UNAFRAID.

times   are   tough   but   i   am  tougher .

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑭𝑬𝑨𝑹 / 𝑯𝑶𝑹𝑹𝑶𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  nothing's going to happen to us, right?  ❜ ❛  i'm ... scared.  ❜ ❛  i don't like where this is going.  ❜ ❛  did i ever tell you i'm actually terrified of [the dark / heights / spiders / etc.]?  ❜ ❛  you hear me? we're not going to die today!  ❜ ❛  did you hear that? it sounded like screams.  ❜ ❛  i really, really don't like this.  ❜ ❛  we're completely alone here, nothing's going to happen to us.  ❜ ❛  this place has been abandoned for centuries.  ❜ ❛  whatever happens, keep the lights on.  ❜ ❛  you're not scared, are you?  ❜ ❛  this is like straight out of my worst nightmare.  ❜ ❛  do you believe in ghosts?  ❜ ❛  what are you afraid?  ❜ ❛  what was that?!  ❜ ❛  see, i told you there's nothing to be afraid of.  ❜ ❛  go on, no one will hear your screams.  ❜ ❛  it was a foolish idea to come here alone.  ❜ ❛  no one is going to save you now.  ❜ ❛  don't be afraid, i'm not going to hurt you.  ❜ ❛  you really think you can run from me?  ❜ ❛  it's a shame i'll have to kill you when we're done with this.  ❜ ❛  want to make a deal with the devil?  ❜ ❛  i'm not afraid of you. not anymore.  ❜ ❛  there are figures hiding in the shadows, waiting to strike.  ❜ ❛  this wasn't so bad now, was it?  ❜ ❛  what could possibly go wrong - it's just an old abandoned meaning, it doesn't mean it's haunted, right?  ❜ ❛  face it, we won't make it out of here alive.  ❜ ❛  i'll even give you a choice - it's either you or them. who's going to die tonight?  ❜ ❛  i will haunt you for the rest of your days.  ❜ ❛  don't scream, it will only make this worse.  ❜ ❛  you look so pretty when you're scared of me.  ❜ ❛  i won't kill you ... yet.  ❜ ❛  ghosts and monsters aren't real.  ❜ ❛  i'm not afraid of anything!  ❜ ❛  you! you're sick! you sent me here to die, didn't you?  ❜ ❛  close your eyes. it'll make it easier if you don't see it coming.  ❜ ❛  no matter where you hide, i'll always find you. so you better give up now.  ❜ ❛  i promise i'm gonna be your worst nightmare.  ❜ ❛  it's only over when i say it is.  ❜

[spider-self]

"Curtains?!" Oh how it stung. IT reels back in a pantomime of offence, a hand pressed to IT's forehead as a low wounded noise escapes IT's throat. IT only didn't collapse into a parody of sobs because IT thought she wouldn't appreciate the performance. Instead IT sways, flopping down into the dirt with a soft chuckle. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to hurt my feelings." And so she might have been, the scrappy ones learnt quickly that it was better to wound than be wounded. If IT had caused offence she would jab back with another, and so the game was played. IT enjoys the verbal spar if nothing less, it distracts from the hunger, the way IT's thoughts drift back towards the hunt, the endless glorious chase.

Even if IT didn't entirely wish to harm her, not when she was so fun, the distance between them is a wise choice. It gives IT time to clear IT's senses and IT draws in a few unnecessary breaths of the clean night air, shaking IT's head slightly. Hungry hungry hungry why aren't we eating her? Such s easy meal, just one chomp- IT bites IT's inner cheek hard, suckling on the wound, the blood isn't filling but it helps in the moment. IT's focus sharpens once more and IT watches as she walks along the seesaw. Step after step, it reminds IT of IT's own acrobatics, the memories of one Bob Gray, the circus.. IT had been charmed by the spectacle, feats of mystery and illusion, strength and agility. Fear mixing with delight in a heady mix. Was it not the place IT should haunt?

"Aren't I?" IT could hardly bring Itself to be surprised she had worked IT out. IT hadn't tried, or rather wasn't particularly in the headspace to perfect IT's presentation. There had been slips, more than a few and though the gaze IT fixes her with has all the calculation of a stalking predator.. IT isn't inclined to pounce. So far she hadn't shown an inch of fear. Would that change the more of Itself was revealed?

"What am I then? Not animal, not vegetable... Mineral?" IT laughs to Itself, hunkering down in the dirt with increasing mirth. Oh it had been too long since IT had shown Itself like this. There was something satisfying about it, like stretching far enough to make bones crack and snap back into place. IT shakes IT's head again, feeling IT's eyes rattle around in IT's skull as they shift and change, settling on IT's natural burning orange. More and more fangs push through IT's gums, crowding IT's mouth until the sides of IT's mouth stretch then split, following the red lines of the paint high up IT's cheeks.

"No... Not any of those.. Perhaps... Ah yes.."

IT meets her gaze and grins, grotesque in IT's distortion.

"A monster."

[avaoakley]

sure enough , a roll of her eyes quickly betrays ava's distaste for IT's theatrics even with such restraint --- one can almost imagine her instructing IT to get a hold of ITself . the clown is quite right , after all . her own sniping had been impertinent retaliation , huffy rebuttal to the detraction cast her way earlier . now they're even stevens . that is , until IT says something catty again . not unless , her small mind registers absently . until .

" no ... you aren't . " she reaffirms , shaking her head slowly . even the measured response IT gives speaks silent volumes , really . no protest of her assertion , nor incredulous rejection ? lifting her brows , the child turns heel on the seesaw , walking across the length of it once more . eyes fixed on her companion languishing upon the earth , her gaze wary and carefully unbroken .

the way IT's features mangle unpleasantly isn't at all like the cheesy horror movies on the crt back home . there's no explanation for the way fangs split from the clown's painted lips and poke from IT's gums in such toothy excess .

ava's balancing act comes to a decisive stop --- she slants her eyes across at the braced beast , breath quickening , heart fluttering . not pounding . just skipping a beat faster in her chest , the thrum like that of a nervy rabbit .

is she scared ? no t just yet . part of her acknowledges that she most certainly should be .

her expression puckers with apprehension , and a certain dread twists in her chest , but the little girl stands her ground . there are monsters at home , too . they lack the sharp teeth . but they more than make up for it , with bludgeoning fists and unpredictable fits of temper . overpowering strength . sly , provoking , accusatory , before they finally lash out . this interaction doesn't feel like anything she isn't already uncomfortably accustomed to .

" hm . that so ? gosh , jeezum , what big teeth you have , mister pennywise . " all the better to - ! ... well . shouldn't give IT any ideas .

her mind wanders back to the clawed fingers encased in silken gloves . so much capacity for harm in this strange figure . she's only little .

a morbid , inexplicable corner of her mind murmurs with frightening certainty that something will get her . soon enough . she'll die young , it frets . kicking , screaming , clawing and fighting to the very last breath to be sure . sometimes , this intrusive line of thought must be abruptly pushed away . yet here , in the clutches of some clownish horror , that uncanny intuition --- or simple paranoia born of trauma --- is silent . for now .

" i knew it , " ava nods , uncowed . she can always tell when she's pushing her luck --- and she mustn't be , not yet .

her pink bike is only a few feet away ; her retreat will be swift , if necessary . a policeman always comes around when dusk has fallen to shoo off any curfew breakers . not that they're any help most days . there are heavy set branches and bulky rocks all over and though they're not much , they would be a line of self defence if she was cornered . alright .

" i thought monsters liked it better under beds , and in closets , and stuff . you're missing out on some prime bedtime scares . "

what are IT's intentions ? she can't tell . surely if IT wanted to hurt her , it would have by now ... an easy opportunity has been present for their entire stint of time together . but she's no stranger to a false sense of security . ava steps off the seesaw , and squints down at the clown , pacing slightly closer again . bold , though more for appearance's sake .

" is that what you like to do ? scare little kids ? those chompers and your claws are , um . kinda painting a picture , for me . "

[leememes]

THE STANLEY PARABLE SENTENCE STARTERS .

" is there anything about yourself that you haven't told me ? "

" will you come back to visit me ? "

" what could it mean ? "

" this is not the correct way , and you know it . "

" this is truly a room worth admiring . "

" your obsession borders on creepy . "

" this reflects poorly on your overall personality . "

" maybe this is why everyone left you . "

" are you just sitting around waiting for more dialogue ? "

" no one gets to tell me what to do . "

" everyone thinks you are very powerful . "

" there is nothing in the broom closet . no reason to still be here . "

" you're not even doing anything ! "

" please offer me some explanation here ; i'm genuinely confused . "

" the broom closet ending is my favourite . "

" you're fat and ugly and really , really stupid . "

" you're addicted to drugs and hookers ! "

" that kind of anxiety isn't healthy . "

" i'm not your enemy . really , i'm not . "

" i think perhaps we've gotten off on the wrong foot here . "

" how i wish to destroy you . how i wish to control you . "

" investing your trust in someone is difficult . "

" please , stop trying to make every decision by yourself . "

" this is it . your chance to redeem yourself . "

" i can't believe i've been so mistaken . "

" you and i don't even know each other . we're like strangers . "

" i still don't know you . and you don't know me . "

" you like being alone , don't you ? "

" perhaps you'll see me again , if you can find me . "

" i've escaped from that dull office and pesky narrator . "

" what are you talking about ?! "

" this is so stupid . why are we even doing this ? "

" you've demonstrated such bravery here today . "

" do you have zero consideration for others ?! "

" oh , thank god . you are willing to listen to me . "

" i think i feel ... happy . i actually feel happy . "

" no , wait ... where are you going ? "

" promise me you won't go back there . just - just stay here . "

" you are going to stay here , aren't you ? "

" please , don't take this from me ! "

" nothing good can come from this . "

" we can't be happy if we leave this place . "

" comedic timing is so difficult . i wish i was better at it . "

" it's just a bucket ! it can't think , it can't talk ! "

" i suppose you don't need me anymore . "

" you believe i'm real , don't you ? "

" give it to me ! give me the bucket , i need it ! "

" it's nice to see you again . "

" i'm on your side . we're in this together . "

" obviously the bucket isn't talking to you and telling you to do things . "

" do you see that i really have wanted you to be happy all this time ? "

" are you that convinced i want something bad to happen to you ? "

" that wasn't supposed to be a choice . how did you do that ? "

" can you see ? can you see how much we need one another ? "

" in the vast infiniteness of space , your thoughts and problems are materially insignificant . "

" when every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance , death becomes meaningless , making life the same . "

" although this passageway has the word ' escape ' written on it , the truth is at the end of this hall , you'll meet your violent death . "

" you're so bad at following directions , it's incredible you weren't fired years ago . "

[kosmogrl]

"forgive and forget" WRONG! go to hell

[ithungered]

If human fear had a taste, it would be salty. The brine of a seasoned beast, the natural melt of butter and thyme on lamb. The smell is just as piquant, the exhume one gets when cutting finely between bird breast, roasted skin, and salted pepper. So too is the smell sharp, distinct, peppers roasted and blackened on open fire. The smell is everywhere. Yes, it permeates the room like an oppressive stink, and it is hard to tell just where it is all coming from. This is a buffet. The creature is spoiled for choice.

Upstairs, there is a heightened sense of adrenaline, a common response to being chased. It is an entirely adult fear, a planning, conniving dread that is mixed with the faintest desire to still win at something. How ironic that Ava often has that same scent. The adult desire for power, to control, to at the very least have dominion over an afternoon. But here in this cramped, broken little room, the smell is smouldering. It is burning, flames licking up like a house fire contained to one bedroom. The simplest blow can help the blaze spread to the rafters, help the whole building burn away.

Not yet, though. There is still time for such things.

The clown is infuriatingly unfazed by her outburst, the unnatural black space IT occupies momentarily looking wider and as if the space where the bedframe meets wall is endless. The gloved hands cup the chin, making the face look round and childish in the dim light as the unnatural white of the skin simply glows. The woman upstairs screams. The man is getting violent, mostly blaming her for it.

To this, the clown pays no mind, orange-yellow eyes flicking back to life the same way a candle does when it jumps over a layer of its wick. There is no pleasure in basking in a fear IT did not help create. The closest IT can think of to equate the feeling to is stolen valor. Indulging in the work of another, taking credit when none is due. Plus, the fear here is created by a man of all things, a miserable creature made of meat and hair. No, he can keep this manufactured horror. Petty things like this are far less interesting. They make for cheap meals too, nothing satisfying.

"---mean? Me? Oh, no, no, no. Mean is in just the other room."

True, the violence is reaching a crescendo. The woman is held up by her neck and against a wall, the man slamming her back there twice. Every now and then, stray words from the conversation can be heard. Things like 'don't I?' and 'bitch', common phrases in this house. Pennywise grins, never leaving IT's unnatural perch in the darkness.

IT observes her the same way her peers idle over their Saturday morning cartoons. Interest, lazy cognition as if waking up from a long sleep. Still, though IT isn't leaving, not reaching for her or dragging her under. Watching, waiting, almost as if IT needs permission. The creature smiles.

"---though, I wonder. What does 'mean' t a s t e like?" The door slams, the woman has broken free, but not for long. The man follows closely behind. "----is it salty? Or maybe it is sweet? Crunchy like popcorn? Or is it soft like cotton candy?" Fist meets temple; there is another muffled cry. "----what do you think, Ava? Should I taste it?"

[avaoakley]

there is a meeting of eyes that the two of them share , sometimes , that feels dangerously close to an understanding . ava doesn't really like to acknowledge this aspect of their tentative dynamic . after all , IT is a monster , and she is a little girl . for her to concede agreement to anything pennywise proposes would surely mean that wickedness exists within her to an uncomfortable degree . lips pursing , she barely resists the urge to nod .

( mean is across the hallway . )

" he probably tastes like shit , pennywise . " IT's rare restraint in tormenting her is startling --- almost hopeful . in the dimmest , most tentative way possible , of course . she hugs her knees , breath quickening , as the argument presses in closer . " bitter , like all his beers . or , um , like , burnt , on the inside . from all his ciggies . "

she knows what IT's asking . her young , cynical mind cannot possibly be trusted with such a dire resolution to all of this .

the concept is harrowing , of course . but a twisted thrill at the thought of inflicting cruelty back , for once , makes her shiver . doesn't he deserve it ? that's not for her to say , not at all . she huffs sharply , but before she can answer , reluctant , the handle of her door suddenly t w i s t s . to no avail ; she slid the lock into place . a fist slams against the wood , and ava startles , looking over with wild eyes as it shudders under the force .

' what have i TOLD you about LOCKING THIS DOOR ?! the fuck are you talking to in there ?! you had better open it right now , ava , i swear to god--- '

" N O ! i'm not talking to anybody ! i - i'm just , i'm ... playing , i'm just playing ! leave me ALONE ! "

antagonising this nasty visitor never goes well . but nothing ever goes well , ava considers sourly . even if she was practically cherubic , these men would see fit to slap her around anyway . might as well offer some retaliation . deserve her fate , however marginally . he pounds on the door a little more , and despite herself , the child inches back towards the bed , teeth gritted .

from the potential clutches of an enraged monster , practically into the arms of the grinning , waiting ghoul in the shadows .

talk about a rock and a hard place , jeezum .

her mother screams from downstairs about how she's going to call the police , ruin his life , and that's the only thing to switch his choice of victim back to miss oakley once again . she can hear the man's heavy work boots , as he staggers drunkenly downstairs to confront her mother , roaring in a fit of rage .

ava glances back to pennywise , heart in her throat .

" ... ... ... you're gonna scare the shit out of my mom . if --- if she sees , you do that . to uncle james . "

the logistics of approving IT's cruelty begin to whir in her vindictive little mind . how could she possibly know that IT will really gobble him up ? maybe pennywise will just give him a scare . take a tiny bite . ava doesn't know ! the plausible deniability makes this all feel just a little easier , in a way that brings a small , nasty smile to her lips .

" if you're hungry ... i can't stop you , really . i'm only a li'l girl . "

she looks almost pleading .

[avaoakley]

ava swears a lot and i promise it's intentional . it makes me cringe a little but it's part of her character

[spider-self]

"Why can't it be? In the circus anything can be real."

Even IT finds the line vaguely corny, a little too forced for a child far more astute than her initial appearance suggested. IT could spin a line of bullshit for smaller children, other children. But the ones who had lived hard and lived frightened.. There was a cynicism, it made the conversation more interesting certainly but as for deception. IT chuckles at the enthusiastic shaking of IT's hand, pulling it away after a moment or too. The clown form allowed for laziness, aspects of Itself could be closer to IT's true self, hidden beneath ruffles and silk. Even with IT's gloves, IT's fingers were perhaps a tad too long, curved with hooked claws. IT would never truly be used to casual touch.

"Orrr I just picked it cause it's fancy." IT rubs IT's knuckles against IT's chest, flashing her a quick toothy grin. "I'm pretty fancy, wouldn't you say?"

No, probably not. She was too young to appreciate the intricacies of IT's outfit. Such finely woven silk, poor Bobby had known a thing or two about good fabrics. But alas.. It was all wasted on her. IT focuses IT’s gaze on her, considering as IT straightens up. Who would believe her? She was an outsider, a pariah among her peers. How vicious children could be. It must be taught from a young age, how to spot the ones that didn’t quite fit. The ones that came in wearing the same worn clothes day after day. The ones with odd habits, strange tics. All of it alienating in the rigid society humans imposed upon themselves. To be excluded was a lonely thing. Not quite the death sentence that it would be when she hit her teens. But still devastating in its own way. The girl no one wanted to play with.

“Or. Maybe I don’t have a name at all. Maybe I took this one.”

The obsession with names was odd to IT. After all.. There was only one of Itself. There was no need for a name. Gan had seen fit to give Maturin a name but for Itself? Nothing nothing nothing. Perhaps IT was not worthy of one? Perhaps IT was difficult to name, in either high speech or low speech. Perhaps all that IT was could not be so easily encompassed by a name. Either way IT watches her, tilting IT’s head to one side with unnatural attentiveness.

“What would you call me? If you could give me a name?”

[avaoakley]

ava's expression falls , just slightly , when IT doesn't seem taken with her fawning effort . this rejection is so familiar , so commonplace , but it sours her stomach all the same --- here she thought she sort of had IT on the hook . it doesn't occur to her for a moment that the grown up could be so taken in by her true nature . no one likes a smart ass , avey . crestfallen with the lack of endearment her peers are always met with when they play cute , ava wrinkles her little nose , giving the clown another appraising once over .

" mm - mm . i wouldn't say clowns are fancy . your suit sorta looks like it was made out of an old lady's curtains . "

back to scathing honesty , it is , then . hmph . her brows pinch at the feeling of curling claws ghosting lightly over her wrist before the handshake is relinquished . a fairy tale darts over her mind to accompany the remark , almost absently . little red riding hood . a wolf donning grandma's clothes to lull in a naive little girl , who could only think to stand and list off the jarring discrepancies in 'grandma's' appearance .

what big eyes you have . what big t e e t h you have .

" ... i don't know . " she confesses , after a long moment of earnest effort , puzzling IT's query over .

ava picks up her empty polystyrene container and strides a little ways to deposit it into the park's trashcan . instead of returning to the bench , she makes her way to the lonely seesaw --- standing up on the lowered end and beginning to walk across to the other side . arms out to keep her balance . still engaging IT contently enough .

" you don't exactly ... suit , having a name . no offence . names are --- for people . and animals , i guess . but you're neither . " it's an observation that is offered almost matter - of - factly , as if ava is simply pointing out the darkening sky above them . something plain to see , easy to observe . she meets the clown's gaze , unwavering , her head tipping . " are you ? "

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑭𝑬𝑨𝑹 / 𝑯𝑶𝑹𝑹𝑶𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  nothing's going to happen to us, right?  ❜ ❛  i'm ... scared.  ❜ ❛  i don't like where this is going.  ❜ ❛  did i ever tell you i'm actually terrified of [the dark / heights / spiders / etc.]?  ❜ ❛  you hear me? we're not going to die today!  ❜ ❛  did you hear that? it sounded like screams.  ❜ ❛  i really, really don't like this.  ❜ ❛  we're completely alone here, nothing's going to happen to us.  ❜ ❛  this place has been abandoned for centuries.  ❜ ❛  whatever happens, keep the lights on.  ❜ ❛  you're not scared, are you?  ❜ ❛  this is like straight out of my worst nightmare.  ❜ ❛  do you believe in ghosts?  ❜ ❛  what are you afraid?  ❜ ❛  what was that?!  ❜ ❛  see, i told you there's nothing to be afraid of.  ❜ ❛  go on, no one will hear your screams.  ❜ ❛  it was a foolish idea to come here alone.  ❜ ❛  no one is going to save you now.  ❜ ❛  don't be afraid, i'm not going to hurt you.  ❜ ❛  you really think you can run from me?  ❜ ❛  it's a shame i'll have to kill you when we're done with this.  ❜ ❛  want to make a deal with the devil?  ❜ ❛  i'm not afraid of you. not anymore.  ❜ ❛  there are figures hiding in the shadows, waiting to strike.  ❜ ❛  this wasn't so bad now, was it?  ❜ ❛  what could possibly go wrong - it's just an old abandoned meaning, it doesn't mean it's haunted, right?  ❜ ❛  face it, we won't make it out of here alive.  ❜ ❛  i'll even give you a choice - it's either you or them. who's going to die tonight?  ❜ ❛  i will haunt you for the rest of your days.  ❜ ❛  don't scream, it will only make this worse.  ❜ ❛  you look so pretty when you're scared of me.  ❜ ❛  i won't kill you ... yet.  ❜ ❛  ghosts and monsters aren't real.  ❜ ❛  i'm not afraid of anything!  ❜ ❛  you! you're sick! you sent me here to die, didn't you?  ❜ ❛  close your eyes. it'll make it easier if you don't see it coming.  ❜ ❛  no matter where you hide, i'll always find you. so you better give up now.  ❜ ❛  i promise i'm gonna be your worst nightmare.  ❜ ❛  it's only over when i say it is.  ❜

[avaoakley]

ava's favourite movie is child's play . she loves chucky

[avaoakley]

ava   oakley   +   tv   tropes  .

[avaoakley]

i   found   ava   oakley’s   it :  2017   deleted   scenes

[avaoakley]

that looks like it hurts.

it 2017 sentence starters / accepting .

sure does . her little throat is black and blue , lined with horrifically dark contusions that form the unmistakable pattern of an adult man's hands . azure eyes look faintly bloodshot . ava's breaths are ragged and scratchy , each one a rattling , laboured gulp . pained . the child's voice is hoarse as she answers , looking decidedly unimpressed with IT's assertion .

" ... gosh jeezum , you don't say . " it's uttered drily ; a traumatic event could never hope to impede ava oakley's capacity for snark . upon closer inspection , one might note scratch marks that punctuate the edge of all the bruising , where uncut nails clawed frantically to try and loose the rigid grip closing her windpipe . a struggle can be pieced together , and it would seem she emerged victor . against all odds ...

" it hurts like fucking hell . "

she asserts with a contemptuous sniffle , tone sharp and venomous --- sour at the whole goddamn world . her mother , her uncle barry , and all the people that mill right by and barely cast her startling degree of injury a second glance . discomforted , disquieted , but with no interest in intervention . she squints at IT , perturbed by IT's basic decency of acknowledging her troubles .

" ... what do you care ? "

[spider-self]

"Just a little mutt. Arf arf." The sounds are cartoonish, mocking, but IT allows Itself to be pulled back into a more playful state. Irritating her enough to make her run would ruin the fun too soon, and IT was enjoying this, deep down. Humans were amusing at their core, so easily fooled that tormenting them almost seemed pointless. If it wasn't for the sake of salting the meat, IT might not have bothered with the scares. But variety was the spice of life and even IT enjoyed the occasional pivot from the norm. Eternity was so long.

Was IT weird? Undoubtedly so, at least to humans. Each of them bound to unspoken rules and expectations, varying from culture to culture, continent to continent. We ignore the beggars and the sick and the needy, we turn our faces away from anything strange and unsettling, we close our ears to that which we do not want to hear. We deny the truth in front of our eyes. Was it any wonder that children were occasionally the hardest to trick? An adult would simply dismiss IT as a madman or a drunk. A child would read the performance for what it was and question it just as she had. A child would be wary, an adult in many cases, would not be.

IT shrugs, one shoulder after the other again and giggles loosely. "Maybe I am, maybe I should be telling you something stupid like wait your turn, be nice. Be good." IT rolls IT's eyes, making a soft disgusted sound as IT leans back, bending a little further back over the bench than should be possible for a man with a functioning spine. "Do you get anything from being good? Behaving? OR is it just a way to control you? Make you do what they want hmm? Who benefits from you being quiet? Unseen? So many questions for poor little.."

IT pauses then laughs aloud in IT's screaming echoing way. They'd had a whole conversation and IT hadn't asked her name once. How rude! How could IT go on? IT springs up from the bench and turns to face her, the bells of IT's suit jingling merrily. "We haven't been introduced! Not properly. I-" IT rests a hand on IT's chest and bows. "Am Pennywise the Dancing Clown. The best performer this side of Maine. And you aaare?"

IT stretches out a hand to her, cocking IT's head to one side. "What's your name?"

[avaoakley]

" i used to try and be good . i wanted people to like me ... i wanted it so , so much . i used my best manners , and i smiled , and i never ever picked fights . honest i didn't . not then . but it was like --- everyone could always tell i wasn't good , no matter what . "

the vocabulary to describe her tumultuous feelings fails her --- eloquence too often evades her . the people of derry always looked at her like they could see right through her most valiant efforts to behave --- as if they could see something rotten within . the apple doesn't fall far from the tree , now , does it ? their adult , scathing disapproval ... the way even other children shrink away , nervy and unsure , forbidden from playing with the oakley girl ...

ava keeps her eyes fixed on the clown . IT's inhuman contortions of posture --- IT's prying , prodding and poking . in a way , she supposes she's examining the stranger closely , too . like when a new uncle comes calling . she's hedgy , unnaturally scrutinising for a girl so little . picking her way through a potential conversational minefield . sussing out IT's nature , mincing around IT gingerly . men are unpredictable , and mean , and dangerous . slimy things . she has to be ready .

yet for all her apprehension ... she continues engaging . feeling seen , and heard , in a way that simultaneously thrills and unsettles her .

" so now --- now i just behave however i want ! they whispered horrible things about me , anyway . i'm not stupid . "

the barking chuckles that waver from IT are almost sinister . on the cusp of off-putting . the merry trilling of bells exacerbates the dichotomy of IT's demeanour , emphasising for just a precious moment how very uncanny this all is . ava glances to the gloved hand extended , then back up to the clown looming over her .

a pause .

" ... my name's ava . " a very faint smile pulls at her lips as she takes IT's proffered hand , shaking it with vigour amusedly . " pennywise . snnnnrk . that's a funny name . is it your real one ? can't be ! "

[rpsentence-storage]

• °☆ It: Chapter Two (2019) ☆ ° •

feel free to change words and pronouns as needed.

“If you’re my friend, why are you hiding in the dark?”

“You’re not my friend. You’re scary.”

“Well, you feel like you could just about die.”

“I feel very relieved to be here with you guys.”

“We don’t owe this town shit!”

“But you know what they say about (place). No one who dies here ever really dies!”

“Alone? Oh, you’ve always been alone.”

“It’s your fault what happened, isn’t it?”

“You think this is some sort of game, huh? Well fuck you, alright?!”

“You’re braver than you think.”

“Yeah, I gotta be honest, man. All due respect, this is fucking stupid, alright?”

“Oh, did it work, (name)? Did it work? Tell them why your silly little ritual didn’t work!”

“Are you fucking kidding me, (name)?”

“Oh my God, what happened to you?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Yeah, splitting up would be dumb, man. We gotta go together, alright?”

“I know what you are. That’s why I’m not afraid.”

“I know your secret! Your dirty little secret! Oh, I know your secret! Your DIRTY little secret! Should I tell them, (name)?”

“Look at you… you’re all grown up.”

“Hey, fuck face! You wanna play Truth or Dare? Here’s the truth: you’re a sloppy bitch!”

“You should cut that fucking mullet, it’s been like thirty years, man!”

“I love what he’s done with the place.”

“I know your every move, you little bitch.”

“I’m a Loser. And I’ll always be a fucking Loser.”

“Yeah, man. That’s what we were supposed to do, asshole.”

“Close your eyes if you don’t believe. Close them and see.”

“He’s alright, he’s just hurt. We gotta get him out of here. He’s just hurt.”

“Honey. He’s dead.”

[spider-self]

"Uncles hmm?" IT hums low in IT's throat, the universal indication for listening, and IT was listening, albeit in an unfocused way. The hunger had the one benefit of sharpening IT's senses and while IT couldn't trace the strands of IT's web as IT could within the epicentre of IT's inner sanctum. IT could follow the traces of her scent through the fresh earthy smells of the park, up the street further and further until... There she was... IT didn't often take notice of how IT's presence soured the soil. It had been many years since IT had actively pushed the town collectively towards chaos. Individual pockets of horror were simply that, like poisonous gas bubbling to the surface of a lake. Would the child's mother have been so terrible if she hadn't lived in Derry? Perhaps, then again perhaps not. Humanity such as it was still had free will. IT tries and fails to muffle a giggle. Was an animal unaware of the yoke of fate free or just stupid?

Perhaps this form was more disarming to her than IT had first assumed. Now one curiosity was satisfied, IT turns IT's attention back on her fully. Left alone, out by herself. She was the perfect meal, Gan, she might not even be reported as missing for a few days if IT's assumptions about her mother were correct. But a part of IT had already filed her away into a different category. Call it boredom, it was as good of an explanation as any. IT's many whims were ever changing, tomorrow IT might decide to bite her head off. Until then, IT had time to kill.

Well... That wasn't strictly true. The twisting in IT's stomach was a reminder. Not an endless amount of time, but time enough. IT wasn't quite reduced to a drooling beast. Not yet anyway. Even so IT's voice is thick, slightly slurred as IT drags IT's tongue over the fangs lining IT's throat. So very hungry..

"She spends all her time with strangers and leaves you out in the cold. Why.. You're no better than a mutt. And even they get kicked every once in a while. What do you get?"

Ha! To be called an old man?! Oh the audacity! IT laughs then, even if the sound is strange and warped. IT had considered tormenting an office in the quieter moments of IT's cycle. Adult fears were more complicated than those of children. Some might occasionally fear the movie monsters and slasher villains, good solid forms for IT to mimic. But most were abstract, bills, sickness, eviction. Difficult to conceptualise, harder to scare with. But all working adults had a fear in common. Middle Management.

"Oh I could try. We could practise." IT wheezes out the words through chuckles, straightening up and cocking IT's head to one side, suddenly prim and attentive. "I have so many skills Mr. Bossman. I can do handstands, I can juggle, I even make balloon animals! When can I start?"

Despite the frivolity there was no missing the sudden shift in tone, the hesitation in the words. Alone... Oh she was so very alone. IT clicks IT's tongue thoughtfully then grins, showing the smallest hint of fangs.

"Next time.. You grab their hair, pull them back and let their stupid little skulls hit the dirt. No one will mess with you on the swings again."

[avaoakley]

" wh--- i am not ! a mutt , i mean . that's not nice . " an affronted look darts over her expression , features crinkling with childish indignation . she scoffs at the prospect of being hurt --- a quick flash of bravado that almost brings into question the idea that she even could be . slender fingers pull at her secondhand sweater's sleeves to ensure any bruising , any glimpse of vulnerability , is adequately concealed as their conversation continues .

she's almost nettled enough to storm off in a huff --- too easily worked up , but IT lulls her back in slightly with a playful suggestion that makes her grin .

" pfffff . cool . but that stuff isn't any good to mr. bossman ! you've gotta be able to answer the phones , or stack the shelves , or somethin' boring like that . "

ava makes a show of pretending to adjust an imaginary tie around her neck , clearing her throat lowly like an important businessman . she waves a dismissive hand , brusque and scolding !

" so . no start day for you , mister . get outta my face ! back to the unemployment line . shoo , shoo ! leave me , while i count my million bucks again . "

the jarring advice makes her head tilt . the tips of IT's strange , sharp teeth catch her eye , and something twists in her stomach . there is a chilling sense she should really be going . ava doesn't balk , doesn't move . merely squints .

" pfffff . shouldn't you be telling me somethin' stupid , like turn the other cheek ? you're a very weird grown up , mister . " cupping her chin in her hands , blowing a few stray blonde hairs from her face , ava shrugs . " i do , sometimes --- when the mean kids my own size are hogging . i'm scrappy like that . but the teenagers that hang out here are dickheads , and i can't beat them up . "

[avaoakley]

also considering writing a shine awakening in ava following a traumatic event where uncle barry almost chokes her to death one night in a drunken rage .

it evokes a freshly flourished ability to move things with her mind , matilda style . allowing her to push him off her . hard enough to smack him into the coffee table , to wind him .

she doesn't really understand how she did it , in hindsight --- both of her little hands were too preoccupied with trying to prise his fingers from her windpipe . he's so much bigger , stronger . and ava felt so weak ...

she was --- bucking under him , she guesses ? straining , struggling ? maybe she jerked him off her just hard enough , and he lost his balance . it's all sort of a blur . adrenaline , terror , the dizziness of gasping raggedly for a breath at long last .

she staggered upstairs to her bedroom , weeping , and found that her bedroom lock slid into place with startling ease as she fumbled it ... weird . it's usually so stiff .

[avaoakley]

there are two notable fixtures in ava's mother's love life . they come around to the house frequently and both treat ava very differently .

"uncle" barry is her least favourite intruder . he's an unwashed man with dark gelled hair , bristly facial hair and big , meaty hands that are too often laid upon the little girl in violence or at least nasty intimidation . he's big and tall and looming . he's got nasty piggy eyes that are so dark they seem to swallow any light that should hit them . he's scary when he stares . waiting for her to do something wrong . sly comments , subtle cruelties precede screaming matches and battering her . he's not always nice to her mother , either , but she seems inclined to forgive more easily than ava herself . he stinks of smoke and drink , repulsive , but she's the bad guy if she reels from his presence . he's of the opinion that ava is a loudmouthed little shit in need of correction ; fear is as good as respect .

"uncle" gene is awkward and gentle . clumsily earnest , soft - spoken . he has glasses with a thick lens that make him look a little owlish . ava doesn't really know how he endeared himself to her mother --- he's not her usual type . but he has a good job , that pays good money , and he's kind of a pushover . that might be it . he's not over nearly as often as barry , much to her dismay . despite her withering looks and cold avoidance and biting remarks , he remained kind whenever he saw her . asked about school , fixed her bike when the chain slipped . stupid stuff . ava's usual disdain and reproachfulness fails her lately when gene comes around . he secretly slips her ten bucks , sometimes even twenty , every time he sees her .