“Before we begin, I want to be sure of a few things. This device you’ve provided us with, it is 100% effective at understanding and translating languages, correct?”
“Nearly. We occasionally find a race with one or two concepts that it has trouble with, but that’s easily smoothed over.”
“One or two…okay. That’s odd.”
“Have you already found something it can’t translate?”
“Of a sort, yes. Mind humoring me for a few minutes?”
“Certainly. After all, it can take years to accept a race into the Federation.”
“Excellent. This shouldn’t take much time. I mentioned that we found some issues with your device. Allow me to demonstrate: Espionage.”
“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”
“ERROR: NO ANALOGUE FOUND”
Blitzkrieg, Stealth, Mutually Assured Destruction, Acceptable Losses, Pyrrhic Victory, Guerilla Warfare, Encirclement, Entrenchment, Siege.”
“TOO MANY ERRORS DETECTED. REBOOTING. RUNNING SELF DIAGNOSTIC. NO DISCREPANCIES FOUND,”
“Why do you have a word for…what was all that just now?”
“We were confused about that too. So we took a look at the information you sent as part of first contact with us. We noticed something interesting. Every single race in your Federation is carnivorous. Why is that?”
“First contact has always been made after sapient races make it to multiple worlds. We’ve never found a sapient herbivorous race which failed to destroy themselves in resource wars and aggressive action. We’ve never found herbivores capable of surviving long enough to leave their own world.”
“And the races you have found, while commonly using threat displays, do not waste resources on wars they cannot easily win, correct?”
“Wasted resources means decreased likelihood of survival.”
“And yet herbivores constantly waste resources on aggression, on movement, on having more young than will possibly survive.”
“And they die for it. That’s exactly why we’ve never encountered spacefaring herbivores. Their inherent aggression is their own demise.”
“Indeed. Now, back to the subject at hand. I’ll ask you before we continue: what can you offer humans for joining your Federation?”
“We’ve already sent the offer. You’ve seen that, I’m sure.”
“And I’m asking, what else do you have to offer?”
“Nothing. I’m not sure why you’re-”
“May I have permission to connect my datapad with my ship’s computers?”
“Computer, show video: Hiroshima”
“That’s…you’re using weapons of that scale on a population center? How recent was this?”
“Three centuries ago. Prior to our invention of spaceflight. Part of a much larger conflict. This is a relatively minor example of “overwhelming force”“
“Shut it. Computer, show infosheet: Battle of Stalingrad.”
“That…what purpose would that…why w-”
“Because Stalingrad was an advantageous location and the people who died there were considered ‘Acceptable losses’“
“Computer, show gallery: General Sherman’s March to the Sea.”
“So much waste…that can’t be intentional, can it?”
“Because it rendered the enemy unable to use resources Sherman couldn’t keep. Computer, assemble and show video grouping: RTS Games”
“The translator can’t have gotten that right. Those are military tactical simulations. Higher level than anything I’ve ever seen or heard of.”
“No. They aren’t. Those are games. Toys. For. Fun. And they’re a couple hundred years out of date. From what I’ve seen, nearly every human capable of coherent speech is capable of tactically overwhelming your Federation. And since we’re already here, in space, it’s too late for you to say no. So, I’ll ask again:
What do you have to offer us?”
tangentwithtanner
baratheonpilled
kianamaiart
2087
titsay
vaporwave
