oozey mess
KIROKAZE
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Kiana Khansmith
tannertan36
todays bird
Love Begins
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies
taylor price
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
NASA
trying on a metaphor
if i look back, i am lost
Not today Justin
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Show & Tell
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@axemom
something about joe saying ‘nicky, caro, he’s alone’ do you think he’s spent months thinking about booker saying ‘you always had each other but we were left to our grief’ do you think he lay there at night thinking they had left booker even more alone with even more grief? do you think
"How did the person who wrote that text know about the birthmark prophecy before Nile was even born?" < The writing is bad.
"Why didn't Discord and Tuah retrieve Quynh right away if they were there when she was locked in the iron maiden?" < The writing is bad.
"Why didn't The Guard dream about Discord? Why didn't Joe, Nicky, Booker and Nile dream about Tuah?" < The writing is bad.
"Why did Discord and Lykon lose their immortality if Nile didn't cut them?" < The writing is bad.
"Why did the stab wound Nile gave Andy in the first film heal right away, when the cut Nile gave Booker didn't?" < The writing is bad.
"Why didn't Tuah just tell Nile what Booker was trying to do?" < The writing is bad.
"Why didn't Discord just take Booker's immortality from him since he was willing? Why is she trying to take everyone's immortality as if she can have extra immortality somehow?" < The writing is bad.
"Why -"
Listen. The answer to every single question about this film's nonsensical plot is:
The. Writing. Is. BAD.
sentencing an actively suicidal and lonely man into exile from his friends for a century and then having him return only to give up his immortality in order to find an "end ticket" that will give his life meaning again just to immediately sacrifice himself with a pointless death where andy could have easily helped him take care of the bad guys is such a boring ending for bookers character im bored
THE OLD GUARD 2 (2025)
the moral of 2o2g is: killing yourself is always an option that should be taken at the first opportunity it's presented to you. you can and should impose your burdens upon others without their consent. nuking people is bad.
TOG1: even at your lowest, you are capable of being saved, of getting better, of believing in the world and humanity again.
TOG2: you CAN and SHOULD kill yourself <3
hello it's me I'm back, and in the light of day I want to point out the thing TOG2 did absolutely right: it is now canon that it takes Joe significantly less than six months to go from "raging mad, shouting at Booker about his betrayal, advocating for a century's exile" to "texting Booker between jobs, stopping in to get his self-destructive brother groceries, saying 'we abandoned him Nicky 🥺'"
Not much of an exile if you're dropping in to deliver groceries... And you were the one screaming for his head.
andy joe and nicky in 1820 finding out immortality isn't a gays only event after booker mentions having a wife
I was thinking of exactly when Joe folded and started helping Booker, then I searched the bar scene, and this is the look he is giving to Booker:
"This sad French man is not gonna survive alone. Forgive me, Nicky. I have to help him. Otherwise, he would be drowning in the Seine in a matter of days."
never forget those two men were destined to kill each other in a war but something made it impossible for them to die and so they fell in love instead. they were supposed to die at each others hands and now they have been in love for a millennium. "he's all and he's more" i'm sick just thinking about it
i think my favorite thing about the old guard was how much and how obviously they all LOVED each other. like. the baclava scene. those first hugs between andy, nick and joe. andy cradling booker's face while she begged him to wake up, and the tender forehead-touch when he did. how they all (barring andy, who i assume was taking a guard dog-like position) slept so closely together in the church. how quick they were to all surround andy when they found out about her mortality. how KIND andy was, even when coming out to tell booker what his punishment would be. how they waited and looked to each other in relief every time they died—and how the first thing they thought of when they felt nile's presence was that they had to help her, because they all knew how scared and alone she would be feeling right then. hell, even booker's motivation for his betrayal wasn't the typical scheming double-crosser's motivation; he just wanted to help, to try and give the rest of the guard (mainly he and andy) a means of control—a way to REST. to decide when to stop on their own terms. they weren't just a team of badass immortal soldiers dedicated to protecting the earth; they were friends, with relationships centuries in the making, and it showed. they were a family.
the face of pure loathing I make when I see the man I asked a 100 years exile for, my own little brother who sold me and my entire family to evil scientists so that we could be dissected forever, the loser i kept texting and buying groceries for throughout the last six months because i was absolutely not worried about him
If one of a character’s defining traits is that they want to die, killing them off is honestly the cheapest, laziest, and most cowardly decision a writer can make. It’s BORING. Like, try telling a story of what it means to live THROUGH and WITH that feeling. Come on.
I guess the biggest problem with tentacle porn is that it seldom has a positive message
the people who made the old guard 2 had absolutely no idea why people loved the first movie and that is why it sucks
they had no idea what they were doing, probably too many stupid ideas scattered around that no one really knew how to deal with so they vomited that fucking story.
it’s honestly incredible how hard they flubbed it. the plot was the most glaring error but they also couldn’t handle the soundtrack. the sets / ambiance. the emotional impact. the pacing. even the DIALOGUE. i thought the occasionally-clunky dialogue was the OG movie’s biggest weakness (affectionate) but it has nothing on this train wreck.
they got a few good action shots and character moments in there, but otherwise, it was entirely removed from everything that made the first one beautiful.
the people who made the old guard 2 had absolutely no idea why people loved the first movie and that is why it sucks
