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A totally unbiased opinion!
Bernard: So, last week when you were having a panic attack...
Tim: Yeah..?
Bernard: I asked if you wanted me to call your Dad, and when you said yes, I went to do so...
Tim: Yeah?
Bernard: WHY do you have SEVERAL people saved as "Dad"?
Tim: What do you mean?
Bernard: . . . Dick was "Dad", Jason was "Toxic Deadbeat Dad", Cassandra was "Dad #2", Stephanie was saved as "Daddy" for some reason I don't wanna know.
Tim: It was—
Bernard: I don't. Wanna know.
Bernard: Damian was saved as "Daddy Issues"?? Kon was saved as "Backup Daddy", Bart was "Backup Daddy #2" Cassie was "Original Daddy"??
Tim: I don't see the issue.
Bernard: Bruce. Was saved. As. "Employer."
Tim:
Bernard:
Tim: Okay, I admit, it looks a certain way.
Bernard: I only figured this all out because I had to go through and call. Every single person. Labeled under. Dad. And Daddy.
Tim:
Bernard: I don't know how to feel about the fact I accidentally called my own phone six times.
AU where timber's date goes normal and tim doesn't think real hard about it until they're a few months in, holding hands and tim's like "!!" and texts the YJ group chat like "hey hypothetical question, what do you do if you find yourself dating a dude?"
and everyone gets his ass because what do you mean "what do you do if you find yourself dating a dude?" did you slip into him?
Tim's like "I don't know what happened! We met up for dinner and we kept meeting up and he started staying the night and we hold hands and cuddle and share a blanket but I just thought he was super tactile like me. and we haven't talked about it so it's still very possible that sharing a drink right now is platonic"
so of course everyone is telling him to go in for a kiss while tim is like "i don't even know if he likes boys!"
meanwhile bernard is like "I didn't think I would get this far, but he hasn't made up a girlfriend yet so if we keep on track, we'll be kissing by the time we're 40. so long as he survives every rogue in gotham wanting this twink obliterated"
Did we all collectively agree that Tim chooses to have a public feud with Red Robin as a way to cover his identity?
___
Reporter, pushing a microphone on RR: What are your thoughts on Tim Wayne's recent kidnapping?
Red Robin, deadpan: He's an asshole cosplaying a feral racoon and whiny bitch.
-Later that day-
Tim, watching the news: Well fuck you too *flips off the TV*
Batfam: *concerned*
___
Bernard, who's publicly in a relationship with Timothy Drake-Wayne, was caught kissing RR on a rooftop. Kon-El, who the world thinks definitely has a thing with RR, was seen carrying Tim back to a penthouse at night.
This leads Gotham city to believe that Tim and RR stole eachother's boyfriend. Thus fuelling another war between RR and Tim on twitter.
It didn't help when a picture of Bernard and Superboy having a date was posted online.
___
Tim: *requested and funded a Red Robin joint to be built in Gotham city *
A video of RR staring at the building offended and distained from across the street went viral.
"Batman birthed all his Robin's" but Dick gaslit himself (and othere) into believing it was true to some extent.
—
Dick, eight years old, staring a reporter in the eye: What?
Reporter: Rumor has it that Bruce Wayne and Batman have been seen together.
Dick: Well DUH!
Dick: Batman gave birth to me :)
Bruce, choking on his drink in the background:
—
Love TimBernKon bc usually ships have opposing dynamics but with those guys it’s just
Bernard, trying to make a shopping list for the holidays, pausing: . . . Tim, how old is Damian?
Tim: Uh... I think like, nine? Wait... Maybe ten? Let me call Dick.
Dick, on the phone, toothbrush in his mouth still: Thirteen? Probably? Wait... When did he move to Gotham?
Tim: Uh... Two years ago, I think?
Dick: Hm... I'm adding Jason, one sec.
Jason, shooting people: What the HELL do you two want?!
Tim: How old is Damian??
Jason: Fuck if I know! Isn't he like, eight?!
Tim: I thought he was about that age?
Bernard, in the background: He went on a date last week.
Tim: Yeah. A playdate. Right?
Jason: Fuck this. Add Babs, she keeps track of this shit!
Barbara: I'm trying to hack the Pentagon! What do you three want!?
Dick: How old is Damian?!
Barbara: . . . Twelve?
Cass, in the background: Isn't he thirteen?
Stephanie, also in the background: No, Babs is right, twelve.
Tim: That doesn't sound right.
Jason: I'm telling you, he's eight!
Dick: Thirteen is the most realistic!
Bernard, sighing, pulling out his phone and texting Damian:
Bernard: He's fifteen.
Dick:
Jason:
Tim:
Babs:
Cass:
Steph:
Tim: Now THAT'S incorrect!
Muffled agreement...
I love Tim Drake and his absurd amount of love interests
Sorry if I didnt put your fave one up here there's only so much room on the canvas :D
Gotham Rogues hate - or at least have history with - the Bat, his string of Robins and extended allies. That is known. That overgrown cosplayer and his gaggle of twerps have been knocking out goons, wrecking shipments and foiling plans since they squeezed themselves into those damn spandex costumes.
But other rogues from outside of Gotham? They better not touch their Bat or his Robins. Imagine if you will:
Lex Luthor arriving into Gotham and cornering the Bat only for Harley Quinn to show up, kneecap Luthor with her hammer, nod politely to Bats and walk off into the night like nothing happened.
Nightwing has been shot in the side, he's dragging himself to safety before Deathstroke can find him. A car pulls up, door pops open, it's Don Falcone, "get in kid".
Red Hood is caught with no bullets, empty holsters Lady Shiva closing in and he's down some alley, where a door opens and it's Two Face, jerking his head for Jason to get his ass inside.
Robin is about to get taken out by a sniper sent by the League of Assassins, the Joker drops an anvil on their nest because he's the only one who kills Robins in this city.
Dr Psycho is targetting Red Robin and Killer Croc bursts out of the sewers, snapping him up like the "fucking mosasaurus in Jurassic World" according to Tim later on.
Rogues hate the Bat and his brats but if anybody is going to take them out, it isn't going to be some hicks from Metropolis or that pile of shit they call Bludhaven.
Lady Shiva, Talia al Ghul two of some of the
most dangerous woman on planet earth, both
on a race to see who can pawn off their kid
on this unsuspecting Man
Please DC bring back my sheylas I need it so bad
Just two kids on bikes.
I figured that Tim, as a skateboarder, would emphasize the value of protective equipment. Steph normally wears a helmet afaik, but maybe she likes to annoy him.
In other news, I realized I'm a little too invested in Stephanie Brown for someone who has read very few of her comics. Obviously, the only solution is to read more of her comics. Recommendations, anyone?
Autism? In my Twitter AU?
It's more likely than you think!
I picked poor Robin clean
Duke appreciation, let him interact with his siblings more often dc 🙏
@numberonedukethomasapologist
Impulse :)
I’m completely normal about him