eating a fucking toaster, bro.

18+ my place to try and relearn how to be my weird chaotic unhinged self again <3

[theweirdwideweb]

[bidgeovertroubledwater]

[stella-draws-things]

[b0ngwaterespresso]

me at the function tbh

[redstonedust]

netizen is a really cute word for Person On The Internet im surprised i dont see it used in more english language stuff. lets all be netizens of tumblr together.

[fairycosmos]

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[dragon-in-a-fez]

let's...vinegar....with mama??

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Larry is 19. The next PM may well be his last, and you know his death will be an omen on that administration.

[bliss-bliss-bliss-bliss]

The oldest cat out there is 30. Larry could conceivably see a dozen PMs - and possibly a second monarch - come and go before he shuffles off this mortal coil. like to charge reblog to cast etc

[becherdireinen]

if you’ve lost your spark, this is the year to find yourself again and get yourself back. wishing you all a safe return to yourselves.

[rigorwhoretis]

If I had a penis I would say “aaannnnddddddd we’re in” during sex like they do in movies when hacking into the mainframe

[blue0909]

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

[miketon]

[im-literally-so-dun]

Me because I got to witness a major historic event but it was a Good One for once

[schrodingers-catboy750]

I wanna sit under your desk and do silly stuff with my mouth to distract u while you work (i am chewing electrical cords)

[henrykathman]

Thanks to my brother for telling me about this story. [Alt text below]

Back-scratching bovine leads scientists to reassess intelligence of cows

Brown Swiss in Austria has been discovered using tools in different ways – something only ever seen in humans and chimpanzees

[Alt Text: Original comic created by cooltimeonline. A man laying on a therapist's couch, talking to the logo of the Guardian, "Oh the Guardian, I'm just feeling real low." The Tv shows a picture of the cow from the article and responds, "COW TOOLS CONFIRMED," gaining the man's attention, who says, "Oh shit, for real?]

[puc-puggy]

[sin-aestheticx]

unfortunately i am a fool every day of the year

[softheartedbrat]

if u look in the mirror & say my name three times i will come smoke all ur weed

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"thought crimes aren't real, it's your actions that matter" and "your mindset informs how you treat others, so you should try not to have a shitty one" are another pair of things that are both true btw

[taurzza]