vent sideblog

they it prns. minor (bodily) and did sys. i can’t block anyone and i don’t really care who interacts but i am trans and if that bothers you feel free to leave. the tag system is tw thing, if you want something tagged ask me.

[aworseworld]

if you’re here from any of my old / older posts, please keep in mind i have had this blog for an upwards of two years and have changed a lot since then. i’ll post about different topics now. also, if you’re here from any ‘__core’ posts of mine or whatever please dont think im still like that haha i have, once again, changed a lot as a person. if you’re fine with all of that then obviously feel free to stay, or click away if you’re uncomfortable. this is ultimately just a blog that i’m using to dump my mental illnesses onto

[aworseworld]

death is something that sounds so lovely. i know when i go i’ll be happy. i really wish i was happy.

[aworseworld]

they should invent a kind of abuse that doesn’t give me disgusting intrusive thoughts

[aworseworld]

damn why is that one post i made 4 years ago blowing up again 😭😭

[aworseworld]

i’m so empty all of the time. i must be broken. there must be something wrong with me. i can’t feel anything right.

[aworseworld]

new split

[aworseworld]

im so normal ignoring the fact i probably have a personality disorder and can’t feel anything because i’m in a state of constant mental overwhelm from shocking trauma memories and emotions that were so strong that i stopped being able to comprehend or register them and—

[aworseworld]

if i have another fp i will actually kill myself😭😭😭 I HATE HAVING FPS I HATE IT Let me be normal omfg

[aworseworld]

(clawing my face off) I WANT TO BE LOVED SO BADLY

[aworseworld]

every day of you not being here is another day that i am only half of me at most. i haven’t been at my most in years. my best is not something without you in the picture.

[aworseworld]

it’s been years. i don’t care if nobody else understands. i’m losing it. and it’s pathetic because it’s just one person but it’s not, it’s not just one person and he will never be just one person to me. i love him and it’s not that i need him, but that we have always been together. haven’t we? it feels like we were always together. how am i to be expected to deal with him being taken away from me for years on end? i see him in the halls.

i wonder if he sees me.

i wonder if he will see me when i have died

[aworseworld]

i miss my brother. i miss my world and miss when things were simpler.

[aworseworld]

who are you fucking kidding?

[aworseworld]

i’m so mad. i want my fucking childhood back. i hate you all

[aworseworld]

m so afraid it’s gotta get done today but i’m so scared it won’t work

[aworseworld]

i’m so scared for what reason? hes even gonna do it for me but i’m so scared i don’t want them to be mean to him or anything he said he’ll be fine he doesn’t care if that person tries to hurt him but i care. i care if they hurt my headmates i dont care if they hurt me just if they hurt my headmates

[aworseworld]

m so afraid it’s gotta get done today but i’m so scared it won’t work

[aworseworld]

i’ll disappear from people’s lives as quietly and suddenly as i entered them