although harley had been quite distracted ( and, in turn, quite focused ! a little counterintuitive, but it worked ! ), there was a moment, however temporary, that belva and chandler’s arrests were muted ever-so slightly. when she caught sight of azra arslan, she was all that went through her mind. should there not have been some form of resentment ? should there not have been some form of dull, at the very least, dislike ? there should have been, right ? and yet, when she saw azra, she saw a woman who carried great power. and it was not in relation to her name, not in relation to the arslan business. it was in knowing that the woman, the other ‘other woman,’ was courageous enough to keep the child. willing to raise it with no one else in the picture – not directly, at least. perhaps her other family members would be there as support, perhaps friends would be there as support ( … did the arslans have friends ? ), but she was, ultimately, doing it all on her own.
yes, maybe she should’ve held some form of resentment towards the woman – one that stemmed from a place of internalized misogyny, sure, but a common effect, nonetheless – and yet… she held admiration for her. perhaps it would be strange, but harley felt compelled to finally speak to the other. and she felt compelled to acknowledge the strength – not in any direct ‘oh my god, you’re so brave for being a single mom in today’s climate!’ way, but… in a way. so, during those few moments that it was just azra in her mind, she approached her and bridged the gap she wasn’t sure if azra even knew existed. “ hey – y’know, i just wanted to, like… say congratulations. ” … or did she ? was that the right thing to say when the father had died ? completely disregarding that she’d seen azra’s dead father, in addition ! should she… add something ? she didn’t know azra personally, so she couldn’t say she was sure she’d make a great mom ! “ it’s, like… real strong. ” … didn’t she just say she was not going to say anything so direct ? the curse of the impulsive and ill-prepared !
“Thank you,” Azra nodded, taking the congratulations with a smile - though it was masking the internal eye-roll that she had at the rest of Harley’s words. “And I guess it is,” she shrugged, sounding modest, “But at the same time if you look at history, you see so much of the women being in charge of the children, while men did nothing but take a passing fancy. And even now, you see people congratulating men for doing the bare minimum with their children, while women are constantly scrutinized for how they mother. So I like to think of it more as I’m doing what generations of women before me did without really having the annoyances. Or that’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself, because I never actually got the chance to tell Vidal, and part of me wishes I had because I want to know if he’d actually to be involved. Because I like to think that maybe he wouldn’t have been the disappointment most men are.” She sounded soft, like she was still holding back some grief, that she had been trying to comfort herself by telling herself she was following in the footsteps of great women. And while it was an act, it at least was consistent with her performance at the pageant, which was probably the most important part of keeping up the lie.