having thoughts about renee seeking andrew out to spar. i think their friendship was far more reciprocal than often made out to be. there are rough parts of renee that still existed; she held onto her knives all those years despite her massive shift in life and faith.
andrew is the one who takes them from her, partly because he wants that protection for himself and he knows that renee will help him, but also partly because he knew it was something she wanted to let go of but couldn’t.
the idea of renee sometimes initiating their sparring sessions because she needs that outlet, that reminder of who she was and how far she’s come, of how powerful her kindness is when she’s capable of such violence, or maybe, just maybe, she is working through shit just like andrew is and this controlled aggression is what helps her make it through the bad shit that lives in her. that she relies on andrew in someway, that their friendship is a two way street of mutual comfort… scratches my brain.
can you imagine them swapping stories of their past and realizing how very much they have in common? i could see renee finding relief in having someone who can grasp both who she was and appreciate that who she is now doesn’t negate everything that has come before.
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