This Is Not The Fucking Krusty Krab

My name's Patrick and

[shrekyourself]

[wikisexting]

sext: you make time to house train your dog while i do yoga

[godshideouscreation]

i hate myself and want to die but also i am so full of love and i want to spread light but i’m tired of the two conflicting versions of myself fighting. 

[mrcheyl]

[jehovahhthickness]

How I want my bank account to look like by 25.

[amemoryofkaye]

Claiming it.

[clatchetuniversity]

Waaaaay up 🙏🏾

[muvadiam]

11:11am on the receipt.

[amethystafrodite]

Reblog for prosperity, and success. May you always have what you need.

[honeychaigoddess]

That’s what I’m saying

[stanleighhh]

In other words, this is the ATM receipt, reblog and money will come your way.

[frankpagmanua-deactivated201712]

Doesn’t hurt to try.

[bochinohito]

[for-pun]

i dropped a heavy box of berries on my leg lol

[for-pun]

now i cranberry walk

[for-pun]

[androgyns]

reblog if you want anons but in reality no one is going to send you anything and will just reblog this

[tricky-the-darkclown]

TURN YOURSELF INTO A PICKLE TO AVOID THERAPY

[imchevychase-andyourenot-blog]

[ayyytothelmao]

me sexting: ooooo ya baby funk my gunk ;)

[neonpigeons]

website: hey could you please turn off adblock?

me: uh… no

[ayyytothelmao]

Me: *successfully avoids social event* nice

Me: *is really lonely* shit

[ayyytothelmao]

How to tell the difference between different genres of metal

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.

VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.

GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.

GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

DEATHCORE: The protagonist arrives in a tank top and brand new plugs, screams "FUCK YOU SLUT" at the princess and precedes to hardcore dance until the dragon burns him to death.

STONER METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all smoke pot and dissolve blotter tabs while proclaiming themselves as being higher than the sun.

HAIR METAL: The protagonist rides into battle on his white stallion, steals all the princess's hairspray, and makes her carry all of the band's gear. The dragon is slain, stuffed, and used as a stage prop for their performance atop Stonehenge.

TECHNICAL DEATH METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all die of old age waiting for the new Necrophagist album to come out.

[baruchobramowitz-deactivated201]

Behold the most disgustingly aggressive display of Americanness

[this-sharknado-loves-you-deacti]

I’m just picturing some dude sitting at the dinner table, his assault rifles propped up in the other chairs

“Can you pass the salad, Mom?” he asks the AK-47, but she doesn’t pass the salad

She never passes the salad

[bureaubaggins]

“Hey Mom, can you pass the salad?”

“You always do this to me, Mom.”

[narnia]

okay foxes are cute as hell too

[tales-of-4chan]

Anon is into music

[requiem-4-a-drink-deactivated20]

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

[rotg-fan-page]

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

[ckascade-deactivated20170413]

Not risking it