[scntrx-deactivated20191108]

[tank-girll-deactivated20191211]

[zoiodlula]

[d-alj]

[nursery-deactivated20160926]

[punlovsin]

[electraheartlolita-deactivated2]

[heavensghost]

[refiningfire]

[poison-ivy-on-drugs]

[minimushroomms]

[somecutething]

[otherpens]

le ancien razzle dazzle

[neonmanatee]

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

[gettingintoknives]

oh to be a bear and sit in front of a beautiful location for many hours without moving

[thirdfinger]

step 1: make girl laugh step 2: make girl moan

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[mariaawaria]

mood: need hugs and slow kisses