how to disappear completely @avoidantcrona - Tumblr Blog

Man, reading through past posts on this blog is such a weird experience for me

I almost don’t recognize me. I feel a lot better now. I still have a lot of issues, but at least I don’t feel like shit everyday

#god bless antidepressants amen

#negative #so basically I want to like people but when I do I'm like 'wow... this is bad'#it's been a while since I posted anything at all here #I haven't been using my vent blog all this much but this a great sign actually #I've been well

#do you see my problem #I tried twice and it didn't go well and trying again would mean going through everything since the beginning and #I'm so tired of doing that #I shouldn't have to #but I need to #hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You know when you haven’t talked to someone in a long time but you’re not sure if it’s okay to do that because maybe they got bored of you, but at the same time you’re also not sure if NOT talking to them is the correct thing because what if they think you don’t wanna talk to them or don’t put effort to maintaining the friendship or whatever and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#actuallyavoidant #I currently feel like this about a lot of people and it's such a dilemma #I wish I just knew #like. instinctively knew whether someone wants me to talk to them or not #because what if they're like ''oh here comes that boring binch I thought I had gotten rid of them but here they come''

It appears I have finally convinced myself that I deserve nice things

#(not necessarily in a material sense just in general)#one might ask ''why?''#well #just because #I just do #I deserve some peace

Do I know how to talk to people? No. But will that stop me from trying?? Yes, usually

bakaccha

warm-positivity-deactivated2022

Keep going because you will recover. Eventually the world won’t seem so horrible, you’ll enjoy things like you used to and have actual hobbies, and you’ll feel excited for your future. You deserve to be here to see it happen.

#positive

avpdactually

i want to be a child again

I’m gonna beat depresion with a broomstick

#watch and see

#Imagine That #it would be so nice #I'm just posting this here instead of on my main because it's uhh really embarrassing

Started the work day going hide in the bathroom to cry because something really embarrassing happened to me in the pharmacy... this day is off to a great start already

#it wasn’t even that bad I’m just really overly affected by stuff like this #why am I like this literally no one else would care this much #and I can’t stop crying