stupid asshole

Instagram: awkwardaustin Snapchat: not2kewl

[aintnosuchthingastoothick]

“Nah son, get outta here!” 😩😭

[mitski-miyawakis]

[sunfortune]

the planets aren’t in gatorade anymore but my life still sucks????

[slimetony]

I keep a loaded water pistol by the toilet at the ready in case an intruder tries to get silly during my bathroom time

[awkwardaustin609-blog]

#Easter walks at #SeasideHeights with my beautiful fiancé @ariellee_mariee. Starting new traditions feels nice.

[bonerfart]

this website is so wild, i just saw someone post a picture of a guy holding pills with the caption “african doctor claims he has cured HIV” and there is a huge chain post of “reblog this could save lives” and “this is huge news” comments but there is no link or reference or article just a picture of a doctor and a headline 

[awkwardaustin609-blog]

Those armpits STANK! @ariellee_mariee please shower or sleep with your arms down.

[awkwardaustin609-blog]

She ALWAYS sleeps like this. Girl is weird. @ariellee_mariee

[awkwardaustin609-blog]

And now I'm #dead #theswanson #fartattack

[awkwardaustin609-blog]

@ariellee_mariee is away, so I'm having what I call "The Swanson". It consists of steak that marinated in olive oil, freshly minced garlic, rosemary and cilantro, bacon wrapped spicy Italian sausage, homemade mashed potatoes with minced cilantro, bacon and a little more garlic. I'm pretty full but I'm gonna power through it. #theswanson #whenthefianceisaway #millergenuinedraft

[just-shower-thoughts]

My dog gets mad when I lightly blow towards his face; but is perfectly fine with sticking his head out the window of a car traveling 40mph looking like an aviator.

[safelyendangered]

i am dog

webtoon / website / facebook / twitter / patreon

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

This comic omg💕

[frozenbysabrinaclaudio-deactiva]

[iraffiruse]

I’ve hit the motherload

[bodyslidex2]

Send help

[bob-belcher]

[snorlaxatives]

people who are like “if you’re not obsessed with the person you’re dating then what the fuck are you doing????” need to relax……. i don’t think obsession is an indication of a good relationship nor is it healthy… that’s like the basis of so many abusive relationships why are people on twitter always like this

[franeurysm]

[ruinedchildhood]

When I see someone open a pack of gum