Shadowgirl

She/Her Yes, I accept requests!

[azzieshd]

☆*:.｡. Masterlist .｡.:*☆

ACOTAR

Azriel

Sweet child o' mine (Fluffy)

In the stars (Angst)

Pillowtalk (Smut)

Set fire to the rain (Angst to fluffy)

It's the most wonderful time of the world (fluffy)

When did you get hot? (Smut)

Cassian

Headcanon: Morning routines

[azzieshd]

Azriel: When did tou get hot?

You've known Azriel before. He was a tiny little boy, and now he is here in your camp, looking like he is a God of Sex himself

4.9K words

Warnings: SMUT, p in v, course words

Author's Notes: Soo... I was a little inspired and listening a lot to Sabrina Carpenter. That's what came out. Hope you enjoyed it.

It would be a lie if you said you can get accustomed to living in an Illyrian Camp. Life there never gets easy, actually, it only gets worse. Worser if you are female.

There was some social understanding taking place for centuries in those camps: you would be respected only if you had a dick between your legs and you would be even more respected if you were a dick.

Males were the rulers, the warriors, the providers.

And females were males’ properties. First her father’s property and then her husband’s.

But there were rumors that some campsites were changing: females started training in some of them, learning how to protect themselves and to combat. Needless to say it was not happening where you live.

Being from one of the oldest camps meant it will be even more difficult to accept this change. Females in here still get her wings clipped.

You remember when they clipped yours, the memory is still vivid in your worst nightmares. It was your father who demanded it. You went out to wash the clothes, got unwarned by three big males. They dragged you to the stamp, your body and wings scraping in the ground, the local where they clipped all the females stank with the smell of blood, piss and dregs. You started trembling from crying the moment they got your hands tied to the small piece of wood chunk, it was so small that even being one of the smallest females in the camp, your body had to be too hunched over to stay in position. You felt their rough hands grab the talon of your wing with so much force your stomach twisted, and then you felt the coldness of the saw. You vomited the moment they started cutting just the right place that will forever take your ability to fly. The pain was so immense you passed out.

Today, your wings were healed, but you will never get to feel the wind against your face anymore. It had been centuries since that happened, but you would never forgive your father for that or the males who did you or all the other males who allow such a thing. That’s why you're here right now, between lots of other females while the High Lord speaks about the forbidden of clipping wings. Again.

He had already been here and talked about the same thing. The problem was that the centuries old males just refused to accept it and did it all hidden. Needless to say the High Lord found out, so now we will have a 24/7 watch dog.

And for your surprise, this watch dog was born in here, lived just in the house across from yours until the day you never got to see him anymore. But you remember him. He was a truly skinny little guy, with a paleness that broke out the pattern of Illyrian usual tanned skin, dishevelled black hair and a sulked face. His name, Azriel. 

You can’t believe the Azriel you are seeing right now is the same one.

Tall and big. With broad shoulders and leathers marked with muscles, a posture so rigid it made your body shivered. His face was like a sculptry, perfect, a sharp jaw, combining with the fury in his eyes. Not a single black strand out of order in his hair. Is this the same guy? 

You swear that little boy had shadows surrounding him just like this godsdammed fucking hot male has. But how could that Azriel from your past be this wetting panties Azriel?

His stoic face didn’t reveal his emotions, but you saw the moment his eyes scanned the crowd, the moment he swallowed dry after counting how many clipped females were there hearing their words and then his eyes locked yours and his brows furrowed. Could he have remembered you as well?

- - - - - 

You were washing clothes by the river with the other females of your camp. There had been 3 days since the High Lords advertisement about Azriel being the new supervisor. There had been 3 days since none of the males tried to approach any of you in the river.

Usually, the laundry was a service for the single females, the reason why so many males hovered over the river. Not for a relationship, no, that was something the father arranged. They were just looking to get laid.

However, with Azriel here, they stayed at the training ring, not bothering any of you at your work. You couldn’t remember a day when you worked in such a peace. Well, until that female came down to talk to you.

Just like you, she was one of the oldest females that were still single. You guess that’s the reason she believes she is your friend. In reality, you could barely endure her voice.

“He is the High Lord’s spymaster, did you know it?” she was talking about Azriel while you were eager to try to ignore her talking. Azriel was watching you working, protecting you actually, you would not want him hearing you talking about him “They say he is unflagging in bed” you swear to the Mother she was not speaking in a low tone by being so near to him “They also say he has the biggest wingspan ever seen!"

That got your attention, you knew what it meant, everyone did. Just like everyone knew that the size matching was not a rumor, it was a real thing. Having Azriel now being a really good sight, nevertheless the fact he is indeed something to think about late at night when you’re alone, you didn’t have to know that he, above all that, had the biggest wingspan. You looked at him then.

He was already looking at the both of you.

Gods, is there somewhere you could hide yourself? Why the hell is this girl giggling after being caught talking about the size of his wings? Is she crazy? You bet she is, ‘cause now she is holding your arm while she is fixing her hair, looking directly at his eyes, whispering to you “Do you think I’m his type?"

You looked at her then. Skinny, long legs, a little more tanned than you, siren eyes and puffy lips. Than you looked at him and his glory, his biceps were so big you swear it was the size of your head, his chest was strong, probably an 8 pack, face shaved with a wild beauty, brows constantly neat making him look angry all the time. It also made you think if he could look downwards with that closed expression to a female while fucking her hard. You bet she could. And you bet he was into lean females, just like the one beside you.

You looked at her again. Than at you. You were smaller than the rest of the Illyrians, more curvy, you had more boobs and ass than the rest, which made almost all the clothes you wear look obscene, marking every part of your body. Obviously not the type of a high rank illyrian warrior. 

“Yes, be you do” you answered, but didn't have the guts to look at Azriel anymore. Males had already told you how your body was out of proportions and how you outstanded between the other females, that’s the main reason for you still being single, they always pick the one who they think could get their sons with an even more “warrior perfect body”. The more leaner, the better. How could you stain a whole lineage by giving your short legs genes? What will that warrior do? Bite the others shin?

Azriel is now a Carynthian, the most feared warrior in Night Court, possibly one of the most feared in all Prythian. The females that got laid by him are probably the most beautiful ones to touch this ground ever, he would never look at someone like you.

“I hope you’re right, ‘cause I’ll go talk to him tonight by the bonfire” why the hell is she still talking to you? 

The bonfire event occurs every week, where they light up lots of bonfires by the camp. Family and friends get together by it, sharing a single bonfire, lots of drinks and food. The bonfire you stay by is the one shared by this exactly single females working in the river. You couldn’t say you like this event, it was just one more place where males tried with all their effort to get laid for the night.

“Well, good luck then” you wished as you got the clothes, now clean, with you, heading straight to the place to hang them and dry. You swear you could still feel Azriel looking at your back.

- - - - - 

The smell of roast pork was in the air while you walked to the ‘single ladies’ bonfire. Kids were running around playing with fake swords and adults were chatting and drinking. It was all a single cacophony. Illyrians can be pretty loud.

You found an empty space to seat by the bonfire and accepted the beer jug one of the girls gave to you. You were not a big fan of beer, but it was better than spending the night not talking to anyone. You were not friends with the other females, most of them keeping their distance, thinking you could, somehow, pass your “male repellent” thing. It wasn’t good seeing someone as old as you still not married or at least engaged. You could do nothing about that though.

As soon as you settled, your eyes automatically tried to find the Shadowsinger. Unfortunately he was nowhere to be seen. Neither was your “friend”. Guess you were right about his type.

You decided you could stay there ‘till the pork was served and at least two of the girls of your bonfire were taken. That way, they will not think you are trying to escape all this bullshit.

It didn’t take long for the females who work on the community kitchen to pass, bonfire by bonfire, offering a bowl with pork. You got yours and, somehow, got even more silent while eating. At least until someone came to sit by your side. 

You already know who it was, didn’t even need to look at her to know she would start spelling the beans about how good Azriel is in bed and how she is such a lucky female. It seems he got her really tired once she didn’t start to talk yet, so you decided to go throw it first.

“So, biggest wingspan ever seen?” you asked, waiting for her to just answer and get off of it quickly before you could go back to your residence. Unlucky for you, she didn’t respond just yet, obliging you to look up for her. 

That was the moment you prayed for one of the kids running to bump into you and lead you straight to the fire, ‘cause there was not the female looking at you. It was Azriel. Looking straight into your eyes just after you said about his wingspan.

“Sorry” you said, voice so low you thought he didn’t hear you “I thought it was…” 

“Someone else?” he finished your apology and you couldn’t do any other thing than nodding. You could feel your face reddening as shame consumed you, but then he spoke again “You know, I remember you having a more sharp tongue. Not you getting cheeks flushed after talking to a male”

So he does remember you.

“Well, that was when you were a little boy afraid of his own shadow. Not this…” you responded, getting to see the little smirk in his lips as he encouraged you to finish your line “big brooding male, capable of scaring kids by your fates their parents tell before sleep time”

Azriel then laughed. Loudly. You couldn’t hold the small smile at that.

“And here I am thinking you changed, Y/N” so he does remember your name too. Great. “You still live in the same place?”

“Some of us don't get to go away without saying goodbye and get to be a high ranked warrior, who works directly for the High Lord” you respond while lowering your gaze again to your bowl “So, yes, I live in the same place. With the difference that now I don’t get to laugh about my tiny cute neighborhood"

He smiled again “Didn’t know you went rancorous about me going away”. You huffed, he laughed one more time. “I thought I'd gone out of my mind when I saw you in the crowd the day Rhys came to say I would watch you guys. Thought I wouldn’t find you here anymore and that scared me” you looked incredulously to him then “Than I was by the river trying to avoid inconvenient males approaching you working, and there you were again. With the incredible company of someone who is incapable of talking quietly even if their life depends on it” you couldn’t help and laughed at that.

“You heard it”

“Of course I did. One more minute and she would have started screaming out her lungs about another filthy thing about me” he truly looked outraged about how loud that girl can be “But there was a good thing about her being loud as a megaphone…”

Now that got your attention. What on Prithian could be good to have her talking so loudly? “And what would that be?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” you shook your head “I caught you on a lie!”

“What?” Now you were the outraged one “What did I lie about?”

“About her being my type”

You thought you misheard. He was joking, right?

But he was serious. Categorical.

“Well… do I need to apologize for assuming that?” Your head spinned. You wished your voice came out stronger than it did. 

“No, no need to apologize. But I’m curious, why did you think that?” You looked at him than. Deep in the eyes, those eyes so beautiful and, at this moment, so full of something you couldn’t quite decipher what it was.

“She is the standard beauty in our society” His gaze got so intense into yours that you had to look down again “And male like you always have standard beauty as a type"

“Males like me?” you nodded “And what of male am I?”

Now that pissed you off. Is he going to play dumb around you or something? You gathered courage to look at him again “Males of High Society who knows pretty well what they can do to a female. Males who have females in a row to get laid by them. Males who know they could get any female he wants, so he would obviously choose the prettiest one. That’s the kind of male that are like you” 

You needed to take a deep breath after vomiting all these words in his face. And he fucking smirked.

“What happened to the little boy you said I was?” Now he was provoking you. Awesome.

Was he also getting closer to you? 

“I thought I also made it clear it was in the past” You were being stubborn at this point.

“I  thought I also made it clear it was a lie” He replied. That fucking smirk still in his face “Would you like if I explicit exactly what my type is?”

You didn’t quite get to know exactly what led you to nod. But in an instant, you were both standing up, all the other females who were still gathered by the bonfire looked at you. Azriel took your small hand in his and led you toward the residences, you could feel the stares while you walked between the other bonfires.

For a split second you thought he was leading you to your house, but then he turned in another corner and you kept walking in silence. The streets were all silent either, just the sound of your steps echoing through the night. The moon and the stars illuminated your path and you took the chance to admire Azriel's features.

You were so engrossed at how beautiful he looked by the moonlight that you didn’t notice when you arrived at the house. You’ve never been there, but you could tell the building belongs to your High Lord. It was much more preserved than the other houses, alongside the elegance it has. 

Azriel opened the door for you and entered just after. He looked at you with expectation in the eyes, maybe waiting to see if you were going to say something. But all those words you had the courage to spit it out just went away. Now all you could feel was your heart racing against your ribcage, so hard you got afraid azriel might hear it too.

Your eyes scanned the room, soft and clean. Fancy. 

You felt out of space

“Don’t do that” he warned you in a more sharp tone he intended to, you could tell he felt bad for it the moment his eyes got bigger as soon as he realized how it sounded. But you didn’t get what he just said, were you doing something wrong? “You are thinking you don’t fit in here. Just as you did when you were by the lake”

You got confused with his words though.

“I saw the moment you looked at yourself after that female asked if you thought she was my type. I saw how your brows furrowed when you did it. And I didn’t like a bit” You looked at his eyes, he was truly acting like he didn’t like indeed “I didn’t like because you doubted you were the hottest female I have ever got my eyes into”

His words made you flush. Gods, where is your ability to respond when you most need it?

In the end you didn’t get to respond, ‘cause in no time his mouth crashed against yours. You got the feeling Azriel would be a hard kisser, but getting to know it for sure was a completely different thing.

His hands, marred with scars, found their way. One holding thigh around your waist and the other adding the perfect pression in your neck, a combination so fucking perfect you let out a moan. He released you then and you got to have a better look to some details: how his eye color had the perfect mix between hazel and green, or how his down lip was just slightly bigger than the upper one or even the small scars he had, one up at his cheek and the other right in the middle of his brow. 

You didn’t get much time to absorb other details because his mouth was on yours again. His hands now made a new way and found comfort just below your ass and, with an impulse, he was holding you midair. His mouth didn’t let yours for a split second. He started walking to what you thought was his bedroom.

When he got to the bed, he still held and kissed you while lying down ‘till his big body was hovering over your small one. His right hand came to hold your jaw and made pressure to cease the kiss, you didn’t know if it was to prevent you or him from continuing kissing. 

“I need to know if you want to continue this” He asked, worried about doing something that was not what you were looking for. You nodded. Not in a million time you would say no to this “Babe I need to hear you say it”

“You promise you would show me what your type is” You tried to tease him with his own words but the only thing you got to do was whisper. Thankfully that was enough for him and his mouth was on yours again.

Meanwhile the hand that hold you was still in your jaw – but now helping pressing you against him – his other one made it’s way to you panties. You were wearing a dress for the night, choosing that one because it was fresh once you were about to spend the night by the fire. His hand hovered over the cloth, playing with your pussy making you get more wet than you already were. Then you felt his fingers playing with the waistband before going in just the same moment his mouth let yours and went to give kisses on your neck.

Your stomach twisted and you let out a deep breath, Anticipation getting over your entire body. The moment his long finger made contact in your needed entrance you shivered, you felt his fingers playing with the wetness you were, going up and down, just teasing and never getting in. You didn’t let your thoughts lead to this way before, you met Azriel when he was young and remember clearly of the day he got his hands burned, the day he came to the camp with the High Lord his hands were pressed tight at his back and tonight you weren’t quite focused on seeing his scars while talking, but if you had paid attention to it, you were sure you would spend a good time thinking how it would be to feel the marred skin in your clit. Well, it was amazing. The texture of it made your legs shake,

“You already like this for me?” Somehow his voice got hoarser, dipper. Made you get wetter (if it was possible) “I know you want more, but I need to prepare you before I can fuck you senseless”

That was another thing that got in your head lately and Azriel was proving you were right. He likes to speak during sex, filthy things in a hoarse way. You now asked if he would swear either. You bet he does.

His index finger provoked your entrance, coming in slowly, making you feel each inch he took. Than came another finger, fighting for space.

“For the Cauldron Y/N, you are thigh” He started scissoring his fingers than, making you take another deep breath. You were feeling him all around you and that was amazing, but you already had started craving for more. So came the third finger and a moan escaped you.

He bent his fingers just enough to tuck the perfect spot inside you. When you got the feeling you could come with that, he took them out and you made a disapproval noise.

He laughed under his breath in the hottest way someone was allowed to do “Sorry to disappoint you when you were enjoying it so much. But you don’t get to come before I’m deep inside you”

You though this was the moment then. He would take his cloths off and fuck you the way wanted it and could come with him inside you. But instead of doing it, he got out of the bed, grabbed your ankles and pulled closer to the edge. Then he bent down the floor and you opened your mouth from the view of that ridiculous handsome male looking at you from that position looking like a hungry predator. His eyes got darker, there was sweat in his forehead and some strands glued to his forehead and he watched you just like you were his meal. He lowered his head and you felt the first slide of his tongue.

“Even sweeter than I imagined” You got the impression now that he was not talking to you, but admitting something it was only in his head.

Your moan got louder with each stroke. The loudest one being released the moment he invaded your pussy with the entirety of his tongue. In that moment you realised his nose was just long enough to reach your clit while he was deep sucking you.

Again, he didn’t let you come, taking distance from your aching spot while he licked his own lips, not letting any of your juices go wasted. He got up between your legs and took his shirt out, gracing you with an 8 pack (you knew it!) and tattoos that strangely gave you the urge to lick them all.

You could see the bulge in his pants, your hands darted to touch it, but before you could, you looked up at him searching for approval. He nodded once. All your palm was not enough to wrap all of it. You started undoing his belt and buttons, taking a second before finally bullying it from the strand of the pants and underwear. Your eyes almost went out it’s orbit with the sight before you.

Azriel was not just big, he was enormous. The biggest wingspan between all the Illyrians was real. Alongside, he was thick, with some veins around it (veins that started just a little higher from where the waistband usually gets, you bet those who get the chance to see him training shirtless can do nothing but imagine if it goes down. Yes, girls, it does!) 

“I’m afraid this will not fit me” You said under your breath and once again he let that small laugh escape.

“That’s why I prepared you. But don’t worry, I’ll go slow and I would never hurt you, ok?” You nodded and he didn’t insist on your reassuring it out loud.

He grabbed your ankles again and let him put your legs on his chest. The tip of his head teased you and you gave a fuck about your concerning of him not fitting. You needed him right the fucking now.

Unfortunately, for you, he went slow. Too slow.

You could feel as he filled every inch of you, how he widened you bit by bit. He let a thick sound escape his throat, just like a howl. You swear it was the most erotic sound you ever heard. 

You watched his concentrated scowl. You were right in one more thing about him. His black brows were knit together, eyes low watching as his cock invaded you, his skin was gleaming with sweat and he usually get to water his dry lips. You also got him biting his lips  while his gaze was still focused on your bodies glued together.

When he started moving, you saw stars. In the beginning he was careful and you could feel your walls tightening around him, marveling at the sensation of him. When he was sure you were good and not aching from the enlarging, he became fucking harder.

You could hear his balls beating against you, a sound so erotic you thanked you were the only ones that could hear it. The bed was also adding to this intimate music of yours.

Your moans were constantly cutting off the moment he banged you again and again, robbing the air of your lungs, not letting you finish those indecent noises. Azriel however, was a mess of howling and coursing. He kept saying things while fucking you such as “This motherfucker perfect pussy” or “You are so good at taking my cock”. You tried smiling at those he compliments you by saying you were a good girl, but your smile always falls into an open mouth when he just presses that little perfect place inside you.

When you thought he would let you come, he spins you around and harshly gets you in a dog position. He doesn't wait to get inside you again and in this position you can feel him going even deeper. His hands come to your hair, doing a messy ponytail, which he pulls it harder while banging you like this. 

You also now know that he likes big asses. Truly likes it. While keeping a hand in your hair, his other one kept squeezing it or beating it from time to time. And when you thought he got tired of it, he released your head, got his belt in a way you don’t know how he dit without stop fucking you, and bounded your hands behind your back.

Now with your face pressed hard on the mattress, water coming down your eyes from the intensity of it all. Azriel grabbed you ass with both hands with such a force you knew you would stay with the marks of his fingers and started rocking your body at the same time he fucked you. He pulled you even harder with each trust and when you thought you couldn’t get anything more, he slid one of his hands to rub your clit.

You came so hard your throat ached from your scream. Your pussy squirting all over the spymaster’s mattress, while you could fill him coming hard inside you.

Your mind was foggy after all of it, but you felt Azriel lifting you on his arms and leading to the bathroom. He bathed with you, but before he could get a towel to you, you heard him going to the bedroom again. He took some time and came back with one of his shirts to you. 

Clean, dried and dressed. He carefully got you in his arms again and laid you on bed. You noticed the time he got while you waited at the shower was for changing the mattress. He laid just beside you and let you put your head on his chest.

You were still lazy from your hard coming, so you just enjoyed the silence and the gentle way Azriel was caressing you. He gave you a goodnight kiss before turning off the light.

During this intimate moment with Azriel you got to be right about lots of things about how he is in bed. But there was one you would never risked: Azriel, The Shadowsinger and Spymaster of the Nightcourt, owner of the biggest wingspan, likes to cuddle.

[azzieshd]

Azriel: It's the most wonderful time of the world

Your favorite festivity is coming: The Winter Solstice But you have no idea what to get to your mate, Azriel. Until you have.

2.0K words Warnings: None Author's Note: Have been a long time! 2 years without writing a word, forgive this poor soul. Hope you enjoy reading (and hope I'm not rusty in this thing called writing)

Being mates with Azriel for centuries led you to know everything about him, about his likes and about his needs. This time of the year is the moment you recognize what your mate might wish as a gift for the Winter Solstice (A.K.A your favorite night of the year).

Although being your High Lady’s Birthday – which is already a great reason to commemorate – is also the longest night of the year. Of course that living your entire life in the Night Court made you have a special connection with the starry night, but you were always affectionate with the absence of the sun and how the dark sky warmed your heart, how the stars, alongside with the moon, shone in all their beauty.

The fact that you had a celebration where you could stay with your beloved ones for more time than you usually get, with the best treats (such as cakes and tarts and all other goods) and lots of gifts made your heart race.

The only problem by now was: what can you get to someone who already has everything?

You were always thoughtful about the gifts you were about to buy to the Inner Circle, trying to choose something of their likes or their needs, such as the new set of brushes you just bought to Feyre or the newest release of Nesta’s favorite author. But for Azriel it was always something you spent more time thinking about what to get to him.

In parts it was because some of the things he obviously enjoyed (such as a new dagger to his collection or a new case to Truthteller), he would always – without exception – be gifted by other member of the Inner Circle, but the other part was that you lived with him, you knew everything he had, what he needed and what he could possibly want and you always needed to share this information to the others so they don’t buy something he dislikes.

This year however, some of the products you buy to him needed to be bought earlier or went out of storage, leaving you completely in the dark of what you could give to him.

Cassian was the one responsible to get your mate’s collection bigger this year and you knew it because he went, unpretentiously, with you to a forger and asked if he already had a dagger with gold sparkles in the handle. Mor asked you what your mate’s T-shirt size was. Rhysand was caught looking if his Illyrian armour needed a replacement. Elain asked you if he liked pajamas. Feyre gently asked to enter your mind to watch your Mate Ceremony, with the excuse she was not born and not that she would eternalize your greatest moment in a canva. Amrem went to your shared house and said she needed to see your personal wine cellar for inspirations of her own and then asked what Azriel’s favorite brand was. Nesta was the only one that didn't ask you for something, but you saw her buying your mate’s favorite trilogy in a hardcover special collection one day when you went to the bookstore.

Now, with just one week before the Winter Solstice, you were pacing in your room thinking what you could get him in this time. 

- - - - -

6 days before the Winter Solstice, Elain asked if you could help her with the dishes for the celebration night, she had some ideas for it, but wanted to make sure the recipes were good, so you came to the House of Wind to help her cook and see if you’d need to change something before the Night. And it happened you would have since while eating the dishes, you went out running straight to the bathroom and emptying your stomach.

The middle Archeron held your hair and then helped you going to a guest room, she got you water and the two of you started to make the changes in the recipe, thinking it was the cheese in the tart that made you nauseous.

- - - - -

5 days before the Winter Solstice you agreed to go with Nesta to the library. You two were good friends and always enjoyed spending some time reading nasty books together. 

You were supposed to meet with her fist in the coffee shop, where you could get enough energy to spend the rest of the day reading. The problem was that Azriel came to wake you.

Azriel waking you was the note the problem actually, the real problem was that Azriel was not supposed to be home before lunchtime.

“Hey, babe. Weren’t you supposed to be out there reading about new positions and other filthy things with Nesta?” he asked softly while you looked really confused about what was going on

“Weren’t you supposed to be in a meeting with Rhysand ‘till you go get me for a little pause to lunch between my filthy reading?” your voice was hoarser than usual from sleep

Azriel analyzed you with his eyebrows furrowed, as if not understanding you being in bed and his eyes slid to the window where the sun was at its peak.

The. Sun. Was. At. Its. Peak.

“For the love of the Mother! What time is it?” you asked, losing your balance with the speed you jolted the bed. 

“It’s 1 p.m” your eyes bulged “I went straight to the library as soon as my meeting with Rhys ended. Nesta was alone there. She said you didn’t appear at the coffee shop, so she just grabbed a Grande latte and went to the library, thinking she would find you there. When you didn't, she decided to wait. I came in the library looking for you and she said you didn’t go to your monthly reading club, I headed straight home after that and found you sleeping”

You overslept. Great.

- - - - -

4 days before the Winter Solstice you overslept again, but not like it was the day before. You overslept just enough to not share breakfast with Azriel, what made you sad. Truly sad. So sad that you came down in tears for half an hour before getting up and going to the kitchen.

Your mate left the breakfast for you and a note:

For my sleepy mate

Made your favorite breakfast for today once you are exceptionally tired these days. Hope your day gets better after you eat.

The pancakes are in the oven. 

There is fresh strawberry jelly in the fridge.

Your Azriel

You started crying again.

Gods, why were you so emotional?

- - - - -

3 days before the Winter Solstice you still didn’t have a gift for your mate, what you had instead was an appointment with Madja after feeling sick again after going out to eat dinner with your mate yesterday. 

You felt bad for the healer. It was her rest day today and here you were after feeling sick for days after that cooking section with Elain. You were going to ignore this feeling ‘till the festivities ended, but after you threw up all your dinner, you supposed you could not keep it that way. You always exaggerate eating the Solstice food every year, you thought that, if you were sick for some reason, it would be unpleasant to throw up Elain’s special dinner in front of everyone. That’s why you contacted your High Lady asking if Madja was available for today.

She said she wasn’t, but Madja made an exception and agreed to attend you. So here you are in her medical center.

She asked why you were here and you answered that you just wanted medication for nausea. And then came other questions.

“How long have you been feeling like this?”

“Is it frequent?”

“Are there other symptoms?”

“Do you have morning sickness everyday?”

You answered everything with honesty

“All week”

“Yes” 

“I’m more sleepy than ever. Oh, and I’ve been more emotional” 

“Most days, yes”

Madja then looked at you. Truly looked at you.

Her words would forever be in your mind. You laughed. Than you cried. And than you asked her for a hug.

In the end you went home without that medication, but you finally had an idea of what you could get to Azriel.

- - - - -

It’s finally The Day. Your favorite day of the Year: The night of the Winter Solstice.

Everyone is gathered in Rhys’ and Feyre’s City House. Everything is decorated in the most beautiful way since Cass and Feyre didn't drink before doing it. You passed all day with Elain in the kitchen to help her with the dishes, which she made more changes.

Now, with everything ready and everyone just waiting to start exchanging gifts, you can barely hold your excitement.

As always, Rhys was responsible to keep the gifts safe from curious eyes. Once all the gifts appeared in the center of the room, the fun had began.

Feyre was the birthday girl, so she was the first one to go get her gifts. She loved and thanked everything she got, hugging each one of you.

Cass was the  next, followed by Amrem and Mor.

In your turn, you were more than happy for the jewelry you got from Amrem, the new lacys from Mor, the subscription for 20 books per month in the newest library in Velaris from Cassian, your favorite perfume and moisturizes from Rhys, a new beautiful handmade dress from Feyre, an autographed book from one of your favorite authors from Nesta, a new cute pajamas from Elain, but your favorite one was the personalized music box Azriel got you, which had all the musics that played in your Mate Ceremony, alongside with the music that played when you first met him in a Starfall hosted by the Highlord (Rhysand’s Father).

After you, came Rhys and Nesta. Azriel was the last one.

You watched him as he carefully examined the new dagger he got from Cass, how he nodded at Amrem for his favorite fine wine, the way he hugged Rhys for the new armour,  the smile he gave Nesta for the books, the redness in his cheek from Elain’s’ choice of pajamas (a dark blue simple shirt, but a set of teddy bears printed pants that matched yours), the approval in his face for the choice of color in Mor’s gifted shirt, how his eyes fulfilled with tears seeing you and him accepting your mating bond painted by Feyre and than his reaction to your gift.

It was kind of a thing, letting your mate’s gift be the last open. When he got the little blue box  wrapped with a cute white ribbon, you felt your heart race. He smiled at you before opening it, sensing your jitters and trying to soothe you, by reassuring that he would like anything you got him.

Then he opened it.

You saw his confusion. How his brows furrowed trying to understand what was that.

Then you saw the moment he realized. How his eyes got full of surprise and new tears. His hand came out of the box with it and he looked at you for confirmation.

You nodded, a smile bigger than your face. He looked at that tiny baby clothing and then at you again. In one second, you were seated at the couch, the other, you were in his arms while he hugged you hard, giving you kisses and laughing.

All the rest of the Inner Circle was now commemorating with you two, laughing as well and hugging each other. Soon, there would be a new member in the family. Someone who would bring joy and happiness. 

Still in your mate’s arms, you heard him whisper to you

“This is the best Solstice gift you could ever got me”

[azzieshd]

Headcanons: Cassian

Morning routines

He is the first to wake up, but stay in bed with his arms wrapped around you, brushing his hands against your hair and admiring the such beautiful woman he is mated to.

His hair is a mess after the sleep, but he is so good at fixing it that you've started to ask him to brush your hair either. This is the best part of his morning.

He always wait for you to go to the shower, and always cuddle with you in the bath.

He waits patiently while you chose his clothes. He simply loves when you separate your clothes combined.

And the vision of you using just a towel to cover your body drives him crazy. Well, that obviously take the situation to somewhere else.

You always end the morning routine with another needed shower, and then: breakfast. Now you both are ready to start the day properly!

[azzieshd]

Azriel: Set fire to the rain

You were rescued by the Shadowsinger, and maybe had fallen in love for him. But there is one problem: scars above your body made you completely insecure, making you sure that the spymaster would never love you as you love him. Maybe you are wrong, maybe he will prove it to you.

1.4K words

Warnings: kind angst, insecurity problems

You've started training with the valkyries after one of the priestess invited you. You worked at the library, organizing books and separating lots of paperworks that were needed for searches and other stuff. It's been a while since you got there, rescued by the Shadowsinger after you tried to help those priestesses of one of the temples too near your house.

You remember that day clearly: those screams, the fire and a lot of blood. Rhysand sent his spymaster to save everyone he could by that time, but when he got there, you already had rescued most of them. Asking to the females who had saved them and where the savior was, they told him you came back to the fire because a child was missing, but you were taking too long there.

Going forward the falling building, Azriel found you on the floor, blood in your temple and a huge beam over your body. Catching you in his arms after removing the big shard of timber, he noticed some bruises caused by the contact of your skin with the flaming place. He knew how hard it would be for you to recover. He didn't find the child either.

When you woke up, new scars covered your body. The first person you saw as your savior, he stayed by your side and helped with everything – after asking you some questions.

The trauma was huge and the High Lord offered a place to you, even though your house remained okay, you weren't. You just couldn't hold the lack of the temple and the priestesses, yes, you helped a lot of them, but not all. And there was the kid either, didn't find him and couldn't be able to save him destroyed you. That's why you accepted to work in the library, it was quiet and safe, perfect to your point of view. But staying there for so long, refusing to see the sunlight and catching fresh air, concerned your colleagues, that's why they assumed the training sessions would do you good.

It took you some time to accept it, and when you did it, all your friends were so advanced that you almost gave up. Azriel was the only reason why you kept on.

The illyrian male was so patient and so comprehensible that he made sure to make you as comfortable as it was possible. And with his help, you felt much better than months ago, perhaps you were now very close to the others and much more talkative as you were.

But today was different.

It was summer and the sun was not giving a lull. All of the females were training just with a top, and those who were more shy, were wearing a soft fabric cloth, but still making sure to keep arms free to the natural light. You were another case.

Using your heavy clothes as usual, you're sweating a lot more than the others, and the heat added to a poor breakfast almost made you faint. Now sitting on the floor with a glass of water in your hands, you were trying to breathe properly to go back to the arena. All of your friends worried about you and questioning themselves why you kept your hoodie on such a hot day. Of course they didn't understand, they would never do.

After that day you were never able to look at yourself the same way. All of those females had stunning skins, needless to be shy of showing their arms or their legs, they didn't have horrible marks such as yours.

Seeing you by far, the Shadowsinger were trying to discover what passed through your mind. He got so fucked worried for you when you got pale and almost fell to your knees. Looking upon all the priestesses enjoying the sunlight, his mind clicked.

He observed as you removed nonexistent dust from your hoodie’s sleeve and then his gaze went to his hands covered with gloves. He knew exactly how you were feeling.

Approaching your seated form, he kneeled on the floor and immediately got your attention. You weren't blind, he was beautiful, but you also weren't stupid and knew he would prefer a woman without all the problems you had. You tried so hard to convince yourself that you were just in love by the idea of him saving you and not by his incredible personality, amazing features, indescribable kindness or unbelievable abilities. Maybe tricking yourself would make your heart a little less broken when he assumes he is in love with Gwyneth.

“It's kind of hot in here” he said while trying to catch your eyes, which you were trying so hard to keep away from him.

“It is, indeed” your voice was so weak when you were by his side that you hated yourself for that. Fortunately in this case you would blame the sick feeling.

“You sure you’ll keep this sweatshirt?” He asked, a little apprehensive. The face you must have done just to think about being with your arms to everyone see your scars made Azriel’s eyes sad.

The male inhaled harder than needed, and then started to take off his gloves. Scars, so similar to yours, were now free to everyone’s eyes. He threw the gloves away, unaware of where it had fallen. Your gaze immediately went to his scarred hands, to how he kept his hands open, asking you to touch it.

“I know how you're feeling. It was difficult to me as well, but I promise that you’ll feel much better when you realize that nobody here will talk about that or stare at you.” His voice wasn't loud, but you're sure that everyone in the training ring could hear him. They were all silent, and you’ve seen, by the side of the eye, a little group shift their eyes from you after he said the last part.

You wanted to give him a little smile for what he was doing for you.

“It's difficult…” you whispered, with your eyes now on his. His hazel gaze softened to your weak voice, to your insecurity.

“Let me help you then” with his hands still on your way to take it. And so you did.

You standed and got so close to his body that you could feel his night and cedar smell. Oh, how you loved it.

After looking around to be sure that nobody was looking at you, your hands got the bottom of your hoodie. You were so insecure about that and got so long to start taking it over, that soon you felt two hands upon yours.

Azriel was looking at you, his hands holding yours so delicately. He gave you an encouraging smile, and when you nodded, both of you started to take that piece of cloth. As soon as you felt the sunlight in your skin after months, you closed your eyes and smiled. But when you opened it again and looked at your scars, your smile was gone.

“Hey, do not look at them just like it is horrible. Those scars are there because you’ve saved more than 15 priestesses alone. They don't make you less pretty. To be honest, you're much more beautiful with them.”

Your eyes widened at his words.

“Really?” You were so sure that Azriel would never think of you as a pretty woman. Maybe you were wrong.

“Really.” He smiled at you and then, without even noticing, he started to lead you to the middle of the training area.

He made your train so simple after that, that you haven't even noticed the time or how your body claimed to rest. Azriel spent all the time with you, only with you. The other priestesses glanced time by time just to see how happy the two of you were. After that afternoon, everything changed. You and Azriel became closer, you weren't afraid of showing your scars anymore, it was an important part of you.

Now, when you rush yourself out of the library to go to the training, a different wave of happiness always reaches you as you feel the wind and the sun without that barrier your hoodie used to be. You’ve changed so much since then, going out, making friends and laughing again. Everything was amazing, and a plus: it was at that same training center that the mate’s bond snapped, and of course you couldn't be more happy than you were.

[azzieshd]

Azriel: Pillowtalk

Accepting the mating bond

2.1K words

Warnings: War, injuries, NSFW content, Bad words

Requested by: @agdas3214

You’ve known each other for years, centuries actually. Azriel has always been one of your most cherished friend among the Inner Circle, you talked about everything when spending time together and he was the only person you could trust blindfolded.

Unfortunately, things didn't stay just as friendly as you first wanted, and you fell in love.

You always knew about his passion for Mor, and – before catching feelings for him – tried to help to put them two together as a couple. It was hard for you to keep hearing about his love declarations about another while you could barely stay by his side without sighting.

It took years and more years, and as he was still into Mor, you were still into him.

And then came the War. And you almost died.

The calderon almost got you with all the rest of the army, you also stopped with Cassian when Nesta’s scream was heard, but you didn't stop too fast and part of that awful power hit you strongly.

It took you weeks to recover, days just to wake up and find an Illyrian warrior seated by your side. While you stayed unconscious for 72 hours, Azriel seemed to be awake during this time. His eyes were red and if you didn't know him, you would say he had been crying. He looked tired, exhausted in truth. His hands were in his head while he stayed arched in a chair that didn't look so comfortable.

You don't know if you called by his name or if the shadows told him that you were awake, but it took just two seconds for him to put himself by your side in the bed, close, too close.

"How are you feeling? Any pain?" he asked rapidly, putting his hand in your forehead to feel your temperature.

"Good, just thirsty."

Azriel didn't take too long to hand you a glass of water. You didn't take too long to drink it.

"Did we win?" you asked, eyes pleading for an affirmative answer. He nodded.

"We’ve lost a lot of people and it was hard, but yes, we won. Hybern was defeated"

"That's good. Is a shame that I spent all the time here while everyone was fighting."

"You're alive. That's the only thing that matters" his eyes darkened, just as remembering you almost dying was enough for him. And it was, you just didn't know that.

Azriel told after that Cassian was the one who found your body, your life slipping through. He didn't think twice before grabbing you and going straight to the healers. Azriel just knew about you because Rhys – mind to mind – told him. So he rushed himself out of the combat scene and went to the tent where you stood. His heart broke at the sight of you, covered in blood, wounds open and fainted because of the pain.

It was in that moment, when you were between life and death that the bond snapped, the spymaster felt that gold line that connected you both and as a blink of an eye, he forgot about the war and everything became you, just you. He didn't leave his mate during the next few days.

And so here you are. Listening to everything while trying to bake a cake, Azriel’s favorite cake. You felt the bond yesterday, while looking up to the starfall by his side. He was already looking at you when you turned around to face him. Apparently, the bond wasn't new for him, so you wanted some explanations since there are months that the war ended, hence, months he knows you were made for each other.

Of course you weren't crazy to say “no” for the mate's bond, especially since your mate is the male you are completely in love with. But you have to admit that it is kinda funny to see him desperate as he talks about everything.

The cake is ready. You hand it to your mate. He eats it. Now is the part that he fucks you.

- - - - -

Azriel is famous among the females, he is tall, strong, pretty handsome and his serious face is that kind that makes you wonder if he keeps a concentrated frown while invading you with his cock.

After eating the cake, devouring it actually, he kissed you. A desperate kiss, just as if he couldn't control himself for one more minute. His hands went straight to your waist, then to your tights. He grabbed you in his arms just like you had no weight. It took seconds to get to your room since you were at your city apartment.

Your bed was made. Not a single wrinkle on the sheets. Azriel threw you in the mattress. You had no time to breathe, he already was above you.

First, he left kisses on your neck, then he lifted just inches of your shirt, just to have access to your abdomen. You wanted him to go a little more down. He didn't.

"You drive me crazy (Y/N)" his voice was lower, deeper. You almost heard his control cracking.

He kissed you once more before taking your shirt out completely. It would be a lie if you say that you haven't imagined where things would go between you two after asking for explanations about the mates bond, you made sure to be wearing your favorite bra.

Azriel gasped. His shadows making their way through your body, it was cold, just as if someone was blowing your skin. You loved that feeling. His hands made their way to unbutton the black laced bra, the Shadowsinger gasped once more to your now naked torso.

"So beautiful" said while leading the hands softly to your breasts "And all mine"

Your mate then substituted the hands for his mouth, kissing and leaking your too sensitive tidies, you moaned lowly and hazel eyes immediately went to your face, his mouth doing that one more time, you moaned again, Azriel closed his eyes just as appreciating the sound.

It was taking too long, you needed Azriel more than ever, you could barely remember a time where you needed somebody as much as you needed at that moment. You felt like you could explode if he didn't take all your clothes out with his and take you in that bed. Fuck, you needed that so much that you started pleading.

"Oh, darling, don't be so rushed. We have all the time in the world" his voice was so low, a grim face while he started to lower your pants slowly.

Your panties matched the bra, it gave your body all the credit for highlighting your curves. Azriel didn't take that piece off, not yet.

Tired of waiting that long, you led your hands to his leathers. You had already seen the spymaster shirtless while training with the warlord, but having him with his nude torso right in front of you with you allowed to touch every part of that shaped abs – and more –, was a completely different feeling.

You saw a little smile on your mate's face while you kept yourself busy touching the tattooed skin. He was responsible for taking his own pants out, letting you have a glimpse of his underwear, his cock making an appearance at the black cloth. Your mouth dried. It seems that the wingspan theory was real and you had no idea how that would fit you.

"Like what you see?" He asked while getting closer again.

"A lot…"

Your voice was mere sight, if you both weren't blessed with the hearing of High Fae and Illyrian, you were sure that the confirmation couldn't be heard.

After kissing one more, you felt Azriel's finger inside your panties, searching for your clit, which didn't take too long to be found. Azriel gasped as he found you already wet for him, needless to say that he loved it.

Your breath started to get louder as he started to round his finger in your too sensible spot. You wished to keep this sensation forever, but you needed more. You needed him. Fast.

"Azriel, please" your legs were already shaking "Please, I need you. Please, please, please…"

"Oh baby, calm down. I want to prove every part of you..."

His hazel eyes darkened a bit, he removed his hands of your lingerie, taking it to his own mouth, proving your taste. A sound of approval came out of his throat. After leaking the finger he used to estimulate you, he ripped your underwear out.

"Hey! It was my favorite one!" You complained, but your speech was cut off by feeling the Shadowsinger opening your legs more than it already was.

"I can buy you another."

And that was his last phrase before putting his head between your tights and proving you. His tongue doing an excellent job, leaking and sucking perfectly, leading you to ecstasy, now screaming your lungs out because of the extreme pleasure you felt burning inside of you.

Your tights getting marked because of the pressure he was doing with his big hands. You couldn't keep your own hands to yourself and grabbed his dark hair, pressuring his head a little more close to your intimacy. You didn't make it any longer after he inserted two of his fingers inside of you. It was all too much: his tongue and after his fingers, the phantasmagoric feeling of his hands holding your legs. And when you were too close to come, he stopped.

A moaning of denial came out of you. Your mate was smiling wildly, loving to see how submissive you were in his hands. He didn't say a word when approaching to tour naked and sweaty body, he took one of your hands and led it to his hardness. You felt how big it was, how much he needed you. His underpants were wet by precum. With no time, you started setting his cock free, throwing the undergarment someplace. All of his size came to you sight, but before you could approach yourself to him, he stopped you, his voice even more low and husky:

"Let me come inside of you first" He begged. He was sure that if he had your pretty mouth surrounding his dick, he wouldn't make it too long.

Nodding with your head because you weren't sure your voice would be stable, you silently watched your own body be covered by his toned and wonderful structure. His dick slightly touches your pussy making you feel at the paradise and hell at the same time. First he just played with you, rubbing against your surface, but then he came with all, not giving you time to breathe as he slided all his length into you. A scream came out of your mouth as a surprise. Oh Gods, he was big, huge actually.

A growl came out of him as he was all inside of you. It seemed so perfect that even with all of his size, it didn't take you too much to get costumed, and you were soon filled with the necessity of him moving, which he didn't wait for.

His pace was naturally hard, a loud sound reverberating as his groin hit yours. His movements were getting faster and faster, your hands on his back, scratching right in the middle of the wings, those he kept open and stretched in pleasure, tensed by the wonderful feeling of your tight walls, those ones that you were unconsciously punpering, extending the pleasure for both.

By this time Azriel was wild as an animal, fucking you with all his strength. His mouth opened as curse words were spoken. You couldn't keep yourself quiet, calling out his name, and when you felt too close, your hands slid to his enormous wings, touching that one spot that you knew could make any Illyrian get to their knees. And with a last groan, Azriel and you came together, his semen filling you gorgeously.

You felt empty when he got out of you, making a low last sound make its way out of your throat. Azriel laid by your side in the bed, getting you closer to his chest, where your head rested for a moment before your body started to claim for him again.

The desperation to have Azriel inside of you one more time was almost self-destruction. The frenzy was nonsense, it seemed like you weren't allowed to breathe. You needed your mate, now. Fortunately, he needed you as much as you needed him.

It was needed 3 times in a row for you to fall asleep. You were sure that this would be a long week…

[azzieshd]

Azriel: In the stars

The reason why Azriel is that quiet male

0.8K words

Warnings: Angst, Death

It was the Winter Solstice period, and while nobody was noticing, Cassian went to Feyre’s gallery. He had already bought - almost - everybody's present, except for Azriel. He didn't know what to give to his brother, but then, during a family dinner at Rhys’ house and with all that amount of paintings, he decided.

Was it a good idea? He didn't know. He was afraid of his brother's reaction, but at the same time, thought that he would like it.

Feyre was alone there. Great.

She looked at that tall warrior and smiled as a compliment, he smiled back.

"May I help you with something Cass?" she asked while organizing some canvases

"Well… yes" What was he doing there? It was an idiot idea "Actually, better no!"

"Are you okay?" Feyre stopped what she was doing and went to Cassian’s side. He looked upset, almost in… grief?

After a minute of silence, pondering about that gift again, he spoke:

"I’m trying to think about Azriel’s present for tomorrow, but… I don't know if he would like it…"

"Oh Cass, I bet that he would like anything you give him" she tried to comfort him, not knowing that wasn't a full thought of someone afraid of just giving some bullshit and making the person not liking the gift. It was a bigger fear. Cassian was afraid of breaking his brother.

"It 's not that. I already thought about something, it's just that it is something personal, too personal indeed…"

"Got it. But… you're here because you need my help?"

"Yes. The gift I’m thinking about is a portrait"

Feyre looked surprised by that. What portrait Cassian would like to give to Az that made him so hesitant?

So he showed it to her.

- - - - -

Everybody was in the living room. Mor was the first one to get a present, ripping all the wrapping to get to a complete makeup pallet. Then it was Rhysand's turn with a new handmade suit. Then Amren, Elain, Nesta, Cassian, Feyre and now the last one: Azriel.

All the gifts were separated in piles for each one of the Inner Circle, and not to open up all the presents at once, they opened just one for times. Cassian got tense when his brother caught his present first. Gazing to Feyre, who was in the same way as him now that she discovered almost everything.

The male opened the wrap calmly, revealing the painting slowly. His eyes got bigger as the image was totally revealed:

A beautiful woman, with the brightest hair ever, a big smile on her face, lips in the most beautiful red and those shining eyes. Perfectly painted, all her features represented.

Azriel’s eyes got wet. Hardly holding a sob.

His gaze went to Cassian, then to Feyre. It was his brother's scent in the wrap he opened, but the artist was obviously his High Lady.

When looked back at his brother, he couldn't hold the cry anymore. Going straight to his direction and hugging him so hard that in a few seconds later, both illyrian warriors were crying.

The room got quiet, just Elain and Nesta were above what was happening, but looking at the Spymaster, they could have an idea of who the painting was retreating to.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" the Sahowsinger’s voice was so wrecked that it could barely be heard.

When the hug was over, Azriel looked back to the portrait. That amazing painting of you.

You.

His mate.

His late mate.

He hugged Feyre too. Cassian hadn't told everything about the beautiful female she had to paint, but it was enough to understand who you were to the Spymaster.

And you were his everything. You were the one who could make him laugh easily, you were the one who made him really happy. But you're gone.

You're gone and now Azriel can't smile that easy.

You're gone and now there's something missing in the entire Inner Circle, but mostly in the Shadowsinger’s heart.

You’re gone and now, because of the masterpiece Cassian had ordered to his High Lady, you’re eternalized in a beautiful painting.

So now, Azriel can look at you anytime he wants, because he doesn't need to be scared anymore like he was. Scared of forgetting how your smile was, the exactly shade of your eye’s color and how bright it looked when you were happy.

Maybe now he can feel a little like used to centuries ago, even if he could never feel your heart beating against his chest or hear your laugh. The thought of having just a piece of you made his heart warm.

Oh, how he wondered to have you in his arms again…

[azzieshd]

Azriel: Sweet Child O' Mine

You decide to go to Rita's one night, barely knowing that night would change your life. Keeping a secret for years, you find yourself desperate when a 'hide and seek' game ends up with an unexpected meet.

1.8K words

Warnings: None

You have never thought about being a mother, even more than being the mother of the Spy Master´s son. Not that he knew about the child, but it's still hard to believe that one single night had changed everything in your life.

It was a normal Friday, you had just ended your job at the library when a colleague invited you to meet at Rita's. You were about to say ‘no’, preferring to pass the night at your flat and finally finish that book you have been reading for so long, but you always did that, always with apologies to not meet anyone, they had also stopped to invite you after all the refusal. And when that gentle woman you barely knew the name called you and almost begged you to go, you accepted.

Rita’s was full as you expected, but thankfully there was a table in the corner of the edifice. You sat there with everyone from work and started talking. As not a drinking person, you keeped in water, being the only one all consciousness in the group.

It was only when everyone found their way home or to someone's bed that he came. You decided to wait until to make sure that they were all fine before going home, but he was faster than you. You had even noticed when he came, stopping by your side and starting to talk.

His voice was so deep that your legs almost failed keeping you upright. Of course you knew him, who didn't? It needed just one gaze to know exactly who that tall, strong and intimidating male was. His hazel eyes looking directly to yours as he speaks, could you remember what he was talking about? You bet you couldn't. You couldn't even remember how you ended up in bed with him.

All you could remember was waking up bad weeks after that night. That meeting was a blur in your mind that you thought it was a dream, maybe you decided to drink that time, you already made a different choice when you decided to go out, why not keep on the changes? But as nothing is how you desire, it was not a dream, and you obviously weren't dreaming when the healer told you about the pregnancy.

How lucky, huh? The fae’s difficulty to conceive even after decades of trying, and you ended up pregnant after one single night. You can’t say that you didn’t want to congratulate the Shadowsinger for his accurate and magical seed. But you hadn’t, you hadn’t even had the courage to go look for him when you discovered the baby. In your mind, he wouldn’t believe in you. A female that you met once telling you that you’re going to be a father? No way!

You can’t even prove that he was the only male who you slept with. He was. But he could not believe in your word. He didn’t know you. You were just a night date, nothing more.

And for months, you tried to hide the pregnancy, masking your scent and covering all the marks off not sleeping well. But you’ve got to the point you cannot hide your belly. And when everyone noticed it, they tried to be as friendly as they could. Of course they asked for the father, but it got easier when you said it was a private thing.

Your colleagues got much closer and became friends during that 7 months left. You also gained presents for the baby!

Everyone stayed by your side when the contractions began and a few hours later, a tiny black haired - and winged - boy came to the world. He was perfect and you loved him since the first time you looked at him.

Now, at 5 years old, it is harder to lie about his father’s identity. Ares is just like his father. Even the shadows! But that part you keep as a secret. At work, people are always telling how the boy looks like the Spy Master of the Night Court, the skin tone, the hair, the nose, the hazel eyes… In fact, you couldn’t believe that anyone put all together and found out the truth, that Ares does not look like the Shadowsinger for coincidence, but because he is his son.

And today, playing with him at the park near the Rainbow, you find yourself desperate. Ares is not as expert on using his shadows, and you couldn’t teach him about it because you know nothing about, and when playing hide and seek with the little, you’ve just watched him winnow in the shadows.

Screaming your lungs out, you’re looking for him for 40 minutes and nothing.

- - - - -

The Inner Circle had just visited Feyre in the gallery; she decided to make an exposition with some paintings of her learners to find more children inclined to enjoy the group. They had just quit the building and decided to walk through the Rainbow for a while as it was early for lunch. When walking near a dance studio, a lost boy just walked in their direction.

He had wet cheeks and was looking everywhere. Shadows swirling around his little body. The boy stucked in place when he saw the group staring at him. His voice a whisper when he started talking:

"I’m lost to my mom. I was at the park with her, we were playing hide and seek. It was my turn to hide, they told me they could help" he pointed to the shadows that capt surrounding him "But mom hadn’t found me yet, and now I’m scared, I want her back."

His little hazel eyes got full of tears and he started to cringe. Shadows turning darker as the smell of fear appeared.

It was Azriel who gave the first step in his direction. Eyes fixed to the little boy’s features. Everyone in the Inner Circle was too surprised to do something.

"What’s your name?" his voice was soft, but everyone could notice the shaking on it.

"Ares" he whispered, stepping back when that winged man got closer.

"Hello Ares, I’m Azriel" he stared at the kid’s apprehensive posture and then to his shadows "Look, I have shadows too" he stood one single finger and a line of shadow screwed on it "They also tell me somethings…"

"Really?" the boy didn’t stepped back when Azriel tried to get closer again "I’ve never met anyone like me"

"Me either, and I’m a 500 years man" told the Shadowsinger, trying so hard to get his trust. The kid laughed, and that sound made Azriel’s heart melt "Would you let me find your mother with you?"

Ares looked up at the male’s face and agreed. That made Azriel breathe with more facility. Of course he would help a kid find a mother, whoever was the kid, but that one specially, he needed to find the mother, he needed to know who she was.

Offering a hand, and being uncomfortable with the thought that the kid would find his scarred hand disgusting, he almost fell on his knees when the little boy accepted it with a smile. Azriel didn’t need to say a word to his family when started to walk with the kid, everyone knew why he was so desperate to help him.

"You’ve told you were in a park…" Azriel told, hoping he could say more about the place and go there easy

"Yes, it was in the Rainbow" Ares answered, curious eyes looking at all those coloured buildings

"We are near than" he knew every single street from Velaris, so he could easily walk the boy tho wherever it was the park, but it was a relief to know that Ares’ mother was in the Rainbow either. Ares was shy, Azriel notice. He didn’t say a word during the path, just keeped holding his hand, not wanting to get lost again.

When they got close to the park, Azriel could hear desperates calls for Ares. And when the boy released his hand and ran in your direction. Azriel felt his heart stop. It was you, with all of your beauty.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you for months! Your hair, your lips, your eyes, your voice, your smell… everything was perfect for him and he didn’t even know how or why his body just claimed to be with you that night. Of course you’re beautiful, but there was another thing that made his soul claim to you.

And seeing your eyes full of tears, crying while you hugged Ares with all of your strength, being sure that he was truly there. All of your care for the kid, looking for bruises in that little body, kissing his cheeks and hugging him again… he felt his heart ache, that was a scene to be appreciated but also a private scene, he felt guilty for watching it.

"Who- Who found you?" You stuttered, relief in your voice

Ares didn’t answer in words, he just pointed to the man who walked him back to you. And when your eyes found his, when you realized that your son’s father was the responsible to bring him back to you and that his eyes were full of something you could not say properly what it was, your chest got heavy of all the emotions someone could feel.

You stood up, tears all over your face. You didn’t thought, didn’t controled yourself, you just threw your body onto his and hugged him, sobbing as he was so surprised that didn’t know what to do with his hands.

"Thank you… Thank you so much!" Your body was shaking so hard that Azriel thought you’re about to faint. He finally knew what to do, and then pressed his arms around your body, so tiny near his.

He inhaled your scent once again after years, and finally felt himself complete. Your own heart beatted differently as you felt it.

The mate’s bond.

Looking up at him, you saw his smile. His eyes were full of love as he separated the hug and looked at your son, at his son. Happiness all in the air as you think about how everything could be now on.

Ares came near to you two and grabbed both legs, looking straight to your’s and then Azriel’s eyes, they looked so similar that seeing them together was unbelievable.

"Can we have lunch with my savior guy? I liked him" Ares tell as you smile at him and then look at the male, your mate, who now have tears in his eyes

"Something tells me that we will have lunch together more times…"

Azriel nods with his head and you laugh quietly as Ares looks upon one another, with his shadows whispering to him that this is just the beginning of a life full of happiness.