kittiesntitties @audiez - Tumblr Blog

nothingbutunlost-deactivated202

Not to brag but I’m a solid 3/10

gahdamnpunk

Lmfaaooooo Norway just called the US a dusty ass bitch and they ain’t wrong

systlin

I mean, as someone in the USA, they ain’t wrong

it’s not that i feel lonely - i feel alone, completely, in this life.

and i think that’s worse.

no one gets it.

scum2000

writing a tumblr post these days makes me feel like im alone on an apocalyptic planet and i speak into a wallkie talkie every now and again to look for other survivors

mcsqu1bb

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

mcsqu1bb

Update:

He found his way into my sister's room.

And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.

mcsqu1bb

Holy fuck this doll is creepy

mcsqu1bb

Another update:

The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust

thesaltofcarthage

vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose

annethecatdetective

Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose

fuck-customers

A lot of them probably wouldn't last at your job

Last year I had an internship at a fancy office during the day, and a food service job at night. One of the ladies at the office told me she needed a part-time job for some extra cash, and I let her know about an opening in my food service job, described what would be expected, all of that.

Guys. She quit after one (1) shift, called me the next day, and ranted, “You never told me it was going to be that hard, is that what you do every night?! I’m not 20 anymore, I’m 50, I can’t believe they only pay you $9.50/hr to do all that work!” [For the record, I had coworkers who were 65+]

She was shocked when I explained that yeah, most food service jobs require you to stock heavy boxes, work the register, and learn to cook/prep food, then clean up before you go home. It never occurred to her that people who “just flip burgers” actually have demanding jobs.

“I’m going to have to be extra nice to those people from now on!” Like yeah, no shit?

jadelyn

I’ve told this story before I’m sure, but when I got my first office job and escaped retail hell, I tended to stay at my desk on my breaks. My manager, well-meaning, passed by and reminded me to make sure I took my breaks and got up and got away from my desk regularly.

I kinda laughed and said “Tanya, I worked retail before this. This entire job is a break, to me. I get to sit down all day. Just let me enjoy that.”

And I still think about it sometimes when I’m in the breakroom in the morning. How I have the unspeakable luxury to take my coffee cup, go to the kitchen, wash the cup out, pour myself a new cup of coffee, chat with coworkers if anyone’s in the breakroom while I’m doing that, and then head back to my desk before I really *start* my day. Without worrying that I’m going to get in trouble or be seen as slacking off. As opposed to the rushed “toss your purse in a locker, clock in, and get out on the floor and start cleaning things/helping customers/fixing signage/etc.” start-of-shift routine from my retail days.