Autistic Kwame @autistickwame - Tumblr Blog

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(via https://open.spotify.com/track/7E3rc13GL2I5wA6CIFXaxs)

sattickate

I am not a straight people.

Reblog if you are also not a straight people.

#so queued

daifei

day 7-12: traveler 2/3

theartofanimation

Nichole and Kelly Matthews - https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/449341764/creature-feature-vol-1 - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nichole-kelly-matthews-76317259 - http://tinfishworks.tumblr.com - https://twitter.com/kickingshoes - http://kickingshoes.tumblr.com - https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/kickingshoes - https://www.etsy.com/people/kickingshoes - https://society6.com/kickingshoes

#so queued

identitypollution

I made some spooky motivational art to remind you that even though it doesn’t always feel like it, you are going to kick this in the metaphorical ass.

#so queued

greelin

buying ppl things is SUCH a rush.. even if it’s just like.. a bag of their favorite chips or whatever.. the thought of someone experincing even a split-second burst of happiness bc they didn’t expect to get some of their favorite chips that day? what a thrill! love it

#so queued #relatable feels

look with your heart

by Denny Bitte

To whom it may concern.

A private letter.

[Contains possibly upsetting text.]

It is too late for me for I am broken beyond repair. There is still hope for the rest of you. Don't look at what I've done to convince yourself to do the same. I've been there. After Jenn hung herself that April in the quiet hours of the morning... I thought maybe she was right; it was no use fighting my inevitable fate -- consumed by an inner darkness that spreads like fire. But like I had to... Make your own decision, and make it for yourself and your own reasons.

Today I woke up feeling the weight of having a body that could never be neutral or 'normal' or something that was worth love and genuine attraction and not objectification. And a body that is broken by trauma, not only psychologically, but physically. I realize I am so conditioned to this that I cannot become a vessel for love.

My spirit does not know how to be moved by real love or real connection anymore, for I am not sure what that looks or feels like anymore. What I've always been told and learned was love turns out maybe was not entirely truth. I don't even know how to love properly. I'm sure I've suffered many heartbreaks due to this.

Moving through grey days and a hazy daze of daily dissociation leaves me a shell of someone who I think I used to know. I don't know that person anymore. I think they died a long time ago maybe. Or recently.

For now I am but a vessel of trauma. Every morning I wake up from night terrors that sleep paralysis determines I must repeat a few more times before I can wake up and remember where and what I am. I wake up exhausted, having just lived out all my trauma all over again.

And then I begin my day depending on how much money I have access to:

With or without my antidepressant, ptsd, and anxiety medicine; with or without soap and toothpaste and shampoo and conditioner; with or without a single meal for the rest of the day; with or without my hormones; with or without the physical ability to get up; with or without the psychological will to live.

I work from 6am to 1am most days, sometimes longer. Coping with my lack of control over my existence and body by being a workaholic to stride towards a fulfilling future. Or any future at all. Yet the cycle of poverty that a lot of mentally and physically disabled black transsexuals like myself can't break out of. Not that poverty was engineered to get out of anyway. The future looks dark, for I am much too tired and weary from scaling a mountain that gets 6 feet taller everytime I manage to climb 2.

I want to remind you all that this is my choice. No words will fix the 24 years of trauma this body and mind have experienced. Please do not call the hospital, for their treatment (and neglect) of me was and is far more traumatizing than death and far more punishing than failure. Please do not worry about me. I am bad with goodbyes, so this is the best I could know how to do. But I love all of you who have touched my heart and soul. That will never die.

#cw sui #sui note #autonomy #disabled queer #qtpoc #me

I feel so hopeless.

Realizing I'll only receive love/affection thru fetishization + objectification. If I wasn't a transexual, would I find happiness?

fuckyeahwomenprotesting

How to tell if you are emotionally abusive

I feel we talk about signs of abuse from the victims standpoint but not from the abusers standpoint. In order to stop emotional abuse and recognize when we engage in unhealthy behaviors I made this list.

Do you react to important people in your life by ignoring them completely and not acknowledging their presence? Especially if they do something you don’t like?

Do you feel that your partner/friends/family members are the cause of your bad moods or frustration?

Does your partner/etc “do things the wrong way”?

Do criticize your partner/etc for being unreliable or a bad person?

Do you feel you have to constantly overlook your partners flaws in order to be around them?

Are you frequently accused of being “moody” or “hard to please”?

Do your partners complain that “nothing they do is good enough?

Do your partners appear to avoid you when you are angry or upset rather then comfort you?

Do you negatively comment on their intelligence or appearence? Either in private or in front of others.

Do you blame them when someone goes wrong?

Do you ever use phrases like “I could just hit you right now” or “I”m so mad I could punch something”?

Do you ever punch walls/throw things in front of your partner/etc?

Do you leave during fights and not inform of where you are going and when you will be back?

Do you behave the same alone with your partner that you do if you were in front of your friends or in public?

Have you frequently accused your partner of being too sensitive?

How often is your partner praised and complimented by yourself?

Do you think your partner spends too much time with friends and family?

Do you feel your partners friends and family are trying to drive you apart?

Do you actively comfort your partner when they are upset or angry even if you don’t really understand why they feel the way they do?

If your partner brings up a behavior that bothers them do you respond by discussing how to change it or do you respond defensively?

Do you have difficulty apologizing?

All of these things are abuse tactics. Obviously even the healthiest of us will do these sometimes but if any one becomes a regular habit that’s when the problem starts.

annnmoody

this is super important, i feel like this website makes it easy to put yourself in the role of the victim but never the abuser. It’s also important to note that being a victim does not preclude you from being an abuser.

lora-mathis

I find this esp. important. I’ve exhibited some of these behaviors. I know abuse perpetuates abuse and that victims of abuse learn abusive behavior. I also know that having mental illness can make reacting and dealing with feelings even more difficult. That being said: being mentally ill does not mean you cannot be held accountable for your actions. Nor does being a survivor of abuse. I gotta take care of myself & heal and recognize how trauma and mental illness plays a role in how I treat others. Being a victim doesn’t mean you cannot be an abuser too.

elizabethalexis

this is the most important post on this website.

alexaunderground

Thank you for this.

thecoggs

So apparently last year the National Park Service in the US dropped an over 1200 page study of LGBTQ American History as part of their Who We Are program which includes studies on African-American history, Latino history, and Indigenous history.

Like. This is awesome. But also it feels very surreal that maybe one of the most comprehensive examinations of LGBTQ history in America (it covers sports! art! race! historical sites! health! cities!) was just casually done by the parks service.

tarastarr1

This is really great??

Chapter 1: Prologue: Why LGBTQ Historic Sites Matter by Mark Meinke

Chapter 2: Introduction to the LGBTQ Heritage Initiative Theme Study by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 3: Introduction to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) History in the United States by Leisa Meyer and Helis Sikk

Chapter 4: The History of Queer History: One Hundred Years of the Search for Shared Heritage by Gerard Koskovich

Chapter 5: The Preservation of LGBTQ Heritage by Gail Dubrow

Chapter 6: LGBTQ Archeological Context by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 7: A Note about Intersectionality by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 8: Making Bisexuals Visible by Loraine Hutchins

Chapter 9: Sexual and Gender Diversity in Native America and the Pacific Islands by Will Roscoe

Chapter 10: Transgender History in the US and the Places that Matter by Susan Stryker

Chapter 11: Breathing Fire: Remembering Asian Pacific American Activism in Queer History by Amy Sueyoshi

Chapter 12: Latina/o Gender and Sexuality by Deena J. González and Ellie D. Hernandez

Chapter 13: “Where We Could Be Ourselves”: African American LGBTQ Historic Places and Why They Matter by Jeffrey A. Harris

Chapter 14: LGBTQ Spaces and Places by Jen Jack Gieseking

Chapter 15: Making Community: The Places and Spaces of LGBTQ Collective Identity Formation by Christina B. Hanhardt

Chapter 16: LGBTQ Business and Commerce by David K. Johnson

Chapter 17: Sex, Love, and Relationships by Tracy Baim

Chapter 18: LGBTQ Civil Rights in America by Megan E. Springate

Chapter 19: Historical Landmarks and Landscapes of LGBTQ Law by Marc Stein

Chapter 20: LGBTQ Military Service by Steve Estes

Chapter 21: Struggles in Body and Spirit: Religion and LGBTQ People in US History by Drew Bourn

Chapter 22: LGBTQ and Health by Katie Batza

Chapter 23: LGBTQ Art and Artists by Tara Burk

Chapter 24: LGBTQ Sport and Leisure by Katherine Schweighofer

Chapter 25: San Francisco: Placing LGBTQ Histories in the City by the Bay by Donna J. Graves and Shayne E. Watson

Chapter 26: Preservation of LGBTQ Historic & Cultural Sites – A New York City Perspective by Jay Shockley

Chapter 27: Locating Miami’s Queer History by Julio Capó, Jr.

Chapter 28: Queerest Little City in the World: LGBTQ Reno by John Jeffrey Auer IV

Chapter 29: Chicago: Queer Histories at the Crossroads of America by Jessica Herczeg-Konecny

Chapter 30: Nominating LGBTQ Places to the National Register of Historic Places and as National Historic Landmarks: An Introduction by Megan E. Springate and Caridad de la Vega

Chapter 31: Interpreting LGBTQ Historic Sites by Susan Ferentinos

Chapter 32: Teaching LGBTQ History and Heritage by Leila J. Rupp

internationalbatofmystery-deact

I encourage you to all document this and back it up. Protect our history.

sworntovalor

Here’s a “life-hack” for you. Apparently concentrated Kool-Aid can be used as a pretty effective leather dye. I was making a drink while cutting the snaps off some new straps for my pauldrons and I got curious, so I tried it, thinking, “ok even if this works, it will just wash out.” Nope. It took the “dye” (undiluted) in about 3 seconds. After drying for about an hour and a half, it would not wash off in the hottest tap-water. It would not wash out after soaking for 30 minutes. It did not wash out until I BOILED it, and even then, only by a tiny bit and it gave it a weathered look that was kind of cool. Add some waterproofing and I’d wager it would survive even that. That rich red is only one application too. Plus it smells great, lol. So there you go, cheap, fruity smelling leather dye in all the colors Kool-Aid has to offer.

hammerhide

WELL THEN!

pomegranateandivy-deactivated20

this may be important to some of my followers *and certainly not just getting reblogged because of my costuming and my boyfriends desire for leather armor*

armeleia

When I was in middle school we used to use it to dye our hair. Potent stuff.

baedlyweathered

If you’re dying anything with kool-aid it’s best to use SUGAR-FREE ones otherwise the thing you’re dying might get all sticky

samthor

the flavor only packets where you are supposed add sugar are the best. they will dye any natural fiber: leather, wool, cotton, hair, flax, jute, silk and so forth. heat the dye water so it is more potent. let dry then rinse excess out in cold water. there’s a whole system to this.