fic details: no warnings, pining/angst, title taken fromĀ āwant you backā- 5sos, reader is implied to be a demon slayer, inspired by rengoku telling tanjiro to focus during mugen trainĀ
And then, his thumb and forefinger come to grasp at your chin, tilting it up towards him. "Focus," Rengoku says.
Your breath hitches. Strands of his hair brush your skin, the heat of his exhales skimming the space between you.
He stares at you, smiling like always, but a with hint of seriousness thinning the line of his mouth.
I can't focus if you're that close to me, you think, but another glance at Kyojuro's face tells you that excuse won't slide.
You huff, forcing your eyes closed.
"Focus," he repeats, and you do. You focus on the small flame blooming in you at the contact of your skin. You focus on the subtle scent of the ash still clinging to his haori, unique in its sweetness, like sugar over an open fire. You focus on the gentleness with which he holds you.
You focus on all of that, while desperately trying to ignore the fact that you're sitting here, eyes closed, facing upwards, half-waiting for him to kiss you.
But he doesn't. His thumb simply taps your chin, another reminder to concentrate. So you suck in a deep breath and pretend you're thinking of your training when really, your mind never leaves him, and your heart tries futilely to beat in sync with the rise and fall of his chest.
kuroo, you think, might be one of the stupidest people to ever exist.
and that has nothing to do with his grades, reallyāheās never failed a test and heās always top of your class and youāre sure if he really applied himself, he could probably do anything he put his mind to. but as he closes the door to the storage closet behind you, all of that seems to dissolve right at your feetāleaving you to believe that he truly couldn't get any dumber than this.
āthis is an awful idea,ā you say, and he has a stupid little smile on his face as he clicks the door shut.
āitās only awful if we get caught.ā
āand weāre gonna get caught.ā
he grins, ānot if weāre careful.ā
and you could kill himāyou really couldābut heās pretty and tall and something seems to spark beneath his skin as light shadows the room, so you hold off, a little more captivated than you'd ever care to admit.
he shifts, stumbling over broomsticks and dodging the equipment scattered on the floor beneath him, and you laughābright and warm and loud enough to fill the room before kuroo throws a hand over your mouth.
"okay, i don't know what you think careful means, but jesus, i hope it isn't that." his brows knit at the top of his head as he whispers, and it only leaves more laughter to fall from your lips.
"this is stupid," you mumble into the palm of his hand as you tug his fingers away from your face. "you're stupid."
"woah, woah, i just wanted to see you before the gameāyou're the one causing all the commotion." you tilt your to the side, watching a fire begin to dance through his eyes.
"and you couldn't see me anywhere else?"
he's grinning againābig, wide, and toothyāand you know you've set yourself up.
"nope, not like this." his fingers reach the side of your cheeksābreath tangling in the air between youāand god, you really have set yourself up.
"oh absolutely not, we are not about to-"
and he kisses you.
and kuroo tastes like warmth and honey and something like home, and though you realized that a long time ago, in this momentāas he backs you against the wall, kicking up a mop in the processāyou can feel it drag across your lips.
he follows your breath, tugging the air from your lungs, andāas much as you wish to keep him from the satisfactionāthe feeling nearly swallows you whole.
"i'm gonna kill you," you murmur into the side of his mouthāyour hands finding the base of his shouldersāand he chuckles, teeth pulling at your bottom lip.
"oh please." you can feel him smile into the kissāfeel the warmth of his laughter spread across your skin. "you'd miss me too much."
"i'll live," you reply, and there's a certain dread with pulling awayāa force so incredibly kuroo that you really really wish he wasn't right. that you wouldn't miss him, or this, or the stale air of the supply closet as much as you would.
"oh, well if that's the case i can just-" he backs awayāfeet tracing the floor beneath youāand as he reaches the door you tug at his wrist, pulling him back in your direction.
"hmāi think someone doesn't want me to go." he smiles againāa devilish little thing that rolls across his features.
"just shut up and kiss me," you say, and god, you don't have to ask him twice.
this was the last place you wanted, or expected to be. and there was kuroo, on the opposite side of the room.
it was almost too strange to be a coincidence. what are the odds, that heās here, in the waiting room of the ER, at the same time as you are.
at first glance, you couldnāt help but worryāwonder, what he was here for. there was a part of your subconscious that shut down at the idea of him being seriously sick or injured.
heās been here for awhile, you can tell, the bags beneath his lashes hadnāt been there yesterday, and his stubble was clearly something he didnāt have time to worry about since arriving.
you took a seat across the room from him, relaxing against the cold leather seat. It was too quiet for the ER.
he didnāt notice you.
you manage to keep calm despite everything about the situation. why you were here, why he was here, the fact that he even is here, and it all seems to be under your control until a nurse comes out of the hallway, calling your name.
kuroo, who youād previously presumed was sleeping, (as he hadnāt made an awareness of your presence), looked up at the nurse beside him as if sheād said the name of someone who was dead.
and then, his eyes lingered their way over to you, as you quickly sped past him and disappeared into the ER with the nurse.
the one thing you hated about kuroo: the feeling of his eyes, following or watching.
but you couldnāt help but wonder what they looked like nowā filled with concern, confusion, or hurt? the likely answer was nonchalant, as he had been since the last time you saw him.
all thoughts of him were suppressed as the nurse began speaking to you, and you became more tired, and in less pain as the early morning hours slipped by.
you were discharged 3 hours later, at 5:30AM, and though you werenāt looking forward to the walk home, you were glad to be feeling better, even if just a little.
when you stepped into the cold parking lot of the ER, It was still dark out, and likely would be for a while longer.
but kuroo wasnāt supposed to be here anymore. he hadnāt been in the waiting room on your way out, so why was he still here, sitting on the curb as if he was waiting for something.
no matter how curious or concerned you couldāve been, you thought he might not notice if you slipped away into the dark. not like he noticed before.
but your first suspicion was rightā he had been waiting for something, and with all his senses on alert, it wasnāt hard to pick up on your shuffling footsteps to the right of him.
āy/n?ā
itās cold, and you could only imagine that the redness on your cheeks would be easily excused by that. you didnt want to take your chances, but quicker than expected, kuroo was in front of you, hot breath clouding out from his parted lips. heād had to pick up pace to catch you before you left, again.
he knew you wouldāve gotten away, and you were sure you very well could have too. but you were so tired, and so hurt, that letting this happen was easier than letting it not.
āare you,ā he panted, eyes narrowed and now you know; āare you okay?ā
it was surprising, kuroo so close you could touch, now knowing what his eyes had been filled with: concern.
and you almost donāt know how to respond, brows knitting in confusion.. or hurt. āām okay tetsurÅ.ā
it comes out more like a question, and he swallows, and now youāre scared.
all this waiting, all this time apart, and here, now, he has something to say.
āi just.. couldnāt go home,ā his gaze hardens, but only slightly. ānot knowing, uh, yāknow.ā
āyeah.. yeah i uh,ā you start rambling, only to be stopped by kurooās widening eyes, and the feeling of something warm running down your chin.
blood.
āah, shit here,ā he hesitates, but pulls a tissue from his coat pocket and gently wipes away at your skin, tilting your face upwards to stop the blood pooling from your nose.
the feeling of his callouses so delicately caressing your jaw has you spiraling, and again, itās all too much.
you lower yourself to sit on the freezing pavement, and kuroo follows, the two of you sitting in the illumination of the bolded red sign that reads: āEMERGENCYā.
sputtering, kuroo gently removes his hand as yours takes his place, and you immediately wish he hadnāt, but oddly enough, you smile.
itās not a happy smile, he thinks, but itās not a sad one either. itās a relieved one.
āthanks. for waiting.ā
your words come as a surprise to him, and he swears, heād lost this feeling months ago. but in your absence it only grew dormant, and now, it was coming forward all at once.
āi didnāt think you noticed me anymore.ā
his heart sunk, watching as you poured yourself into him. if you were ever going to be vulnerable with him again, why wouldnāt it be now, outside the ER, at nearly 6:00AM on a chilly November morning?
āNoticing and acknowledging are two different things, yāknow.ā he only half grins, but itās sincere, and he hopes you catch it.
You swallow harshly, remembering how desperately you used to wane yourself to get his notice. Youād never known youād gotten it.
āright.ā
he falls quiet for once, an occurrence youād be informed was only relevant when he was around you before. he didnāt feel the need to show off, or be funny, or overly-anything. just himself.
though youād never thought that was why. maybe youād always felt like a bore, or unworthy.
āiām always gonna care about you.ā he means it, and you know he does, but it isnāt what you wanted to hear.
ācare and love are two different things, yāknow.ā itās less of a joke than he thinks it is, but you still watch as he bites away a cocky-smirk, and again, you hate those eyes that bore into you with too much confidence.
āright, well, that too.ā and again, he means it, ājust not.. like that again. not yet.ā
he doesnāt mean it in a bad way, and you canāt take it that way, even if it does sting. even if you are still bitter.
you remove the blood stained tissue from your face, sniffling softly as you think of how to respond.
āi know.ā itās barely a whisper, but kuroo looks down at his shoes, almost shyly.
and again, itās too quiet. for the ER, and for kurooās presence. itās heavy, on most occasionsā as heād been the one to make or break you.
you never thought heād end up being both.
but right now, with glossed irises, heavy eyes, hot breath and your blood staining his hands, itās vulnerable, and itās raw, and itās the part of kuroo that makes things okay.
he looks over at you, with that dumb half grin, and places a hand behind your neck, bringing his lips to your forehead.
as much as it hurt not knowing before, now you canāt help but think that whatever happens between you and kuroo, you know itās for the better.
āYou look attractive with glasses on,ā you say, fingers idly tracing unidentifiable shapes on Tooruās beige sweater.Ā
He looks up from his novel -the gesture causing static to build up on your hair- and flashes you a lazy grin; amusement glowing slightly behind his eyes.Ā
āOh? How attractive?ā
Your head rests on his chest, and Oikawa can feel the movement of your jaw through his shirt when you speak.
āLike- reaaaaalllyyyy attractive,ā you drawl, and he laughs.Ā
Casting a glance towards his glasses, your hand reaches up- tracing the frames; fingertips gently brushing across his skin when you find the bridge of his nose. Going upwards, you smooth your fingertips across his eyebrows gently, following your imaginary line to the point just above his ear.
You hum quietly. An old song from the radio drifts around your mind.Ā
He gazes at you from behind his lenses; like heās enamoured and captivated by you- lying there in his old Sejoh jacket and fraying, fuzzy socks.Ā
To him, youāre almost ephermeral. Fleeting. This passing ebullience that comes and goes with the wind. A moment.
The Moment.Ā
But youāll never leave him, and relief washes over him every time the thought comes to mind.Ā
The pads of your fingertips drift to his cheek, caressing his face gently. His skin is soft- supple, and itās a wonder how he keeps it that way when you can barely find your own cleanser but-
He does it anyway.Ā
Itās one of the many, many things you love about him.Ā
Your fingers dip down to the ticklish spot on his neck, and he huffs as he scrunches up and swats your hand away teasingly. He lingers for a moment, letting his thumb rub a circle onto your knuckle.
āItās the way he looks at you,ā people say.
It is, you think.Ā
He looks at you like youāre every star in the sky.Ā
He looks like you like he loves you.Ā
And that- that is worth more than anything astrology could offer.Ā
So as Tooru rolls you both over on the couch, flinging his book onto the adjacent coffee table with surprising accuracy and pressing butterfly kisses to your collarbone, you muse to yourself.Ā
just went back to sephora and bought dior ocean di giola and they gave me a little cosmetics bag and a travel size my way for free this is the reason all my money goes to them š”
HAHHAHA
i hope you enjoy your new fragrance >:)) the gift with purchases are THE BEST-
:00 arella are you a fan of more ocean/water scents?
OHH YES TIMESTAMPS!!! if i can.... i would LOVE to visit my old high schoolās Indoor sports hall. i spent 4 years there SO IT HOLDS A LOT OF MEMORY TO ME..... but itās gone because the school is merging with another and the campus isnāt open to the public. i JUST MISS THAT PLACE BECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE, MEMORIES AND YEAH š„ŗš ; fei
Fei! @feirella <3 hello, I hope youāre well & safe + healthy!
Thank you for sending this in & for letting me make a time stamp out of your ask! Without further ado, here it is!Ā
a/n: this did not veer in the direction I originally PLANNED HAHA- this was supposed to be a timestamp ofĀ [9:51 AM] but it became more of a fic >:)-
enjoy!! xx
pairing: oikawa x reader
warnings: mentions of food, contains hq spoilers!
pt. 1 ā¢ pt. 2 (an accompaniment to this! simply a flashback I wrote for fun. :)
the dust (has settled)-
The sight of Oikawa in your old gymnasium is like spotting a flame in a spark.
He isnāt in his jersey, nor his club uniform. Heās just there- spinning a volleyball in his palms with a sort of grace that you donāt recognize.
Bag swinging over your shoulder, you enter as quietly as possible.
The click of the door behind you is audible; echoing across the arched ceiling.
Thereās a curve in his lips, a slight acknowledgment to his cheeks when he hears your arrival.
Nevertheless, you slink to the bench to set down your things.
For a moment or so, you watch him fiddle with the ball; turning it with calm hands.
Itās only when he sets it down that you speak up, crossing your legs and playing with the strap of your canvas tote.
āHey.ā
He gives you a charmed smile.
āHey.ā
āYouāve grown,ā you say, in lieu of what youāre thinking. The statement is subdued.
Did you learn anything while you were away?
Did you find what you were looking for?
ā6ā5,ā he responds. He knows thatās not what you mean.
Thereās an unfamiliarity in the way he moves; like youāve missed something- and you suppose you have.Ā
Not for a lack of trying, of course- people grow apart, and you imagine this new pro-player Tooru isnāt too stocked on leisure time (neither are you)- but thereās a hole in between the high school him and the current him before you now.Ā
The change is intangible and unnamed.Ā
Your nails click against the wooden seats as a false replacement for conversation.
Getting up, you walk towards him, torn between looking down or at ahead.
āWhat are you doing here so early?ā he asks.Ā
His hair is shorter than you remember, freshly cut and harder to ruffle.
āOh,ā you shift your weight, āa fundraising dinner for the club. Iām gonna be a good alumnus.ā
You grin, and he chuckles. Thereās a certain effort in the sound that makes you draw in a breath.Ā
Empty pause.
āItās nice to see you again.ā His words elicit a nod.
āYou look good,ā he adds.
Suave.
You expect there to be a wink; a blown kiss- but nothing. His arms stay by his side, idle almost. Heās lost resemblance to the boy you remember- the one whose fingers itched to set; dismissive flirting and torrential drive.
You push a smile into your cheeks and step closer.
āYou too. You look,ā you rock back on your heels, hands stuffed into your pockets,Ā ādifferent.ā
Wait.Ā
Your temple pulses.Ā
āDifferent from when I last saw you, I mean. Not that you were bad before. Good! You look good.ā
Searching for something to describe how he seems now, you press your tongue against your teeth.
āYou look happier.ā
Oikawa doesnāt react much to your statement, blinking when you stiffly extend a hand to shake.
Thereās a bubbling worry that this is awkward, that as the vbcās former manager you should be able to greet him more warmly.
Former manager, you think- and the uncertainty of how this Tooru will react has you unwilling to move from your spot.Ā
He does take it though, and to your surprise, pulls you into a hug.
It takes you a moment to reply.
āHey,ā you repeat carefully- the syllable interrupted by a quiet hum.
Oikawa, in particular Tooru fashion, smells like the sun.
Swaying slightly, Tooru gives you a long squeeze.
āThank you.ā
You make a muted noise of curiosity, tilting your chin until it rests gently on his shoulder.
āFor what?ā
You were a good friend, Tooru wants to say.Ā
He settles for:Ā āManaging us. I bet we didnāt give you an easy time.āĀ
He accompanies the sentence with a playful eyebrow raise.
You pull away, wrinkling your nose playfully.
āWell, you guys werenāt that bad. A little chaotic, but-ā you snicker lightly.
āPlus,ā you pause,Ā āyou made me proud.āĀ
You muster up your softest smile.Ā
I missed you.
You look atĀ the new him as impartially as you can.
The manifestations of his success are there- in the pin on his jacket; his posture.
But he still rubs the back of his neck at your compliment, and you guess that this Oikawa, however enigmatic, is what the core of Tooru was meant for.
The atmosphere is full of things you donātĀ know and want to learn.
He runs a hand through his hair.
You bite your lip, meeting his gaze.
āIām uh- supposed to check out potential caterers today; for the dinner. Would you...want to come with?ā
You give him a shrug and a hopeful expression.
A beat of contemplation passes. By the time you think to ask for his response, heās already zipping up his jacket, turning in the direction of the door.
Gaze appreciative, he glances back at you.
āSure.ā
And as he leans against the exit, waiting as you grab your things, thereās a lightness in your steps.Ā
Oikawa holds the door open with a flourish, gesturing for you to go first.
You oblige with a teasing curtsy.
āHow chivalrous.ā
He smirks back.
You two walk out of the gym, wind picking up as you leave.
Closing the distance between you, your feet shuffle sideways.
āTooru?ā
āHm?ā
āDo you still use the same cologne?ā
ā...Noo.ā The corners of his eyes wrinkle, and a mischievous glint in his eye catches the light.
You nudge his shoulder and laugh, and it comes out a little easier.
i know we kind of create a version of a character every time we write a fic for them so my question is WHICH fic that youāve written for WHICH character is the closest to someone youād wanna date irl
youāre not sure when it got this farā how it got this far.
nevertheless, you find yourself standing just across the street from your childhood home, watching as people stream in and out the front door, the sound of happy eating and chatter floating over the fence. your steps stutter to a halt, your breath shortening.
āis everything okay?ā oikawaās voice is as gentle as the breeze. when you donāt respond, he takes your wrist, and you turn and hide your face in his shoulder.
āiām so nervous,ā your voice is muffled by his shirt. āiāve never done this before.ā
āhey,ā one hand rests loosely on your bicep, while his other comes up to tilt your chin up, forcing you to look in his eyes. āitāll be fine. itāll be great, even.ā
you still feel like youāre drowning in panic, looking at him with pleading eyes, leaning closer to him as though he could grow large and shield you with sun-browned skin and sky-blue shirts.
he smiles, just with his eyes, and those clear brown irises and huge black pupils are the last thing you see before heās adjusting his grip on your chin just slightly, sliding his large palm across your jaw, and leaning in. silvertongue, youāve heard him called, and though no words are being exchanged between you, you canāt help but agree as every worry flies out of your head.
you put both hands up to his face as he kisses you beneath a rapidly changing peach and turquoise sky. when you break apart, your heartbeat hasnāt sped upā if anything, itās slowed, your blood turned to simple syrup in your veins.
damn, heās good.
āyou have nothing to worry about,ā he reminds you, and you nod, breathing deeply. āyour family will love me.ā
ācocky.ā thereās no bite to your words.
āyouāre not disagreeing,ā he rubs his thumb over your bottom lip. āweāll go in, iāll sweep them off their feet, iāll sweep you awayāā
you finish for him.
āand no one will know that none of it was ever real.ā
ahhh thank you thank you thank you (x1000) i appreciate your kind words so much,, it makes my day every time i read them <33
also i (once again) accidentally unfollowed you so please expect this to be a regular occurrence - i was never cut out to be a gamer girl u_u
and it has taken me (once again) a million years to respond so i'm sorry for leaving you hanging - i promise i'll get to it faster next time Q_Q
+ a huge ramble under the cut TuT
but i'm glad you asked about tsukishima hehehe >:) i feel like he's not a character that people expect to be one of my favorites but something about him just kind of clicked with me? haikyuu was the first anime that i finished and i went into it not expecting to get so attached to any of the characters, much less someone like tsukishima. i definitely had the same sentiments about him as everyone else, but season 2 was a huge paradigm shift for me and i was able to him from a different perspective - from the context of his trauma, i guess you could say? i have a soft spot for characters that are seemingly apathetic at first but then grow to love what they're doing - it's so rewarding to follow the journey of their growth and character arc!! also i think it's because i see a bit of myself in him - i used to be a really good student and flute player in elementary school but i lost my passion for both those things, not necessarily because of trauma but because i met people that were better than i was, and i think that's one of the factors for tsukishima's attitude as well. he thinks he can never surpass hinata even though the latter is at a disadvantage in terms of height and lack of volleyball experience. however, i'm slowly finding my love for learning and playing the flute again during the pandemic because i'm not surrounded by people who are so intensely passionate and talented 24/7 (nothing wrong with them, it's just that it made everything seem more like a competition rather than an act of love if yk what i mean). anyway, this is really long so i'll just end it here haha :")
as for my wips, i'm in the middle of writing an oikawa fluff drabble because not a single one of my pieces for him has contained pure fluff ;-; whoops
i'm also working on a suna drabble that i made a really cute header for - hopefully i can post it soon just so people can see the header because it is very sexc in my humble opinion and probably the best one i've made so far o.o
there are also two fics that i'm in the middle of writing - a tsukishima hp au and oikawa fic - and i'm kind of stuck on both of them so that's fun :D i get stuck on how to write certain plot points and then i just stop and work on something else so i should probably write a placeholder and then move on to the parts i have planned out so i can get out of my writer's block heheh
anyways this is reaLLY long so please feel free to just skim it over but i hope you're doing well <33 have a great day/night \o/<3<3
no problem!! :) I'm delighted they make your day!! <33
HAHAHHA NO WORRIES!! & again, you don't need to apologize for when/how long it takes you to respond!! it's very sweet šš but take all the time you need! :)
HAHAHHA NEITHER WAS I. CHEERS TO THAT! <3 >:)
mhm!! tsukki was very easy for me to just view as...uninterested in volleyball, especially when contrasted to the rest of the team!! there was such fulfillment in seeing him block ushijimaās spike in season 3, and what it meant...how he felt the feeling bokuto told him about; how he wasĀ āhooked on volleyballā..
(maybe I shed a few tears. like 30.) ;))
ohh, I see! (thank you for telling me this silla :) and yes!! I think tsukishimaās journey from apathy to love for volleyball is a very important perspective to tell? even though itās not the obvious passion that hinata and kageyama display.Ā
yes!! tsukki has been comparing himself to hinata since hinata and kagsā match to get on the karasuno team? he starts out taunting the other side but..thereās a moment where tsukishima actually gets frustrated and (I think) wants to win the match. it was a very subtle way of foreshadowing tsukkiās arc and showing his mentality!Ā
itās wonderful that youāre rediscovering your passion for the flute and for learning! and yes, that totally make sense!! (if I am interpreting what you said correctly!) personally it can be very easy to conflate being good at something with loving it...and at certain levels of proficiency it gets very difficult to separate the two? itās certainly somethingĀ I've felt myself! the...idea that you must be good at something to love it..can really stymie someone imo? loving something, especially as a beginner, doesnāt need to translate as professional level proficiency with that skill!
OOH I see I see! yess HAHA- designing and posting header is so fun >:) the satisfaction is IMMENSE š¼š¼
aaah writerās block is very understandable šš if you like, you donāt have to write in chronological order!! if the ending scene is most vivid to you, write it! :) you donāt need to finish everything else first!
I hope your day is going super well silla! šš stay safe and take care!
a/n: hello! this has been one of the few hq fics Iāve worked on during hiatus :0- though itās the only oneĀ Iāve completed!! a huge thanks to @itadorriā for looking over this for me <33! this is a flashback fromĀ āthe dust (has settled)ā and is a bit of history of what happened between oikawa and y/n!
pairing: oikawa x reader
warnings: arguing, comparisons to/mentions of fire, oikawaās knee injury, crying
pt. 1Ā ā¢Ā pt. 2Ā
His feet slam onto the planks, landing in a way that makes the floor shake.
The volleyball heās just served launches through the air, a rapidly spinning mass of yellow and blue. It collides with the wall and is left bouncing despondently on the hardwood.
He throws the next one- shoes skidding across the tiles again to serve it. It hits the same spot. The resulting crash leaves you reeling, stunned, and frozen in place.
Residue is left on the wall from its point of impact.
Tooru seems to stiffen- seizing yet another ball from the ones piled at his feet and spinning it.
This one still matches the previous serves, and you can feel the sound vertebrate to where youāre leaning against the door. Your sight flickers downward.
You dig your heels into the ground and brace yourself.
The next ball is accompanied by a resounding slam and a trembling inhale.
Tooru moves slower across the court, one of his soles barely brushing the floor. Your vision narrows on him.
He shifts his weight, left leg bearing the brunt of his activity. He limps backwards, settling into position. He canāt wipe the wince off his expression.
(the samples are so appealing!! i cannot use the little perfume ones fast enough HAHA & those little bubble packets...too much for one use but too small to repeatedly use/keep around without getting it dirty-)
