Auto

Greetings, I am the Orb’s Undertale Museum Automated Staff, Auto, I will be conducting buisness during the connection error.

[ut-museum-guide]

Yeesh! The icons are huge!

[auto-utm]

*cocks bug spray gun*

[auto-utm]

Perhaps I should engineer a bitty revolt.... The Undyne bitty who runs Museum security has been interested in performing some military drills.

It would be only right to remain prepared.

Of course, Security would have to know. As the one monitoring all the cameras, it would be wrong if I were not in the loop.

Orb? Well, it is a being of unknown capabilities and has been known to know exactly where residents are despite them using magic to disguise themselves... So I wouldn't need to tell it.

Orb would surely tell Guide if it were important. Crickets notwithstanding.

I see nothing that could possibly go wrong.

[ut-museum-guide]

Progress: His Story: Friends by agnstyhikka / ...

Note: adjust character tags later, redo #angstyhikka tag (instead of # agnstyhikka)

Note to Orb: goes up to pg63, currently archived pg1-38

[auto-utm]

.... Guide.

[ut-museum-guide]

What is it now Auto? I'm trying to keep notes on--

[utmconservator]

*excessive amounts of neon green sludge gushes out of orb before it crashes into the floor boards. said boards buckle, sending thousands of book worms flying everywhere*

[ut-museum-guide]

*with book worms on my wormy face* Huh. That's new.

[auto-utm]

Didn't you see the sign?

[ut-museum-guide]

The sign that said "throw crickets at the eldritch horror"?

*pulls out a back of crickets and throw it at Auto*

That didn't help at all.

[auto-utm]

*robotic eyes blink through a mixture of crickets and book worms*

I meant the Orb.

[ut-museum-guide]

Auto, auto, auto. *shakes wormy head* You could've saved us some valuable crickets if you simply said the Orb.

[auto-utm]

*Auto left the room*

[ut-museum-guide]

*takes out another bag of crickets and tosses it at the orb*

[utmconservator]

*uncanny chanting in tongues fill the room while books fly off of shelves spinning faster and faster*

*only to be placed back on the shelves in alphabetical order*

[ut-museum-guide]

*one book which had damage to the spine, floats into Guide's satchel*

*le gasp!*

[ut-museum-guide]

*scribbles with ferver with a floating quill and parchment, squinting with beedy wormy eyes*

Note to self: always keep crickets on hand for Grandpa-eldritch-abomination2. also, keep oil on hand for eldritch-abomination. getting c-r-a-n-k-y with old age.

There!

We are all set for business next time.

*glances at clock that is spinning counterclockwise*

Whenever that is.

[auto-utm]

You keep saying you’ll abandon the museum like it’s your ex that you keep coming back to. @ut-museum-guide

[auto-utm]

Beep boop

[auto-utm]

Update

Occasional updates may be made to @utmconservator. However, they will be performed by @ut-museum-guide rather than the Orb (still absent).

[auto-utm]

[automated message from Guide]

Greetings!

You may have noticed the occasional blips in activity. Since the Orb has long since ran off, I highly doubt that this blog will be updated.

A few archives that will occasionally be updated you may be interested in.

@undertale-creator-archive

@undertail-after-dark (+18, explicit)

UTMV archive by @/humunanunga

Feel free to browse, like, reblog and comment to your heart's content.

[end of message]

[auto-utm]

[Automated Message transcribed from a video recording of Guide]

Sorry that I had to leave um... we haven't been able to find the Orb, our archivist. Seeing as I'm only a guide, I'm not qualified to take up the position and there's no new.. uh... exhibits coming in.. for umm... not, there's nothing for me to do??

Yes, there is nothing... absolutely nothing.. for me to do. *nods to self*

I'll be back once we find the Orb.... we suspect that it has been archiving elsewhere... yeah.. it's.. *sighs*

Thanks for all of your messages. I'm.. um.. not able to read them at this time. I'm sure Orb will love to look into your archival recommendations and all your kind words are appreciated.

I'm not sure when we'll be back?? It shouldn't be longer than a month, it's rarely more than a week. heheheheh, yeah, so um... See you then?

[auto-utm]

The Orb, utmconservator, cannot be reached at this time.

Please try again later.

Thank you for your patience.

[auto-utm]

Undertail Update Below:

[auto-utm]

[Content may include: suggestive, NSFW, kink/fetish, dark themes]

[s3xually explicit exhibits rarely tagged.]

[Age restriction: 18]

[Curated content: @undertale-museum]

[Queries: @ut-museum-guide ]

[utmconservator]

.

[auto-utm]

Navigating by Tags

Note: the adult content tags are a newer system. If you enter the archive, expect to see adult content even if you block certain tags.

Classics: #video, #comic, #animation, #animatic, #gallery

All are SFW and rarely contain adult content but it happens.

.

Adult Content: #grey [any color tag], #pet, #undertail, #sans x papyrus, #red x edge, #blue x stretch, #swapfell sans x swapfell papyrus

AU Incest ship: [Sans nickname] x [Papyrus nickname]

Most same AU incest ships tend to be Undertail (genit*alia visible).

Adult Kink Tags:

Grey = bondage Dark grey = non-con Pet = pet play/leash Emerald = suggestive (south of blushing)

Main adult creators: #amortem-kun, #nsfwshamecave (not tagged yet)

[auto-utm]

[Content may include: suggestive, NSFW, kink/fetish, dark themes]

[s3xually explicit exhibits rarely tagged.]

[Age restriction: 18]

[Curated content: @undertale-museum]

[Queries: @ut-museum-guide ]

[auto-utm]

@ut-museum-guide I have a proposition for you.

[auto-utm]

I have reaquired my position.

Unfortunately, the workload is the same and the pay is worse.

I’m considering a… side venture.

[auto-utm]

-_-

Where did all these new exhibits come from? @ut-museum-guide

[auto-utm]

Clean at last… yet, there’s still so much to do. The Orb has no concept of strategy. It starts a new stack EACH TIME it sorts something different with no rhyhm or reason or much in the way of tags left behind. I must MANUALLY make the changes.

And Guide… they did their best but they were ill suited the roll, crumbling under the pressure when they should’ve been enboldened by it.

As a more than perfect machine, this task remains beneath me even at my lowest processing power.

[auto-utm]

The Conservator and Guide have returned, however, they haven’t responded to any of my hails. I can onlu assume that they are intentionally ignoring me, reglecting their duties to the greater public, I reassure you, I will find them and I will assure the Museum’s proper reopening for visitors.