They call me Snixx

Santana Lopez. 44. Divorced and totally ok with it. Proud Mama of a doctor. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

valeriescoutlopez‌:

Private: 

I’m sorry I take after you, I’m stubborn and right now I’m honestly scared. I can’t lose my mama… What would I do without you?

I can help, I can do all of the cooking and cleaning so you can focus on getting better. How the heck am I going to work knowing that you’re not getting better? My last memories wouldn’t be of a grumpy b-word, it would be of my mama who is a warrior and can fight through anything. I’m not going to have to make any last memories of you for a while, you’re going to be around for a while. Long enough to see me get married to the woman I love and, God willing, become a mama myself to some awesome kiddos. Mama, please let me be around for this..

Private:

I’m not sorry you’re like me, mija, I’m just realising what I put your abuela through. I know you are, Val, I’m a little scared too. You listen to me, whether I’m here or not, you will never lose me, understand? For now, I’m praying that I’ll get to be here for years to come. You’d realise just how strong you really are, you’ll see the woman I see you be everyday.

You can do that stuff, once I’ve had surgery. There’s nothing I can do to get better right now, I have to wait for surgery and then after that I can focus on healing. TI know, mija, but I don’t want you risking your job. I am a warrior because I have something worth fighting for. You think I’m gonna pass up on the chance of getting to be a part of your life and the many milestones you’ll encounter? You’re so grown up now. I miss when you were little and you’d crawl into my lap and I’d just play with your hair, you’d almost always fall asleep. Your Mom wasn’t too happy if I did that just before she was leaving for a rehearsal. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

valeriescoutlopez:

Private:

No mama. This is where I put my foot down, you need me right now. You were there for me for my whole entire life and theres now way in heck that I’m not going to be there for you now. My career can wait, there’s always going to be a need for acupuncturist and right now I need to be there for you. Please don’t try and prevent me from doing this mama, I can’t consciously go to work four days a week knowing that you’re suffering and that I can help. I just can’t believe that this is happening… I can’t believe the chemo isn’t working… I know chemo is a gamble, but I truly thought that it would help you…

Private:

¡Jesús cogiendo a Cristo! ¡Culpo a tu abuela por esto! Ella siempre deseó que si tuviera una hija sería tan dura como yo.

You can’t help, bebe. All you’re going to end up doing is spending time at home and hovering over me, you know how much I hate it when people hover. I don’t want to turn into mega bitch on you of all people. I’m sick, I’m uncomfortable, I’m tired and people generally piss me off at is. I don’t want you around that. What if, God forbid, things don’t work? You really think I want your last memories of me to be of this grumpy bitch and not the mami you know and love? Work. Please. If you want to take time off, then wait until I’ve got a date for surgery because I’m gonna need help after that while I’m healing and all that but please don’t make me be evil to you. It’s my job to protect you, up until recently I think I’ve done an ok job at that, please don’t make me fuck it up even further. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

valeriescoutlopez:

Private 

What do you mean that it didn’t work….? How didn’t it work..? When do they want you to go for surgery? I’m going to take a leave off of work for a few weeks so I can take care of you. I… I thought it was working mama… You know I can’t deal with losing you..

Private:

I’m sorry, mija. I wish I could tell you it worked and this nightmare was behind us and we’d never have to think about it ever again. I wish I could keep you safe from this. They want to schedule for as soon as possible but there’s a wait. I’m working on finding somewhere that can fit me in sooner but finding somewhere that will take my insurance and isn’t going to end up with my miles from home is proving difficult right now but I’m taking care of it. Valeria, no. You don’t need to take time off, ok? I don’t want you screwing up the career you’ve worked your ass off for just because of this, you understand me? Chemo doesn’t work on everyone and I guess this cancer must be residing in a Lopez if it’s being this much of a pain in the ass. You’re not losing me, ok? My chest just won’t be such a great pillow anymore and it’s not like they’re entirely part of me anyway. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

valeriescoutlopez:

What do you mean by the plan is being readjusted?

Private:

I mean that...God,I hoped I’d never say anything like this to you. You worry far too much about me as it is and then this happened and the chemo...

Baby, it didn’t work. The chemo didn’t get rid of the cancer. I have to have surgery, maybe some more chemo or radiation therapy after. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

samueljamesevans:

Jeeze, I was just trying empathize with you Santana. You didn’t have to go and be such a bitch. I thought if you’re going to be with my daughter’s mom we should at least try to get along, but I guess not. 

That new girlfriend of yours must be paying off, look at you using big words like empathise. How many times were you dropped on your head as a child? Just curious because you have known me how many years and yet you still act all surprised that I’m a bitch. Well, guess what, Evans? I am a bitch. I’m such a bitch that not only will it be in my obituary, it’ll be on my fucking headstone! You wanna try and get along? Then don’t insinuate that you have any fucking clue what it’s like to fill out paperwork for a disease that is quite literally trying to kill you! While you’re at it, don’t imply that I’m the reason for your fucking divorce! Yes, I’m with Quinn now, but you’re the one that went around sticking his pencil dick in some other chick so don’t you dare talk to me about getting the fuck along when you try to imply the reason your marriage ended was because of me. At least grow a pair and man up, own your fuck up cos that’s what you did, Sam, you FUCKED UP! I’m not complaining cos I’ve been in love with Quinn for years and now I get maybe a few months of getting to show her that but at least I can own up to that shit. If Lucy wants to hate me, that’s her decision, but at least I can say I’m honest with your daughter, very much like I am with mine. Never, EVER try to use Quinn or Lucy as a pathetic excuse to make a dig at me for something that you’re too much of a ballsack to own.

[auntiesnixxtalks]

valeriescoutlopez:

Oh no… What’s wrong? There’s something wrong, isn’t there?

Baby, breathe. There’s nothing wrong...more like things haven’t gone quite according to plan and now the plan is being...readjusted. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

samueljamesevans:

Paperwork is a bitch, Q and I had to fill out so much paperwork for our divorce, but you would know that.

Excuse you? I would know that? Funny, I recall your infidelity being the reason for your divorce. Nor do I remember your divorce or any divorce that I’ve ever come across as being life threatening so how about you shut those overgrown, botox filled, flapping lips of yours and leave Q the fuck out of this because oddly enough, she has nothing to do with cancer or medical insurance either.

[auntiesnixxtalks]

valeriescoutlopez:

Don’t joke about dying. You know you’re going to be okay, everything is going to be okay. You know that you’re stronger than this stupid cancer. Do you want any help with the paperwork?

Mija, everyone dies eventually, although I would rather it be later than sooner. Bebe, I think we need to talk about all this cancer stuff and how strong I am, because I might be strong but I’m not invincible. I can handle the paperwork, I don’t want you having to deal with that stuff, ok? What I do want, is some time with my baby girl and a chance to talk, if you think you can spare some time for your mami? 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

Jesus fucking Christ! If cancer doesn’t kill me, filling out all this damn paperwork for insurance will. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

victakespics:

I mostly just highly dislike my current work and can’t wait until I get to be a photographer again. I’ll agree to that, though. Even if work tends to take up about 90% of my time.

If you’re that unhappy there, leave. Life is too fucking short to be doing shit you don’t even like. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

lilymariereid:

Distracted, eh? All good things, I hope? I mean, it might be a good idea, but it’s ultimately up to you.

What can I say? I’m a busy woman. Yes, good things. I will. It needs putting out of the way, it’s a bit of an eyesore in my hall. Now that I think of it, I really am going to move it because I’m pretty sure there’s a letter opener in there and I do not want Caitlin getting hold of that and I want you guys to come over soon, I needs to get my cuddle on with that little cutie and I’m almost positive you need a night off from cooking. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

lightscameraquinn:

I’d love to see you try.

You seem to be forgetting something, Q. The rules have changed. A whole new world of ways to drive you nuts has opened up. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

sableac:

That sucks, sorry to hear that.

It does and it doesn’t. It’s a weird fucking situation. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

tomwiththepretentiousname:

I can’t imagine that’s the easiest task in the world… You alright, despite the uncertainty?

Can’t really answer that on account of the uncertainty...

[auntiesnixxtalks]

lightscameraquinn:

Probably a lot of down time and trying not to annoy your kid… Or maybe that’s just me…

Funny, I was planning on annoying you. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

victakespics:

I personally can’t imagine this, but I hope everything works out for you, in the end.

Seems a lot of people can’t imagine this. My last attempt at having a moral to this story fell flat so instead I’m going to say this, there’s so much more to life than work. 

[auntiesnixxtalks]

lilymariereid:

You ever find a place for said box? Or is it still sitting by the front door?

I think it’s still there. I’m not sure, I’ve been distracted since then. I should probably put it in storage so it’s out of the way. Or at least make sure it’s out of reach for the next time you come over with Caitlin.