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synopsis: amongst your bad habits of not answering your phone, menthol cigarettes and your fear of thunderstorms was kim sunoo — sweet, refreshing, and holding your heart in the palm of his hand.
genre: estranged friends to ??? ; angst, smut, tiniest fluff.
pairing: childhood best friend!kim sunoo x grad student!reader
word count: 7.7k
rating: 18+. readers do not interact.
warnings: swearing, smoking, mentions of cigarette warnings. mentions of reader's inner turmoil about leaving home. thunderstorms, petnames (baby, pretty, angel, etc.) smut warnings: semi-clothed sex, kissing, dry humping, ruined orgasms, crying (good! not bad) begging, clitplay/fingering (f.rec), a butthole is touched bc why not, breastplay/nippleplay...like a lot of it ; brief masturbation (m) ; unprotected sex, missionary; squirting, pull-out game strong.
what to listen to: wherever you will go - the calling ; circles - pierce the veil ; ribs - lorde ; bags - clairo ; i wanna be yours - the arctic monkeys ; say - keshi.
author's note: i don't know what this is, i'm not going to lie to y'all. if it's bad please don't tell me. i'm so sorry for posting this so late, but i couldn't post something i didn't have my heart set on; not for sunoo! happiest birthday to my beloved sunshine, i love u! ♡
YOUR LIMBS FEEL HEAVY UNDER THE WATER, AND IT'S NEARING MIDNIGHT AS YOU SINK INTO THE FREEZING COLD OF IT.
Your backyard is too familiar and yet, you feel like a stranger as you wade in the large pool. You remember spending all your time in this pool, your parents having it built especially for you when you were growing up. You begged and begged and begged, your father finally caving shortly after your tenth birthday. Since then, your house became Pool Party Central every summer – until you left for college.
And you hadn't come home aside from your winter break freshman year. You came home and felt miserable; getting horrible waves of FOMO while watching your friends celebrating the new year at massive house parties while you were sitting in the living room with your parents and sipping sparkling cider.
You spent that summer telling your parents you had a job – which you didn't, you were just partying day-in and day-out with your roommates. You didn't come back for the holidays again, claiming sickness and begging them not to make the three-hour trip to bring you anything. They never asked too many questions, but you could see the waning trust in the back of your father's eyes as you faked sick during your junior year break again – only to call you a few days later and ask why there was a charge for a ticket to Jakarta on your mother's credit card.
Safe to say, you spent your winter break in your student apartment that year and cried yourself to sleep out of anger every night.
You were now free from your first year of graduate school – choosing to extend your stay on the island hours from where you used to call home. You spent holidays with friends and boyfriends, you spent summers lifeguarding at a nearby waterpark and you got an apartment all to yourself – no roommates and the ability to be as loud as you wanted.
However, you couldn't lie to yourself – you felt…lonely. You felt alone, missing the taste of your mother's home cooked meals filled with so much love and spice. You missed hearing your father's piano tunes, and singing along to whatever song he chose to play at night before dinners. You missed the comfort of the king sized bed that inhabited your bedroom upstairs, across the hall from the only guest room in the house. Your parents slept downstairs, leaving the entire upstairs to you.
You caved two days after school let out for the summer – calling your father while you wrote a check for the rent. You'd send the other two for the rest of the summer in the mail, if your parents said yes to you coming home and spending the summer with them.
He was rather nonchalant on the phone – his voice a bit bored, even, as you excitedly told him about the internship you'd scored for the following year that could potentially turn into your full time job. He reluctantly agreed to you coming down for the summer, but didn't tell you that they'd be out of the house for four weeks following your arrival.
Probably because they didn't think you were serious about coming up. You'd done this twice, your sophomore year and your senior year. You promised you'd go up for festivities, only to travel up for a graduation party, stay for three days and then tell them you were going back to campus for summer courses and your lifeguarding temp.
So when you made the drive down that following Thursday, you found yourself holding a suitcase that had enough swimsuits and skimpy clothing to last you all summer – and staring deep into the eyes of the boy that you grew up with, Kim Sunoo. His hair was growing into his eyes, dyed black and his ears sparkled with silver jewelry in the setting summer sun. You were dressed in a frumpy t-shirt and your favorite jean shorts that always rode up your thighs a bit too high.
He wasn't ever anyone you felt the need to dress up for – you'd spent your entire life watching him grow up, awkward by your side. He flirted with girls and you cringed, he got girlfriends and you gagged. You wore short skirts and he covered you with his jacket, you went on a bad date and he picked you up, swooping in to take you to ice cream after.
He'd help you sneak out, he'd taught you how to ride a bike, he'd given you the first bouquet of flowers in your entire life. He was your date to every school dance, and there was a picture of the two of you holding each other in triumph at your high school graduations. He gave you advice on guys when you'd ride your bike over to his house, and you'd complain while hanging off the side of his bed as he tried to study. He'd speed over on his skateboard if you were feeling shitty, always bringing a backpack full of snacks and always making you feel better.
Even when the girls he talked to had more to say about you than themselves, their eyes narrowed when they'd see you walking with him or even when he started driving the two of you to and from school. Like they were scared you'd take him, like they didn't understand that you and him were always and would always be platonic.
Sunoo got into Seoul National University, not even half an hour away from where your families resided and where you grew up. You got into school on Jeju Island – which was a lot more than just a hop, jump and a skip away. Your parents had been worried, but Sunoo patted your back and told you he'd try to visit as often as he could.
You could say he was something of a best friend, but really…he's just Sunoo.
Even when he suddenly made your stomach fill with a bursting of butterflies that one holiday break all those years ago – his eyes soft, and warm, and screaming I missed you. You didn't speak to him again after you dropped off his present, even making it a point to leave his house early with the excuse that your mother needed help baking the holiday cookies you would be dropping off to his family later that week. He offered to walk you home, and you quickly declined – hopping back on your bike and getting home faster than you ever had in order to dry heave over the toilet with the fear of liking the 'boy next door' for the first time in over two decades of friendship.
Sunoo never did make it down to Jeju Island with the intention of visiting you – his breaks occupied by his friends, his family, and his girlfriend, Minseo. His summers consisted of hefty internships, dance recitals, skincare dates and spa retreats.
Sunoo built his life without you in it and was content with it, only moving up and on – and you watched all of it unfold on Instagram. Trips to the island where he didn't come visit, where he kissed his girlfriend on the beach and took loads of pictures of them getting lost in the maze parks.
Until all those photos were taken down two years ago; his profile was barren of any trace of her. It was like she'd never existed, and Sunoo posted sporadically – pictures of his dog, of his friends and his older sister that taught you how to curl your hair. Pictures of food and places he visited, and last year – a happy birthday post on his story for you.
You hadn't spoken in years until that point.
"Sunoo?"
He'd eyed you – he was another person you hadn't seen since you left for college after that fateful winter break during freshman year. You'd given him a Christmas gift that year – a silver ring that sat snugly on his thumb. It made your heart lurch forward, your hand tightening around the handle of your suitcase and – more evidently – around the strap of your backpack. He'd glanced at it, before the heat of his eyes trailed over your face and he tilted his head to the side.
"Your parents aren't here."
He let you in, almost reluctantly, and explained that they had talked to his parents about your behavior over the last few years. They'd hit their breaking point when you'd dismissed their efforts at welcoming you home after graduation, your mother simply shutting the door to your bedroom and coming to terms with the fact that you were just outgrowing the pink trim of the walls and the gifted plushies on your bed from Christmases and birthdays past.
He also explained that they'd asked him to house-sit, and he was staying upstairs in the guest room. He didn't say anything about your guilty eyes, or the way you stiffened when his hand brushed your thigh as he grabbed your suitcase from next to you and hauled it upstairs.
"How long are they going to be gone?"
He told you they'd be gone until mid-July, that you were welcome to stay. He didn't care, his own parents had gone with them and all his friends were dispersed across the world – Sunghoon was in Taipei, on an internship he begged for at the last minute. Jake had gone home to Australia, Riki and Jay booked a trip to Japan to tinker around (dragging Heeseung with them) and Jungwon had gone on vacation with his family.
"They didn't invite you?"
"I turned them down when your mom asked me to take care of her plants. My parents are also on the cruise, anyway, so it's not like I had much going on."
He shrugged it off then like it was nothing, and you were now staring at the gloomy sky from your spot in the pool – full of dark rain clouds gathering as he tinkered around in the sun room behind you. You grimaced as you neared the edge of the pool, a fat drop of rain water pelting your back as you pulled yourself out. You quickly grabbed your towel, wrapping it around your waist as the rain started falling harder, splashing into the pool as you slipped into the sunroom.
Sunoo is quiet, only looking up from the record in his hand when you shut the door with a huff. You cross your arms on your chest, staring at the lighting spearing through the sky and jumping at the predictable rumble of thunder. You frown, ducking away from the door as the sound shakes the glass and grabbing the box of cigarettes off of the side table. You don't bother to say anything when he scrunches his nose as you flick your lighter, cracking the door open just an inch with your toe to let the smoke out. Taking a deep drag, you feel the cool menthol coat the back of your throat, a shiver running down your spine as you blow the smoke outside.
"Still scared of the storms, huh?"
"Just because I left, doesn't mean I changed."
"Oh, but you did." He murmurs, slipping the record into the player gingerly. He messes with the needle, dropping it carefully and the intro of Henry James' It's Been A Long, Long Time fills the sunroom. He slides into the chair that your mother usually occupies, the sunroom belonging mostly to her and her plants, her records, her occasional cigarette…a habit you wound up picking up, too.
"You've changed a lot, angel."
"Don't call me that."
You tongue your cheek as you stare back outside, a bit of nerves settling in your skin as the wind grows stronger, leaves being blown off surrounding trees as you shift your weight from foot to foot. You flick the ash off the end of your cigarette, holding it between your fingers before taking another drag, letting the smoke fill your chest as you watch the dark clouds roll above the house you once called home.
"Why didn't you ever come back?"
"Why did you go to the island with your girlfriend and not visit me?"
He sighs, and you glance over your shoulder to see his eyes glued to the monstera right behind you. He runs a hand over his face, before shaking his head.
"She wouldn't have understood."
"What is there to understand? Friendship?"
He glanced up at you, his head tilted slightly to the side as he ran his eyes down your body. His eyes stopped at your chest, the black bikini hardly doing anything to cover you as you tighten your arms around yourself.
"Minseo had known about you for a while. She saw you leave my house when you came over to give me my gift during freshman year." He speaks, his eyes averting to the glass ceiling. His eyes follow the pelting rain, fingers clasped gently in his lap before he moves his gaze back to you.
"We had a fight about it. She knew who you were because of all the pictures in my room, all the stories my mom told at dinner. She asked me what you got for me and when I showed her, she said she'd leave me if I didn't get rid of it. I never did, and she left a year later."
Your eyes flicker to the ring that was snug on his thumb, his fingers toying with it and pulling it off. He rubs his fingertip against the inside before he slips it back on, twisting it until the engraved flowers on the head face him. He runs his thumb over it, before looking up at you.
"...I'm sorry. I didn't know."
He only smiles, before standing up and taking the needle off the record. He slips it back into the cardstock case, sliding it back onto the pile your mother keeps neatly stacked on the shelf. He glances over his shoulder, speaking softly but you know he means it.
"Of course you didn't. I didn't tell you."
And for once, you don't hear the words you weren't here. I didn't tell you take their place, and you feel your heart sink at the realization that even when you know he's hurt that you never came back – that he's protecting your feelings, and keeping you safe in a glass house that people are craving to cast stones at.
He gives you a curt nod, before slipping into the main room of the house. You watch as he slinks up the stairs, his hands tugging his white t-shirt over his head just as he reaches the top. He stops to flip it right side out, your eyes running up the expanse of his back, stopping at the dip of his spine into his jeans before he takes a left turn and disappears into the upstairs level.
You sigh, grimacing at the wet feeling of your bikini as you throw your towel over the back of your mother's chair. You take one last puff of your cigarette, putting it out fully in one of the ashtrays your mother left laying around. You fumble with the strings that hold the bottom, untying them as you make your way into the house and up the stairs. Sunoo isn't in the hallway when you get up the steps – the hall bathroom door is slightly ajar and you hear the water running as you duck into your room.
The pink sheets are something you've outgrown, yes – but they're so nostalgic. They make you feel at home as you run your hands over them, loose threads that should've been clipped long ago tangling in your fingers. Plushies that get too hot at night to cuddle with strewn around the bed, your chest warming at the sight of the first one of the collection – a soft, baby blue bunny, a gift from Sunoo's mother to yours when you were born.
After all, Mrs. Kim was something of a best friend to your mother – her platonic soulmate, if you will. Just…Mrs. Kim.
Sighing, you slip into your bathroom and toss your bottoms into the empty hamper, not bothering to mess with the ties of your top as you slip the halter over the top of your head and shimmy it down your body. You kick it off, tossing it into the hamper as you make your way to the jacuzzi your mother had installed while you were away at college – one of the gifts she surprised you with when you came home for Christmas during freshman year.
You mess with the settings, making the water a smidge too hot as you toss in a healthy amount of epsom salt to soak in.
You sink in, and you think.
You think about Sunoo and the mere idea of him, and how he's always been a constant in your life. He's always been someone you can count on, someone you can trust, someone you went to when you needed help with math homework and someone who wiped your face of crumbs and smeared red pepper paste. Someone who comforted you, who bickered with you, who called you on your shit and never let anything go unless you apologized.
Sunoo…he was something of a best friend. Strong, dependable, emotional. He was something of a best friend – trustworthy, who always had an umbrella and carried spare earrings in his bag in case you forgot to put yours on in the morning before leaving for school. He was something of your best friend; gentle hands holding yours as you crossed the streets together, careful fingers fixing your twisted necklaces, warm embraces when the rumbles of thunder shook the walls of your home and he was there. He was there, snuggled next to you in your bed and rocking the two of you back and forth with soothing shushes from his lips; your face buried into his chest with ragged breaths and his fingers tangling in your hair as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
Sunoo was there – even when he wasn't. When you wore noise-canceling headphones and hugged yourself to sleep during storms, when you found a pair of silver hoops in your purse after hopping on the bus to your lecture, when you fixed your necklaces in the mirror. He was there, always.
You wonder how easily it could be to fall back into routine with him…as if you'd never left. As if the stormy embraces were still available, as if he'd still hold you close without a second thought.
Similarly, you were there for him. He carried you with him, in everything he had – his Instagram posts proudly displayed the ring you got him for Christmas, the necklace you got him when you were sixteen and got your first paycheck from your first job. The lip balm he wore was a vanilla mint one that you introduced him to when you were in middle school, his fingernails always coated in a nice, shiny layer of clear lacquer after you started giving him manicures in grade seven. Skincare nights that turned into routine for him, watching his room get fuller and fuller of nice products in the background of his Instagram story selfies.
Sunoo spoke about you fondly, not that you had to know – the friends he made in college all knew of you; pictures, videos, stories. His family spoke about you so often, the boys wondered if you were some sort of mythical creature – one only the Kims could see, conjured out of their minds because you were never around.
Sunoo only ever said you were busy, the feeling of you being so far from him bitter on his tongue. Your name was bitter, the mention of you, the sound of your name from other people. The smell of the perfume you wore everyday, one you lost in his bedroom so many years ago that now sat on his dresser because he was too scared to give it back after years of missing you and spraying it on his pillow.
You stare at the ceiling, hearing the water in the bathroom stop just as you hear the crack of lightning across the sky. You swear you hear Sunoo make a sound that seems to need a response from you, your body instinctively humming rather loudly in response. You sigh, covering your eyes as you pull the jacuzzi plug out with your toes. You shiver slightly as the water starts to drain, leaving you exposed as you force yourself out of the tub.
The shower is fast, your hands trembling with every rumble of thunder that rolls in the sky, doing everything possible not to get your hair wet as you rinsed yourself off. You stumble out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped tightly around you, pulling random articles of clothing out of your half-filled dresser. You shoved your head through the t-shirt, ignoring the hole near the belly button as you pulled on a pair of pajama shorts you hadn't worn since high school.
"You okay in there? Storm's getting pretty bad." Sunoo knocked on your door, and you nodded – before realizing he couldn't see you. You make a noise of affirmation around your toothbrush, before hearing him walk across the hall and close his door behind him. You run a hand over your face, popping open your suitcase to fish out your headphones. They're not there, and you roll your eyes, pulling your backpack onto the bed and opening it – laptop, chargers, extra cigarettes, wallet…
No headphones.
"You're fucking kidding me." You mutter to yourself, crouching next to your suitcase and taking everything out. No headphones in sight – you slump against the side of your bed as another rumble of thunder rolls in the sky. You huff, shoving everything back in the suitcase – throwing the cigarettes onto your nightstand – and forcing yourself to get over it. You walk back into the bathroom to spit out your toothpaste, rinsing your mouth out just as the winds of terror make the windows shake.
You slide under the covers of your bed, your phone clenched in your hand as you burrow as deep as the duvet will allow. You put on a random movie, hoping to distract yourself when another crack of lightning is heard. You cover your ears with your hands, grumbling to yourself as the window rattles harder.
The wind is strong, and you hear a soft knock on your door before the unoiled hinges creak open. You pull your duvet down slightly, looking up to see a slightly amused Sunoo.
"Scoot over."
"Go back to your room."
"Don't be a brat. Move."
You scowl, about to retort when a particularly loud roll of thunder practically shakes the house. You surrender reluctantly, scooting yourself towards the wall as Sunoo slides under your duvet. Your bare leg rubs against the soft fabric of his sweatpants, and he turns on his side moving the duvet out of the way for you to inch into his chest. You glance up at him, your hands clammy as you clear your throat.
"You don't have–"
"Come on."
His brow is furrowed slightly, eyes holding a hint of sleepiness as you silently scoot into his arms. He wraps the one on the bed around your shoulders, the other sliding up your back and pulling you close. You keep your hands to yourself, feeling his hand on your shoulder gently moving your hair out of your face.
His thumb strokes the skin of your cheek, and you both remain silent as the rain only keeps pouring. He doesn't fall asleep, but his breathing is steady as he rubs soothing circles into your back – your eyes heavy as you look up at him.
"Are you mad at me?"
"Hm?"
He glances down, a quirk in his brow as a flash of lightning illuminates the room. You grimace at the murky shadows, before looking back up at him. His eyes are confused…and tired.
"Because I didn't come back. Are you mad?"
"Mmh, no."
He blinks, shifting slightly. His chin rests on the top of your head, letting out a sigh as his fingers trace figure eights into your back.
"I think…I convinced myself you wanted space. You'd come back when you were ready. I don't think it was right of you to treat your parents the way you did, but that's between you and them."
You hum in response, "I haven't told them I'm here, either. I think I became so used to them just being there without any reciprocation on my part that I forgot that they…they need to feel loved, too."
You move your head back, scooting up slightly until you can meet his eyes without straining your neck. He watches you silently, his eyes darting to the way your arms are tucked into your chest.
"I'm sorry for not visiting you, either, though. And I'm sorry about Minseo."
He shakes his head, "Don't be. What's meant to end, will. I wish her the best but I think we both knew it just wasn't going to work when she started getting upset that my mom talked about you so much. It was a little odd to see her so angry at someone who wasn't even around."
You frown, "I'm sorry. It's funny, because it wasn't until I left for college that I realized…you're kind of like…my best friend."
He snorts, "Yeah, I thought that had been established a while ago. There's only so much proximity that can be forced, angel."
Scoffing, you push his shoulder lightly. "Stop calling me that, I told you already. I'm not one of your little friends."
"I should, you're the devil incarnate. Abandoning me is a sin, you know." He huffs, before closing his eyes and sinking into your pillow. "Now go to sleep."
You peer up at him through your lashes, tracing his features in the darkness. You can make out the soft slope of his nose, the arch of his brow bone…the pillow softness of his lips.
"Stop staring at me."
"I'm not staring."
"Sleep."
You close your eyes with a sigh, limply lolling your head against his arm but you're not tired. In fact, you're almost too awake, if it's possible. Too awake, too aware of the soft jasmine of his signature scent filling your nose.
Thunder rolls overhead, making you flinch before feeling the warmth of his palm run over the small of your back. He pulls you slightly closer, lips ghosting at your hairline before pressing a soft kiss to it.
"When did you pick up smoking?" He mumbles, his nose scrunching as he pulls away. You feel your cheeks heat in embarrassment, but you clear your throat anyway.
"Uh…a while ago. I can't remember."
"Those things kill, you know. Smoking accounts for five percent of–"
"Sunoo."
He snorts tiredly, before you feel him pout on your forehead. "Your hair smells like cigarettes. I miss your shampoo."
"You can get out, you know." You scoff, pushing him away lightly before he wiggles back against you, his face buried into your hair and arms wrapped tightly around you. You pretend your heart doesn't jolt in your chest, draping your arm over his slim waist with an exaggerated sigh.
"But I've missed you so much." He murmurs, his fingers tracing circles into the back of your shirt. The thunder outside is so loud that you almost don't hear him, but you move your head back to look up at him. He peers down at you with tired eyes, almost amused at how wide awake you were. "Not tired, huh?"
"I don't think I could sleep if you paid me." You admit quietly, the wind outside stilling momentarily as you scan his face. He nods silently, pressing his forehead to yours, his lashes tickling your brows as you scrunch your nose. "You can go to sleep, if you want. I'm just gonna have a late start tomorrow."
"Or we can tire you out so you can't complain about missing prime tanning hours tomorrow." He jests, but something in his eyes is different. It makes your stomach flutter, but you nod as much as you can with his face against yours. "I usually walk around the house when I can't sleep."
"I am not getting up, I've missed this." You whisper, a warm smile crossing his lips as he lets out a soft laugh. "Don't laugh at me, I'm being vulnerable."
"Did you miss me?" He asks gently, his hand moving to trace the curve of your brow. The pads of his fingers are light against your skin, making your arms prickle with goosebumps as he nosed at your face. You swallowed hard, clearing your throat as he repeated himself. "Did you miss me, angel?"
You swear his lips brush yours as he looks into your eyes, the amber of his own darker than you'd ever seen them before. You internally curse at yourself for the way your thighs clench lightly, your mind convincing you he could feel it from the sheer proximity between you. His hand on your back slides down, cautiously circling your thigh before pulling it over his hip. You instinctively hook your leg around him, scooting impossibly closer as he gently caressed the bare skin beneath his fingers. Your words tumble out before you can think about them.
"If I say yes, will you kiss me?"
"You don't have to say anything but yes for me to kiss you."
You glance up at him through your lashes, his own glazed in hints of longing as he scans your face. His eyes linger on your lips, your heart thundering as your tongue darts out to wet your lips. He can't help but watch the motion, his hand on your leg squeezing almost too hard, but you don't care as he lets out a shaky breath. His lips brush yours again, your body jolting slightly as the air between you becomes too hot to ignore; even as your lips touch his when you finally speak.
"I missed you, Sunoo."
The kiss feels like the noise-cancellation of your headphones. The feeling of his soft lips slotted with yours feel like the world around you has melted away, the feeling of his hand on your back sliding under your shirt to soothe the urge to touch you is almost too much. His fingers are warm against your skin, but they still make your skin prickle with excitement as he kisses you like you mean something to him, more than just his friend. More than just the girl who left three-hundred miles south and never visited, leaving him to miss her as the tulips bloomed, as the monsoons flooded the streets and the frigid winds killed off any sign of natural life.
More than just the girl he longed for as the seasons changed, even if you didn't know.
His tongue licks into your mouth gently, swallowing the soft whine from your throat as you clenched around nothing. Your growing arousal was making your shorts stick to you uncomfortably as he sucked on the tip of your tongue, your hands fisting the fabric of his shirt tightly. He shifts slightly, moving his arm around your shoulders between you to hold your neck in his hand, his thumb lightly digging into your jaw as his other hand kept you still while he gave an experimental roll of his hips against you.
The feeling of his half-hard cock bumping your clit through the dampening fabric of your shorts made you suck in a breath. He smiled into the kiss, not saying anything as you tried for more, his hand on your thigh keeping you pressed tightly to him. You pull your head back slightly, away from his lips as he nips at you.
"S-Sunoo–"
"We don't have to do anything, angel. It's all up to you."
"No, please. I want it, want you." Your voice is raspy, a little desperate as your hand twisted in his shirt as he smiles softly, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. "Touch me, please, touch me. Anywhere."
"Anywhere I want?"
"Please, please–"
"So pretty when you beg." He teases, his hand around your throat trailing down your chest, before you feel the pad of his thumb brush over your nipple. You keen, embarrassedly pushing your chest into his hand as he laughs. He runs his thumb over the stiffened bud roughly, watching how your mouth falls open with weak sounds slipping from your throat. "Sensitive here? What if I…"
He pinches it between his fingers, the added friction of your shirt making your hips jolt against him and a choked moan that sounds almost too much like a whimper falls from your lips. His hand on your leg slides up to match the other in cupping your breasts, his fingers giving a soft squeeze before running his thumbs over your nipples. You force yourself to keep your hips still, biting down on your lip as he pulls the fabric of your shirt taut over the pebbled nubs, before seeing his head dip down slightly and feeling the heat of his warm tongue run over one. His fingers continue to roll your clothed nipple through his fingers as he sucks the other through the fabric, and you let out a loud whine as you feel his teeth pull on it gently.
He pulls back, his fingers pulling your shirt up and bunching it around your chest when you feel his lips ghosting over your skin. Your skin prickles with goosebumps as he runs one of his hands down your soft belly, before hooking his arm around your hips and giving a gentle roll of his own against you. He smiles into your skin as he hears a whiny breath, watching the way your stomach caves in slightly, the way your thigh around him tightens as he continues to grind his clothed cock against your wet shorts.
"I should make you cum just like this, maybe make you beg a little more. Shouldn't even take your clothes off, huh?"
His fingertips dip into the waistband of your shorts as he carefully wraps his lips around one of your nipples, sucking as his fingers grab a fistful of your ass. He switches from one nipple to the other, swirling his tongue expertly as he keeps a mind-rotting slow pace of his cock against your clothed clit, the fabric between you doing nothing as you soak into his sweatpants and melt into a moaning mess above him. You're so wet that it's starting to spread around your thighs and against the edge of your ass, and you feel like a plaything at his mercy, your fingers moving from his shirt to curl in the dyed tresses of his hair. You pull slightly as he sucks, feeling him moan against your skin before he drags his teeth against the bud in his mouth, only soothing it with a swirl of his tongue.
His hand in your shorts pushes the back of them down slightly as he reaches further, the tips of his fingers sliding through your drenched folds and dipping slightly into your hole. You squirm, trying to angle your hips to get them deeper but he only works them in shallowly, curling them into you before taking them out. He smears your arousal all over your folds, before slowly dragging his hand between your cheeks. He rubs the pad of his middle finger over the puckered hole tentatively, taking it away just as fast and making your cunt clench around nothing.
"Sunoo." You whine, his lips trailing up your chest. He nips at your jaw as you tug at his hair, feeling him suck in a breath before he runs his tongue along the curve of your neck. "Losing patience already, angel?"
"Fuck me." Your voice is no higher than a whisper, your hips still rocking against his as he lets out a sound of understanding. He presses a kiss under your ear, his slick fingers holding your hip as he makes his way to your lips. He teasingly runs the tip of his tongue along the seam of your pout, and you lose all sense of shame as you suck on it when he finally slides it into your mouth. His cock is painfully hard between your thighs, sweatpants wet with your arousal as you whimper into his mouth. "Want you to fuck me. Please, please…"
You trail off as his hand snakes back down between the two of you, kissing you messily as he slips his fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts. He stops rocking against you, instead circling your clit with two of his fingers and making you grind against his hand involuntarily. Your fingers tighten around his hair, a sob falling from your lips as you feel him move faster, your thighs trembling as your orgasm soaks his hand and sheets below you. You bury your face into his neck as he lets out a soft groan, toying with your clit even as you breathe heavily into his skin.
"Look at the mess you made," He murmurs, pushing your wet shorts down your thighs slightly, before pulling away from you to pull them down your legs. You kick them off, gasping when you feel his fingers curl into your hole carefully, pumping them shallowly. "Such a messy girl…should I fuck you anyway? Make you soak my cock like this, too?"
You can't help but whimper, spreading your legs further for him as he pushes you onto your back. He tuts as he curls his fingers up, his thumb tracing figure eights into your swollen clit as your thighs twitch. He leans down, kissing you too lightly as he talks to you.
"Tell me you want it, baby. I'll give it to you." He bites your lip, watching it bounce back as you chase after him. He smirks, dipping his head down and swirling his tongue around your exposed nipple once more. "Come on, let me hear you."
You open your mouth but nothing comes out except a pitiful gasp, your back arching off the bed as your second orgasm builds around his fingers. He rips his hand away just as you can taste it on the tip of your tongue, your chest heaving in deep breaths as your eyes fill with hot tears.
"Didn't hear you, baby." He shrugs, kneeling on the bed and moving backwards before spreading your thighs with his hands once more, cooing at you as he runs his fingertips through your sticky folds. He pulls his hand away, dipping it into his sweatpants as you watch with weary eyes. He makes a show of pulling his cock out, hissing as the rough fabric rubs against his angry tip. He pulls the sweatpants off, tossing them to the side before kneeling in front of your dripping cunt.
He rolls his eyes back at his own touch, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood as he smears your arousal around it; your mouth watering slightly as you move to sit up on your elbows. He grunts quietly, leaking pre-cum on your sheets as he pumps himself in front of you. You can't speak, your mouth going dry as he bucks into his hand, a shivery moan falling from his lips as he stops. He scoots closer, his hand wrapped around his shaft as he elbows his way between your thighs, tapping your clit with the head of it. You cant your hips up, his hand sliding onto your lower belly with a stern look.
"Want it…" You breathe out pathetically, your lip jutted out in a pout. You move your hips against him, your eyes watery as he tongues his cheek. "Want you. Wanna feel you, please–"
He interrupts you with a kiss to your lips as he slides his cock through your folds, his tip kissing your swollen clit repeatedly. He grunts at the way your hole clenches around nothing, before tracing it with the head slowly. You whimper, digging your nails into the plush of your thighs as you hold them to your chest for him. He pushes in lightly, his brow furrowing at the warmth he's clearly fighting. Pushing in again, he inches in slowly, eyes trained on your face – and you notice the blush coating his cheeks before he fully bottoms out, a loud moan filling the room at the delicious stretch you feel. You clench around him, making his hips buck into you and ripping a moan from your throat.
He bites down on his lip, rocking slightly as his hands move yours from your thighs, massaging the print of your fingers off. He sinks in and out shallowly, your mouth only spilling soft whines before he throws your leg over his shoulder, kissing up your calf.
“Fuck…I'm not gonna last…” He groans, his hips flush to your ass as he runs his hands up your thighs. He gives a roll of his hips, eyes fluttering shut at the warmth of your walls surrounding him, your moan muffled by your hands covering your face. He pries them away, pinning them above your head as he slots his lips to yours. He punctuates every roll of his tongue with a tight thrust of his hips, swallowing your whimpered moans of pleasure as your back arched off the mattress.
"So fucking perfect." He whispers through gritted teeth, his grip on your wrists loosening as he bullies his cock into you. He buries his face in your neck, mouthing at the skin as your choked moans fill the room. "So beautiful, baby."
Your nails dig into his shoulders through his shirt as you wrap your legs around his hips, locking your ankles at the bottom of his spine. Three words are on the tip of your tongue, but you bite them back as a hot tear spills down your face as you feel the warmth in the pit of your belly start to pool. His hand snakes down, making you gasp as he traces your clit. Your thighs tighten around him, hearing a guttural moan in your ear as you clamp down around him. You can feel his cock twitch inside you, but he staves off his own orgasm to bring you to yours.
"S-Sunoo–"
"I know, shh. I know."
He's muttering praises in your ear until you're soaking his hand again, your legs going limp as you whimper in his ear. "That's it, pretty. So good for me, right?"
"For you.." You mumble, "Want you to cum inside, too.."
"Next time, baby." He murmurs, pulling out just as he spills out, staining your sheets as you pout into his neck. "Next time, I promise."
"Mmh.." You trail off, feeling his hands massage your thighs gently. "Tired, Sun."
"Gotta clean up, pretty. Can't leave this mess, we can sleep in my room." He peppers kisses across your cheeks, but you know he's just as tired from the rasp in his voice. You peer up at him through your wet lashes, your hand moving to cradle his face. He meets your eyes, warm. Warm, and welcoming like they've always been. Holding the same adoration they've always held, even when he's mad at you.
"When is next time?"
"Whenever you want. Come on, baby. You're all sticky."
You're blinking sleepily as he slides off the bed with a chaste kiss to your lips, patting your hip as he looks for his sweatpants. He tugs them on before carefully helping you up, wrapping strong arms around your waist as he moves you off of it and onto the chair by your vanity. He cleans up your bed, tossing your sheets into the hamper in the bathroom and fumbling around for your hairbrush, reappearing in the doorway with it in his hand and an elastic around his wrist. He beelines out of the bathroom, opening your drawer and pulling out a pair of old gym shorts; he carefully slides them up your legs, biting back his smile as he sees your thighs tremble from overexertion.
"Doing okay?" He mumbles, moving to stand behind you as he swipes the brush through your hair carefully. You nod quietly, before noticing the storm outside has reduced to a light drizzle. There's no flash of lightning, no roll of thunder as you sit in the fact that you just slept with your best friend, and that you have to recognize that the feelings you've had for him your entire life aren't all that platonic.
You let him brush your hair, reaching your hand back to hold his thigh as he pulls it into the elastic, loose atop your head. He looks at you in the mirror, his eyes holding something that you're not used to in the back of them, but he says nothing as he pats your shoulders.
"Can you walk?"
"I can't even think, Sunoo."
His laughter is still warm, so warm and familiar as you let him hold you tight to his hip and hobble across the hall to his bedroom. His touch is just as comforting, but with a hint of something more as he pulls the covers back and helps you slide under them. He feels like home, no matter where you could ever go, because his hands are still soft as he interlaces your fingers. He feels like home as you feel his thumb trace shapes into the back of your hand, as you nestle yourself in the crook of his chest, as he presses a kiss on your hairline.
He feels like home, even if he doesn't know.
"I've missed you for so long. I wanted to reach out, see if you were okay. I think I let my overthinking get the best of me, because I just assumed if you wanted to hear from me…you would reach out, first." He mumbles into your hair, "I want you to be mine, even if you have to leave. I'll go wherever you want to go, whenever you want me to. Just say the word and I'll leave everything behind to be utterly and absolutely yours for the killing."
He doesn't say anything else when he realizes you're fast asleep, unaware of anything he's said. He runs a hand down your back, patting the small of it before sighing. He peers at your sleeping face, swiping his thumb under your eye.
"I'll mean it in the morning, too. Wherever you will go, pretty."
I really loved ure writing r u really not coming back bae ☹️💓
wowww this was sent so long ago i'm sorry i'm just getting back to ya :( i am genuinely unsure about my return because i don't really know what's going on on this side of tumblr! if people are still nice then i'll gladly come back but i don't have any projects for this blog so maybe if i open requests i'll get something out!
i wanted to share some of my favorite enhypen fics on tumblr, kind of like a little personal library. these fics brought me comfort and made me stay up late at night. shout out to the amazing authors who wrote these masterpieces, you are all amazing ₊˚⊹ ᰔ
i hope you can find a little comfort in here too! ♡
arranged husband!Jungwon x trophy wife!reader - confronting cold arranged husband on your first anniversary. (w.c -)
HEESEUNG - won´t let you go this time by @zreamy (f,s)
back home for good after a semi-unsuccessful first year at university in a new city, you’re looking forward to getting back into the routines of your old life in the town you grew up in but the one person you’d been desperate to see doesn’t seem too pleased about your return (w.c 36k)
JAY - i don´t like your girlfriend by @siyalogue (a,f)
A fleeting encounter with Park Jay at a high school party leaves a quiet imprint on your then broken heart. Years later, you find him again, now as an icy guitarist of the campus boy band, HYPHENIX. You never spoke again, but you remembered his eyes, his words, his presence and how he lingered at the back of your mind years after. You wanted to reach for him, but he was so far, popular, untouchable that you decided to pour your heart to him in secret, until the secret was revealed but someone else claimed it before you could.
Or in which you pour your heart into anonymous letters for the cold, distant guitarist, Jay, only to watch your best friend claim every word as her own. (w.c 21.4k)
part 2 (a,f,s) (w.c 20.9k)
JAKE - crayon portraits by @sundives (f,s)
You have a secret — you have a daughter. A four year old little girl who's the bright definition of summer sun. You have another secret, the father is nothing but a bartender at a local beach bar where you had a vacation a few years ago. With your reputation on the line, you forced yourself to keep them hidden from the world and thankfully, Jake was willing to hide his daughter and agree with your conditions — until he decided he doesn't want to for his daughter's sake, leaving you questioning your life as a career woman and a mother. (w.c 19.4k)
SUNGHOON - king of tears by @enhaflixer (s,a,f)
your marriage to park sunghoon was supposed to be a fairytale—until it wasn’t.
now it’s cold stares across the dinner table, separate bedrooms in a mansion too big for the both of you, and divorce papers waiting to be signed. you were ready to walk away. he let you.
so why does he look at you like he’s the one who lost everything?. (w.c 20k)
SUNOO - one of the girls by @mssishipi (a,s)
Kim Sunoo has always been one of the girls: soft-spoken, pretty, utterly devoted to the allure of men, men and more men. Women were never his thing, not really—especially not you. You, with your cigarette-drenched, red fucking lips, that wicked mouth always spitting nonsense. He loathed your strut, your cruel tongue, those perfect, infuriating tits that made his cock twitch no matter how hard he tried to look away. And he hated the thought that maybe — he’s starting to think that he swings both ways after all. (w.c 45.4k)
NIKI - busy woman by @heedeungism
in which riki is smitten with you and your sharp tongue. (w.c 20.9k)
JAKE - brisbane by @i2sunric (a,f)
being married to a boxer is frightening— twice as much when you’re raising a child (or two) with that very same man. but none of it matters, not really, because your love for him is unconditional, stronger than fear, deeper than doubt, and it has always lived beyond the reach of worry. (w.c 9.2k)
JAY - my boyfriends in a band by @mssishipi (f,a,s)
One second, you were telling a little lie to impress the cheerleaders, and the next, the whole school thought you were dating Park Jongseong—the cold, untouchable, and ridiculously hot guitarist. What started as a desperate move to boost your reputation took a wild turn when Jay decided to go along with it. Now, you’re caught up in nonstop gossip, awkward moments, and a fake relationship that feels a little too real—especially with Jay showing a surprisingly sweet side that no one, including you, saw coming. (w.c 14.k)
HEESEUNG - falling alone by @babeyun (a,s,f)
cold cases were heeseung’s specialty, and he cracked every single one. cold hearts were your specialty, and you have yet to make a single chip in your husband’s. (w.c 39.5k)
SUNGHOON - past life by @junsfriend (a,s)
Sunghoon was an up-and-coming figure skater with a bright future, but he threw it all away to marry you. Thirteen years later, your marriage has failed, the kids don’t respect him one bit, and all his friends are wildly successful in life except him. He gets a chance to correct the mistakes of his past and change his life when he is miraculously transported back in time, before he even met you. But changing the past might cost him everything. (w.c 20k)
HEESEUNG - new beginnings by @ikeuverse (f,a)
flirting with your brother's brother-in-law wasn't in your plans after returning from studying abroad. it wasn't something you were going to stop either since heeseung was the epitome of beauty. but when there's another woman's name in the story. what happens? you don't want to be caught between a betrayal… or so you thought. (w.c 8.7k)
part 2 (f,a) (5.2k)
JAKE - complementary - the physics of your body by @heegyukeluv (s,a,f)
The thermodynamics of your bodies together, the sound wave of your moans, the gravity that pulled you towards each other. You were a perfect combination, the right equilibrium, complementary. (w.c 27k)
part 2 (a,s,f) (w.c 13k)
JAY - love me harder by @cutehoons02 (s,a,f)
At the Law Academy, Y/n and Jay have always been rivals: she’s a brilliant scholarship student, and he’s the heir to one of the most powerful families in Korea.
Y/n can’t stand him...to her, Jay represents everything she despises: privilege, arrogance, and a life without struggle, while she had to fight for every opportunity in an academy where most omegas dream of building a better future.
But deep down, Jay loves to tease her: to push her buttons, to make her lose control in class and during debates. Between academic rivalry and fiery arguments, neither of them expected fate to bind them together.
During the Instincts Ceremony, Jay discovers through pheromone and knot compatibility tests that the only person capable of becoming his future mate and continuing the Park bloodline, is none other than Y/n. At first, Jay approaches her out of duty… but soon finds himself caught in his own web of feelings.
Yet what will happen when Y/n finds out it all started as a lie? Through unintentional love bombing, Jay made her believe his feelings were real from the beginning but they weren’t. At least, not at first.
Now, their pheromones and instincts belong to each other, and there’s no turning back. (w.c - )
JUNGWON - cry for me by @xcarlywrites (s,a)
You and jungwon have known each other since you were little. You live on the same street, he has always bothered you since kindergarden and chased you like a lost puppy. You yourself didn't know what the reason was. But jungwon only did it because it was the only time you really noticed him. Or was he wrong? (w.c 16k)
HEESEUNG - ruin the friendship by @jongst4r (a,f)
in which heeseung dies before you ever have to risk losing him. (w.c 19.3k)
JAKE - loyal puppy by @junsfriend (s,a,f)
Ever since your boyfriend Jake transformed from his nerdy high-school self into the university's star football player, you've become everything you thought you’d never be. Jealous. Anxious. Clingy. But Jake really doesn't mind your newfound possessiveness. He encourages it, even. So when he defies expectations again to star in a musical with a stunning costar, you spiral. Now, the “lowkey” relationship you once insisted on gets jeopardized under the weight of your own insecurities. (w.c 26k+)
SUNGHOON - grocery store receipts by @paarksunghoon (f,a,s)
your hot neighbor seems to have everything you don’t: charm, confidence, and a sense of direction in life. you’ve managed to keep to yourself in the time you’ve lived across from his apartment but the holiday season brings brings out unresolved feelings, and you find that the best present of all has always been standing right in front of you. (w.c 31.5k)
JAY - still into you by @i2sunric (f,a)
you’ve always thought dating a doctor was hot until you started realising his job was taking your place— but don’t worry, being a doctor meant jay could always stitch your broken heart up! (w.c 10.5k)
HEESEUNG - keep my heart guarded by @sundives (f,s,a)
Your long-term relationship with your bodyguard-slash-personal assistant Lee Heeseung goes way back in high school. Ever since then, he keeps your heart guarded and humbled in every possible way since your makeup line started to rise into fame. But when a dating scandal tied you with your brand's ambassador, leading to a PR stunt that will last for two years, that's when you realized that your relationship with Heeseung was starting to crumble because of the fortune and popularity. (w.c 22.7k)
JAKE - two peas in a pod by @cherry-lala (a,s)
You love Jake, but believing you are a Beta who can never truly satisfy his Omega nature, you push him away only to realize during a dramatic twenty-first birthday presentation that you were his fated Alpha all along. (w.c 17k+)
SUNGHOON - harvest of purity by @fangel (s,a)
au in which an innocent, shy, and faithful sunghoon takes a summer job as a farmhand. he’s never indulged on his desires until the farmer’s daughter shows him a taste of sin. although riddled with guilt, he cannot deny or escape the new rousing feelings that impurify him. especially when she's set on ruining him every chance she gets. (w.c 29k)
HEESEUNG - kiss me, he´s watching by @enhaflixer (s,a,f)
You kissed Heeseung to escape your stalker’s gaze—but the danger didn’t end there. One fake kiss, and suddenly everything is terrifyingly real. (w.c-)
i have so many things to say and yet none of it comes out coherently, so all i will say is this:
enhypen is 7. i will still support heeseung’s activities outside of the group, but it did not have to be this way and i know for a fact that belift lab knew that and still chose to push this narrative that he had to pick one or the other.
another thing is: this is not something that anyone should be sending hate to heeseung for. wanting to go solo is normal. many, many idols have done it and we have all seen it happen and it rarely negatively impacts their group or their group/solo image. we have beautiful solos from shinee, twice, tomorrow x together, red velvet, i-dle, seventeen, etcetera. we have literally seen stray kids release their solo songs via skz-record.
heeseung and his solo activities could have been supported by the company financially and creatively and they chose not to. enhypen is a heavily established group, with six years under their belt and i promise you, engenes were expecting solo debuts at some point because everyone does it at some moment in their career. there is no reason that things had to get to this point. belift lab is to blame and we can and will acknowledge that.
I genuinely do not see a point in returning to this side of Tumblr if everyone is going to continue berating one another and acting as though that’s justified. It doesn’t matter if you’re an author, a GFX specialty blog, a reader, a silent reblogger — you should be treating each other kindly because we are all here for the same reasons. I have no idea what has gotten into many of you all that you think it is okay to talk down to people who are giving you feedback and people who are providing you all content for free, but it’s not cute.
At the end of the day, no matter what category you fall under — we are all real people with real lives beyond these blogs and interactions.
And for the love of God — it is 2026. No one should have to keep reiterating that stealing intellectual property is WRONG. Plagiarism is WRONG. Do it BAD, do it WEIRD, and OWN IT. It is NOT the end of the world to go through the process of becoming a good writer. We have ALL done it and SO CAN YOU.
synopsis: sunghoon doesn't mind babysitting for the neighborhood mothers - but he certainly doesn't mind when a certain eldest daughter is around to be taken care of, too.
genre: acquaintances to ???. older!reader moment (because why not, but also it doesn't really come up.) angst, fluff, smut. this porn has plot, damnit!
pairing: babysitter!park sunghoon x fem!older!reader ; mentions of heeseung x reader.
word count: 6k
rating: 18+. minors do not interact.
warnings: swearing, alcohol (that they don't even drink LOL) mentions of toxic relationships, rebounds, reader is only older by a year. smut warnings: oral (f. rec),MUNCH!HOON!! PUSSY EATING ENTHUSIAST HOON!!! nipple play, subtle body worship (f. rec), unprotected sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy!), sub!hoon x sub!reader (just trust me), creampie, subtle breeding kink, wayyy too much whining and whimpering, pet names (pretty girl, baby, etc.)
listen to: lie to girls - sabrina carpenter ; number one girl - rosé ; wait - dino ; btbt - b.i, soulja boy, devita ; die for you - the weeknd.
author's note: this is for all my eldest daughters out there (not me but y'all stay safe!) i whipped this up while i was procrastinating studying for finals...so apologies if it's shitty (because it is shitty.) also, i dog on heeseung SOOO bad but i promise i love him i just needed someone. this being said, happiest birthday hoonie, i love u!
You and Sunghoon weren't strangers, you wouldn't go that far.
However, there was a good reason that you weren't friends – you were never home when he was at your parents' house. You'd moved out with your boyfriend a month or so into him babysitting your menace of a sister. She was well-behaved for him, but had been an absolute tornado of a child when your mother would ask you to babysit. You were actually the one who found Sunghoon through an ad on social media, and he'd been yet another thing to add to your parents' monthly budget.
Then again, no one told them to have another kid so late in their lives. Or yours, for that matter. You were eighteen when Mina was born, and it'd been a pretty rocky five years since then. You went off to college and didn't really get to see her grow up, and she soon learned you were someone she couldn't depend on emotionally because you were rarely able to stick around outside of holidays. It pained you, but you knew you'd eventually get the time to bond with her.
And that time came very quickly after meeting Sunghoon – because your boyfriend dumped you after six months, insisting he was too busy with school to maintain a relationship. Heeseung was a graduate student, and he tutored on the side for extra cash. Your parents funded your lifestyle, so you'd never worried about anything – until Heeseung sat you down and said that the relationship was stressing him out.
Needless to say, a week after the breakup – you moved back in with your parents and left him to figure out the rent himself. It was a calculated move, but your parents agreed that you didn't need that kind of energy in your life. It didn't stop you from remembering all the other times Heeseung dogged you – from taking continuous 'breaks' from your relationship in the three years you were together, to falling prey to temptation (read: another woman grinding on him at a bar while you were two feet away.)
And you talked about him to every person you possibly could – including now, your little sister's babysitter as he washed dishes in your parents' kitchen. The conversation hadn't started out this way, he'd actually been telling you how much Mina talked about you while you were gone.
"Anyway, that kid loves you, man." He nodded as he slid a plate onto the drying rack, and you laughed softly. "Mina was born when I was a teenager. She just thinks I'm cool now, she'll go through the phase of hating me when she's older." You shrug.
"I wouldn't be so sure. She talks about you a lot, something about you playing a viobib?" His brow is arched, and you snort. "Violin. I played her the violin one time so she'd leave me alone. I'm surprised she talks to you so much, she has a hard time warming up to anyone. Even my boyfriend can't get her to talk to him."
His eyes narrowed slightly, "You have a boyfriend? Since when?"
You shrug again. "Since before I met you. I guess I should say ex, though. Boyfriend is the title he prefers, but not the one he deserves. At least, not right now." You say pointedly, and his brows furrowed as he leans on the counter, arms crossed.
"Elaborate."
"You're babysitting my kid sister, not giving me counseling."
"Consider it a perk for eldest daughters who act like they deserve shitty men." He says, a bite to his tone as you scrunch your nose. You sigh, nibbling your lip before rolling your eyes. "We're on-and-off. Sometimes I call it off, sometimes he does. He's in grad school and he tutors, and he said everything was stressing him out. He dumped me a bit ago, and I moved back in here. I'm surprised I haven't seen you around more."
"Right, so what about that arrangement is making you believe that you deserve this sort of behavior?"
You peek up at him, his brows still furrowed as he awaits your answer. Your stomach tightens a bit as you blink. "I guess…I don't know, actually."
"Okay, then ditch that loser." He shrugs, and you scoff. "He's not a loser. He's smart and sweet and we're just going through a rough patch."
"If you have to justify his presence in your life or his treatment of you to your friends or anyone you talk about him to, then he's a loser. He sucks and he doesn't deserve to have access to you in any way." Sunghoon clasps his hands in front of himself, and you frown.
"He's nice enough."
"Yeah, so is any other guy, babe. You're not gonna give just any dude a chance because he's 'nice enough,' are you?" He peers at you through his shaggy hair, and you feel your cheeks heat slightly in embarrassment. "The fact that you allow that behavior, seemingly quite often, will only make him make you his doormat. He'll do it over and over until he's sick of you, then he gets to dump you and make it seem like it was a mutual thing. You won't win in a situation like that."
"It's not about winning." You mutter, grabbing a peach out of the fruit bowl in front of you. He leans back on the island, arms crossed in front of him.
"Isn't it, though? There is always a prize and a player in a relationship. You," He taps the tip of your nose with his finger gently. "Are the prize, and he's the player. If he's not playing to win you, then he's playing to lose and wasting your time."
You stare into his eyes, not missing the way his brows jump as he leans slightly closer.
"Stop wasting your time on a shitty dude when you can do so much better. Especially if you're really as cool as Mina says. Kids don't lie about people they admire." His tone is slightly teasing, and you roll your eyes. "Mina has thrown eggs at me, I wouldn't be so sure she admires me."
"I don't know, she said you're really nice to everyone. That you're funny, you can sing…dance…" Sunghoon lists a few things your sister said while you were asleep, and you feel your ears grow hot. "She also said you're the one who taught her how to do backflips, and that she wants to be like you when she grows up. I'd suggest getting that guy out of your life sooner rather than later so you can set a good example."
"Did she mention him?" Your eyes snap up, and Sunghoon shrugs. "Once or twice. She said he makes you cry more often than not."
You snort, shaking your head as you look down. "What does she know? She's five."
"Kids see things from an unbiased perspective, they're still learning how to be functioning humans. She associates him with you being upset, so I wouldn't be surprised if you told me that you're 'on a break' right now. I've been listening to you for five minutes and I already don't like this guy. If he cared, he'd be here. He doesn't care."
"You're only saying that because it's what I need to hear." You roll your eyes as you avoid the rest of his spiel, and Sunghoon shakes his head, stealing a grape from the ones he washed for you earlier. "I'm saying that because it's the truth, and when I love, I make sure the person I love knows."
"You don't even know him." You scowl, and he smirks. "Don't have to, babe. It's all over your face. You look defeated as hell when you talk about him."
"Not your babe, Sunghoon." You shake your head, and he shrugs. "Could be, if you ditched that guy. I don't even know your favorite color but I can almost guarantee I'd be a better boyfriend than him."
"My favorite color is green." You mutter, and he leans closer to your face. "Anything else you wanna tell me about this guy?"
"Why? You'll just be mean about it." You mumble, licking your lips when you feel his fingers tilt your chin up. He coos, "You're cute when you're defensive over a scumbag."
"Stop that." You shove his hand away, and he smiles. "You need a rebound or something. All you've been able to talk about since you moved back is this guy. He sucks, babe."
"Ugh, I know! Alright, I know he sucks, you don't have to rub it in." You frown, biting into the peach in your hand. "D'you know he'd never tell me I was pretty? I mean, I know I am, he didn't have to. But it would've been nice to hear every once in a damn while."
You chew angrily, before hearing him laugh softly. "You have enough confidence for a man to feel like he doesn't need to tell you that. You carry yourself so well, it's honestly very sexy."
You look up at him, meeting his eyes. They're calm and sincere, like he didn't just call you sexy in the middle of your kitchen while you're wearing a random t-shirt and sweatpants. "Me?"
"Yeah, you. It's just us in here, Y/N." He snorts, "You seriously need to get over this guy. I don't like hearing you talk about this like you deserved it."
"What do you know? You hardly know me." You know your voice sounds bitter, but it only spurs him on. "Don't need to know you super well to know you just need to feel appreciated."
"Right, appreciated." You roll your eyes, tossing the half eaten peach in the trash. "Like I'm gonna find that in a rebound."
"You can." He nods, making you snort. "Like who? You?"
"Sure." He shrugs, and you nearly choke on your own spit. "What? Sunghoon, be serious."
"I am being serious. If that's what it takes, I'm all for it." He shrugs again, like this is the most nonchalant thing ever, like he's not offering to fuck the bitterness out of you so you'll act normal again. You gawk at him, "Sunghoon, I cannot just use you like that. We hardly know each other, are you insane?"
"Is it insane if I say I want you to?" He leans forward on the counter, a soft blush on his cheeks. You gape at him, his finger coming to close your mouth. "Does it matter how well we know each other? I'm sure it'll be a one time thing, and since we don't see each other often, I don't see the harm."
"You want me to use you to get over my ex-boyfriend? You want to be my rebound?" You're shocked at his suggestion, he can tell as he shrugs. "You can use me anytime you want. Think about it." He winks, pushing off the island.
You feel your cheeks grow hot as he leaves the kitchen, letting you sit with your thoughts.
Sunghoon lived a mile away, in an apartment complex you helped him pick out once your parents hired him. Your mother had insisted he live in the house, but your father refuted by saying Sunghoon was a grown man, he needed his own space. You'd taken him to fill out the paperwork, and it was one of the last interactions you'd had with Sunghoon before moving out.
You sigh shakily, running your hands through your hair.
It wasn't the worst idea. You knew that Sunghoon wouldn't have offered it if he wasn't attracted to you, at least. You knew what it was like to feel desired, but something about the way Sunghoon looked at you made you feel giddy.
Maybe it was the promise of feeling something new, or the idea that you shouldn't do it – because he works for your parents. Getting involved with you could cost him his job, if anyone found out.
You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you sigh as you reach to grab it.
Message From: Park Sunghoon (Babysitter)
[8:32pm] you know where i live if you're down.
[8:32pm] just let me know, gorgeous.
Fuck.
Bad idea, bad idea, bad fucking idea.
It hadn't even been a day since you and Sunghoon had the conversation in your parents' kitchen. Or rather, the awkward moment in your parents' kitchen.
It'd been three hours. It was nearing midnight as you stood in front of the elevator, the cold December air biting at your exposed legs. You'd gone to a late dinner with your friend Aeri, and you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't admit that her encouragement is what got you into this predicament.
The elevator dings, revealing a young girl and her dog attempting to step out. You give her a soft smile, earning a nod and a have a good night as you step in. You press the button to the third floor, bouncing on your heels as the elevator starts moving. This could be the worst fuck of your life and you won't even know until after, or even during. What if it's the best fuck of your life and then you're just forced to be around him as his employer rather than a potential fuck buddy or even worse, a girlfriend?
"Get it together, Y/N." You mutter to yourself, hearing the elevator ding as you reach the third floor. You step out, turning to the right and walking past three doors, before standing in front of his apartment. His doormat is that of a frat boy's – Please Don't Do Coke In Our Bathroom.
You snort, before knocking on the door softly. You hear rustling, and the lowering of a TV before the pitter-patter of dog feet. You hear him sigh as he unlocks the door, his face appearing before you as he opens it. He looks surprised.
"Y/N, what a pleasure." He speaks smoothly, and you roll your eyes. "It's cold, invite me in." You cross your arms across your chest, making him smile as he steps to the side. You walk in, shivering as you carefully step out of your heels. You squat to pet his dog, but she disappears behind his legs. You pout at him, and he just snorts. "She's shy."
"It's fucking freezing outside, Hoon." Your teeth chatter as he closes the door, taking your scarf as you hand it to him. "Well, you're barely dressed. I assume it would be cold when you're half naked."
"Did you want me to wear layers and make this take ten times as long? Be serious." You huff, sliding your coat off. Granted, you'd put this dress on with the idea of going to a bar after dinner and posting thirst traps on your story for Heeseung to see and yearn for…
Which is shitty of you to appear in Sunghoon's apartment after thinking that way.
"I don't think you wore this for me, Y/N. You were at dinner with Aeri." He rolls his eyes, and you forget he also has your Instagram. "Man, just take the win. Do you wanna fuck me or not?"
He shrugs, "Do you want me to?"
"You wouldn't have offered and I wouldn't have shown up if the answer to either of those questions was no." You say pointedly, and he clicks his tongue. "I guess you're right."
"I usually am." You roll your eyes, making him laugh. "Here, have a seat."
"What, are you gonna wine and dine me?" You tease, and he smirks, disappearing into his kitchen. "Could say that."
You take a seat on his couch, looking around the apartment. He's decorated in a very Sunghoon way – lots of black decorations and shelving on the exposed brick, an array of books on a shelf to the left of his desk and a record player. You look at his coffee table, the fashion magazines and editorials stacked high.
"You always snoop through people's things?" His voice rings behind you as he holds two glasses and a bottle of wine you're sure you've seen only in your father's reserve. You huff, "Well you leave me here to entertain myself, I'm bound to look around."
"Valid. Come on." He tilts his head for you to follow him, your cheeks aflame as you do just that. He leads you down to his bedroom, a large bed with a black duvet in the middle of the room. More books, a few incense candles, a few figurines in the corner of his room. "I like what you've done with the place."
"Thanks, it only took fucking forever to figure out what I wanted to do. I think the exposed brick makes for a bigger headache than those home bloggers make it out to be."
It makes you feel at ease, how easy conversation can be with Sunghoon. He doesn't make anything feel inorganic, but he also doesn't talk more than necessary in order to get his point across.
"How long were you with that guy, anyway? Here, put this on." He holds out a pair of sweatpants, which you take with a quizzical look. "Three years. Uh, Hoon, the point is to be naked here, not put on more clothes."
"Is that how it was with him? You'd just show up and strip?" He rolls his eyes, digging a shirt out of his dresser for you. You feel your cheeks warm as he hands it to you, before giving you a glance. "Was it?"
"...Kind of." You look at your feet, and he sighs. "Yeah, well…I don't play that. Do you need help getting your dress off?"
"Oh, yeah. Just the zipper." You turn, pulling your hair to the front. You feel his fingers graze your back, before he tugs the zipper down in one go. He snaps your bra strap playfully, "We can lose this, though."
"Yah!" You swat his hand away, making him laugh as he turns away. "Do you want to watch something or just talk?"
"We can watch something, whatever is fine. Just nothing scary, my room is spooky at night." You shudder as you undo your bra, folding it in your hand before tugging the shirt over your head. "Oh, do you intend on driving home after?"
"Did you want me to stay?" Your words sound a bit bitter, and that only makes Sunghoon frown as he scours the selection on HBO from his bed. "Dude, the more things you say, the more scummy I realize this guy was to you. Next thing you know you'll tell me he never went down on you."
You freeze, and Sunghoon gapes at you as you turn around, pulling the shirt down your torso. "Y/N, you've got to be kidding me."
"No, he did a few times, I swear!" You try to defend him, but Sunghoon only scoffs out a laugh. "That's fucking insane. Like, actually insane."
"Hoon, you're embarrassing me." You whine, and he only blinks. "Why would you be embarrassed that he didn't wanna eat you out? That in itself is embarrassing for him. Real men eat pussy, and they eat it with gusto."
"Shut up." You cover your face with your hands as you hear him sigh. "I'm just saying. Now, come on. Either put the pants on or lie the hell down."
You huff, shoving the pair of sweats on before joining him on his bed. This is normal, friends fuck all the time.
Except you and Sunghoon are not friends.
You must've spaced out, because the feeling of Sunghoon squeezing your knee makes you jolt. "What are you thinking about?"
"Nothing." You lie, shaking your head. He hums, turning his attention to the random movie on the television. "You're a bad liar, you know?"
"Am not." Scoffing, you turn to face him. Your knees hit his outer thigh as you turn, and he gives you a lazy smile. "You are. You were staring off into space and chewing on your cheek for like, five minutes. What's up?"
You scrunch your nose, looking down at your hands as he tilts his head. "You can tell me, you know. I don't judge."
"Don't you, though? I mean, I'm here after you absolutely dogged on my ex earlier." You snort, and he smiles. "I'm judging your ex, not you. Well, not right now at least. I will always dislike the fact that you think you deserved that treatment, let alone from a guy who probably couldn't even make you cum."
Your eyes snap to his, shock across your face as he pinches the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "Babe, come on."
"He was nice!" You whine, and Sunghoon just laughs in disbelief. "Don't laugh! It's not funny!"
Your lip is jutted out in a pout, before Sunghoon maneuvers you onto his lap. He makes you move up closer, your ass resting high on his thighs. "He really didn't make you finish?"
You groan, adjusting yourself to sit comfortably. "I mean, he did a few times. Just not as often as I would've liked. I don't want to talk about him." You rub your temples, Sunghoon's hands finding home on your hips. "Okay, we don't have to. Tell me what you like."
"What I like?" You repeat, and he nods. "Yeah. Like…positions. Any kinks, anything I should know to make this the best experience possible."
"...Does it matter?" Your voice is meek, and he rolls his eyes. "Yes, it matters. I want you to feel good. If you don't know, I can figure it out. You just have to trust me."
You feel your chest warm at his words, and you glance at his face as he speaks again. "We can go as slow as you want, this is about you."
"But what about you?" You toy with the hem of your shirt, and he smiles. "I'll enjoy myself either way, don't worry about me."
His hands squeeze your hips gently as he looks down at you. "You okay?"
"I'm nervous." You mumble, looking away as he coos. "Baby, you don't need to be nervous. It's just me." His hand comes to hold your jaw gently, making you face him. He squeezes your cheeks gently, making your lips pucker.
"You're so pretty." He smiles as he compliments you, making you roll your eyes in embarrassment. "Stop."
"Why? You are. Pretty little thing." He's teasing you, your hands now holding onto his wrist as he inches closer. "Should I kiss you?"
"Yes." Your reply is more of a breath, and he chuckles. "Seriously, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, promise. Unless you're into that."
"Kiss me already." You groan, making him roll his eyes before closing the gap between you. His lips are soft and taste like cherry Chapstick. His hand lets go of your face, moving slightly down to the base of your neck. Your own hands move to fist his shirt as his teeth nip at your lower lip, a whimper from your throat making him move you impossibly higher on his lap. His other hand moves to the nape of your neck, tangling in your hair to hold you steady as his tongue slips into your mouth.
"You'll stay the night, right?" He pulls away from your lips, eyes searching your face for any sign of hesitation. You nod as best as you can with his hand in your hair, "Yeah. If you want me to."
"I want you to." He whispers, before letting go of your hair. "Can we take this off?" He tugs at the shirt he gave you, and you move to tug it over your head. He lets you, watching the way your hair cascades down your back. His hands find home on your waist, his thumbs barely grazing the underside of your breasts as you look back at him, flinging the shirt somewhere behind you.
He doesn't say anything, only meeting your lips in a kiss. It's softer this time, but your tongue finds its way into his mouth gently. He sucks on it, hearing a low moan from you as your hips cant against his. "Sorry."
"No, don't be." He shakes his head, pressing chaste kisses to your lips. "Use me however you want, baby. That's what I'm here for."
"But–"
"This is about you. Just let go." He meets your lips once more, kissing you deeply as his hands grip your hips tightly. He moves you against his hardening cock slowly, setting a gentle pace for you. You follow his lead, rutting against him as his hands move upward before you grab them and place them on your chest. He groans lowly into your mouth, thumbs grazing over your pebbled nipples as he drags his lips down your jaw, your soft whimpers filling the air as his teeth nip at your neck.
"S'fucking gorgeous." He murmurs against your skin, tracing his tongue down the gentle slope of your neck, a shudder running down your spine as he kisses down your chest. "Can I?" His doe eyes peer up at you though shaggy bangs, and you nod quickly. Your fingers card through his hair as his tongue flattens against your nipple as you groan.
"Feel good?" He mumbles against your skin. You only breathe out shakily as you nod, your lip bitten between your teeth as he nips and sucks his way across your chest, your nipples glistening with his spit. He scrapes his teeth against one gently, earning a guttural groan from your lips as he kisses up your chest. "Wanna taste you, angel. Can I?"
Your pupils are blown as you look down at him, your fingers pushing his hair back as his hands dip below the sweatpants you're wearing. "Can I?"
"Okay." Your voice is slightly raspy with lust, and he smiles softly before pressing a kiss to your lips. "We can stop anytime, just say the word."
You nod, moving off his lap. He lays you back on his pillows, kissing your lips softly before trailing down your body. "So beautiful, baby. Can't get enough of you."
He kisses down your stomach, before his teeth catch on the waistband of the sweatpants you're wearing. He bites down carefully, pulling them down your legs as you cover your face with a whine. "Something wrong?" He calls, pulling them off your ankles and flinging them to the ground.
"No." You respond weakly, and he smirks as his fingers land on your thighs, pulling you closer to him. "You're lying."
"You're just hot, okay?" You peek at him through your fingers, seeing him shake his head as he snaps the waistband of your underwear against your skin. You jolt as he smiles, before sinking to his stomach and spreading your legs. You hear a soft whisper of shit from his lips. "Sorry? Is something wrong?"
You try to move away, only for Sunghoon to hold your hips down. "You're fucking soaked, doll. Holy shit."
He doesn't give you a chance to respond, opting to press his face against the sticky fabric of your ruined underwear and inhale deeply, a whine from his throat hitting your ears as he noses at the fabric. "You're so fucking hot."
You feel his tongue before you reply, the underwear a useless attempt at a barrier as he finds your clit easily. Your thighs tense around his head, his preening at the taste of you just through the fabric is enough to make him cum in his pants. "Hoon…" You mewl, your fingers tugging at his hair to get his attention. He only hums in response.
"Take them off." Your whine is loud, and he hastily pulls your underwear down your plush thighs, throwing it over his shoulder as he dives back in, tongue lapping at your wet cunt like a man starved. You're a moaning mess as his pouty lips wrap around your clit, sucking gently as he pushes your thighs open further, working two fingers inside you carefully. He groans at the way you clench around them so tightly, your walls so warm and wet as he curls them into you.
"Taste so sweet, pretty. Would never give this up, ever." He murmurs against your clit, pressing wet kisses to it. You can't even respond, your eyes screwed shut as you cant your hips against his mouth harshly. "That's it, baby. Come on, give it to me." He's whining against your pussy, latching his lips to your clit as your thighs begin to tremble.
"H-Hold my hand." You mumble, and Sunghoon immediately laces his free hand with yours. "Need you to cum on my tongue, beautiful." His fingers find that spongy spot, making your soft belly cave in as your thighs close around his head. A choked moan leaves your lips as you coat his tongue and lips in your orgasm, your body trembling beneath him as you try to push his head away from you. "S'too much, Hoonie-"
"One more, baby. You can give me one more." He bullies his shoulders through your thighs, moving to hover over you. He presses his wet lips to yours, your tongue attempting to collect any taste of you off of him. He lets you deepen the kiss, his hand snaking between your legs to rub teasing circles into your clit. Your mouth falls slack, your nails digging into his bicep. "One more, baby. Wanna feel you around me."
"O-Okay."
He reaches over you to his nightstand, pulling the drawer open to find an empty box of condoms. "Fuck, wait. I think–"
"Want it raw." You mumble, eyes closed as your hands run under his shirt, fingers tracing circles into his softly chiseled abdomen. His eyes are wide, his hand coming to your face, stroking it gently. "Look at me. Are you sure?"
"Positive. Want it, Hoonie. Wanna feel full." You barely open your eyes as you nod, turning your head slightly to kiss his palm. He shivers slightly, closing his eyes to compose himself as he nods. "O-Okay. Alright."
He straightens, pulling his shirt over his head and quickly pushing his sweats down. You don't bother to look down, knowing in your heart the stretch will be worth a thousand viewings. He pulls you to the edge of the bed by your thighs, carefully tucking a pillow under your hips as he rests your leg on his chest. He kisses your ankle softly, before running the leaking tip of his cock through your wet folds. He nearly buckles, the warmth almost debilitating as he eased himself into you.
Your mewl is so soft he almost misses it, his eyes darting to your face as he slowly sheaths himself inside you, biting his lip so hard he's sure he'll draw blood. Your lips are so swollen from the kissing and biting that he can't help but lean over and kiss you gently, burying himself to the hilt inside you. Your soft whisper of fuck is against his lips. "Move, Hoon."
"You gotta give me a second, baby." He whines into your neck, making you clench around him. "Fuck, fuck don't do that." His hips jerk involuntarily, earning a choked moan from you as your nails dig into his shoulder. He straightens himself, figuring if he's going to cum fast, he'd better make it worth your while. He pulls out almost entirely, pushing your thighs to your chest as he bullies his cock back into you. Your moans are so loud he's lost in them, your chants of yes, yes, right there so overwhelming for him as he tries his hardest to stave off his own orgasm.
"Feel so fucking good, baby. Shit." He whimpers into the air, his grip on your thighs bruising as you mewl beneath him, your hands finding his wrists. "Kiss me, Hoonie. Wan' a kiss.."
He leans forward, the kiss a mess of teeth and tongue as he bottoms out inside you repeatedly. His tip is bullying your sweet spot relentlessly, making you whine into his mouth. "Want you to cum in me." You whisper, and he almost stops as the words hit his ears but your nails drag down his back. "Want you to fill me up, Hoonie. Please."
"Anything you want, fuck. I'll give you anything, baby." His voice is choked as he trails his lips down your neck, feeling your cunt flutter around him in that oh-so-familiar way. "Gonna cum for me? Gonna cream all over this dick?"
You only whimper in response, your teeth sinking softly into his shoulder. He feels himself spill inside you at the sensation, a deep groan from his soul as you cum right after. He doesn't stop working the two of you through it, his hips bordering the two of you into overstimulation as you claw at him.
He feels his skin sticky as he rests his forehead on your shoulder, your fingers now flat against the muscle of his back as you breathe in deeply. You shift slightly beneath him, before patting his shoulder. "I don't…I can't get up, I don't think. I can't feel my legs." You rasp, and he chuckles into your skin.
"Yeah, that's usually what's supposed to happen." He replies smugly, earning a sharp smack from your hand in the middle of his back. "Ouch! What the hell!"
"I told you to stop making fun of me!" You huff, and he moves to look at you. "I'm not! Did I not just give you two mind blowing orgasms?"
"I wouldn't say mindblowing–" He rolls his eyes as he covers your mouth. "I made you cum, which was the goal. Was it not?"
"No, the goal was to get over my ex." You say, muffled by the palm of his hand. He ponders a bit, before looking down at you intently. "Well, are you?"
You feel your cheeks flush as you look away. "Maybe. Might need to go again, don't know. Not fully convinced."
"Not fully convinced, she says." He removes his hand from your mouth as he teases you gently, and you roll your eyes. "Okay, fine. You're good, you got me." You admit tiredly, and he smiles.
"For how long?"
"What?" You look up at him, and he shrugs. "How long do I have you?"
You let your eyes scan his face as he looks down at you with curiosity in his eyes. You scoff, an amused tone to your voice. "You like me."
"Obviously." He rolls his eyes, "Otherwise I wouldn't have offered."
"You sly little minx. Luring me in here with the premise of getting me over my ex, knowing I'm on the rebound." You poke his chest, and he scoffs. "Clearly, you like me too. Or else you could've absolutely dodged my offer."
"Or maybe I think you're hot and wouldn't mind seeing you outside of the cute little necklaces my sister makes you wear." You tease, and he shrugs. "I'll take what I can get. Either way, do you feel better? Less thoughts about that idiot, more good feelings?"
You nod, sitting up on your elbows. "Let me take you to dinner, Hoon."
He blinks at you, before glancing at the clock on his nightstand. "It's two in the morning, babe."
"Not right now. Later. After you're done babysitting." You say, and he raises his brows. "Are you sure?"
"I wouldn't offer if I didn't want to." Your tone is pointed, and he scoffs. "You want me so fucking bad."
"In your dreams. Get off me, I'm all sticky."
He does just that, and takes the most gentle care of you. He lets you lean against him in the shower, he shampoos your hair and steals kisses when you least expect it. He changes his sheets while you try to sit comfortably in his desk chair, complaining of sore hips and thighs as he smirks to himself.
"So much for a rebound, huh?" He murmurs into your hair as you snuggle into his side, making you snort. "Go to sleep, Sunghoon. Goodnight."
