I don't wanna save my soul now

And even if it takes a lifetime to learn I'll learn.

[avthakyeon-blog]

{ stitches

[avthakyeon-blog]

@avtelgar:

“my apologies” he said, voice wispy, and turned around. elgar graced the customer with a kind, polite smile as he walked back to the counter, rounding it and moving to face the other male.

Hakyeon waited patiently at the counter, hands still folded in the length of his sleeves around the clothing bag. He was starting to wonder if there was actually any employees to this shop while he waited, craning his neck again to try to see towards the back. The sound of the door opening and closing in the back of the shop was the only sign he had that someone was even in the building before a man came with confident steps out of the dark.

 There was second of surprise that flitted across Hakyeon's face, quickly schooled back into a shy smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. He assumed a tailor wasn't a young job, maybe he expected something akin to some ahjumma running a business out of her home. A heavy feeling of awkwardness settled into the pit of his stomach like a stone, making him suddenly feel smaller in his too big clothes. The insidious part of him couldn't help but compare him to this unknown man – someone handsome, well put together, almost breathtaking. He felt small again, rubbing the fabric of his sleeves between his fingers in a jerky, nervous gesture. "Ah, hello," Hakyeon managed, hands emerging from his sleeves as he tried to push up the heavy, bunching fabric as he fumbled with the bag on the counter. "I'm sorry, I didn't know if you took walk-in's. I couldn't find you in the phone directory to call beforehand…"

 Without the heavy sweater covering his arms, Hakyeon's dark skin seemed stretched thin across bird bones. A careful eye could catch the shine of scarred skin encircling delicate wrists that matched spider web thin scars near his temple as he pushed his bangs back. He noticed the man staring – heavy and searching as if he could take apart each of Hakyeon's pieces and see right through down to his core. Then a flit of something that made Hakyeon almost relax his shoulders lingered in his gaze, it was almost gentle in the heartbeats of the moment before it was broken by the sound of the door. The cold breeze circled around him and he couldn't suppress the shiver, catching him offguard as he looked away for a second as the spell was broken. Perhaps he was seeing things, seeing things in this man's gaze and fantasizing that he was some sort of fairy prince, but no. He was just a man.

 "It's fine," Hakyeon assured, the smile still glittering in his eyes, "I do apologize for…coming in with so much so suddenly. I didn't know if you do alterations? I-I understand if not, or I need to make some appointment."

[avthakyeon-blog]

{ break

@avthyunwoo

There were some days when it was easy for Hakyeon to slip on that mask of normalcy and settle in to his usual routine. As easy as breathing, he could slip on that mask of stability and step out into the world without an issue. Pretending that he has something to go home to every night, acting like he was as average as any member of the faceless crowd. Yet, there were days when that mask was shattered in the bedroom floor, waking from a nightmare that left Hakyeon choking on a scream. Then it seemed like a ticking time bomb was inside his chest, waiting for the one moment where something would crack to light that fuse.

 He hated not working, but he found himself breathing harshly in between isles of books as he stared at labels uncomprehendingly. The text started to look like nothing to him – incomprehensible shapes that he should know, but the pain behind his eyes just worsens when he tries to focus. Frustration welled up until he left work in the early afternoon, temples throbbing in time with the sounds of the streets. All he wanted now was tea and to go home to a quiet apartment, lay on the couch, and pretend he could hold back all the crawling feelings of anxiety that were burrowing their way through his veins.

 He planned on ducking into one shop and be in and out, but he didn't expect the crowd. University students talking loudly in lines on cellphones, baristas chatting about orders, the music over the speakers of the shop. The throbbing came back in force, shuddering through him with the familiar pulse of power behind it. He tried to breathe, tried, failed, and tried again to force air in and out of his lungs and bite back the bile that was rising in his throat. His hands clutched at the counter, words caught in his throat as the barista stared impatiently at him as she asked for order. The murmurs behind him were growing louder, agitated, and Hakyeon couldn't. Just couldn't.

 He bolted for the nearest door.

 He stumbled towards the door, hoping it was the bathroom. Not even caring at this point honestly. He just needed to be away. Away. Away. It was too much. He gripped a shelf as he hunched over, body shaking with a sudden retching from deep in his guts. He was vaguely aware of someone else's presence. Vaguely aware that the pressure behind his eyes finally burst into a wave of palpable energy that came off of him in a wave – enough to knock anyone else sideways.

[avthakyeon-blog]

{ stitches

@avtelgar

There was nothing more comforting to Hakyeon than a schedule, whether it was formal or informal. Schedules, routines, lists with checks next to them on a list of errands. It soothed him, knowing exactly what was next in his day. The less surprise, the better. Surprises threw off everything, change made the foundation shake. When he didn't work, Hakyeon had to fill his day with something. Being idle lead to thinking, thinking lead to memories, and suddenly the apartment would change to white walls.

 Keeping busy was better.

 He dusted every surface in his apartment, scrubbed the floors on his hands and knees until it shined. The scent of bleach still clung in his nostrils. Checking off each item on the list of things to do until there was only one left. He had a heavy bag of new (gently used) clothing that he had to find a tailor for. Coworkers were starting to notice how clothes hung off his wiry frame – too big and bulky for summer weather, untailored and cuffs stepped on beneath worn shoes. It made people concerned, which meant more eyes on him when his hands shook and the air couldn't fill up his lungs fast enough.

 There was a tailoring shop around the corner from his apartment, almost inconspicuous in the brick storefront. He must have walked past it dozens of times to and from work, but never has it caught his attention. The polite thing would be to call it 'quaint' in the cityscape, but ignorable if he hadn't searched for it. Hakyeon hoisted the bag of clothing in his arms, clutching it against his chest as he walked and mumbled softly under his breath as he mentally tried to estimate how much it would cost him all together. He had money, but it bothered him to spend it on himself. He didn't need much of anything, allowing his salary to build in his savings account that he barely touched. Another piece of security in case the worst would happen.

 The door to the tailor's shop had a gentle sounding bell above the frame that rang as he pushed the door open with care. That sudden rush of nerves jumped up as he stood at the counter, putting the clothing bag down. He still didn't see the owner or any employees, even as he craned his neck to look towards the back. He found his voice to raise it slightly to ask, "Hello?"

[avthakyeon-blog]

cha hakyeon -- psychic energy manipulation.

And I will die all alone And when I arrive I won't know anyone

[avthakyeon-blog]

{ ylang-ylang

@avtjonghyun

Hakyeon hadn't worked at the library that long, yet he felt like he carved out his own little niche into the groove of the chair behind the reference desk. He liked the silence of the library – comforting, but heavy like a blanket over the entire building. It was as if even speaking that everything seemed so much more muffled across wood tables or between shelves.  

 Yet, one of the nicest things Hakyeon found about the library was the predictability. He knew when to expect people to come in, what books they would request, where they continued to sit out of habit. It made this outside world seem a little more orderly, which is why it was noticeable when the usual clientele didn't come by. One was a student, he presumed by the numerous notes he took on every law book he requested, Chae Sunhwa was what he reserved the books under. It wasn't that he thought of him as a friend or anything personal like that, but a frequent enough acquaintance in that when he was not there it was noticeable.

 Hakyeon always strived to be appropriate with clientele, professional and minding his own business. The unusual absence, though, had seemed to bother him more than he thought it would. When a week became two, Hakyeon seemed to notice it more – the lack of presence as books he had set aside lapsed and made their way back onto shelves. When Sunhwa returned one afternoon, Hakyeon almost dropped his papers in surprise. A surge of relief to see him bubbled up that Hakyeon immediately felt embarrassed about, worrying about someone he barely even knew.

 It surprised him to approach as Sunhwa was putting down his things, clutching his papers to his chest as he cleared his throat softly. "Sunhwa-ssi," Hakyeon tried to smile as he spoke, "You haven't been here in awhile. Um. I'm sorry I had to take those books off reserve…"

[avthakyeon-blog]

hi. my name is beth. glad to be here. this here is my first character at advent. i’m excited to be here! i can be reached either through tumblr or discord ( giddygeek#0966) and always open for plot, even if there’s no plot that “fits” on hakyeon’s plot page. forging something new and exciting is always appreciated and awesome.

so, i play cha hakyeon. his profile is here and his mutation is here, as well as a plot page. but more bullet points beneath to really touch upon some of hakyeon tl;dr history and other stuff.

hakyeon has no memory of a family. from what he recalls, he had to have been acquired by the compound before he was three years old.

he was raised in a lab setting with a numerical identification with five other similar aged mutants. many surgeries, many scans and tests. he was one of the living guinea pigs to see how internally people changed with growth of mutation.

the only person who could be considered a maternal figure was dr, kwon, who took charge of the kids’ education.

when everyone else developed abilities, hakyeon did not. he was experimented on further to figure out why they couldn’t get him to be an active mutant.

the compound fell in a revolt, hakyeon was let out by dr. kwon. he protected her from the building falling apart with his ability that manifested. he was, roughly, around seventeen at the time.

he was left on his own with dr. kwon funding his ‘identity’ as cha hakyeon. he was real messed up.

hakyeon’s still pretty messed up is basically a textbook example of c-ptsd.

trying really hard to be normal and not...a mess of a human being is really hard, which is why he spends most of his time in a library cause people don’t talk in those. 

[hakyunie]