Audition Harbor

In need of audition material? Throw down you anchor and have an explore! Take a peak at the tags to navigate directly to the pieces you desire. (Header image is Claude Monet's Shipping by Moonlight)

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Three Sisters

by Brian Friel

Male, Dramatic

VERSHININ: Oh, come on! (laughs) That's just not true. Educated, intelligent people are valuable in every community, even more valuable in a place like this. What's the population of this town? One hundred thousand? And there are three of you. Three Prozorovs encircled by one hundred thousand ignorant uneducated people. Of course you'll be eroded bit by bit, day by day, until finally the one hundred thousand will overwhelm you. But the fact that you're swallowed up doesn't mean you'll have made no impact. Because you will. You'll have influenced perhaps--let's say six other people. And in turn those six will influence twelve more. And that twelve another twenty-four. Until finally, finally people like you will be in the majority. Until finally in two or three hundred years' time the quality of life on this earth will be transformed and beautiful and marvelous beyond our imagining. Because that's the life man longs for and aspires to. And even though he hasn't achieved it yet, he must look forward to it, dream about it, prepare for it, But he can prepare for it only if he has more vision and more knowledge than his father or his grandfather.

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Peter and the Starcatcher

by Rick Elice

Female, Comedic

MRS. BUMBRAKE: First Class ain't what it used to be. 'Course, back in my salad days, I was a green girl bringing up brats in a big, breezy brownstone in Brighton. That was a tight spot, too, and hell on the household help. Especially the kitchen boy--a lovely island lad who cooked a cunning cannelloni, plus a pasta fazool to make you drool. But oh, it made the master mad how the mistress moaned fer 'is manicotti. He beat that boy something brutal, but the boy didn't say boo. Point is--we must button our beaks and be brave like that boy, or my name's not Betty Bumbrake. Now, you might well be afraid you'll never clap eyes on your father again, and it cuts me to the core, but never show that sorry Slank the slightest sniff of fear. There are men who can smell it on you, Molly, and they make you pay...

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Really Really

by Paul Downs Colaizzo

Female, comedic

GRACE: Hey Mess. I made you coffee. And pancakes. I made too many so I hope you're hungry. My rent check is on the fridge and my Statistics midterm is right here in this folder. And I bought an air horn, since you'll be here alone for the next few days, that I'm keeping on the shelf. It says "not for indoor use" but if you need to use it then you use it indoors, outdoors, on tours and through the floors, you understand me? Grace to Leigh. Wake up. Also--I just want you to know--we all pitched in to get Jennie Abrahamson that dress she won't shut up about for her birthday. I took care of your contribution, don't worry--you don't have to pay me back. I told everyone it was from you. But you have to sign the card.

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Three Sisters

by Brian Friel

Male, Dramatic

VERSHININ: Did you ever wonder what if would be like if you could begin your life over again--with the knowledge that you have now? Supposing you could just put aside the life you've already lived as if it were just a tryout, and then start the other one, the real life. D'you know the first thing you'd do? You'd make absolutely sure you wouldn't repeat yourself. You'd try to create a different environment for yourself: a house like this, spacious, lots of light, flowers, the whiff of women... I should have told you: I'm married. I've two little girls. My wife is... delicate. But the first rule must be: never repeat yourself. Oh, no. Never. Never.

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Fishing

by Michael Weller

Female, Dramatic

SHELLY: Just sometimes I don't know I think about it. About how things don't work out sometimes or not work out exactly more like not work out the way you want them to. Or even work out but not be what you thought they'd be. And how you adjust. I know you have to fight. I know that. But you oughta be able to get your head into a place where whatever's happening around you... outside of you... it's O.K. It's just O.K. no matter which way things go. Anyway, I know what I mean. It's like, some people always go around looking for a beautiful place to be in and other people make whatever place they're in beautiful.

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This Is Modern Art

by Idris Goodwin and Kevin Coval

Male, African American, Dramatic

SEVEN: It was me / An easel / Two paintbrushes / A palate / Some acrylic paint / Few canned goods / An iPod / And my thoughts.

Night time was the hardest. After work. walking through a city of potential canvases. A post-industrial city like this this, a city constantly evicting, downsizing, and forgetting -- A city constantly advertising and flaunting-- My fingers stay twitiching with desire: "Just a tag real quick."

But I gotta lay low--Stick to the game plan--I'd never gone this long before--And trust every time I thought "I got this. Just a small one," I'd hear it one loop.

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Artefacts

by Mike Bartlett

Female, teen, Comedy

Content: Body Negativity

KELLY: I hate shopping on my own. I feel like such a Kelly-no-mates so I've given up but I didn't want to go home. It's better out. So I'm having a Coke, reading the Heat and my phone rings. It's Mum. Jesus. I'm reading about Cameron Diaz. I put it on silent, I think she's mental, there's this thing about the top ten fat legs. Charlotte Church is at three. They should have Fern Britton in that. She's massive. Put another sugar in my Coke. There's a picture of this girl with her tits out. My legs feel fat now. Look at the people opposite me, they look depressed. Then my phone's ringing again. Mum. Jesus. Leave me alone. It's seven o'clock. I leave. Walk. Hate London. Don't care where I go.

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The Elephant Man

by Bernard Pomerance

Male, Dramatic

GOMM: The man's a moral swamp. Is that not clear yet? Is he attractive? Deceit often is. Friendly? Swindlers can be. Another loan? Not another cent. It may be your money, Freddie; but I will not tolerate laboring like a navvy that the London should represent honest charitable and compassionate science, and have titled swindlers mucking up the pitch, He was succeeded in destroying himself so rabidly, you ought not doubt an instant if was his real aim all along. He broke the contracts, gambled the money away, lied, and like an infant in his mess, gurgles and wants to do it again. Never mind details, don't want to know. Break and be glad. Don't hesitate. Today. One-man moral swamp. Don't be sucked in.

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Three Sisters

by Brian Friel

Male, Dramedy

CHEBUTYKIN: To hell with the whole lot of them. Just because I'm called 'Doctor' they think I can make them all... whole! Me! Who knows sweet damn all! Even the sweet damn-all I used to know, that's forgotten too. Gone--gone--gone. So to hell with them all. (To his reflection:) And to hell with you specifically, my friend. You know why you're drunk, don't you? Last Wednesday--correct? That woman that came to see you and you diagnosed appendicitis--correct? (Shakes his head very slowly.) But your diagnosis was was incorrect and the lady died, my friend. Twenty-five years ago I knew one or two things; but they're vanished too--all gone, gone, gone... Maybe you're the reality. Maybe this (refers to his own body) is the image. Maybe this hasn't arms and legs and a head at all. Maybe this just pretends to exist... pretends to walk about and eat and sleep... I wish that were true. Oh God, how I wish this (body) didn't exist... (he cries. Then suddenly:) What the hell do I care? that conversation in the club the other day-- (To mirror.) Remember? About Shakespeare and Voltaire. You've never read Shakespeare or Voltaire--not a line. But you all pretended you were experts, didn't you? Shysters! Shabby, grubby shysters! And then suddenly you remembered the woman you had killed, expert doctor. And then you realized how bogus and empty you are. So you went out and got sloshed. What a magnificent creature you are.

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I and You

by Lauren Gunderson

Female, Teen, Comedy

CAROLINE: Why would I help you? In what planet in what universe would I help with a school project when I'm not, in fact, in school right now. Like at all. 'Cause I'm kinda sick. Like everyone knows I'm sick and everyone is freaked out about it and no one comes here and brings waffle fries and bad posters to my house -- So why are you bringing poems and fries and posters to me, in my room, in my house -- why are you doing anything in my room, in my house right now, guyIdon'tknow whatthehell.

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Peter and the Starcatcher

by Rick Elice

Male, Comedic

STACHE: Now, you're likely wondering: can the fellow before you be entirely evil? Can no compassion un-crease this furrowed brow? Well, fret not, mon frère--I'm a romantic! There's a poet in these pirate veins and so I plug into the muse. But what do do? Which style to use? Iambic? Box office poison. Haiku? SamurAI-don't-think-so! Hoopah! Got it!

A pirate with scads of panache

Wants the key to the trunk with the cash.

Now, here's some advice

Tho' I seem to be nice--

I'LL CUT YOU!!! Slit you up one side 'n' down the other so ye can watch yer own stomach flop around on the deck.

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4000 Miles

by Amy Herzog

Female, Chinese-American, Comedy

AMANDA: I'll tell you my deal first, that's only fair. I'm at Parsons, duh. I sort of have a boyfriend but mostly not right now. I grew up in San Francisco, my parents run like a dim sum empire, so I'm kinda rich and I don't really like to apologize for it. Um, my sister is five years older and she already has two kids which I think is so gross. Like I can't even stand to be in her house because of the smell. And I'm gonna be an international art star, that much is clear, though I don't know exactly what medium yet. Your turn.

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Really Really

by Paul Downs Colaizzo

Male, Comedic

COOPER: I'm young. I got time. It's like--I could stress out in my early twenties, and get work done and get that assignment in and write down what the professor says, but for what? To go to work with my dad in this crazy market? That doesn't sound like fun to me! So--what? What's left? Option One--Pull a Davis. Stress about what you're told to do and force an early life heart attack on yourself. Not judging, just saying. And there's Option Two: The Cooper way. Four years? Hell no. Five. Six. Six and a half. I know people. And this way, I end up saving time. Why? Because the people who opted for Option One work towards retirement, but the blood pressure and the anxiety and the extra bullshit stress decrease the chance of that 401K seeing the light of day. So us Option Two guys--we'll cry at your funeral and mutter something about being too young to die, but those extra three years I took in college, they turn into twenty or forty extra years added to my vacation called "life."

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Nocturama

By Annie Baker

Male, Dramedy

SKAGGS: I miss her. I mean, I want to rip her fucking head off but I also just miss her. I know this is technically not about her, like technically it's projection or something? But I actually miss her. Her stupid face next to me in bed. Do you think it would be weird if I called? Just to let her know I'm in Vermont?

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Fishing

by Michael Weller

Female, Dramedy

MARY-ELLEN: I feel there's some kind of negative energy between us. I don't know exactly what it is but I feel it very strongly and it's gonna get in the way of a good event today if we don't do something about it, and just generally, you know, bad vibes ought to be avoided because they're an outside force and you don't want to be controlled by an outside force. What I want to suggest is that when we're more into the high maybe we could concentrate on finding some good energy inside of us and we could work at directing that good energy toward each other, and then later we'll be able to refer back to that energy whenever we feel bad vibes developing between us.

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Middletown

by Will Eno

Male, Dramatic

COP: I do like this time of day: night. All the people. All their bones and arteries and personal problems. Beautiful animal: the Person. Dark. (Pause.) I was too rough with that guy, earlier. I think I embarrassed him. Regrettable. I'm not myself. Sad stuff and home and I haven't been sleeping, but, I guess we all have a story. Once upon a time, Once upon a time, and so on, The End. (Brief pause.) I try to uphold the law, keep some order around here, but, I have my moods. I just remember screaming "Awe" at the poor guy. Hard word to scream It just sounds like a sound. And you can't bully people into feeling something, anyway. Oh, well. (Pause.) We once almost had a Glass Museum, here. It would have been called the Middletown Glass Museum. Fact. (Brief pause.) Behold. You know, just look. This is what life is like, here, right now. (Brief pause.) Looking in people's windows at night makes you feel lonely. Lonely, but, lonely along with the people in the windows. Along with the whole world, the whole lonely billions. It feels sort of holy, in some screwy way. Fact. (Brief pause.) Fact.

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Bullshot Crummond

by Ron House, Diz White, John Neville Andrews, Alan Shearman, and Derek Cunningham

Male, Comedic

CRUMMOND: Extraordinary! "My dear Captain Crummond. I am in terrible trouble, and need your help desperately. My father has recently disappeared, following a mysterious airplane crash!" Mmm! "Meet me at the Carlton Tea Rooms at four o'clock today. Yours in distress," No name! No address! Scented notepaper! Family crest watermark! "In Libris Fentonium Sempere Sum" --In Liberty I Am Always Fenton! Fenton! Now there was a Willy Fenton who served under me in France, and he used to write... to his sister named Rosemary! Must be her! But I wonder what the deuced sort of trouble she'd be in?