* WOMAN !

audrey carolyn hummel-anderson. eighteen. senior. cheerios captain. residential mean girl. i sometimes play the ukulele.

[audreychummel]

bubbletxesmike‌:

Tomorrow is they day I start thinking up choreography for some new direction numbers, to help Blaine out. And no, you will not be doing Gangnam Style. Ever. Again. 

I’ve only heard horror stories about that, just as long as we don’t do Old Time Road on the setlist I’ll be fine.

[audreychummel]

lilhaylesevs‌:

Why are Mondays always the worst? And honestly, what gave teachers the right to do pop quizzes on mondays? like we’re barely functioning on mondays.

Ew, that sounds awful. If I get a pop quiz on a Monday I might actually walk out of the class.

[audreychummel]

schuesterdaniel‌:

it really doesn’t.

You’ll admit it eventually, I’ll get it out of you.

[audreychummel]

shtalex‌:

audrey, are you blind? who doesn’t love tall, dark, and handsome blondes with blue eyes? lanky? me? maybe a few years ago but i’d like to think my time at the gym every once in a while keeps me from being a sting bean. it’s a big school, and i’m good at avoiding people i don’t want to see.  but i’m starting to worry they’ll be searching me out for revenge. so you’ll actually be a kind sister for one day? thank god, i need that. i just need someone to be on my side.

I’m gonna have to break it to you, but you’re pale as fuck so unless you plan on getting a spray tan soon you’re just tall, pale, and a mildly attractive blonde with blue eyes. You’re still a little string beany, but I guess some girls are into that. I’m always on your side, even when I don’t act like it. Unfortunately, that’s the issue with being related.

[audreychummel]

@partofginasworld: haha blame charlie! but yes, i definitely want to see you asap when you're not busy with cheer and glee and all your other queen bee duties.

@audreyhummel: i'll beat his ass lol but the minute i'm free we're doing some serious retail therapy and iced coffee runs

[audreychummel]

@partofginasworld: hi, so, i've moved to this town on a limb and i definitely need friends. someone please just befriend me. i'm nice...i promise. haha.

@audreyhummel: um hi you've been in town for like a week and i still haven't seen you. unfair.

[audreychummel]

jaredbyers‌:

So… how about them Yankees?

What about them?

[audreychummel]

schuesterdaniel‌:

It doesn’t mean anything.

Sure it doesn’t, babe.

[audreychummel]

willhummelson‌:

I kinda wish I didn’t think about that now… Hey! I can’t just tell you, you gotta tell me something worth the special info first!

What can I tell you that you don’t already know? I haven’t been doing anything interesting lately except harassing Alex and cheering.

[audreychummel]

schuesterdaniel‌:

Audrey.

What?

[audreychummel]

schuesterdaniel‌:

Is not, but okay.

Is too. If you weren’t interested you would have just said so, but you didn’t, so I’m right.

[audreychummel]

tythemechanic‌:

There’s definitely nothing wrong with that. You tend to pick up on quirks and habits of people that you’re around frequently, so that totally makes sense. Skincare probably is important.

You have a point there. Oh, it’s so important, I’m shocked Uncle Coop didn’t shove a good skincare routine in your face.

[audreychummel]

schuesterdaniel‌:

I’m pleading the fifth on that one.

Pleading the fifth is basically the same as admitting to it.

[audreychummel]

rorywht‌:

yeah see, a lot of people are acting like it’s almost magic and i just honestly thought it was a scam but now i think i may just have to try it. like they need another boost to their egos. 

I’m in love with mine, and even if it doesn’t help it’s just a nice feeling on the skin. I think they need an ego booster, but not in the way they think.

[audreychummel]

purplella‌:

Legally? This isn’t court, Audrey. They’re legally allowed to do whatever they hell they want, they’re my parents. But no, we aren’t. We turn eighteen next week. Ahh, missed your backhanded compliments. Though funny enough, I’ll be going to school to learn how to properly dye hair. 

No, see I think once you hit eighteen they can’t really tell you shit anymore, like if you leave the house or dye your hair they can’t really ground you or punish you. That’s the fun in adulthood. Thanks, El, but I didn’t think it was that backhanded. Really? That’ll be fun, you’re more than welcome to do my hair if you want, once you actually go to school for it. I’d rather not let you run crazy with scissors towards my hair without being a few weeks into cosmetology school.

[audreychummel]

willhummelson‌:

… Do I even want to ask what the heck a circle jerk is? I mean I love my guys but this is sounding really weird now Audi. But no - its not either of these things you speak of but something far tamer and PG even.

Probably not, but with context clues I’m sure you could figure out what it is. Then what is itttt? I wanna know.

[audreychummel]

shtalex‌:

please, id on’t have to make this shit up. it’s all very plausible with the looks i have going for me. obviously i told them to fuck off, but then of course she acted like i had ran over her cat and ruined her life or some shit. me? an asshole? oh please, i’m such a fucking angel. but seriously, i just need you to let it go because it’s not going to make me change anything.

Alex, I love you, but you don’t have much ‘looks’ going for you. Sure there’s the whole bad boy thing going for you, but you’re so goddamn lanky. Fuck hopefully you won’t run into her at school although that would be a pretty funny moment. Fine, I’ll drop it, for twenty-four hours but after that I’m going to insult you some more until I get tired of it.