All My Fault
Fandom: The Flash.
Pairing: Barry Allen x Reader.
Summary: Y/N is caught in the middle of a robbery composed by the Trickster. The Flash, who she doesn’t know is her best friend Barry, shows up to stop him. Y/N is hurt, and Barry is by her side during her recovery, blaming himself for what happened.
Warnings: None.
Words: 2,930
A/N: This is my very first imagine, so sorry if it sucks. Feedback is always appreciated, so please tell me what you think! Don’t forget to request more!
- - - - - - - - - -
Under normal circumstances you would have spoken your mind, but with a gun against your head and tape covering your mouth, it was slightly harder to accomplish that task.
“Let her go.” The Flash said, cautiously taking a few steps forward.
“Uh-uh!” The Trickster exclaimed, the priceless piece of art he had taken tucked under his arm. “Come any closer, and I’ll shoot your pretty little girlfriend.”
‘Girlfriend? What is he talking about?’ You thought.
“You see, Flash, it doesn’t take a genius, though I am one, to figure out that you care for this girl. It just so happens whenever she’s in trouble you tend to have more, let’s say, passion, when saving the day. So, either I can walk down those stairs with this painting, or she can walk up the stairs to heaven.” A haunted laugh slid from his lips.
The Scarlet Speedster stood still for a moment, staring with wide eyes. If he tried to stop the Trickster, there was a slim chance you would survive. You realized that he couldn’t let this psycho steal a canvas worth over one million dollars, but was he really willing to risk your life to save a piece of art? You feared the answer was yes. The Flash didn’t know you. He had no real reason to save you other than to reduce the casualty count for the night. The more likely option for him was to go after the painting, where you would inevitably die. Even you agreed he couldn’t let this maniac loose. He’d just reek more havoc. You were going to die tonight.
Dread flooded your veins. The feeling rushed in like a tsunami, completely overtaking you. Your bruises throbbed, blood ran down your face and limbs from all the cuts. The Trickster had set off a bomb that sent debris and glass everywhere, and took you hostage. Closing your eyes, you waited for the gunshot, for the bullet to penetrate your skull and leave you sprawled out on the ground, lifeless. Images raced through your mind, memories. You saw your mother, reading you your favorite bedtime story when you were younger. You saw your dad, taking you to see your very first movie. You saw Barry.
Barry. The person you trusted more that anyone else in the entire world. The adorable idiot who you went on random ice cream runs with. The fantastic nerd who geeked out about science whenever he got the chance. The amazing friend who offered you a shoulder to cry on and chased any and all forbidding demons away, no matter what the circumstance. Barry Allen, your best friend.
Yet another wave of images were thrust into your mind. Barry’s brilliant smile, his tousled brown hair, his beautiful green eyes. The feeling of his skin lingered on yours, the smell of fresh air and the rush of adrenaline you felt every time you were with him. Sometimes, you’d even see flashes of color when he was around. Radiant reds and gorgeous yellows. There was never a dull moment with him around. The fact was, he was the only person who stuck with you through thick and thin, the only one who could make you smile during tough times.
He had always been so supportive, comforting you whenever you needed a friend or even just the presence of another person. He used to hold you close to him whenever you cried, stroke your hair gently and whisper in your ear, “It’s okay. Everything is gonna be okay.” The words pulsed in your skull and through your entire body. They spread warmth and reassurance to every bone you had. Oh, how you wished Barry was there to comfort you at that moment. He was your ray of sunshine whenever times got dark. He was your flashlight, leading you home every time you were lost.
A surge of emotions spiraled in your brain, not only of fear or anguish, but of love. Love for your parents, love for your friends, but mostly… love for Barry. That’s when it hit you. You were in love with Barry Allen.
And now he would never know.
Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, snapping you back into reality. Stifled sobs seeped through your lips and your body slouched in a position that signaled defeat. You tried your best not to imagine your funeral, or Barry attending it. Or even worse, him not attending it. Life was a game, and you somehow ended up losing.
“Aw, is little Ms. Lovely Locks losing her poise? That’s too bad, I like em’ feisty!” The Trickster exclaimed. He grabbed a fist full of your hair and yanked your head back. You yelped in pain, but the noise was muffled by the tape covering your mouth.
“No, Stop! Please, just don’t hurt her.” The speedster pleaded. His voice was brittle, cracking as he shouted. He also seemed to be in a trance just before the words left his lips. He was remembering something as well, but you obviously had no way of knowing what could be going on in his head. He looked sad, from what you could tell, in distress. There was something about his voice too, the way he begged for your life. You couldn’t quite identify it. It almost sounded like he truly cared for you. That was impossible though. You didn’t even know the man behind the mask, and he didn’t know you.
The Trickster started whistling some random tune that popped into his head. He was becoming impatient. “What’s it gonna be, Flash?”
You could hear the speedster sigh heavily, his eyes darting from you to the Trickster. It sounded like he was having trouble breathing, like you were. You struggled to swallow shallow breaths, almost all of them out of reach from your lungs. The Flash’s eyes made contact with yours, even though it was hard to see, mainly because all the lights had been blown up and it was nighttime. What you saw in them was pure terror. His hands were shaking, and not like when he purposely vibrated. They were actually trembling in fear. Then, the Flash did the last thing you thought he would do. He took a step backward.
“Ha ha!” The Trickster guffawed, waggling his eyebrows. Man, this guy really was insane. But there was something in his voice that suggested he wasn’t finished. “Just incase you get any ideas about coming after me…” You didn’t know what happened, just that it happened fast. All you could feel was an agonizing pain coming from your left shoulder. Your entire body was screaming from the torture it was enduring, and you collapsed. Jesse James had shot you. The Flash ran over to you, picking you up in his arms. Both of your breaths were rapid, both eyes wide. All sounds were replaced with a high pitched ringing noise, except for one. His voice.
“It’s okay. Everything is gonna be okay.” He said gently, though the look on his face suggested otherwise. He looked truly horrified. Pain overtook you, and your surroundings faded into nothingness.
- - - - - - - - - -
“Is she going to be okay? I need to know! I can’t live without her!” A distant voice shouted, overflowing with concern. You recognized it instantly, even though it was vague.
“Calm down, Barry. Thankfully, none of the injuries were fatal. She should wake up anytime now.” Another one chimed. You guessed it was your friend Caitlin, since it had more of a feminine tone to it. Barry had been spending a lot of his time at S.T.A.R. Labs and with Caitlin. You never thought much of it, but now you were worried. Were they together?
Heels clicked across the floor as Caitlin left, but you didn’t hear Barry move. You wanted more than anything to open you eyes, to see him, to let him know you really were going to be alright, but you couldn’t. It was almost like your eyes were glued shut. You couldn’t move either. You’re body was immobile. You could still smell and feel, though. The scent of fresh air was in the room, only confirming that Barry was in fact there. A few more seconds of your time were spent attempting to move, continuously trying to signify you were conscious. Well, at least semi-conscious. You tried wiggling your fingers and toes, turning your head, but nothing seemed to be working. If you could have, you would’ve sighed in defeat.
Suddenly, you felt something warm meet your fingers. Barry was holding your hand. His grip was tight, like he was hanging on for dear life. Maybe he really was. He did say he couldn’t live without you. The though of that, of him caring so much about you, made you content. It was nice knowing someone valued you. He started speaking.
“Y/N, I really hope you can hear me,” He started. His voice was low and raspy, like it was afraid to be known.
’I can,’ You tried to reassure him, thought it only was only declared in your mind. Barry continued.
“I don’t know what I would do with myself if you didn’t wake up.” He admitted. “I’d probably die inside. You’re my best friend, Y/N. I wouldn’t last two seconds in this world without you.” He clutched your hand harder, if that was even possible. “I couldn’t save you today. I couldn’t defend the one thing that matters most to me in the world. How am I supposed to go on knowing that? That I can’t protect you?” His voice was growing louder, shaky and unsteady. He was about to cry, scolding himself for something he had no control over.
You would have given anything to tell him that it was going to be okay, to offer him the support he always gave you. Guilt clouded your brain. Barry had done so many things for you, and not just good deeds like taking care of you when you were sick or helping you move when you got your new apartment. He gave you so much more. He gave you confidence. He gave you ambition. He gave you a home. And where were you when he needed someone to guide him through his labyrinth of emotions? Lying unconscious.
“I was right there, too, but I just couldn’t risk you getting hurt. And look where we are now. You still got hurt, and it’s all my fault.” You summoned all your strength trying to wake up, trying to tell him it wasn’t his fault and that no matter what you would never leave his side, but the universe had other plans. “I want more than anything else in the whole wide world to be able to protect you and keep you out of harms way, but I guess even with super speed I can’t do that.”
’Oh my god. My best friend is the Flash.’ That’s why his words sounded so familiar to you.
“You know, just before I stepped back at the museum, I was remembering something. I was remembering the first time you came over to my house when we were kids, and some of the famous all-nighters we pulled in high school, cramming for exams.” He gave a small laugh, but it’s temporary joy did not last long. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault!” Tears were definitely streaming down his face now. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was feeling. If the roles were reversed you probably wouldn’t even be able to get one word out without having a mental breakdown.
He tried to get control of his breathing, and once he finally had he spoke in a whisper. “You’re everything to me, Y/N. I-I love you. I’m in love with you.” You felt Barry lay his head on his forearm, his body heaving from his sobs. Your heart swelled with sadness as his tears trickled down your skin. That was enough. His love for you gave you the strength to open your eyes and speak.
“Barry…” You croaked.
Barry’s head jolted upward as soon as he heard your voice. His mouth was agape, dumbstruck. He had trouble finding the right words. “Y/N? Y/N! Oh my god. You’re okay!” His entire face lit up as he finally grasped the fact that you were awake and he cupped yours with his hands. You never thought you’d be so happy to see his gorgeous green eyes. Complete bliss struck you like a hurricane, and it circulated to ever corner of your body. You then realized you were in the cortex of the old S.T.A.R. Labs building. They must have been using it as the Flash’s headquarters. That explained why he was there so often.
Barry’s newly conjured smile faded as he continued speaking. “This was never supposed to happen. You never should have been mixed up in all of that. I’m so sorry.” He confessed gravely.
There’s that guilt you felt earlier. “I know you are, and it’s okay. I’m sorry, too. You’ve always been there for me and all I ever do is make you cry uncontrollably.”
A wistful look overtook his features. “You have given me something I never thought would be possible after my mom died. Something even Iris could never give me.” His eyes filled with a longing that had never been there before, or maybe it had and you just never noticed. “You gave me a reason to live.”
You felt your stomach jump up into your throat, cheeks burning, no doubt. Barry’s smile finally returned and the two of you gazed into each others eyes. Suddenly, after a few more moments of complete bliss, he broke the silence. He looked timid. “Uh… You didn’t happen to hear what I said while you were unconscious, did you?” He asked shyly, his ears and neck simultaneously turning pink as he did so.
“I might of heard all of it.” You said, grinning.
Barry’s eyes went wide and he face turned red as a tomato. “Oh god-”
“It’s okay, Barry.” You soothed him. Anyone could tell he was about to go on one of his stuttering rampages filled with random words and mumbled sentences, though they were adorable you weren’t really in the mood for one. “I love you too.”
“Really?” He asked in disbelief.
“Really.” You laughed. All Barry could do was smile.
Your smirk vanished as you recalled something. Even through all the joy being exchanged between the two of you, something was still bothering you, picking at the back of your brain. Biting your lip, you asked him the question. ”Why didn’t you tell me you were the Flash?”
Barry sighed. His hand released yours, which you forgot he was squeezing, to rub the back of his neck. You missed the feeling of his fingers latching onto yours, even if you were only without the sensation a couple seconds. “I care about you, Y/N.” He started, staring in your eyes. “I couldn’t let you get involved. That would put you in danger and as you may have heard, I can’t handle even the thought of losing you. I love you too much to risk you getting hurt.”
You gave him a small nod, showing you understood, even though you were perfectly capable of handling yourself, you didn’t want to start an argument. Not now. You were finally able to move the rest of your limbs so you decided to try and sit up, which was a huge mistake. Pain emerged from your shoulder, where the Trickster shot you. You winced and gave out a small yelp as you boosted yourself onto your elbows.
Barry quickly reached for your shoulders and took hold of them, he gently pushed you back onto your pillow. “No way.” He said. “You need to lay down. I’ll come back later to check on you, but for now, you need to rest.” He leaned down and gave you a kiss on the forehead, lingering slightly. When he pulled back, he was only a few inches from your face. You could almost read his mind. He thought you were the most beautiful girl on the planet. He couldn’t help himself. Time froze. His eyes asked from permission though what happened next was inevitable. He crashed his lips on yours, and you didn’t hesitate to kiss back. Shivers shot down your back and you almost went numb. His hand cupped your cheek and yours to his shoulder, trying to pull him closer. You never realized how much you actually wanted to be with him.
The kiss was passionate, it was the release of years of hidden feelings and emotions, an explosion so huge it was impossible to contain. The entire world disappeared. It was only you and Barry, no one else.
Barry pulled away, grinning like an idiot. You could only imagine you looked the same. Both of you remained still, inches away, stunned that what you both had been craving for so long had finally come to pass. Barry broke the silence by awkwardly clearing his throat.
“Um, well, I guess I’ll see you later than?” He asked. All you were able to do was nod. You were still in shock. Barry laughed slightly, and so did you. He left you with a wink as he walked toward the exit of the Cortex. Before he turned the corner he gave one of his victory punches in the air and yelled, “Yeah!”
“I saw that!” You shouted to him, laughing.
You couldn’t believe you had kissed Barry Allen, your best friend.
