Avery didn’t really know where to begin with this conversation with Ava; he felt like there was so much he needed to tell her and not enough time to get it all out. Given that he was a pack leader and therefore responsible for making sure that everyone under him was taken care of properly, he didn’t…get the chance to socialize with many other werewolves very often; he loved those under his charge, of course, but it was like a familial love. He didn’t go out drinking with them or sit around having dinner parties with his friends and their lovers—those were activities that only those with less responsibility and obligations as him were granted. He almost felt like he was stuck on a different planet from the rest of them; like he was surrounded by duty and honor and all the other bullshit that occasionally came along with his title as an alpha. God…he couldn’t even manage to remember the last time he’d allowed himself a night out just to have a beer or two and talk to a friend.
That was where Ava came in. The two might have shared a…physically intimate past with one another, and they might have drifted apart and stopped speaking with one another as much after Avery aligned himself with the humans (he knew she disapproved of it; he could feel it in his gut), but…she was still the closest thing to a confidant he had. He trusted Ava in ways that couldn’t be explained, and though the conversation topic might be a bit awkward given their past together, he could think of no one else to go to about it.
No one who would even attempt to understand, at least.
He was afraid at first, actually, that she’d turn him away; after all, they hadn’t exactly been on the…friendliest of terms with one another in the past few months. He didn’t blame Ava if she felt slightly anxious about joining sides with the humans; after all, she’d been one once and after she was bitten, the lot of them decided to turn their backs on her. It was utterly disgraceful and horrifying, and Avery could understand why his friend, pack mate, and former lover would be hesitant to place her name next to a species that had scorned her for being changed into something other than human. He understood all of this—all of her potential hesitancy and aversion—but he didn’t think her disgust for what they had done should have completely blurred the line for her between what was right and what was wrong. Avery wasn’t a fool; he saw prejudice everywhere he looked. He saw prejudice for how he’d obtained his position; for his species; for his race. He saw prejudice everywhere he looked…but at the end of the day, he still knew the difference between what was right and what was wrong. Why didn’t Ava seem to?
He sighed in relief when Ava chose instead to provide him with a beer (per his request), opening herself up to conversation. For whatever their differences were, she was still his friend…that was good to know.Â
"Thanks," he said quietly, trying to force himself to remain upbeat (which was easier said than done, given the circumstances). He reached for his mug, taking a sip of his beer and relishing in the dark, delicious flavor of it. Licking the froth from his lips, he sighed heavily and directed his attention back towards Ava. He could only put this conversation off for so long, after all.
"…I did something; I think I really fucked up," he continued, his voice quiet and pained. He dragged his finger along the rim of his mug, staring into the dark liquid and attempting to collect his thoughts. Grunting in aggravation, Avery lifted his eyes to lock onto Ava’s, scanning her face and trying to predict how she’d take the news. "The night of the masquerade ball…I slept with a human. An eighteen year old human.”
