SORRY LAST ONE, but i don’t like the people using this opportunity to talk down on riize or just follow a hate train, calling him a dozen and saying how they’ve secretly never liked him or riize in general, or i even saw people trying to put him and taro against each other? or trying to find clips to prove that he’s been racist all along, like his black shadow name or his bubble pfp of him when he was younger
i also seen all that, and it honestly just all goes back to when seunghan was getting attacked and how that all created ot3 riize and stuff. i remember around that time, so many leaks were posted of riize predebut and a bunch of rumors that got out of hand and it seems like people are using this as the time to try and bring it back to light even though a lot of the things were like "omg sohee is gay" like what ?? 😭😭
and the thing about eunseok's pfp and nickname 'black shadow', i feel like he's explained the name before. but the way that i take it is that it refers to him being "stone like", similar to being just someone's shadow, he's barely there. that's why his representative emoji is a rock. i personally see nothing wrong with the name, but a good handful of people on twt see the opposite. idk about his bbl pfp but the one he has on weverse i saw people talking about it as well. it's nothing but him when he was little wearing a wig. again, i see nothing wrong with it, how many people have worn a wig that resembles an afro?? let's be real.
just because someone does one thing, doesn't mean that EVERYTHING they have ever done was a hint to what has happened now. i don't get picking him apart.
i do get that his apology was... def something, he could have definitely elaborated more instead of being so bland in his response. it's sad for me to say but i don't know if i'll ever see him in a normal way, at least not for a while. maybe if he shows actual improvement and that he's learned from this.
a lot of people who have already accepted his apology and are taking it as an honest mistake seem to be slightly and indirectly attacking those who are iffy about it. "this proves you never loved him." i think loving someone includes holding them accountable and wanting them to better themselves, but they can't do that if you always let them off easy.
no matter what really happened, i hope he applies what everyone is saying to himself.
i’m honestly embarrassed and disappointed 😭 i never would of expected riize to have a scandal like this especially after everything that happened, they just starting gaining back their international popularity too. him also deleting it immediately after cause he realized what he said is crazy, cause there were other messages after the photo. eunseok isn’t even my main bias but i have wayyyy more things of him up in my room compared to sohee (my bias) and i just heavy sigh when i see him, again im SO embarrassed and i can’t even imagine how the directly effected community feels.
i feel like you just described it in words i struggled to find when my friends asked me how i felt about it, i am also embarrassed as much as i am disappointed.
even though im not as into kpop as i was before, i still heavily keep up with riize and eunseok to me was just that one idol yk?and to answer this ask and ur second one, he's been my ult ult since their debut. it feels like at this point, my whole kpop world revolves around him, that's how much i liked him. people are talking about how it doesn't shock them that something like this happened with him specifically and that shocked me honestly. following him for so long and it might be just me, but he's never given off any sort of weird vibe.
but it's so crazy to see him go from being caught with a vape, which imo is like nothing, to saying a derogatory word like that. and i'm not going to lie, i laughed off the whole vape thing because it's just not that serious to me. he's old enough but that also crosses over to this situation. he is old enough!!!! to know better.
there's so much talk about how people see koreans use the word and some even ask their korean family and friends, but answer is just different from the last i feel like. some say it's equivalent to a slur and the rest say it's not. i saw someone compare it to how the word monkey isn't offensive unless used against a southeast asian person, while that correlates to how some people described the word eunseok used, i feel like it shouldn't compare??? monkey is an actual animal yk
note i love writing things inspired by music so ofc this one is inspired by a song i love so much ╰(*´︶`*)╯ 🤍
your families basement had been yours since you were in the seventh grade, back when it still smelt like new upholstery instead of popcorn butter and old energy drinks. now, it is deeply rutted, molded precisely into the shape of yours and eunseok’s bodies.
you were draped across it now, two halves of one, well-worn duo. you were struggling through a tedious history chapter, legs tangled with his as he scrolled on his phone, one arm loosely hugging around your shoulders—a position requiring zero thought—to you, it was equivalent to background noise.
this is how you guys have been sitting together for way over a decade now.
eunseok had moved into the house just down the street from yours when you were six. he was silent, the vast look on his face as he stood on the sidewalk with a stuffed animal in hand.
it took a few stolen cookies and a long game of hide and seek for you guys to become ‘us’.
growing up not just near each other, but you grew into each other. he was the keeper of your secrets like how you were of his.
he was the shoulder you could lean on and the automatic plus-one to every terrible family gathering.
you're seniors in highschool now, navigating through college applications and the sudden quickening pace of the future together, but nothing has changed.
nothing, except eunseok's heart.
when did the shift happen? you don't really know but maybe it wasn't a shift at all but a slow, diastrophic movement that had always been happening, only now strong enough for him to finally recognize it.
it started subtly. eunseok stopped seeing you as just ‘you’. he started breaking you up into pieces to better understand you.
tonight, it was about the loose strand of hair that kept falling across your cheek while studying.
sighing with frustration, you absentmindedly blow the strand of hair away just for it to sit right back where it had been before. eunseok notices this. he paused his scrolling to attend to you. tightening his arm around you, pulling you closer against his chest.
his gaze lingering, following the line of your neck, and the way that your hair rests perfectly on the curve of it. tracing the outside of your ear with his thumb, a small gesture so familiar that you don't even register it. but for eunseok, it was sudden. it was like electricity jolting from him to you. a dangerous reminder that the fabric separating platonic intimacy from desire was tissue thin.
he cleared his throat and looked away, keeping his arm there. back to his phone, back to scrolling but the moment was echoing in his mind.
eunseok was in love with you. it was the simple, yet brutal truth that hit him with a force stronger than an oncoming train like he was forced to stand still on the tracks before it.
but he can't say it. he won't say it.
the reason being what he considers a core memory. a sharp and cold one, one that he tried to keep filed away but he is always being reminded of it.
“why can't guys just be good friends without wanting anything more? it's nice having someone who just gets you, you know? like you, eunseok! you're really like the brother i never had.”
brother—that word had created a wall—not a flimsy one like it was made of cardboard, but a solid wall shielding what you considered safe and a familiar comfort. one that you had built without realizing and eunseok knew that trying to scale it would result in the destruction of everything that you two were together. so, imagine if he tried putting dynamite to that wall.. that's his worst fear.
eunseok had reclassified his feelings then. now, it wasn't love; it was admiration. it wasn't pining; it was appreciation.
expect, it really wasn't.
-
“you've been staring at that one paragraph for like thirty minutes.” he murmured, voice low and rumbling against your hair.
“it’s boring,” you complained, sliding the book away from you. “let's watch something instead!”
adjusting your position, swinging your legs onto his lap. leaning your back on the armrest. exposing your messiness to him and he just settled his hand on your shins.
a casual and grounding type of contact, but your level of casualness with him was like a knife turning into his gut.
“you've got a smudge of ink right here,” he said, reaching to brush the pad of his thumb across your cheek. it was an intimate movement, one that spoke of deep, shared history together but he knew to you, it felt different than it did to him.
his eyes dropped, taking in the line of your jaw and the shape your lips made while speaking, talking about some random details about the movie you had put on the tv; he found you quite mesmerizing.
it was no secret that eunseok found you attractive—he'd always been a physically and verbally expressive person, often commenting on things like your outfit or your hair.
“seriously, your hair looks really good today. like, super soft,” he said, tone completely even. he wasn't trying to show emotion, like he was bored.
eunseok was taught to act tough, to be the role he was born to play. he wondered about when he showed 'too much' emotion, he was conditioned to feel like it makes him less of a man,
“thanks, seok. i tried to clean up a bit for once.”
he just smiled, genuinely. trying not to reach the aching in his chest. an easy grin that expresses the admiration of attraction, maxing out his extent of risk-taking. just letting you know that he notices you, physically, but the meaning behind the compliments would remain locked away within him.
he kept the attraction surface-level, filtered behind what was seen as just some friendly teasing. eunseok thought that if he just showed the attraction and not the yearning, he'd be able to keep you close to him forever.
you had decided on an old horror movie, and just ten minutes in, you had already started to drift asleep. somewhere along the way, while scrolling through movies, you had flipped around, and now your head is leaning heavy on eunseok's shoulder,
and he didn't dare to move even though the position was starting to cramp his neck. continuing to watch the screen, but his attention was entirely on the weight of the presence right beside him.
feeling your breath on his collarbone, he looked down at your face. beautiful and peaceful, but in sheer darkness. the painful consequence of his choices became absolute.
what would it be like? he wondered.
what would it be like to be able to lean down and truly kiss you goodnight right now? not an awkward, friendly kiss on the cheek you'd give each other on days like your birthday. but a real, possessive kiss. what would it be like to hold your hand in crowded places not as a buddy, but as something that's earned? to be the person you confided in about the future you're building together and not the future you'd eventually be building with someone else.
that thought, was the worst of all. the thought of you getting to do everything he wanted to do with you, with someone else. the thought of someone else being everything he wants to be to you.
he knew with a certainty that sent chills down his spine, that you are destined to fall in love with someone who wasn't him. and when that day comes, he knows he'll be the first one you go running to, eager to introduce to the lucky guy to get that “big brother approval”.
it grew, a slow and quiet devastation.
eunseok adjusts his position slightly, carefully tucking you into the blanket. he was the gaurdian of your beautiful, complicated relationship and his role determined his survival, even if it meant sacrificing his true happiness for yours.
leaning his head back against the cushion, and right before he closed his eyes, the only thing that was on his mind: he dreamt that you felt it too
letting the sound of the screams from the tv fade into the background as he drifted into sleep.
some of you is better than none of you, he thought.
those words were a vow that whispered into the darkness in the air that stayed between you two. he had you beside him, warm and trusting, tethered to him by years of memories.
it was the only way eunseok knew how to love you—in comfortable, agonizing moments, forever wondering what it's like to be loved by you.
so, he stayed perfectly still, enduring the torture of holding you so close but still remaining out of reach
you met neighbor!anton during your early years of highschool. he was new in town and luckyly for him, you were attending the school he had enrolled to. unlucky for you though because you hated making new friends. what was the need to meet new people when you've been with your group for a few years now? it just felt unnecessary.
neighbor!anton felt something between you two so he never gave up. catching you on the way to the bus stop just down the street from your houses, sitting in the closest seat to you. trying to make small talk—on the way to school, in the lunch line, when the teachers were late to class, even in between bells when you're both rushing to your next shared class—anywhere, if he got the chance.
neighbor!anton was the one who finally got you to open up to the idea of letting new people into your world. maybe it was out of annoyance but you gave him props for being persistent.
neighbor!anton showed you stuff that you never thought you'd experience but things that felt essential once you did them. like going on your first rollercoaster. your friends were all too busy to spend the day at an amusement park so it became something you expected to never do. anton changed that. he took you and made sure you had an amazing time.
you and neighbor!anton continued to grow closer as the years went by. you became friends with his friends and he did the same with yours. he showed you that change is okay, even holding you closer when it scared you and because of that, he was now the person you entrusted the most.
as the end of highschool approached, neighbor!anton wanted to get you something special to celebrate, but he couldn't figure out what exactly was good enough to give you.
the two of you made some of the most beautiful memories since you met and he's felt the way he sees you change over time. while graduation is a week away, neighbor!anton is sure you feel the same way he does. if he's right, then he thought nothing could be better than confessing his feelings as you throw your caps into the air during the ceremony.
as expected, you said yes and the guy who was once known as just your neighbor, became your everything.
anton was your first to many things: your first confession, first date, the first time you ever felt so jealous that it mad you mad—first everything—and you wouldn't have it any other way.
thank you for everything you've done for me nct mark. i will cherish your kind words throughout the years and i will hold them close to my heart so i can continue to grow.
i will support you through what ever it is that comes next in your journey.
i went to clear some notifications from my old blog and saw that my last post on there was something mark had posted on insta at the time.
it's just so odd to me, thinking of nct without mark. it's so bittersweet because he's truly played such an important role in the ten years he's been an idol and with the group. he was my first ult bias and he always will be.
it's sad to see him leave behind the place i met him and the place that he started from but it's nice to see him grow. on the brighter side of things, i am so proud of him. this is one of those beautiful things in life where you know you've done what you can. you've done what you were supposed to and you made a great impact. being able to move onto better things is something not everyone can do and a lot wish they could. nct is a major part of his life and he's finally comfortable enough to take another step.
it makes sense in a way, considering how he presents himself on the internet and to his fans. the way he went about this might not be the ideal way to some people but i think it happened in a way that's very him. from what i can gather just through the screen, he's been thinking and talking to them about this for some time now. they made the decision and kept it private until the last show. i'm happy that they got to live in the moment and feel real emotions. he just seems to be someone who would always be looking for ways to grow and better his life. if this is how he thinks he can do it, then i'm proud of him.
it's okay to be sad but i feel like we have to think about how it was probably scary for him to make a decision like this, as it is a big change. all we can do is support him because he's doing what he thinks is best for him.
now he can finally get some well deserved rest ❤️🩹
✦ ݁˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ONE LAST DANCE .ᐟ
──── prince sion (ft. crown prince wonbin) ୨୧
genre 𖹭 ANGST !! doomed lovers
words 𖹭 2889
cw 𖹭 YEAAARNER sion !!! kissing , emotional infidelity , sion crying on his knees , making out
ryu says ⊹ ࣪ ˖ so this was originally a 10k fic.. but <3 guess who's super smart and forgot to back up her files and got her computer corrupted >.< silly me :3
i lwk gave up on rewriting so this is a shorter version, the premise remains the same hehe :3 i love love looovee yearner sion ok
pls pls give this lots of love if u like :c this fic is my baby ok
written especially for @awnezz !! love u
thirty years ago, when the war had painted the borderlands red for a decade, a treaty was signed in the great hall of your ancestors. written with dark ink on parchment, words so cold and pricise that it might have well been carved into stone. it ended the bloodshed. it bound two kingdoms together. and it decreed, that the firstborn princess of jaechong would one day marry the firstborn prince of seungnam
you were born twelve years later, with your fate sealed before you drew your first breath.
today, at the age of twentyfive, you stand in your childhood home in the gown you were always meant to wear, waiting to walk down an aisle that was planned before you existed. crown prince wonbin will be there at the altar, dutiful, noble and everything a future king should be. his father trusts him with this alliance, with the future of both kingdoms. his father trusts him with everything.
but prince sion? sion is the second son, the spare. the one his father calls foolish, scatterbrained and too soft-hearted to be trusted with anything of consequence. sion, who has loved you since you were ten years old, when you talked to him at the gala. sion, who has spent fifteen years proving himself worthy of a fate that was never his to claim.
only a handful of people know about the love that grew in the spaces between treaties and decrees,, the servants who looked the other way, the ladies in waiting who learned to hold their tongues. the two of you, who learned to love secretly in stolen moments because it was the only way you could love at all.
today, the treaty comes due. and today, you become wonbin's bride.
( present . almost an hour before the official ceremony begins )
the grand hall of your father's castle had never felt so small, so suffocating, as if caging you inside. every polished stone, every flower arrangement, every gilded banner celebrating the union of your kingdom with that of your allies—it all pressed in on prince sion like a physical weight. laughter and music echoed from the gathering outside, a celebration of a peace he was paying for with the only thing he'd ever truly wanted in his life.
he had watched you from the edge of the crowd for a while, watched the way your hand rested in the crook of his brother's arm, prince wonbin, stoic and composed as ever. he always knew how to play his part well. the conquering hero, finally claiming the princess who would unite their lands. sion's chest ached with a hollow, burning fury he had no right to feel. wonbin was his brother. a good man. a just ruler. everything a prince should be.
everything sion was not, at least in the eyes of his father.
his chance to get closer to you came when wonbin was pulled away by a contingent of your father's advisors, their voices a low murmur of discussions about politics and treaties and everything sion wasn't interested in. you stood for a moment, a figure of breathtaking sorrow in your gown of white silver and blue, before retreating towards the quieter corridors that led to the bridal chambers. sion followed behind you, his footsteps as silent as snow.
he found you in the antechamber, a smaller room off from the main bridal suite where you'd been dressed and prepared earlier. the door was slightly ajar, and he saw you standing before a tall mirror with your back to him. your ladies in waiting too had stepped out, their chatter fading down the hall. for once that day, you were left alone.
he pushed the door open, the soft creak making you stiffen. your eyes met his in the reflection. for a moment, neither of you spoke. the air was thick with everything unsaid, years of stolen glances and secret smiles and the quiet, devastating knowledge of a love that was never meant to be.
he saw the way your own eyes glistened, the way your hands clutched the heavy skirts of your gown. and something inside him, the last vestige of his composure, shattered.
he stepped forward, the distance between you feeling like an eternity. then, with a grace that belied the trembling in his limbs, sion bowed before you. a deep, formal bow, the kind he'd been taught as a child. but his hand was outstretched, palm up, an offering.
" may i have this dance, my princess? "
his voice was a ragged whisper, cracking on the last word, his tears threatening to fall. he kept his gaze fixed on the floor, on the intricate embroidery of your gown's hem, on the tips of his own polished boots. he couldn't look at you. if he looked at you, he knew he would break entirely.
he looked at you with eyes full of desperation, with hurt, with want, with him knowing this would be the last time he got to call you his princess.
you didn't move. he heard your breath catch, a small, wounded sound.
" sion… " your voice was a broken thing, a mirror of his own agony.
" please, " he whispered, the word falling from his lips like a prayer. his hand remained outstretched, unwavering despite the tremor. " just this once. one dance. for all the ones we never got to have. "
he heard the soft rustle of your skirts, the hesitant step of your slippered feet. then, the cool, delicate touch of your fingers settling in his palm. the contact was a jolt of lightning through his veins, a searing pain and a desperate relief all at once.
he rose slowly, his hand trembling just slightly around yours, and the sight of you -- gowned in the colours of your kingdom , your hair half-unpinned from whatever elaborate style the maids had wrestled it into, your face a canvas of grief and love.. oh this shattered something irrevocable inside him
no music played, and the distant strains of the celebration in the courtyard were muffled, irrelevant. but he drew you into his arms anyway, one hand finding your waist, the other still clasping your fingers. your body curving into his as if it had always belonged there, as if the past fifteen years had been leading to this single moment
and then, slowly, he began to move
there was no orchestra, no waltz, no carefully choreographed steps,, it was just the two of you, swaying in the silence of the antechamber, your heels against the hardwood floors, his breath warm against your temple. he led you in a slow, aimless circle, your bodies pressed so close there was no telling where he ended and you began. it was not a dance for anyone to witness. it was a dance for you and him alone, for all the dances you never got to have, for all the moments stolen by duty and kingdoms and the cruel machinery of politics.
his forehead dropped to yours. his breath came in ragged, uneven pulls, mingling with yours in the small space between your lips.
and in his agony, sion's thoughts started wandering to places they shouldn't have. 'she's not his, yet' his inner voice screamed. 'do something do something do something!!! '
" you're not his yet, not officially. not until the vows are spoken, not until— " he whispered, his voice raw, scraped clean of all the careful restraint he had worn like armor till now
" sion… " your voice broke on his name, your free hand coming up to cup his jaw, your thumb tracing the tear that had finally slipped down his cheek. " love, we… we can't… "
" i know. " he pressed closer, his arm tightening around your waist until there was no space left between you, until he could feel the frantic beat of your heart against his own. " i know we can't. i know this changes nothing. i know that in an hour, you'll walk down that aisle and become his wife and i'll have to stand there and watch and pretend that i'm not .. that .. this "
sion couldn't finish. the words lodged in his throat, like thorns piercing him.
you pulled back just enough to look at him, and what he saw in your eyes made his breath catch. there was no hesitation there. no fear. only the same desperate, aching want that was consuming him whole.
" then don't pretend, " you whispered. " not yet. not here. not with me. "
his feet slowed and hands slid from your waist to your back, pulling you flush against him, and you let him.
you let him stop moving entirely, let him stand there in the middle of the room with you wrapped in his arms, your head against his chest, his cheek pressed in your hair.
" i should have asked for this years ago, " he said, his voice muffled. " every ball, every celebration, every time i watched someone else lead you onto the floor,, i should have been the one, it should have been me.. "
" you couldn't love, dont .. dont blame yourself " your fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket. " they would have known. everyone would have seen "
" let them " he pulled back, cupping your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours with a desperation that made your heart crack " let, them see, let them know, let them say whatever they want—i don't care. i have never cared, not when it came to you "
something inside you gave way. your hands came up to cover his, pressing his palms harder against your cheeks, as if you could fuse yourself to him through sheer force of wanting.
" dance with me " you whispered. " just a little longer "
he nodded, unable to speak, and you began to move again. slower this time. as if the very air had thickened around you, as if time itself was stretching, trying to give himself and you more of these precious, stolen seconds.
your hands found their way to his shoulders, your fingers threading into the hair at the nape of his neck. his arms wrapped around your waist, your hips swaying together in silence, and for a moment—just a moment—you let yourself pretend.
pretend that this was your wedding night.
pretend that the vows waiting in the courtyard were meant for him.
pretend that the life stretching out before you was one of quiet mornings filled with a love that didn't have to hide
he leaned down, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. " i have loved you since i was five years old, " he breathed " since you handed me a stolen tart and told me tarts make everything better, and i will love you until i am old and gray and can no longer remember my own name, i will love you in this life and every life after, do you understand? "
a sob caught in your throat. " sion.. "
" you are the only thing i have ever been certain of, " he continued, his voice breaking on every word. " not my place in the court, not my father's approval, not the future that was written for me before i was born, just you, just us, just this.."
he pulled back to look at you, and his face was a wreck of love and grief, tears still wet on his cheeks, his lips parted, his eyes blazing with something that morphed into hope and despair at the same time
" kiss me, " you whispered, torn from the deepest part of you, from the part that had been his since you were ten years old and had given him half your tart because you wanted to make friends with the pretty boy at the gala
sion didn't hesitate this time, not for a second.
he kissed you like a man starved of air, like you were the only breath left in the world. his hands slid into your hair, knocking loose more pins, letting it fall in around your shoulders. your fingers gripped the lapels of his jacket, pulling him closer, closer, until there was no space left, until you were pressed together from chest to hip, until the only thing you could feel was him him him
it was neither gentle nor careful.
it was the culmination of fifteen years of wanting, of stolen glances and secret letters and moonlit gardens where he had held you and let you go every time
he kissed you like he was trying to memorize the taste of you, the shape of your mouth, the way your lips slotted perfectly against his, the small sounds you made when his teeth grazed your lower lip
your back met the wall, and he followed, caging you in with his arms, in his body, in his desperate consuming love
his hands roamed—your waist, your hips, the bare curve of your shoulders where your gown had slipped. every touch felt electric.
every press of his lips was like a promise, a promise to love you till eternity and you answered each one with a fervor that matched his own.
" we shouldn't, " you gasped against his mouth, reality catching upto you just for a brief second, even as your legs wrapped around his waist, even as your fingers tangled in his hair and pulled.
" i know. " he kissed the corner of your mouth, your jaw, the column of your throat. " i know, i know, i know— "
his mouth found the hollow beneath your ear, and you shuddered, a small, desperate sound escaping your lips. his hands gripped your thighs, hitching you higher against the wall, and you let him, you let him because you were not bound to someone else yet, and for this one, stolen moment, you could pretend that the rest of the world didn't exist.
he pulled back just enough to look at you. your hair was loose, your lips swollen, your gown rumpled beyond repair. you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
he sank to his knees.
" sion.. "
he pressed his forehead to your stomach, his arms wrapping around your waist, holding you like you were the only solid thing in a world that had turned to water. his shoulders shook. he didn't try to hide it.
" i will spend the rest of my life wanting you, " he said, the words muffled against the silk of your gown. " every morning i wake up, every night i close my eyes. at every ball, every dance, every wedding i attend, i will look for you in every crowd, in every face, and i will spend the rest of my life not finding you beside me "
your hands came to rest on his head, your fingers threading through his hair, and you felt your tears falling onto him like rain.
" i will love you, " he continued, his voice cracking on every word, " until i forget how to breathe, until my heart stops beating, untill the day i die in battle until there is nothing left of me but dust and memory, i will love you, and i will never regret it "
he looked up at you then, his face completely wet, his composure in ruins, and he didn't care. he didn't care who saw, who knew, who judged. in this moment, in this room, it was just him and the angel who claimed him as hers.
you sank down to your knees in front of him, your gown pooling around you like spilled moonlight, and you took his face in your hands. your thumbs brushed away his tears, and then you were kissing him again, softer this time, slower, as if you were trying to memorize the shape of his mouth, the taste of his grief, the weight of everything you were about to lose.
" i will close my eyes, " you said against his lips. " every time i dance with him, every night i lie beside him, i will close my eyes, and i will pretend, thats hes you,, it will always be you. "
he kissed you again, deeper, pouring every word he had never been able to say before into the press of his lips, the slide of his tongue and the warmth of his hands
when you finally broke apart, you stayed there, kneeling together on the floor of the antechamber, your foreheads pressed together, your breath mingling, your hearts beating in fractured tandem.
" i should go, " he whispered, but he didn't move. couldn't move.
" just a little longer " you said. " just a bit "
he nodded, his eyes closed, and let himself have this. one more moment, one more breath, one more heartbeat where you are his.
he would carry this moment with him for the rest of his life. the weight of you in his arms. the taste of your tears. the way you said his name like it was the only prayer you had ever needed.
when he finally stood, when he finally helped you to your feet and looked at the ruin he had made of your hair, your dress, your carefully prepared composure, he almost laughed. it was a broken sound, hollow and aching.
" you're a mess, " he said softly.
" so are you " your voice hoarse from crying
he reached out, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear, letting his fingers linger on the curve of it. " you'll be the most beautiful bride wonbin's ever seen "
" i don't want to be beautiful for him "
he closed his eyes, the words a blade twisting in his chest. " i know. "
he stepped back. the distance between you was only an arm's length, but it felt like a chasm, like the space between two stars that would never align
" i love you "
your lips trembled. " i love you too. "
he nodded once, sharp and final, and then he turned and walked to the door. he paused with his hand on the handle, yet didn't turn around.
" when you walk down that aisle, " he said, voice steady now.
" when you take his hand and say your vows , know that i'll be standing there, not beside you, but with you. in whatever small way i can be. for whatever it's worth. "
he heard your breath catch. heard you take a step towards him.
" don't, " he said softly. " if you come any closer, i won't be able to leave. "
he opened the door, walked out.
sion did not look back.
but as he made his way down the corridor, as he wiped the tears from his face and straightened his jacket and prepared himself to watch the woman he loved marry his brother, he could still feel your lips on his. could still taste the salt of your tears. could still hear your voice, soft and fierce, echoing in the hollow chambers of his heart.
" i will close my eyes. it will always be you "
and for the rest of his life, he would hold onto that.
ᯓ★
only heavens know how your ladies fixed your appearance in the short span of time that was left, but even they didn't say anything. just a silent understanding of two lovers being torn apart by decisions out of their hands
@fantasia-films <3
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