A War Against Boredom

And So It Has Been Declared

[awaragainstboredom]

Stream of Consciousness 3

Stream of Consciousness 3

    Kip up and let the lost not hang so loose with the wind blowing between the crease of the mind’s eye. Never-have-I-ever is not legit for an interview. Lost in the winds of the time with happenstance rhyme scheming of a better simile not stuck in the time loops i did it again. Malfeasance and discord were one of the good things about Bert and his wondrous good time metaphorized armor that was…

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[awaragainstboredom]

Psychic Hibernation

The Long Hiatus

I can say that I definitely been rather derelict in updating any posts, but I have been trying to figure out what exactly is this blog to me. It is very precious outlet of expression for me, but I’ve lost what direction that I trying to steer towards. What looked like more avoidance, and disregard, was actually more along the lines of a mental fog, or some gray matter muck keeping whatever…

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[obscurevideogames]

the future - Zupapa! (SNK - Neo Geo - 2001)

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You ever look at the background of a video game especially one that has so much in it and wonder about the lives of the people that exist in it. Like what is their whole deal? Is taht a man trapped in an electronic prison, or is it the traffic operator? What is the speed limit of the cars that are driving by underneath? How many people can those trains carry?

[awaragainstboredom]

Things look grim for the heroes!!

[subject-28]

Akira (1988) / Cel / 240mm x 350mm

The door to the Capsules’ favourite dive - Hirukiya Bar.

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“You’re just a kid!”

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Coffee frand!!

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My weeping huevos divorciados

[awaragainstboredom]

Child of the night 🎃

[milonogiannis]

[awaragainstboredom]

I’m pretty sure these were all Blockbuster rentals for me back in the day.

[awaragainstboredom]

Shine

Shine   It’s high flying movement, bright lights and revelry Emotional rivalry Because last week’s appearance Came with interference.   In this match-up did such quips Escape from our lips Which bring us to grip Each other digging our fingertips We make a break that leaves me on the ropes, But I bounce back accelerated by hopes Only to get two feet to the chest Which moves the blood under my…

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[awaragainstboredom]

[HP]

[HP]   Persistent is my existence My existence is persistent Burning hot forge creates cold steel Held high the curtains truncate the treasure reveal Real is my feel As I need to take this heal   To move forward   And approach the carpet viciously Yet deliciously As I make it down the hall efficiently And in a clutch I grab a bunch I hold down a breath real tight And I move quick as it feels so…

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[awaragainstboredom]

Writer’s Block: The RPG Method Part 2

I continue on with Rota’s background by adding in the other NPCs that have played an important role in her upbringing. I kind of had to go back an touch up on more with everyone of them. Though there are some like her father Beolf, that I haven’t done yet, because his is a more complicated tale, and also a lot of the plot with a lot of the characters in Rota’s backstory revolve around Beolf. At some point I will have to finish what I came up for with him. The same goes for Tsubame, Ilsa’s adventuring and life partner. I’ve always like the Avarial elves, and I came up with a clan that migrated to the eastern kingdom of Shou, where they were seen another form of Tengu, or Hengeyokai, and not as elves. Things to think about. Anyways, here you go:

Rota’s friends and family character background

Mother: Herja Grendelstadt   Class: Barbarian\Race: Tiefling (rumored to be descended from a Balor)\Age :(is only for wine) Ht: 6’7 and ¾\Wt:(Of her boot on your head if you ask this question)

Herja is brash, bold, loud and outspoken. Though she does come off as crass, she actually kind hearted and is ready to aid those she cares about when in need. Has no tolerance for idleness and laziness. She is quick to get to the point. She was really distant and even rougher around the edges in the beginning, being that she was raised by her father in the mountains and her later years by the man Thorin who killed her father in a duel (Thorin left her the farm before he passed away, because he owed it to her, and he knew his own two children didn’t want to keep it).

Of course when she became closer to her adventuring party, she started to warm up to people, but in her own brutish sort of way. Beolf, “The skald who never shuts up” would eventually marry and settle down with was a major element in her change. She shows everyone that she has moved on after his death, but is curious about how her husband really died.

Herja cares deeply for Rota, and wants her to be strong, so that she may be able to fend for herself and protect others. This is why she put her through a bunch of crazy training routines and made her work hard on the farm, from age 5 -12 and then at 18 after her first year of apprenticeship under Dragnar (in which she kicked her ass in a duel sent her back to Dragnar and scolded him for “shitty training”).

She also knows what it’s like to see your father die right in front of your eyes, and wants Rota to find strength inside herself with that tragedy. She waits to see her daughter again to see how her training has gone, and also she likes her, she guesses…

She also has two adopted siblings, who are Thorin’s children and are also tieflings. Olaf, who left the farm to become a sailor, and Kara, who left to learn the magic arts (rumors say she was a wizard school dropout, but is a powerful magic user).

Godfather: Touchstone (Real name unknown, or has forgotten) \Race: Human Class: Wizard/Hedonist\Age: (Whatever you want me to be…) \Height 5’9 Wt: 140

The genius (and handsome) wizard Touchstone was Rota’s Beolf’s closest (and handsomest) friend since he started adventuring. They met each other in Waterdarvia, after Touchstone got in a bind from gambling with some ruffians. Beolf , starving and lacking funds saw that Touchstone had plenty of coin(and plenty of good looks), and was able to fool the thugs and get away with(the fetching) Touchstone. In the end, he was going to use (the sexy) Touchstone to take his cash for deescalating the situation, but was up front with him about it. But (the striking)Touchstone knew that was his plan, and was looking for someone else to distract them while he would cast a spell unnoticed to get out of the situation. The opportunist saw the opportunist, and thus their (beautiful, but remember I am the prettiest) friendship began.

He took care of Rota when she was sent off to Hippocampus Scale at age 12 to be safe from Jarl Falken and his cult, and to teach her the magic she had always wanted to learn (a more fervent request seeing she wanted to find out what magic killed her father). Touchstone saw that Beolf always wanted to nurture her mind, so he made sure that she had plenty of books that He saw that she was really adept at learning spell formulas and theory (she learned it a lot faster than those who had been learning it at an earlier age in life), but the fact that she could not connect to mana meant she couldn’t go any further in Mage School.

However he didn’t give up on encouraging Rota to look at magic in different ways. And he had her tutor wizards that had issues with script or language barrier problems when it came to reading formulas and theory, and also tutored languages for those that needed it. He figured that her doing this she was able to make friends and be seen as reliable to students who were having a hard time in the Academy.

Another strength he saw in her was magic combat, and though she couldn’t cast spells, she was asked to come in to be the aggressor/protector in the lessons, and in turn learned a good deal on how to handle wizards straight ahead, and understanding what type of spell they might be casting themselves or for her. Touchstone also saw this as a good opportunity to boost her confidence against the students that bullied her, by understanding real life tactics (and a bit of physical dominance).

He saw there was a little spark inside of her that would allow her to be able to use magic, and thought that perhaps continuing with physical training might ignite that out of her releasing the magic power within her. And she thus at age 17 she was sent to learn under Dragnar, who could also help look after her and the book.

Touchstone is a master spell caster and a savant in understanding spells in formula and in action. He is also a hedonist, and probably would be considered to be among the Pantheon of Arch-mages. That is if he actually wouldn’t be running around embracing major amounts of debauchery. How he is an instructor at Hippocampus Scale is beyond a lot of people, but his lessons have a 100% success rate (so he says).

He is incredibly sardonic, acerbic, a big fan of gallows humor, a narcissist, and always has wine in hand. Despite all that, he is a caring individual, it’s just how he deals with things in life. He is very protective of Rota, and makes sure that he strengthens her mind to handle the trials of life (though he regrets he wasn’t able to help her with that awkward personality and anger she has as much as he wanted to).

He doesn’t feel bad that he gave her the book that her father was coveting from the cult, because with eyes on him at Hippocampus Scale, it was better off with her as she went to train under Dragnar. On a side note, Touchstone regrets getting her addicted to the “Darkblade Chronicles”, an epic series written by Val Ros’help about Sehl, a brooding Warrior Mage Half Moon Elf Damphir with magical longswords that are possessed by his dead siblings, who are also sorcerers.  

Weapon Master: Dragnar Fafnirson Class: Fighter\Race: Human (a child of a dragon blooded sorcerer)\Age: 48\Ht: 6’5

Rota’s master in her weapons training. The grizzled mountain of a man is also a close friend to Herja, Beolf and Touchstone. He is the son of heroes who were disappointed in him turning down learning magic to take up the sword. He was the reluctant leader of their adventuring party and would get into heated arguments with Herja about battle tactics being the brains of the operation. Dragnar is all about timing and patience, and understanding one’s terrain when fighting the enemy. They were also in an on and off relationship, before Herja started having feelings for Beolf. This caused Beolf and him to become rivals for Herja’s affection, but in the end she chose the bard. Dragnar, though bitter about them being together, was supportive of them and was always there for them. He even helped on the farm and gave gifts on the holidays.

When Touchstone couldn’t teach Rota anymore, he sent her to learn with him. Dragnar saw that her fighting style is wild like her mother’s, which made him work to reign in her rage and fight with more control. Though he also teaches her that you can’t be to controlled in fighting and must find a flow, and there is nothing wrong with cockiness in a fight as long as it remains in the “flow” and you can use it to psyche out your opponents.  

Dragnar believes: “Swordplay without swagger is like rain without clouds. Sure, it’s possible, but only because the wind brought it from a cloud in the first place. Just like that, your swagger will always be there in your swordwork no matter how distant you are to it.” Rota laughs at this advice, every time she thinks about it, and dubbed the “Dragnar Style” as: “Sword and Swagger”.

He sent Rota to meet her mother in a remote area, so that she could test out her daughter’s new fighting prowess after a year of training her. Herja won in small matter of time, and chewed out Dragnar for his “shitty training”. Ashamed, Dragnar spent the next 5 years training her more, and sent her out on her own to gain experience and hopefully will be ready to take on her mother and prove that she is strong enough to protect herself.

Five years after Beolf died, He and Herja had started seeing each other again,  on and off. Dragnar loves Herja, but knows that she only sees it as a physical relationship, because of Beolf. This is why he always gives out a long sigh when deep in thought. Rota, actually found out about it when she accidentally walked in on them making out, but was unnoticed. Touchstone knew before Rota and calls Dragnar “Your Mom’s Special Sword”.

The Dragnar Style is a known Two Weapon style ranging from an assortment of weapons, dragon wing like cross slashes and being adept at throwing them.

Secret Godparent: Ilsa Hildrsdottir Class: Ranger\Race: Dwarf\Age:??\Ht: 4’5\Wt: 90 lbs.

The cool and collective Ilsa. The ranger of the party, who originally left because of her partner and lover Tsubame died. Ilsa was a bounty hunter and Tsubame was an occult investigator. They worked mostly on occult based cases, and on one of their cases they clashed with Dragnar, Herja, Beolf, and Touchstone (Beolf called his group “The Spoilers”, much to his party’s dismay). Ilsa and Tsubame were bitter rivals with the other group, and would every once in a while run into each other for the same job. Eventually on a mission they ended up uniting their forces, which led to she and Tsubame becoming a part of the team, thus  making them a force to be reckoned with.

In the situation involving “The Order of the Unsung Rhyme”, summoning something from beyond that almost devoured the entire party, Tsubame called upon the power of her patron and sacrificed herself in order to save the rest of the party from death. After she died, the party was broken up, but not as much as Ilsa, who left the group because she was devastated and wished she went with Tsubame. A few years after Ilsa left the party, they disbanded, retired and went on with their lives. Ilsa had only come back to the world for Rota’s birth (in secret with Beolf and Herja), and Beolf’s funeral. Beolf’s death angered her even more and tempered her vow of vengeance against “The Order of the Unsung Rhyme”.

Ilsa has been the secondary form of insurance to protect Rota from within the shadows, finding out who would be a threat and who works for the Jarl and his cult.  Many a silent arrow shot, and many a throat has been slit, though Rota will never know. And in some way this acts as vengeance for Tsubame and Beolf.

When Rota went to train with Dragnar, Ilsa assisted her in Archery lessons, and speed. She did what she could to help her with walking silently, but just gave up. She taught her to read and speak Dwarven. Despite her gruff exterior, she is a very talkative person, and an avid reader, which is why she and Beolf got along so well. She and Rota go on and on about books they read, and she too is a fan of the “Darkblade Chronicles”, her favorite character is “Hard Target” the Dwarven Sniper Ranger with her bow, “Chill-bane” which is made from the bone of a frost giant’s spine. When they talk books, she sees a lot of Beolf in Rota. She also is a fan of sweets. She once almost killed Touchstone for eating her pie (This incident gave birth to Beolf song a called: The Pie Thief of the White Whale).

Though Touchstone and Dragnar don’t know it, but if anything was to happen to Herja and Touchstone, she would be the one to take care of Rota until she was old enough to be on her own.

[awaragainstboredom]

Writer’s Block: The RPG Method Part 1

I role play a lot. Like I’m currently a player character in 4 games, and I run my own campaign, and working on the world for my own homebrew campaign. This is also done in regularity on a weekly basis, which is completely different from back in the day we were lucky to get a few weekly sessions, and reconvene months later in the same campaign, only to never get back to the game again. 

Things like family, work, depression, etc. would end up putting those games on the back-burner, which was really a death flag for a campaign. I’ve made so many characters for so many role playing systems, just to never play as them ever again.

I honestly never thought I would become one of those guys who plays tabletop rpgs as much as I do. I mean, in the past when someone would share with me that they were in two D&D campaigns, and was part of a LARP over the weekend I would think it was ridiculous and laugh at their fervor for wanting to be in that many games. Well, the joke’s on me now.

However to my defense, this isn’t mostly about escapism. Okay, not to say that it isn’t, but I took on this many games to help out with my writer’s block. I see role playing games as a different way to explore narrative. 

You not only act out your characters, but you have to overcome challenges with a game of chance. And even though the person who is running the game and helping direct you through the story, that dice roll, whether it passes or fails the challenge (or check, if your nasty), effects the tale that is being woven, and you played an active part in it. That’s really amazing!

I’ve also read that a good number of fantasy novels that have originated from role playing campaigns. George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones series, and Scott Lynch’s Gentleman Bastard books are couple of examples. Game of Thrones was born from a Roman rpg, and Gentleman Bastard’s main character Locke Lamora was based upon a character Lynch made for D&D (which to my delight, I learned was also based on the “treasure hunter”, Locke Cole from Final Fantasy VI).

This was enough to influence me to try and do the same. Universe building is hard for those who prefer to write in such a manner, because it’s hard to balance out how much detail do I want to write about said world and not get obsessed with it and never actually finish it, or at least that has been my experience. 

My goal here is to document as much as I can about things that I have made for my games in the way of world creation, and characters for other peoples games. I know some Dungeon Masters don’t want a novel for character backgrounds, so give them a short and concise one, and you can go and expand on it more on your own.

Or maybe you can just make it as you go along in the game that you are playing in currently. As an example for character background here is mine for my D&D character Rota.

                                                  ***

                                     Rota Grendelstadt

Rota, the magic academy drop-out turned sellsword, ventures forth to find knowledge in all things, and the true path of a warrior. Hailing from the cold north in the fishing town of Grendelstadt (located close to Neverwinter), she stands at 6 foot 5, with a lean muscular build, moonlight-pale skin, with silver hair in a fringe style cut and silver eyes to match. And if that doesn’t make her stand out, then perhaps the fact that she is a tiefling without a tail (Her mother and her father were the same, as well as most tieflings of Grendelstadt). Though tall, and muscular she is surprisingly bookish and introverted. She is brash, quick-tempered, prone to violence, fiery, socially challenged, but has a good heart, quick on her feet, tenacious, dependable, and has an weird natural charisma that draws people to her.

She is highly knowledgeable in magic theory and formulae, however she cannot connect to mana in order to cast spells. She has spent a lot her time honing her physical skills and researching why she in not able to use magic. She is working with a theory that she heard about when one exceeds their mental and physical limits, perhaps they can open a channel that can connect to the magical tapestry.

Growing up in a family of adventurers definitely was not the most normal of upbringings. Even with the simple life on a farm, Rota’s mother Herja wanted her to be as strong as she is and would put her through rigorous training that even the militia of Grendelstadt wouldn’t go through. And her father Beolf, a skald, would be off travelling to do research for his book of races and culture of the world. Because of this she hardly saw her father, but Beolf would make sure that when he was home he would bring her back books.

Beolf was rather awkward when he would see his daughter, and the only things that would break the silence between the two were to talk about books, and her mother’s crazy training routine. Though Beolf loved her, and tried his best (that he could muster) to be a parent to Rota, his trips back were too short and very infrequent, which caused their relationship to be a distant one.  

The dramatic change that shaped Rota into who she is now begins with the death of her father, Beolf. She spent the rest of her life being raised by her mother, uncle and various friends of the family. It wasn’t a normal childhood, being that she had to flee for her safety and train to become a warrior to be strong enough to defend herself and help others. It was a kind of splintered family unit with a bunch of troubled, dysfunctional adventurers. And though they all mean well in their way of bringing Rota up, they struggle with their own egos and misconceptions of what makes one a hero, and is there really such a thing?

Rota’s  father was killed in a fight with his cousin, over the spoils from an adventure that her father had owed to the cousin. And it was within the laws of their country for those who have been wronged by their neighbor or kinsmen, by settling things out in a physical challenge. Her father, Beolf and their cousin, Thorfinn chose to have a wrestling match as their way of settling their differences, while the Jarl, Falken was to oversee the fight and uphold the law.

Of course it was all an act to misdirect the Falken, to make him think that he and Thorfinn were on the outs. And by with Beolf creating a schism in the Grendelstadt family, the gamble was to perhaps draw the attention of the jarl to try pull Thorfinn on his side, allowing him to gain Falken’s trust and be the inside man. The jarl was pursuing Beolf and his comrades who had found the underground site for the earl’s humanoid smuggling ring that was being overseen by The Order of the Unspoken Rhyme (which Falken is a member of).

The Order of the Unspoken Rhyme is connected to the Cult of the Dragon, and handles underworld business for them making them an enemy of Beolf and his friends, who have vowed to take down the Order and their allies at any turn. Upon dismantling the slave trade, they also came upon treasure that Falken thought would be well hidden from anyone but himself. However the quick eyes of the bard Beolf found it. And within the cache of treasure was an ancient tome most dangerous, and Beolf knew he had to find a safe place for it.

He took all of the treasure and sent it to three different locations and had cut a map into 6 pieces to be found in order to find the treasure, and secretly sent the tome to his wizard friend and adventuring partner, Touchstone, who keeps it locked away hidden in the wizards’ academy, Hippocampus Scale, that the earl would focus on searching for the other treasures. Foolishly, death was the last thing that Beolf was prepared for in his plan. Thorfinn broke Beolf’s ribs which went directly into his lungs. He could have been healed, but Falken didn’t allow any outside potions, and only his healers at the fight. It was said he also might have had some responsibility in the “accident”.

At the age of 9, Rota saw her father die before her eyes, but did not shed a tear for him. Not because she was trying to make herself seem strong in front of the jarl and his men - she just didn’t know how.

Rota’s mother Herja, uncle Sigurd, and cousin Thorfinn were  devastated by these events and knew that things would become tough for them in Grendelstadt. Though being the tough battle-hardened adventurers they were, they knew that they would be alright.  However, as the years went by the concern was growing that Rota would be used as some sort of bargaining chip to find the treasure. the Grendelstadt family knew they had to send Rota off before things would get really dire.

At the age 12  it was decided that she were to be sent away from her town of Grendelstadt to attend a wizard’s academy, Hippocampus Scale and learn to become a wizard like she always wanted to be (Thorfinn pays for her tuition to account for the death of a kinsmen, as per the law of their country), while being under the watchful eye of her godfather, the human wizard Touchstone (who’s equally sassy as he is powerful).

She learns that she does have amazing aptitude for understanding magic formulas and theory. However when it comes to practice, she is terrible at actually manifesting the spell. Not because she doesn’t understand it, but because her connection to the source of mana is weak. All the spells would just fizzle right in front of her.

And although her grades were high in every other course of study except for spell casting, she became the object of ridicule among her peers (which would end in episodes of violence, mostly by her). Whenever there were spell casting exercises she would spend most of her time reading, and doing physical training that she learned from her warrior mother, who pushed her not only in farm work, but also learning how to fight with weapons.

Later on the headmaster of the Hippocampus Scale, upon Touchstone’s suggestion, wanted her help out with what they called “Battle Training”, or “Real Life Combat”, in which she would be the physical combat participant for her peers, so they would learn how to use spells effectively in combat. Normally they have hired swords stand in for this, but they thought it would be interesting to have someone who could understand spellcraft, formulas, and theory, and apply them to fighting against a mage, and see how they would react to it. Her popularity rose in both positive and negative ways after this, but she was known not to be a simple challenge to her rivals anymore.

She was going take the job of becoming a researcher in Hippocampus Scale, and then maybe some way she could find out how to connect with the source of mana. Touchstone, though proud of her accomplishments, saw that she was only making things harder on herself in her pursuit learning how to cast spells and felt that she need to find another path to become what she wanted.

And sent her off to become an apprentice to one of he and her father’s other adventuring comrades, the master swordsman, Dragnar Fafnirson. He thought perhaps that her connection to mana will come from a battle-borne soul. However before he sent her off from Hippocampus Scale, he gave her the ancient tome that her father had found to protect it (He was beginning to see the Order’s shadow reach out to his academy).

After her training with Dragnar, she was pitted against Herja, to test her strength. Her mother quickly dispatched Rota, and sent her back to continue her training, but not after scolding Dragnar first. And though she won’t tell Rota this, she did get some good hits on her mother, which excited her blood to see what potential her daughter has in the way of battle. With a few more years of learning under Dragnar, her master sent her out to get some experience, by sending her out in the world to test her mettle.

Other notes:

She would get in trouble with her mother, Herja when she was reading instead of doing farm work, or physical training. She learned how to workout and read at the same time because of this. And when she is not fighting, she is never without a book. She also likes to visit libraries of each city she comes across. Rota also cannot stand wizards who have semi-useful spells, and thinks it is a waste. She is also very arrogant when it comes to talking with spell casters.

She was estranged with her father Beolf, and spent most of her early years being raised by her mother and uncle. Beolf was thought to be a gallivanting bard, getting caught in women and wine, and was just a deadbeat father (or at least how those in Grendelstadt saw him), he really did care about his daughter and would bring her books whenever he came back to town.

She really didn’t know how to react after his death, because she felt she didn’t know him really well, except for the fact that he was the nice guy that gave her books and would share his love of them with her. It was after his death that she learned he was actually trying to save the world from evil. And it was only years later did her tears come after reading a poem that he dedicated to her in the signed copy of the book that he wrote.

[awaragainstboredom]

Recently I’ve undergoing a series of personal trials, and this is the song that has been constantly playing in the far recesses of the my mind. Enough to just be part of my official soundtrack. I love Grizzly Bear, because their melancholy music always seems to make me feel... Well, something that is hard describe, so the best way I can articulate it is an ethereal and heartfelt. And it helps me float on through. Also the fact that it seems to make me think of the crossroads that I constantly come across even when I think I’ve gone forward, I feel like I’ve looped back to the same path that I have been down before. Do I take a right this time, or do I take a left and hope that I continue in a new thread of pathways that keep me from coming back to that familiar crossroads?  

[awaragainstboredom]

New Developments

Currently, I haven’t been posting on anything on my main blog, because I’ve been switching everything out to new host site (which is my own), so that I can have full control on customizing the blog’s look. I’ve been looking up new themes and getting acquainted with ftp clients again. 

I also felt that the wordpress theme was a bit dated, seeing that I’ve been using the same one for 3 or 4 years now. While it used to be easy to direct the CSS to do what I wanted it to do, it’s now kind of an issue, and the theme isn’t friendly when it comes to structures to paragraphs and spacing. It just resets the way that it wants to making my line structure look to stuck together. 

However, I’ve made it work, and used it as artistic composition. However, it shouldn’t be an issue, even after I’ve inserted CSS commands for it to specifically be set up the way that I want it to. 

I’ve also feel that maybe it’s time to retire the old LEGO brick header I made years ago, and try to draw or paint one like I did with my old blog: wasteface. I like it, but if I’m going through my own personal transition, then I need to make a change to the site as well. It doesn’t feel like, and hasn’t for a long while now. 

As for a solution for my posts until the look and user interface is updated, I will make my posts on the tumblr blog.

-Seph

[awaragainstboredom]

The Homebound Homunculus

Canvas realities hampering travesties and homemade desperation on the near misses. I imbibe myself with ridiculousness and touch on my mental tapestries. A cowl to hide my intentions. Luckily is not the same as lucky. Fear is not the same as being scared. Complete is not the same as being squared. I attach at the hip with unknown intentions, Because I do not know what I invoke as I lean away from…

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[awaragainstboredom]

4 AM

      Feels like avoidance no matter how I chalk it up, Cant tell if I’m really here nor there can’t care, If the fallacies that perpetuate have no voice to carry on wayward sons. Failed reality smells of rancid cream, From a thick viscous heart, Gelatinous caul stretched over infantile rage. Can’t take cantankerous dichotomies, Heresies last longer than the actual tenets of a faith that i lost,…

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