𓆝⋆Tobi⋆𓆞

I'm sad a lot idk I'm an adult

[autisticandevil]

I wish it didn't bother me that Everytime I become best friends with someone and they get a boyfriend I immediately become irrelevant and unimportant compared to a man I've never met, that within a matter of months, somehow proved that I am worthless despite the years I spent creating the friendship.

On top of this I wish my friends would stop pretending that they don't do this and that it's normal. I'm a lesbian, I have been in many relationships, codependency isn't healthy or cute and I'm tired of being the only one holding up the friendship.

Your straight relationship is not an excuse to be a shitty fucking friend, I can have a girlfriend and not ghost people I've known for years.

[autisticandevil]

I love sad paragraph posting at 8 in the morning cause no one's awake and no one cares anyway

[autisticandevil]

there is something deeply isolating about being chronically ill in many ways. I think I miss when people actually liked me, I'm not fully sure anyone does anymore or if they've just known me for so long they don't want to cut me out. I don't see anyone anymore, I don't go anywhere, no one wants to talk to me. I'm just tired of telling people I miss them when I know they could see me and they don't. It's fine I guess, I just didn't think I mattered so little? And the worst part is I can't say anything, I've left these people alone like they want. If I come back now with a why don't you talk to me I'm going to be told I'm the same for getting tired of talking to an empty wall. Posting like a message board in your DMs that your don't even answer barters little self respect. it makes me wonder how much anyone would actually noticed if I died, or if I would just float to the back of people's minds again.

[autisticandevil]

the soul crushing experience of always being different and thus more difficult and time consuming than everyone else so all of your friendships fall to the side because you are too much work or just not important enough compared to other people.

There's never enough time to fit you into someone else's schedule, never enough days in the week, hours in a day, minutes in an hour seconds in a minute. You spend your days off work sitting alone in the center of your room because everyone else has somewhere to be, somewhere they fit into that makes it easier. You go to the doctor.

Your whole life you have floated from group to group desperately trying to sink your hooks into someone, anyone. You reach out, you try to make plans, months in advance, the day of, a few days before. They always fall through with a gritted excuse and a picture posted with someone they like more than you. You slam your hands over your ears because it is easier to not know than to remind yourself there is nothing good enough about you to keep.

You are tired. You can feel it deep in your bones that you aren't built for this, to be alone. Your mind swims with ideas and projects, factoids and tangents, things you want people to care about.

You have another day off you spend sitting alone in the center of your room because everyone else is busy. You go to another doctors appointment, you get bad news. You don't tell anyone because you're scared of dipping into time you know has been divided out for someone else.

Your friends go to the fair, they pity invite you to hang out when they're done.

They never call you.

Everyone is always texting you about how they miss you, but your conversations hold no substance, or truth. These people know nothing about you, but the thought of upsetting them makes you sick. It doesn't matter.

You go to the doctor, you get more bad news, You still don't tell anyone.

[autisticandevil]

guess who's back as a legal adult with a drug problem

[fairycosmos]

basically i really wish the situation was different

[ilovethatlilfuckedupblondkid]

Teaching their son's boyfriend how to cook for them: Laura and Richard

[autisticandevil]

the masses are not ready to learn about my two hour shower + post shower routine

[schistcity]

in elden ring there are two types of boss; "beautiful" and "wet". if you're a beautiful boss your name is something like melinar the crimson spear or gondwana the gleaming and you're rocking an 80 inch pin-straight middle-parted wig. if you're a wet boss your name is randal reamtaint the revolting or lord giger groundstooth of the death brigade and you're built like a small- to medium-sized airplane in every direction. in both cases you are welsh.

[onlinegf2-deactivated20160818]

why did my neighbors name their wifi network this

[biggaybunny]

what’s the point of having a wifi network and not naming it something like this

[laropasucia]

Oh the fun you can have with network naming…

…

[omnipotentoverlord-deactivated2]

This is my joy.

[thoughtfulfuri]

This made me look at networks near me and: 

[11032025-deactivated20251104]

[some-pers0n]

How it feels being a little hater with your friends in private spaces and never actually going out of your way to harass or bully anyone

[lun4cat]

please, please help, they're going everywhere

[autisticandevil]

i really miss my weird friends i'm tired of drugs

[autisticandevil]

writing an essay on self control and then buying drugs because i am well adjusted

[redstonedust]

big fan of characters who look cool and tough and stoic but only because theyre internally thinking "fuckkk what do i say. how do i make friends. they didnt teach me how to do that in sword school."

[ttechniic]

i do not "queue". i do not use "peak posting times". i do not "stagger" my art. i post it and then bury it myself. and if it doesnt get notes? i rb it again