hi i just wanna say that your work wassss soo amazing exp that lando norris one with medical student reader, and also im a med stud so i really like how you potray the character the difficulty being a med stud, and i do really hope you could make another medical student reader! xx
thank u sm for this🥹 it honestly means the world!! that lando fic’s super close to my heart too (been thru the whole med grind myself so it def came from the heart lol), so i'm really glad it resonated w you. def planning more med student reader stuff soon so keep an eye out!! <3
She’s Hollywood’s favorite heartbreaker. He’s Formula 1’s golden boy with a heartthrob smile. One offhand comment sparks a secret connection neither of them expected. Between fame, headlines, and disguises, something real begins to bloom—in the steady spaces between the lines.
Pairing: lando norris x actress! reader
Genre: slow burn romance, angst
TW: public shaming, mild swearing, media invasion, verbal argument
PART 1 | PART 2
We met behind my building just after seven.
The back exit wasn’t exactly secret—but no one ever used it, and it opened into an alley that disappeared fast into the side streets. He was already there when I stepped out, hood up, hands in his pockets, black leather jacket slung over one arm, the faintest grin pulling at the corners of his mouth when he saw me.
“I feel like I’m about to get recruited into something illegal,” he said.
I held up a hand. “Close your eyes.”
He raised an eyebrow, amused, but did as I said. I dug into my tote bag, pulled out a pair of oversized black sunglasses and placed them carefully on his face.
“You look fabulous,” I said, grinning wide.
He pulled up his phone, angled it at himself, then laughed. “These look like safety goggles, you trying to sabotage me?”
“No,” I said sweetly. “But you do look like you’re auditioning for The Matrix.”
He flipped the hood down dramatically. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s definitely a thing.”
He stepped closer, holding out the jacket that he’d brought. “Your turn.”
I took it, shrugging it on over my sweatshirt. It was warm from his hands, heavier than I expected, the lining soft against my skin. It hung off my shoulders in that effortless way men’s jackets always do—equal parts ridiculous and part intimate.
“Convincing?” I asked, tugging the collar up.
He stepped back like an appraiser at an auction. “You look like you’re on the run. I’d give you a five-star IMDb credit.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Together, we slipped out into the quiet Manhattan night—heads down, pace casual. Not rushed. Not obvious. Just a pair of silhouettes that didn’t ask for attention.
The bagel shop was just as I remembered it—cramped, warm, faintly chaotic. A haven. A tiny, narrow spot on the edge of SoHo that always smelled like yeast and warm sesame. The walls were lined with photos of celebrities who’d apparently visited over the years, most of them ancient or low-tier enough to not really count. It was mostly locals tonight. A sleepy couple at the window. A guy in scrubs scrolling his phone. No one looked up.
He held the door for me, and I gave a small bow in return, lips twitching.
I ordered us both lox bagels—untoasted, no cream cheese crimes—and we took the corner booth, facing each other across a sticky linoleum table that had probably seen more breakups than birthday parties.
“So,” he said, resting his elbows on the table. “If you weren’t an actress, what would you be?”
I blinked. “That’s a first-date question.”
He raised an eyebrow. “So this is a date?”
I leaned back, smirking. “You’re the one who wore my favorite sunglasses.”
He pointed a finger at me. “You’re deflecting.”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I used to say writer. But I don’t think I’d like being alone with my thoughts that much. Or maybe a florist. Something small and nice.”
“A florist?”
“Don’t mock me,” I warned. “Flowers are emotionally complex.”
He lifted both hands. “I’m not mocking. I’m imagining you wielding scissors dramatically in a silk apron.”
The bagels arrived—warm, shiny, paper-wrapped. He looked like a kid handed a prize.
“Oh my god,” he said, reverent.
“You act like this is the first real food you’ve had in months.”
“I haven’t eaten something made with actual love since preseason testing.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“You’re underestimating this bagel.”
I took out my phone and snapped a picture—of him, of the bagels, the wax paper, the way his sunglasses had slipped slightly down his nose.
He looked up mid-bite. “You’re posting that?”
“No way,” I said, suddenly serious. “I’m still waiting on Leila, remember?”
He chewed, then feigned woundedness “Right. Of course. I’ll just sit here. Mystery man. Anonymous. Abandoned.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re being dramatic.”
“And you’re being cute.”
That shut me up for a second. He smiled at the silence. “You didn’t deny it.”
I shook my head, lips twitching. “Just eat your bagel, Norris.”
We ate slowly. Talked about Tokyo, about bagels, about the worst disguises he’d ever seen other drivers wear in public. He told me a story about Daniel Ricciardo getting mistaken for a street magician in Rome, and I nearly choked on a sip of water.
And somewhere in between bites and laughter, I realized this was maybe the first time in a long time I wasn’t acting. Wasn’t pretending. I was just a girl in borrowed clothes, across the table from someone who saw me—not the headline version, not the performance. Just… me.
When we left, he didn’t take my hand. But his shoulder brushed against me once, just enough for me to feel it. Like a quiet promise. Like a thread waiting to be tugged. And I didn’t pull away.
The city had softened by the time we made our way back.
Shadows stretched longer. Street lamps hummed quietly overhead. We slipped through side alleys and dim corners like ghosts in borrowed clothes, the scent of sesame and rain still clinging faintly to us.
He walked me all the way to the back entrance of my building. Of course he did. No questions, no ask for more. Just… made sure I got home.
We paused at the door. The quiet between us wasn’t awkward—it was waiting.
“Thanks for the bagel,” I said softly.
“Thanks for the sunglasses,” he said, deadpan. “They changed my entire identity.”
I smiled, hand already on the handle. But I didn’t turn it.
He noticed. His voice gentled. “You don’t have to—”
“No, I just…” I hesitated. “It feels rude not to invite you in.”
His brows lifted, almost cautiously. “Really?”
“I mean…” I tucked my hands into the leather jacket sleeves. “It’s not a press thing. Or a headline. Just tea. Maybe a movie. Or silence. If that’s what it is.”
He looked at me carefully, and for a second I saw it—the flicker of doubt. Not rejection, but hesitation. Like he didn’t want to take more than I was offering.
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly. “You don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to feel bad.”
“I don’t.”
He studied me a second longer. “I don’t want to mess this up. And I’d understand if tonight just ended here. It wouldn’t offend me.”
I stepped a little closer, voice low. “You’re not messing anything up. I asked you in because I want to. Not because I feel guilty.”
A beat passed. He nodded, barely, then smiled—small, careful, real.
“In that case,” he said, “I’ll take you up on the tea.”
And just like that, I opened the door. Let him step inside.
Still in our disguises. Still under borrowed names. But something about it—this night, this quiet—felt like the most honest thing I’d done in months.
The door clicked shut behind us with a soft, final sound.
I stepped out of my shoes, unzipping the borrowed leather jacket as I gestured him in. “You can leave those by the door. Chili hates shoes on the rug—acts like it’s a personal insult.”
“Chili?” he asked, just as a low whir echoed from the living room.
My cleaning robot rolled into view from beneath the sofa like it had been lying in wait for this dramatic entrance.
“Oh shit,” Lando jumped a little, backing a step toward the wall, hands slightly raised like he was being approached by a very polite bomb. “Is that thing armed?”
I laughed, tossing my keys into the ceramic bowl by the door. “Just with passive aggression. It’s got one job and a superiority complex.”
Lando narrowed his eyes at it, then looked around slowly as he peeled off his hoodie. “So this is where the mysterious Hollywood heartbreaker hides.”
I rolled my eyes and padded toward the kitchen. “Don’t let the furniture fool you.”
But he didn’t follow me right away. He drifted through the entry instead, running his fingers along the edge of a low bookshelf. His gaze trailed the spines—plays, scripts, film theory, poetry. A few cracked-spined paperbacks. A vase filled with yellow daisies. A silver trophy glinted from one end.
“You have an award for best original monologue at seventeen,” he read, a crooked smile tugging at his mouth.
“Prestigious, right?” I called. “Beat a girl who quoted Shakespeare in a southern accent.”
He laughed softly and stepped further in.
Then—A small, soft weight pressed against his ankle. Chili.
My cat blinked up at him, then rubbed her face deliberately against the side of his feet. Then his shin. Then flopped in a full-bodied purr against the floor like they’d been longtime conspirators.
I froze mid-step.
Lando blinked down at her. “Is she… okay?”
“She hates people,” I said slowly. “She once hissed at Josh for sneezing near her.”
But Chili was now curled around his feet like he was the second coming of tuna.
Lando leaned down, cautiously scratching behind her ear. “Hey, little traitor.”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Don’t be jealous,” he said with a smirk, glancing up. “She knows I’m sensitive. We vibe.”
I just shook my head, trying not to smile too wide.
He moved toward the hallway while I filled the kettle, his eyes catching the framed photo wall just outside the bedroom. Dozens of black-and-white prints, all in a tidy grid—me on set, me with Andrea, a few candids with Josh at beach bonfires or airport gates. My parents, young and sepia-toned. A birthday party in blurry focus. Chili as a kitten, biting a birthday candle.
He paused at one.
“Wait—this guy. I saw him with you at Suzuka.”
I leaned out from the kitchen, smiling. “Yeah. That’s Josh.”
Lando turned, brow raised. “Josh...?”
“My brother. Technically my older brother, though emotionally I’ve got the edge.”
He grinned. “So he’s the reason you showed up to the race.”
“Yup. Dragged me halfway across the world for a weekend in the paddock. I bribed him with free skincare samples to keep his mouth shut about it.”
He was still looking at the photo. “He seems cool.”
“He is. He’s the reason I haven’t lost my mind yet. Or burned every bridge with a flamethrower.”
I turned back to pour the tea, then called over my shoulder. “You want peppermint or the sleepy one with valerian root that tastes like forest floor?”
“Sleepy forest dirt, please.”
A beat passed. Then he appeared at the edge of the kitchen, leaned against the doorframe, arms folded, that softened look back in his eyes.
“Nice place,” he said. “It’s very you.”
I handed him the mug, our fingers brushing for a second too long. “You say that like you’ve figured me out.”
He smiled into his cup. “No. Just… catching pieces.”
We settled into the sofa like we’d done it before—me cross-legged with a blanket over my knees, Chili curled between us like a smug little chaperone, and Lando sunk low into the cushions, his tea steaming gently in his hands.
Outside, the city had gone quiet. The occasional car passed below. The sound of my neighbor’s TV filtered faintly through the wall. Nothing demanded us. Nothing interrupted.
He tilted his head toward the photo wall again, eyes thoughtful. “You’ve lived a lot of lives already.”
I shrugged. “Comes with the job.”
“Must be weird though. Letting people believe they know you from the outside.”
I smiled faintly, swirling my tea. “Yeah. You’d be surprised how many people think I’m the same person they saw in that one movie where I threw a chair through a glass door.”
He snorted. “Okay, but it was a good scene.”
“That wasn’t even in the script,” I said, smirking.
He turned toward me, really turned this time, one arm slung across the back of the couch. “So what’s the real you, then? You always this cryptic?”
“Only with guys who wear my sunglasses better than I do.”
He laughed again, soft and genuine, and my gaze flicked to his face before I could stop myself.
I hadn’t noticed it before—not in the photos, not on the screen, not even at the race.
But his eyes weren’t just green.
They were layered—shifting with the light, like sea glass. A pale, stormy aquamarine that caught flecks of grey near the pupil. They tilted up slightly at the corners when he smiled. His lashes were longer than I expected, dark and curled at the ends, soft as smudged charcoal. There were freckles, too—barely there, scattered across the bridge of his nose like someone had dusted them on in a rush.
Details you wouldn’t catch unless you were looking. Unless you wanted to look.
He noticed me staring, but didn’t say anything. Just held my gaze for a beat longer than necessary. “I like you.”
Simple. No buildup. No trapdoor beneath it.
I blinked. “That so?”
He nodded once. “I don’t know where it goes. Or what it is. But I like being near you. Talking to you. Even when you’re deflecting with sarcasm and vague metaphors.”
“That’s my brand,” I muttered.
He smiled again, smaller this time. “I’m not asking for all of you. But I’m not gonna lie about what I feel.”
That caught somewhere in my chest—hot and sharp and dangerous.
I set my tea down on the side table. Carefully. Like I could pretend my hands didn’t tremble.
“I’m not easy,” I said softly.
He looked at me, brow raised—not surprised, just listening.
“I disappear sometimes,” I added. “Not physically. But mentally. Emotionally. I can... slip into things too deep. Characters. Pressure. Whole other versions of myself. I become the role. And sometimes it takes me a while to come back.”
He didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. Instead, he leaned forward just slightly and asked, “And if I wait, will you?”
My throat tightened. I looked down—at Chili asleep between us, at our tea mugs, at the place where our knees brushed beneath the blanket.
“Maybe,” I whispered. “If I know it’s worth coming back to.”
His hand moved—not forceful, not demanding—just rested lightly over mine. Warm. Steady.
“I think it might be,” he said.
I looked up. His eyes—those not-green, not-blue, not-just-anything eyes—were still on me. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to disappear.
We stayed like that for a while. His hand resting lightly over mine. Neither of us moving. The apartment had dimmed into something softer—just the amber flicker from the floor lamp and the slow breaths of a cat who, for once, didn’t seem interested in policing the room.
I shifted slightly, letting my body turn toward him more fully.
“Can I ask you something?” I said, voice low.
He nodded, thumb brushing gently against my hand. “Anything.”
“Do you…” I hesitated. “Do you love it? Racing, I mean. Or is it just something you’re good at?”
Lando looked up at the ceiling for a long beat. His voice, when it came, was softer than I expected.
“I do,” he said. “Most days. There’s nothing like it. The speed, the control—or lack of it. You feel alive in a way that’s hard to explain.”
I watched his face in profile, the way the light hit his cheekbone, the small furrow between his brows.
“But sometimes,” he continued, “it’s exhausting. Not the driving part. The rest. The noise. The pressure. People trying to write your story before you get to live it.”
I swallowed. “I get that.”
He turned to face me again. “I know you do.”
There was a pause. Then I asked, “And your family? Do they come to races?”
He smiled a little, eyes softening. “Sometimes. My mum comes when she can. My dad used to. He’s proud, just… not always present. It’s complicated.”
“Isn’t it always?”
He let out a quiet laugh. “What about yours?”
I tucked my feet under me, fingers curling slightly in the blanket. “We’re close. Not perfect. But close. Josh is kind of my anchor.”
“I figured.”
I looked at him. “How?”
“The way you talk about him. Like he sees all of you.”
I didn’t say anything right away. Just held his gaze.
Then I said, quietly, “Most people only want to see the version that fits their idea. Pretty. Polished. Unmessy.”
“You’re not messy,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t I?”
He leaned in just slightly. “You’re layered. That’s different.”
My heart gave a quiet tug at that.
He saw me—really saw me—and didn’t flinch.
I glanced down at our hands again, then murmured, “I’ve been in relationships where I felt like I had to shrink myself. Make myself simpler. Quieter. Easier to understand.”
Lando’s brow creased, but he didn’t interrupt.
“I think I convinced myself that was the price of being wanted,” I went on. “That if I made too much noise or needed too much space, they’d leave. And most of them did.”
Silence fell again, gentle but weighted.
Then I said it—slipped, like I hadn’t meant to, like it tumbled out of the space between honesty and fear. “But you… you’re different. I didn’t see you coming. And now you’re just… here.”
His eyes softened. “Do you want me to be?”
I didn’t answer right away. My chest was too full. My pulse too loud. But I nodded, slow. Certain.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I do.”
He shifted closer, his voice low, velvet-wrapped. “Then I’ll stay. As long as you want me to.”
I looked up again, into those not-green eyes with oceans in them, and felt something steady click into place inside me.
Not fireworks. Not chaos. Just… peace.
He was still watching me.
Not in the way men look at me. Not like I was something to frame or claim. But like I was something he’d been trying to understand—and now, finally, did. I felt it building in the quiet. That slow and steady tilt toward something we hadn’t named yet. The way the room felt too small. The way my pulse rose like it was answering a call.
I looked at his mouth. Then away. Then back again. Lando didn’t move. Not toward me. Not away.
He just… waited.
And maybe that’s what did it. The fact that he didn’t chase the moment. He held it.
A space. An offering.
My heart thudded once, sharp and deep, before I whispered, “I don’t usually do this.”
His voice was steady. “Do what?”
“This,” I said. “Let someone in before I can.. label it.”
His expression didn’t shift. But I saw the way his fingers curled slightly in the blanket. The way his breath caught.
“Then don’t label it,” he said. “Just feel it.”
My chest rose, then fell. I almost said no. Almost turned away again, back into safety, back into the armor I’d spent years learning to wear so well.
But instead—I leaned in. Just a breath at first. Enough to see if he’d meet me there.
He did. His hand rose gently to my cheek, thumb brushing the corner of my jaw like he’d been thinking about that moment longer than I had.
And then—our mouths met.
Soft at first. Not demanding. Not frantic. Just a quiet, reverent kind of kiss. Like we were both trying to memorize something that might vanish if we weren’t careful. He tasted like tea and something sweeter—warmth, maybe. Or relief.
And when I didn’t pull away, when I leaned just a little closer—his other hand found the curve of my waist, anchoring me like I might float off. I broke the kiss first, breathless and blinking.
He didn’t speak. Just touched his forehead to mine. I smiled. Tiny. Unsteady.
“That was unexpected,” I whispered.
Lando grinned against my cheek. “You kissed me.”
“I did.”
“I liked it.”
I huffed a laugh, suddenly shy. “Yeah. Me too.”
We didn’t rush the moment. Just let it hum around us. Chili snored softly between our legs, completely uninterested in our romantic revelation.
We stayed there for a while—curled into the quiet, the air between us warm and slow.
But eventually, the clock crept forward. He shifted first, glancing at the time on his phone, then winced. “Shit. I should go.”
I sat up, hair falling from where it had been lazily tucked. “Right. Bahrain.”
He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “My flight’s early. I haven’t packed. Or slept.”
I stood with him, Chili now curled into a dramatic sideways sprawl across the rug like she’d personally bonded and couldn’t believe we were tearing the family apart.
At the door, Lando hesitated. One hand already on the knob, hoodie back on. “Thanks for tonight.”
“For the bagel?” I teased.
He grinned. “For not running.”
That quiet stretched again. Soft and close.
And this time, I kissed him. Not uncertain or hesitant—just warm. Familiar already. My hand at the collar of his hoodie, his at my waist.
When I pulled away, he rested his forehead lightly against mine. “That’s twice now,” he murmured.
“Mhm.”
He leaned back just enough to look at me. “Okay but—hear me out—if I’ve kissed you twice, does that mean I can finally get your number? Or are we gonna keep doing flirty DMs like we’re in high school?”
I snorted. “You’re the one who opened with ‘hey.’”
“And you answered. Eventually.”
I smiled and took his phone when he offered it, typing in my number, then giving it a second before adding, “Undercover Bagel Queen. Just to keep you humble.”
His laugh was soft but bright. “Perfect.”
Another pause. Neither of us quite moving. Then he said, quieter, “I’ll see you soon?”
I nodded. “Good luck in Bahrain.”
He hesitated, then kissed me again. Short. Certain. A promise wrapped in brevity. And then he slipped through the door and disappeared into the early hours of morning, leaving nothing behind but the scent of his hoodie, a name on my phone, and the steady thrum in my chest.
The next morning came fast, pulled in by the scent of coffee, the soft clatter of hangers, and the low murmur of a glam team already in rhythm. I’d barely had time to brush my teeth before a stylist was zipping me into the first look—cream silk, draped like water, pinned just so.
The studio was downtown. Raw floors. Pale light. Mood boards pinned to cork walls and someone always adjusting a fan. It was a campaign shoot for a luxury brand—clean silhouettes, quiet luxury, cold expressions. The kind of thing I could do half-asleep. But today, I was alert. Bracing.
“Head up just a touch—yes, there.”
Click.
“Brow softer.”
Click.
“Don’t blink yet—okay, beautiful.”
It went on like that for hours. Shot after shot, look after look. Silk dresses, tailored coats, jewelry layered like whispers. I changed behind a folding screen that smelled faintly of glue and steam, snacking on cubes of mango between outfit swaps. The glam team fluttered around me like quiet butterflies, fixing stray hairs and smoothing lip tint.
Between wardrobe changes, I finally glanced at my phone. A single message from Lando.
Lando:
landed. still thinking about that tea, your robot, and your cat who’s now legally mine.
I smiled, thumb grazing the screen. I didn’t reply right away.
The next setup was moody—cool light, darker wardrobe. I sat on a velvet stool in a black structured coat, ankle boots laced up tight, smoky liner smudged just enough to look like I hadn't slept (which, ironically, I hadn’t). I tilted my chin and held still while the photographer adjusted a filter.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Hours passed. A late lunch was brought in—a tray of seared tuna, pickled daikon, rice I didn’t touch. My assistant gently nudged the tray toward me, and I gave her a grateful look but waved it off. Too jittery to eat.
I checked my phone again while waiting for touch-ups. Another message had arrived.
Lando:
hope today’s going okay. if anyone gives you a hard time just tell them your bodyguard is on a racetrack somewhere, waiting
I bit the inside of my cheek, warmth crawling up my neck.
Still, I didn’t answer. Not yet.
Instead, I turned back to the camera, letting the lens swallow me again. Posing, tilting, holding the emotion in my eyes like it was a secret only I knew. Between shots, I thought of Bahrain. Of his hoodie in my closet. Of how his laugh had sounded in my kitchen, startled by Chili’s dramatic entrance like a guest star in a soap opera.
When we wrapped, it was nearly dusk. I peeled off the last look—wide-legged white trousers and a backless blouse—and slipped into my own clothes: high-waisted jeans, a soft navy sweater, my hair still curled around my shoulders.
Outside, the air smelled like the city winding down. Orange light filtered through the trees. I climbed into the car waiting out front and finally opened our thread again.
I stared at it for a moment—thumb poised—then typed:
You:
long day. but i made it through. no bodyguard necessary
unless you count the curling iron i almost threw at someone
He replied within minutes.
Lando:
i like it. want me to send in backup anyway? i’ve got some sunglasses and a black hoodie that miss you.
I smiled, finally letting myself lean back into the seat. The day was done. But him? He was still there.
In my phone. In my thoughts. And, inconveniently, in the place I’d spent so long keeping off-limits.
Josh showed up the next morning with bagels.
Well—technically, he claimed they were “just in the neighborhood,” but he had Chili’s favorite treats in one hand and an oat latte in the other, which meant this was a full-on emotional wellness check disguised as brunch.
I let them in, still in my robe, hair damp from the shower.
Andrea followed behind, balancing her phone, sunglasses, and a very large iced coffee. “You look tired,” she said without judgment.
“I was up late,” I murmured, padding barefoot toward the kitchen.
Josh raised a brow as he dropped the bag of bagels on the counter. “Working?”
“Not exactly.”
Andrea narrowed her eyes. I stayed quiet, tearing off a piece of cinnamon bagel and chewing slowly. Josh leaned against the counter, waiting.
Andrea crossed her arms. “Okay, out with it.”
I looked between them. “Lando came over. The night before his flight to Bahrain.”
Andrea blinked. “Wait—what?”
“You said you were just walking him out—”
“I was,” I said quietly, brushing crumbs from my fingertips. “But I asked him up. We talked. A lot. It felt... like something.”
Josh frowned. “You invited him up? Into your apartment?”
Andrea shot him a look. “She’s an adult, Josh.”
“I know, I’m just—Jesus. Lando Norris? Like, Lando?”
I gave him a flat look. “Yes. Like Lando.”
He ran a hand through his hair, muttering, “I haven't even talk to the guy yet and he's already walking around your apartment like it’s home base.”
“He didn’t walk around. He was polite,” I said defensively.
Andrea raised a brow. “Did Chili like him?”
I hesitated. “He... snuggled his foot.”
Andrea gasped. “Chili? Our antisocial queen of darkness? She snuggled a man?”
“She’s never done that with anyone,” I muttered, half to myself. “Ever.”
Josh folded his arms. “Okay, now I want to meet him. Because either he’s a cat whisperer or a very attractive demon.”
“Possibly both,” Andrea deadpanned. “So you are telling me you had a thing—a night—with Lando Norris, and then went to a shoot the next morning like it was nothing?”
“I’m telling you it didn’t feel like nothing,” I said softly.
They both fell quiet. Chili trotted in, bumping against Josh’s ankle before curling up beneath the stool like an old lady clocking in for her day shift.
I exhaled, finally saying it. “I don’t know what this is. We’re texting. Talking. He came back to see me, guys. And it’s not... superficial. Not just flirtation. I think he sees me, which is terrifying, because I don’t know how to do this halfway.”
Andrea’s expression shifted—softening, but still wary. “Do you want something with him?”
I hesitated. Then nodded. “I might. I don’t know what it is yet. But I might be starting something.”
Josh, bless him, just reached across the counter and offered me the other half of his bagel. “Okay..but I reserve the right to interrogate him.”
Andrea’s gaze lingered on me. “You know the timing’s tricky. The chemistry read, Leila, the press still poking around…”
“I know.”
“You’ll have to protect this. And yourself.”
“I’m trying,” I said. “But I also don’t want to keep living like I’m preparing for damage control. I’m tired of always expecting the fallout before I let myself enjoy what’s good.”
For a long moment, no one said anything.
Then Andrea lifted her coffee, clinked it lightly against my tea mug. “Okay. If you’re in it—then we’ll be in it with you. But stay smart. And don’t let him distract you from the read.”
“I won’t,” I said. “But he’s not a distraction. He’s... something else.”
Josh grinned. “Sounds like someone’s caught feelings.”
“Shut up,” I muttered, hiding my smile in the rim of my mug.
Andrea just gave me a knowing look. “Then go nail that chemistry read. Be Leila. And if you fall a little more for him in the meantime, just don’t trip. We’ll figure out the rest after.”
The callback was set in a downtown studio with high ceilings, industrial beams, and the kind of lighting that made everyone look vaguely cinematic. I arrived early, script in hand, coffee half-drunk, headphones in but no music playing. Just noise-cancelling silence. I needed that kind of focus today.
I checked in with the front desk and walked slowly through the waiting area, aware of every eye. Arden Lin’s team was huddled near the corner couch, all sleek hair, black blazers, and controlled whispers. Arden herself was in a sharp ivory trench, skimming through something on her iPad with the kind of poise only someone raised inside a camera flash could fake that effortlessly.
She didn’t look up as I walked past. But her agent did.
Margo Hart. Forty, glass cheekbones, and a reputation for knowing exactly where to place a knife between someone’s shoulder blades.
Andrea caught up to me just as we rounded the hallway corner.
“They changed the scene,” she said, too fast, too quiet.
I blinked. “What?”
“They switched it out this morning. Sent an email to your agency’s general inbox—at 2:14 a.m.”
My stomach sank. “Did you get it?”
“I only found it twenty minutes ago when I refreshed obsessively. I asked production—they said it went out, so technically it’s fair game.”
“Did Arden get it?”
Andrea gave me a flat look. “She has her own team of flying monkeys. Of course she got it.”
“Was it her agent?”
“It’s always her agent.”
I closed my eyes, bracing myself against the wave of heat creeping up my spine. I’d rehearsed the previous scene for a week, carved it out with pauses and shadows and precision. I was ready for that Leila. Not this one.
“What’s the scene?”
Andrea handed me the fresh pages. “Scene 32. The one where she refused to come to her mother’s funeral.”
The one I’d only done once. The scene that sat heavier on my chest than any of the others.
Grief and rage and resignation—no flash, no dramatic monologue to dazzle them with. Just rawness. Leila as a mirror. Quiet. Shattered.
“Five minutes,” the assistant called from the hallway.
I didn’t flinch. Just took the pages and walked down the corridor toward the rehearsal room.
I wouldn’t let them see me rattle.
Reed was already in position, leaning against the prop kitchen counter in a grey T-shirt and dark jeans. He nodded when I entered, a professional kind of familiarity—not warm, but not cold.
Julian Kassner sat in his chair at the back of the room like a king observing a duel. His gaze flicked from the script in his lap to my face, unreadable. The producer beside him whispered something. Julian didn’t react.
“All right,” he said. “Let’s begin. Scene 32.”
I stepped into place.
The room was too quiet. I could feel the shape of every breath I took.
Reed started. “You’re not even going to the funeral?”
I didn’t rush. Leila didn’t rush. Not in this scene.
“She wouldn’t have wanted me there,” I said quietly, my voice low, even. I stared past Reed—at something only Leila could see.
Reed sighed, folding his arms. “You say that like it makes it okay.”
“She’s dead, Luke,” I said, slowly. “What I do now doesn’t hurt her anymore.”
The silence cracked for a beat.
“You’re unbelievable,” he snapped, voice rising.
And I let it happen. Let Reed huff and pace and accuse.
Then I looked up. Not as Y/N. Not even as Leila the actress.
I looked up like I was Leila. Broken. Drenched in shame so deep it had gone quiet. And I delivered the rest of the scene with nothing but stillness.
“I spent the last year wishing she’d call,” I said. “Wishing she'd say she forgave me. That she still saw me as a daughter. But she didn’t. Not once.”
My hands shook, just slightly. Not for show.
Reed fell silent.
“She didn’t call. She didn’t forgive. And now she’s gone.”
A pause. Just long enough.
“So no, I’m not going to the funeral. I’m not going to stand in a room full of people pretending we were fine.”
And then—just before the cue to exit—I whispered, “I’m done pretending.”
The final beat hit the room like a match dropped in water. No applause. Just presence.
Reed looked over, unsure if the scene had ended.
Julian raised a hand. “That’s enough.”
I exhaled, only then realizing how tightly I’d been holding the air in my chest. My palms were slick.
“Thank you,” Julian said. “We’ll be in touch.”
I nodded once and stepped out, back into the corridor, into the brisk air of the hallway like I’d been underwater. Andrea was waiting at the far end. Her phone was already buzzing.
“Don’t react,” she whispered, holding it out. A message from Kassner’s assistant.
Julian would like to meet with Y/N privately. Now.
His office was tucked inside the studio’s upper floor, tucked behind an unmarked door with a keypad and exactly zero effort made to appear inviting.
The assistant opened it for me.
Julian was standing with his back to me when I entered, staring out a window that looked over some part of West Hollywood that still hadn’t been gentrified to death.
“You closed the space between the silences,” he said, without turning. “Most actors can’t do that. They fill it with tension. You filled it with regret.”
I stayed still. “Thank you.”
He turned, finally.
“I watched your earlier tapes,” he said, stepping to the small round table near the window. “You had energy. Technique. But this… was new. You finally stopped performing the pain.”
I swallowed. “I didn’t expect the scene change. I—I didn’t get the updated pages until an hour ago.”
He tilted his head. “Did that rattle you?”
“I didn’t let it.”
He studied me for a long moment. Then nodded. “Good.”
He gestured for me to sit. I did, spine straight.
“I’m seeing Arden next,” he said, casually. “But I’m telling you this now because I don’t want the decision to feel like a competition. It’s not. It’s about who is Leila. Not who can act her best.”
I nodded once, trying not to grip the arms of the chair.
Julian didn’t smile. He wasn’t the kind of man who needed to.
“You’re mine to lose now,” he said simply. “Don’t lose it.”
That was it.
He stood. So did I. The meeting was done before I could fully process it.
As I reached for the door, he added, almost as an afterthought:
“Oh—and I don’t care what the tabloids say. But keep your face out of them for the next month.”
“I’ll try.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Try harder.”
I left the room with no clear promise, no contract, no congratulations. But I didn’t need them.
Because that was Julian Kassner’s version of a yes.
The Bahrain sun flared across my television in golden, late-afternoon haze. I was curled into one corner of the sectional, wearing an old college hoodie, fuzzy socks, and the faint remains of concealer from a photoshoot I’d refused to take off properly. A bowl of popcorn balanced dangerously on my lap.
Chili was dead asleep next to me, limbs splayed in her usual chaotic pattern, her tiny chest rising and falling like none of this race-day chaos could possibly concern her. Josh had already claimed the opposite end of the couch, limbs everywhere, chips in one hand, his phone in the other as he refreshed live timing like his life depended on it.
“Ten bucks says Lando gets second,” he said through a mouthful of salt and vinegar crisps. “Solid strategy, but Ferrari’s faster in sectors two and three.”
I scoffed. “Josh. Where’s the faith?”
“Faith doesn’t win races. Pace does.”
“Okay. Harsh. But also, like… true.”
He grinned and shoved another chip into his mouth. “Come on, your British crush is about to go wheel-to-wheel with Leclerc in turn four. If he gets past him—”
“Shh,” I hissed. “This is my sacred moment.”
And then came lights out.
Engines howled through the television like a swarm of bees on fire. I sat upright without realizing it, popcorn bowl forgotten as the field launched forward into the first corner. The McLaren shot clean into second behind Max, holding firm through the opening chaos.
The tension in my chest didn’t ease for the next hour. Every time the camera cut to Lando—tight jaw, gloved hands precise on the wheel, calm beneath chaos—I felt the hum of something too electric to name. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe something worse. Something real.
I grabbed my phone around Lap 38, my pulse still stuttering.
You:
you’re driving like a man with something to prove
I didn’t expect a reply. Of course I didn’t. He was doing 200 mph under desert lights. But still—I sent it. Quietly. Just to put something soft into the air between us.
Josh raised an eyebrow when I exhaled after. “You good?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure? You’re blinking like someone just proposed.”
“I’m fine. Shut up.”
And then the final laps hit. Three cars within DRS range. A pit window that opened and slammed shut. A move Lando made on Leclerc that was so smooth, so clean I actually clutched a throw pillow to my chest.
I was up by the last lap. No longer seated. Pacing in front of the TV like a producer watching live dailies. Josh had gone quiet, which never happened unless something serious was brewing.
And then—out of nowhere, like something divine—he did it.
Lando Norris crossed the checkered flag first.
He won.
I screamed.
Not a cute, TV sitcom girl scream. A real scream. One that came from the depths of my chest like I’d been holding it in for years.
“OH MY GOD,” I gasped, jumping three feet in the air.
Chili bolted off the couch, horrified.
Josh shouted, “WHAT THE HELL—HE ACTUALLY WON—HOLY SHIT.”
I collapsed back into the cushions, hands over my face, half-laughing, half-hyperventilating.
“Okay, okay,” Josh said, breathless. “Are you gonna cry? You look like you’re about to cry.”
“I am crying,” I said through a grin. “Shut up.”
He laughed. “Oh my God, this is disgusting. You’re in love.”
“Shut up!”
On the screen, Lando was already unstrapping himself from the cockpit. The helmet came off. His curls were sweat-damp, his eyes skyward, mouth stretching into the kind of smile that made everything else disappear.
He didn’t look for the cameras. He didn’t throw his arms up toward the crowd first.
He looked up—like he always did.
I clutched the pillow to my chest, unable to stop smiling. My whole body was vibrating, like I’d been plugged into a socket.
Josh threw a chip at my head. “Hey. You wanna text your boyfriend or what?”
“He’s not—” I started, then trailed off.
Because yeah. Maybe not officially. Maybe not in headlines. Maybe not in Instagram posts or red carpets or post-race interviews.
But here, in this room, with my heart beating so loud I could barely hear the broadcast—
He was mine.
In a way that felt terrifying and new.
I picked up my phone, hands still trembling a little, and opened our chat.
I didn’t know what to say yet. But I knew he’d feel it when I did.
My phone buzzed sometime during the cooldown lap. I didn’t notice right away—too busy watching him climb from the car and disappear into a blur of mechanics, engineers, camera flashes, and sky. The whole paddock swarmed with orange and champagne and a kind of chaos that made me feel far away and much, much too close at once.
Then it buzzed again.
I glanced down.
Lando
did you scream
be honest
I blinked. Then let out a breath that turned into a laugh. A full-body one.
You:
i think i startled my cat and emotionally traumatized my brother
so yes. i screamed.
A beat.
Lando:
good.
that was kind of for you
and for the team and the sponsors and the years of work etc etc
but also. mostly. yeah. for you.
My fingers froze over the keyboard. That’s the thing about texting. You can see the words before you send them. You can stare at them, doubt them, revise them. You can take your time with the truth.
But I didn’t want to take my time anymore.
You:
i felt it
every turn
congrats, lando. you were beautiful out there
The typing bubble appeared. Disappeared. Reappeared.
Lando:
thanks
means more than you know
also
can you believe you almost didn’t reply to my “hey”
I smiled. Curled deeper into the couch, pulling the blanket around me like I could bottle this moment and keep it forever.
You:
almost doesn’t count
and now look at us
you, world’s fastest man. me, your #1 couch-side fan with a popcorn stain on her shirt
He didn’t answer right away. And for once, I didn’t need him to.
Because sometimes, when someone sees you from the middle of a crowd—when they drive like you matter, when they look up first, when they say it was kind of for you—the silence they leave behind isn’t empty.
It’s full. Of promise. Of heat. Of everything between the lines.
I woke to a dozen texts and three missed calls—two from Andrea, one from my stylist, and one suspiciously unknown number that I knew better than to answer.
But it wasn’t until I opened Instagram that I realized what had happened.
Josh.
He’d posted a story late last night, sometime after we’d devoured the leftover Chinese food and crashed sideways across the couch in a pile of limbs, cat, and race adrenaline.
The clip was short—just a few seconds long. A grainy video of the TV in our living room, showing Lando on the Bahrain podium, grinning like the sun had cracked open inside his chest. Arms up. Champagne raining down. That moment.
It could’ve been any fan post.
Except for the sound.
The faint whoop of Josh’s yell, unmistakable and loud—“MY BOYYYYY” echoed obnoxiously from the background.
And layered beneath it, quieter, barely audible but somehow everywhere—
My voice.
You couldn’t hear what I said exactly, but it was me. My cadence. My laugh. The sound I made when I was trying not to cry and cheer at the same time. The part where I said softly, “He actually did it,” right before Chili meowed in celebration and Josh screamed again.
I stared at it in horror. Then I pressed play again.
Over and over. Nothing definitive. But enough. Enough for the internet to start sharpening its knives.
@celebcircuit:
did anyone else hear a female voice in the background of Josh Y/L/N’s Bahrain story or am I delusional 🫣👀👀
@fastlaneinsider:
not saying it’s y/n y/l/n watching lando win the bahrain gp from her couch but like… it’s definitely y/n y/l/n watching lando win the bahrain gp from her couch
@popculturecrimeunit:
she wasn’t at the GP. she hasn’t posted. but she’s always quiet before a storm.
i’m telling you—those rumors weren’t fake.
@sweetandslipstream:
the soft voice in josh’s story is KILLING ME. she sounds so proud of him. what the hell is this slow-burn enemies-to-secret-lovers-to-racewife rollout they’re doing
I threw my phone onto the couch and flopped back with a groan, burying my face in the sleeve of my hoodie.
“Josh!” I yelled.
His voice came from the kitchen, unapologetic and smug. “What?”
“Did you post a video of my TV last night?”
He paused. “Maybe.”
“Did you forget I was talking in it?”
“I thought it was just background noise!” he shouted back.
“JOSH.”
“What? It was a good clip!”
I groaned louder. Chili jumped up next to me on the couch, tail wagging like she had no idea her human’s carefully controlled public narrative was currently unraveling on stan Twitter.
My phone buzzed again. Andrea.
I didn’t answer. Not yet.
Because I was still processing what it meant—this new, irreversible shift in the story. Not because of a statement. Not a red carpet. Not a caption or a quote. But a blurry 7-second video of a boy on a podium, and a voice in the background that had been mine.
My phone buzzed again. This time I didn’t throw it.
Andrea’s name blinked on the screen like it knew I’d been trying to avoid her. I sighed, pulled my knees up onto the couch, and answered.
“Before you say anything,” I said quickly, “I didn’t post a thing. I haven’t commented. I haven’t liked. I haven’t even breathed in public.”
A beat of silence.
Then: “Josh’s Instagram story has three million views.”
I winced. “I know.”
“And do you know how many times I’ve watched it with my volume at full blast trying to figure out if that soft gasp of joy was actually your voice?”
“I wasn’t gasping joyfully, I was... exhaling.”
“Oh my god,” Andrea groaned. “You exhaled romantically.”
I buried my face in my hoodie again. “I’m sorry.”
“No, babe. Don’t apologize for being happy,” she said, and her voice softened just a little. “Just... do me a favor. Tell me exactly what they could piece together if they tried.”
I breathed in. “I was at home. With Josh. We watched the race. He posted the TV screen. I might’ve said something like ‘he actually did it’ in the background. That’s it. There’s no face. No confirmation.”
“And Lando?”
“No texts this morning.”
Andrea let out a long sigh. “Good. Keep it that way—for now. Because you’re this close, Y/N. Kassner’s already circling. You did everything right in that room, but it’s not signed. Not yet.”
“I know,” I murmured.
“And until it’s official, I’m not letting a blurry soundbite from your brother’s IG story take Leila away from you.”
I hesitated. “But he did say—”
“I know what he said,” she cut in gently. “Julian saying ‘you’re the one’ is huge. But until it’s in writing, we don’t breathe easy. We don’t blink.”
I nodded slowly, even though she couldn’t see me. “Right.”
“Can you do that for me? Just a little longer?” Andrea asked. “Don’t give the internet something to twist. Let them speculate. Let the rumor cycle burn itself out.”
A beat passed.
Then I asked, quietly, “What if I don’t want to hide anymore?”
Andrea was silent for a second.
Then she said, “Then we’ll deal with that after your contract is signed. And after you’re on set. And after no one—not even a fake-coughing publicist with a vendetta—can take this away from you.”
I smiled faintly. “That’s a lot of afters.”
“Welcome to Hollywood.”
I exhaled. “Thank you, Andrea.”
“For what?”
“For always fighting for the version of me I haven’t even fully caught up to yet.”
That got me a pause. Then, quietly, “I only fight for what I believe in, babe.”
We hung up a moment later.
I stared out at the window—Chili asleep on the arm of the couch, the race still replaying faintly in my head, Lando’s grin etched behind my eyes.
I didn’t hear from him all day.
No message. No meme. No post-race joke about me screaming at my television. Just silence.
By hour four, I told myself he was resting.
By hour seven, I’d convinced myself he was at some wild celebration where phones didn’t survive the first round of tequila.
By hour ten, I was spiraling.
I checked his socials—not obsessively, just... thoroughly. He hadn’t posted a thing. McLaren’s official account had three carousel posts of champagne, confetti, and that wide, giddy grin of his on the podium. I stared at the third slide a little too long.
He looked... incandescent. Like someone who'd just touched a dream and left a fingerprint on the stars.
And yet—Nothing. Not even a “Still alive. Slightly drunk. Thinking of you.”
I curled up on the couch, phone on my chest, heart doing the exact opposite of what it was supposed to do after a win.
“Maybe he just—” I started aloud, then stopped. Even Chili looked at me like I was grasping.
I exhaled sharply and unlocked my phone again. Fingers hovering. Typing, deleting, typing again.
Y/N: hey jus wanted to say congrats again—
Backspace.
Y/N: are you alive lmfao
Backspace.
Y/N: I know you’re probably busy but—
The doorbell rang.
I froze. Chili lifted her head, ears perked. I blinked once, then stood slowly, heart climbing up into my throat like it knew something I didn’t. The intercom screen buzzed to life.
And there he was. Hoodie up. Eyes a little tired, lips tugged into the faintest smile. Him. I stared at the screen like I was hallucinating.
Then I hit the speaker button. “…what are you doing here?” I asked, voice caught between a laugh and disbelief.
Lando tilted his head, like it should’ve been obvious. “I was in the neighborhood. Thought I’d stop by.”
“The neighborhood is Bahrain.”
He shrugged, unapologetic. “Long neighborhood.”
I buzzed him in.
Heart pounding, I turned and nearly tripped over Chili, who was already heading toward the door like she somehow knew this was the kind of visitor you open your whole heart to. I reached it a second before the knock came. Pulled it open.
And there he was again. In real time. Hoodie, soft eyes, overnight bag slung over one shoulder. Hair tousled. Like he'd raced across a continent just to make sure I wasn’t overthinking in silence.
We stared at each other for a beat.
“You didn’t text,” I whispered.
“I didn’t trust a text to say what I meant.”
I blinked once. “And what did you mean?”
He stepped forward slowly, carefully, gaze not wavering.
“I won,” he said, voice soft now. “And the first person I wanted to tell wasn’t a reporter. It was you.”
The air left my lungs. I didn’t move for a beat. Then I stepped back, just enough to let him in.
He brushed past, warm and real and slightly winded like he hadn’t stopped moving since the moment the trophy hit his hands.
And as the door clicked shut behind him, I realized— This wasn’t just a visit. This was a choice. And maybe—just maybe—he was choosing me too.
The kitchen lights glowed low—just the under-cabinet ones, casting gold onto the countertops. I hadn’t even realized I left them on until Lando leaned against the island, eyes scanning the familiar space like it was some new country he’d just landed in.
He looked tired. Not in a bad way. Just… full. The kind of tired that comes after chasing something with your whole heart.
I moved quietly, barefoot on tile, reaching for two mugs from the open shelf. Chili padded in and took her spot near the radiator, eyes half-lidded like she’d already accepted him as part of her ecosystem.
“Tea?” I offered, voice soft.
He nodded once. “Please.”
The kettle clicked on.
Steam curled into the quiet. My hands moved on autopilot—bags dropped into mugs, a splash of oat milk into mine, the spoon clinking gently. Behind me, I could feel his gaze. Not heavy. Just there.
When I turned, he was watching me like he couldn’t quite believe I was real.
“You flew across the world,” I said, setting the mug in front of him.
He didn’t answer immediately. Just wrapped his hands around it, eyes tracing the steam like he needed something to anchor him.
“I didn’t want to be a maybe.”
That pulled me still.
He looked up. “I didn’t want to be just a message in your inbox or someone you had to guess about. I wanted you to know I meant it. The win, the podium… it felt like everything was happening. But it didn’t mean anything until I could share it with you.”
I sat down across from him, mug warming my hands.
“You didn’t have to come here for that.”
“Yeah,” he said, smile faint. “But I wanted to.”
Silence settled between us again, comfortable now. Like a blanket, not a wall.
I stared into my tea. “I was about to message you. I was—thinking the worst. That I said too much, or didn’t say enough. That maybe I was making something out of nothing.”
“You weren’t.”
I nodded, blinking once, twice.
“I’ve never done this,” I said. “Like this. With someone who didn’t want a version of me they could show off or fix.”
“I’m not here to fix you,” he said gently.
I looked at him. “I’m complicated.”
He grinned a little. “I drive at 200 mph for a living. I think I can handle complicated.”
That made me laugh, despite the lump in my throat. “I disappear sometimes.”
“I’ll wait,” he said simply.
I looked at him. Really looked.
There was no rush in his face. No expectation. Just... quiet certainty. The kind that doesn’t need to be said a hundred ways to be understood.
“You’re really here,” I murmured.
“I’m really here.”
My hand reached out before I knew what I was doing—fingers grazing his across the island. He turned his palm up. Let mine settle there.
And in that moment, the world shrank to warm tea and shared silence and the feel of his thumb brushing softly against mine.
We didn’t kiss right then.
We didn’t need to.
Because in that still kitchen, under soft lights, with a sleepy cat at our feet and the ghost of jetlag in his eyes, I realized, sometimes love doesn’t arrive in grand gestures. Sometimes it’s a knock at the door, a cup of tea, a voice saying, I came back because I wanted to.
We ended up on the couch—barefoot, legs tangled, the room lit only by the glow slipping in from the hallway. The city outside had gone quiet, and even Chili had curled into her usual corner, watching us with slow blinks before giving in to sleep. Lando’s tea had gone cold. Mine sat untouched on the table.
But we didn’t move.
I didn’t want to.
He leaned back, head tipped against the cushion, eyes half-lidded but still on me like I was saying something worth hearing—even though I hadn’t spoken in a while.
“I keep thinking,” I said, voice barely above a whisper, “if someone took a picture of this moment, they wouldn’t believe it was me.”
His brow furrowed slightly. “Why?”
“Because I’m not supposed to be this soft,” I said. “I’m supposed to be untouchable. Always moving. Sharp edges and red lips and too many exit plans.”
Lando didn’t even blink. “You’re still that. But you’re also this.”
I looked at him then, and he looked back like I was the only thing in the world he wanted to see.
“That’s what I like about you,” he said, quieter now. “You’re not one thing. You’re everything layered and messy and brilliant. You walk into a room like you own it. But you sit here like you don’t need to.”
I felt my throat tighten.
“I think I forgot I could,” I murmured. “Sit still, I mean.”
He smiled, warm and unhurried. “Then maybe you just needed the right couch.”
I laughed softly—small and real.
And then he reached up, brushed a strand of hair from my cheek. His knuckles grazed my temple, slow and gentle. He didn’t ask permission. He didn’t have to.
I didn’t pull away.
I leaned into him instead. Just slightly. Just enough.
“I was scared,” I said. “To feel this much. To want someone before I even had the thing I’ve worked so hard for.”
His gaze stayed steady. “It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
My voice caught on the next breath. And still, I said it.
“I think I’m already choosing you.”
A beat passed between us—weightless and warm.
Then he reached for my hand. Twined our fingers together.
Pulled me toward him with that same quiet steadiness. No rush. Just... invitation.
I went easily, curling against him. My head on his chest. His hand against my back, the other still tangled in mine. His chin dropped to my hair. I felt his breath there, soft and steady, like a promise.
“This feels unfairly safe,” I whispered.
He smiled against my hair. “Good. You deserve that.”
I closed my eyes.
And somewhere between wakefulness and whatever came next, in that floaty, too-real haze, I heard myself say, “Stay.”
His lips brushed my temple when he answered. “I was never planning to leave.”
And he didn’t.
I woke to sunlight slipping across his shoulder. Soft and golden, like the world had no idea what it was about to do. Lando was still asleep beside me, his face relaxed into the kind of peace that only ever existed in the half-dream of morning. One arm was curled beneath his pillow, the other draped across my waist, fingers barely grazing my skin as if still afraid to hold too tight. The sheets tangled between us like evidence of something gentle. Something real.
For one long breath, I let myself pretend. Pretend that the world outside this bed hadn’t noticed. That whatever we were becoming had been allowed to bloom quietly. That no one was out there ready to pick it apart.
But then—the buzz.
Once.
Twice.
A third time.
My phone danced across the nightstand with the urgency of someone trying to wake me from a dream. I slid out of bed quietly, the air cool against my bare skin as I pulled one of his shirts over my head. Chili blinked at me from the windowsill, stretched her paws, then followed like a little guardian. I didn’t reach for her.
The notification lit up my phone before I could even unlock it.
Starflash Weekly Exclusive:
From Monaco to Manhattan: Actress Y/N and Lando Norris’ Secret Love Story Unmasked.
I didn’t breathe. I didn’t blink. I scrolled.
The photos hit like punches.
The walk after the Marné event.
The vending machine night in Tokyo.
A distant, grainy shot of Lando leaving my apartment after our bagel disguise swap.
And last night—Lando. Entering my building.
Each photo sharper than the last. Like they had been saving the clearest one for the kill. Like they wanted to make sure no one could deny it anymore.
Then came the captions.
“Known for her tabloid-fodder romances and headline-chasing lifestyle, the Hollywood starlet seems to have found a new target: F1’s most eligible bachelor.”
“Norris may be looking for stability. But can someone like her give it?”
“Will he be just another name in her collection?”
I dropped the phone. It clattered onto the countertop with a sound that felt final. Chili flinched. So did I.
The room suddenly felt too bright, too sharp. My chest was tight, lungs caught mid-breath. I couldn’t feel my feet on the floor.
I reached for the kettle. Tea. I just needed something to do. Something human. Something simple. The water rushed into the pot with a roar. I turned the stove on. Watched the blue flame bloom.
But my body didn’t relax. The blood in my veins had turned electric. My mind was already spiraling, latching onto the one thing that mattered more than anything else right now.
Leila.
I could lose Leila. The producers. The investors. Kassner. They would see this and run. They’d remember the whispers. The gossip. The reputation I had tried so damn hard to outgrow.
They’d think I was distracted. Unreliable. Unprofessional.
And it wouldn’t matter how hard I’d worked. How many callbacks I’d nailed. How vulnerable I’d been in that room. It would all be undone.
Because of this.
Because of him.
I heard him stir before I saw him. Feet padding softly across the floor. Lando appeared in the kitchen doorway, rubbing sleep from his eyes, his hair a mess, voice still rough from dreaming.
“Hey,” he murmured. “You okay?”
I didn’t answer.
He looked at me, then at the kettle, then at the phone still facedown on the counter. He didn’t need to ask. He crossed the room and turned the stove off before the kettle could scream.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, my voice so small it barely sounded like mine.
Lando didn’t say anything right away.
“They have everything,” I repeated, my throat raw. “Every single moment. Someone was following us. Watching. I don’t even know how long.”
“I know,” he said quietly. “I saw.”
And that—that cracked something wide open. Because he sounded calm. He sounded resigned. Like he had accepted this as inevitable. And I couldn’t. Not yet. Not now. Not when everything I’d fought for was on the edge of slipping through my hands.
“Do you know what this means?” I asked, turning slowly to face him. “Do you actually understand?”
Lando met my eyes, steady. “We always knew this could happen.”
“No,” I snapped, sharper than I meant. “You thought it might happen. But you don’t understand what it does to me.”
“I get that it’s bad. I’m not pretending it’s not—”
“No, Lando. You don’t get it.” My voice rose again, shaking. “You’re not the one with your name dragged across every headline. You’re not the one they label impulsive, unstable, manipulative.”
“That’s not who you are,” he said gently.
“But that’s what they see!” My breath hitched. “And now Kassner’s team is circling. Watching. They will ask Andrea if things were going to escalate. You think that was random? You think they don’t care? I have one shot at this. One.”
He was quiet, watching me come apart. “They saw what you did in that room. That’s what matters.”
“They don’t care about the room!” I cried. “They care about image. About control. And now I’m just another fucking tabloid headline.”
He took a cautious step forward. “Then we manage it. Together.”
“I don’t have a together right now!” I yelled. “I need to be focused. I need to be clean. And this? This isn’t clean.”
He flinched. “You think I made you dirty?”
“I think,” I said, trembling, “that you’re making it worse.”
He stepped back like I’d slapped him. “Last night meant something,” he said, quietly. “And you’re letting a few photos erase all of it.”
“It wasn’t supposed to matter,” I said, barely above a whisper.
But it was the wrong thing to say.
Lando stared at me, chest rising and falling once, hard.
“Wow,” he said. Just that.
And I watched his face change—so subtly it might’ve gone unnoticed if I hadn’t already memorized the lines of it. The shift was quiet but unmistakable. Like a door slowly closing. His eyes dulled, not with anger, but with disappointment, and something colder—recognition. I felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over my chest. The kind of chill that didn’t just soak skin, but settled deep into bone. Because I realized then. I hadn’t just hurt him—I’d confirmed the very fear he’d been carrying since the beginning. That I’d never let him stay.
I looked down, guilt rising fast. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yes, you did.” His voice wasn’t angry. Just tired. So deeply tired. “Because the second it got hard, you turned me into the problem. Into some... liability.”
His words landed with the weight of truth. Not an accusation, but a mirror. One I didn’t want to look into.
I opened my mouth—closed it. The heat in my chest had already curdled into shame. I felt like I was standing outside of myself, watching this wreckage unfold in slow motion, unable to stop it. All of it—the fear, the pressure, the impossible tightrope I’d been walking—spilled out sideways, jagged and misdirected. And he had caught every edge.
“I didn’t ask for this,” I whispered.
“No,” he said. “But you let it happen. You let me happen. You let us mean something—until it scared you.”
I bristled, even as my stomach twisted. “It doesn’t scare you?”
“Of course it does,” he said, more sharply now. “But I don’t run from things just because they might hurt.”
I flinched. “You don’t understand what I have to protect.”
“You think I don’t have something to lose?” he shot back. “I’ve built everything I have by knowing exactly how far I can be pushed before the world calls me a distraction. But I still chose this. I chose you.”
“I could lose Leila,” I snapped. “Do you get that? This role—this chance—it’s everything. Everything I’ve worked for. And now it might all go to hell because I let myself—” I broke off, breathing hard. “Because I let myself want something I can’t afford.”
He stared at me. “And I’m the thing you can’t afford.”
The words hung there like smoke. I couldn’t take them back. Couldn’t fix the way his face hardened at the edges. Not with logic. Not with apologies.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“But you said it,” he murmured.
I pressed my hand to my mouth, like I could catch all the pieces before they scattered completely. I was unraveling—and he was standing there, watching me, the way someone watches a door they know they won’t be walking back through.
“I’ve done everything right,” I whispered, more to myself than him. “I’ve played the part. Smiled through the noise. I’ve earned the quiet. The respect. And now—this?” My hands shook. “This is the part where they remind me I’m still breakable. Still disposable.”
Lando stepped forward slowly, cautiously. “You’re not disposable to me.”
“But I could be,” I said, throat tight. “All it takes is one bad headline. One wrong narrative. And they’ll write me out. Again.”
“I’m not them,” he said.
“But I live in their world,” I whispered.
He paused. His next words were gentler, but they hit harder. “I told you,” he said. “I didn’t want the polished version of you. I wanted the one that rambles. That disappears. That panics. I told you I was here for all of it.”
Tears stung my eyes. But it was too late. Because I’d already pushed him past the point of asking.
He stepped back. His body still facing me, but his heart already halfway out the door. Then—he stopped. Like there was one last thread he hadn’t let go of.
“Do you still want me to stay?” His voice broke a little on it. “You say the word, and I’ll stay.”
The silence that followed swallowed everything. My mouth opened. But nothing came out. Not yes. Not stay. Not even please. I don’t know if it was fear. Or pride. Or the part of me still trying to protect what I hadn’t even figured out how to hold. But I didn’t say a word.
He nodded once. Like that was all the answer he needed.
“I would’ve waited,” he said, quiet and aching. “For you to figure it out. For however long it took. But I can’t stand here while you burn the whole thing down just to feel safe.”
He looked at me one last time.
“I hope you get Leila,” he said softly.
And then he was gone.
The door closed behind him, not loud, not cruel. Just final. Like the sound of something delicate being set down and walked away from. I didn’t chase him. I just stood there in his shirt, in the kitchen we’d shared twelve hours ago in laughter, tea cooling on the counter, the world catching fire outside my windows.
I moved like I was underwater—silent, slow, suspended. I reached for the kettle, turned the knob off again even though Lando already had. Then I took the mug of cold tea and poured it down the sink. The sound was muffled, distant, like it came from a different room.
I rinsed the cup. Dried my hands. Folded the towel neatly back onto its hook.
Then I walked to the couch, sat down, and stared straight ahead.
From the outside, I must’ve looked calm. Composed. But inside—it was screaming. Everything in me was pulsing too fast. Thoughts colliding like static. Words I hadn’t said. Words I couldn’t take back. I could still hear his voice, low and tired—“I told you I was here for all of it.”
I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes.
I should’ve run after him. Should’ve said anything. But my legs wouldn’t move. My mouth wouldn’t open. I sat there, paralyzed by the storm he’d just walked out of, and the silence that had replaced him.
It wasn’t until I saw the hoodie—his, half-crumpled at the edge of the armchair from nights ago—that the first tear slid down.
I didn’t sob. I didn’t gasp. Just a single tear. Then another. Then a thousand more, like the dam had finally cracked. I gripped the edge of the cushion, curled in on myself as the ache swallowed me whole.
This wasn’t just fear. It was helplessness. A quiet, unrelenting kind. The kind that made you feel like even your breath wasn’t really yours.
I had wanted everything. The role. The redemption. The chance to prove them all wrong. But now—Now I was scared I’d just lost the one thing I didn’t even know how to keep.
I stayed like that for a long time. Long enough for the sun to shift angles, casting new light across the floor. Long enough for Chili to jump up beside me, curl against my leg, and fall asleep with a sigh.
I didn’t touch her. I didn’t move.
My body had become a vessel. My chest felt hollow, like something had been scooped out from under my ribs. I blinked occasionally. But that was all.
There was no more fight in me. No more panic. Just a strange kind of stillness that felt too heavy to carry but too familiar to set down.
I should’ve messaged Andrea. I should’ve answered my phone. I should’ve blocked the tabloid page, made a plan.
But I didn’t. Instead, I just sat there in the quiet aftermath, replaying it all.
The warmth of Lando’s fingers against my skin. His voice when he asked, “You want me to turn off the kettle?”
The look on his face when I said it wasn’t supposed to matter.
“Wow.”
That was the moment. The shift. The exact second I saw his expression change—like someone had thrown cold water on a fire. Like the light behind his eyes had been doused all at once.
I hadn't meant to say it. But I had. And now he was gone. I didn’t even notice someone in the door until I heard the click.
Then came the creak of the hinge. A soft thud. Josh’s voice, tentative. “Y/N?”
I didn’t answer.
He stepped into the room slowly, careful like he was approaching an animal that might bite. “Hey. You didn’t answer your texts.”
Still, I said nothing. I felt his presence before I looked at him—felt the warmth of his concern wrap around the cold shell I’d built for myself. He stood there for a moment. Then walked further in and sat beside me without a word.
Silence stretched between us. Finally, I whispered, “It’s everywhere.”
Josh didn’t ask what. He’d seen the headline. Everyone had.
“I said something,” I added. “Something I didn’t mean.”
“To Lando?”
I nodded.
He let out a slow breath, then leaned back, hands folded in his lap. “You want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know how.”
Josh looked at me for a long time. Then said, gently, “I’ve seen you disappear before. But this is different.”
I flinched, barely.
“You’re trying to convince yourself it didn’t matter,” he said. “But I know you. It did.”
That broke something. I turned to face him, finally, and whispered, “I think I’m losing everything. And it’s my own fault.”
Josh didn’t say “no, you’re not.” He didn’t argue. He just nodded and said, “Then let’s figure out how to stop the bleeding.”
Josh didn’t press for more. He didn’t ask what I’d said or how bad it got. He didn’t try to fix anything. He just leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and sat with me while the silence curled around us.
“I made tea,” I murmured, after a while. “Didn’t drink it.”
“Want a new one?”
I shook my head. “It won’t help.”
He nodded like he understood. And he probably did. The TV was off. The windows were closed. Somewhere across the street, a car alarm chirped then stopped. Chili had tucked herself against the small of my back, warm and breathing slowly.
Josh sat like that for a while longer, fingers tapping quietly against the edge of his jeans. Finally, he said, “You ever think maybe you don’t have to lose everything to feel safe?”
I blinked at him. “What?”
He shrugged. “You keep torching things before they can fall apart on their own. But maybe that’s not protecting yourself. Maybe it’s just hurting yourself first so no one else gets the chance.”
The words lodged somewhere in my throat. I looked down at my hands.
“I just…” I started, voice cracking. “I don’t know how to be in something that’s real without screwing it up.”
Josh tilted his head slightly. “Maybe you don’t have to know how yet. Maybe you just have to stop running.”
I didn’t answer. Just wiped at the corner of my eye, the motion automatic. Then leaned my shoulder gently against his, like we were kids again. He didn’t move.
We sat like that for a minute—me folded in on myself, him anchoring me in place—until my phone buzzed again.
Andrea.
Josh looked over. “You want me to stay?”
I nodded once. “Yeah.”
I answered.
“Y/N,” Andrea said immediately, voice brisk but gentle. “I’ve spoken to Kassner’s team.”
My heart stuttered. I straightened a little.
“They’re… not pulling anything yet,” she continued. “The chemistry read was undeniable. Kassner’s still rooting for you. But the studio execs are getting nervous. The headlines are louder than they’d like.”
I swallowed hard. “So what does that mean?”
“It means the role isn’t lost, but it’s not locked either. They want to see how the next few days go. How you respond. Publicly. Professionally. Maybe quietly.”
Josh reached over and held my wrist gently, grounding me.
“I can make a statement,” Andrea offered. “Low-key. Nothing dramatic. Just a firm no-comment. But they’ll be watching your next moves closely. No paparazzi moments. No social flare-ups. Lay low.”
I closed my eyes. Lay low. The very thing that had always kept me safe and stifled me at the same time.
“I understand,” I said softly.
“I’ll take care of the media end,” Andrea promised. “You just focus on keeping your name clean and your head down. This doesn’t have to define you. We’ll get through it.”
She paused. Then added, more gently, “And for what it’s worth, I saw those photos. They didn’t look like scandal. They looked like something real.”
I didn’t answer. She let that silence sit a beat longer, then hung up. I sat there for another moment, Andrea’s words echoing around the hollow space inside me.
Then I turned to Josh and whispered, “They still might take it away from me.”
He looked at me. “Then make sure they don’t have a reason to.”
“And if they do anyway?”
Josh’s voice was quiet, steady. “Then they never deserved you to begin with.”
The next few days came without mercy. Alarms. Emails. Call times. I moved through it all like someone had wound me up and placed me in the center of a set. Hair. Makeup. Wardrobe. Lights. Smile. Tilt your chin a little. Yes, just like that.
I laughed on cue. I held poses I didn’t remember learning. I gave quotes to interviewers I couldn’t recall meeting. And all the while, something inside me stayed floating—adrift just above the surface, like my body was here but the rest of me was stuck somewhere in yesterday.
Nobody noticed. Or maybe they did, and no one cared.
Because I still looked like her—the actress. The woman with the sharp answers and tailored suits and camera-proof skin. No one could see that my chest had caved in. That my heart had slipped out with the truth I didn’t say soon enough.
Josh checked in once, mid-shoot. A soft “You holding up?” over text. I replied with a thumbs up emoji. It was all I had.
When I got home, the sun was already bleeding into the horizon.
Chili met me at the door. No meow this time, just her little body curling around my ankles like she was keeping count of how long I’d been gone.
I dropped my keys on the counter. Shrugged off the jacket that didn’t feel like mine. Kicked off my shoes and let the silence settle.
Then my phone buzzed again.
Andrea:
Hey. This is the draft the studio wants us to consider. I fought for something short, neutral. Let me know your thoughts.
Attached was a single-page statement. Unofficial. Clean. Sanitized. The kind of thing they hoped would quiet the fire.
Recent headlines regarding my private life have stirred speculation and distraction. While I value my privacy, I also understand the nature of this industry. At this time, I ask for respect and space as I remain focused on my upcoming work. I look forward to sharing my work with the world soon.
I stared at the words until they blurred. It wasn’t cruel. Wasn’t cold. It was the perfect performance of neutrality. But it didn’t feel like me. Not the version of me who’d kissed Lando in the hush between headlines. Not the girl who’d let herself believe in something good, even if only for a night.
I pressed my phone to my chest and closed my eyes. Somewhere, across the sea or on some late flight, he still didn’t know how sorry I was. Or maybe he did.
Maybe that was the tragedy of it all—he knew, and still walked away.
The kettle whistled again. I hadn’t remembered turning it on. Chili blinked at me from the counter. I let the steam rise and curl around us like some fragile promise I hadn’t learned how to keep.
I read the studio’s draft twice more before shutting my phone off and tossing it gently onto the couch. The words weren’t wrong. They just weren’t mine.
I opened my laptop, and stared at the blinking cursor in a blank document. For ten minutes, I didn’t type a thing. Just sat there in the soft hum of my apartment, in the quiet that had started to feel too clean.
The silence was deceptive. It looked like control. But it didn’t feel like living.
I thought about what Josh said days ago—how if they didn’t choose me, even after everything I gave, then they never deserved me in the first place.
I thought about Lando. The way he stood in my kitchen, heart open and hurting. The way he said,
“I would’ve waited, for you to figure it out. For however long it took. But I can’t stand here while you burn the whole thing down just to feel safe.”
That line echoed like a fault line in my chest. Because I’d spent so long running. Rewriting. Pre-emptively pulling away before anyone else could do it first. But this time—this time, I didn’t want to run.
Not from the press.
Not from Leila.
Not from him.
I began to type. Not for the studio. Not for Andrea.
For me.
I’ve spent most of my adult life learning how to protect the parts of myself no one was ever supposed to touch. It’s not a habit. It’s survival. And when something, someone, breaks through that… it’s terrifying.
I never meant to create noise. But I also won’t apologize for living between the lines of the image built around me. I’m proud of the work I’ve done. I’m more than the headlines. And I won’t let fear write my story for me.
I paused. Backspaced the last line. Then retyped it again.
I won’t let fear write my story for me.
My finger hovered over Save. Then I closed the laptop instead. No one had asked for honesty. But maybe that was the point. Maybe it had to come anyway.
I sent it to Andrea just after midnight, no subject line, no follow-up. Just the draft, still warm from the heat of everything I didn’t know how to say out loud. She didn’t reply right away. I didn’t expect her to. I curled up on the sofa with Chili pressed against my side like she finally understood silence the way I did. My tea had gone cold. Again.
The message came through at 12:47 a.m.
Andrea:
This is honest
This is good
This is you
And then, after a pause:
Andrea:
You sure you’re ready to go with this?
I stared at the blinking cursor in the message box. My fingers hovered.
Was I ready?
No.
Yes.
I didn’t know.
But I was tired of hiding behind something polished. Tired of disappearing into the version of myself they wanted me to be. The safe kind. The kind who never slipped up and never loved too loud.
I typed slowly.
You:
it’s the only version I won’t regret
Andrea’s typing bubble popped up instantly.
Andrea:
I’ll post it in the morning
Sleep, kid. You did good
A knot loosened in my chest at those last words. I didn’t realize how badly I’d needed to hear them. I whispered a soft thank you into the room, though she couldn’t hear it. Chili blinked up at me like she could.
Then I shut my phone, set it face-down, and sat back into the dark. I wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring. But I finally felt like I could meet it standing still.
I woke just after seven to sunlight skimming through the curtains and the faint sound of a delivery truck groaning down the street. For the first time in days, I hadn’t woken in a panic.
I stayed in bed for a moment longer, the sheets still heavy with sleep and old emotions, until Chili jumped onto the mattress like she was reclaiming the space as hers. Her head bumped against my arm, soft and insistent.
“Alright,” I murmured, stretching. “I’m up.”
I padded into the kitchen and made tea I might actually drink this time. No buzz. No dread. Just the gentle clink of a spoon, the sound of a city waking up without a storm behind it.
My phone was still on the couch from the night before. I picked it up slowly, heart quiet but expectant. The post had gone up. Andrea had uploaded my words—unedited, unpolished—just after 6:00 a.m. The image was simple: a black background, white text. My statement. No photo. No performance. Just me.
Comments had already started flooding in.
“This is the most human thing she’s ever posted.”
“Never been a fan, but this made me think twice.”
“She’s always been more than the headlines. Maybe now people will listen.”
“Wow.”
Some were cynical. Of course. They always were.
But the tone had shifted. People weren’t dragging me apart this time. They were pausing. Reading. Reposting. The narrative was softening—not by force, but by truth.
And somewhere deeper than all that, I felt a breath of air fill a part of me I hadn’t realized had been starving.
I sipped my tea. Still hot. Still steeping. Then I opened the news app, hesitating before checking the race schedule.
It was Sunday.
Saudi.
I found the stream just as they cut to Lando’s car on the grid. His helmet was already on. The McLaren engineers hovered around him like orbiting moons. But even through the screen, I saw the stillness in his body—the kind that wasn’t focused. Josh didn’t come over like he usually did. He was traveling for work this week—some tech summit in Zurich, I think—so I watched alone, curled on the couch with Chili and too many thoughts I couldn’t outrun.
The commentators didn’t mention the headlines. But they didn’t need to. The silence between words was heavy enough.
He sat in the cockpit, motionless, until they gave the final call.
And when the lights went out… he launched forward like something had snapped loose.
Aggressive. Sharp. Every overtake was tighter than usual. Every braking point just a breath too late.
The kind of driving you do when you’re trying not to think. When you need the chaos to keep from feeling everything else.
And I knew. I knew exactly what that looked like.
I gripped the edge of the counter, phone in hand, tea forgotten. My chest ached. Because it wasn’t just that he was driving angry. It was that even behind a helmet, I could see it—his smile, when it came, didn’t reach his eyes.
Just as they cut to the post-race commentary, my phone buzzed with a message. I expected it to be Andrea. But it was Josh.
Josh:
saw the statement
proud of you, idiot
also
he drove like a man possessed
you saw that?
I exhaled, a crooked smile tugging at one side of my mouth.
You:
yeah
i saw
Josh
you okay?
I stared at that last message for a while. My thumb hovered, but I didn’t know how to answer it. So I just typed:
You:
getting there
He didn’t push. Just reacted with a quiet heart emoji. That was Josh’s way.
Still no message from Lando.
I watched the interview replays until they cut to podium shots. He wasn’t on it. P6. Respectable, but not what he wanted. Not what he could’ve had. Even through the screen, I could tell he hadn’t shaken the weight.
My phone buzzed again—this time Andrea.
I answered immediately. “Anything?”
“No direct statement from Kassner yet,” she said. “But his assistant liked the post. And get this—one of the executive producers forwarded it to the studio’s internal comms team. I think… I think it landed the way we hoped.”
I pressed a hand to my chest, grounding myself. “So I’m not cut?”
“You’re not cut,” Andrea confirmed gently. “If anything, I think they’re seeing you clearer now.”
My lungs let out a long, aching breath.
“Do you want to know how the press is reacting?” she asked carefully.
I hesitated. “Not yet.”
“Okay. I’ll filter the noise for now. But Y/N…”
“Yeah?”
“That post—it wasn’t just good. It was real. And that kind of real? It moves people. Even people who swore they knew you already.”
My throat tightened. “Thanks.”
We hung up. I stared at my phone. Still no message from him. And somehow, that silence was louder than everything else.
LANDO'S POV
Monaco - Present
The plane touched down with a shudder that felt too familiar.
Tired bones, heavier heart.
I didn’t stay for the after-party. Didn’t even stay long enough to swap helmets or pose with the trophy. P6 meant nothing tonight. The adrenaline had worn off miles ago, somewhere over the Mediterranean.
I was still wearing my travel hoodie when I stepped into the quiet of my apartment. No lights on, just the ocean lapping in the distance, that faint Monaco hum of expensive silence. I dropped my bag by the door, kicked off my shoes, stood there for a moment staring at the shadowed outlines of the place I used to think was peaceful.
Now it just felt empty.
I hadn’t messaged her. I kept telling myself she needed space. But I was lying. I was scared.
I sat on the couch, elbows on knees, head bowed, when my phone buzzed. Again. This time it was Oscar.
Oscar:
She posted.
I didn’t check it right away. I poured a glass of water. Drank half of it in one breath. Sat on the couch. Let the silence stretch until it felt unbearable. Then, finally, I opened her page.
Her statement was the first thing that popped up. No PR gloss. No comments turned off. Just her words.
I’ve spent most of my adult life learning how to protect the parts of myself no one was ever supposed to touch. It’s not a habit. It’s survival…
I read it once. Then again. By the third time, I had to sit forward, elbows on knees, staring at the screen like it was something fragile.
She didn’t mention my name. Not once. But I felt it. Every line. Every heartbeat under the surface.
I won’t let fear write my story for me.
I closed my eyes. It was her. Not the version the world thought they knew. Not the headline echo. This was the girl who whispered to me in a dark hallway in Tokyo. The one who had invited me in after hesitating at her own door. The one who told me she wasn’t easy, but kissed me like she still hoped someone would stay anyway.
I set the phone down carefully, face-down. Rested my head back against the couch. And breathed.
I hadn’t realized how long I’d been holding it.
Somewhere in the stillness of the room, the tension in my chest loosened—not gone, but shifted. Like maybe something broken had started to tilt toward repair. I didn’t message her. Not yet.
But I knew, finally, what I wanted to say when I did. And it wouldn’t come through the screen.
I didn’t know what she was doing right now. If she was alone. If she’d turned off her phone like I had a dozen times this week. But I knew what it took for her to post that. Knew what it cost.
And maybe it wasn’t an invitation. Maybe it was just a beginning. A new truth spoken aloud, after weeks of silence and masks and pretending not to care.
I stood up slowly, that familiar ache in my ribs from the cockpit settling somewhere deeper. The city outside sparkled like it always did. But tonight, it felt a little less cold. And when I finally picked up my phone again, I didn’t go to messages.
I went to flights.
Because maybe she had already said what mattered. And maybe it was my turn now.
I didn’t sleep. I showered, changed into something soft, packed nothing but my wallet and a phone charger. Told my team I needed a few days off-grid.
Then I called the my manager to have my jet ready. There was no grand plan. Just instinct. That low, unrelenting tug in my chest pulling me somewhere I hadn’t let myself look directly at for weeks.
Somewhere with her. Somewhere home.
The sky outside the plane windows shifted from velvet night into blue haze. Monaco vanished beneath us before I could second-guess the decision. I closed my eyes, head tilted against the cool pane, and let the hum of altitude wash over the nerves.
I didn’t even know where she was. Not exactly. But I knew who to ask.
When we landed, I sent one message.
Me:
Hey. Can I ask you something?
Andrea replied within minutes. Surprisingly fast.
Andrea:
Depends. If you’re asking if she’s free right now—yes. She wrapped early. You didn’t hear it from me, but she’s grabbing a bagel. Same deli as always.
There was a pause. Then another message.
Andrea:
I’ll deny this conversation if needed. But for the record… don’t screw this up, Norris.
I smiled, half-exhaled. Tension I didn’t realize I was still holding broke loose in my chest.
A bagel. Of course.
She always came back to the little things. It was something I’d noticed early. That in all the chaos of cameras and headlines and endless rehearsals, she found shelter in simplicity. Coffee shops. Her brother’s sarcasm. The same movie she kept rewatching when she couldn’t sleep. Her quiet love for daisy stems.
I had the driver stop at the corner florist just before the deli.
Nothing dramatic. Just daisies. Soft, shy yellow.
I didn’t ask for a ribbon. Didn’t even write a note.
I just carried them with me, hand wrapped lightly around the stems, as I pushed open the old glass door to the tiny corner shop that smelled like toasting sesame and burnt espresso.
She was there.
Back turned, standing at the counter. Her hair a little messy, jacket too big, hands tucked into the sleeves.
I paused. Just for a second. Just to look at her.
Like maybe the past few weeks hadn’t happened. Like we were still in disguise. Still playing pretend in jackets and sunglasses, standing side by side at some pastry case trying not to be seen.
Only now—I wanted to be seen. I wanted her to see me.
The bell above the door clinked closed behind me.
She turned.
And everything else—noise, regret, doubt—fell away.
Her eyes widened when she saw the flowers. And then they widened again, fuller, softer, like she wasn’t sure if I was real.
“I heard you were in the mood for bagels,” I said, voice low. “Thought I’d crash the craving.”
She didn’t speak. Just looked at me, stunned. Then finally, slowly, her lips parted.
“Is this really happening?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said, crossing the space between us. “It is.”
I held out the flowers.
“They’re not much,” I added, quieter now. “But I remember you had daisies at every corner of your place.”
She took them gently. Held them like something delicate, something sacred. And for the first time in what felt like forever, she smiled. Really smiled.
Like the kind that lived between the lines. The kind she only gave when she wasn’t guarding herself.
And I thought, this. This is what was worth coming back for.
Y/N'S POV
NYC - Present
“Hi.”
And there he was. Lando.
Standing just inside the door, hair tousled from wind or travel or maybe sleep, hoodie slung over his frame like he’d put it on in a hurry. In his hand: a crumpled paper wrap, barely hiding a small bouquet of white daisies. Simple. Crooked. Like he’d picked them up without thinking, or maybe thought about it too long. He looked like someone who had flown halfway across the world and hadn’t slept a wink.
And somehow, still—he looked like home.
“I heard you were in the mood for bagels,” he said. “Thought I’d crash the craving.”
My breath caught in my throat. For one long second, my chest didn’t move. All that space I’d built up inside myself the past few weeks—walls, locks, floodgates—came undone. “Is this really happening?” I asked, voice barely above a whisper.
He stepped closer. “Yeah,” he said softly. “It is.”
He held out the flowers. They weren’t perfect. A little crushed from travel. No ribbon. No note. Just daisies. The kind I kept in vases at the corner of my living room, beside my bed. The kind I’d told him once reminded me of summers with my grandmother. Of scraped knees and lemon cookies. Of simpler things.
“They’re not much,” he added, quieter now. “But I remember you had daisies at every corner of your place.”
I took them slowly. Felt the petals brush my wrist. And something inside me cracked open. Not all at once. Just a shift. A small, breathless thaw in the place I’d been frozen.
“Miss?” The deli worker’s voice floated from behind the counter. “Your bagel’s ready.”
The moment blinked. The stillness broke. I let out a soft, almost-laugh—half surprise, half apology. Lando smiled too, small and crooked, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. I glanced back toward the counter, lifting the daisies awkwardly like they might explain my silence.
“One second,” I murmured, stepping back to grab the paper bag.
The woman behind the counter gave us both a knowing glance but didn’t say anything. She just handed it over with a nod, like she’d seen softer reunions in stranger places. Maybe she had.
Lando opened the door for me, letting the late afternoon spill in. We walked out slowly, shoulder to shoulder, the smell of warm bread trailing behind us, the daisies wrapped gently in my hands. Outside, the street felt brighter. Sharper. Like the world had changed colors and no one else had noticed.
I glanced over at him. “So,” I said, voice barely steady. “You tracked me down through bagels?”
He gave a sheepish shrug. “Andrea might’ve helped a little. And I figured… you’d need carbs. After the week you’ve had.”
I smiled, just a little. It felt unfamiliar. But not unwelcome.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” I said again.
He looked at me then—really looked. Not the way people do when they want answers, or apologies, or permission. But the way someone does when they’ve already decided to stay, even if it hurts. Even if it’s uncertain.
“I told myself I would,” he said. “After I read your statement. I knew it wasn’t just words.”
My throat tightened. I looked away, blinking against the sting in my eyes. “I didn’t know if you’d even see it. Or care to.”
“I saw it,” he said quietly. “I felt every line. I’ve read it more times than I should probably admit.”
He wasn’t teasing. There was no irony in his voice—only something tender, careful.
We walked in silence for a few steps, the air warm enough that the bouquet in my hands felt almost alive, like it was breathing with me.
“Everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers,” I admitted. “The part. My sense of control. You. I thought if I just… shut everything out, I could stop the bleeding.”
“And did it?” he asked.
I paused. “No. It just made it quieter. Lonelier.”
He nodded, not saying anything right away. And maybe that was what made my next words spill out.
“I’m scared, Lando.” I wasn’t looking for reassurance. I just needed to name it aloud. The fear. The exhaustion. The way I’d twisted myself up trying to be untouchable.
“I know,” he said. “But you’re allowed to be. I never needed you to be fearless.”
We stopped at a corner, waiting for the crosswalk. I stared down at the daisies, their stems slightly crushed in my grip. Then I looked up at him, he watched me, something soft flickering behind his eyes. We crossed the street. And I realized—this wasn’t a fix. It wasn’t some cinematic ending wrapped in violin strings and perfect lines. It was two people who had hurt each other, standing in the aftershock, trying to remember how to reach across the rubble.
But maybe that was the kind of love I was learning to believe in.
“I missed you,” I said, my voice trembling.
Lando didn’t flinch. He stepped closer instead, his arm brushing mine. “I was always here.”
I looked up at him, unsure of what to say next. And maybe I didn’t need to. Maybe the moment didn’t ask for declarations, or apologies. Just this—two people carrying everything they hadn’t said in the curve of a smile and the weight of daisies exchanged without a script.
Because sometimes love doesn’t come in grand confessions. Sometimes, it’s just knowing who’ll meet you at the bagel shop when you’re starving and scared.
And still choosing you.
The apartment was still. Late afternoon light spilled through the windows, casting honeyed stripes across the hardwood floors. As we stepped inside, a small, familiar rustle shot out from the hallway.
“Chili,” I murmured, just before she came darting toward us like a comet of fur.
She stopped short of Lando—just long enough to sniff him like she was verifying he was real—then leapt up onto the console table and let out a chirpy meow, tail flicking with excitement.
Lando laughed, crouching a little. “Guess I passed the test?”
“You’re lucky she remembers you,” I said, trying to keep my voice light. But it cracked a little at the end. Too much weight in it. Too much of everything.
I set the deli bag on the kitchen island, fingers brushing the smooth granite, as if touching something solid might keep the moment from slipping away.
Lando stepped up beside me—quiet, slower than usual—and reached for my hand.
“Hey,” he said gently. “I’m sorry about all the things I said. I shouldn’t have left like that.”
His fingers laced through mine, warm and sure. I looked at him, heart tight in my chest. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“No you don't—”
“I do,” I interrupted softly. “For saying things I didn’t mean. For letting fear turn you into collateral.”
He didn’t flinch. Just held my hand tighter. “I knew what I was walking into with you. And I still walked in.”
I blinked, throat thick. “But you didn’t deserve to be hurt.”
“No,” he said, a faint, rueful smile tugging at his mouth. “But I didn’t come for guarantees. I came because you made me feel like I was part of something honest. Even when it was messy.”
I let out a shaky breath, tears welling but not falling. “You stayed when I gave you every reason not to.”
“And I’ll keep staying,” he said, voice like gravity. “Not because it’s easy. But because I believe in you. In this. Whatever shape it takes.”
My eyes dropped to our joined hands, thumbs brushing over each other’s knuckles. Something in me exhaled—deep, fragile, real.
“I don’t always know how to hold onto good things,” I whispered. “But I want to try.”
Lando leaned in, resting his forehead against mine. “Then we’ll try,” he murmured. “Slow. Honest. No disappearing acts.”
A beat. His thumb traced a small circle over my hand.
“And if you ever need to run,” he added, eyes soft and steady, “just promise you’ll let me run with you.”
I let out a watery laugh, pressing closer. “Deal.”
Lando stared at me for a second. Then he leaned in slowly, like he was still asking permission, like he wasn’t sure the space between us had fully healed. But I was already moving. Already reaching.
The kiss was soft—quieter than the last, slower than the first. A kiss of returning, of relief. Of apology written in the way his thumb brushed my cheek and the way I pressed into him like I’d been waiting days to exhale. We broke apart only when Chili meowed, like a slightly impatient chaperone.
Lando chuckled against my forehead. “Alright, alright, I’ll share her.”
Later, we found our way to the couch—an open bag of chips on the coffee table, our bagels half-eaten, two mugs of tea growing cold. A romcom played on the TV, one I used to love as a teen, the volume low enough that it only half-covered the sound of the city softening outside.
Lando, of course, had commentary. “This man has known her for like a week. He’s already proposing?”
I swatted his arm. “It’s a metaphor.”
“It’s a lawsuit,” he muttered. “Or a very strong delusion.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. And when I did, it surprised me—how good it felt to laugh again, not politely or on cue, but from somewhere real. We curled into each other after that, my head on his chest, his fingers tracing slow, absent patterns down my spine. The movie kept playing. We didn’t move.
And then—a buzz from my phone. I reached over, barely shifting, thumbed the screen awake. One new email.
Subject: Leila – Final Confirmation & Contract Signature Date
I blinked, reading it once. Then again. Lando shifted beside me. “Good news?”
I stared at the screen. “It’s happening,” I whispered. “They sent the contract. They want to move forward. I got Leila.”
He sat up straighter, his eyes wide, almost disbelieving. “Wait—you got it?”
I nodded, dazed. “Yeah. I got it.”
A beat passed. Then he grinned. One of those bright, unstoppable, boyish grins that could light up entire cities. “You got it.”
And suddenly, I was in his arms again, crushed into his hoodie, laughing and crying at once. In that moment, everything—every crack, every bruise, every word left unspoken—felt like it had led us back here. Home.
The city outside had gone quiet in the way it only did at the softest edge of night—traffic slowing to a hush, windows glowing like little heartbeats. Chili had already curled into her usual spot on the blanket, tail flicking lazily, as if she too could sense that something important had settled. Or maybe just begun again. Lando sat beside me, one arm thrown over the back of the couch, fingers brushing my shoulder in slow, absent movements. My head leaned against him, the weight of the day exhaled between us. He smelled like sugar, and something clean—something like relief.
Neither of us spoke for a while. There wasn’t much left to say, not in words. The contract was signed. The fallout had quieted. The fear hadn’t left completely—but it no longer ruled the room.
At some point, he reached for the remote, flicking past half-finished shows and halfhearted recommendations until the screen landed on something we didn’t know. A movie, maybe. A documentary. It didn’t matter. The kind of background noise that let a silence breathe.
“I don’t know what happens next,” I said quietly.
His gaze flicked toward me. “I don’t either,” he replied, honest and soft.
I turned my face slightly, enough to look at him fully. “Is that okay?”
He didn’t smile, not fully. Just nodded. “Yeah. It’s more than okay.”
I watched him for a long second. His lashes low over tired eyes. His hand still brushing my shoulder like a metronome. Then, gently, I asked, “Do you know what you are to me?”
He blinked, then shook his head, brow knit.
I exhaled. “You’re the quiet I didn’t know I needed. The stillness between everything loud.”
His throat worked once, then again. “And you,” he said slowly, voice frayed at the edges, “you’re the pause in the middle of my rush. The breath I always forget to take.”
A watery laugh slipped out. “God, you’re such a Mr. Philosophy sometimes.”
The words weren’t flowery. They weren’t choreographed. But they carried weight—the kind that settles into your bones. We didn’t need to say I love you. We were saying it already. In metaphors. In memory. In the language we built just for us.
And I believed him. Because the truth sat there between us—not neatly wrapped, not declared from a podium, not even whispered into the night. Just there. Steady. Real. Not a perfect ending. Just a place to begin again.
I reached for his hand. He met me halfway. And maybe that was the point of it all—not the certainty, not the clarity. But the reaching. The quiet understanding that some things don’t need to be defined to be felt. That love, like the spaces between our most careful words, was never about the statement. It was about the silence that followed. The soft place we still chose to land.
Not everything needed a headline. Some things were meant to live between the lines. And we—we were learning how to live there too. Together. Still finding our way home.
She’s Hollywood’s favorite heartbreaker. He’s Formula 1’s golden boy with a heartthrob smile. One offhand comment sparks a secret connection neither of them expected. Between fame, headlines, and disguises, something real begins to bloom—in the steady spaces between the lines.
Pairing: lando norris x actress! reader
Genre: slow burn romance, angst
TW: public shaming, mild swearing, media invasion, verbal argument
PART 1 | PART 2
All I could see were flashing lights which I didn’t bother anymore. The kind that burns afterimages into your retinas. The kind you don’t flinch from, because flinching is off-brand. You learn to stop blinking around the fifth press tour. Around the seventh, you start recognizing which photographers are behind which lens just by the way they shout your name. Around the tenth, the sound of buzzing camera shutters and journalists shouting one over another in curated chaos becomes something close to white noise—like applause, only sharper.
It was the third stop of the week–here in San Francisco on my newest movie press tour. The movie had been out there for about two weeks already, and we were finally reaching the end point of never-ending poses to the paparazzis, answering repeated questions from the journalists, and countless reenactments of the said “favorite scene”.
The room was perfectly staged, with white leather chairs, floral arrangements positioned just off-center for a sense of effortless charm. And me, in the middle of it all–exactly how they wanted me to. My Co-star, Bradley Hart, was fidgeting very visibly from his seat. His unfocused eyes could barely mask his hangover. I sighed remembering how much chaos he caused this morning. Courtesy to his manager, he had been unreachable since last night, and suddenly barged in the dressing room very late–reeked of alcohol.
I crossed my legs, adjusted the sleeve of my blazer, and gave the room my best version of attentive and effortless–hoping the attention wouldn’t shift to my co-star whose eyes looked bleary red. The press didn’t need to know that I’d been up since five, that the makeup and hair took three hours to look perfect, or that the back zipper on my suit had to be sewn shut by my stylist minutes before we walked out.
The questions came fast, voices blending together, some about the story, the character, the director. But even the praise felt like foreplay for the real question—the one they were always circling back to. My heart thumped—not with nerves, but with discomfort. That tight, crawling sensation under your skin when you're being watched too closely. Just when I thought I’d grown used to it, the feelings returned—quiet and sharp—reminding me I never really had.
Bradley was still blinking like the room was spinning a little too fast, and I was silently praying the cameras would crop him favorably. If anyone asked, I’d say he had a cold. Allergies. Anything but the truth.
I leaned slightly forward, feigning interest in a question about character development—one I’d already answered for the third time this week in different cities. I answered easily, gracefully. I knew this rhythm, I lived in it. I let the lines fall soft and thoughtful, let my hands move just enough to look natural. They nodded, scribbled on their notes, typed away on their laptop. I gave them everything but the things that were mine.
And then it came, slipped into the rotation so seamlessly I almost admired her for it. A voice I recognized. Lila Vance–a tabloid journalist from StarFlash Weekly known for spinning eye contact into scandal and compliments into traps. They were the first to report my breakups—before I even told my closest friends, well I hadn’t even confirmed the split to my manager yet. I’d expected her to come to at least one of the stops, and here she was. She smiled when I met her eyes, that performative kind of smile—polite but ravenous.
“In the film, your character jumps headfirst into love, even knowing it might end in ruin,” she said, voice sweet. “Do you relate to that in your real life?”
It cut through the static. Like a thread being pulled tight—sharp, inevitable. I blinked slowly as I tilted my head just enough to look amused, mischievous. A move I’d mastered years ago.
"Let’s just say... I know how to play the part." I let the smile linger. I leaned back, crossed my legs, smiled wider–the way they liked me. Magnetic, elusive, never too sincere.
“You know how it is,” I added, letting it purr. “I fall in love for a living. The rest is just rehearsal.”
Lila’s mouth curled at the edges–pleased, but not surprised. She got her quote. She always did.
There were more questions after that. I answered them. I posed for another round of photos, accepted another glass of water I didn’t drink. Somewhere in the back of the room, my manager was probably exhaling through her nose, already imagining the headlines being typed out before I’d even left the room.
“Heartbreaker strikes again.”“Still no stable romance for Hollywood’s most beloved commitment-phobe.”“She Won’t Be Tied Down: Y/N Responds to Romance Rumors With a Smile and a Sting.”
They didn’t always call me that. The headlines used to be kinder. Rising star. Innocent. America’s next sweetheart. Back when I still wore nervous smiles on red carpets and spoke too earnestly in interviews. Back before I understood the difference between being adored and being devoured.
The first time they called me a heartbreaker was after Milo Larkin. We dated for six months. He was an indie band vocalist with cheekbones the girls on TikTok created edits about. I liked him. I really did. But I was filming in Croatia, promoting a separate project in London, reading three scripts at once and sleeping maybe four hours a night. One morning, I texted him that I couldn’t keep up the pace. He told a friend, the friend told a blog, and suddenly I had “left him shattered.”
He was crying on a podcast. He told the world how I was too busy, too indifferent. Yet I didn’t say a word.
Then came Eliah.
The timing was perfect—or so I thought. I was still raw from what had come before, guarded in places I didn’t realize had been hurt. But Eliah was persistent in that soft, convincing way. Sweet words. Steady hands. All those earnest little phrases that sound like safety when you’re not sure what that looks like anymore.
“I don’t care about your past.”“They don’t know you like I do.”“Let them talk—I’m here.”
And I fell. I really fell. Not because I didn’t know better—but because I wanted to believe someone might mean it this time.
He broke up with me over brunch. Smiled the whole way through. A month later, he was dating someone more famous. Gave an interview about how “some people carry too much damage to be loved properly.” And still—somehow—I was the villain in that story too.
Then came Matias. Tom. A few more. Some real, some not.
Names that looked good in print. Faces that looked good beside mine.
We shared premieres, dinners, soft launches and soft goodbyes.
A couple of them broke up with me over text and still claimed I ruined them. Said I was too distant. Too complicated. One said I didn’t know how to be loved—as if he hadn’t spent most of our time together trying to mold me into someone simpler. Another one cheated. But I was the one painted cold for leaving.
By then, I had learned how to survive the fallout. How to keep smiling through a press tour when someone was leaking texts behind your back. How to let the rumors run their course until a new scandal replaced yours. How to let them call you a heartbreaker because it was easier than telling them the truth.
Because the truth was, I didn’t break hearts.
I just never stayed long enough to let mine break first.
I threw myself to the sofa in the dressing room, releasing a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. The back of my stiletto had been digging into my skin for hours, and the white suit I’d been wearing felt suffocating. The schedule of the day was done, and they’d freed me to go home. The sun was still up there–so today was very rare.
The silence stayed. No knock on the door. The room had that odd post-event hum—like the air still remembered voices, even after they’d all left. My reflection in the mirror looked too polished to feel like this. Like someone who should be going to a dinner, or a rooftop party, or anywhere but here.
It always hit like this, after the buzz wore off. The questions. The cameras. The forced smiles and the knowing glances from handlers who assumed I liked this. I Chose this. Maybe I did, I used to be.
I stared at my phone. No new messages.
Not one person I wanted to talk to. Not one I could.
Because this—this hollowed-out version of me after the lights—wasn’t built for small talk or shared dessert menus. She was built for slipping off heels with shaking hands and peeling off characters that felt like second skin.
My mind circled back to that question. “In the film, your character jumps headfirst into love, even knowing it might end in ruin, do you relate to that in your real life?” Well the truth is I fall fast. But not for the thrill of the fall. For the moment where it feels like someone sees you. Reaches past the glint and the camera-flash version of you and decides to stay. But they never do. Not when they realize the real thing—the whole thing—is messier. Harder. Too full of late nights and unanswered texts and someone who disappears into characters more than she ever lets herself be seen as one.
I’d been called cold for walking away. But no one ever asked what it felt like to stay. To pretend. To shrink yourself into something someone could keep. So I stopped trying. Stopped explaining. Let them write what they wanted to write, say what they needed to say.
I let my head fall back against the sofa and closed my eyes. For the first time all day, I let myself feel the stillness. Not fight it. Not fill it. Not perform.
Then came the knock—soft, familiar.
I didn’t even have to open my eyes to know who it was. Only one person knocked like that. Like they were checking the weather inside the room before stepping in. My manager. My best friend. The only one who didn’t flinch when the headlines got ugly or when I stopped talking altogether.
She slipped through the door and closed it gently behind her. No clipboard, no phone in her hand. Just herself, in jeans and a tired sweatshirt, the day unwinding at her shoulders like she’d carried half of it for me. She sat in the vanity chair, spinning it to face me. For a moment, she didn’t speak. Just looked at me the way she always did when she knew I was pretending less.
"How do you feel?" she asked gently.
I let out a breath, flat and tired. “Awful.”
Andrea nodded, her mouth softening into that half-smile she used when she wished she could fix things. “I’m sorry.”
I looked up at her, eyes heavy. “Did I ruin the headline?”
The silence came before the answer—her way of protecting me from it, even if just for a second. “Producers are talking,” she said carefully. “But they’re not upset. They thought you handled it perfectly. Gave just enough.”
I scoffed quietly, rubbing at the corner of my eye. “Right. Just enough mystery. Just enough charm.”
She gave a small shrug. “You gave them what they needed. You always do.”
A beat passed between us.
I pressed my palms into my eyes and sighed. “I don’t think I have anything left to give them right now.”
“Then don’t give anything,” she said softly. “Take something instead.”
I looked at her.
“There’s a brand event next week,” Andrea continued. “Nothing too flashy. Private list. You’ve already RSVP’d yes, remember?”
I squinted because I didn’t remember.
“It’s not press,” she added. “Just fashion people. A chance to wear something great, be in a room without expectations. Let someone else carry the questions for once.”
I hesitated. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood to make small talk.”
“Then don’t. Just show up.” She stood, smoothing the crease in her jeans. “Let the world spin around you for a night instead of trying to keep it upright.”
Her voice had that soft insistence again. The one she used when she wasn’t just being my manager, but my friend. The one who had seen me unravel and zip myself back up more times than I could count.
I leaned back against the dressing room sofa, exhaling. Maybe she was right. Maybe I didn’t need a plan. Or a comeback. Just a good outfit and a night off.
The intercom buzzed at exactly 10:12 a.m. I didn’t even have to check. Only one person in my life was consistent enough to treat “watching F1 at my place” like a religious obligation. It had been 2 months since the 2025 season started, and my older brother Josh never missed spending a single race weekend in my apartment, aside from last week where I had a back to back press release tour.
“Door’s open,” I called out, not moving from the couch.
A beat later, Josh barged in like he owned the lease—hoodie half-zipped, arms full of plastic bags, his keys still swinging from one finger. Chili barely raised her head from her blanket perch.
“My favorite sister,” he said by way of greeting.
“I’m your only sister.”
“Still counts.”
He dumped his offerings—large box of food, a suspiciously large iced coffee, and enough chips to host a children’s birthday party—on the kitchen island before collapsing onto the floor in front of the TV. Like clockwork.
“Do I even want to know what that is?” I asked, eyeing the mystery box.
“Something I promised I wouldn’t tell you until after you ate it.”
“Fantastic.” I yawned, pulling my blanket tighter around me. “And to think I feed you and let you abuse my air conditioning.”
“You let me because I bring joy to this bleak, glamorous life of yours,” he grinned, already queuing up the pre-race coverage. “Also because your TV is the size of a small country.”
I smiled despite myself.
It was like this every race weekend—him making himself at home, me letting him. Our version of family time. No red carpets. No emails. Just sound design so good it made the walls vibrate and commentary that played like white noise in the background of our siblinghood.
“So,” he said, mid-chip, “you still going to that brand thing next week?”
“Marné event? Yeah.” I made a face. “Andrea’s been working on my look for days. Threatened to cut me out of her life if I bailed again.”
“She wouldn’t survive two days without trauma-dumping in your texts.”
“True,” I laughed softly. “Anyway, I think I’ll go. Try to play nice. Smile for the cameras.”
He gave me a look—subtle, but knowing. “You okay?”
It was such a simple question. But from him, it hit different.
I nodded once. “Yeah. Just tired. Long week. The press stuff gets old.”
He didn’t push. Just reached for the remote, then lowered the volume. “Okay, so... this is actually why I asked.”
He scrolled through his saved clips on his phone and pulled up a recent interview—slick production, muted colors, Lando Norris front and center. I recognized the F1 logo in the corner. His grin flickered on screen, casual, a little too quick to be rehearsed.
The interviewer asked, “Any movie you watch recently?”
“That new one with Y/N,” Lando said, sitting forward a little. “The acting? Really, really good. She’s—yeah. Something else.”
I blinked. Josh glanced at me, not trying to hide the smug smile creeping in. “Look at that. Guess you’ve got a fan.”
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, trying not to react. “Are we just... casually watching interview montages of men you know I’ll never meet?”
“You’re gonna meet him next week, actually,” he said casually.
I narrowed my eyes. “What?”
He shrugged. “Andrea didn’t tell you? She mentioned he might be at the Marné event. Something about mutual sponsors or... fashion crossover?”
I didn’t answer. I was still looking at the screen. Still processing the way he’d said my name. Like it was a fact, not a favor.
Josh smirked. “Also? You were the one who made me rewind a race once because you saw him on the podium and asked, ‘Who’s that orange guy?’ Don’t pretend you’ve forgotten.”
“I did not say it like that.”
“Oh, you so did.”
I tossed a throw pillow at him.
Josh ducked and grinned wider. He cracked open a can of something fizzy and flopped fully onto the floor like he was twelve again. The race broadcast flickered to life, the familiar hum of engines swelling through my living room like a second soundtrack. “Point is—you might be his favorite actress. Wild, huh?”
I curled deeper into the corner of the couch, legs tucked under me, Chili nestled somewhere behind my knees like a living heat pack.
It was last year’s Australian Grand Prix. I’d just gotten my sound system upgraded—something about needing “immersive silence” for line memorization—and might’ve accidentally bragged about it to Josh. He showed up that Sunday like it was a housewarming, arms full of snacks and unsolicited commentary. That race, Lando finished third. I wasn’t really paying attention; my phone was more interesting than engine sounds, and Josh wouldn’t shut up about the Ferrari 1–2 like it was a national event. But then I looked up. Just for a second. Saw him on the screen—brown curls messily damp from the helmet, his race suit half-unzipped, sweat clinging to his collarbone, his face flushed but lit with this stupid, breathless, elated smile. That was the first time I asked. Just one line. Barely a whisper over my iced coffee. “Who’s that orange guy?” Josh didn’t let me live it down until now.
“You know,” Josh said between mouthfuls of seaweed chips, “if you do meet him at the event next week, you should at least try not to look like you're in witness protection.”
I snorted. “Says the man who wore a hoodie to brunch last weekend because his ex was two tables over.”
He gave a wounded look. “That was survival instinct.”
“Sure it was.”
We fell into silence as the formation lap began. The commentary picked up pace. I watched the names flash across the screen—Verstappen, Leclerc, Hamilton... Norris.
My gaze lingered a second too long.
Josh caught it. “Wow,” he drawled, nudging my foot with his. “You are thinking about it.”
“I’m literally watching the race.”
“You’re watching him.”
I didn’t answer. Not right away. Because maybe I was. Not just watching, though—it was like I was seeing him differently now. Wondering if someone who drove at 200 miles an hour for a living could really be... thoughtful. Curious. Someone who watched movies with intention. Someone who meant things.
“That’s not the face of someone thinking about tire strategy,” Josh muttered, grinning.
“I’m just surprised,” I said, too casually. “He could’ve picked any film yet he said mine.”
The lights went out on the screen and the roar of twenty cars taking off swallowed the room. Chili let out a tiny huff, shifting against my legs, unimpressed by the noise.
Josh leaned forward, already locked in.
I let myself sink back into the cushions, arms crossed, eyes on the screen. I let the race carry us. Let the adrenaline of strangers fill the silence between things unsaid. My mind drifted once—to the Marné event next week. To flashes of cameras, polite conversation, maybe a soft smile from across the room.
And then, like flicking a switch, I pushed it down. Back into the box. Back into the quiet. Just me, my brother, a very spoiled cat, and twenty cars speeding toward a finish line.
By lap thirty-five, my brain had started to drift. No offense to the sport—the cars were still zipping around like angry wasps and the commentators were still shouting about DRS zones and tire degradation—but my attention had begun to unravel somewhere around lap twenty. Josh was fully locked in, fists clenched. I, meanwhile, had sunk deeper into the couch cushions, one hand absently scrolling Instagram while the other scratched behind Chili’s ear.
A few clicks. A few mindless stories. Sponsored content. Then, muscle memory took over.
Search bar.
Lando Norris.
Tap.
Just a little curiosity. For research.
His page loaded instantly—blue check, millions of followers, the usual. Fast cars, podium smiles, photos that looked like they’d been filtered through golden hour and a billion-dollar lens. Some with friends. A few alone. One particularly stupid one of him holding a baguette and wearing sunglasses, which made me roll my eyes and maybe smile—just a little.
And then, I blinked.
He followed me.
I stared at it for a second, trying to decide if I’d misread. Refreshed the page. Looked again. Still there.
I tilted the phone away from Josh automatically, as if he could somehow see the heat blooming in my face. My thumb hovered over the screen like it was holding a secret.
“He’s in second,” Josh muttered beside me, totally unaware. “If he times the undercut right, he might—wait, what’re you doing?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly, locking my phone. “Just—my feed. It’s full of... skincare ads.”
Josh gave me a suspicious side-eye. “Uh-huh.”
But I wasn’t listening anymore. My heart was still beating a little faster than before, and my head was now full of breadcrumbs.
He’d followed me. Before the event. Before any brand photo-op or formal introduction. And I didn’t know since when.
I swallowed, lips parting without meaning to. Something fizzy and a little nervous bubbled in my chest–it was familiar. That flicker of interest. Real, pointed, unexpectedly inconvenient interest. The kind that didn’t start with a smile across a room, but with a clip from an interview and the faintest feeling that maybe—just maybe—someone saw more than just the character I played. And maybe that’s how the fallout always began. Not with declarations or drama. But with quiet curiosity. A name typed into a search bar. A profile scanned too long. A follow-back that felt heavier than it should.
I stared at the blue Follow back button for a moment.
It shouldn’t have felt like anything. People did it all the time. Casual. Forgettable. A blink in the chaos of social media. But still, I hesitated. Thumb hovering. Heart nudging. It wasn’t like I hadn’t followed people back before. I had. Directors. Co-stars. The guy who played a tree in an off-Broadway production I was once in.
But this felt different. I stared for a second longer than I should have. Heart ticking a little faster, not because of who he was—but because of what it meant. Someone out there—that someone—had watched a film where I bled parts of myself onscreen, and still decided to stay.
I locked my phone without tapping anything. Set it screen-down on the table like it had teeth.
Josh, still oblivious, shouted something about undercuts and tire wear. Chili yawned in my lap, unimpressed. I leaned my head back against the couch, eyes on the screen—but my thoughts already half somewhere else.
Josh left a little after ten. The apartment was quiet again, the kind of quiet that didn’t feel heavy yet—just soft around the edges. Familiar. I turned off the TV. Chili let out a tired little grunt from the couch and didn’t bother moving when I stood up to clean. I did the usual: rinsed mugs, folded the throw blanket, wiped the coffee table even though it didn’t really need it. I wasn’t tired, not really. But I didn’t feel like thinking, either.
I showered. Pulled on an old sleep shirt. Did my skin care half-heartedly. When I got to brushing my teeth, I realized I’d left my phone on the edge of the sink. Screen still locked. Face-down like it was waiting for me.
I picked it up. Unlocked.
There he was. The last search in my bar. Lando Norris.
Still following.
I stared for a beat. Maybe two.
It wasn’t the kind of thing I should’ve been overthinking. A follow is a follow. Harmless. Fleeting. But something about the timing lingered—like he’d already made his mind up about me without expecting anything in return. I didn’t want to read into it. Not like I used to. I’d done that before—built whole fantasies out of kindness, turned curiosity into connection where there was none. I wasn’t thirteen anymore. Not seventeen. Not twenty-three and wrecked over someone who told me I was “too much, too fast.”
I should’ve let it go. Instead, I tapped Follow back.
The action was instant. Quiet. Not even a sound. But it felt loud in my chest.
Chili meowed softly from the couch, stretching across the blanket like she owned the place. I padded out of the bathroom and curled back up beside her, pulling my knees to my chest. My phone buzzed once—something unrelated, probably. Still, I locked it again.
Just one button. That was all.
No expectations. No dramatics. Just... maybe something. A quiet kind of maybe.
It was very sunny outside when I stepped out of my apartment. The kind of sunlight that felt too loud for what was supposed to be the most important audition of my year—maybe my entire career. Andrea had been waiting for me at the curb, leaning against the car with oversized sunglasses and a half-drunk oat milk latte, texting me in all caps.
Andrea: MOVE. FASTER. IF YOU MISS THIS SLOT I WILL UNFRIEND YOU IRL.
Andrea: ALSO you left your lipstick. Again.
I slid into the passenger seat, clutching the sides of my script like it was something sacred. Andrea didn’t even greet me, just passed me the lipstick and a breath mint. “You good?” she asked, starting the car.
I nodded too quickly. “Yeah.”
“Liar. Want me to run lines with you?”
I shook my head. “If I say the words one more time, I’ll forget how to feel them.”
She didn’t argue. The drive to the studio passed in a blur of nerves. Andrea did most of the talking—last-minute reminders, light gossip about another actress who apparently showed up to her Kassner audition in full character costume, and a gentle reminder that if I booked this, she’d probably cry for a week. I stared out the window, trying to breathe. It felt like my lungs had shrunk overnight.
This wasn’t just any casting. It was Julian Kassner.
A man whose scripts moved like poetry and whose actors left his sets transformed. His last three movies had all been nominated. Two had won. Oscars. Cannes. That kind of pedigree. The kind you don’t just audition for—you beg for. People called him a genius. Others—usually off record—called him terrifying. He was famously professional. Gracious in interviews. But behind the lens, he didn’t suffer chaos. He didn’t work with actors who were distracted from the art. No scandals. No drama. No Page Six headlines.
I’d studied him in film school. Wrote a thesis about how his use of silence in Blue Night, Black Sky was more haunting than any monologue. And now I was trying out for the lead in his next film. The character—Leila—was a paradox. Soft-spoken but searing. She held grief like a weapon. And somehow I had to become her, for five minutes, in a cold room with strangers.
We pulled up to the production studio in Tribeca—white-bricked, discreet. Just a small gold plaque with the company’s name engraved. Andrea parked, turned to me, and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“You’ve got this,” she said. “Go make him regret ever working with anyone else.”
I gave her a tight smile, then stepped out into the warmth. The sunlight hit me square in the face—bright, unrelenting. The air tasted like metal.
The lobby of the production studio in Tribeca was predictably stark—glass, matte black accents that whispered importance. The kind of place that had seen careers ignite and implode in the same breath. I signed in, smiled tightly at the assistant who barely glanced up, then sat down on one of the low, painfully modern couches that looked more like art than furniture.
I didn’t dare pull the script out again. I’d memorized it backwards. Forwards. I’d worked with a coach for two weeks, even ran scenes with Andrea late at night over FaceTime, her eyes bleary, her notes sharp. But still—my fingers itched for something. Anything to ground me.
I opened my phone. And there, sat a very recent–unread DM from someone unexpected.
@lando: Hi! I really enjoyed your movies!! Looking forward to more of your acting :)
The same Lando who had smiled at the end of that interview clip like he hadn’t meant to say my name but did anyway. The same Lando whose profile I’d stalked the week before, whose curls I still remembered wild from last year’s Australian GP. The same Lando who shouldn’t have made my heart skip when I was about to audition for Julian fucking Kassner.
I stared at the message a beat too long before locking my phone like it had burned me. Not now.
The casting assistant called my name, I stood, legs shaking so slightly I hoped no one noticed. The room I walked into was dimly lit, as if even the light didn’t dare intrude. Julian Kassner sat at the far end of a long table—button-down rolled at the sleeves, glasses low on the bridge of his nose. Beside him, the producer—Melissa Greene, I think—was scribbling something quickly onto the sides of a printed script. Another woman, probably casting, gave me a warm nod.
They handed me a mark to stand on. Told me I’d be reading with a stand-in. Scene three. The moment after Leila learns her mother has died but refuses to cry.
I nodded once. Then something shifted.
I didn’t act. I became.
The words rolled out of me like they weren’t mine, like they’d always been there waiting to be used. My voice cracked at the right moment—not because I planned it, but because it had to. I could hear the breath of the woman across from me falter. I didn’t look at Julian. I couldn’t. I just stared past the reader, into a spot on the wall that wasn’t real, letting my chest cave in slowly.
By the end of the scene, my hands were trembling.
Silence.
Then the click of a pen. Julian leaned forward, studying me like I was a puzzle he hadn’t expected to like solving. The silence stretched for a second longer than it needed to. Then Kassner blinked and said, simply, “Thank you.”
I thought that was it. My cue to leave.
But then Melissa leaned forward, her face soft. “You seemed perfect for the character,” she said. “Thank you for bringing her to life.”
“We’ll be contacting you for the script reading,” Kassner added, his voice even. Measured. But I caught it—the faintest upward curve at the edge of his mouth. Not quite a smile, but something.
I smiled, bowed my head, and walked out of the room like my bones were made of spun sugar.
Outside, the air was too bright. My pulse was still thrumming. I didn’t even know where I was walking, only that I needed to move, to feel the weight of gravity again. I pulled out my phone on instinct.
The message was still there. Just a few words. No pressure. No ask. I stared at it. Thought of everything I’d just risked. Everything I wanted to hold onto. Kassner didn’t do scandal. Didn’t like distractions. If he even suspected I was flirting with the edges of another tabloid headline, the offer could vanish. Just like that.
I closed the app. Left it on read. And maybe in another life, on another day, I would’ve replied and said something charming, casual. But today, I kept walking.
The doorbell wouldn’t stop screaming.
At first, I thought it was part of a dream. Some nightmare sequence where I was being hunted down by paparazzi or ex-boyfriends or—God forbid—both. But then I cracked one eye open and realized it was real. The sunlight was slashing through the windows, lighting up my entire apartment like a stage I didn’t ask to be on.
I groaned, squinting at the intercom. Andrea’s face filled the screen, distorted and dramatic, like a found-footage horror film. She was aggressively mashing the bell like it owed her money.
“Stop it, Andrea!!” I yelled through the speaker, voice still thick with sleep.
“Finally!” she beamed, lifting a giant paper bag into the frame like it was a peace offering. “I brought food!”
I shuffled to the door, dragging half my soul behind me. As soon as I cracked it open, she breezed past me with the entitlement of someone who knew where the cereal was kept. Her shoes were already off, tossed somewhere near the welcome mat, and she was yapping at full volume before I’d even fully opened my eyes.
“Andrea,” I groaned, dragging my feet behind her, “I was unconscious. Dead to the world. Possibly flatlined.”
She ignored me completely, already unpacking the contents of her oversized paper bag like she was restocking a pantry she owned. “You had your big audition yesterday. You earned carbs. Also, you trended on X for, like, three hours.”
I collapsed onto the couch, face-first, arms sprawled. “Wonderful. Was it for my talent?”
Andrea offered no sympathy, just the clatter of croissants and iced oat lattes being lined up like offerings on the coffee table. “Actually, it was for the way you said ‘I fall in love for a living’ like you were about to eat the reporter alive. Which—iconic. But also terrifying. I’d be afraid to date you too.”
“Good,” I mumbled into a cushion.
Andrea settled into the armchair with that manic energy only she could summon before noon. “Anyway. You’ve got two hours to get yourself together before we leave.”
I paused mid-bite. “Leave for what?”
She blinked. “You’re kidding.”
My silence wasn’t kidding.
“The Solstice Studios x Marné event? The one we did fittings two weeks ago? The one where they’re low-key circling you for their next campaign? That one?”
I buried my face deeper into the pillow. “I thought that was tomorrow.”
She launched a croissant crumb at me. “It’s tonight. Sunset. Small, curated, no influencers—just moody creatives pretending not to know who you are while secretly praying you make eye contact.”
“Ugh. I can’t be perceived today.”
“Well, you’re going to be.” She scrolled through her phone, already coordinating something with someone important. “You’ve got the coat. You’ve got the attitude. You’ve got just the right amount of post-press day mystery energy. You’re going to look like the girl they write screenplays about.”
I groaned again, louder this time. “Fine. But only because I really like that coat.”
“And because you love me,” she smirked, sipping her latte like this was all part of her master plan.
I sat up slowly, blinking out the last remnants of sleep while Central Park shimmered beyond the glass. Two hours to transform into someone vaguely ethereal and emotionally complex. The kind of woman who wears Marné and says things like “I don’t do small talk.”
Andrea stood up, hands on her hips like a mom in a sitcom. “Now finish the food and go shower. You look like a ghost.”
I raised a brow mid-bite. “A ghost?”
“A very chic one,” she added, grabbing her phone and snapping a picture of my bedhead. “But still.”
The elevator dinged—soft, almost shy—before the doors slid open to reveal the rooftop.
Music floated in slow, dreamy waves through the warm air, something French and jazzy, threaded with just enough bass to hum in your chest. The space was minimal by design—concrete, glass, and tall silver heaters pulsing with warmth against the late afternoon breeze. String lights looped lazily above, casting everything in a kind of soft glow that made even the skyline feel like part of the decor. It was curated melancholy. The kind of place where everyone looked like they were pretending not to wait for someone.
The Marné suit was a liquid charcoal shade—tailored within an inch of its life, cinched at the waist with sharp lapels and slightly exaggerated shoulders, balancing edge with grace. The silk blouse underneath was the color of heavy cream, its collar undone just enough to suggest that everything about me was both intentional and accidentally perfect. The trousers skimmed the floor over pointed heels, and my hair was pulled back in a clean, low bun—the kind that said I didn’t need to try harder to be looked at.
And they were looking.
Some were subtle. A glance too long over the rim of a champagne glass. A pause in conversation that lasted a beat too long. Others weren’t.
“I heard she’s not very lucky in love,” someone murmured behind me, just loud enough to be heard.
“She acts it well,” another voice followed—dry, amused. “That last film? Gutting. She could sell heartbreak like perfume.”
I didn’t flinch. Just adjusted the strap of my bag, stepped deeper into the party, and let their words dissolve into the music.
Then, like clockwork, a familiar voice pulled me from the static. “Y/N.”
I turned and found myself face to face with Lucien Marné himself—linen shirt, tailored jacket, hair a little more tousled than usual. He looked like someone who vacationed for a living. He offered both cheeks, kissed the air beside mine, and smiled in that infuriatingly serene way designers always seemed to. “You look... devastating.”
“I dressed for the occasion,” I replied with a wink.
His gaze flicked briefly to the rest of the room. “And the occasion dressed for you, as always.”
“I have to say,” I told Lucien, lifting my glass slightly in a quiet toast, “your collection this season? Almost cruelly good. My stylists were both delighted and terrified.”
Lucien’s smile deepened, pleased in that quiet way artists are when you speak to their work instead of their image. “Ah, then I’ve done something right.”
Before he could say more, Andrea—who had been scrolling through her phone just minutes ago—suddenly lit up. “Lucien, you still owe me lunch in Milan.”
He laughed, pulling her into a brief hug. “I knew you’d find me.”
They slipped into conversation like old conspirators—talking about some stylist they both loved, a villa that changed hands, a dinner party I’d apparently missed by falling asleep too early. I let them chatter, sipping my champagne and nodding when needed, letting the glass cool against the inside of my wrist.
I wasn’t bothered. Not really. It was nice, actually—drifting just out of frame in a room that somehow always made me the subject.
Someone passed by with a silver tray, and I caught another glass—not because I needed it, but because it gave my hands something to do. I tilted my chin, letting the music roll over me as I took in the space again—conversations, silk, cologne, stiletto taps, curated laughter.
Eyes met mine across the room.
A trio by the ivy-covered railing. One whispered something behind her fingers. The others didn’t bother hiding their stares.
“She’s gorgeous, but you know... she’s never with the same guy twice.”
“I heard she broke Milo Hart’s heart.”
“She’s probably just here for the photos.”
Still—I smiled. Just enough to look unbothered. Maybe even a little amused.
I was mid-sip, letting the bubbles fizz at the back of my throat, when a tap landed on my shoulder. Not gentle. Not polite. The kind that makes your stomach jolt like a missed step.
For a second, I froze—tight-chested, startled, like someone had just cracked open the glass between me and the rest of the world. I turned sharply, prepared to armor up—only to be met with a grin I hadn’t seen in years.
“Hi!” he beamed. “It’s been too long!”
Charles Hubert. He looked almost exactly the same—maybe a bit scruffier, a little more tired in the eyes, but still boyish, still the type of handsome that made people trust him too easily. We’d gone to school together once upon a lifetime ago, before the fame, before the campaigns. And then he became a photographer—one of the good ones. We'd crossed paths again on a few shoots, made each other laugh, swapped war stories about this industry and all the ways it tried to chew us up.
“Charles,” I gasped, breaking into a real, reflexive smile as he pulled me into a hug I actually welcomed. “God, you startled me.”
“Sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. “I wasn’t sure it was you until I saw that don’t-fuck-with-me expression. Then I knew.”
I laughed, breath easing in my chest. The kind of laugh that felt like a soft exhale in a night made of pretending.
“You look incredible,” he added, stepping back to really take me in. “Marné’s lucky you wore him tonight.”
I smirked. “I wouldn’t miss a chance to wear his masterpiece.”
Charles chuckled, brushing a hand through his hair. “So… are you still impossible to book coffee with? Or do I finally get a rain check after, like, five years?”
“Depends,” I teased. “Are you still ordering lavender oat lattes and calling them ‘masculine’?”
“Always,” he grinned. “Some things never change.”
It was only after the laughter faded, after Charles let go and started fumbling with the champagne glass someone had handed him, that I noticed someone standing just behind him.
Brown curls. Sharp features. A mouth curved with quiet amusement. And eyes—green, unmistakably green—fixed on me like he’d been watching the whole thing unfold, quietly entertained. He wasn’t trying to interrupt. Just... waiting. Patient, polite. Boyish in a way that felt dangerously charming. My smile flattened, posture re-centering into something cool and practiced. No warmth, no sparkle. Just polite interest and a perfect poker face.
Charles caught the shift, glanced between us, then lit up like he’d just realized he held the match to something potentially explosive.
“Oh—have you two met?” Charles asked, already stepping aside, already sure of the answer. “Lando, this is—”
“I know who she is,” Lando said, smiling.
It wasn’t smug. Just honest. Like someone stating their favorite song was already playing.
His voice hit lower than I expected. Smooth, a little amused, soft around the edges but grounded in that unmistakable British clip. He wasn’t wearing anything loud—just a dark jacket over a white tee, black trousers, clean sneakers. Effortless. But it wasn’t the clothes that stood out. It was the way he stood—anchored but not heavy, like he wasn’t trying to take up space but did anyway.
I turned fully toward him, the glass still poised in my hand like a defense mechanism. “Lando Norris,” I said, offering the faintest smile. “Of course.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d actually be here,” he said, then corrected himself quickly. “Or want to be seen here.”
I tilted my head, feigning casual curiosity. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He didn’t answer right away. Just met my eyes like he was looking for something—confirmation, maybe, or denial. Something under the surface I wasn’t sure I’d let show.
Charles cleared his throat, sensing he’d become background noise. “Right. I’m gonna… grab another drink.” He winked, lifted his glass, and slipped off like smoke.
And then it was just us. The rooftop and the skyline and a few yards of air that felt thinner than it had a minute ago.
“You clean up well,” I said, because it was the safest thing I could reach for.
He shrugged, boyish and unbothered. “I tried.”
I took another sip of champagne, letting the silence stretch long enough to feel a little dangerous. “So,” I said lightly, “You slid into my DMs.”
His eyes flickered, but he didn’t flinch. “I did.”
“Ballsy.”
“Was it?” he asked, that hint of a grin teasing the corner of his mouth. “It was a compliment. Not a proposal.”
“True. Still. It’s risky business—publicly claiming a favorite actress.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Only if she’s the type to take it badly.”
I raised a brow. “And if she’s the type to leave you on read?”
His grin turned rueful, but not bitter. “Then I’d say she had good reason.”
I paused. Let the words settle, let the wind tug lightly at the ends of my blouse, let the rooftop melt into the sound of music and soft murmurs. Then I stepped forward, just a little—close enough for the scent of him to reach me: warm, clean, vaguely expensive.
“I was in the middle of an audition,” I said.
“I figured.”
“For Julian Kassner.”
His brows lifted, impressed despite himself. “Serious stuff.”
“Exactly.” I gave him a wry smile. “He doesn’t exactly love actresses who flirt with controversy.”
His gaze flicked over me. “That what I am? A controversy?”
“Not yet.”
That earned a low laugh, not loud, but real. “You’re sharper than they make you out to be.”
“And you’re less reckless than I expected.”
“Don’t tell anyone,” he said. “It’d ruin my brand.”
Another beat passed. The breeze shifted. The city glimmered behind him like a half-finished thought.
He looked at me again—this time less entertained, more intent. “I meant what I said, by the way. About your work.”
I didn’t answer right away. Just watched him with the caution of someone who’d been admired for the wrong reasons too many times.
“I saw Crying in Third Person twice,” he added. “Once alone. Once with a friend who didn’t get it.”
“And did you?” I asked.
“I think I did,” he said. “You didn’t cry for most of the film. And somehow, that hurt more.”
My throat caught. Just for a second. Then I smiled.
“Okay, Lando Norris,” I said, eyes narrowing just slightly. “You can stay.”
He laughed softly. “I appreciate the mercy.”
Before I could say more, I heard Andrea’s voice behind me—sharp with curiosity, just a beat too quick to be casual. “Y/N.”
I didn’t turn right away. I didn’t have to. I could feel the shift in her energy, the kind that buzzes when your best friend realizes you’re talking to someone you probably shouldn’t be talking to this comfortably.
She stepped up beside me, eyes flicking between me and Lando with the kind of subtle interest only someone who’d known me for years could master. Then, smooth as ever, she extended a hand toward him. “Hi. Andrea. I manage her life when she lets me.”
Lando shook her hand with a polite nod, smile still lingering. “Lando Norris. I’m trying not to cause trouble.”
Andrea gave me a look. A very specific look. The kind that said, Oh, so this is who you’ve been standing here with, pretending to be chill.
Before I could glare at her, Charles reappeared and Marné swept in from the side like he’d just sensed the moment might be getting interesting.
“Well, this is a rare sight,” Marné grinned, greeting Lando with a designer’s cool affection. “Thank you for coming, truly. And I see you’ve worn the jacket. Looks even better in motion.”
Lando glanced down at the piece he was wearing—minimalist, tailored, sharp in all the right places. “Would’ve been rude not to. It’s ridiculously well made,” he said, running a hand across the lapel.
Lucien beamed, pleased as if Lando’s compliment had been a review published in Vogue. “We’ll make a model out of you yet.”
Lando laughed, easy and warm. “Don’t tempt me.”
Marné turned his attention to me, his expression a shade more mischievous. “And as for you, I’ll be stealing you for photos later. Don’t run off.”
“She won’t,” Andrea chimed in, one brow raised in warning. “Not unless she wants me to change her entire press calendar.”
I gave them both my best diplomatic smile, the kind I’d perfected for red carpets and exec rooms. But under it, my mind was still circling Lando. The quiet confidence. The way he looked at me like I was a person and not a headline. It was unnerving. It was also… unsettlingly nice.
The group around us began to shift again—someone called for Lucien, a photographer gestured for Andrea, and Charles disappeared back into the crowd with a muttered “save me one of those canapés or I’ll sue.” And just like that, we were back in the space between.
Lando stepped closer—not too close, just enough that our conversation felt suddenly separate from the rest of the party. “You don’t like these things, do you?” he asked, nodding toward the rooftop.
I arched a brow. “What gave it away?”
“You look like you’re trying to levitate out of your own shoes.”
That startled a laugh out of me. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only if you’re looking closely.” His voice was quiet now, like he didn’t want to share the moment with anyone else. “And I was.”
I looked away before I could smile too wide, lifting the glass again to hide behind a sip that didn’t quite mask the heat rising in my throat.
“This—” I gestured vaguely at the curated glamour, the filtered lights, the slow jazz and perfect tailoring “—is part of the job. It’s just not the part I’m best at.”
He nodded like he understood. And maybe he did. F1 wasn’t far from this world—just as much gloss, just as many cameras. Different brand of performance. Same pressure to smile through it. “I think you’re doing fine,” he said, voice low, like it was meant only for me.
The air between us shifted again—quieter, thicker, charged with something unspoken. Something that couldn’t quite be laughed off.
I held his gaze this time. “You’re not what I expected,” I murmured.
He tilted his head. “What did you expect?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Arrogance, maybe. A line or two. A little more... brand.”
“And instead you got?”
I considered him. “Someone who watched my movie twice. And understood it.”
He didn’t say anything right away. Just nodded once, as if accepting something neither of us had said out loud.
Before the moment could stretch too long, someone across the terrace called his name. Not impatient, but just enough to remind us this wasn’t a world that allowed long silences.
He glanced toward the sound, then back at me. “Will you be here a while?”
“Maybe.”
“That a real maybe?”
“Yeah,” I said.
His smile deepened—soft, slow, like he’d been waiting for that.
“I’ll come find you,” he said, stepping back. And then he disappeared into the crowd.
Andrea cornered me by the bar five minutes later, all raised brows and crossed arms like a mother catching her teenager sneaking back in past curfew.
“Well,” she began, drawing out the word like it was a sip of something scandalous, “he’s cuter in person.”
I didn’t bite. Just took a slow sip of my drink and pretended I hadn’t noticed her watching us from across the rooftop like a hawk in vintage Prada.
“And charming,” she added, tone light but layered. “Polite. Stared at you like you wrote his favorite song.”
“He was being nice,” I said, too quickly.
Andrea’s eyes glittered with mischief. “Uh-huh. And you were being completely unaffected? Just sipping champagne with your heart rate at a calm seventy?”
I glared. “Andrea.”
She grinned, raising her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’m just saying. If you do kiss him—”
“Yeah,” I cut in, deadpan. “Never gonna happen.”
She blinked once, then smiled like she didn’t believe me for a second. “Sure, babe. Just make sure it doesn’t happen where anyone has a camera.”
I rolled my eyes, but her voice softened before she walked away. “Just be careful, alright? He seems lovely. But so did the last one.”
And with that, she vanished into the crowd, leaving behind a warning dressed like a joke.
I had drifted toward the far end of the rooftop, needing a minute to cool the flush off my cheeks—or maybe off my pride. There was a low cement wall near the edge, draped in ivy and a string of lightbulbs that blinked slow like heartbeats. I leaned there, half-turned toward the skyline, pretending to check a message I wasn’t writing.
That’s when I heard them. Two women, behind me, voices soft and perfectly poised—just loud enough to mean it.
“She always circles the room like she’s waiting for someone to chase her.”
“Please. She doesn’t wait—she calculates. It’s all part of the performance. The outfit, the hair, the wounded-siren look. Like heartbreak’s her accessory.”
A soft laugh. “And now Lando Norris? God, she really doesn’t know how to sit still.”
I didn’t move. Not even a breath. I just stood there, watching the city flicker while their voices faded back into the ambient music, my pulse like static under my skin.
They didn’t know I’d heard. That was the worst part. It hadn’t even been meant for impact. Just... casual cruelty, folded into prose and passed like hors d'oeuvres.
I swallowed, carefully. Tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. And just as I began to turn—
“Hey.” His voice—low, unbothered, warm—cut through the noise like a lifeline. Lando. Holding two glasses, easy smile, oblivious to the storm I’d just walked through.
I blinked once. Then again, slower this time. Letting the shell harden back around me before I turned.
Lando stood there with both drinks in hand, casually backlit by the string lights, looking unfairly at ease. He held one out to me like we hadn’t just time-traveled through two different versions of this night—his, light and warm; mine, sharp and splintered.
I took the glass.
“Thanks,” I said, my voice a little too even.
He didn’t seem to notice—or maybe he did, but decided not to mention it. Instead, he leaned lightly against the ivy-covered ledge beside me, close enough that his shoulder nearly brushed mine, but not quite.
“They’ve got decent taste,” he said, gesturing toward the glass. “It’s elderflower something. Andrea made a face like I ordered a personality quiz, but I kind of like it.”
I gave a small, polite laugh. The kind that didn’t quite reach my eyes.
He glanced sideways at me. “You alright?”
I nodded.
He didn’t buy it. Not completely. But he didn’t push. Just sipped his drink, quiet for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I almost didn’t come tonight.”
That pulled my gaze. “Why?”
He shrugged, one shoulder rising. “These events aren’t really my thing. A lot of standing around, pretending you understand fashion, pretending you don’t recognize people you definitely recognize.”
“And yet here you are.”
His smile returned—gentle, boyish. “Heard someone I admire might be here. Thought I’d risk it.”
The words landed softer than they should have. Like they weren’t meant to disarm, but to tell the truth quietly. I looked away before he could read too much.
He didn’t speak again right away. Just let the silence exist, easy and unthreatening. And maybe that’s what got me most—how nothing about him felt performative. Not his presence, not his compliment, not even his patience.
“I saw your press video,” Lando added after a beat, eyes still on mine. “Something about ‘I fall in love for a living and the rest are just rehearsal.’” A pause, slight smile. “Do you really?”
I hesitated, glass hovering mid-air.
That line had followed me for weeks. Clipped into edits, quoted under headlines, printed in italics over moody stills of my face. At the time, it had felt like armor—something honest dressed as irony.
Now, with his eyes on me, it felt like something else entirely.
“Sometimes,” I said, voice quieter than I meant it. “Sometimes it’s easier to fall in love when there’s a script.”
He watched me for a long moment. No smirk. No clever comeback. Just… stillness. Like he was cataloguing the truth in what I said.
“But that means the feelings are real, right? Even if the story isn’t?”
I blinked, taken off guard. “Are you always this philosophical at parties?”
He smiled like he knew he was being caught doing something he shouldn’t. I let the silence stretch a beat, then tilted my head.
“Well,” I said, feigning thoughtfulness, “if we’re trading quotes... wasn’t it you who told AutoSport last summer that ‘emotions get in the way of winning’?”
That earned a low laugh. “Wow,” he murmured. “Pulling out the greatest hits.”
I shrugged, eyes steady. “Just wondering which version of you I’m speaking to. The one who waxes poetic on rooftops, or the one who thinks feelings are a liability.”
He took a step closer, casual but deliberate. The city lights reflected in his eyes like mischief bottled into green glass. “I didn’t realize you watch me so closely.”
I lifted my glass, masking the way my pulse jumped. “I don’t,” I said lightly.
He chuckled, but it was softer now. Lower. Like he knew we weren’t just flirting anymore. Like we both knew we’d just admitted something neither of us had meant to.
Flashes went off near the bar just before sunset, polite and strategic. The Marné team had gathered a few of us by the ivy wall for what they called “a few casual campaign moments.” The kind that would end up on moodboards and magazine spreads weeks from now. I let myself be guided into frame beside Lucien and two other actors I vaguely knew, my expression soft but unreadable, the champagne glass held just right in one hand. Somewhere in the corner of the shots, I knew Lando stood too—off to the side, in profile, talking to someone in a way that looked natural, effortless.
But when I stepped back, eyes scanning instinctively for him, I caught it—the way his gaze flicked over. Like he’d been doing the same.
It was subtle. A glance, a ghost of a smile, the kind of moment that felt too cinematic to be real. And maybe that was the problem. Everything lately felt a little too much like a movie.
We found each other again by the exit.
“Leaving?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, the car’s downstairs.”
He made a soft noise of understanding. “Of course.”
The music had dipped into something slower now, almost mournful. A string of French vocals floated past like smoke. We stood like that for a moment—him with his hands in his pockets, me fiddling with the strap of my bag, both of us half in the glow of the heaters, half out. Like if we leaned just a little closer, we’d fall into something neither of us could take back.
“Well,” I said, exhaling, “goodnight, Lando.”
“Night,” he said. But his eyes lingered—just a second too long.
I turned. Walked. Waited for the elevator.
But something pressed behind my ribs. Something urgent and ridiculous and stupid. Something I thought I’d trained out of myself a long time ago. I turned to Andrea, who had fallen into step beside me, checking her phone.
“Andrea,” I whispered. “I know you’re going to hate me for this but I—”
She didn’t even look up. Just reached for the elevator button for me. “You don’t want to leave, yet?” she asked, then her eyes found mine–soft, sincere. “Go ahead, tonight is about you.”
My throat tightened. The doors hadn’t opened yet. There was still time. So I turned. I went back.
Back through the soft music and the slow laughter, past champagne flutes and curated faces and the hush of silk. Back toward him.
He was still there, hands in pockets, half-lit by string lights, like he hadn’t moved at all. And when our eyes met again, something in him shifted—slow, like recognition.
I stopped in front of him, breath slightly uneven. “I changed my mind,” I said softly. “About saying goodnight.”
We didn’t say anything when we slipped out the elevator. Didn’t plan it. He just followed, or maybe I slowed down enough for him to catch up. The doorman raised a brow as we exited, but neither of us acknowledged him. The street air was cooler than I expected, brushing soft against my skin. I pulled my coat tighter, heels clicking a little too neatly beside his sneakers.
“My apartment’s a few blocks,” I said, not looking at him.
“Then I’m walking you,” he replied, like it wasn’t a question.
So we walked. Past shuttered cafés and puddles that caught the reflections of streetlamps like spilled light. There was a rhythm to it—his hands tucked in his pockets, my steps measured, our silence crackling just enough to feel intentional. We fell into step like it wasn’t our first time. Like we had walked home together before, through a hundred other dusky evenings in a different city, in a life I hadn’t lived yet.
“It’s nice,” he said after a while. “New York at night.”
“You’re saying that because the horns haven’t started again.”
“I’m saying that because I’m walking next to you.”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how to.
The sidewalk shimmered slightly—leftover rain or streetlight tricks—and we passed a closed flower shop, its windows fogged with condensation. My heels tapped a little softer now. Like they knew we were easing into something quieter.
“Sorry,” he said quickly. “Too much?”
I shook my head, eyes narrowing—not angry, just searching. “No.. It's just.. you don’t even know me.”
His tone gentled. “Maybe. But I’ve seen enough to know you.”
I didn’t have a reply for that. Not one that made sense out loud. So I kept walking. And he followed. A moment passed in quiet. The city stretched around us like a stage set winding down.
“You live in Monaco, right?” I asked suddenly, glancing at him.
He looked a little surprised, but nodded. “Yeah. Monaco’s home now.”
“What’s it like?”
He considered it. “Peaceful. Small. A bit too polished sometimes, but it grows on you. The sea helps.”
“I’ve been once. Years ago. Everything felt like... a postcard.”
He smiled. “That’s pretty much it. Expensive postcards and old men who drive Ferraris slower than I do on a scooter.”
That pulled a laugh from me—light, real, slipping out before I could catch it. Then, just as we reached the corner, he added—casual, almost like an afterthought, “I could take you around. If you ever come back.”
My breath caught.
It was such a simple offer. Almost careless. But the words hung there between us, quietly shimmering with something more. With possibility. With the smallest echo of a promise. If you ever come back. Not just to Monaco. To him.
I didn’t say anything, just nodded. I didn’t know how to. Just let the silence bloom, thick with what-ifs and something I wasn’t quite ready to name.
We turned onto my street. My building was a soft gold shape in the distance now, a little too close for how far I suddenly wanted this walk to stretch.
“Why me?” I asked. “Out of all the people you could’ve slid a message to. Why mine?”
He looked straight ahead for a beat, like he was choosing the answer with care.
“I told you. I watched you in that film. Crying in Third Person. You didn’t perform it. You let it… bleed. Quietly. And honestly. It wrecked me in a way I couldn’t explain.”
I blinked. The city blurred a little at the edges.
“And then,” he added, “you said in that interview you fall in love for a living and the rest is just rehearsal. And I just thought… maybe someone should ask what it means to fall for real.”
The words settled in the air between us—warm and dangerous.
I stared blankly at him, yet the small grin escaped. “You really are mr. Philosophy.”
He grinned. “Sorry, happens only when I’m trying not to flirt.”
I laughed. “Try harder.”
“Fine,” he said lightly, “how about this—I read somewhere that you once dated someone in a band and made him cry.”
I tilted my head. “I didn’t realize you watched me so closely.”
“I’m observant.”
“Dangerous quality.”
“Only if it’s mutual.”
I didn’t respond. Just kept walking. But I smiled.
We reached the front of my building too soon. I stopped in front of the revolving door. “This is me.”
He nodded. Didn’t push for more. Just met my eyes and waited. I didn’t know what I wanted him to say. Or do. Or maybe I did and just didn’t know how to ask for it.
“Goodnight, Lando.” I said, “Thanks for.. walking me home.”
“Goodnight,” he said softly. “Thank you for letting me.”
He didn’t ask for more. Just stood there at the lobby, his hands still in his pockets, like he knew pushing would ruin whatever this was. And somehow, that restraint—the quiet, easy way he let the moment breathe—felt more intimate than anything else could’ve. I didn’t invite him up. But I also didn’t want him to think the walk meant nothing. So I held his gaze a moment longer, memorizing the softness there. The safety. Then I smiled, small but real, and turned toward the door. It clicked shut behind me like the close of a chapter I hadn’t known I was writing. I didn’t look back. I didn’t need to. Letting him walk me home had been enough.
The apartment was quiet when I slipped off my heels, dropping my tote by the door with a thud that felt louder than it should’ve. Golden hour was long gone. Everything had that dim, bluish hush of early evening, the city already humming under its breath outside. My blazer was half-off before I reached the kitchen, blouse untucked, hair loosened at the crown where the clips had started to pull.
I’d been in front of cameras all day—studio shots, street shots, a warehouse-turned-set in Brooklyn where the stylist insisted on Balenciaga boots in 29°C heat. My feet hated me. My shoulders hated me. But I was finally home. I cracked open the sushi container I’d grabbed on the way back, inhaling the fresh smell of salmon.
There was something oddly grounding about sitting at the kitchen island in a suit worth more than my first car, eating sushi with plastic utensils. I’d barely taken the second bite when my phone buzzed. Once. Twice. Then a third time, sharp and insistent.
I didn’t check it immediately. Just chewed, slow, savoring the brief stillness. But something in the back of my neck prickled—intuition, maybe. Or hope.
When I finally picked it up, there it was. I stared at it. Read the subject line twice, three times, like it might change if I blinked too hard. Then I opened it.
Subject: Callback Script + Reading Times — “Leila”
From: [email protected]
Received: 6:42 PM
Congratulations, Y/N. Julian and the team were incredibly moved by your first audition. Please find the callback scene attached. We’d love to see your interpretation in a scheduled live reading this Friday. Time slots below. Let us know your availability at your earliest convenience.
I didn’t scream. Didn’t jump. Just sat there, plastic fork still in hand, heart racing in silence. I reread it. Then opened the script attachment like it might vanish if I moved too fast.
It was real.
They wanted me back.
And not just for a second look. For a reading. With the others. Meaning I was in the final circle now. Close enough to touch something I’d spent years telling myself not to dream too hard about.
I picked up my phone again—this time without hesitation—and tapped Andrea’s name. The call barely rang twice before she picked up.
“What?” she said, half-joking, half-panicked. “Are you dead or just finally taking vitamins?”
I smiled. “I got it.”
A beat. “Got what?”
“The callback. For Leila.”
There was a pause—sharp inhale, then—
“Holy shit. Holy shit. Are you serious?”
I could hear her pacing through her apartment, footsteps going uneven. “Did they send the sides? When? What’s the date?”
“Friday. They want a live reading.”
“You need to reply. Like, now. Wait—forward me the file too. I want to go over it with you before you fall down one of your psycho research rabbit holes.”
I laughed, warmth bubbling in my chest. “Already done.”
“No, I am already done,” she said, giddy and bossy all at once. “Now go reply. I’ll bring notes and sparkling water tomorrow.”
I opened the email again, clicked Reply, and typed fast—hands shaking but steady enough
Dear Julian and team,
Thank you so much for the opportunity. I would love to participate in the callback reading. I’m available for the 11:00 AM slot on Friday and will be there prepared.
Warmest,
Y/N
I hit send. Then sat back on the stool, letting the aftershock ripple through my chest. A small, private smile tugged at my lips.
I was still sitting there—bare feet on the tile, half-eaten chicken rice beside me—when my phone buzzed again.
This time, it wasn’t casting.
It was Instagram.
@lando sent you a message.
The preview read only one word: Hey.
I stared at the notification longer than I meant to.
Not because it was surprising—he’d followed me weeks ago, and we’d talked, lightly, at the party. Walked home together. Stood in my apartment lobby with that suspended almost-something. But still, seeing his name lit up there, soft and casual—Hey—felt like a thread being tugged gently. Like something unspooling.
I didn’t open it right away.
I just let the screen dim again and set the phone down on the counter beside my empty sauce cup. The hum of the refrigerator filled the silence, steady and low, while the city blinked outside my window in impatient yellow. I tipped my head back against the kitchen cabinet behind me and closed my eyes for a second. Let it all catch up.
The callback. The reading. My name on that cast list—almost.
And now this—Lando Norris. In my messages. Like it was nothing. Like he wasn’t a name spoken in headlines and half-warnings. Like we hadn’t just brushed shoulders in a night stitched together by string lights and the kind of almost-intimacy that clung to you after.
I breathed out slow.
He didn’t say much. Just hey. But sometimes one word from the right person felt like a door opening.
Still—I didn’t reply. Not yet.
Instead, I stood, cleared the empty container, rinsed my hands under warm water until the smell of food faded, and padded barefoot into the living room. The lights were off, but I didn’t switch them on. I just let the room stay hushed, bathed in the soft glow of the city through the windows. My phone buzzed once more from the kitchen island—just the screen lighting up this time, no new message.
I’d reply tomorrow. Maybe.
But tonight, I wanted to remember what it felt like to be still. To hold something good before reaching for more.
Muted light filtered in through the sheer curtains, casting soft shadows across the wood floors. I’d woken before my alarm—barely five hours of sleep behind me—and padded barefoot into the kitchen, where the silence felt heavier than usual.
I made tea. Not because I wanted it, but because it gave my hands something to do. The steam curled upward in slow ribbons as I leaned against the counter, staring out at the fire escape.
Somewhere in another timeline, I’d have texted someone—maybe a friend, maybe more than that—just to say I couldn’t sleep either. But in this version of my life, I sat quietly, letting the tea go lukewarm and unread messages stay unread.
I still hadn’t replied to him.
Not because I didn’t want to. But because I did.
By two, I’d traded the robe for real clothes, half-heartedly organized a corner of my closet, and answered four emails before opening Andrea’s call.
“You sound weird,” she said the second she heard my voice.
“I’m tired.”
“You always say that when you’re in your head.”
“I’m always in my head.”
She snorted. “Fair point. Okay, shoot—what’s stuck there now?”
I hesitated. Then, casually—too casually—I said, “Lando messaged me.”
Silence.
“Still haven't replied,” I added.
Andrea didn’t say anything right away. Then: “And why not?”
I busied myself straightening the hem of my sweater. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to be... obvious.”
“You’re not obvious,” she said. “You’re cautious. You think if you wait long enough, the feelings will sort themselves out for you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Oh really?” she said, dry. “How’s that working out for you so far?”
I exhaled through a soft laugh, reluctantly amused. “Okay, fine. Maybe I’m a little obvious.”
“Look,” she said, voice gentling. “You’re allowed to be a little curious. Just don’t lose yourself in someone else’s story. Not again.”
“I won’t,” I said. And for once, I almost believed it.
I made dinner just to have something warm in the apartment.
Halfway through chopping garlic, I played music. The kind of thing you’d hear in a film where people fall in love too easily and regret it more elegantly. The scent of olive oil filled the kitchen, and I let myself be distracted by the rhythm of it all—sauté, stir, sip, breathe.
The city glittered through the windows, lights catching on glass like stars that had decided to fall sideways. I ate alone, barefoot again, curled up in the corner of the couch with a throw blanket and my bowl balanced in one hand.
My phone sat next to me. Quiet.
I tapped the screen once. Then again.
Still unread. Still unanswered.
By midnight, the air had thinned out into something cool and hushed. I was curled under the duvet, knees tucked up, scrolling mindlessly through photos I didn’t remember liking.
Then I found myself back in the message thread and finally—after days of ignoring it, I clicked the unread message.
@Lando: hey
@Lando: had fun talking to you the other night
@Lando: let me know if I ever earn a scene in your next film
I stared at it for a long time.
Then—finally—I typed.
@Y/N: you’d have to audition
@Y/N: i hear you’re good at corners, but how are you with subtext?
I hovered over the send button for a beat too long. Then tapped.
The message slid upward. Neat. Deliberate. Done. I put my phone face-down on the nightstand. And let the quiet fill in everything I wasn’t ready to feel yet.
The week moved differently now—slower, somehow, even though nothing had stopped. The city still pressed forward in its usual rhythm, indifferent to the shifts happening inside my chest. After my reply to Lando’s message, there hadn’t been a reply right away. I told myself I wasn’t waiting—not really—yet my phone battery drained faster that night. It wasn’t until sometime after midnight, when I’d already washed my face and curled into the corner of my bed, that it buzzed again.
@Lando: subtext’s easy when the dialogue’s good
@Lando: just don’t ask me to play someone i’m not
I read it twice. Then again. Let the grin bloom slowly before I pressed the phone to my chest like I could smother it into silence. I didn’t reply right away—didn’t want to seem too eager—but my thoughts tugged at the edge of sleep, nudging toward the possibility of more.
The next morning was rain-soft and unhurried. My apartment felt cocooned, half-lit by gray skies and the dull hum of city traffic. I brewed my coffee slowly, barefoot and wrapped in the same oversized shirt I wore to sleep, my hair still damp from a quick shower. There was an interview scheduled at noon over Zoom, something low-stakes and pre-recorded, and a stylist had dropped off a few potential outfits for the Friday reading. But for the first time in weeks, I wasn’t in a rush.
I padded around the kitchen island, sipping from my chipped blue mug, re-reading Lando’s message. I didn’t even notice when my smile pulled wide again.
By mid-afternoon, Andrea had arrived—loud as always, with iced coffee in one hand and a tote bag stuffed with garment bags in the other.
“Alright,” she said, dropping everything by the couch. “I’ve come bearing caffeine, couture, and chaos.”
“I already made coffee,” I said, raising my mug.
“Good,” Andrea replied. “You’ll need it.”
We spent the next hour combing through wardrobe options—soft neutrals, sharp navy, a maybe-too-bold tangerine silk blouse—and debating whether the reading would be taped or not. Andrea had already heard whispers. Two other names had surfaced. One of them had just landed a streaming series, the other had starred in a Cannes darling. Both were stunning. Both had connections. Both had agents who knew how to whisper in just the right ears.
“It’s a bloodbath,” Andrea said, chewing on the end of her straw. “But you’ve got Kassner’s attention. That doesn’t go away easily.”
I didn’t say anything. Just thumbed the edge of a hanger and nodded.
“And,” Andrea added pointedly, like she’d saved the juiciest headline for dessert, “they all know you got a callback. It’s out.”
I raised a brow. “Since when?”
“Since some staff can’t keep a secret in the group chat,” Andrea muttered, deadpan. “But it’s good. Buzz is good. Just don’t let it rattle you.”
It wasn’t the buzz that rattled me. It was the closeness of it all. The proximity to something I hadn’t let myself want fully until now.
I sat on the armrest, phone in hand, absently scrolling through her unread texts. My thumb hovered over Lando’s name.
Andrea noticed. “Still haven’t replied to that F1 boy?”
I didn’t look up. “I did.”
Andrea narrowed her eyes. “And you didn’t tell me because…?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure if it’s anything.”
Andrea gave her a long look. “Right. And I drink celery juice because I love the taste.”
I rolled my eyes. But later, once Andrea left with promises to return early Friday with makeup and snacks, I sat on the couch in the fading light, phone cradled between both hands.
I stared at Lando’s last message again. Read it out loud under my breath, then replied.
@Y/N: good answer. but just so you know, no stunt doubles
@Y/N: and I don’t do rewrites
There. Clever, but neutral. It gave nothing away. I hit send, tossed the phone aside, and buried myseld under a throw blanket—heart somehow both racing and warm.
The reply didn’t come immediately. But I didn’t need it to. And for the first time in months, the anticipation didn’t feel like anxiety. It felt like beginning.
The air in the Kassner's office felt colder than it should’ve been, like ambition had stripped the place of its warmth. A screen near the lobby looped muted clips from Kassner’s past films. His name etched discreetly on the wall like it didn’t need to announce itself.
I sat with my script folded neatly on my lap, thumb brushing the page edges like I was counting time. I wore the navy blouse me and Andrea had debated. Understated but sharp. Paired with clean black trousers and kitten heels I could actually stand in for more than five minutes. Andrea had done my makeup that morning—barely-there foundation, a trace of liner, and just enough blush to look awake.
I wasn’t nervous exactly. Not in the obvious, sweaty-palmed way. But my breath sat higher in my chest than usual. My mind refused to stop rehearsing the scene’s final line, even though I'd memorized it days ago.
They called me in third.
The casting director gave me a warm nod. The producer smiled. And Julian Kassner, sitting off to the side in that signature black button-down, gave the smallest raise of his brow. Not approval. Just... observation.
Across from me sat Reed Brody, who’d already landed two streaming series this year and looked like he walked out of a GQ spread. He smiled when I entered—faintly surprised. “Hey.”
I nodded back. “Hey.”
The assistant clapped the slate. “Scene four, Leila, callback round.”
And then everything fell quiet.
I took a breath, low and steady.
The scene began mid-argument—Leila, standing in a hotel hallway in Rome, soaked from a rainstorm, facing the man she once loved like a secret. The lines were spiky and wounded, but the subtext hummed below: she didn’t just want answers—she wanted to be known. Underneath the fight was history. A thousand untold truths. The memory of a summer that had never really ended.
I didn’t act the scene. I lived it.
My voice didn’t rise; it cracked in the right places. I delivered a line that should’ve been accusatory with quiet devastation. When Reed reached for me in the scripted pause, I didn’t move away—but I didn’t lean in either. Just stayed still. Heavy with restraint.
The final line sat on my tongue like a confession. “You don’t get to remember it sweeter than I do.”
Silence followed. Not awkward. Not empty. Just… still.
Kassner leaned forward, fingers pressed under his chin. “Thank you,” he said finally.
The casting director nodded. “That was… excellent.”
Reed broke character first, giving me a quiet grin. “Damn,” he murmured under his breath. “You went for the jugular.”
I smiled faintly, pulse still pounding somewhere in my wrists.
Julian stood. “Y/N, would you stay a moment?”
The others filtered out slowly. The door clicked shut behind them. He didn’t speak immediately. Just stepped closer, arms folded, eyes unreadable. “I’ve watched a lot of people try to play that scene,” he said. “Most perform the heartbreak. You understood it.”
I didn’t know what to say. So I said the truth, “I’ve lived it.”
He studied me for a long second, then nodded. “We’ll be in touch very soon.”
It wasn’t a promise. But it felt like the closest thing to one.
Outside, the sun had come out, casting slices of gold across the concrete. I stepped into it like someone coming up for air. I didn’t text Andrea. Not yet. I didn’t open Instagram either—even though I’d seen the green light by Lando’s name the night before, and part of me wondered if he’d been waiting too.
Instead, I kept walking. Through the noise. Through the light. Something had shifted. And whether I got the part or not—I had felt it.
The city was humming again—soft headlights flickering past my windows, the radiator clicking like it had something to say. I had changed into sweats and curled up on the couch, Chili snoring lightly at my feet. The callback was over. The adrenaline had burned itself out. And now came the worst part: the wait.
My phone buzzed. Josh.
I answered on the second ring, pressing the phone between my ear and shoulder while reaching for a glass of water.
“Hey,” I said, voice soft from the quiet.
“Hey, superstar,” Josh replied, voice full of that signature older-brother mischief. “So. Did you cry? Did they cry? Was there dramatic music and slow clapping involved?”
I smiled, settling deeper into the cushions. “No slow clapping. But I didn’t bomb.”
“You never bomb.”
“I have, actually. Remember that commercial audition in Glendale where I blanked and said ‘emotional tortillas’?”
Josh laughed—loud, delighted. “A classic. Still not over it.”
“Neither is my dignity.”
He let the chuckles fade before his tone shifted, just slightly. “Seriously though. You think it went well?”
I hesitated, thumb brushing the rim of my glass. “Yeah. I think so. Julian looked… engaged. In that quiet, terrifying genius way.”
“Engaged is good,” Josh said. “Terrifying genius is basically a compliment in director-speak.”
A beat passed, then he added, casual as anything: “You free tomorrow?”
I raised a brow. “I mean… maybe. Depends. Why?”
“Actually, never mind. Andrea already cleared your schedule for a few days.”
I blinked. “She what?”
“She said—and I quote—‘She’ll kill me if she doesn’t get a breather before the news breaks.’ So I made a move.”
“Josh…”
“I got two VIP tickets to the Japan Grand Prix,” he said, quick and smug. “Courtesy of the company. Our marketing team’s doing activation stuff with McLaren. I already bought the flights. We leave tomorrow morning. You and me. Let’s go on vacation.”
I sat up straighter. “You’re not serious.”
“I’m dead serious. Business class, baby. I even picked a hotel with a bidet.”
I laughed in disbelief, palm to my forehead. “Josh, I— I’m still waiting on a call. From Kassner. It could come anytime.”
There was a pause. Then softer, “If it comes, I’ll buy us the first flight home.”
I didn’t answer right away. Just let the silence stretch a little, my eyes tracing the glint of the city through my window.
“You’ve been working nonstop for what? Six months? A year? Even when we went to the lake house, you brought two binders and made us rehearse that script.”
“I mean.. I did land those roles,” I muttered.
Josh chuckled. “I know you did. But I want to see you breathe, Y/N. And eat ramen, drink your disgusting matcha. And watch a race with me. You remember races, right? You and me on the couch every Sunday like clockwork?”
I smiled faintly. “Of course I do.”
“Then come with me,” he said gently. “Even if it’s just for a few days. You deserve to be in a place where nobody asks you about red carpet looks or PR rumors. Just… sky trains and matcha and F1 engines screaming like war.”
I laughed again, heart tugging softly.
“I’ll pack my eye mask,” I said. “And my big sunglasses.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“That’s a yes.”
Josh whooped. “Let’s gooo! Okay, I’ll send the itinerary. Pack light. And maybe something Marné, just in case you run into, I don’t know, certain British drivers who might be in attendance.”
I rolled her eyes. “Bye, Josh.”
“BYE, MOVIE STAR.”
The call ended. And I stared at my reflection in the dark window for a long moment, something small and unnameable tugging behind my ribs. I didn’t know what Japan would bring. Or if the call from Kassner would come while I was across the world. But for the first time in weeks, I felt the flicker of something lighter—like a breath waiting to be taken.
We landed just after five.
The descent into Tokyo was smooth, the kind of quiet that felt earned after twelve hours in the air. I’d watched the sun slip past the window, staining the clouds in warm, diluted peach before giving way to the cool blue of early evening. Everything outside looked tidy, soft-edged, quietly precise—so unlike New York’s constant blur.
I stepped off the plane with a scarf knotted loosely at my neck, sunglasses still on despite the dim light. No one here knew who I was. I could’ve been anyone—jetlagged, underfed, overslept. It felt good.
Josh was already ahead, talking too loudly in the customs line, flashing his work badge like it meant something here. It kind of did. His company had some collaboration with McLaren—marketing, branding, some flashy cross-platform thing. I didn’t ask too many questions. I just let him drag me halfway across the world under the pretense of a “vacation.”
He’d said it so casually on the phone—two VIP tickets to the Japan Grand Prix, already booked the flights, Andrea cleared your schedule, you need this.
And maybe I did. Even if part of me still felt suspended, waiting for a call that hadn’t come yet.
By the time we stepped out into arrivals, the sky was that deep violet gray that never quite goes full black in a city this alive. Neon signs flickered politely. A vending machine hummed softly to itself near the curb. Our driver held up a neat sign with Josh’s name on it, bowing as we approached.
Tokyo felt... hushed. Like the volume of the world had been turned down just enough to let my thoughts breathe.
The drive to the hotel blurred past—clean streets, train tracks overhead, cherry trees just beginning to blush. Josh talked the whole way. About ramen shops and pit lane passes, about the driver lineup and tire strategies and some meme he’d seen of Lando holding three iced coffees at once.
I let him talk. My forehead pressed to the window, eyes half-lidded, heartbeat finally slowing for the first time in days.
The hotel was a soft-spoken kind of luxury—marble floors, warm lighting, staff that made you feel like silence was part of the design. Our room had a view of the skyline and, if you squinted hard enough, a pale silhouette of Mount Fuji ghosting in the distance.
I dropped my bag by the closet and sat on the edge of the bed. Shoes off. Hair down. Shoulders heavy but looser somehow. Like the tension was beginning to leak out, slow and quiet, with every breath.
Josh appeared in the doorway holding two bottles of iced tea.
“Figured this would stop you from face-planting before dinner,” he said, tossing one my way.
I caught it, unscrewed the cap. “Thanks.”
He plopped down beside me, shoulders knocking. “Still no call?”
I shook my head.
He didn’t push. Just leaned back on his hands and looked out toward the city like it might give us answers. “Maybe it’s good,” he said. “Means they’re actually thinking about it. Means it’s serious.”
I nodded faintly, sipping the tea. Floral. Strange. But not unpleasant.
My phone buzzed from somewhere in my tote.
I didn’t move right away. Then reached for it.
Not casting. No notification.
Then I absently tapped Instagram, found Lando's profile at the front row of my following's stories. I tapped it open.
@lando – 38m
It was blurry—a quick garage video, someone shouting about tire compounds in the background. Lando’s helmet was half-on, camera panning past the car. He caught himself in the reflection—just a flash of a grin, crooked and boyish, before the video cut off.
I smiled without meaning to. Closed the app. Set the phone face-down on the nightstand.
Josh glanced over. “What are you smiling at?”
I didn’t answer, just stood and stretched my arms overhead until my joints cracked.
“Come on,” I said, tugging his sleeve. “Let’s go find your three bowls of ramen.”
He whooped and grabbed his jacket. I didn’t tell him that in that moment—surrounded by soft Tokyo light and distant engines humming in garages halfway across the city—I felt something close to stillness.
It wasn’t peace, not quite. But it was the first time in weeks I hadn’t felt like I was running.
The air at Suzuka was different—brighter, somehow sharper. Everything hummed. The engines. The crowd. The morning sun pressing down on the asphalt. Even the air smelled like adrenaline—hot rubber, grass, fuel.
Josh was in heaven.
He wore his VIP lanyard like a badge of honor, walking five steps ahead, pointing out pit signage, quoting lap times from memory. I trailed behind, sunglasses on, hair tucked under a soft cap, jacket zipped up halfway. Incognito, but barely. The staff who scanned our passes definitely recognized me, but they said nothing. Japan had that kind of grace.
We followed a McLaren PR rep through the paddock—Josh’s company tie-in got us access to everything but the garage itself. That was fine. I didn’t need more.
I needed less.
I kept my head down as we weaved between tech carts and camera crews, past rows of branded umbrellas and people with walkies clipped to their belts. It was barely past ten, but the circuit felt like it had been awake for hours. Fans were already pouring in, their cheers echoing like waves from the grandstands.
Josh nudged me suddenly. “Left,” he said.
I looked. And there he was.
Lando.
Across the paddock, in that unmistakable orange and black McLaren gear, laughing at something a crew member had said. His curls were tucked under his cap, headset around his neck, fire suit only half-zipped and tied at the waist. He looked relaxed—grinning, easy—but focused underneath it. Like he’d already driven three laps in his head.
He didn’t see me.
I didn’t wave.
Just… watched. A blink too long, probably. He turned slightly, still talking, still laughing. The sun caught the edge of his jaw. That same crooked grin I’d seen in his story. For a second, the rest of the paddock blurred.
I wondered if he knew I was here. If he’d been looking.
I wondered if he’d check his phone during the driver parade and see the photo I almost posted from last night—a lantern-lit alley, quiet steam rising from a ramen bowl. I’d typed out a caption. Then deleted it.
Josh bumped my arm gently, pulling me back to earth. “Still just a guy,” he said under his breath, teasing.
I smirked. “Says the man who made me run for merch ten minutes ago.”
“That bucket hat was limited edition.”
We moved on, the moment folding back into the blur of media, mechanics, and sponsors. I didn’t see Lando again before the race started.
But I felt him—somewhere in the thrum of engines, the silence before the start lights blinked out, the crowd’s held breath as the cars screamed into turn one.
When the race began, I watched from the hospitality terrace, a headset pressed to one ear, Josh glued to the live timing screen beside me. Lando started P3.
I didn’t cheer when he overtook.
I didn’t gasp when he nearly lost it at Spoon.
But my heart did something strange every time his name lit up on the tower.
By lap 43, he was in P2 and closing in. I told myself it didn’t mean anything. That I wasn’t here for him.
But when he crossed the finish line second and raised a fist from the cockpit, I smiled.
Not because he won.
Because he looked up at the stands like he knew someone was watching.
The train ride back from Suzuka was a blur. My jacket still smelled faintly like engine smoke and yakitori. Josh fell asleep leaning against the window, mouth open, arms folded like he didn’t just scream through half the race like a teenage fanboy. I stared at the lights flickering past the glass, thinking about how the crowd had roared when Lando crossed the finish line second.
Thinking about how he hadn’t looked toward the cameras first. He’d looked up.
We got back to the hotel around eight. Josh crashed hard, muttering something about jetlag and sake and “wake me up next week.” I took a quick shower, braided my hair, and padded barefoot across the plush hotel carpet with Chili’s photo on my phone and an ache in my chest I couldn’t quite name.
I wasn’t tired.
Not in the way that sleep fixes.
By ten, I was out again—wrapped in an oversized coat, cap pulled low, earbuds in but music off. Just… walking. Tokyo at night had a quiet that felt respectful. Like the city knew how to give you space without demanding anything in return.
I found a tiny convenience store tucked beneath a closed karaoke bar and bought a can of matcha and a rice ball I didn’t eat. Wandered another few blocks. Checked my phone twice. No notifications.
I didn’t know if I was hoping for something or running from it.
Then I saw him. I thought my eyes had fooled me. But when he lifted his head, staring up to the distance, I'd recognized that profile anywhere.
Leaning against a railing outside a quiet pedestrian bridge, cap low, hoodie pulled up. Just him and the night and the soft hum of vending machines nearby. His phone dangled loosely in his hand. Like he’d been waiting. Or maybe just standing still long enough for the world to tilt toward him.
He looked to the side before I even said anything. His eyes caught mine like it was nothing. Like it was everything.
I stopped a few steps away. His eyes sparked—with recognition.
“I figured you'd be at some afterparty,” I said softly.
He shook his head, a small smile tugging at his mouth. “Didn’t feel like it.”
A beat passed. Wind brushed past us, lifting the hem of my coat.
“You were there,” he said.
It wasn’t a question.
I nodded once. “P2 looks good on you.”
He huffed a laugh, then glanced down at his shoes, scuffing one against the pavement. “You disappeared after the paddock.”
“I do that sometimes,” I said. “Disappearing.”
“Maybe,” he murmured, lifting his gaze again. “But you’re still here.”
I didn’t answer. Just let the moment stretch between us—quiet and electric, like the city had dimmed itself just to give us this space.
“I wasn’t sure if I’d see you,” he added after a beat.
“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be seen.”
He tilted his head, studied me a little. “You always this cryptic?”
“Only with people who message me one-word greetings like ‘hey.’”
That grin broke—boyish and tired and stupidly endearing. “Worked, didn’t it?”
I smiled, small and involuntary.
He pushed off the railing, took a slow step toward me. “Come walk with me?”
It wasn’t pushy. Just a question. A thread gently held out. And for once, I didn’t pull away. I nodded.
So we walked—through empty alleys and glowing streetlamps, past vending machines and shuttered cafes, not saying much at all.
Sometimes the beginning doesn’t announce itself.
It just… walks beside you under Tokyo stars, not asking for anything but the quiet.
We didn’t talk much at first.
Just walked. Side by side. Our footsteps echoing soft against the concrete as the streets around us exhaled into their midnight hush.
Tokyo felt like it was holding its breath for us.
He had his hands tucked in his hoodie pockets, hood still up. I had my sleeves pulled over my fingers, one hand around the unopened can of matcha I’d bought but forgotten about.
“You always walk like this after a race?” I asked eventually, voice low.
He shook his head. “Only when I can’t sleep.”
I looked over. “Can’t or won’t?”
He gave a small shrug, eyes on the sidewalk. “Bit of both.”
We turned down a narrow street lit by one flickering streetlamp and the glow of a vending machine humming to itself like it had secrets. The air smelled like rain, even though it hadn’t fallen.
“You get that a lot?” he asked after a beat. “Insomnia?”
I nodded. “It’s not even about sleep anymore. It’s about what I have to feel first to get there.”
He glanced at me. Said nothing.
I kept going before I lost the nerve. “I used to think if I just kept moving—working, auditioning, pretending—then everything would stay outside of me. But it doesn’t. It just waits.”
His expression didn’t shift. But something in him stilled.
“I get that,” he said finally, voice quiet.
We crossed a small bridge—one of those charming, tucked-away pedestrian ones with red paint fading on the rails. The water below was dark, still. I paused in the center without thinking, and he stopped beside me.
There was a long moment where neither of us spoke.
Then he said, softly, “I’m not good at it either.”
“At what?”
“Stillness. Letting people in. Being… known.”
I looked over at him. “You seem good at it.”
“I’m good at noise,” he said. “At interviews. Banter. Fast answers and faster exits. But real stuff? That’s… harder.”
I studied his profile—soft jawline, mouth tight, eyes watching the water like it might blink back.
“Why?” I asked gently.
His jaw ticked once. “Because the last time I let someone see all of it, they used it to cut me.”
The words hung there. Bare, unpolished. I didn’t push. Just let the silence stretch between us like a net.
“I’m sorry,” I said after a while.
He shook his head. “No, don’t be. It’s old. Just… makes you think twice the next time.”
“Or three times,” I murmured. “Or ten.”
He huffed a soft breath, more exhale than laugh. “Yeah.”
I wrapped my arms tighter around myself and leaned against the railing.
“I think that’s why I didn’t reply to you right away,” I admitted. “Not because I wasn’t interested. But because I was. And I didn’t trust what that meant. Not with... everything.”
He turned to face me now, really looking. The air between us felt stiller than the water below.
“I’m not asking for all of it,” he said. “Not tonight. Not ever, if it’s not yours to give. But I’m here. If you ever want to share it.”
I blinked once. My throat went tight.
And then—because I didn’t trust myself to say something real without ruining it—I said, lightly, “You sure? I come with a lot of disclaimers.”
“So do I,” he said, that grin flickering back for half a second. “Mine’s just in smaller print.”
He stepped back from the railing first, nudging my shoulder lightly with his. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
“There’s a place not far,” he said. “Locals only. You’ll love it. Best ramen of your life.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Big claim.”
He gave me a look over his shoulder—smug, boyish. “Just trust me.”
We walked a few blocks through the quiet back alleys of Tokyo, our footsteps soft against the stone. The city had truly exhaled now—no honks, no voices, just the hush of neon reflections and the low hum of a vending machine somewhere behind us. The ramen spot was tucked between a 24-hour florist and a hardware shop that looked like it hadn’t changed in thirty years. No sign. Just a cracked wooden noren curtain over the door and the faint scent of broth that hit me like a hug.
Lando pushed it open. A small bell rang.
Inside, there were only eight seats. A couple of salarymen hunched over steaming bowls. A woman in scrubs laughed softly into her phone near the back. No tourists. No cameras. Just steam and soy and the warm clatter of real life. We sat at the end of the bar. The owner—an older man in a faded black apron—gave Lando a small nod of recognition, like they’d done this before. No fanfare. Just comfort.
“They serve ceremonial-grade matcha here too,” Lando said, unrolling his sleeves. “You know. In case you’re judging my taste.”
“I always am.”
His grin curved slow, deliberate. “Yeah, but you like me anyway.”
“I tolerate you,” I said, though my mouth was already twitching into a smile.
He ordered for both of us in quiet, easy Japanese. I tucked my hands into my coat sleeves, watching him speak, watching the familiarity settle around him like he’d worn it in.
“You come here often?” I asked, curious.
He glanced over. “When I’m in Japan, yeah. I found it during my first season. I’d just had a crap quali, couldn’t sleep. Walked around for an hour and ended up here. The guy behind the counter didn’t ask who I was. Just gave me tea and told me I looked like I needed carbs.”
“He was right.”
“He was wise.”
The matcha came first. Earthy. Smooth. Poured into two tiny cups without ceremony but somehow still reverent. I wrapped my fingers around the warmth and watched the steam curl upward.
Lando sipped his, then tilted his head. “So what’s it like?”
“What?”
“Surviving between the lines. Keeping the real stuff locked up while everyone else reads the script they’ve written for you.”
I blinked. He didn’t ask it like a trap. Just a gentle curiosity. Like he’d lived a version of it too.
“It’s like holding your breath in a room full of people who think you’re already singing,” I said eventually.
Lando leaned his forearms on the counter. “That’s a hell of an answer.”
I shrugged, quiet. “I guess I just got good at breathing where no one can hear it.”
He watched me for a second, eyes softer now. The corners crinkled a little when he smiled. “Well, for the record… I hear it. Even when you don’t say anything.”
Before I could reply, the bowls arrived—perfect, steaming, golden. Fat noodles, soft-boiled eggs, ribbons of pork and spring onions like art. Lando lit up like a kid on Christmas.
“Oh my God,” he said, pushing his hair back with both hands like the sight was too good to be real. “Tell me that doesn’t look life-changing.”
I laughed. Actually laughed. Pulled out my phone instinctively.
“You’re photographing the ramen?” he asked.
I aimed the lens at him instead. “I’m photographing your dumb happy face. And then the ramen.”
He smirked. “U gonna post that?”
I looked up over the edge of my phone.
“No way,” I said, more serious than I meant to. “I’m still waiting on the Leila call. Can’t risk it. Gotta be careful.”
He paused, chopsticks mid-air. “So you don’t want to get caught eating ramen with me?”
My mouth opened. “Of course not—” I stopped, blinked.
Lando tilted his head, lips twitching.
I narrowed my eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, I know what you meant,” he said, smug. “Just having fun watching you panic.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“You’re flustered.”
“Shut up and eat your noodles.”
But I couldn’t help the flush on my cheeks, or the stupid smile tugging at the edge of my mouth. And when he took his first bite and actually closed his eyes in delight, I snapped the photo anyway. Just for me. Just in case the moment ever tried to pretend it wasn’t real.
I woke to soft light slipping through the hotel curtains and the distant sound of a tram churning down the street. My phone buzzed faintly on the nightstand, but I didn’t reach for it. Not yet.
For a moment, I just lay there. Curled under the blanket, bare feet tangled in the sheets, listening to the hum of Tokyo waking up around me.
Josh was still asleep in the next room, judging by the faint snoring I could hear through the connecting door. I slipped out of bed and padded across the suite, tugging on one of the hotel robes and twisting my hair into a low knot. My reflection in the bathroom mirror looked soft around the edges—sleep-warmed, slightly puffy, like I hadn’t worn makeup in two days. Which I hadn’t.
I washed my face. Brushed my teeth. Opened the window slightly to let the city in.
Then, finally, I checked my phone. Twelve unread texts. Four missed calls (all Andrea). And—
X: 57 new notifications.
I blinked. Tapped. The first post hit like a splash of cold water.
@F1obsessed:
wait was that ACTUALLY Y/N at Suzuka yesterday?? jacket, sunglasses, lowkey af but... that looked like her 🫢
@filmcrimes:
if Y/N was at the McLaren paddock and I missed it I’m going to eat drywall
@mclando.jpg:
not saying anything but the timing of her Tokyo trip + Lando’s grin post-race + the fact that she’s literally her... I’m watching this space 👀
@trendwatchqueen:
Her PR team’s gonna pretend she was “on vacation” but she doesn’t just show up at the Japan GP.........
I exhaled sharply. Half-laughed.
The photo was blurry, taken from a distance—me in the paddock, jacket up, lanyard half-tucked into my jacket. Josh was beside me. You could barely see my face. But somehow, they still knew.
The comments were a mixture of awe, curiosity, and cynicism. A few kind ones. A few accusing me of chasing headlines again. Someone had tagged a three-month-old gossip article with a screenshot of Lando’s follow on my profile.
I scrolled once more, searching any evidence we'd got caught together last night. When I couldn't find any, I exhaled in relieve, then locked my phone. Set it down beside my untouched cup of tea.
There were no photos from last night. No one had seen us walking, or talking, or sitting side by side on a bridge. But still, the math was being done: Suzuka + his interview + the Instagram follow. And suddenly, the internet had a theory.
The thing was—I hadn’t done anything. I hadn’t posted. Hadn’t clung to his arm. Hadn’t worn a team cap or smiled for a single camera. I’d just been there.
And still, the story was writing itself.
I sat at the small table by the window, knees pulled up under the robe, and watched the city below. Tokyo moved forward anyway. Gracefully. Indifferently. No one here cared who I was or who I might be standing next to.
A small knock sounded from the door.
Josh’s voice followed, muffled: “Did you see X?”
“Unfortunately,” I called back.
He cracked the door open, still in pajama pants and a T-shirt with miso soup on it. “Andrea called me. She’s spiral-texting.”
“I know. I haven’t answered yet.”
“She’s gonna fly here just to wrestle your phone out of your hand.”
I smiled faintly, gaze still out the window. “Let her try.”
He padded in and leaned against the wall, sipping from a canned coffee. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
I looked up at him. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No,” he said simply. “You didn’t.”
I let the quiet settle between us again, then added softly, “But I don’t know what this makes me. Not yet.”
Josh crossed the room, dropped a gentle hand on my shoulder. “You’re still you. Even if people are trying to turn you into a headline.”
I didn’t reply. I just reached for my tea, let it warm my hands, and stared out at Tokyo like it might give me answers I couldn’t Google.
I was still holding the teacup when my phone buzzed again. Not X this time. Not Andrea. Lando. His name blinked at the top of my screen like it knew I’d been waiting. I hesitated, thumb hovering. Then tapped.
@lando: so… you’ve broken the internet again
I stared at it. Then let the smallest laugh slip out, soft and surprised. I typed a response slowly, still curled in the robe, still tired.
@Y/N: yeah apparently
I smiled. Let the screen dim. Lit it back up again. Another message came in just as I was about to set the phone down.
@lando: for what it’s worth
@lando: I’m glad you came
My breath caught a little. No joke this time. No emoji. Just… that. Simple. Honest. A thread being held gently, offered but not pulled. I stared at the message longer than I meant to. Not because I didn’t know what to say—but because it felt like the kind of text you don’t reply to too fast. Like it deserved space to breathe.
Finally, I typed.
@Y/N: me too
@Y/N: even if I spent half the race trying to hide inside my jacket
@lando: you were very obvious
@lando: but I liked it
@lando: and last night.. you are not the worst company :p
My heart gave a quiet, traitorous thud. And for a moment, I forgot about the tweets. The storylines being stitched together without my consent. Because here, in this thread—he wasn’t a headline. He was just him. And I was just… me.
Typing slowly. Letting myself mean it.
@Y/N: ha ha funny
@Y/N: you weren't so bad either
@Y/N: and thanks for not pretending I wasn’t there
He replied almost instantly.
@lando: i couldn’t. you’re kind of hard to ignore
The screen was still lit with Lando’s message when Andrea’s name lit up underneath. I hesitated for exactly three seconds. Then picked up.
“Hi.”
“Are you kidding me?” Andrea’s voice came in sharp, breathless. “You’re trending in two countries and you didn’t even warn me?”
I winced. “Good morning to you too.”
“I’ve had three calls, two emails, and one panicked assistant asking if you’re dating a Formula 1 driver. And do you know what I told them?”
I sat down on the edge of the bed. “That I was following Josh around the paddock?”
“That you were in Japan, yes. Not walking into the most visible sporting event in Asia in sunglasses like a movie poster.”
I rubbed my temples. “To be fair, I was trying to blend in.”
“And yet,” she said dryly, “the internet CSI’d your ass in under four hours.”
I took a breath. Quiet. Measured.
“Okay. Look. I need to tell you something,” I said softly. “Just to give you a heads-up. Just in case.”
There was a pause on her end. “Go on.”
“I… saw Lando last night.”
Silence.
“I didn’t plan it. I was just walking. Couldn’t sleep. I ran into him. He saw me. I saw him. That was all.”
She exhaled like she was blowing air through a straw. “Y/N…”
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t—nothing happened, not like that. We just talked and ate. That’s it. I’m telling you now because I know what it looks like, even if it’s not what it is.”
Andrea sighed, long and tired. “No one’s caught that. Yet. But you need to be so careful. This is a pressure cooker. Leila is still in play.”
My heart tightened. “Has Kassner’s team said anything?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “They emailed this morning. Asking if the current media attention is expected to ‘escalate.’”
That pulled me up straighter. “And you said…?”
“I said no. That your trip was personal. Family. Low-profile.”
I swallowed. “And if they ask again?”
She was quiet for a beat. Then: “You tell me first. Always.”
I closed my eyes. “Okay.”
“And no posts. No vague captions. Not until we know where this is going.”
“I understand.”
Her tone softened. “I’m not mad.”
“I know.”
“I just want you to get what you’ve earned.”
I nodded, voice quiet. “So do I.”
We ended the call a minute later. I set the phone down beside my tea, which had long since gone cold. The truth was simple. I hadn’t done anything. But something had still begun. And this time—I couldn’t pretend not to feel it.
I didn’t move for a while after we hung up.
Just sat there in the middle of the unmade hotel bed, robe wrapped around me, phone warm in my palm. Outside, Tokyo glittered under soft daylight—indifferent to whatever storm had started swirling inside my chest.
I was reaching for my cold tea when my phone rang again.
Unknown number.
No hesitation this time. I answered on the second ring.
“Hello?”
A pause. Then a warm, professional voice, American. “Hi—is this Y/N?”
“Yes.”
“Hi, this is Sabrina Lee with Kassner Productions. I’m calling on behalf of Julian and the creative team. Is now a good time?”
My pulse skipped. “Yes. Of course.”
“Great. I’ll keep this brief—I know you’re traveling. First, I just wanted to thank you for your presence at the callback reading. Julian was incredibly moved by your interpretation. It’s rare, he said, to see someone understand silence the way you do.”
My breath caught. I managed a quiet, “Thank you.”
“There’s been a lot of internal conversation these past few days. A few final meetings still happening, but you’re one of two names in serious consideration for Leila. Julian asked me to personally make sure you know that. Whatever happens next, you’ve already shifted the room.”
I didn’t speak. Couldn’t.
Sabrina’s voice softened. “That said, there’s been some... recent online attention. Nothing disqualifying. Just noise. The kind of thing producers flag.”
I closed my eyes. “I understand.”
“We don’t need a public statement or denial. Julian’s not interested in clickbait. But he is protective of the emotional tone of this film. If you do choose to engage with the public narrative, he’s hoping you’ll do it with the same precision and restraint you brought to the script.”
Precision and restraint. I could do that. I already had.
“I understand,” I said again. “And thank you. For calling.”
“Of course. And—off the record?” she added lightly, like we were suddenly two people again instead of roles on a call. “You were my pick.”
I smiled before I could stop it. “Thank you.”
“We’ll be in touch very soon,” she said. “Safe travels, Y/N.”
The call ended.
I let the silence wrap around me, this time a little warmer. A little steadier. They hadn’t said it outright. But I could feel it. I was no longer just auditioning. I was in the room.
All I had to do now… was hold it.
New York City was louder than I remembered. Maybe it was just me. Or maybe Tokyo had carved out something softer in my brain, a gentler rhythm that didn’t slam the car door or honk before the light changed.
Josh hugged me at the airport before disappearing into the crowd with his backpack, already texting someone about vintage vinyl. I slipped into the backseat of my waiting car, hoodie pulled up, sunglasses on—even though the sun hadn’t fully risen yet.
By the time I reached my apartment, the sky had gone that silvery gray that made everything feel like a memory.
Inside, everything was where I left it. The folded laundry. The dog-eared script still sitting on the kitchen island. A half-empty matcha bottle in the fridge that had somehow survived the week.
I hugged Chili—who seemed to tolerate me today and fed her favorite treats. Took a long shower. Put on clean clothes and didn’t check my email.
There was nothing new yet. No subject line. No final word. Instead, I unpacked slowly. Ritualistically. As if the act of folding each piece back into its drawer might bring clarity with it.
Around noon, I curled up on the couch with my laptop open and half a bagel balanced on a napkin beside me. The city moved outside my windows like it always did—fast and full of its own stories.
I was reading the callback scene again—not out of necessity, but muscle memory—when my phone buzzed.
@lando sent you a photo.
Just that. No message.
I tapped it open.
It was a blurry shot from an airplane window. Dark sky. A trail of city lights below, twinkling through faint cloud cover. In the corner, the edge of a hoodie sleeve. His knee pulled up, like he was sitting curled into the seat.
A second later, the text came through.
@lando:
somewhere over nowhere
I stared at it. The simplicity of it. I didn’t reply right away. Just held the phone in my palm, thumb resting over the screen like it might translate everything I couldn’t say out loud.
Then slowly, I typed:
@Y/N:
i’m home
the city’s loud
you’d hate it.
He replied two minutes later.
@lando:
maybe
unless you were there too
And that… was it. No pressure. No push. Just a thread left open. Lightly held. I didn’t know what would happen next. Not with Leila. Not with him.
But for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t reaching. I wasn’t proving. I wasn’t performing. I was here. In the in-between.
And somehow, that felt like a beginning too.
It was just after 3 PM when the email came in.
I’d spent the past hour answering Andrea’s backlog of “housekeeping” notes—thank-you replies, brand inquiries, a gentle decline to a talk show offer—and was finally eating something that wasn’t toast when my laptop pinged.
The subject line froze me. My heart slipped sideways. I set the bowl down. Wiped my hands on my sweatpants. Clicked.
Subject: Chemistry Read + Director Meeting — “Leila”
From: [email protected]
Received: 3:04 PM
Dear Y/N,
Thank you again for your work in last week’s callback. Julian and the creative team were deeply impressed by your performance and would like to invite you to the next phase of consideration.
This will consist of:
– A chemistry read with Reed Brody, scheduled for next Thursday, 1:30 PM
– A follow-up one-on-one creative meeting with Julian Kassner directly, same day
We will provide sides, location, and prep materials in a follow-up email. Please confirm availability as soon as possible.
Warm regards,
Sabrina Lee
Associate Casting Director
Kassner Productions
I sat back, blinking.
Chemistry read. With Reed Brody—of all people. He was brilliant. Charismatic. Unpredictable. And, if rumors were to be believed, exhausting on set.
And then a meeting. Just me. And Julian.
No cameras. No audience. Just the two of us and whatever he needed to see in me that hadn’t already been said in a line of dialogue.
I clicked Reply before my nerves could start asking questions.
Dear Sabrina,
Thank you for the update. I’m honored to move forward and confirm full availability for both the chemistry read and the meeting with Julian. I look forward to receiving the materials.
Warmly,
Y/N
I hit send. Closed the laptop.
Let the silence spread out around me. This was it. The last threshold. The space between maybe and yes. Between being one of two… and being the name at the top of the call sheet. And for the first time in weeks, the thought didn’t terrify me.
I called Andrea the second I’d finished replying the email. No greetings, no warmup.
“They scheduled the chemistry read. Thursday. Backlot Studio 4.”
There was a pause on her end, followed by a too-calm, “I know.”
I blinked. “You knew?”
“I knew,” she repeated, unbothered, like we were discussing weather patterns.
“How long?”
“Long enough to make sure your calendar stayed open and your outfits don’t clash with the walls.”
I sank onto the edge of my bed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I wanted you focused on Kassner’s meeting. And because I knew you’d freaked out,” she said. “Which, by the way, you’re doing now.”
I was quiet. My fingers picked at a thread on my sweatpants. “Do you know who else got called?”
There was another pause. This one was less strategic. “Yes.”
“And?”
Andrea sighed. “Arden. Arden Lin.”
My stomach flipped. Of course.
“She’s talented,” I muttered. “Really good. Especially in Running River.”
“She is,” Andrea agreed. “And her agent’s a total vulture. She’ll play dirty if she thinks it’ll get Arden the part.”
I leaned back, pressing the phone against my cheek like it could anchor me. “She’s the industry’s golden girl right now. Sweet, innocent, untouched. And I’m... not that.”
Andrea didn’t rush to disagree. She let the words hang before saying gently, “You’re not the image. You’re the real thing. There’s a difference.”
I swallowed. “So what now?”
“Now, you prep. You sleep. You don’t let this get in your head. You walk in like you’re the one they already want—and give them a reason to believe it.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “Right.”
“And Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not worried. Neither should you be. But keep your eyes open.”
“Always.”
It started with a message.
@lando: heard new york’s the best place to lay low. lucky for me i’ve got a local expert
@lando: got a few days off before bahrain. planning to spend them the new yorker way
@lando: recommendations welcome.
I stared at it, still in my robe, half-dressed for an impromptu self-tape I hadn’t even started filming. I didn’t reply immediately. Not because I didn’t want to—I did, maybe too much—but because my brain was too full. Kassner. Arden. The scene I needed to read for the chemistry test. My skin felt too thin already.
But an hour later, when I sat down with my usual matcha from 7th Ave and my cat curled by my feet, I gave in.
@Y/N: big final audition coming up. can’t afford a run-in with the papz right now. but I’ll send you recs
@Y/N: starting with this.
I dropped a link to my favorite noodle bar in the Village. One he’d never find on his own. Then added a Google Maps pin, because I couldn’t help myself.
He didn’t reply until later that night, but when he did, he sent a photo — the corner of the restaurant’s menu with his watch half-visible in the shot, and a single word: Approved.
The next day, I sent him a bakery.
@Y/N: order the miso-butter croissant. trust me.
He responded with three fire emojis and a grainy zoomed-in pic of it already half-eaten.
@lando: what’s next, professor? this syllabus slaps
By the third day, I was knee-deep in script notes when he sent another message.
@lando: okay but hear me out
@lando: what if.. and I’m just saying this hypothetically....
@lando: you came with me next time.
@lando: strict disguise. full anonymity. we do a wardrobe swap. you wear something from my closet, i wear something from yours. no one would ever suspect
I paused, thumbs hovering above my phone, smiling despite myself.
@Y/N: so you’re suggesting we go incognito in full swap mode?
@Lando: exactly. add your cat and we’re unstoppable
@Lando: let’s go be anonymous together
The temptation didn’t hit me all at once.
It came in flickers—little tugs beneath the surface every time his name lit up on my screen.
Part of me wanted to say no. To stay focused. To stay smart. But then he’d send a picture of a miso croissant he’d half-devoured with the caption '10/10. Flaky like my dating history'.
Or a voice memo from some alley jazz bar he’d stumbled into that he said “smelled like cigarettes and poetry and your taste in movies.”
And suddenly I’d forget I was supposed to be cautious.
When he suggested going undercover together—the wardrobe swap—I stared at the message longer than I should’ve. My first instinct was to shut it down. Politely. Something like “Rain check. Can’t risk it.”
But the truth was, I didn’t want to rain check. Not this time.
After a full day of overthinking it, I closed my laptop, stared at Chili who tilted her head at me like she already knew, and muttered out loud, “Fuck it. Let’s do this.”
I sent the message.
@Y/N: i have one condition, big disguise, HUGE
@Y/N: and we leave through the back exit
He replied in less than five seconds.
@lando: you just made my whole week
@lando: Operation Fashion Fugitive commences.
PART 2 here
hii!! i was trying to make this as a oneshot but it exceeds the wordcount limit soo decided to split it into 2 parts ㅠㅠ anyways hope you like it <3
Oscar Piastri was never the loudest part of her world, but he was the quiet she trusted. Through time zones and voice notes, they held each other in the spaces between. Until life pulled faster than love could catch.
Pairing: Oscar Piastri x fem! reader
Genre: Angst
TW: Emotional betrayal
It had been one of those days at Oxford where time slipped through my fingers like sand—lecture halls blurred into seminar rooms, my notes unreadable from speed, and my brain a buzzing, overcaffeinated mess. Between moot court prep and legal writing workshops, I barely have time to eat, let alone breathe. Lunch is often a granola bar between classes, coffee always lukewarm by the time I get to it. My evenings are for the library, hunched over a desk under the dim glow of a study lamp, chasing clarity in case law and constitutional theories.
By the time I emerged from the library, dusk had already settled over the stone courtyards, casting everything in a soft, golden hush. My back ached from hours hunched over case law, and my phone, long forgotten at the bottom of my tote, buzzed faintly against the worn leather. The screen lit up with notifications: unread messages from my study group, two missed calls from my assignment partner, a dozen emails flagged as urgent. But none from Oscar. Oscar Piastri—known to the world for the way he tamed speed, but to me, simply the boy I called mine.
I’ve known Oscar since long before either of us had titles attached to our names. We met back in boarding school—he’d just moved from Australia, all limbs and awkward silences, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t think much of him at first. He was… odd. Quiet. Kind of twitchy. And when someone mentioned he’d come here to pursue a racing career, I thought it was the nerdiest thing I’d ever heard. Who uproots their life for go-karts? Still, there was something about the way he carried that dream—quietly, almost stubbornly—that made me curious.
We ended up lab partners—random assignment, fate, who knows. That’s when things shifted. Not all at once, but slowly. Oscar wasn’t the brightest in class, but he was steady. He showed up to every study group, completed every task with a quiet kind of thoughtfulness—except on weekends or the days he was off at the track, unreachable but somehow still present.
The feelings came softly, like turning a page and realizing you’ve already read it a hundred times. It was in the way I began noticing things; how he took his coffee, how his laugh cracked when he was overtired, or how his brown eyes catch the sunlight and turn to honey. And then the traveling got busier, from one continent to another for Formula 2. That’s when it hit me—just how much space he took up in my world. How quiet the library became without him beside me, how no one stole my boxed milk at lunch anymore. How no one else knew which hallway I’d always linger in between classes.
Even when he was away, we never really stopped talking. And slowly, I learned the distance didn’t dilute the feeling—it only made it clearer. One midnight, when the world was still and he was thousands of miles away, he told me he felt it too. That everything between us wasn’t just in my head. And from that night on, we’ve been together.
It hasn’t always been easy. There have been arguments—most of them fueled by the ache of not being in the same place, of time zones and missed calls. But we made it work. We met each other in the middle. We built something on texts, on late-night FaceTimes every other day, on showing up in the small ways that mattered.
And we held on. Up until now.
He’d flown back to Melbourne for the Australian Grand Prix—home race, the first race of this season, he’d said in his last proper text, the one where he promised to call once things settled. “Been back for a few days now. Kinda surreal. I’ll call you after media day, yeah?” That was three days ago. Since then, just the occasional heart-react, a one-word reply to something she sent late at night. Not cold. Not exactly distant. Just… thin. Like trying to hold onto someone through a fog. And now, sitting alone in the far corner of the library, surrounded by the low hum of students packing up, the absence of his name on her screen felt louder than anything else.
My phone had been quiet all day. Again.
It sat face down on the edge of my desk, beside a forgotten cup of tea that had long gone cold—milk skin forming at the surface, like a film of something left too long unattended. Like me.
No missed calls. No new voice notes. Not even one of his blurry selfies from the paddock, all helmet hair and half-smiles captioned "just survived FP2." The last thing I had from him was a text from yesterday at 2:08 a.m where I’d sent him a cover video of me singing with a guitar. It was mandatory before a race weekend, he used to said.
Oscar: Sounds good. Sleep well
No follow-up. No warmth. Just a sentence that felt more like an automatic response than something meant for me. I reread it anyway. Like maybe if I squinted hard enough, I’d find more meaning tucked between the words.
I should’ve been working. There was a stack of notes on my desk, color-coded tabs sticking out like paper wounds. The mock trial was in three days. My team was counting on me. I hadn’t even finished outlining my closing argument.
But my mind was elsewhere. Stuck in a holding pattern around someone who felt further away every time I tried to reach him.
Lately, I’d started doing this thing. Every night, after my last class or study session or library sprint—I’d record a voice note. Not long ones. Just small pieces of my day. Like breadcrumbs. Like a trail back to me. For him.
So that when the chaos quieted—when the interviews stopped and the engines fell silent—he could find his way home through them. He could press play, and there I’d be. Still here. Still loving him in the in-between.
I told myself that maybe, one day, he’d listen to them all in one go, headphones on, eyes closed, smiling like he used to. And we’d catch up on everything we missed—not in real time, but in heartbeats stored in voice memos.
I opened the app. Hit record. My voice sounded thinner than usual.
"Hey," I said, and waited. The silence after that one word felt heavier than it should. “I know it’s probably past midnight over there. Or… early. I keep messing up the time difference.”
A soft laugh escaped me, more breath than sound. I hated how I sounded. Tired. Hopeful. Small.
“I hope you’re sleeping, though. You looked tired in the photos from media day. I saw the clip from the press conference. That question about Lando made you laugh—your real laugh, not the PR one.”
I paused, thumb hovering over the stop button.
“I miss that. I miss you.”
The words hung there.
Too vulnerable. Too much.
I sat with them for a second, staring at the wall across from me like it might offer a better version of myself.
Then I sighed, and started over.
"Hey. Just checking in. Hope you’re resting. Good luck tomorrow. You’ll kill it."
I sent that one. Short. Clean. Non-intrusive. The kind of message someone could reply to with a single emoji. And lately, that’s all I ever seemed to get.
Once, he would’ve called the second he heard my voice—told me I sounded sleepy and asked if I was still drinking that terrible instant coffee. I'd sent a video of my cat pawing at his headphones he had left home, and he told me he missed hearing me play the piano in the background when I studied.
Once, I was the person he reached for first.
Now, I wasn’t sure I even made the list.
Sometimes I wondered if he was drifting from me on purpose—or if he didn’t even notice he was pulling away. Maybe it wasn’t deliberate. Maybe it was just what happened when your lives started to run parallel instead of intertwined.
I picked up my phone again and scrolled up through our chat.
Oscar: Call me when you wake up x
Oscar: You’d laugh at what I just said in the drivers’ briefing lol
Oscar: I’ll FaceTime you after quali, promise
That one stung. That promise had gone unkept three times in a row now.
I scrolled up further. To voice notes I used to replay when I missed him.
“Love you. Don’t forget to eat today.”
“I’ll be back before you know it.”
“You’re the best part of my day, you know that?”
It didn’t feel like that now. Not anymore.
I didn’t want to admit it, but part of me was starting to wonder what it meant when someone stopped making room for you. Not all at once—no loud exit, no sharp turn. Just a quiet, slow fading. Like the dimming of a light you didn’t notice had grown weak until you were suddenly sitting in the dark.
I wrapped myself tighter in my sweater, let my tea grow colder. Oxford’s sky outside my window was heavy with clouds, the kind that never gave way to proper rain—just a dull, oppressive gray. The streetlights had already flickered on. The city was winding down. Except for me.
I was still here. Still waiting.
“Hey, Osc.
I know you probably won’t hear this until morning—or maybe after qualifying—but I just wanted to say good luck tomorrow. I’ll be watching, even if I have to sneak it between lectures.
You’re going to be brilliant. You always are.
Also… I’m sorry I’ve been a little quiet. Things here have just been a lot lately. Law school is kind of relentless right now and I didn’t want to add noise to your already chaotic week. But that’s not fair. I should’ve still shown up..
I miss you… Just… drive safe. And don’t forget to breathe before Turn 1. You always forget to breathe there.
Call me anytime, okay? I hope you feel me cheering for you—loudly—even from across the world.”
By morning, the voice note was marked as “played.” That was the first thing I saw when I reached for my phone—half-asleep, still tangled in sheets and the warmth of things I wanted to believe were still true. I blinked at the screen, heart ticking a little faster in that silly, soft way it always did before a race day. Waiting for his reply. His voice. Something.
Instead, a single sticker appeared. The one with the cartoon thumbs-up.
That was it.
No “morning, you,”
No “wish you were here,”
Not even a tired little selfie from the paddock with a half-smile that said nerves are kicking in.
Just… a sticker.
I stared at it for a long moment, thumb hovering over the screen like touching it might coax something more out of him. Something warmer. Something real.
He’d always called before qualifying. Always. Even when the Wi-Fi was terrible or he only had five minutes between briefings. Even when he was exhausted or cranky or losing his voice. He’d FaceTime me—camera low, his hair messy, helmet half-off, and that crooked smile that made everything else feel a little lighter.
But today? Nothing.
I told myself maybe it was different this time. Maybe his whole family was there for the home race. Maybe his mum was fussing over his breakfast and Hattie had stolen his phone to post something embarrassing. Maybe being surrounded by people who had known him since he was small was comfort enough—and I wasn’t needed this time in the same way.
That was okay, wasn’t it?
Still, something in me sagged. A quiet fold of something unspoken.
I set the phone down, facedown this time. Tried to get on with my day.
But even as I packed my books for the library and tied my hair back for another endless shift at the study desk, that tiny sticker reply followed me like a shadow. Harmless. Casual. Forgettable to anyone else.
But not to me. To me, it felt like being answered with silence in a language I used to be fluent in.
I’d tried FaceTiming him—after class, after reworking the ending to my mock trial argument, even right before I fell asleep. Every time, it rang out unanswered. No reply. No emojis. Just the quiet echo of a line that used to feel like home. So today, I recorded a voice note, again.
Hey…
I saw quali. P2. That’s—wow. That’s amazing, Oscar.
You were brilliant yesterday. Good luck for today, O. I hope you drive safe and smart and maybe send me a little smile later, yeah?
I miss you..
By the time I woke up, the race was just starting.
The group chat from my study group had already started buzzing—last-minute case outlines, a panicked voice note about courtroom posture, and two frantic messages about the mock trial dress code. I scrolled through it all mechanically, thumb swiping while my mind waited for something else. For one name. One notification.
There was nothing from him. Again.
No reply to last night’s voice note.
No FaceTime call.
No “wish me luck” the way he always used to say it—casual, like it didn’t matter, but always with that boyish smile that said it actually meant everything.
I stared at my phone a little longer than I should’ve, letting the silence settle in my chest like fog.
Last year, for the Australian Grand Prix, he’d FaceTimed me at 5 a.m. my time. I’d picked up groggily, barely awake, and he’d grinned through his screen in full race gear.
“Told myself I needed to see your face or I’d mess up Turn 1,” he’d joked.
“You’re ridiculous,” I’d said.
“Maybe. But I’m lucky,” he answered.
Even when time zones tangled us, he made space. Two minutes here. A quick call while walking to the garage. Once, just to hear my voice before lights out.
But this time? Nothing.
I told myself not to overthink it. Maybe his family was with him—maybe the paddock was crowded, or the nerves were louder this year. Maybe he needed to stay focused. Maybe he thought I’d understand.
And part of me did. I knew the pressure. I’d watched it from up close. But the other part—the one that used to be his—felt like it was slowly being replaced by silence. Sticker replies. Missed calls. Half-hearted heart reactions on things he used to comment on.
It wasn’t just distance. It felt like absence.
I set my phone down, face-up this time. Just in case. Just in case he called.
But deep down, I already knew. Today wasn’t going to be like last year.
My day was already packed—mock trial prep with my teammates, case brief revisions, printing final documents, ironing out cross-examinations over bad coffee. It was one of those days where the air felt too thin and the hours too fast. My phone stayed buried at the bottom of my tote, buzzing occasionally with study group updates and debate edits.
I didn’t even watch the race—not properly. Just caught glimpses when someone opened F1 Twitter or whispered a result under their breath. At some point, someone mentioned Oscar had finished P2.
I smiled faintly and kept flipping through my notecards, repeating a closing argument under my breath. There was no time to overthink.
But during one of our breaks—when I finally let myself sit down with my tea—I opened Twitter.
And there she was.
A blurry screen cap from the broadcast. Hattie—Oscar's sister standing in the garage. Beside her—a girl I didn’t recognize. Beautiful blonde hair. Big sunglasses. Wearing those big team headphones. Laughing, her hand brushing Hattie’s arm like they were familiar. Like they’d known each other for years.
My heart stuttered, but I brushed it off quickly. Maybe a cousin. A family friend. Someone from Melbourne they grew up with. That made sense. Hattie had a wide circle. So did Oscar. I told myself not to spiral. Not to read too much into things.
But then I kept scrolling. The algorithm knew before I did.
Clips began popping up on TikTok. Snippets of that girl again—this time, in the garage. In Oscar’s garage. A video taken from afar. Yet they stood too close. Laughing too loud. Someone had recorded them from the stands. The comments were crowded and loud.
“Who is Oscar’s girlfriend? This isn’t the usual one we’ve seen.”
“Soft launch???”
“Where’s the other girl??”
The other girl. Me.
My stomach dropped. I locked my phone. Put it screen-down. Tried to breathe through it. Tried to focus.
I told myself the internet makes everything seem louder than it is. That people don’t know anything. That maybe it was just badly framed, edited out of context. I told myself I had a mock trial in less than 24 hours and now wasn’t the time to fall apart.
So I pushed it down. I pushed it all down.
Focused on the courtroom. On my voice. On the facts. On the law.
And when it was finally over—when I’d delivered my statement and shaken the judges’ hands and smiled through the exhaustion—I found myself outside the building, in the gray Oxford light, dialing Oscar’s number with trembling fingers.
It rang.
And rang.
No answer.
So I texted the only thing I could.
You: are we okay?
And then, when the silence stretched too long and I couldn’t stand the not-knowing anymore, I did something I hadn’t done in months.
I messaged Hattie.
You: Hey. Is Oscar okay? Is he healthy? Sorry, it’s just been really quiet on his end and I’m not sure if… I don’t know. Just worried, I guess.
She replied ten minutes later.
Hattie: Hey Y/N! He’s out right now! He went to dinner with Maddie and some friends.
You: Glad to know he’s okay. Who’s Maddie?
Hattie: Oh! It’s Oscar’s close friend, the one who came to the race with us yesterday. He’s been spending time with her and some friends after the race. Thought you were with him too this week??
I stared at her message until the words lost meaning.
Maddie. The name settled like dust in my chest—familiar in the way old things sometimes are. I remembered it now, suddenly, vividly. One night years ago, back in the dorms, we were curled up on the floor eating instant noodles and teasing each other about exes. I’d asked if he’d ever been in love before, half-joking, and he’d shrugged, grinned a little, and said, “There was a Maddie. Long time ago. I was in junior high.” I hadn’t thought about it since. Until now. Until Hattie said her name like I was supposed to know her place.
Dinner. Maddie. Came to the race with us. Thought I knew.
I didn’t.
And suddenly, I wasn’t even sure what I did know anymore.
It wasn’t cheating. That was the first thing I told myself. Over and over, like a line from a textbook I was trying to memorize.
It wasn’t cheating. He hadn’t touched her. He hadn’t kissed her. He hadn’t said anything cruel or final.
And yet, it felt like something sacred had been undone.
Because what he gave her—his time, his nearness, the small pieces of his day—that used to be mine. Used to be ours. He used to FaceTime me even when his eyes were half-closing from exhaustion. Used to send voice notes from the back of the garage, laugh whispering into the phone like it was a secret just for me. He used to say “Two minutes is enough if it’s with you.”
And now, all I had were those words from Hattie.
Maddie. Dinner. Thought you knew. Thought you were with him.
I didn’t.
I didn’t know a thing.
The mock trial had ended yesterday, but I didn’t feel anything. No relief. No pride. Just silence ringing in my ears as my teammates celebrated with group pictures and takeaway food, their voices echoing around me like I was underwater.
It hit slowly, like a tide coming in.
I came home that night and everything was still. The kind of still that feels staged. Like the room was pretending to be normal so I wouldn’t notice what had changed.
I took off my blazer, sat on the edge of the bed, and stared at the floor for a long time.
And then I saw them. The biscuits.
Still sealed. Shoved into the back of my pantry, right where I’d left them weeks ago—his favorite kind, the ones with the buttery centers. I’d bought them on impulse when I thought he might be visiting in April. I remember checking the expiry date. Making sure they’d still be good.
They were still good.
I wasn’t.
I left them there and moved into the bathroom, needing to do something, anything. That’s when I saw his toothbrush—soft-bristled, pale blue, still standing in the glass beside mine like it belonged here.
I stared at it too long.
Too long to pretend I was okay.
And then the final undoing. The photo.
It fell out from between the pages of a notebook I was clearing—tucked there like a pressed flower I didn’t remember saving. It was from that photo booth in Barcelona. We’d gotten soaked in the rain and ducked into a tiny alley café, and there was a booth by the back wall. Four frames of both of us—laughing, my hair damp and wild, his hand half-covering the lens in the last one because he’d been trying to pull me closer. We looked… impossibly happy.
And I broke.
Just like that. No warning. No storm.
I sank to the floor, photo still in my hand, and let the weight of it all finally crack me open. The grief wasn’t sharp—it was slow, aching, familiar. Mourning someone who hadn’t died, just slowly faded from the version of them you once loved.
I wasn’t crying because he cheated.
I was crying because I didn’t know we’d already ended.
Because he’d left me behind gently, silently, like putting down a book you don’t plan to finish, but can’t quite bring yourself to close.
Because he stopped letting me in quietly, and I hadn’t even noticed the door closing.
Because somewhere along the way, I stopped being the person he shared his days with.
I didn’t plan on calling him. Not really.
I’d rehearsed the words in my head a dozen times, tucked them into half-written texts, whispered them in the dark like a secret I wasn’t sure I was ready to say out loud. But that night, when the quiet became too loud and the weight of everything I hadn’t said pressed against my ribs, I found myself holding the phone again.
One ring.
Then two.
Then three.
He answered on the fourth.
“Hey,” he said. His voice was soft. Uncertain. Like he wasn’t sure which version of me he was about to get.
And I almost hung up.
But instead, I breathed in, and let the truth unravel.
“I’m not calling to fight,” I started. “I’m not even angry, Oscar. I just… I need you to know that I know.”
There was a pause. He didn’t ask what I knew. He didn’t have to.
“I saw her,” I said. “Maddie. I saw all of it. And it’s not that I think you cheated—I don’t. But you gave her parts of you I didn’t even know you’d stopped giving me.”
Silence again. A weighted breath on his end. But he still said nothing.
“I tried. God, I tried. I recorded voice notes when you stopped calling. I sent messages that barely got answers. I watched you win, and I cheered for you even when it felt like I didn’t exist in your world anymore.”
My voice cracked then, just once.
“And I missed you. Every day, I missed you. But I can’t keep giving when you don’t even notice I’m gone.”
Still, he didn’t interrupt.
“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I just… I need space. I need to remember who I am when I’m not waiting on a message that never comes.”
A long beat.
And then, softly, he said, “I didn’t know it had gotten this bad.”
I closed my eyes. Let the silence ruled. He didn’t fight. Didn’t beg me to stay. And maybe that hurt the most.
Maybe he thought, like always, I’d come back when the air cleared. When the tension softened. When time stitched things back together like it always did.
But I didn’t.
That was the last time I called.
Oscar’s POV
I didn’t mean for it to happen like this.
Not the silence. Not the distance. Not the feeling of waking up and realizing the only person who ever made all this feel real had stopped waiting for me.
It wasn’t a decision. It wasn’t one moment. It was a thousand tiny ones.
I told myself I was tired. That the schedule was brutal. That time zones were messy and I’d call her when things calmed down. After media day. After the car felt better. After I figured out how to explain the exhaustion without sounding ungrateful.
And then Maddie showed up.
It wasn’t supposed to be anything. Just familiarity. She was around again—someone from home, someone who didn’t need explaining. Someone who already knew the version of me that existed before the pressure, before the travel, before the grid turned me into something slightly less human every weekend.
When I got back to Melbourne, everything moved too fast. Media, family, press runs, fans. I barely had time to sleep, let alone think. Maddie showed up one afternoon, casual as ever, laughing like the years hadn’t passed. She came with Hattie, actually. It was just supposed to be dinner.
And maybe I should’ve told Y/N that. Maybe that was the moment—where I should’ve sent a text, called, said something. But I didn’t.
Not because I didn’t care. Because I didn’t want to hold it up to the light and realize how far I’d already drifted.
It wasn’t romantic, at first. It wasn’t intentional. But the truth is, I let someone else fill in the silence she used to keep warm for me. I leaned on someone close because the person I loved was far. Because she felt like the part of my life I couldn’t carry in the suitcase anymore.
I didn’t realize how far I’d let things slip until Hattie texted me.
“Did you talk to her yet?”
“Y/N messaged me asking if you were okay. She didn’t know you were out with Maddie.”
But instead of fixing it, I froze.
I stopped calling—not because I didn’t want to hear her voice, but because I didn’t know what to say when I did. The guilt made me quiet. The fear kept me there. I kept telling myself I’d reach out after this weekend, after the chaos, after the race. But there was always another race.
And deep down, I thought she’d wait. That she’d still be there. That she’d understand like she always did. That I could fumble and fall short and she’d still be the one to reach back. So I let the days pass. I let her messages sit unopened. I told myself it was temporary. That once the chaos settled, I’d explain. I’d FaceTime her and she’d smile, tired and soft, and say, “You’re an idiot, but I missed you too.”
Then the phone rang. I picked up.
Her voice—tired but even, cracked but careful—told me everything I hadn’t been brave enough to admit. She didn’t yell. She didn’t accuse. She didn’t demand anything from me.
“I can’t keep giving when you don’t even notice I’m gone.”
That line hit me like a crash I didn’t see coming.
Because I hadn’t noticed.
Not until she said it.
Not until it was already too late.
And I didn’t fight. I didn’t stop her. Because what right did I have?
All I’d given her was silence. And now, that silence is all I have left of her.
The results were good. Better than good. Pole positions. Podiums. A win that lit up the paddock and had half the world calling it the best drive of my career.
On paper, I was thriving.
But something was off. And those closest to me—engineers, trainers, even Lando—they could feel it, even if they didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the way I started pushing the car harder than necessary, taking risks I didn’t usually take, burning through sectors like I had something to prove. Or lose.
“You’re pushing when you don’t need to,” they said.
They weren’t wrong.
Because when you’re distracted, when your chest is full of static and your head’s somewhere else entirely, pushing becomes easier than feeling.
I’d sit on the podium, smile for the cameras, hold the trophy like it meant something—but the smile never quite made it to my eyes. I knew it. I could feel it. I’d look out into the crowd and think, She should be here.
But she wasn’t. And I was the reason why.
At night, in hotel rooms that all blurred together, I’d find myself opening our old messages. Just to look at them. Like a museum of the person I used to be. Like maybe if I scrolled long enough, I’d find a version of us I hadn’t ruined yet.
I nearly texted her. So many times.
Typed things like “I miss you.” or “I’m sorry.”
But I never hit send. Because I didn’t know if I had the right anymore. Because I kept thinking—maybe she just needs time, she’ll call when she’s ready.
But she didn’t. She didn’t call. She didn’t text. She didn’t even watch the races anymore, at least not that I could tell.
And that’s when it hit me.
She wasn’t waiting for me to notice. She wasn’t hoping I’d chase her. She was already gone.
I thought she’d always be there. I really did. But now that she’s not, I realize just how much of my world she actually was.
The team won again last weekend.
I crossed the line first. Champagne, cheers, confetti.
Another podium. Another perfect result.
I didn’t stay for the photos.
I walked straight past the camera crews, peeled off my helmet like it was choking me, and locked myself in the back of the motorhome until everyone stopped knocking. I stared at my gloves on the table like they belonged to someone else.
Everything around me was winning. Except me.
People kept saying I was driving better than ever—but I wasn’t. I was driving harder. Recklessly.
My engineer’s voice cracked through the radio mid-race, “Oscar, calm down. You’re five seconds clear, you don’t need to push—”
But I did.
Because every time I eased off, the silence came back. Her voice, that last call, the way she didn’t yell, didn’t cry—she just told me the truth. That she’d given everything. And I didn’t even notice she was slipping away.
So I pushed.
And pushed.
And nearly lost it in Turn 8.
I caught the slide by instinct alone. For a second, the rear snapped so violently I saw the barriers rushing toward me like jaws opening. I didn’t even blink. I didn’t even flinch.
A part of me wanted to let go. Just for a second. Just to see what it would feel like to surrender to something.
Because grief isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s this low hum behind your ribs, so constant you forget what quiet really sounds like. I carry it in my chest now—in the way I walk back to the hotel, in the way I eat alone, in the fact that I don’t even check my phone after a win.
There are no messages from her anymore.
No “Proud of you, even from across the world.”
No voice notes.
Not even a question.
And now I’m stuck in this loop of podiums I can’t feel, nights I can’t sleep through, and a version of myself I don’t recognize anymore.
The truth is—I don’t want to die.
I just don’t know how to live without her.
Y/N’s POV
I’ve been focusing on myself lately.
It sounds simple, like a self-help cliché. But for me, it’s new. Foreign. Not because I didn’t have dreams before, but because I’d spent so long folding myself around someone else’s orbit, I forgot how much space I could take up on my own.
Now, I fill my days with things that are mine—brief-writing marathons in the library, mock trial rehearsals that stretch into midnight, group lunches that turn into debates about case law and coffee orders. I laugh more. I sleep less. I am busy in a way that finally feels like building, not waiting.
I miss him. Of course I do. Some mornings, it hits me like a breath I can’t quite catch—when I wake up and reach instinctively for a voice note that’s not there. When something funny happens and I think, he’d love this, and then remember there’s no one to send it to.
I still watch him race. Quietly. From afar.
Sometimes, in the middle of a study break, I’ll stream races with the volume low, just to see how he’s doing. He’s winning. The world is cheering for him, and he deserves it. But there’s something about the way he carries himself now that feels… off. Like the light’s there, but it doesn’t touch his eyes anymore.
Last race, he almost lost it. The car snapped. Just for a second. But my heart dropped like a stone. My hand was already halfway to my phone before I caught myself.
I didn’t call. I couldn’t.
Because I knew—if I dialed his number, I’d be right back where I started. I’d be the girl who waited, who compromised, who made herself smaller just to stay in someone else’s story.
And I’m not that girl anymore.
I loved him. I still do, in some shape or shadow of that love. But I won’t shrink for it again. I won’t forget everything it took for me to choose myself.
So I let the silence stay. I sat with the ache. And I knew, even as my heart tugged in a thousand directions, that I made the right choice.
It was the kind of rain Oxford is known for—more mist than downpour, the kind that settled into your skin like memory.
I’d left my umbrella somewhere, maybe in a lecture hall, maybe under a library chair. My shoulders ached from hours bent over legal drafts, and my eyes burned from sleep I hadn’t caught. All I wanted was the quiet of my room and the sound of nothing.
And then I heard it—my name.
Soft. Familiar. Almost shy.
I turned.
There he was. Oscar.
Soaked through the sleeves of his shirt, his hair curling damp at the ends, standing like he didn’t know whether to come closer or disappear. He looked the same, mostly. A little older around the eyes. A little more undone.
He didn’t speak at first. Just stepped toward me and held his umbrella out, tilting it gently over my head like it still made sense to protect me from the rain.
I didn’t move.
Didn’t lean in. Didn’t lean away.
We just stood there, in the thin hush of drizzle and unsaid things, and I waited to see what kind of man he’d become in the silence.
Then he said it, “I’m sorry.”
Not rushed. Not panicked. Just... honest. Unadorned.
“I thought I had more time. I thought you’d always be there. But I get it now. I lost something I didn’t know how to hold.”
I felt the weight of it land in my chest—not because it was perfect, but because it wasn’t. Because it was flawed and fragile and real.
And still, I didn’t say anything.
The rain was soft against my cheeks, or maybe it was something else. I couldn’t tell.
A part of me wanted to fall into him—let the moment wrap around us like it used to. Pretend the hurt hadn’t taken root, that missing him hadn’t changed me. That I wasn’t still holding all the pieces I had to gather when he left me behind.
But I’d grown around the ache. I’d learned to carry silence like a second skin. I’d built a life that didn’t have him in it—and somehow, that life still stood.
So I just looked at him.
Not with anger. Not with forgiveness.
Just with the quiet of someone still deciding.
Because maybe forgiveness doesn’t come in grand declarations or sweeping gestures.
Maybe it comes in moments like this—soft, unsure, standing in the rain where everything could be rewritten, or nothing at all.
He didn’t ask for anything more.
And I didn’t give it.
Not yet.
But I let him stay there beside me, holding up the umbrella.
And maybe, just maybe—that was enough for now.
She wasn’t supposed to fall for a Formula 1 driver--not when her life as a cardiothoracic surgery resident was already stretched thin between saving lives and curating her online world as a fashion/lifestyle influencer. But when a chance encounter with Lando Norris turns into something slow, magnetic, and impossible to define, Y/N finds herself caught between two lives she thought couldn’t coexist. As she faced spiraling headlines, pressure of performing at her best in both of her careers, and the distance that threatened to unravel what never had a label to begin with, she must ask herself: in a world that demands so much, can quiet love still survive the noise? (18k+ words)
Pairing: Lando Norris x doctor-influencer!reader
Genre: Fluff, slow burn, fans to lover (kind of), bit of angst
TW: Media pressure, public scrutiny, grief (death of a patient)
It seemed like the rain wouldn’t stop any time soon, when I hurriedly stepped outside my apartment lobby. I looked down to my feet, and saw that my canvas shoes were already splashed with brown puddles. Great, I thought to myself, what a great way to start an already late day. The streets were already busy with people, some running, probably catching the earliest MRT that could take them to their destination on time. Some were walking while casually sipping a cup of brown liquid with hot steam visible in the cold air. And there were people like me, who just arrived home late from a prolonged shift handoff and had their whole schedule of the day delayed.
It was my day off, and I had planned ahead of what I could do to make the most of one of the rarest days in a year. Juggling life as a cardiothoracic surgery resident and a fashion/lifestyle influencer sounded impossible even to my own ears. Yet here I was, just got back from a 48 hour shift at the hospital with heavy, dark eyebags, dull skin and chipped nails. I’d prefer to drown myself with pillows and blankets and sleep until tomorrow–especially after this long shift if it was not for the sake of making myself presentable for tonight’s dinner with a brand I’m collaborating with. I booked a 10 AM mani-pedicure appointment, a facial treatment at 12 (finally got to use my 500 USD worth of treatment subscription after abandoning it for more than 6 months), and also made an appointment with my sales associate at bottega. I have 15 minutes to get to the nail salon, which is a 25 minute walking distance. I’m so doomed.
By the time the clock hits 3 in the afternoon, I finished my facial treatment. My eyebags were still there yet barely noticeable. My face was glowing, and I was pretty satisfied with how instant the result was. I did have a good nap too so I wasn’t complaining. My feet then led me to bottega where I picked up a small purse that was finally in stock. It was an Andiamo clutch in this beautiful burgundy color that I’d been eyeing since forever. My favorite sales associate kindly texted me last night and I just had to grab it today.
The trip there was cut short when my phone rang. My high school best friend, Tiara, who's also my manager since my instagram and tiktok account took off and I personally couldn’t handle all the brands dealing alone said through the phone, “Hi! Where are you?”
I finalized the payment with my sales associate, and waited for him to pack my little baby when I answered, “I’m at Bottega, why?”
“No, just wanted to remind you about tonight’s dinner event,” she said. “Look, there will be a lot of people with connections attending tonight–”
“Okay, I just need to play nice and mingle. I got it handled, Tiara.”
I hated attending these kinds of events. My job as a doctor was already demanding a lot of socializing, and I was not happy that doing social media–which used to be my escape, turned out to be as draining. Not that I hated my job, in fact I loved it. I really loved my job as a doctor, the satisfaction when I got to see my patients that came into the ER in the state of near death were finally discharged and thanked me personally for saving their lives. I also loved my job doing social media, where my videos could help thousands of people finally be able to live their lives confidently. It’s truly rewarding. But I just hate the socializing.
“Okay.. if you say so. I’ll come with you tonight, so don’t worry too much.” Tiara said. “And you might need to go home now, the glam team are on their way with our clothes.”
“Okay, okay see ya.”
Tiara ended the call just right in time when my bag was packed. “Here you go, Ms.Y/L/N.”
“Thank you so much.”
“Hey, hun!” Tiara hugged me as soon as I entered the living room. “I’ve been waiting for the glam team to get here!.”
I dropped my shopping bag on the sofa, made a beeline for the kitchen to grab some water. “T, remind me again which brand’s dinner tonight? I totally blanked.”
“It’s Tumi, I told you last night!”
“Well, I’m sorry I didn’t read your text. I was on call, remember?”
“My bad.” Tiara replied sheepishly.
I was sipping a cup of cold water when she suddenly jumped from the sofa and ran to me with her phone. “Dude!”
I nearly choked at the sudden movement, “What?”
She tapped the screen. It was a video posted on Instagram—someone walking through our local airport. I didn’t recognize the person, but the location was unmistakable. “It’s Lando Norris’ PR manager’s account, she’s in town!”
“So?”
“It’s the Tumi dinner, Y/N. And Lando’s their brand ambassador. Connect the dots.”
I tried to play it cool. “Okay… but there’s no guarantee he’s actually here. Maybe his PR manager is just visiting a family or—”
I stared at her, trying to keep my expression neutral. On the inside? Chaos. An emotional arrhythmia.
“Actually.. whatever,” she said. "You don’t even like McLaren."
She pretended to dismiss it, but I knew from that teasing glimmer in her eyes, she was testing me for a reaction.
“I don’t,” I said too quickly. “I’m a Mercedes girl through and through.”
Tiara raised a brow. “Mmhmm. So all that scrolling through Lando’s tagged photos last week was what? Research?”
I glared at her over the rim of my water bottle. “I was just scrolling.”
My heart skipped a beat. Lando Norris. In my city. Possibly at the same event I was going to tonight? No. Way.
I got into Formula 1 totally by accident. Second year of med school, drowning in anatomy flashcards, and just needed some background noise to help me went through a 12 hours study session. Turns out, 20 cars flying around a circuit at 300 km/h is terrible for concentration, but amazing for falling headfirst into a new obsession. I was a Mercedes girl from day one, how could I not be? The dominance, the strategy, Lewis Hamilton basically operating like a brain surgeon at 200 mph (still upset Lewis is not in mercedes anymore). It all felt like the F1 version of a perfectly run OR.
But then there was Lando. Ugh, Lando Norris. With that stupid charming smile, the chaotic overtakes, and somehow always looking like he was having the time of his life even when everything was falling apart. I told everyone he wasn’t my favorite—because technically, he wasn’t. But the way my phone just magically ended up on his Instagram? The way my chest did this tiny, traitorous flutter every time he popped up on screen? Yeah. I might be a Mercedes girl… but Lando Norris was my favorite guilty pleasure. Not that I’d ever admit that out loud.
The doorbell rang just as I took my last sip of water.
“They’re here!” Tiara called, already sprinting toward the door like she’d been waiting all day for this. To be fair, she probably had.
The glam team—two makeup artists, a hairstylist, and a stylist with a rack of options —walked in like a well-oiled machine. I stepped aside, already familiar with their routine as I’d worked with some of them for campaigns before. Still, there was something surreal about shifting gears from hospital scrubs to high fashion in a single afternoon.
“Y/N, you’re up first,” Layla, my go-to MUA, called. “We’ve got exactly ninety minutes before you need to be out the door.”
I took one last look at my phone—no new messages, no calls from the hospital—then headed to the vanity they had set up in our spare room. Ring lights were already glowing, mirrors prepped, and my tailored ivory suit was hanging on the back of the door like a promise.
Layla started with skin prep. “So… are we going full ‘Vogue spread’ or soft glam tonight?”
I grinned. “Let’s do a little of both. I need to look like I didn’t just survive two back-to-back 12-hour shifts.”
“You mean you did survive two back-to-back shifts,” she corrected. “And still look like this? Girl, you’re not human.”
As she worked, I opened my notes app, checking off content tasks for the night. BTS video with glam team, a flatlay with Tumi bag, perfume, invite, and some dinner clips.
“Close your eyes,” Layla said, holding my face like she was sculpting a masterpiece. “And stop fidgeting, you’re gonna ruin my liner.”
“I’m not fidgeting,” I muttered, then immediately bounced my knee again.
Tiara, lounging nearby in a silk robe, snorted. “You’ve been twitchy ever since I showed you that video. Just admit it—you’re hoping Lando shows up tonight.”
“I am not,” I said, very convincingly for someone clutching their phone like it might spontaneously generate a guest list.
“Uh-huh.” Tiara replied, very, very unconvinced.
Layla stepped back to admire her work. “So who’s this Lando guy? Boyfriend?”
I choked on absolutely nothing. “God, no. He’s just… a F1 driver. For McLaren.”
“The guy with the curls?” she asked, already picking up a highlighter. “You’re blushing.”
“No I’m not!”
“You are,” Tiara grinned. “And he’s not even here yet.”
I flopped back in the chair with a dramatic sigh. “Okay, look. I’m a Mercedes fan.”
“But,” Tiara added, holding back a smirk, “every time Lando Norris so much as breathes near a camera, you suddenly forget all that.”
“Because he’s annoyingly charming, okay?” I grumbled. “Like, smile-too-big-for-his-face, funny, chaos. He’s not even my type, and yet…”
“And yet you practically rewinded that one post-race interview five times last weekend.”
“It was four times,” I corrected, deadpan. “And for research.”
Layla was laughing now. “I love this.”
I groaned and reached for my water. “If he is at this dinner, I’m acting normal. Cool. Unbothered.”
Tiara raised a brow. “So you’re saying I shouldn’t mention that you once did a soft-glam look inspired by his helmet colors?”
“That’s not what that was and you know it,” I muttered, cheeks warming again.
An hour later, my face was done, hair in soft brushed waves, lashes fluttering like they had their own agenda. I slipped into my suit, a tailored ivory double-breasted blazer, cinched subtly at the waist paired with high-waisted straight-leg trousers, and clasped my minimalist gold jewelry in front of the mirror. A camera was already rolling on my phone stand, where I filmed a quick GRWM.
Tiara peeked in, already in a burgundy satin number that matched her lipstick. “Girl. You look like a sponsor’s dream.”
“You mean like I didn’t fall asleep updating patient charts at 3 a.m.?” I teased.
“Exactly. No one needs to know you scrubbed in for an aortic dissection case just 20 hours ago. Tonight, you’re a fashion girl. An it-girl.”
I grabbed my bag—Tumi, of course—and exhaled slowly.
Tonight wasn’t about fan moments or nerves. It was a brand dinner. A networking opportunity. A chance to show I could walk the line between saving lives and owning the room. But still… I mentally added one last note to my checklist. Do not fangirl over Lando Norris. (Not even if he smiles first).
The venue was pure understated luxury—low lighting, tall glass walls, a carefully curated crowd of editors, influencers, stylists, and just enough corporate energy to remind you this was a brand event. Soft ambient music played beneath the buzz of champagne flutes and soft laughter, and the Tumi logo gleamed on every backdrop and branded cocktail napkin.
Tiara and I stepped out of the car like we belonged there—because we did. Dressed to impress, camera-ready, brand-aligned. We'd done this a hundred times before, but tonight had a different edge to it. A buzz beneath my skin that had nothing to do with the event.
Inside, I slid into autopilot. I greeted a senior fashion editor I’d worked with on a shoot last fall, exchanged hugs with a couple of other creators I only ever saw at events like this, and smiled graciously as I answered the same questions I always got: “How do you manage being a doctor and an influencer?” and “Do you even sleep?”
“Not really,” I said with a laugh that was half-true. “But I schedule naps like I schedule rounds.”
The brand rep gave a toast, thanking us all for coming, and Tiara raised her glass in my direction with a wink. “You’re killing it tonight,” she whispered. “You’ve barely looked around for him.”
“Because I’m focused,” I said, sipping my drink. “And I’m sure he’s not even here.”
Which, of course, was when the energy in the room shifted.
You know that moment at events when someone important walks in? The air changes. Heads turn subtly but unmistakably. I followed a few glances out of pure curiosity, and there he was—Lando Norris, walking in like he didn’t just cause a ripple through the entire guest list.
He wasn’t doing anything remarkable. Just smiling politely, standing next to someone from the brand team, wearing a crisp black suit and his usual easy charm like it wasn’t completely illegal. I looked away immediately. I had to. If I kept looking, I’d get caught. And if I got caught, I’d blush. And if I blushed, Tiara would never let me live it down.
Instead, I buried myself in networking. More smiles, more polite conversations. I posed for a few photos in front of the Tumi wall, dropped my IG handle in a PR manager’s phone, and made a mental note to post a story later. But even as the night carried on and the music got louder, I couldn’t shake that feeling. That he was here. In the same room. Breathing the same air. Probably not even knowing I existed.
After a while, the room started to feel a little too warm, the mingling a little too rehearsed. My heels were still fine—thankfully—but my social battery? Not so much.
“I’m stepping out for air,” I murmured to Tiara, who gave me a thumbs-up without missing a beat in her conversation.
I found a side door that led to a quieter courtyard terrace, where the sounds of the party dulled into the background. The night air was cool against my skin, and I inhaled deeply, letting my shoulders drop. Out here, I could finally breathe.
I leaned against the railing, phone in hand, debating whether to scroll or just enjoy the moment. Then I heard footsteps behind me. I didn’t turn around at first—plenty of people needed a break from the party. It wasn’t unusual.
But then a voice spoke, low and British, too familiar and real, I nearly dropped my phone.
“Didn’t expect anyone else out here,” he said. Casual. Kind of amused. “Bit loud in there, huh?”
I turned slowly, carefully schooling my expression.
There he was. In the dim courtyard light. Just him and me.
Lando Norris.
“Oh—yeah,” I said, praying my voice didn’t crack. “Needed to escape the networking gauntlet.”
He smiled. “You too, huh? I’ve shaken so many hands I’m pretty sure I’ve lost circulation.”
I laughed—because what else was I supposed to do? “Occupational hazard.”
He stepped closer, just enough to close the awkward distance but not enough to make it weird. “I’m Lando, by the way,” he said, extending a hand.
“I know,” I replied before I could stop myself.
His smile widened just a little, amused. “Right. Guess I walked into that one.”
I shook his hand, keeping my face neutral. “Y/N.”
His brow lifted a little, like he was trying to place me. “Nice to meet you. Are you with the brand?”
“Sort of. I’m a part time fashion and lifestyle content creator,” I said, pausing just long enough before adding, “And also a part time cardiothoracic surgery resident.”
His eyes widened slightly. “Seriously? That’s intense.”
“Tell me about it,” I smirked. “Between 12-hour shifts and flatlays, I barely have time to breathe.”
He laughed, and it was genuine. Warm.
“I don’t think I’ve met a doctor-influencer before.”
“I’m a niche market.”
We stood in a moment of comfortable quiet, and I felt the strangest thing—calm. Maybe because there was no audience out here. No flashes, no glances. Just two people who had unknowingly been orbiting each other from entirely different worlds.
“You know,” he said, breaking the silence, “it’s kind of refreshing meeting someone who didn’t immediately want a selfie.”
I smiled, folding my arms. “I mean, the night’s still young.”
He laughed again, eyes glinting. “Fair enough.”
The quiet hum of the city wrapped around us as the noise from inside faded further into the background. Lando leaned lightly against the stone railing, arms relaxed, suit jacket open like he wasn’t just the reason half the event was losing their minds.
“You’re really a cardiology resident?” he asked after a pause, like he still couldn’t believe it.
“Cardiothoracic surgery, we uh, basically do surgery on people’s hearts.” I corrected him. “It’s my third year. It’s intense, but I love it.”
“That’s mad,” he said, eyes wide with genuine awe. “I can’t imagine having people’s actual hearts in your hands. Literally.”
“Well, not literally every day,” I said with a laugh.
“And you do content on top of that?”
“I never really planned to,” I admitted. “It started with me posting outfit pics during call nights to stay sane. Somehow, it blew up.”
He leaned back against the railing beside me, just close enough that I could feel his presence without it overwhelming the moment. “Must be intense.”
“It is,” I said softly. “But I like it that way.”
There was something curious in his expression. Not flirty. Not flashy. Just… intrigued. We stood in silence again, the kind that doesn’t need explaining. The kind that feels a little too comfortable for strangers.
“You into F1?” he asked after a while, almost cautiously.
I gave him a slow, measured look. “Oh, I follow.”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s just say I know the difference between understeer and tire deg.”
His brows lifted, impressed. “Well, alright, doctor.”
“I’ve been watching for a few years,” I added.
“Let me guess,” he said, eyes narrowing in playful suspicion. “Ferrari fan?”
“I’m a Mercedes fan.”
That made him laugh again, louder this time. “Ouch.”
Another beat of quiet passed, and this one lingered. I could feel it settling in the space between us—the unspoken curiosity. He didn’t know who I was—not the girl who posted race-day looks, not the one who debated tire strategy in the close friend’s story, not the one who pretended not to notice him every time he appeared on her screen. And yet, standing here with him, I felt seen in a way that had nothing to do with recognition.
“It's weird,” I said quietly, “how the sport changes on you.”
Lando looked over, his profile soft in the terrace light. “What do you mean?”
I ran a finger along the edge of my glass, tracing nothing. “I started rooting for Mercedes because of Lewis Hamilton. Not because they were winning—well, maybe at first. But more because of him. The way he carried himself. Composed. Relentless. Loud in the ways that mattered and quiet in the ways that didn’t. He made the whole thing feel like art.”
Lando didn’t speak. He listened, eyes steady.
“I think I needed someone like that back then,” I continued. “During med school, when everything felt like it was falling apart, there was this guy out there, making every race look like poetry and still showing up for more than just himself. He was… I don’t know. Constant.”
“You said was,” Lando said softly.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
A silence stretched again, thicker this time.
“When he announced he was leaving for Ferrari…” I paused, exhaling slowly. “I felt like the ground shifted.”
Lando’s expression didn’t change, but there was something thoughtful in it. “Everyone’s still adjusting.”
“Sure. But for me, it wasn’t just a driver changing teams. It was like the foundation cracked.” I looked up at him. “You spend so long tying yourself to one thing—one team, one identity—and then suddenly it changes. And you’re just… left figuring out who you are without it.”
He was quiet for a moment. “That’s heavy.”
I gave a small, sheepish smile. “Sorry. That was a little too existential for a brand dinner.”
“No,” he said quickly, gently. “I get it.”
“Do you?” I asked, unsure if I was pushing.
He shrugged, gaze slipping back out toward the skyline. “You think being a driver means you get to choose who you are in all this. But sometimes… you’re just trying to keep up with who everyone thinks you should be. Sometimes you don't even know who you're racing for anymore. Yourself? The team? The headlines?”
That surprised me—how quietly he said it. How real it sounded.
“I guess we’re all just trying to hang on to what makes us feel like ourselves,” I said.
He looked at me again. “And what’s that for you?”
I hesitated. The question was too sharp and too soft at once.
“Honestly?” I said finally. “Right now… maybe standing out here, talking to someone who sees the chaos from the other side.”
His lips curved into a faint smile. “You don’t seem like someone who likes chaos.”
“I don’t,” I said.
He looked at me—not like someone just trying to place me, but like someone trying to understand the shape of me.
“You ever think of switching teams?” he asked, his voice lighter now, teasing.
I laughed softly. “Lando Norris trying to recruit me to McLaren?”
He smirked. “No harm in asking.”
“Let’s just say… I’m open to change.”
And this time, the silence that followed didn’t need to be filled at all.
I took another sip of my drink, letting the quiet wrap around us again. Lando glanced at his phone—not in a rude way, more like he’d just remembered where he was, who he was supposed to be. The smile that had rested so easily on his lips began to slip back into something more practiced.
“I should probably head back in,” he said, quietly.
I nodded. “Of course. You’ve got a room full of people to... charm.”
He smiled at that, but it didn’t reach his eyes the same way it had before. He took a slow step back, then paused. Like he wanted to say something else but wasn’t sure if he should.
Instead, he simply said, “It was really good meeting you, Y/N.”
My name sounded different coming from him. Softer. Like he’d memorized the shape of it just in case.
“You too,” I said, more gently than I meant to. “Thanks for the… quiet.”
He hesitated, just for a breath, then gave me one final look. A glance that felt like a question left unanswered. And then he turned and walked back into the golden light of the terrace doors, swallowed by the noise, the cameras, the curated chaos. I stayed out there a little longer, letting the night press gently against my skin, the city stretching quiet around me. There was no music now. Just memory.
No glowing terrace lights, no shared silence, no subtle look across the railing like we’d both seen something in each other we weren’t ready to name. Just the sterile buzz of fluorescent lights. A surgical mask pressed to my face. And the weight of clipped, focused voices calling out vital stats over the beep of monitors. If last night hadn’t been etched into my mind like a strange, golden dream, I’d almost believe it didn’t happen.
The thing about being a CT resident is, it doesn’t care about who you talked to the night before. It doesn’t wait for you to process anything. You scrub in, focus up, and hold a human heart in your hands like it’s the only thing that matters. Because it is.
Rounds were brutal that morning. Two back-to-back valve replacements, one trauma case that rolled in unexpectedly at 4 a.m., and an attending who seemed personally offended by anyone who’d gotten more than three hours of sleep. I moved on autopilot. Efficient. Precise. Calm.
But every now and then, during a lull—when I checked a vitals screen or scrubbing my hands for the next case—my mind drifted.
"It was really good meeting you, Y/N."
"You too. Thanks for the… quiet."
I hadn’t followed him. Not after that night. Not even when I’d seen tagged photos pop up from the event, his name trending again that weekend. It felt too fragile to touch. Like acknowledging it publicly would make the memory evaporate.
Exactly two months later, I was in Rome.
I’d flown in for an international cardiothoracic seminar I never imagined I’d get selected for, let alone present at. It had taken weeks of prepping slides, coordinating surgical footage, polishing up every word of my case report until it sang.
And somehow, it worked. My name was called. My report was named the best presentation of the entire conference. Applause rang out in that massive, echoing hall. My mentor squeezed my shoulder. My hands, usually so steady in an OR, trembled slightly as I accepted the plaque.
Later, in the hotel room, I propped my phone against a lamp and snapped a photo—the plaque tucked in my lap, still in my formal outfit, dark circles under my eyes, but glowing. Proud. Real. I posted it to Instagram along with a snippet of video my fellow resident took of me while i was presenting my case report on stage with a caption that didn’t overthink it.
Today was loud in all the right ways. Grateful to be doing what I love, even when I forget to sleep.🫀🇮🇹✨ #CTSurgery #WomenInMedicine
I closed the app without refreshing it and drifted to my sleep.
The next morning, I opened my phone while waiting for my espresso in the hotel café. Notifications stacked higher than usual. Comments. Story mentions. DMs. My med-following engaged, a few comments from fellow residents, some reposts. A couple of med pages reshared it. Some surgical meme accounts reposted it with the caption “CT Barbie strikes again.”
And then I saw it, that faint heart icon from someone I hadn’t seen on my feed, maybe intentionally avoided, in weeks.
@lando liked your post.
I stared at it for a second longer than necessary.
Then I swiped up. He’d followed me. Not just liked the photo. Followed.
I froze, thumb hovering over the screen. The room suddenly felt too small. I stared at the screen like it had betrayed me. His profile picture, the blue checkmark. That name. There was no message. No comment. Just a like. A quiet digital fingerprint on a life he wasn’t supposed to remember.
And yet… He did.
Or maybe he’d just stumbled across the post by accident. Explore pages were unpredictable. But deep down, I knew better. Something about the timing, the quiet of it, the way it felt—not loud or performative. Just a quiet nod, like he’d looked and thought, there she is.
My heart thudded once, low and solid. And I did the only thing that made sense. I followed him back.
I'd just arrived from Rome last night and the reality of residency had kicked in. The show must go on. The early follow-ups, lab-ordering, rounds with the attendings, and back-to-back heart surgeries. This morning started the way most mornings did—too early, too cold, and with Tiara poking her head into my bedroom like an overly caffeinated storm cloud.
"Did you see it?” she asked.
I groaned, face still buried in my pillow. “If this is about my missed laundry pickup, I already hate myself.”
“No,” she said, sliding onto the edge of my bed, phone in hand. “Lando.”
That woke me up. I lifted my head just enough to see the screen. A clip from a race weekend interview—one of those soft, casual paddock setups, with the usual “rapid fire” questions that drivers either deflect or accidentally get too real with.
The interviewer asked, “Anyone outside of F1 who’s impressed you lately?”
And there he was. Looking thoughtful. A little tired, like they’d caught him between commitments. Lando smiled, soft, crooked, barely there.
“Met someone recently,” he said. “Not from this world. Completely different, actually. But smart. Focused. You can tell when someone’s used to pressure. She… surprised me.”
Tiara turned to me slowly, mouth already open. “Smart, someone used to pressure. Y/N, he’s clearly talking about you.”
I blinked, sitting up. “You don’t know that.”
“Girl, you are the only CT resident he’s had a moonlight chat with on a brand dinner terrace. Just admit it. You are his mysterious ‘not from this world’ girl.”
I didn’t respond. Mostly because part of me wanted it to be true. And the other part was terrified it was.
Hours later, I was back in my actual world—under too bright hospital lights, halfway through rounds, no makeup, hair in a half-frizzed ponytail, scrubs wrinkled from walking around the hospital for too many consults this early morning.
I’d just finished morning notes and slipped outside to grab a coffee from the tiny café around the corner. It wasn’t fancy—just a very good espresso, low noise, and no crowd seen. I had one AirPod in, my tote slung over one shoulder, phone open to patient labs, brain already a dozen miles ahead, partly still thinking about the interview Tiara showed me this morning.
The barista was halfway through ringing me up when I heard it, “Didn’t think you were real until I saw the badge.”
I turned.
There he was. Hoodie. Joggers. Hat pulled low. No PR team. No cameras. Yet, I recognized that smile anywhere.
Lando.
My heart felt like it dropped to the floor. “Shouldn’t you be in Monaco or Milan or… not standing behind me in a hospital café?” I asked, voice low.
He smiled, that same half-smile he wore in the interview clip. “Flight delayed. So I had time to kill and someone on the team recommended this brand. Googled it, and found the nearest one from my hotel. Saw the reviews, said the coffee saves lives.”
“It saves mine,” I said, trying to keep it light.
Then his eyes flicked down to my ID badge. My name. The hospital crest. My scrub top–creased, definitely unglamorous, still faintly coffee-stained from pre-rounds.
“You look different,” he said.
I winced. “Bad different?”
“No.” He shook his head, like the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. “Just… real. Like this is your grid.”
I laughed, cheeks warm. “You mean exhausted and slightly overwhelmed?”
“Yeah,” he said, grinning. “But also confident. Focused.”
My coffee came up. I reached for it, trying not to let my hand shake.
“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” I admitted, voice lower now.
“Same,” he said. We stood there for a moment in that weird, suspended quiet—the kind of quiet that happens when something’s shifting and neither of you wants to be the first to name it.
Finally, he reached for his coffee, then nodded toward the door. “You have time to sit?”
I glanced at the clock. Twenty-five minutes until my next consult. Not long. Not nearly enough. But I nodded. “Yeah. A few.”
He smiled, “Then let’s sit in your world for a bit.”
We slipped into a corner table near the window, tiny, wobbly, barely enough space for two coffees and the weight of whatever this was between us. I set my drink down, unwrapped the corner of a protein bar, and leaned back in my chair, trying to play it cool despite the fact that I was sitting across from Lando Norris in scrubs and no lipstick.
He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he kept looking at me like this was the version of me he’d been trying to find since that night on the terrace.
“Do you always start your mornings like this?” he asked, glancing around the small café.
“More or less. Surgery, caffeine, maybe a protein bar if I remember I’m a human with needs.”
He smirked. “And yet somehow you still look like you belong in a magazine.”
I gave him a look. “This?” I motioned to myself. “This is the opposite of Vogue.”
He shook his head, smiling behind his cup. “Still. There’s something about the way you carry all of it. Like… you know exactly where you’re going. Even when you’re sleep-deprived.”
I took a sip of my coffee, avoiding his eyes, those green eyes, for a beat. It was flattering. But also disarming.
“So,” I said finally, setting my cup down. “That interview.”
He didn’t flinch, but I could tell by the way his thumb tapped the side of his drink that he knew exactly what I meant.
“Tiara, my best friend and manager, woke me up at 5 am showing me the clip ,” I added. “She was convinced you were talking about me.”
He met my eyes then. “Was she wrong?”
I held his gaze, let the silence stretch.
“I don’t know,” I said quietly. “I think if it wasn’t me, you’re either dating a pilot or having deep talks with your Uber drivers.”
Lando laughed. That warm, unguarded kind of laugh that made his eyes squint. “Fair.”
There was a beat. Then he said, more seriously, “It was you.”
I watched him for a moment—this person who lived in a world of constant spotlight and chaos, now sitting across from me in a quiet café like we did this all the time.
“You didn’t have to say that,” I said.
“I know.”
“So why did you?”
He leaned back slightly, shoulders relaxed, tone softer. “Because when we talked that night, it stuck with me. You weren’t trying to impress anyone. You weren’t performing. You just… were.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And that impressed you?”
He nodded. “Yeah. A lot more than people pretending to have it all figured out.”
There was something deeply sincere about the way he said it. Like it wasn’t part of a game. Like he didn’t want anything from me except the truth.
“So,” he added after a moment, “what did you think? About what I said.”
I considered that for a long second.
“I think… I’ve spent so much of my life trying to prove I belong in this field. In the OR, on the rotation list, on conference stages. And somewhere along the way, I forgot that it’s okay to let people see me outside of that, in all the mess and exhaustion and…” I gestured to my coffee, my tired eyes, my stained scrubs. “This.”
He smiled again, more tender this time. “I don’t think it’s mess. I think it’s real. That’s rare.”
“Especially in your world,” I said.
He nodded. “That’s why yours stood out.”
I looked down at the sleeve of my coffee cup. The moment felt full — not rushed, not loud, but weighted. And honest.
He glanced out the window, then back at me. “And you?”
“What about me?”
“Did I make it into any interviews?”
I gave a soft laugh. “Not yet. I’ve been a little busy doing heart surgery and accidentally going viral.”
His grin returned. “Right. The case report win.”
I paused. “Oh, you saw that?”
“Of course,” he said, sipping his coffee like it was obvious. “It popped up on my explore page, and then suddenly your name was everywhere. Reposts, medical blogs, even a ‘Hot Doctors of Instagram’ list, which—by the way—terrible photo crop.”
I flushed. “You did a deep dive?”
He grinned. “A shallow scroll. But yeah, I saw it. That was impressive.”
I softened. “Thanks. That case meant a lot to me. The kid we operated on was thirteen. Rare congenital defect. She’s doing well.”
Lando didn’t joke or deflect. Just gave a small nod, like he was processing more than he let on. “That’s a lot to hold.”
“It is,” I said quietly, almost to myself. “But it’s the weight I signed up for.”
He leaned back slightly, swirling the coffee in his cup. “Kind of wild, isn't it?”
“What is?”
“That people trust you with all that,” he said, glancing at me over the rim of his cup, casual on the surface but something else flickering underneath. “Like...you just show up and do it.”
I tilted my head. “I could say the same about you.”
“Eh,” he smirked. “I get help from a fast car and a very good team.”
“And I get help from caffeine and very good fellow residents and very experienced attendings.”
He laughed—low, easy. “You know, I wasn’t sure what I’d find when I saw you again. But scrubs? Kind of iconic.”
“Iconic?” I raised a brow.
“Yeah,” he said, half-shrugging. “Honestly? You might pull them off better than I do my race suit.”
I gave him a look. “That’s a bold statement.”
He leaned in just slightly, grinning. “Terrifying for my ego, really.”
I laughed, shaking my head. The kind of laugh that slipped out before I could catch it. Then, quieter, I added, “I didn’t think I’d see you again, either.”
He didn’t answer right away. Just met my eyes, something unreadable there. Then he said, lightly, “Yeah. Thought you’d disappear back into the OR and never look back.”
“Almost did.”
His smile was crooked now. “Guess I got lucky.”
The silence between us stretched, calm and unhurried. It felt like we were both aware of something hanging just out of reach—but neither of us wanted to pull it down too fast.
Then the sharp buzz of my pager inside my tote bag cut through it. I glanced down. “Consult in fifteen.”
He stood with me, brushing his hand through his hair. “Back to real life, huh?”
I nodded, slipping my phone into my coat pocket. “Always.”
As I reached for the door, he followed a few steps behind, then spoke, easy, offhand, like he wasn’t sure if he meant it as an invitation or just a thought said aloud.
“If you ever feel like stepping out of this world for a bit…” A pause. “I know one with slightly worse coffee. And way more noise.”
I turned, a smile already forming. “That your way of offering a paddock pass?”
He shrugged, all mock innocence. “Could be. Could also just be coffee. Somewhere quieter. No pagers allowed.”
I looked at him for a moment, really looked. The way he wore calm like armor. The way his grin never quite gave away everything he was thinking.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
“Fair enough.”
I stepped out into the hallway, coffee in one hand and my pager buzzing in the other, still half-processing what had just happened. I hadn’t expected to see Lando again—especially not here, in the middle of my chaotic, unfiltered reality. But there he was, showing up in a space that wasn’t curated or polished, and somehow that made it mean more. I felt an unexpected sense of relief. He’d seen me exactly as I was—tired, wrinkled scrubs, zero glamour—and he hadn’t flinched. No cameras, no performance, just a quiet kind of presence that lingered even after he was gone. And in that moment, it felt more intimate than anything that came with spotlights.
The DMs started sporadically. A reaction here. A comment there. A joke about terrible coffee or the chaos of hospital vending machines. Nothing serious. Nothing obvious.
But it became a rhythm.
When I posted a photo of the CT team post-surgery, hair tied back, mask line still faint on my cheeks, Lando replied to my DM.
@lando : can’t tell if this is a flex or a cry for help.
@you: it’s both. we survived three surgeries and one cafeteria meatloaf.
@lando: that’s championship-level endurance.
When Lando posted a mid-week race prep selfie, helmet tucked under his arm, eyes serious, I replied:
@you: that face says “I’m pretending to listen to strategy notes.”
@lando: you’d be correct.
@you: you need flashcards.
@lando: you offering to tutor?
The pace was easy. Undemanding. And somehow, it became routine.
I’d find myself checking my phone after long cases, smiling at his messages without thinking. He’d send voice notes at odd hours. One while waiting on a delayed flight, another from the driver’s room after a rainy quali. Sometimes I responded with text, sometimes a photo of me half-asleep with a post-it on my forehead that said "Charting. Mentally gone."
Still, neither of us named whatever this was.
Until one night, two months after our coffee. I posted a selfie on my Story—legs kicked up on couch, pizza in hand, hair loose for once, and the caption “First day of annual leave: achieved.”
Less than a minute later, his name popped up.
@lando: Wait, you’re finally off? Like, not going to crack open a sternum tomorrow?
@you: Wild, I know. Two weeks. Already forgetting how to hold a scalpel.
@lando: So you’re saying there’s a window where you’re not tied to a hospital?
@you: Technically yes. Why? Need heart surgery?
@lando: Not today. But... there’s a race next weekend. Silverstone. Home turf.
@you: I know. I watch F1 even when I'm in my on-call room.
@lando: Then maybe…
@lando: Come watch it from this side of the fence?
I blinked at the screen. Read it twice. Then once more.
@you: You inviting me?
@lando: I mean… yeah.
@lando: I’d like you there.
@lando: No fireproof or scrubs required.
I hesitated—not because i didn’t want to go, but because it suddenly felt real. The kind of invitation that wasn’t just playful DMs or stolen café moments. The kind that made me wonder what this was becoming.
@you: I’ll think about it.
@lando: I figured you’d say that.
@lando: So I already told my team you might say yes.
I rolled my eyes.
@you: Arrogant.
@lando: Confident.
And just beneath that message, a second one popped up:
@lando: Would be good to see you again, Y/N.
@lando: Off the grid, but maybe not so off-limits this time.
The inside of the McLaren hospitality suite felt like walking into a universe that ran on its own frequency. Sleek, fast-moving, humming with quiet intensity. Engineers moved between rooms, screens blinked with data I didn’t pretend to understand, and everyone wore the same focused expression she recognized from pre-op mornings.
“This is insane,” I whispered, watching someone walk by with three radios clipped to their belt and an iPad tucked under one arm.
Lando glanced at me. “You’re literally training to become a heart surgeon and this is what impresses you?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “My OR doesn’t have telemetry data and tire warmers. You’ve basically built a spaceship garage.”
He grinned, slowing his pace so I could take it in. “Want the grand tour?”
“You mean the one that ends with me somehow accidentally breaking a wing mirror and owing McLaren several million?”
“I’ll keep you away from the carbon fiber,” he promised.
They weaved through corridors, and he showed me where the team debriefs happened, the simulator space, the briefing room I wasn’t technically allowed in—but he still opened the door with a wink.
At some point, a few mechanics passed by and nodded at me with curious smiles. Just as I was admiring a display of past liveries, a familiar voice sounded from behind them. “So you’re the doctor.”
I turned, pulse quick. Oscar Piastri strolled over, wearing his race suit half unzipped and a look that was either neutral or mildly amused, I couldn’t quite tell.
“This is Y/N,” Lando said. “A surgeon. Came to make sure I don’t pass out mid-turn eight.”
I gave Oscar a half-nod, trying to summon cool professionalism but ending up somewhere between a smile and a please don’t notice I’m internally combusting expression. “Cardiothoracic resident,” I clarified. “Not a full surgeon yet.”
“Oh, I know who you are.”
I blinked. “You… do?”
He shrugged, totally unfazed. “Instagram algorithm loves you. My girlfriend showed me a video of your fit checks in the hospital, she said you have energy of a vampire, being a surgeon yet still doing contents. And Lando mentioned you a while back — said you beat five guys in tuxedos at a case report seminar.”
Lando groaned. “Okay, I told that story once.”
“You told it twice,” Oscar replied. Then, to me: “Nice to finally meet the doctor who apparently has better lap time under pressure than Lando on mediums.”
I laughed, maybe a little too hard. “I don’t know about that. I just talk fast when I’m nervous.”
Oscar gave a small, approving nod, then glanced at Lando. “Good luck today.”
And then he was gone.
I turned to Lando. “You told people about me?”
He gave me a lopsided grin. “I might’ve mentioned you in passing.”
“In passing?”
“Very quick passing. Like, turn-two kind of quick.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Uh-huh.”
I was still recovering from that moment when we stepped outside toward the other motorhomes, just as a familiar figure passed by—flanked by cameras and handlers, sleek in a red polo and sunglasses.
Lewis.
Lewis Hamilton.
I barely had time to register the Ferrari logo on his chest before he caught my eye with the briefest flicker of recognition—probably because I was staring like he was the second coming.
“Lewis!” Lando called out to him from the entrance of the hospitality while I’m internally trying hard not to freak out. Lewis walked our way, and Lando gave him a quick nod. “Lewis. This is Y/N, she's a big fan.”
Lewis smiled and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
I shook it, praying my palm wasn’t sweating like a med student on their first day in the OR.
“You’re the surgeon, right?” Lewis asked, casual as anything.
I blinked. “I—uh, yeah. How do you…?”
“Your seminar clip popped up on my feed,” he said. “That case with the congenital defect? Nicely handled. Takes a lot of clarity under pressure.”
I think I blacked out for a second. I didn’t expect that instagram post of mine was this.. viral.
“Thanks,” I managed, heart thudding. “That… means a lot. You were the reason I started watching Formula 1, actually.”
Lewis smiled—wide and warm and humble. “That’s good to hear. Maybe next time we'll chat more. So nice to meet you. Sorry—gotta run. Team debrief.” He gestured vaguely toward the scarlet motorhome behind him.
“No worries,” I said, heart thudding in my chest like an over-caffeinated metronome. “Big fan. Of everything.”
He gave a small laugh, already turning away. “Stay out of the heat.”
And then he was gone.
Once Lewis walked off and the initial shock wore off just enough for me to start breathing like a normal human being, I turned to Lando, completely dazed.
“I just shook hands with Lewis Hamilton,” I whispered.
“You did,” he said, smug.
“And he complimented my case report,” I added.
“He did.”
"He looked pretty good in red,"
Lando sneered at me, "I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
“I’m going to sit down before I faint.”
He laughed softly and nudged his head toward a quieter spot behind the hospitality suite—a small bench overlooking the back part of the paddock, away from the main media flow. “Come on. Take a pit stop.”
We sat in a kind of bubble—close enough to hear the background hum of crew radios and tire warmers, but just far enough that no one was really paying attention to us. For a minute, neither of us said anything.
I sipped a cup of coffee someone had pressed into my hand without me noticing. My palms were still a little clammy. “I still can’t believe you invited me,” I said finally, voice low.
He glanced over, one arm slung across the back of the bench. “Why not?”
I shrugged, eyes still fixed ahead. “You didn’t have to.”
“Exactly why I did.”
I turned to look at him, surprised by the honesty in his tone.
“You looked like you needed air that night,” he added, more lightly. “And now here you are, inhaling brake dust and I've warned you, our coffee here isn't the best.”
I laughed under my breath. “It’s a weird kind of paradise.”
“You get used to it,” he said. “But I figured if you were going to take a break from your world, it should be somewhere that doesn’t ask anything from you.”
My throat caught, just a little. It wasn’t a big gesture. Not loud. Not grand. But in a life where everything had been so rigidly scheduled, measured, timed to the minute—this, whatever it was, felt like a pause I hadn’t realized I needed.
The sky hung low and heavy, a deep silver stretched across the horizon. The kind of rain only Silverstone knows how to summon. The air was thick with the scent of wet asphalt and electricity, every heartbeat around me syncing to the growl of engines waiting to be unleashed. I stood just beyond the garage, headset idle in my hand, watching the grid form beneath the mist. Max at the front. Oscar beside him. And Lando, third, just as he said he would be. His home race, and he was right in the thick of it.
The downpour came like a curtain, sudden and unrelenting. Rain turned the track into a mirror, reflecting the blinking start lights above like tiny stars trembling in water. Everything blurred, the outlines of helmets, the streaks of color, the boundary between nerves and awe. I gripped the headset tighter, though I had no role to play. I was just there to feel it. And God, I felt everything.
The lights went out, and the cars surged forward like unleashed storms. Max took the early lead, but Oscar moved like a blade through water, slipping ahead with calculated grace. And then Lando, steady, patiently found his moment. A sharp breath caught in my throat as he swept into second, fluid and fearless. My chest swelled with something too big for words.
The storm thickened. The safety car was called. Pit crews danced in the chaos, tires changed with choreography that defied the rain. Lando held his ground. Oscar widened his lead, until a penalty rewrote the script, and suddenly, Lando was first.
The final laps blurred into something dreamlike. Raindrops hit the tarmac like applause. Every corner felt like it could tilt the world. I didn’t know I was holding my breath until I saw the flag, that checkered promise slicing through the storm.
Lando had won. He won the British Grand Prix, his home race.
The crowd roared, but I could barely hear it over the wild beat of my own heart. McLaren spilled into the pit lane, arms raised, faces soaked in rain and joy. Confetti tangled with droplets in the air, a strange kind of magic. I leaned back against the cold wall, still trembling from it all—the tension, the beauty, the impossible victory that felt so utterly right.
This wasn’t just the race I had always dreamed of attending. It was his moment. And somehow, impossibly, I had been there to see it from the inside.
Parc Fermé was an electric blur.
Rain still misted down like it hadn’t gotten the memo that the race was over, and yet no one cared. Crew members were yelling, hugging, crying, soaked through and grinning like fools. Cameras surged toward the cars and the winning driver, Lando, helmet off, hair damp and curling at the edges, absolutely radiant with disbelief.
I hovered near the back of the McLaren crowd, not wanting to intrude. My heart was still racing, as if I’d driven the last fifteen laps myself. I’d screamed into the headset so hard during the final overtakes I was surprised I hadn’t broken it.
He climbed out of the car slowly, like it took a moment for his brain to catch up to what had just happened. He tore off his gloves, tossed them aside, and let the cheers wash over him.
And then—he turned. Not to the cameras. Not to the reporters. But to someone just outside the barrier. His mother.
I recognized her immediately. He’d posted about her once—on Mother’s Day, I think—and the resemblance was undeniable. Her expression was nothing short of overwhelming joy, pride etched in every line of her face as she leaned over the barrier to wrap her arms around him.
He melted into her hug like a kid again, helmet pressed against her shoulder. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, not with all the chaos around us, but I saw him nod, saw his hand squeeze hers, saw her brush a damp strand of hair from his forehead before pulling back with a teary smile.
He laughed, and then turned back into the swirl of the crowd.And that’s when his eyes found me.
I was still half-hidden behind a line of engineers, hands shoved in my coat pockets, trying not to look like I’d just lived through a spiritual experience. But when our eyes met, the noise seemed to dim. He didn’t hesitate. Just started walking toward me, like everything else could wait. And as he got closer, I noticed it—the glint in his eyes that wasn’t just adrenaline or victory. It was something softer. Calmer.
“Hi,” he said, just above the noise, still slightly breathless.
“Hi,” I replied, blinking rain out of my lashes. “Nice little drive.”
He huffed a laugh, cheeks flushed from effort and cold. “Could’ve been worse.”
“You made Verstappen look slow.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” he teased, but his smile faltered a little—turned thoughtful. “I kept wondering… if you’d stayed through the whole thing.”
I tilted my head. “I wasn’t going to miss your first home win.”
His mouth twitched. “Wasn’t sure if it’d ever happen, to be honest.”
“Well,” I said, stepping a little closer, “you made history. In the rain. At Silverstone.”
The moment held—not loud, not dramatic. Just full.
And when he finally pulled me into a damp, exhausted, elated hug, I realized I didn’t care about the cameras or the cold or how wild this all was. Because I was here. And so was he.
The crowd roared as Lando stepped onto the top step of the podium, rain still falling in that classic Silverstone drizzle—light but ever-present, like the British weather was weeping with pride.
I stood off to the side with the team, tucked under a sea of orange jackets and champagne-soaked flags. The cheers were deafening, but my smile felt louder. He looked up as the anthem played, face tilted toward the sky, big smile etched to his face. His name echoed through the speakers, through the grandstands, through my chest.
“First time?” a voice said beside me, light and amused.
I turned—and froze.
His mother.
She had the same warmth in her eyes as her son, the same wry half-smile, like she already knew something you didn’t. She was dressed casually but elegant, rain mist clinging to her curls, and she was watching the podium like her heart was right up there with him.
“I—uh, yes,” I said, suddenly self-conscious. “To the Grand Prix. Not… not life.”
She chuckled. “You’re Y/N, right?”
My brain short-circuited. “He… mentioned me?”
She gave me a knowing look. “He doesn’t shut up, actually.”
That made me laugh—genuinely. The tension in my shoulders slipped just a little.
“I’m—sorry,” I said, holding out a damp hand. “I should’ve introduced myself earlier. I didn’t want to—well, it’s his moment.”
“It still is,” she said kindly, shaking my hand. “And you’re part of it, aren’t you?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. But I smiled, and I hoped it said enough. We stood there together, watching him raise the trophy over his head like it weighed nothing, the crowd roaring his name. And for the first time since arriving, I didn’t feel like I was intruding. I felt like I belonged.
I woke up to over two hundred unread notifications, a slightly damp McLaren hoodie draped over the armchair, and the distinct post-race high that hadn’t quite worn off. The silence in the room felt unnatural after the roar of Silverstone the day before, like my body was still waiting for another engine to rev, another crowd to scream. My phone buzzed again. Probably the seventh time since I opened my eyes.
And then it rang.
Tiara. FaceTime.
Of course.
I answered without thinking, still rubbing sleep from my eyes.
Her face filled the screen immediately—wide-eyed, fully dressed, holding a smoothie she clearly wasn’t drinking.
“Don’t even try to pretend nothing happened,” she snapped. “You—you—are in a full-on F1 fanfic and didn’t tell me?!”
“I literally texted you ‘I survived’ at midnight.”
“You survived a victory hug from Lando Norris that’s now a trending GIF on Twitter,” she deadpanned. “You think I’m talking about your survival?”
I groaned, rolling onto my back. “It wasn’t a hug-hug. It was just… we were both soaked. Emotional. You had to be there.”
“Oh, I was,” she said, tapping her screen. “Courtesy of this HIGH-DEF footage of you two at Parc Fermé. He spotted you across a crowd like some rom-com lead. It’s giving British Golden Retriever sees girl who understands cardiovascular surgery.”
I buried my face in the pillow. “Oh my God.”
Tiara wasn’t done.
“And don’t think I missed the Race Day Fit Check post either. You looked fire, babe. Leather jacket, tailored trousers, white trainers — very off-duty surgeon meets paddock princess. The timeline’s obsessed.”
I sat up finally, switching app to my instagram. She wasn’t lying.
My Instagram post from yesterday was just a simple mirror pic captioned “On leave. Let the engines do the stitching today 🏁🫀” had blown up.
Fashion accounts were reposting it under #OffDutyGridMuse, and I had DMs from people asking for the links to my outfit. Apparently, my second slide—a short video clip of me walking along the McLaren hospitality line, lanyard swaying, hair slicked back, sunnies on—had also hit explore.
But that wasn’t even the main event.
Everywhere I looked, people were posting clips of Lando’s hug. The way his eyes had found me. The fact that, soaked and trembling with adrenaline, he’d walked straight past the cameras to me.
There were side-by-side comparison edits already. Me in my scrubs. Me in McLaren orange. Headlines like:
“Who is Y/N? The CT surgeon-turned-style icon quietly taking over Silverstone.”
“From ORs to Overtakes: Dr. Y/N and Lando’s Rainy Moment Sparks Internet Buzz”
“Lando Norris Celebrates Home Win With Emotional Hug: Not With Teammates, But a Certain Doctor?”
I blinked, still processing.
“Okay,” I mumbled, “this is insane.”
“No, you’re insane for not warning me this was even on the table,” Tiara said. “Also, side note, your smile in that video? That wasn’t your 'friend' smile. That was your ‘I have a pulse because he makes it race’ smile.”
I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.
Lando Norris liked your post.
I just stared at the screen, my own OOTD post sitting there—still getting comments, likes ticking upward faster than I could read them—when the notification came through. For a moment, it felt like the online world and my real one had crashed into each other.
And then—a DM came through.
@lando: So... race-day fit rating 10/10
@lando: Surgeon x paddock runway walk? Untouchable.
@lando: Also
@lando: If you’re not on a plane yet… breakfast?
I smiled. Not the camera kind. The kind that starts behind your ribs and works its way up. Tiara narrowed her eyes at me through the screen. “That’s his name popping up, isn’t it?”
“I have to go,” I said, biting back a grin.
“Oh my god, you’re going.”
“I’m just getting food.”
“With Lando. Norris.”
I didn’t deny it. I just stood up, grabbed my towel before beelining for the bathroom. “Wish me luck.”
Tiara was grinning like she’d manifested this entire storyline herself. “You don’t need luck, babe. You’ve already got pole position.”
The café was small—the kind with handwritten menus, slightly chipped mugs, and windows that fogged easily from the warmth inside. It smelled like espresso and sourdough toast. The only people around were a couple with a toddler in the corner and a server who clearly didn’t care about anyone’s fame level.
Which was, I realized, exactly the point.
Lando was already there when I arrived. Hoodie pulled over damp curls, cap low, eyes on the window like he was still processing the race in slow motion. But when I stepped inside, he looked up and smiled—the kind of smile that wasn’t just reflex.
“You came,” he said.
“I thought about ghosting you,” I teased, pulling off my coat.
“But?”
“But you look like someone who forgets to eat post-victory, so I figured I had to be here.”
“Not wrong,” he muttered, eyes flicking down to the coffee in front of him. “You want something?”
I nodded, and he flagged the server down. When I slid into the seat across from him, he gave me a once-over. “You look different.”
“Better or worse?”
He smiled. “Just… not the grid version of you. It’s nice.”
“Same,” I said, nodding to his hoodie. “No helmet. No microphones. You’re kind of quiet without the noise.”
He laughed into his cup. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s not,” I said. “I like quiet.”
His gaze lingered on me, serious for a beat longer than I expected. Then he reached for the sugar packet and shrugged like he needed to lighten the air.
“I almost missed my press call last night,” he said.
“Why?”
“Kept wondering if I should’ve kissed you.”
I choked on my coffee.
He grinned. “Relax, I didn’t.”
“Obviously.”
“But I thought about it.”
I stared at him, trying not to smile. “Why?”
He leaned back. “Honestly? I don’t know. You were just there. And I’d been in the car for almost two hours and all I could think about was the tumi dinner where I first met you, and the hospital cafe, and how you make a race feel quieter. Like, less... frantic.”
My chest tightened at that — because I knew exactly what he meant. That thing we hadn’t said out loud yet.
“So,” I said softly, “why didn’t you?”
He shrugged again, slower this time. “Didn’t want to make it a moment you’d regret.”
I looked down, tracing the edge of my spoon. “And now?”
He leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Now I’m having breakfast with a girl who slices open hearts for a living and still showed up to Silverstone looking like a Vogue spread.”
“And?”
“And I think I should let her finish her coffee before I consider kissing her again.”
My mouth curved without meaning to. “So considerate.”
He raised a brow. “I’m patient. Also mildly terrified of you.”
“Good.” I gave him a simple smile, despite the butterflies. We sat there, quiet again. But this time, it wasn’t full of tension or nerves. It was steady. Grounded. Like we had time to figure this out.
“I cannot believe I left it,” I muttered for the third time that morning, thumbing uselessly through my camera roll, where I had taken a photo of the last chapter of a book I read like it might magically reappear.
Lando glanced over from the driver’s seat, amused. “Still talking about that book?”
“Yes,” I groaned. “I was two chapters from the end. Two. And it was just getting brutal in the best way.”
He didn’t laugh, but the corner of his mouth pulled. “You sound like you just left your kid at an airport.”
“Close. Except my kid is fictional and probably about to die in the snow.”
He chuckled then, soft and teasing. “Well, we can’t have that.”
I assumed he’d let the conversation drop, but ten minutes later, when we took an exit off the motorway, I realized we weren’t headed back to my hotel.
“Where are we—?”
“You’ll see.”
It wasn’t until he parallel-parked (impressively well, to my surprise), that I looked up and saw it. An old brick storefront tucked between a florist and a bakery. Wooden windows. Worn navy awning. The kind of place you’d miss if you blinked.
Wren Books.
Since 1968.
I turned to him slowly. “Did you just bring me to a bookstore?”
He slid his sunglasses onto his cap. “You said you were in pain.”
I blinked. “That was a dramatic exaggeration.”
“Didn’t sound like it.”
The tiny bell above the door jingled as we stepped inside. The air smelled like dust, lavender, and ink. Floor-to-ceiling shelves. Narrow aisles. A rolling ladder I was absolutely going to climb.
“You come here often?” I whispered, like we were in a church.
He nodded. “Sometimes. It’s quiet. No one ever really recognizes me in here. And the old man who runs it thinks F1 is a fancy vacuum brand.”
I laughed under my breath and let my fingertips trail across the spines. Hardcover. Softcover. Gold-foiled titles. A bookshop that made time feel soft and slow. Lando trailed behind me, hands in his pockets, content to let me browse.
It felt strange, in the best way, to be seen like this. Not scrubbed in. Not wearing a pass around my neck. Just… a girl chasing the last two chapters of her story, and a boy who made sure she didn’t have to do it alone.
“Found it,” I breathed, yanking a familiar cover off the shelf like a lifeline. Same edition. Same dog-eared chapter.
Lando appeared behind me, peering over my shoulder. “You gonna finish it right here?”
“Tempting.”
He smiled. “Want a coffee with that?”
“Are you bribing me into reading next to you?”
“Obviously.”
I smirked, holding the book close to my chest. “You really don’t mind doing something this… slow?”
He looked at me, really looked at me, and shrugged. “With you? It doesn’t feel slow.”
The back of the bookstore opened into a little indoor garden, with barely more than three mismatched tables. An elderly barista with faded tattoos slid two mugs across the counter without asking for names—just smiled like she’d already decided we were harmless.
“Didn’t even order,” I whispered, amused.
“They know,” Lando said, taking the seat across from me. “I’m a creature of habit.”
“Let me guess. Black coffee, no sugar?”
“Flat white. Two sugars. Don’t stereotype me.”
I laughed as I settled into the seat beside the window, tucking my knees up and cracking open my book. It felt almost surreal, like I’d stepped out of a sprint and into a still frame. Outside the window, the sky was silver with low clouds. Inside, it was just warm light, soft pages, and the gentle clink of mugs against worn wood.
Lando didn’t pull out his phone. He didn’t even pretend to be checking the time.
Instead, he watched me read for a moment, then leaned back in his chair, arms crossed loosely, like he was content just being there. With me.
“Okay,” he said eventually, voice low. “Tell me what happens.”
“I can’t,” I murmured. “You have to read it yourself.”
“I hate not knowing.”
“Welcome to my life.”
I turned a page, then added, “Besides, you strike me as the kind of person who skips ahead to see who dies.”
He looked mildly offended. “I do not. I skim.”
“Same thing.”
He reached for his coffee, clearly not planning to argue. “If you ever publish something, though—like, I don’t know, a book of medical essays or a memoir—you’d better tell me what happens.”
I raised a brow over the top of my book. “You think I’m going to write a memoir?”
“I’d read it. Especially if there’s a chapter about the time you made a race car driver wait while you finished a novel.”
I smiled without meaning to, eyes scanning the page—but the words were starting to blur. Because the truth was, I wasn’t really reading anymore. Not in the usual way.
I was memorizing this moment. The way he stirred his drink without thinking. The way his leg bounced lightly under the table. The way he looked at me like I wasn’t some story he had to figure out, but one he wanted to keep unfolding.
“This is nice,” I murmured, half to myself.
He didn’t respond right away. Then, “Yeah. You’re kind of… dangerous like this.”
I glanced up. “What do you mean?”
“Calm. Soft-spoken. Reading in an old bookstore. That’s how people fall in love in movies.”
My breath caught, not because it was a grand declaration, but because it wasn’t. It was a tease, barely a flicker of a grin, but there was something behind it. Like a door left cracked open.
“And you?” I asked, a little too steady. “You fall in love at bookstores?”
He looked at me, the faintest trace of heat behind his lashes. “No. But I think I’d come back for this.”
We didn’t rush.
The bookshop café let us linger, long past the last sip of coffee. At some point, I stopped pretending to read, and he stopped pretending not to watch me. The silence between us wasn't awkward, it was charged. Like a thread stretched between two pins, tightening just enough to make us both aware of how close we were and how easily we could pull away.
But we didn’t.
When we stepped outside, the world had softened. A fine mist had settled over the street, the kind that clung to your skin instead of falling like proper rain. Lando pulled up his hood; I didn’t bother. My cheeks were already warm.
“Where to now?” I asked.
He shrugged, hands in his pockets. “You’ve got your book. I’ve got time.”
We walked, without direction, even when we saw Lando’s car parked outside the bookstore, we still walked without talking, just the quiet rhythm of our steps echoing off the pavement. The street curved gently past ivy-covered flats and flickering old lanterns that hadn’t been updated to LED yet. It felt like walking through a city that had forgotten what century it belonged to.
“I like it here,” I said, finally. “It’s… still.”
“I thought you might.” His voice was soft, and he glanced sideways at me. “You talk fast when you’re nervous. But when it’s quiet? You don’t fill the space.”
I gave a small smile. “Neither do you.”
“Not with you.”
That sentence hung there, fog-wrapped and feather-light—and yet somehow heavier than anything either of us had said all day.
We turned a corner, and our shoulders brushed—not on purpose, but not entirely by accident either. I didn’t move away.
“I was trying not to like you, you know,” I said, eyes still ahead.
“I know,” he replied. “You did a terrible job.”
I laughed, and he smiled. That slow, lopsided one that made me want to pause in the middle of the street and forget every reason I’d ever built a wall in the first place.
“Can I tell you something?” he said after a few more steps.
I nodded.
“I thought that morning at the hospital's café would be it. You in your scrub, mid-shift, looking like you didn’t have five seconds to breathe. And me, standing there like I accidentally crossed timelines. It felt like one of those weird little moments the calendar forgets. Something out of order. Unexpected, but… unforgettable.”
My chest tightened. Not because it was grand or poetic, but because it was true.
“And now?”
He looked at me then, like he wasn’t quite sure whether to say what came next — but also knew he couldn’t not.
“Now I think about you in places where you don’t belong. Like the paddock. The grid. On a Sunday morning when I’m supposed to be mentally prepping, and instead I’m wondering if you’re making coffee in your kitchen reading a latest journal in your iPad in a messy bun.”
I swallowed, heart in my throat. The mist curled between us like breath. Cold on my skin. Warm in my chest.
“So what happens now?” I asked, barely above a whisper.
He looked down at me, still walking, close enough that I could see the glints in his green eyes, close enough to see the white mist that came out of his mouth each time he exhaled, the way his voice stayed low like this was something just for me.
“Now we keep walking,” he said. “Unless you want to stop.”
I did. I stopped.
And he did too, immediately. His eyes searched mine, not startled, but like he knew. Like maybe he’d hoped I’d be the one to stop first.
The space between us tightened. Breathless. I didn’t say anything. I just looked at him, really looked, like I was memorizing the moment before it unraveled. And then he smiled. Small. Crooked. Not the smile for fans or cameras. The one that meant, you don’t scare me, you undo me.
“So?” he asked, voice barely a thread. “Why’d you stop?”
My pulse tripped over itself.
“Because I’m tired of pretending this doesn’t feel different,” I whispered.
And before I could second-guess it, I took a step closer. He didn’t move, didn’t flinch or breathe too loud. But his gaze softened. Like he already knew what I was about to do and was letting me have the moment.
So I reached up, slowly, fingers grazing the edge of his jacket. Not pulling, just anchoring. Just saying I’m still here. And then, without another word, I leaned in.
Our nose brushed first. Barely. My lips lingered, like I was testing gravity. And then I kissed him.
Gently.
No rush. No tilt of urgency. Just a slow, steady press, like punctuation at the end of a sentence I’d been writing for months without realizing.
His hand came up to cradle the side of my neck, warm even in the chill, and he kissed me back with the same stillness. Not cautious. Not unsure. His thumb brushed just under my jaw, and I let my eyes close. The rain didn’t matter. The street didn’t matter. Time, for once, didn’t matter.
It wasn’t the kind of kiss that demanded a future. It was the kind that honored everything that had already happened–the almosts, the timing, the pages in between.
And when we finally pulled apart, his forehead rested against mine. “Finally,” he murmured, voice low and slightly hoarse, like the word had been waiting at the back of his throat for weeks.
I pulled back just enough to see his face. His eyes were soft, crinkled at the corners. That boyish grin was there too, not smug, not teasing. Just real.
“Was starting to think I imagined all of it,” he added, brushing a raindrop from my cheek with his thumb.
“You didn’t,” I whispered.
He smiled a little wider. “Good. Because if you had chosen to walk again, I might’ve let you… but I wouldn’t have liked it.”
That made me laugh, quietly, into the space between us.
“I wasn’t going anywhere,” I said.
And I meant it.
People always ask how it started. Like they’re expecting a moment, a grand ask, a rose-tinted “Will you be my girlfriend?” over dinner or after a race or under fairy lights. But that’s not how it happened.
Lando never really asked me out.
Not in the way people expect.
There was no question, no label. Just… a beginning. A slow, steady unfolding that felt more like a choice we made quietly, over time. Like people who had lived enough lives separately to know that love doesn’t always need a declaration. Just presence.
He kept showing up. In texts. In coffee shop corners. In flights he didn’t tell his team about until after he booked them. And I kept letting him in. Carefully, but willingly.
We didn’t rush to name it. We were busy, his world spun at 300 kilometers an hour, mine cracked chests open and stitched them back together. But between grid calls and ORs, airports and after-round coffees, we built something that was ours.
We didn’t try to hide it, exactly. We just didn’t parade it around.
It was easier that way. Simpler to keep the world out. Tiara called it “the perfect soft-launch relationship.” I called it safe.
And then... the jacket incident happened.
It was Monza, where I was free from the on-call schedule all weekend and decided coming to his race was better than spending the weekend in my bed hibernating. It was wet, windy, and I was miserable. I had no idea the cameras were rolling, F1’s content team was filming behind-the-scenes moments, team footage, crew interactions. Lando had lent me his McLaren jacket cause the rain decided to soak me from top to bottom. My hair was losing its curls. My sneakers were ruined. I looked like someone’s exhausted sister, not a romantic interest.
I didn’t even realize I’d made it into the background of the final cut–just a quick frame of me laughing with a race engineer, my face a bit blurry, half-draped in Lando’s soaked orange jacket. Nothing glamorous. Just… human.
But the internet noticed.
The next day, my phone exploded.
Someone posted a still on twitter, “Who’s that girl?? Wearing Lando’s jacket??”
That would’ve been enough. But two hours later, a TikTok fan edit surfaced: a slowed-down frame of me in the jacket, followed by a split-screen comparison—the same smile, same posture, as the viral hug video from silverstone.
Comments went wild:
“Did they just hard-launch in 0.2 seconds??”
“So silverstone wasn't a friendly hug??”
“Why is this the softest reveal I’ve ever seen??”
"Isn't that the doctor from silverstone??"
“Not Lando dating a literal surgeon goddess, I’m sobbing.”
“Finally WAG with a real job.”
It was over. We were officially found.
Lando texted me a screenshot of a tweet with 40k likes. Just the words, “he’s soft-launching a surgeon. i can’t breathe.”
You: you gave me the jacket. that’s on you.
Lando: bold of you to assume i wasn’t planning it.
I could’ve panicked, yet I didn’t.
Because by then, we already knew what we were.
No posts. No statement. No “Instagram official.” Just the quiet knowledge that somehow, without either of us needing to say it out loud, we had chosen each other.
The media storm had burned through most of the morning. I hadn’t opened Twitter. Lando had–for research, he claimed–and immediately regretted it. Tiara had sent seventeen screenshots, all with the caption: “YOU HAVE 8 SECONDS TO EXPLAIN.”
Now, I was sitting beside Lando on a low couch in McLaren’s motorhome. Across from us sat Julia, his PR manager, expression somewhere between mildly impressed and professionally panicked.
Julia set her tablet down, folded her hands. “So. Let’s talk about… whatever this is.”
I didn’t flinch. “That wasn’t a rollout plan, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Julia offered a tight smile. “I figured. But the algorithm doesn’t care about your rollout strategy, unfortunately.”
Lando leaned back, arms stretched across the back of the couch. “Is it bad?”
Julia raised an eyebrow. “Define ‘bad.’”
He winced. “Okay.”
I glanced at him, then back to Julia. “We weren’t trying to hide it. We were just… keeping it ours.”
Julia nodded. “And honestly? It shows. The response is overwhelmingly positive. Curious. Intrigued. But positive.”
She flipped the tablet around to show them a few headlines.
“F1’s Quietest Power Couple?”
“Surgeon, Influencer, McLaren Soft-Launch Queen?”
“Lando’s Jacket Might Be the Real Main Character of the Italian GP.”
Lando snorted. “They’re not wrong.”
Julia gave me a more pointed look. “You’re already media-trained by default, your hospital interviews, your fashion work, your seminars. You’re polished. That helps.”
I tilted my head. “But?”
“There’s always a but.” Julia paused. “There will be questions. Requests. Invitations. Maybe even some articles about your past. People will want to define you by your proximity to him.”
I didn’t look away. “They’ll learn quickly I don’t orbit anyone.”
Julia smiled at that. “Good. Then we have two options.”
She held up two fingers. “One: you both say nothing. Keep it quiet. Let the moment fade. Risk speculation-maybe some ‘are they or aren’t they’ articles every time you’re in the same city.”
“And two?” Lando asked.
“Two: A soft confirmation. One photo. One line. Maybe on your terms–not the media’s.”
Lando turned to me, and for a moment the buzz of the day, the headlines, the chaos—it all fell away. “It’s your call,” he said. “If you’re not ready, I’m not pushing it.”
“My call?” I asked. “You don’t care?”
His expression didn’t shift yet his hand reached mine and holded it. “Of course I care. But it’s your world, too. Your life. Your name.”
There was something so unflinching in that, not indifference, but respect.
Still, I tilted my head. “Okay, but what would you want, if it were just you?”
He gave a small laugh under his breath, eyes flicking away like he hadn’t expected the question to come back at him. “Then I’d want to say it,” he said quietly. “Not because I owe anyone anything. Just because I don’t want to pretend.”
The pen stilled in his hand. “But I also don’t want this to make your life hell. You’ve got an actual career–your patients, your followers, and a thousand people who already think you can’t be both things at once.”
Julia looked between us, silent. I took a breath. The truth was… he wasn’t wrong. I’d spent so long trying to keep the two sides of my life separate–influencer and resident, fashion and medicine, and now here was this third thing: a person who straddled two worlds too. A person who, somehow, felt like belonging in both.
I looked back at the screen. The freeze-frame showed me in the jacket, rain in my hair, laughing like I didn’t know a single lens was turned my way. I didn’t look like a brand. I looked like myself.
“I think,” I said slowly, “if we’re already here… we don’t deny it. We don’t parade it either. No red carpet hard launch. No ‘joint statement.’ Just… let them figure it out.”
Julia tapped her screen. “Understood. Soft confirm, no formal announcement. Just authenticity.”
“Just us,” Lando echoed, still watching me.
The buzz of Monza had faded fast as I was back navigating my life as a resident. I kept replaying the way Lando held my hand, his kisses, soft whispers, the loud garage and roar of the car, which felt so contrasting with the loudness of the hospital that somehow felt lonelier than ever. I fell back into a routine I knew too well, scrubs, rounds, charting, back to scrubs. The comments online hadn’t stopped either. Whispers about my intentions, how I was just like another influencer, that this relationship wouldn't last that they'd give it only two months.
I didn’t respond—not to the noise, and not to the ache of missing him. Because even when Lando texted, FaceTimed, sent photos from his hotel breakfasts or during pre-race training, there was still a distance. Not just in kilometers, but in everything else too. I told myself to focus. I told myself to hold it together. Until I couldn’t anymore.
Some nights don’t end, they just bleed. This one started like that. The hallway outside the NICU smelled like antiseptic and tired decisions. I rubbed sanitizer into my hands until they burned—my fourth coat in under an hour—and blinked back the sting in my eyes from too much air conditioning and not enough sleep.
It was close to midnight when the alarms started. Not the shrill, chaotic kind, but the cold ones—the ones that tell you something has already gone wrong. When the baby’s heart rate began to dip, it was like a warning bell sounding in my chest.
She’d been ours for nearly three months.
Born with a rare congenital heart defect, one I’d written case notes about in med school but never seen up close. I knew her chart like my own reflection. She had survived two surgeries, and had the fiercest will I’d ever seen in a NICU incubator. She had hair like peach fuzz and a grip stronger than her weight in grams should allow. Her parents called her “our little fighter,” and for a long time, she lived up to the name.
Until tonight.
We tried everything. I led the code—compressions with two fingers, switching off with the paeds resident on-duty every two minutes, while our attending called out meds and timers like an orchestra conductor keeping chaos from slipping off rhythm.
I didn’t think. I reacted. Muscle memory. Protocols. Calm voice even when the room stopped breathing. That’s what they teach you. That composure equals clarity.
Fourty-five minutes.
That’s how long we tried to bring her back. To reach ROSC. A heartbeat. We pushed epi. We begged with our hands. I don’t even remember when the attending finally said it, “Time of death: 3:37 a.m.”
The silence that followed wasn’t peace.
It was ruin.
I took off my gloves in the corridor like they weighed double. One of the nurses handed me water I couldn’t drink. Another touched my elbow. I think she meant it kindly.
Then came the worst part.
The family room was dimly lit, too warm. Her parents were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on the vinyl couch, eyes puffy, coffee untouched. The mother stood when I entered. The father didn’t.
I told them gently. Clearly. Like I’d practiced. Like the words were surgical tools. Sharp, clean, necessary.
And just like that, their world ended.
They didn’t cry right away. Grief didn’t look like it did in movies. Her mother covered her mouth and sank back down. Her father stared at the wall. Then the voices rose—not at each other, but at me. It wasn’t screaming. It wasn’t unkind. It was anguish disguised as blame.
“You said she was stable.”
“You said she had a chance.”
“You were supposed to help her.”
They didn’t say it to hurt me. But it did.
Because I had said those things. Because I had believed them. Because I had meant every single word.
I didn’t cry. Not when I debriefed with my attending. Not during sign-out. Not even when one of the nurses hugged me a little too long after shift change.
But my hands shook when I changed out of my blood-specked scrubs. And my chest ached when I walked past her empty isolette on the way out.
Outside, the sky was trying to be morning.
I crossed the lobby and thought maybe I’d make it to the parking lot before everything caught up to me. That maybe if I just kept walking, it would stay inside.
Then I saw him.
Lando. In flesh.
Leaning against the far wall near the revolving doors, holding two coffees and wearing that dumb black hoodie that barely covered his curls. He looked up just as I spotted him.
I stopped. My body did before my mind could.
His face shifted when he saw mine.
And then I broke.
No warning. Just shattered.
I stumbled forward like my body gave up on pretending, and I was crying before I reached him—raw, shaking, inconsolable in a way that had nothing to do with physical pain.
He put the coffee on the chair, no, he basically dropped the coffees on instinct. Didn’t hesitate.
His arms came around me in a heartbeat. One around my back, one cradling my head, his chin resting just above my temple like he’d rehearsed this. Like he knew I needed it more than I needed air.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured, over and over. “I’ve got you, love.”
I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t breathe. Just sobbed into his chest in the middle of the hospital lobby, as the early shift staff filtered in with badge swipes and takeaway cups, quietly pretending not to notice the resident collapsing into someone’s arms.
But they did notice.
I felt the stares. Heard the silence swell and shift.
Lando must’ve felt it too.
He dipped his head, speaking quietly, almost to himself. “Let’s get you out of here, yeah?”
I nodded. Couldn’t do more.
He guided me gently, one arm firm around my shoulders, steering me toward the car parked near the side entrance. My feet moved because his did. My bones didn’t know how to hold me anymore, but he did.
He opened the passenger door and helped me inside like I was glass. Closed it with a soft click. Then slipped into the driver’s seat beside me without starting the engine.
He didn’t talk. Didn’t press.
Just reached for my hand.
And that’s when I cried all over again—quiet now, exhausted, with nothing left to prove. Letting the weight of a tiny heartbeat lost in the night settle into my bones.
And this time, I didn’t carry it alone.
By the time we got to my apartment, the sky had given way to a dull grey light—that post-night shift haze where everything feels a little too loud and too quiet at the same time.
Lando didn’t say much during the drive, and I was grateful for that. I didn’t have the energy to fill the space, and he didn’t seem to need me to. He just kept one hand on the wheel and the other loosely over mine in the center console, thumb grazing my knuckles like he knew I needed the contact to stay tethered.
When we reached my place, he parked, turned the engine off, and didn’t ask if I wanted him to come up. He just got out, grabbed my bag from the backseat, and waited for me to lead the way.
I unlocked the door with shaky fingers. The apartment smelled faintly like jasmine and stale coffee. My cat blinked at me from the couch, tail flicking once in sleepy judgment before curling back up.
I stood there for a beat too long, keys still in my hand.
Then Lando gently touched the small of my back. “Shoes off,” he said softly, a nudge toward normal. “And drink some water. Doctor’s orders.”
I let out a breath that might have been a laugh. Did as I was told. He followed me in, quiet and careful, setting my bag down and looking at the space like he was trying not to disturb it. Like he knew everything here had been holding something fragile.
I collapsed onto the edge of the couch and curled my legs under me. My body felt like it had been hollowed out.
He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. Set it on the table in front of me. Then sat on the floor, cross-legged, like getting too close would make it worse.
“You don’t have to talk,” he said, voice low. “Not if you don’t want to.”
I stared down at my hands. My nails were chipped. There was a tiny streak of dried blood near my wrist from where my glove had torn during the code.
“I keep seeing her face,” I whispered.
He didn’t move.
“She had these tiny lashes. Like air.” I swallowed hard. “And after we called time, one of our nurses brushed them with her thumb. Like she was tucking her in.”
The quiet between us wasn’t awkward. It was sacred. Heavy and gentle at once.
“I’ve lost patients before,” I said. “Adults. Older kids. I’ve told families it was over. I’ve even walked out of an OR and thrown up in the stairwell. But this one…” My voice cracked. “I really thought she’d make it.”
Lando’s brows pinched slightly. But he didn’t say sorry. He didn’t try to soften it.
“She was fighting,” I continued, “and we kept asking her to fight harder. And she did. She did everything we asked.”
“You did everything you could.”
I nodded, but it didn’t land. “That’s what everyone says. That we 'did everything'. But there’s always a part of me that thinks if I had done one thing differently—if I’d caught it sooner, if I'd pushed for another test—maybe she'd still be here.”
His eyes didn’t leave mine. “You’re not God, Y/N.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?”
I looked away.
Lando leaned forward just a little, arms resting on his knees. “You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to be human.”
“I’m supposed to be able to hold it together.”
“Says who?”
“Everyone.”
He shook his head. “That’s crap.”
A pause. Then his voice dropped even lower, quieter. “You held that baby’s heart in your hands. You gave her more time than she would’ve had. Her parents may never see that, but I do. And I know what it’s like to carry the weight of someone else’s expectations. The pressure to be perfect, even when everything’s breaking.”
I blinked at him, something tight uncoiling in my chest.
“Don’t do that alone,” he said.
I didn’t answer. But I didn’t look away, either.
A moment passed. Then I slid down from the couch, curling into him on the rug like it was instinct. His arms came around me immediately, solid and steady, and for the first time since the code, I let myself feel the full weight of it all—what we lost, what I gave, what I couldn’t fix.
We sat like that for a long time. Just breathing. Just being. Just him. Just me. And the quiet understanding between two people from different worlds, learning how to hold space in the middle of the mess.
Yesterday passed like a blink. Or maybe a fog. I couldn’t tell. We didn’t talk about what happened, not really. We didn’t do much of anything. I remembered he basically had to shoved food down to my throat because I refused to get up from the couch. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I woke up with his hoodie around me and the weight of his arm still resting across my waist. My chest ached like I’d run through a war zone. My eyes felt swollen, though I didn’t think I’d cried again.
Grief doesn’t come with an alarm, but duty does, and mine buzzed to life just after 5:00 AM. I’d only gotten a couple hours of restless sleep, the kind where your body rests but your mind keeps reaching for what it lost.
I didn’t want to move.
But Lando stirred beside me. He hadn’t left. He’d curled into the edge of the couch with me the night before, one arm around my waist, our breathing syncing without meaning to. At some point I must’ve shifted, drifted, finally let go, because when I opened my eyes, he was already awake, brushing his thumb lightly across the back of my hand.
“You’ve got to go in,” he said, voice low and soft, like he didn’t want to disturb the quiet that had settled around us.
“I know.” My voice was scratchy, and everything ached.
“I’ll drive.”
“You really don’t have to—”
“I know,” he said again, and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “But I want to.”
The drive was quiet. The kind of silence that didn’t need filling–not uncomfortable, just familiar now. I watched the city wake up through the windshield, street lights blinking off one by one, and wondered how everything could look so normal when something felt permanently altered inside me.
He reached into the center console at a red light and pulled out a small container.
“I made you something,” he said, almost bashful. “Well. I assembled it. I wouldn’t call it cooking.”
I opened the lid and blinked. A sandwich. Peanut butter and banana. Cut diagonally. No frills.
“You remembered I forgot to pack anything.”
“You always forget.”
I smiled, small but real. “This is… actually really sweet.”
“It’s my signature dish,” he deadpanned. “A Norris family classic. Carefully constructed with love and no culinary training.”
I laughed softly—and that laugh, that ache-softening laugh, carried me all the way to the hospital parking lot.
When I stepped through the automatic doors, the lobby looked exactly the same as it did twenty-four hours ago.
But I wasn’t.
My badge clipped to the collar of my clean scrubs. My stethoscope looped around my neck. My expression fixed, practiced. Functional.
Lando didn’t come in with me. He knew better. He just rested a hand on my back before I stepped out of the car, and said, “Text me if you need anything. Or nothing. Or air.”
“I will,” I said. “Thank you.”
“For the sandwich?” he teased.
“For everything.”
Inside, the shift was already moving. Rounds underway. Notes being scribbled. Coffee half-sipped and charts half-read. But the energy shifted when I walked in. Not dramatically. No gasps. No outright questions. But there were glances. Murmured conversations that paused when I passed. The kind of silence that isn’t mean–just too careful.
People knew.
They knew what had happened. Word travels fast in a hospital, especially when someone codes for almost an hour. Especially when it’s a baby. Especially when the resident who led the code collapsed into the arms of a mysterious man in the lobby before sunrise.
I caught one of the interns whispering to a nurse.
“She’s the one who lost the kid last night.”
“Yeah. I saw her crying in the lobby, I feel sad for her too.”
“That was Lando Norris with her, right? The F1 guy?”
The words hovered in the air like static. But they didn’t sting. No one said anything to me directly. Not about the baby. Not about Lando. And oddly, I was grateful for that. There was mercy in the hush. In the way people lowered their voices and let me slip back into routine without demanding I relive it all.
I moved from one room to the next, listening to heartbeats, checking drains, adjusting meds. I could feel the grief humming beneath my skin, but the motions helped. One foot in front of the other. One chart after the next.
Eventually, during rounds, my attending approached me in the hallway. He was older, seasoned, with a gaze that could cut you open or stitch you together in a sentence.
“You did everything you could last night,” he said, no preamble.
I opened my mouth, unsure whether to argue or thank him, but he held up a hand.
“I’ve been there,” he continued. “And I know the guilt doesn’t leave just because your shift ends. But let me be clear. It wasn’t your fault. The outcome hurts, but the care you gave? That baby passed away wrapped in it.”
My throat tightened. I didn’t speak.
He nodded once. “Take what you need from that. Then keep going.”
It wasn’t a lecture. It wasn’t pity. It was grace. And I held onto it the rest of the day.
Hours later, I found a text waiting for me during a rare ten-minute break.
Lando: You okay? Need me to sneak in and refill your sandwich?
Me: That was the best sandwich I’ve ever had. I might cry again.
Lando: Happy to deliver emotional sandwiches any time. You’re doing great. I mean it.
I smiled, leaning back against the wall of the call room. Exhausted. Hollow. But not entirely alone in it anymore. And maybe that was the difference today. The baby was still gone. The pain hadn’t vanished. But the silence around me wasn’t so isolating. And the person waiting outside my world wasn’t walking away.
We hadn’t been seen together in months. Not at a race. Not in the paddock. Not in the background of a story someone could zoom into. We never made a big announcement. No "soft launch," no black-and-white dinner photo, no inside joke caption for fans to dissect. Just… one slow, unfolding connection that was real and complicated and tucked quietly into the corners of our lives. One that fits between cases and circuits, call rooms and podiums, coffee at 5 a.m. and FaceTime kisses at midnight.
But after a while, the silence started to echo louder.
It had been nearly three months since I’d been to a race.
Three months of unmatched schedules—surgeries stacked on top of each other, international conferences I couldn’t turn down, consults bleeding into weekends, and Lando’s back-to-back race calendar pushing him from continent to continent. Even when we carved out time—stolen moments between hospital shifts and red-eye flights—we were always chasing the clock.
He still came to me after some races, slipped in quietly, stayed a day or two, and left before dawn with a kiss to my forehead. And I still waited up for his calls when he crossed the finish line, heart stuttering when I saw his name light up my screen.
But the public? They didn’t see any of it.
And so the whispers started again.
“Looks like that doctor situation didn’t last.”
“Maybe it was just PR?”
“Told you — people like her don’t date people like him for long.”
“She hasn’t been at a race in months. They’re probably done.”
I didn’t take it personally.
At least not at first.
But some days, after a long shift, I’d open my phone and see a headline questioning my existence—like I’d been a footnote in someone else’s chapter—and something in my chest would twist.
I wasn’t angry. Just… tired of hiding something that had never been a secret to begin with.
Lando never pressured me to post anything, never asked for more than I could give. But I saw it in his eyes sometimes—when fans shoved phones in his face asking about “the mystery girl,” when he was tagged in edits that erased me entirely—the faint twitch of frustration in his jaw.
Still, neither of us spoke it aloud.
Until one quiet night in late-October, when I collapsed into his hoodie on the couch and whispered, “You know I miss it, right? Being there. Seeing you race.”
He turned toward me, brow creasing. “I know. I miss you being there.”
“I’ve got the weekend off,” I said, voice soft. “Next one. Abu Dhabi.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. Just stared at me. Then he said, “Come with me.”
The paddock buzzed in a way that only a season finale could bring—humid, electric, the kind of energy that vibrated off the asphalt. Flashing cameras. Champagne chilled before the race even began. Team radios crackling like nerves.
And this time, I wasn’t watching it through a screen.
I stood at Lando’s side, fingers laced with his, sunglasses perched on my nose, paddock pass lanyard grazing the hem of my tailored vest. Confident. Grounded. Ready.
I didn’t hang back this time. I didn’t trail five steps behind or duck away from photographers. I didn’t hide behind a McLaren team hoodie or worry about the timing of a headline.
This time, I walked with him. Through the paddock. Onto the grid. Past the cameras that spun toward us like moths drawn to something newly undeniable.
Lando didn’t say anything dramatic. He didn’t look at the cameras. He just squeezed my hand a little tighter, like a quiet “I’ve got you” that traveled through skin and bone.
And I squeezed back.
This was no soft launch. This was a we’re here, we’re real, we don’t need your permission kind of moment.
Later, in the paddock hospitality suite, Tiara sent me a voice note that practically shattered my eardrums.
“OH MY GOD. Y/N. THE PHOTOS. You two look like an Italian Vogue feature. That outfit?? That hand-hold??? You BROKE the internet.”
I opened Instagram and saw it immediately.
The official F1 account had already posted a paddock arrival shot: Lando in his fire suit, sunglasses on, hand in mine, a small smile tugging at the edge of his mouth. And me—steady, chin high, vest cinched at the waist like armor.
The comments were a mix of pure chaos and disbelief:
“WAIT WHAT”
“She’s real???????”
"THEYRE STILL GOING STRONG!!"
“Hard launching on last race weekend of the season is so WILD”
“She looks like she performs heart surgery for breakfast and he’s into it”
“Protect this energy at all costs”
And in the middle of it all—Lando had reposted the image with a caption that simply said:
“About time.”
It wasn’t a declaration.
It was a confirmation.
Of everything we’d already lived behind closed doors. Of nights he held me through grief and mornings I made him laugh on flights home. Of every late FaceTime, every cold brew drop-off, every race watched from a hospital on-call room.
We didn’t need to say it. We just showed up.
Together.
And this time, we didn’t walk quietly. We walked hand in hand, with the world finally seeing what we already knew. This wasn’t fleeting. This wasn’t a phase. This was us.
The race was chaos.
The kind that lives in your bones long after the engines go quiet—tires screeching, radio static, strategy calls that felt like gambles. But he did it. Lando did it.
World Champion.
And when the final flag waved, when the fireworks burst overhead and the grandstands shook with thunderous cheers, I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until the screen lit up with his name.
P1. Lando Norris.
My knees nearly gave out.
The McLaren garage erupted—mechanics yelling, hugging, sobbing. I stood back in the crowd, a blur of hands and champagne already misting the air, heart pounding against my ribs.
And still, my eyes were only looking for one person.
He parked the car, sounded breathless over the radio, laughter choked with tears. And then he climbed out, helmet still on, arms raised toward the sky as if reaching for something that had always felt a little out of reach.
I wasn’t sure when the tears started. Only that I couldn’t stop them.
He hugged every mechanic. Patted every shoulder. Fell into his engineer’s arms. And then—His mother.
She was the first person he found.
They hugged hard, forehead to forehead. She said something into his ear that he didn’t repeat—only nodded, fiercely, like it meant everything.
Then, He turned.
The helmet was still on. But I knew. Even across the chaos, even across the barrier, even when fans were screaming and cameras were flashing and the whole world was watching.
He was looking for me.
And when he saw me—finally, finally—the tension in his body changed.
He moved. Straight toward me, cutting through crew and crowd, unbothered by the cameras now closing in. The security guard at the edge of parc fermé barely registered me—Lando waved him off without words.
I blinked. “Lando—”
He didn’t say anything. Not at first.
He just stopped in front of me, eyes wide, chest still rising like he couldn’t catch up to the moment.
Then, without breaking eye contact—
He took off his helmet.
One slow, deliberate motion. Pulled it free. Dropped it carelessly to the side. Ran a hand through his sweat-damp curls.
And kissed me.
Hard. Unapologetically. Like a confession that had been burning in his throat for months.
The crowd went feral. The paddock flashed white with a hundred camera shutters. The media burst into chaos. Some people cheered. Others just gasped.
But I didn’t hear it. Because I was kissing him back.
And in the middle of that kiss, just as he pulled back far enough to catch his breath, still holding my face like he didn’t care about a single person watching, he whispered, “I love you.”
My breath caught.
He said it like it had lived inside him too long. Like it finally found its way out.
“I love you,” he said again, louder this time. “I didn’t know how much until you weren’t there every weekend. Until I kept winning, and it didn’t mean anything unless I could find your face at the end of it.”
Tears blurred everything again.
“I’m here,” I managed.
“You always are.” His thumb brushed my cheek. “Even when you’re not in the paddock, you’re with me. In every turn. Every lap. Every quiet.”
I couldn’t say it back fast enough. “I love you too.”
And just like that, in a sea of orange and noise, with champagne in the air and a championship behind him, he kissed me again.
The paddock had emptied. The fireworks were done, the interviews wrapped. The celebratory noise still buzzed somewhere in the distance—team members laughing over drinks, music bleeding from the hospitality suite—but we had slipped away, unnoticed.
Not far. Just far enough.
Lando had taken my hand sometime between the last question and the last photo, and neither of us had let go.
Now, we sat beneath the stars on a low rooftop terrace just above the motorhome. Shoes kicked off. Racing suit had changed to a clean team merch. My hand tucked into his, thumb running small circles along his knuckles. I hadn’t said much since the podium—not after the kiss, not after the sudden onslaught of attention. But I didn’t feel like I need to.
He looked at me now, his curls messy from the wind, his green eyes soft in the moonlight, and smiled like the chaos below belonged to someone else.
“I should feel different,” he murmured, voice low.
I glanced over him. “You don’t?”
“I mean… yeah. It’s everything I’ve ever worked for. But this—” he nodded toward my hand in his “—feels bigger.”
I laughed quietly, the sound more breath than voice. My heart felt like sommer-saulting. “That’s insane.”
“I know,” he said, then looked at me again. “But when I saw you in the crowd, I knew it was all I could ever ask for.”
The silence that followed wasn’t heavy. It was full—of shared knowing, of ache and wonder and everything we'd survived to get here.
After a while, I spoke. “You remember when you said I didn’t fill the silence?”
He nodded.
“I think that’s how I knew you are the one. Because the quiet with you never felt empty.”
Lando leaned in then, not for a kiss this time—but to rest his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my skin.
“I love you,” he whispered again.
“I know,” I said, smiling. “I love you too.”
The world spun on. The season had ended. The championship was his. But here, in this small, borrowed sliver of stillness, there was no noise to outrun.
Just two people.
Just their shared quiet.
And the rest of their forever, beginning softly.