Hi lovelies, long time no chat. Apologies for not writing really at all in 2024 but it was quite the year for me IRL. I do plan on writing again for THG later this year (probably once the new book comes out and I get new inspiration), but until then I have started writing on my Law and Order SVU blog. So… if you like my writing and SVU, you can find me at @mentally-unstabler
Thanks as always for the amazing love on my works on this blog. It still blows my mind how many people continue to read my fics over a year after posting them. I’ll be back to THG soon :)
Prequel is coming in a few months! I haven’t made a Taglist yet and probably won’t start one till I’m closer to publishing. I’ll make a post tagging this series’ Taglist when I’m starting the next one.
Content Warnings - Mentions of fertility issues/miscarriage; death; the end of this series (don’t worry it’s a good ending imo)
Dear Brielle,
A lot has happened in seventeen years. I’ve now lived half of my life without you, mom, and dad. I’ve been thinking about you a lot so my husband Finnick (yes that Finnick lol) said I should write you a letter of all the things I wanted to tell you but never could.
A little over ten years ago we killed President Snow. The districts rebelled and won. The war was brutal and there were times I nearly died, but Finnick pulled me through.
We got married a year later. We never really did the whole dating thing, our friendship just evolved into a beautiful romance overnight. He was there for me after you left and he has been here ever since.
The years since the war have not been easy. I’ve had bouts of seizures that leave me bedridden and ill for days. The doctors said my condition should be worse so I should be grateful. Countless medications and treatments have made slight improvements to my health but the pain will always be there.
Two years after our wedding we almost hit our breaking point. Finnick and I had been trying to start a family for over a year but nothing was working. It was the most frustrating experience of my life post-war and I do not wish those struggles on anyone.
Three years after our wedding, Mags passed of old age. Although we were sad, we were all glad she got to live out her last few years in a free Panem. Johanna decided to move in with Annie afterwards so she wouldn’t be alone. We are still neighbors to this day.
Four years after our wedding, I got pregnant, only to lose the baby a few months in due to a bad seizure. This was Finnick and I’s lowest point to date.
It’s now been a bit over 9 years since I married the love of my life and the father of my child. We were finally blessed with a baby boy, Neptune, 4 years ago today. He is everything I could have asked for in a child; rambunctious, kind, and adventurous. He looks just like his father but acts like his mother.
Two years ago, Neptune’s best friend arrived in District 4. Annie and Johanna adopted a little girl, Jodie, from District 7. Neptune and her do EVERYTHING together. Finnick keeps joking that we should build a tunnel between our two houses so the kids can hang out all the time.
All in all, it’s been a very painful 34 years of existence. Part of me is glad you didn’t have to witness what happened. The other part of me still hopes you’re out there, even though I know you aren’t. I hope that wherever you are, you’re at peace.
On the one year anniversary of Snow’s death, aka Freedom Day, you married Finnick for real. He had proposed to you in your garden a few weeks after you’d returned home from the capital. You said yes of course.
Your friends traveled from all over Panem to witness your real special day. Katniss and Peeta (who were on good terms but not quite dating yet) took the train from 12, dragging a not so sober Haymitch along with them. Beetee, who is now living in the capital as Panem’s head of military technology, arrived along with Effie and Tigris. Finally, Johanna arrived a few days early from 7 to spend some extra time with Annie (much to Mags’ delight).
Mags, Annie, and Jo had decided that wedding planning was their new favorite activity and planned the whole thing for you and Finnick. They even arranged for Peeta to make and decorate the cake again. Tigris designed your dress and Effie helped with the makeup.
Everything was perfect. Finnick had suggested that Mags officiate the wedding because in District 4, it’s tradition to have the elder of the family perform the ceremony. Although neither you nor Finnick had any living relatives, Mags was a mother figure to both of you.
The ceremony commenced half an hour before the sun was set to disappear over the waters. Beetee had designed cool contacts for everyone so they could watch the sunset behind you and Finnick without going blind.
District 4’s wedding march boomed out over the ceremony as a group of local children played it on their hand drums. Your dress flows beautifully behind you as you walk your bare feet down the sandy aisle, without the assistance of anyone else.
You catch Finnick’s eyes as you approach him and Mags. He’s standing there in awe of you as he wears somewhat casual dress pants and a flowy button down shirt. Mags signals for the children to stop drumming when you reach Finnick.
Mags pulls out a net, handwoven by herself, to drape over you and Finnick. Finnick has to help her a bit due to her height but eventually you’re both caught under the net. Mags proceeds to sign the ceremony dialogue as the net rests over both of you.
When she finishes the formalities, she has Finnick lift the net off and wrap it around your shoulders, securing it so it doesn’t slip while still allowing your arms to move freely.
You take the bowl of salt water from Mags and dip your fingers in it before gently gliding them over Finnick’s lips. He then takes the bowl from you and traces your lips, leaving saltwater in the wake of his fingers.
This is where District 4 does the vows. You both do your best to convey in words your love for each other but words can’t possibly describe the depth of your love.
Finally, your love is sealed in a salty kiss. Nothing else matters in this moment; not the watching crowd, not the scars of your own battles, nor the pain you had endured. Your life was complete as long as he was in it.
To everyone else, you’re a survivor, a human, a warrior. To yourself, you’re healing, you’re safe, you’re loved. To him, you’re everything.
The epilogue will be out sometime soonish (I still haven’t finished it lol but I promise I’m working on it).
Ok one more chapter after this one then the epilogue! I still haven’t written the epilogue but as soon as I do the series will be published.
Content Warnings - Descriptions of killing
Finnick left for 4 after the doctors had gotten your seizures under control and you’d commenced the rest of your treatment plan. They explained that they were most likely a permanent side effect of the capital’s experiment but you could help lessen their occurrence using a medication. You were hesitant to take any medication from the capital, but both Finnick and Beetee assured you it was safe.
All of the victors went back to their districts except for you, Johanna, and Peeta. It seems like the three of you were trapped in the capital all over again. You did have some freedoms, such as the ability to go outside and the ability to socialize freely, but it still felt like a prison.
Dr. Aurelius noticed how you were regressing in the capital and recommended the doctors release you early back to 4 where you could continue to meet with him over the phone. They were hesitant to agree but you promised to come back if your health worsened.
At the news of your release, Finnick hopped on the first train back to the capital. His project wasn’t 100% finished but he was glad you were coming home.
“Finn!” you squeal as he enters your room. Your stuff was already packed and ready to go with you to 4 in the morning.
He pulls you into a tight hug, inhaling the smell of your freshly washed hair.
“Hey love,” he smiles. “Are you ready to go home tomorrow?”
“Yes!” you reply, staring into those deep blue-green eyes you had missed for weeks.
You allow him to sleep alongside you that night, knowing that he is a safe person.
He’s your safe person, and you’re his home.
The next morning, Finnick loads your stuff onto the train and you both head back to 4. Mags and Annie were already there waiting for you.
The two of you spend the train ride curled up together on the couch, watching the scenery pass by in silence.
When you arrive in District 4, your whole world seems brighter. Paylor had pardoned you of the crimes the capital had charged you with, meaning you were no longer confined to your house. You were free.
Finnick grabs your bags and starts to pull you along down an unfamiliar road.
“Finn, where are we going?” you ask him.
“It’s a surprise,” he responds, smiling at you.
After a long walk, Finnick finally reveals the surprise.
Finnick had spent his few weeks back in 4 moving all of your things to a new house in the north of the district, along with Mags’ and Annie’s things into a house next door.
You stared in awe at the beautiful garden that wraps around the house, as well as the cobble stone path leading down to the beach.
“It’s perfect,” you grin, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, love.”
Your first few days home were a breath of fresh air. You went on morning walks with Finnick to help increase your strength and would finish your days laying on the beach with him, watching the last of the sunset over the horizon.
“Annie seems better,” you mention to Finnick as you both stare out towards the dying embers of the day. “She can sit in the same room as me for an hour without screaming now.”
“I always hopped you two would get along,” Finnick hums. He had watched for years as the two of you avoided each other like the plague, scared that all sanity would be lost if an encounter were to occur.
It had been hard for Finnick to convince Annie at first that you weren’t going to kill her. He remembers how terrified of you she was before she even entered the arena.
“I think that’s my biggest fear,” Annie had admitted to her mentor the night before her games. “Watching someone you cared about’s head get hacked off right in front of you.”
She had been mentally scared by the image of your kill in the arena. She remembers watching you decapitate Floyd while his district partner watched in horror, unable to stop it.
Annie never blamed you for your kill, at least not after she left the arena. But, seeing her own district partner go out in the same way left her with trauma that was unintentionally linked with you.
Hey y’all long time no chat! I promise The Feral One will be finished soon it’s just been hard to write while traveling for the holidays. My spicy sadness has been extra spicy this year so I’m giving myself some time away from the internet to reset and hopefully wrap up the fic soon.
This may be the last chapter for a few days as we’re approaching the end of the story rapidly and I haven’t finished editing it yet lol. I apologize for leaving it off with a cliffhanger but I want to make sure the end is perfect before posting it. Life’s been busy this week so I haven’t had the time to finish it the way I want to.
Content Warnings - Injury, death, medical issues, I promise Finnick isn’t being stupid this time lol
The next week was full of recovery. You slowly regained your strength and were able to try solid foods again. The doctors polished all your scars off, including the one on your face from your games, at your request. You wanted nothing left to remind you of them.
You started physical therapy, as well as regular sessions with Dr. Aurelius. He allowed Finnick to join you, realizing you felt more comfortable with him nearby. You still had to use a walker to get around, but you were making progress.
A few weeks after the war ended, Coin called all the victors into a meeting. There were barely any left, mostly due to the war.
“I’ve called you all here for a very symbolic vote,” she states. You don’t like where this is going.
She proceeds to pitch her idea for a hunger games featuring capital children. There are mixed reactions from the remaining victors, with some believing the idea to be fair and others believing it to be cruel. Votes are cast around the room and it finally comes down to Katniss.
“I get to kill Snow,” she tells Coin, who agrees to this proposition.
“Then I vote yes,” she states. “For Prim.”
You can’t even process what this means. Another games? Was Coin out of her mind? You finally realized what you had been denying all along, as long as Coin was in charge, you would never be free.
Finnick brings you back to your shared room after the meeting. You allow his touch but still flinch away at everyone else. Dr. Aurelius had been working with you on that but it’s hard to undo the trauma of many years.
“I just want to go home,” you tell him.
“You have to stay here for a bit,” he explains. “District 4 doesn’t have the resources for your treatment. Once you are better I promise you can go back to 4.”
“What about you?” you ask him. “Are you staying?”
He hesitantly shakes his head.
“I have to go to 4 for a few weeks but I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he states. “Johanna will be here with you in the meantime and I’ll call every day.”
“You’re leaving?” you ask, dumbfounded by his response.
“I promise it’s for a good reason,” he says, squeezing your hand. “I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t important.”
“When do you leave?” you ask.
“In two weeks,” he responds. “I’ll be here for the first bit of your treatment and return before it’s over. Then we will both go back to 4 together. Do you trust me?”
“Always”
That afternoon Finnick helps you walk out onto the avenue to stand next to the other victors. Snow was finally falling, and you were both alive to witness it.
Standing in front of all the capital people made you uneasy. What did they think of you? Were they going to hurt you?
You’re lost in your thoughts when suddenly the crowd erupts into chaos. You look up to see Coin lying dead on the podium, an arrow in her heart. A mob of people begins rushing towards Snow, eager to kill him.
Finnick quickly scoops you up and carries you away from the commotion. When he finally sets you down, you ask what happened.
“Katniss killed Coin,” he states. “Snow is dead.”
He has to take you back to your room before you have a breakdown. What evil creature was going to seize power of Panem next? All of this was too much.
You end up collapsing on the floor of your room, shaking uncontrollably.
Will you die? Will you live? Find out in this chapter lol
Content Warnings - mentions of drug addiction, surgery/injury
Johanna was hospitalized the day of your surgery after a nurse caught her stealing morphling from a supply station. Finnick was so worried about you that he didn’t notice how high she was the whole time she was with him. All he could focus on was you.
The brain surgery lasted six hours. Finnick silently cried outside your room the whole time, wishing he could be by your side during it. Mags and Annie found him distraught in the hallway a few hours in.
“Finn,” Annie sighs, sitting down next to her mentor. “She’ll be ok. Beetee is really smart.” Mags also sits and pulls Finnick’s head onto her lap.
“They won’t even let me see her,” he explains. “She’s completely alone in there.”
“You’ll see her soon,” Annie tells him.
“What do you want to do when we all go home?” she asks, changing the subject.
“I’m moving out,” Finnick states. “I can’t stand to be in victors village anymore. I never want to see that place again.”
“Mags and I can come with!” Annie exclaims. “Where are we moving to?”
Annie successful distracts Finnick for the remainder of your surgery. He only notices how much time has passed when Beetee approaches him, still in his scrubs.
“We were successful,” he states, causing Finnick to smile for the first time in ages.
“The doctors are going to keep her sedated for another week but as long as her vitals remain stable, you should be able to see her in a few days.”
“Will she still be feral?” Annie asks. Mags swats at Annie’s arm and mumbles how we aren’t supposed to use that word.
“We don’t know,” Beetee states. “We will have to wait and see.”
Your eyes slowly open, revealing a hospital room. What happened? The last thing you remember was being in the sewers…
OMG were you dead??? You begin to panic at the thought, causing one of the machines to start beeping.
“Hey,” you hear someone say but you can’t turn your head to look at them. Your body feels too heavy.
You attempt to respond but the only noise that comes out is a weak moan.
“You’re ok,” the voice says. “You’re in the hospital. You were injured in the sewers and had to have surgery.”
“Finn?” you groan, recognizing the voice.
“Yes love,” he responds. “I’m right here.”
A doctor enters the room and begins to unhook you from some of the machines.
“Welcome back Miss Y/L/N,” they state. “You’ve been out for three weeks. We can go over what happened with you later but for now you need to take it easy.”
The doctor takes some notes before leaving the room, stating that your vitals were good and you were healing perfectly.
“Finn,” you wheeze.
“Yes love?,” he worriedly asks. “Do you need anything?”
“It hurts,” you reply, still unable to move.
“You had two surgeries,” he explains. “You lost too much blood in the sewers and they had to perform surgery to heal your wounds. A week later they removed a mass they found in your brain. That was the timer Peeta talked about. They can’t give you any more morphling unfortunately.”
I do have a few more projects I will be working on prior to this one but this will be in the works sometime next year! Thanks for all the love on The Feral One <3
Content Warnings - injury, surgery, mention of psych eval
An hour feels like forever as you watch the one you love slowly fade away. You’re passed out again by the time Peeta returns with a medic.
“I could only find one,” he pants, trying to catch his breath. “There were a lot of injuries due to the bombs.”
The medic kneels down to take a look at you. Your blood was still black, worrying the entire group.
“Please,” Finnick pleads. “You have to help her.”
“There aren’t enough of us right now to handle this,” the medic shakes their head. “Half of our unit died to the bombs this morning.”
“Can you radio for someone? Anyone?” Finnick asks.
The medic was able to call for an armored vehicle to come pick you up. They didn’t have any medical supplies but they could drive you to the hospital.
Finnick holds your limp hand the whole way, refusing to let you leave him.
It’s been 12 hours with no news. The doctors immediately rushed you into surgery when you arrived, not even letting Finnick come with you.
Finnick sat alone in the waiting room of the hospital. Peeta had been taken in for a psych eval and Katniss was in the ICU. Boggs was dead, the Leegs were dead, Prim was dead… (Gale was unfortunately not dead)
A gloomy aura hung over the capital that day. The rebels had won but at a high cost. Finnick didn’t know what he would do with himself if you didn’t make it.
“Finnick,” someone states as they nudge his shoulder. The blond looks up to see Johanna in front of him.
“Jo…” he replies. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard what happened…,” she starts. “I needed to be here. They flew me out from thirteen.”
“Thank you,” Finnick hums as his friend sits beside him.
The two of them sit in silence for hours, Finnick periodically dozing off in his chair.
Johanna nudges him awake when the doctor comes out.
“She made it through surgery,” the doctor states, causing the victors to let out a sigh of relief. “She’s in a medically induced coma for the time being. She’ll need to have another operation in a week to remove the mass in her brain.”
“What mass?” Finnick asks.
“The timer…” Johanna mutters.
“We don’t know exactly what it is,” the doctor explains. “We do, however, believe that it’s the cause of her sudden illness. The doctors are in contact with Mr. Latier to devise a safe plan of removal.”
“Can we see her?” Finnick asks.
“I’m afraid she’s in a quarantine until her immune system rebuilds strength,” the doctor responds. “We need to check you for injuries but after I can set up some chairs outside her room for you.”
Physically, Finnick was fine. The doctors gave him some fluids and treated some cuts but released him soon after.
He wanted to help you in any way he could. The hospital was running short on blood so he donated some. Unfortunately it couldn’t go to you but Johanna’s blood was able to.
The doctors did a full body scan on Johanna and determined she was clear of any capital additions, meaning she could donate blood and tissue to you. She spent every moment with Finnick, only leaving to grab him some food.
Mags and Annie called daily from 13 but weren’t able to come to the capital yet. District 13 was working on assigning the victors places to stay in the capital until Snow’s execution but they weren’t ready. There was still a lot of cleanup to do.
Beetee flew in two days before your scheduled surgery. He showed Finnick and Johanna the brain scans and explained in technical terms how they were going to extract it without triggering any reactions.
“My hacking abilities allowed me to gain access to the experiment database of the capital’s military lab,” he explains. “A similar experiment was done on some rats around 60 years ago. Luckily we do not believe removing it will cause any further damage to her system.”
“What was it designed to do?” Johanna asks.
“I believe the experiment was designed to trigger a rabies-like reaction in the subject; resulting in their death. However, I hypothesize that the process did not complete itself in her due to the amount of blood she lost. The reaction is transported via the bloodstream so it ceased when there wasn’t enough blood left to continue it,” he explains. “She’s lucky she got here when she did. The doctors told me they’ve never seen someone that low on blood survive for that long. I’m optimistic that once we gain access to the medical equipment in the military hospital she will heal fairly quickly.”
“Thank you,” Finnick responds.
“We’re victors,” Beetee states. “We look out for each other.”
Finnick watches as your bloodied body collapses into a heap at the base of the ladder. Maybe if he tells himself it’s just the sedative doing it’s job then you’ll be fine. Maybe you’ll be ok.
Gale hops back down to help Finnick pull you up to the rest of the squad. Everyone who made it up the ladder seems relatively fine, minus some fresh trauma and minor flesh wounds. You, however, looked more dead than alive.
Finnick’s fingers brush your neck as he feels for a pulse.
“It’s faint but it’s there,” he tells the group, trying to keep himself together. “I’ll carry her.”
Squad 451 exits the sewers, following Cressida to the shop of a woman named Tigris. She leads them to the basement where they can hide out for awhile.
“Have you ever seen this before?” Finnick asks the cat-like woman, referring to the inky nature of your body.
“Hmmm,” the feline purrs. “It looks familiar but I can’t quite put my paw on it. It reminds me of an experiment one of the former game makers used to do on animals but I’ve never seen it in a human before.”
“Do you know what the experiment was?” Finnick asks.
“No,” she hisses. “I only saw the creatures once. My cousin worked with that game maker but he wouldn’t willingly divulge that information to anyone, and certainly not to you.”
“How do we help her?” Katniss asks, looking at your limp form.
“You win this war,” she tells the two victors, slinking her way back upstairs.
Finnick doesn’t sleep a wink, constantly checking your pulse to make sure you are still with him. Katniss used what limited supplies the group had to clean, stitch, and bandage your wounds but she couldn’t do anything about the internal damage using the resources available.
Your fever was gone, signaling to Katniss that the substance had stopped its spread for now. Maybe you bled enough of it out. She could tell, however, that your sleep was not a result of her arrow, but of wounds she couldn’t see.
“Get some rest,” she instructs Finnick. “I’ll watch her.”
The look he gives tells her exactly what his fear is. He can’t lose you.
“If anything happens I’ll wake you,” she assures him.
By morning, nothing had changed. You hadn’t gotten better but you also hadn’t gotten worse.
Snow made an announcement that refugees were being welcomed at the mansion and Katniss made her decision, she had to end this.
The group decided that Katniss and Gale would head out first, followed by the able bodied members of the squad. Peeta and Finnick stayed back with you, unable to stomach the idea of more bloodshed.
After they were dressed in capital disguises, the group began trickling out to join the masses making their way to promised safety.
Katniss had left Finnick the holo in case he needed to be out on the streets. He wanted to carry you to the nearest medical camp but Katniss said you needed to stay put due to all your stitches. She promised to send medics when she could but Finnick was growing impatient.
It was too risky to try and radio for help. If the signal was tracked to your location then you would be swarmed instantly. Finnick had to think of another solution.
“I’ll go find help,” Peeta states.
“No it’s too dangerous,” Finnick shakes his head.
They younger victor doesn’t have time to debate as the building is shook by a nearby explosion. Screams could be heard from the street above and a few bits of plaster fall from the basement ceiling.
“We need to move her,” Finnick states. “Grab a blanket!”
The men wrap your body up in a blanket, hoping it would cushion your stitches enough to move you. They then quickly pull on some capital clothes and venture out onto the street.
People are laying dead everywhere as smoke fills the air. Parents are screaming for their children as they search the rubble and debris.
“I think we should go that way,” Peeta states, pointing away from the chaos. He grips the holo tightly and leads Finnick through a series of alleyways.
Finnick hears a pained moan as you stir in his arms.
“Shhh stay still,” he tells you. “I’m bringing you to medical.”
Your restless bouts continue as the duo of victors makes their way towards the closest known medical station. They make it about halfway when Finnick feels his hand getting wet.
“The stitches,” he mutters as he looks at the blood coating his hand.
“Peeta!” he calls, no longer worried about being recognized. Peeta turns to see the blood seeping through the blanket and makes his decision.
“Stay here with her,” he states. “I’ll go get help.”
Finnick gives the boy a nod before he runs off to find help. He sets you down on the pavement and slowly unwraps the blanket.
One of the gashes in your side had reopened, gushing blood at an alarming rate. Finnick rips a piece of the blanket off to put over the wound, hoping to slow the bleeding.
“Hey,” he says as he notices your eyes opening. “Don’t move.”
“It hurts,” you groan.
“I know love,” Finnick sighs. “Stay with me, ok. Help will be here soon.”