Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery u are so very precious to me

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blake kathryn
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we're not kids anymore.

titsay

⁂
taylor price

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dirt enthusiast
i don't do bad sauce passes
AnasAbdin
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trying on a metaphor
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@aveelon
Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery u are so very precious to me
Ellis haunts the narrative like a banshee: loud, obvious, clearly observable. A constant, haunting presence over Meredith's shoulder and a reminder of her mortality every step she takes as dread fills her chest because no matter what she does she will inevitably succumb to the same fate.
Bizzy haunts the narrative like a wraith: unseen and unheard but constantly felt. Her presence unnoticed by those around her except Addison, who sees her everywhere as she infects everything in Addison's life with a grievous melancholy that reminds her she will never, no matter how hard she tries, be free.
you can pry my chronically lonely women from my cold dead heads
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We're all very haunted by Addison and Bizzy's relationship (as we should be) but I've been thinking a lot about The Captain lately and how he's just as bad, just in a completely different way.
The man who taught his eight year old daughter to mix his drinks for him - probably as a party trick for when the other WASPy families came around and he could show off just how "mature" and "sophisticated" Addison was.
The man who had affairs with Addison's nannies and french tutors and made her an active participant in covering up his infidelity her whole childhood (and probably beyond, honestly).
The man who had never seen Addison operate until she was already a double board certified world class surgeon - skipping all the sleepless nights and exhaustion and tears and doubt. Cutting straight to the success; getting to cash in on her triumphs as "Look at her, I did that." when he probably missed every birthday and graduation before but now he cares because she's a doctor and it's actually important now.
I especially think about the way that he's kind of dismissive of her - he calls her kitten and sleeps with her coworkers and just patronises her. She's not a daughter to him, she's an accessory.
Thinking about Addison being one of those 13 year olds who has their first existential crisis and thinks "Oh my God am I actually a bad person?" And rationalises that even of she is (which she isn't... she hopes) she will never be as bad as The Captain.
And then she cheats on Derek.
Thinking about the specific but often overlooked trauma of simply being too young for whatever is occurring in your life. Having to act older to get through it then feeling simultaneously ahead of and behind people your age forever, having lived experience that they wont have yet, not for a long time, but also having missed out on the more traditional experiences they were having while you were holding it together. The shame over still having more childish emotional outbursts, because you didn’t allow yourself (or maybe you weren’t allowed to) express and really sit with your feelings as a kid. You learnt how to save your own life, you learnt how to numb pain, you learnt how to keep the peace, but you didn’t get to learn how to identify and process your feelings. And then there’s that thought at the time of “I should be able to handle this better, other people handle this better.” and it’s like, but baby. Those people aren’t this young.
i like a character who follows all of the rules their whole life and then ends up with big fucking nothing except their own self righteous #coping because the rules arent actually good for them or for anybody else
So much of this world so much sooo so much of this world makes me miserable it’s almost funny
Congratulations on the marriage guys!!!! It's about time honestly
everytime i want something i should be shot in the head
i love the moment i get home and i can listen to lana in my room
top 3 hobbies for young adults:
1. borrowing misery from future
2. carrying grief of the past
3. agonizing over the present
"sex should be less stigmatized and talked about more" and "you should always make sure people who dont want to consume sexual media that you present dont have to see it" are two statements that can and should coexist. by the way.
"anti-woke" people are funny cause woke just means being aware of all the shit going on in the world. like these people are just all "fuck people who are aware im gonna continue living in Stupidland"