the mia/darren/chris' birthday thing
I'm literally only coming off hiatus for one post because this issue has raged out of all control in the past two days, and I'm just going to do a blanket response to my Inbox. I'm kind of hoping I can throw something into the situation that might be a bit calming, but idk.
Before that though I want to throw my arms around all of you guys and say thankyouthankyou for your messages. I can't even tell you how much they help. I miss being here so much, and I'm still hoping at some point to be able to come back. Life is what it is right now, and that's not particularly good. But it will get there (:
So I've just got this one big fat post to drop and then I've got to check out again. I'm just having to be very strict with myself right now and not even answer messages, because my moods and living situation are so up-and-down that I don't want to mess up this blog with it all. Trust me it's for the best, and I'm really really sorry for having to drop conversations with you guys so abruptly.
On to my response about this whole Mia/Darren/Chris' birthday party furore. Please skip if you're avoiding the madness!
Alright...I'm really hoping to do fair by everyone involved in this but it's such a mess of a situation right now. Hopefully I'll pull it off. I don't hate anyone involved, so that should work in my favor?
Yes, it is true that Darren and Mia seem to be bringing their relationship more into the public eye. It's also true that only people who have made great efforts to research Mia (or met her at hers or Darren's shows) will have known many details about her before now. So it's easy to understand that those who haven't met her or gone upwards of ten pages in a google search will be surprised that she's suddenly been with Darren at almost all of his events lately. Because the truth is that she only occasionally appeared with him before this, and the secrecy she and Darren imposed on themselves about her means that most fans will hardly have seen her at all. His tag still has people who are asking if he has a girlfriend, that's how little she's been known up till now.
So I think it's important to mention that whatever the reason for the secrecy about Mia up until maybe a few months ago, it's really done nothing but create unnecessary tension and confusion. (Which should calm down again, but right now it seems to be causing nothing but trouble) Of course it was done with the best intentions, but in a way it's most definitely backfired. Unless they intended to keep the secret many years into the future (when Darren's fame had settled down), it was only going to make things more complicated when she did start becoming more of a presence to the majority of his fans. Being known to fans along the way would have still brought out certain jealous fans, but it would have largely meant that fans accepted her as part of Darren's pre-Glee world. Again, very few Darren fans will hunt down details about someone that they aren't even sure he's dating. No one is being cruel to her by not taking an active interest - they just didn't know until recently that they were supposed to be interested in her.
Equally, many fans will not see why they should have to suddenly include this new person in their blogging about Darren. Some fans would rather just stan Darren and not have to include Mia in everything and see her in everything (which the last few days has apparently been the case, or so I'm being told in my Inbox). For example, think of when crisscolferers were begged to stop posting content in Chris' and Darren's personal tags. It got understandably annoying that you couldn't go into either tag for a while there without having to see the other guy. It's the same principle. No one is being horrible if they happen to not like Chris or Darren or Mia or Starkid - if they simply don't want it in their lives and they're not being dicks about it, then they should be allowed to do so.
And if you had a great experience with Mia, then that's great. But some (not a huge number, just some) people haven't and not only are some of them not immature or simply think Darren should marry them or Chris, but part of their bitterness is that they were prepared to like Darren's girlfriend simply for being in his life. So having her interrupt them talking to Darren or pull him away - even if she felt she was doing it in Darren's best interests - was a bitter moment for them. It's as immature to label everyone who says they didn't have a great experience with her as stupid, as it is for people who don't know her to hate her for no reason.
No, Mia is not the absolute most sweetest human being to walk the planet nor is she a manipulative horrid bitch working her wicked ways on an unsuspecting Darren. She's just a person, and from my vantage point it seems like she has good days with fans, and bad days with them. Anyone deluding themselves that she's a saint or a devil is equally biased because of their own wishes to be so...when the truth is that she just sounds human.
There is one part of the Mia stanning that needs to stop before it gathers anymore speed though, and why I've decided to come out of hiatus just for this post. That's the notion going around now that Mia "made" or strongly assisted Darren's career and rise to fame. That is patently untrue, even if the only evidence available were that he had started his career long before he met her. But far beyond that is the fact that Darren is an exceptionally talented human being with incredible drive and focus, and has been for a very long time. No one made this guy - he's an original and he made himself. thank. you.
He's had the support of his own amazing family and his no-less-amazing Starkid family. His world didn't suddenly do an about-face into amazingness just because he started dating someone. If you're still in any doubts as to why this is so insulting a concept, imagine if Darren stans were suddenly making claims that he was instrumental in 'making' Mia's career for her. These are two adults with separate lives; they're not "twins" or their "other half". They're whole on their own. Just because Mia is a nice lady does not make her exactly like Darren, and vice versa. There really is no reason to say you have to like one person if you like the other - that's just silly talk, and ignores the fact that they are two unique people.
Sure, Mia could easily have helped Darren out with something. Just as right now, she is probably working by going to industry events with Darren. But to say that either of them are where they are because of each other is absurd and 100% untrue. (Sorry, but I'm just really against the idea that a human being isn't fully themselves until they meet another human being. That's called co-dependency and it isn't nice to attribute to either of them.)
As for the crisscolfer of it all, nothing has changed. If anything, perhaps Darren being more publicly with a woman will calm crisscolfer shipping back into the nice, peaceful ship it once was - where we all loved watching two perfectly matched dorks and their miracle-gro best friendship, and some of us collectively fantasized about what it would be like if they did stuff in bed together because oh wow that's hot.
The truth has always been that Chris and Darren are two amazing men who both fanboyed over each other before they had even met, have openly adored each other since then and cross-paths in pretty much every aspect of their lives and careers. They're two stars in their own part of the sky who twinkle Star Wars trivia at each other and share bitch faces when someone downgrades their television ship. Stephen Fry started following them both on Twitter at the same time, ffs. Their friendship has been sanctified by the highest power, imho. Who they are both dating has zero effect on that relationship, for better or worse.
There's no point debating superlatives about Mia because she's no more a natural addition to Darren's life than he is to hers. If you love her, fine. If you don't or you don't care, that's also fine. Don't force people to blog about her and hear about her in Darren's tag and fandom, and don't hate on her or put hate in her tag. Don't feel butthurt about crisscolfering, because they are the most beautiful, magical friendship fucking ever and we get to see them playing boyfriends on our screens. Everything's fine, everything's cool.
I have no idea if this will be seen or do any good, but consider it my contribution. And sorry for all the tags, especially after my comment above - it's only because this thing is so widespread right now.
