im so serious i need jobs to be a guaranteed right not something thats gatekept behind your ability to socially perform
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@avpdhaunt
im so serious i need jobs to be a guaranteed right not something thats gatekept behind your ability to socially perform
id rather work as the security guard in five nights at freddys than deal with coworkers or customers in any capacity
jobs for people who cant do or handle anything
i just want to make myself as small and insignificant as possible
i hate how long it takes me to warm up to someone let alone even seek out their company, and how quickly i get sick of people. the only reason why my friendships last at all is because im too scared to say anything, plus i could not handle being completely alone ( due to social anxiety ). i feel fucking trapped, no matter how are my relationships going.
— 🎸🦇
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one thing about avpd is that when you consciously do a thing you would normally want to avoid you will feel like eating rocks regardless of how well it went
i feel so guilty for this but i really just want an easy life and i always have. like i hate discomfort i hate striving i hate constantly trying i don’t have much ambition i don’t like it when things are hard. it never built my character it actually just gave me more problems on top of the pre-existing ones. i want very badly for it to feel simple and light and comfortable
AVPD culture is wanting to disappear immediately after saying something personal or even directly stating an opinion
~
expressing myself to literally any degree feels like im committing an unspeakably evil inappropriate act of crossing someones boundaries and forcing myself upon them in a way thats equivalent to assaulting them
having avpd is like being a court jester who is deeply afraid of being unfunny and getting executed for it despite the king being known to not execute people for such reasons. does that make sense. yes no idc
all texts are risky texts if you have sufficient fear in your heart
I generally start regretting every display of emotion I have about five minutes after its over
literally
avpd culture is aauauyhhhhhgggaaggjshsg i cant send that ill be murdered
AUDGYEWBAJAISSLAHSHSQHWNDJSGSO
~
does anyone else ever feel like they are constantly in danger of being punished and controlled and stripped of autonomy or is that just a me thing