cat who hacksd the no fly list literally my hero
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Show & Tell
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
almost home
The Bowery Presents
Claire Keane

Love Begins

#extradirty
untitled
Cosimo Galluzzi

No title available
macklin celebrini has autism
h
Not today Justin

gracie abrams
Color Me Curious
The Bright Sessions
KIROKAZE

if i look back, i am lost
One Nice Bug Per Day
seen from United States
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@azrali323
cat who hacksd the no fly list literally my hero
death, taxes, merthur making it on the top 100 ships of the year
the “tumblr community invents a whole mafia movie apparently directed by martin scorsese with an official soundtrack, movie posters, screen caps, and all enough to make one question if that movie really did exist at all like a mandela effect” was not part of my 2022 bingo card
are y’all fucking serious right now?? a trailer AND fanfics?? forum threads and meta analysis?? and wtf is up with ebay like WHAT are you selling my dude?? the idea? the joke??
It’s performance art. We are proving that we can, in fact, change the world.
goncharov
shoutout to the guy who created a parody account of cinemasins where instead of pointing out every single flaw in a film, he just pointed out things he liked about the movie. you're so right cinemawins its so much more fun to like things
Goncharov Lore Thus Far, based on the top tumblr post results
Main cast are Goncharov himself, his wife Katya (née Michailov), and Andrey
One side character is named Mario Ambrosini. He is described as a “sad boi” and is involved in gambling.
Set in Naples and involving a drug ring/mafia. The plot seems to involve Russian organized crime attempting to get a foothold in Italy.
There is a Boat Scene. Katya survives via resourcefulness.
Andrey and Goncharov have a substantial amount of homoeroticism. Andrey also has an internet in Katya. This forms a true love triangle.
At some point, Katya threatens to shoot Goncharov. This is framed as a Girlboss Moment.
There is also a Beer Bottle Scene.
Katya fakes her death.
heavy clock symbolism. A pivotal scene occurs at a clock tower, there is a grandfather clock in the background of some sets, etc
A supporting female character named Sofia makes an appearance, wearing a cocktail dress. Katya protects her at some point. They’re both in the Boat Scene. At one point they buy fruit together in a marketplace. This is lesbian shipping fuel.
The villain, likely Mario, has a sidekick named Icepick Joe. Joe commits a final act of heroism before being left for dead— after being killed by an Icepick. Perhaps he turned against Mario and was killed in retaliation?
Goncharov, played by DeNiro, has a very distinctive manner of walking.
Katya’s brother, Valery, makes an appearance.
from posts I’ve witnessed (only mentioning things I’ve seen >5 blogs post about) - there is an Anchovies scene, and fish symbolism also plays a heavy role. at some point Katya is seen near a fish bowl full of goldfish, and this is important to the Boat Scene as well. - Goncharov and Andrey have homoerotic tension, and this is used to further statements about the cycle of repression and violence
The story involves Goncharov losing himself in a downward spiral. It is a tragedy of unbecoming.
There’s a Bridge Scene. This is the one with the clocktower chiming in the background.
There’s a scene involving a tank of anchovies.
Icepick Joe has a traumatic backstory
Katya betrays Goncharov AND Sofia. She’s well-intentioned, but it all comes crashing down, ending in her losing them both— losing Sofia emotionally and inadvertently causing Goncharov’s death
There’s a shootout in Pompeii in which Mario destroys historically significant architecture. This is representative of the destructive nature of nationalism.
Dare I say this is Tumblr's greatest bit of all time
I know Tumblr isn't a huge fan of companies, BUT!
Just in case you were interested, my VTuber Agency, Kawa Entertainment, opened up applications!
Come join us and be shitposters on the internet together 😘
Apply - Kawa Entertainment
We recently did a stream discussing life at our agency, if you're interested!
Anyway if this post reaches 30000 notes I'll sit down and professionally film a Goncharov movie scene you can send to people who claim it's not real. This is completely serious, I've made movies before and I'm willing to do it for the memes.
Love to be on a website where I can join such hit 2022 fandoms as "century old public domain novel being read very slowly" and "half-century old mafia film that does not actually exist."
WTF Tumblr? You Weird, Wonderful Wackos
I walk into tumblr to see how the days going and everyone’s suddenly throwing their collective hands up screaming “Goncharov!” It’s all “Goncharov this!” and “Goncharov that!” and I’m left scratching my head like a clueless old man, confused by the vagaries and whims of youthful amusements. You all made me do homework. While amusing (someone made tshirts), I felt the need to post about other posts concerning people who thought that this fiction was a reality. Something about this particular aspect of this phenomenon saddens me. With that said: *Claps hands* I have to bow my head and give much deserved praise for those of you who helped fabricate an entire fandom around an invented film. I would love to see if this comes to Martin Scorsese ‘s attention. That would be additional fun. (If Lynda Carter’s game, why not Scorsese?)
Goncharov Lore (“Gonchlore” if you will) Masterpost
BUZZFEED AND NYT DO NOT MINE THIS POST FOR CONTENT. THIS IS A TUMBLR PHENOMENON *ONLY*
Note: this is regarding the lore made up by tumblr collaboratively about a fake Martin Scorsese film. See the post that started it all and fake poster.
Goncharov was released in 1973. It was written by Matteo JWHJ 0715 and directed (?) and/or possibly co-written by Martin Scorsese. Scorsese’s big name helped popularize the film, but as a result JWHJ 0715’s significant contribution is often overlooked
Goncharov was forgotten and was actually difficult to acquire for many years. This may have been due to corporations hoarding rights and access, the actually mafia targeting distribution of the film, other factors, or a combination of these. This led to pirating of the film, which allegedly led to pirating discourse surrounding the film
There are talks of a Goncharov II or remake
Goncharov is a mafia boss in Naples of Russian origin. His wife/fiancée is named Katya, also of Russian origin. Goncharov may or may not have fled Russia, and may or may not have been pursued by someone trying to get him back to Russia, possibly to face legal justice. One such person trying to do this could be Valery Michailov
Valery Michailov is Katya’s sister. He may resent Goncharov due to his relationship with his sister and due to Goncharov being wanted by the Russian government. He is somewhat patriotic, possibly a former government worker or soldier.
Katya’s last name is either Michailova or Goncharova (although possibly with the wrong suffix). Her relationship with Goncharov is strained, tense, and possibly loveless. She ends up betraying him in the end. This is often seen as a subversion on the typical tropes for women in mafia movies.
At some point, Katya is on a bridge with Goncharov. At some point, Katya points a gun at Goncharov. At some point, Katya is injured on a boat/in a boathouse.
Katya is amicable with someone named Sofia, who has brown hair. She also has subtextual homoerotic tension with her
Sofia may be working class/poorer than many of the other characters are.
Goncharov has subtextual homoerotic tension with someone named Andrey. Andrey is Goncharov’s old friend/best friend/nemesis/enemy/competitor. There is at least one instance of one of them trying to kill the other.
Ice pick Joe is played by John Cazale, making this his 6th movie. He has a famous 10 minute scene with Katya, and at some point dies, also possibly at the hands of Katya.
Mario Ambrosini works with Goncharov, possibly as a lackey or number two. At some point in the middle of the story, he betrays Goncharov and Goncharov tells him that he “never wants to see [Mario] again”. It is unclear what happens to him after that. Mario also has a relationship with Andrey that some have described as “fascinating”. It is unclear how.
There is a clock motif in Goncharov, and a general theme regarding “running out of time” before death. There are a few characters who seem at the very least subconsciously aware of the fact that they have little time until their death. The film also deals with the theme of fate, of death and tragedy being and inevitable thing for these characters.
Goncharov dies at the end of the movie, due to someone’s betrayal.
Goncharov (1973) was heavily influenced by the American Cold War propaganda of the time. Some argue that it plays right into the stereotypes of Russians, others say it is a clever subversion of the propaganda and stereotypes of the time.
Feel free to add more/expand/add alternative information!
Google doc is here
Discord is here
(If the links don’t work, feel free to hit me up and I’ll try to connect you!)
y’all know what time it is 🔴
Once again, Tumblr manages to succeed via just being honest with their users.
I made a post back around April fool's about the crabs being so popular because the joke was that every other website tries to trick you into clicking things so they can make money from your clicks and what if instead a website just asked "please click this revenue generating crab. It is there to generate revenue. In return you will have clicked on a crab. Nothing more." And the answer to that question was "people will frantically click on that crab. They don't hate the idea of the website getting money, they hate the idea of being profited on against their will".
So Tumblr implemented actual revenue crabs. "For this much money you can fill your or someone else's dash with virtual crabs. This will have the effect of there being crabs on their screen."
And people will buy those crabs. Because yes you're spending money on something stupid and useless but it's being sold to you as "hey you want something stupid and useless?", which is a nice change of pace from every other site trying to make itself out to be something more than what it is.
Twitter is floundering with the checkmark system because it's being sold as "confirm that you are someone important and who you say you are is true", which it isn't at all right now because anyone can buy one. You're buying a useless checkmark that only says that YOU think you're important. Or, more often than not right now, you are intending to trick other people into thinking you're someone you're not.
Meanwhile, Tumblr just said "Consider this double check mark. It does nothing. You will be marking yourself as someone who paid money for a meaningless checkmark and sometimes it will randomly turn into a bunch of crabs, making the site harder to use". And the userbase is like "Well sure, that sounds delightful."
The point is, despite what all the marketing and advertising people have tried to say, painting trash gold and trying to pass it off as something better is almost never as effective as just saying "hey you want this trash?"
Why yes, in fact, I do.
The latest quest got me thinking about the remaining original archons