The Germans really cooked making "Hobbyless behaviour" an insult. It is both devastating, applicable to a wide range of people and behaviours, and doesn't resort to swearing.
Man ranting on the internet about the Superbowl halftime show or complaining that something is "woke"? Hobbyless Behaviour. Girls mocking another girl for not looking right? Hobbyless Behaviour. Mindless vandalism? Hobbyless Behaviour.
It is more powerful than "get a life" or the English "You're Sad" because it gets to the central point of the matter, and that is wonderful. Danke, Deutsch.
i have rule i semi-adhere to for media criticism which is to ideologically meet shit where it's at (or where it's presented to me). i like to call it the "i didn't make you market it that way" rule--like, if lancer's union was just presented as a sci-fi setting, that would be fine. i don't expect all sci-fi settings to be communist utopias! but when the creators of lancer use the word utopia like 20 times & bandy around words like 'mutual aid' and 'post-scarcity' and 'anticapitalist' when describing it, then to me that becomes absolutely fair game. similarly if someone says 'stardew valley is fun i like farming :)' then i'm not gonna reply with a long post about how it's ideologically petty-bourgeois--but if they say 'stardew valley is anticapitalist', then they've opened up that can of worms and it's fair for me to point out that the worms exist.
it's the same phenomenon where a fantasy novel that says 'for the duration of this fantasy novel you need to just believe in the divine right of kings for the emotional stakes to make sense' is infinitely less objectionable than a fantasy novel that's also about restoring a king but takes painstaking time to point out how this king is A Good King who is Progressive and Nice and is going to do Nice Monarchy. when you try to sanitize something you end up turning any otherwise neutral or at least palatable depiction or framework you've included into a normative statement!
In 1909, the biologist Jakob von Uexküll noted that every animal exists in its own unique perceptual world — a smorgasbord of sights, smells, sounds and textures that it can sense but that other species might not. These stimuli defined what von Uexküll called the Umwelt — an animal’s bespoke sliver of reality. A tick’s Umwelt is limited to the touch of hair, the odor that emanates from skin and the heat of warm blood. A human’s Umwelt is far wider but doesn’t include the electric fields that sharks and platypuses are privy to, the infrared radiation that rattlesnakes and vampire bats track or the ultraviolet light that most sighted animals can see.
The Umwelt concept is one of the most profound and beautiful in biology. It tells us that the all-encompassing nature of our subjective experience is an illusion, and that we sense just a small fraction of what there is to sense. It hints at flickers of the magnificent in the mundane, and the extraordinary in the ordinary. And it is almost antidramatic: It reveals that frogs, snakes, ticks and other animals can be doing extraordinary things even when they seem to be doing nothing at all.
Hi everyone, cutting my August post fine, because I couldn't stop reading...I'm back with another bumper round of fic that I've read and loved over the last month. Buckle up for some epic long fic for these last summer days, I'm so excited to share these with you!
As always you can find previous rec lists here.
29 August 2025
the wild card by neatomosquito theeeeee buddie rivals to best friends to lovers to ex lovers to lovers tennis au. Dear god. I'm picky with my 911 aus, but this is just executed to perfection. I want to bind this up and put it on my bookshelf and stare at it forever. Brilliant team dynamics with the firefam translated into their new roles, lovely Bobby and Maddie characterisations, and just theeeeee most delicious Buck and Eddie slowburn and romance. Wow. An instant classic for sure.
cut the bruises off the peach by treelines Buck peels Eddie's pomegranates, carves out the brown spots from his apples, eats the ugly, discolored fruit. Eddie wants to propose, spirals, and crashes a car about it. STUNNING writing, oh my goodness, this one really pulled me in.
Call It A Brojob If You Like by @zinnydark “I have a confession to make...I used to suck so much dick when I thought I was straight.” in which Buck and Eddie decidedly don't watch Risky Business together, and confessions and daring lead to an inhibition lowering fun time. I loved how much their relaxed best friendship dynamic plays into the banter and joy they take in discovering each other in whole new ways. Just delightful and hot.
you can use my skin (to bury secrets in) by rcdwings "With his best friend inside him and life bleeding out of his thigh, Eddie learns what it's like to be seen." In which a series of introspective thoughts from Eddie lead to a lifesaving moment that strips everything away. Intense, emotional and beautifully written.
let sleeping dogs lie by kryptonian Somnophilia, hyperspermia + Eddie Diaz's extended gay breakdown. What's a little night time humping between friends who may or may not be conscious about it.
If you change your mind, I'm the first in line by flightlessmaddie Just as Eddie plucks up the courage to ask Buck out, Buck announces a new rule of not dating any first responders. After a quick spiral, Eddie decides to prove that he's worth breaking the rules for.
i'd marry you (with paper rings) by @bookinit02 eddie and buck embark on the most platonic journey of all: marriage! God I love it when these two accidentally play out their wildest dreams and stay in denial about it. Trope executed to perfection, I want to swim around in this fic!
i know it’s not very sexy when somebody loves you this much and knows you this well by @shitouttabuck buck thinks kissing men and women feels pretty much the same. eddie’s not buying it. sometimes settling a bet requires kissing your best friend, a lot, for research. You know when you read a fic and just go 'oh they so would.' That's this fic.
my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand by saintsnames in which buck and eddie slowly come to the conclusion that getting each other off for pain relief is just one of the many totally normal, platonic things they do together. Not everyone agrees. Again....THEY SO WOULD.
Situationally Appropriate by @serenelystrange “You put this in my head!!” Chim whisper-yells back. “Oh my god, I never thought you’d actually admit it.” Or: Buck is living with Eddie, and has never been happier. It's ruining his life. Brilliant team banter, this one had me giggling.
pros and cons of resurrection by Talls “It almost feels like last night didn’t happen. Like that whole thing wasn’t real,” Buck says, giving Eddie an out. In which everything changes, nothing changes, and Buck has to save the day. Again.
love being stupid by @ithilien-writes So maybe Buck actually is in love with his straight best friend. It's cool, though. He knows Eddie gets it, even if Maddie doesn't. Truly the intricate rituals and hoops that Buck's mind will jump through, believing Eddie already knows and has preemptively quietly rejected him. This feels so innately Buck. Bless him.
stuck in secrets that i've spoken by @effervescentwolf “Maybe you should try casual. Date a friend who would still be your friend after you break up,” Buck says, and in the same breath, without thinking, “Date me.” Spoiler alert: it’s not casual. They don’t break up. And they have sex.
love in the palm of your hands by organyx “I don’t know, man. I need to get out of my head. It’s not a good place to be right now.” Buck hums. Lightheartedly, he says, “I could always spank you again.” Eddie’s been having a tough time since Christopher left. Buck offers an unorthodox solution. Some blissful kink.
Roll With The Punches by @turtleresponsibly “You can keep it.” Buck says now with a shrug, “Don’t really bike anymore. Too many cyclist-related calls.” Buck moves out. Eddie gets a new hobby to cope.
simply 'cause i do by @hyruling Buck dreams of Eddie confessing. They're definitely just dreams, until they aren't. Soft and romantic and still so them, imagine that one scene of Monica watching Chandler sleep in early seasons Friends, before they got together. That but lots and with two silly silly men.
a bleeding sun on a silver screen by @hoediaz an actor au from 2022 but new to me! One day, Buck will tell an interviewer that he would be happy to make movies with Eddie Diaz until the day he dies. But first, years before that, he sees Eddie for the first time on the set of Chimney’s fifth movie.
april showers and the flowers that bloom in may by @punksalmons Buck takes Bobby's place in sacrificing himself for Chimney during the lab emergency. Eddie isn't even close to ready to attend his funeral, but he goes with their family to lay him gently in the cold dark earth. Except - Buck calls Maddie in his funeral. Oh my god these two absolutely wrecked me. Beautifully reworking the lab call for damage in whole new ways. Gutting, and if you read the alternate ending, healing as well.
Hole Lotta Love by @rhodeys Buck waxes his asshole. Eddie has a best-friend level of curiosity about that. Love a smut fic that 1.) has Eddie diving right in and being peak horny about it and 2.) doesn't have kissing and yet still feels so damn intimate. Filthy and brilliant.
if it brings me to my knees by @butchdiaz fleabag au, the fleabag au! Eddie is the priest, their for Buck and Maddie's parents' vowel renewal. Their young, hot priest. Oh no. Reworked so well to capture the spirit of the OG with our guys, I just loved this!
House Rules by @runawaymarbles In 2022, Hen and Karen made a bet. By 2024, that bet had gotten somewhat out of control. Now it’s 2025, Bobby is dead, Buck is apartment hunting, and Eddie finds a list of names and dates in Hen’s locker...Betting on when your friends will realize they're in love is a lot less funny when one of them already knows. Gorgeous Eddie and Hen POV, super messy, painful and delicious!!!
bid my blood to run by @absolutelybifurious “I met a lady on the call the other day, the one I pulled out of the other unit… she said she was psychic and then started talking about granting wishes. It all sounded so ridiculous, but I-I think she did something to me. I know I sound crazy, but I think I have to do whatever people tell me to.” Eddie is cursed on a call, and needs someone he can trust to know him. The peril and turnaround and relief in this is so so well done!
a million little stars (you lyin' next to me) by @idiotsinkdaisies Three nights after Eddie moves back to LA for good, Buck sleepwalks into his bed. Dealing with grief, change, and homecomings, there's a lot to work through. Oh the emotional journey of this, I was absolutely enthralled. Angsty and heartwrenching, but full of so much love and cautious understanding. This feels like the perfect post s8, pre-s9 read.
more more more by @buckme Buck might’ve found it here, in Los Angeles. Home. It makes him itchy. But he wasn’t lying earlier when he begged Bobby for a second chance. This firefighting job is everything to him in a way nothing else has been able to stick. If he can keep his feet on the ground and his head out of his ass, he just might be able to stay put. A fantastic Buck character study through the years, set to Mt. Joy's More More More.
make me love myself (so that I might love you) by @sintari Buck explores his bisexuality. Eddie suffers. With Buck out of a relationship and determined to have fun with it, to figure out what he wants and doesn't want. Eddie hears all the updates, and goes a little out of his mind with it. But maybe what Buck wants is right under his nose. Really hot and excellent freak4freak behaviour.
the most remarkable thing about coming home to you (is the feeling of being in motion again) by mentholpainting The thing about Buck is that he likes simple sentences. Easy to follow instructions...He doesn’t like to guess, because guessing makes him nervous...So it’s just easier this way. It’s easier to cut the middle man and for Eddie to decide things for Buck. Buck moves out of Eddie's house in Los Angeles. A month later, Eddie and Christopher move back in.
hold tight, hold fast, hold on by @lacerta26 ‘He’s not my other dad, he’s just Buck.' Chris hates the idea of his Dad keeping stuff from him again, but ever since he got back from El Paso, there's been a vibe. Hushed arguments, a cloud of grief, and whilst he tries to settle back into LA life and his friendship group, Chris is left feeling ever more out of sorts. He pushes back against the feeling, and sooner or later something or someone is going to explode.
Patch Me Up by @not-blonde-yet okay so I didn't get sucked in to the great Hawaii 2.0 watchalong, but it doesn't matter, this AU is still readable to a newb, and so much fun and gave me a great glimpse at the general vibe. Eddie's new next door neighbour might be a criminal...involved in the mob? Something that has him injured and turning up on his door for medical aid...luckily Buck is great with Eddie's kid.
pushing it down and praying by @handlememp3 after Eddie kisses Buck to keep him alive during the high rise collapse, he tells him they can’t be together. Mutual angst and yearning ensues. Oh my god the feelings!!!
shared graves by @aashiqeddiediaz RIP moustache! When Eddie had casually brought up the fact that Chris is coming home, and that he’s ready to get rid of the mustache, Buck had pounced at the opportunity to follow him. Or, there's a mustache, then there isn't, and they're in love and horny about it. So intimate and lovely.
The Placeholder by @livesbetweenpages In an effort to not ruin what he has with Eddie, Buck decides to find "The One" by creating a list of must have qualities that he's looking for in his future significant other. Too bad he doesn't realize that the list is an awfully familiar description of someone he already knows. Aaaaaaaaah my heart!!!!!
YIKES! Let's stop there for this month folks, but don't forget to check out my daily ficrec tag, where there's even more goodness from this talented fandom updated as I find it!
PS - if someone knows a handle I've missed tagging, please let me know!
I last did one of these in May and thought I'd do another :) tried to tag everyone's tumblr accounts if I knew it! These are in no particular order jk theyre in the order i sent them chronologically in the recs channel of my discord server
If you immediately don't like some of these listed you probably won't like any of them because I like what I like!
cinco de leches by @tanktopdiaz
e | 3.3k | oneshot
The new guy pauses in the background and turns so he’s facing Mr Makin’ It, who’s deep in a sultry story about how he took his time making sure he picked the juiciest, plumpest, reddest strawberries in the whole market as he pushes his apron-trapped cock against the table. Mystery Man moves like he’s laughing, then he’s got both hands ripping off his belt and starting on the buttons of his jeans.
Mr Makin’ It doesn’t pay him a lick of attention – crazy. He’s never had a guest star before. He knows this is happening, right?
The guy walks off.
Earth to viewer –
or: the free use onlyfans cooking show
hope the feeling goes away by organyx
e | 3.7k | oneshot
Buck drops to his knees on the harsh, unforgiving tile of the kitchen floor, and he prays that Eddie follows him into that dark, depraved abyss.
“Fuck,” Eddie mutters, hand still firmly planted on Buck’s shoulder. His other hand drops to Buck’s other shoulder, fingers digging in tightly, white-knuckled and clinging. Buck blinks up at him, slow and dreamy, chest heaving and mouth dropped open. His face is flushed red, open and vulnerable, and he tries to convey everything with just his eyes: tell me to stop. Tell me I’m making a fool of myself. Tell me to get up and I’ll listen.
Eddie’s expression screws up, eyes squeezing shut, and he frantically nods, encouraging Buck with a two-handed squeeze.
He's the Earth and Heaven to You by LongConvolutedSimiles
e | 4k | oneshot
It’s only a moment, a quick once over, then Eddie tilts his head back and forth like he’s weighing options in his head and says “Where is your spare?”
-
aka. That basketball date between Buck and Eddie that Buck was telling Ravi about and what happened after.
Water Lovers by @xylodemon
e | 10.7k | oneshot
"It's not what it looks like," Buck blurts.
Bobby's eyebrows reach for his hairline. "So you weren't violating the one-firefighter-per-shower regulation?"
"We," Buck sputters. "I mean, okay, yeah. We were, but we—"
"We were figuring out breakfast," Eddie cuts in.
"Well, next time, figure it out in different stalls."
(Or: Five Times They Shared a Shower at the Station and One Time They Shared One at Home)
you need to cry, baby by @roosterseresin
e | 3.8k | oneshot
the first time it happens, it scares the shit out of eddie.
or... buck keeps crying during sex.
smash a plate over my head (set fire to our bed) by @eddiewasinthearmy
e | 5.3k | oneshot
Eddie sighs, moving away from Buck to place the dry dish in the cupboard. “Alright, Buck. Why don’t you say what you really want to instead of talking in circles.”
“Alright,” Buck bites back as he rinses off the second plate. He turns and places it in Eddie’s hands in a way that flicks water all over Eddie’s shirt. Definitely intentional. They lock eyes, and Eddie sees a mix of irritation and betrayal. “Why did you move to Texas?”
or: Buck and Eddie fight about Buck moving out. Or they fight about the dishes. Unclear. But then they fuck about it.
when you look at me like that, my darling (what do you expect) by sungodlou
e | 35k | 2/2 chapters
This summer has had some subversive effects on his very definition of what it means to want.
He’s always been good at not wanting too much or too recklessly. But these days, it seems like he’s insatiable, wrought with hunger and pillaging to consume.
Maybe it's because this kind of wanting feels offensive—something he thought he’d snuffed out decades ago, made benign.
He’s always been so good at beating it down, down, down into submission whenever it reared its ugly head; he had a handle on it.
Now, it’s all gone to shit.
or; Buck and Eddie have sex, Eddie freaks out. Wash, rinse, repeat.
just a fool (expecting a miracle) by sungodlou
e | 2.9k | oneshot
What the fuck is a clearly fresh copy of 'What To Expect When You’re Expecting' doing in Buck’s nightstand?
His eyes widen as they jump to another item siting right beside the book: a bottle of lube. A bottle of lube, and notably, no condoms.
No condoms. He feels so stupid because of course, of course. They were being so reckless.
It hits him all at once—holy shit. Buck is pregnant.
Eddie “Never Learns” Diaz has accidentally gotten someone pregnant. Again.
at long last by tigersharks
e | 15k | oneshot
Because Eddie, in his haze of pleasure, takes his other, unrestrained hand and reaches down, trailing it against the sticky wet of his precome and grabs onto his dick, jerking it in all too familiar, practiced movements and Buck thinks—
Buck thinks, oh.
Buck thinks, I want to be the one giving him pleasure. I want to make him feel good. I want to service him.
And that’s the whole problem, really.
wet your lips first by @lacerta26
e | 6k | oneshot
Eddie lounges on the bed, idly scrolling on his phone, listening to Buck’s off-key singing in the shower. It’s always the same, Buck likes his showers hot enough to scald, coming out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, pink and scrubbed, and Eddie knows tonight will be no different, waiting as the water shuts off and Buck comes into the room, backlit by the bright lights of the en suite, naked and still dripping as Eddie watches and enjoys.
To the casual observer it might seem like Buck moves aimlessly about the room, flitting from nightstand to chest of drawers to laundry basket but Eddie knows the routine, the steps plotted out in Buck’s head. He’s not complaining about the view he gets either; Buck’s broad shoulders and strong thighs, littered with tattoos chosen by a Buck Eddie didn’t know, the softness of his belly and hips, his strength, right to the core of him. Buck is fastidious with his waxing routine, water still dripping from his hair, running slowly over his collarbones and quickly down his smooth chest. Eddie watches a drop all the way from Buck’s neck to his hip. He wants to chase it with his tongue. He wants to suck the water out of Buck’s hair. Lap at him until he’s damp with Eddie’s spit instead.
you might have noticed by @tidesreach
e | 8.4k | oneshot
He drops his eyes down from Eddie's careful gaze. Has to. Before he starts tumbling out words that sound like I love you or fucking—marry me? God. He settles his gaze back on Delilah instead. Those big, saucer eyes staring up at Eddie like he’s—well, magic. Like he’s the centre of the universe. Thinks, me too, kiddo.
or, Buck and Eddie find a baby and figure some things out.
let's put this to the test by @thatbuddie
e | 10k | oneshot
“You know you don’t have to do this, right?” Buck asks, tapping his thumbs against the front of the clipboard. He’s not nervous, necessarily, but this is the first time all day that it’s been just him and Eddie, and the weight of that settles over Buck making breathing harder.
Eddie’s eyes are glued to Buck’s moving thumbs, to the clipboard he’s holding. He stays silent and silent and silent.
“Eddie?” Buck calls, and this makes Eddie shake his head and finally move his gaze away from Buck’s hands and his clipboard to meet Buck’s eyes.
“What?” Eddie mumbles, like he’s waking up from a haze.
“I was saying that you don’t need to help me with this,” Buck says lightly waving the clipboard in front of him.
“But I want to,” Eddie says, and it sounds resounding and unequivocal. “I want to.”
Buck takes a deep breathe and says, “Okay, then let’s do this.”
(or 5 times Buck suspects just how much Eddie likes seeing him with a clipboard and one time he knows for sure.)
i might let you make me juno by @lacerta26
e | 3.3k | oneshot
‘What did you do to me?’ says Buck, low and breathless, like a secret.
Eddie swallows, the click of his throat sounds so loud in the hush of the room, damning somehow, proof of how well Buck knows him, how quickly he can get to the root of it.
‘What did you do to me,’ Buck says again, when Eddie doesn’t speak.
‘Knocked you up,’ Eddie grits out, turned on and already out of his mind.
knockin' boots, me and you by @eddiegettingshot / @browneggs
e | 8.7k | oneshot
He starts to wriggle out of Eddie’s hold and is caught before he can go anywhere. “Eddie?”
“Can we go again?” Eddie asks.
wishing someone would film the way i’m looking at you right now by @shitouttabuck
e | 6.2k | oneshot
Which brings Eddie to his current predicament: drowning in love and unable to do a thing about it, all while being subjected to his criminally attractive best friend sauntering around sans a shirt at every hour of the goddamn day.
Morning toothbrushing? Shirtless. After school video games? Shirtless. Reading on the couch? Shirtless. Weeding the garden in LA summer sunshine? Shirtless and sweaty. Asleep half a foot of bedspace away from Eddie? There aren’t even pants involved. Existing day-to-day seems to have become a topless event where Buck is concerned, because Eddie has apparently racked up enough overdue penance for several lifetimes.
or, eddie loves living with his best friend. he just really wishes buck would put on a fucking shirt
sink into you by @hyruling
e | 2.3k | oneshot
“Yeah?” Eddie asks, adding more pressure until his thumb just barely dips inside, a taste of the overwhelming heat of him. “Could fuck you like this instead. You want that?”
just like clementines by @wimbledon2008
e | 4.4k | oneshot
Eddie should’ve closed the window.
They’d opened it the night before, letting cool air sweep through the house while they slept. Now, late morning heat saturated the room. Sweat gathered at the nape of Eddie’s neck, wetting the ends of her hair. Dripping tendrils curled around her ears, clinging to her skin.
Her hand was soaked, too—fingers and palm and around to the back of it.
A thought occurred to her. Lifting her hand, Eddie pressed the pads of her index and middle fingers to her thumb. She rubbed them together and felt the raised ridges catch.
Like sitting in bathwater too long, her fingertips were pruned from Buck’s cunt.
The absurdity of the comparison made Eddie smile.
the most beautiful bitter fruit by sungodlou
e | 9.7k | oneshot
Buck's smiles are just as bright under a Texan sun as they are under a coastal one, but Eddie, of course, already knew this.
or; buck visits eddie in texas, eddie stares and sweats and wants
what happens in tahoe by montygreenn
m | 22k | oneshot
“I just don’t see what the big deal is,” Chimney says, joining them at the table. “Why don’t you just go on the trip, Buck? Take Eddie. We can get your shifts covered, it’s, what—three nights?”
“The big deal,” Buck says in exasperation, slamming his fork down, “is that it’s a couples retreat. For couples.”
“And?” Chimney raises his eyebrows, still not buying it.
“And I entered the giveaway when Tommy and I were still together!” Buck snaps. ”I don’t want t-to—it would just feel weird, okay? It’s supposed to be all—like, romantic. Flower petals on the bed and stuff.”
Buck and Eddie take a romantic getaway. Platonically.
head blow by @punksalmons
m | 24k | 3/3 chapters
In 2027, Buck takes a tumble and fall during a building fire and forgets three years of his life.
He forgets that he and Tommy broke up. He forgets that Christopher is back from Texas, and already in high school. He forgets that he and Eddie got together, and are engaged to be married.
He forgets Bobby’s dead.
we are like frogs oblivious by facewithoutheart
e | 9.8k | oneshot
A mysterious illness gets Buck admitted to the hospital. Upon his release, Eddie takes the next plane to LA to check on Buck. What he finds will change their relationship forever.
Buck chuckles, “Eddie, how could I have a uterus if I didn’t also have a vagina?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Eddie snarks, “because this is all so normal. I should have known that when your best friend, who is a guy, gets splashed with tainted water and suddenly grows an entire secondary reproductive system, that I should have just assumed he now also has a vagina. Yup, I totally should have expected this!”
Buck tips his nose upwards. “It’s not not normal.”
“Oh my—show me your damn vagina, Buck.”
“Not if you’re going to be an ass about it.”
some good girls do bad things by @lacerta26
e | 5k | oneshot
‘Have you ever done it?’ Eddie says, looking down at the beer in his hands, sprawled on the couch at South Bedford.
‘Have I ever done Friends with Benefits?’ says Buck incredulously, too flirtatious for the nerves sitting on his chest, but Eddie is just looking at him seriously so he sobers, ‘yeah, a few times.’
Eddie nods, once, ‘and you can do that? Have sex with a friend and not have it mean anything more?’
‘Sure,’ Buck agrees.
It was true way back when with friends at college, girls he knew from his various jobs, friends of friends who weren’t looking for anything serious. It was fun, easy. Having sex with someone regularly, someone you know and like, you get to know what they’re into, what they’re not and you can get deeper into what brings you both pleasure even if it never gets serious in any way beyond friendship. If Buck's being honest he was always holding out some hope that one of his semi-regular hookups might have turned into something more but it was a good way to blow off steam regardless, a shortcut to intimacy he wasn’t getting anywhere else and yeah– it was fun. It was fun.
‘Could you do it with me?’
my love can ease him in my hand by @thirdwheelravi
e | 1.8k | oneshot
His eyes are still teary, swollen and red. Raw and vulnerable. He’s beautiful, the kind of beauty that makes Eddie feel tender, makes him want to take care of him. And at the same time, makes Eddie want to wreck him more.
or, buck and eddie have the most basic married missionary sex but somehow manage to be utterly deranged about it
can't blame gravity by sungodlou
e | 3k | oneshot
It's probably only been two minutes, tops—not that he has any concept of time. All coherent thought went flying summarily out of his head the second Buck dropped to his knees for him.
or; The first time Buck gives him a blowjob, it doesn't go quite how Eddie thought it would.
stuck in secrets that i've spoken by @effervescentwolf
e | 15k | oneshot
“Maybe you should try casual. Date a friend who would still be your friend after you break up,” Buck says, and in the same breath, without thinking, “Date me.”
He snaps his mouth shut, his entire body flushing with heat. Eddie looks at him for a very, very long second. “You.”
Through the sudden panic, Buck’s mouth goes on autopilot, “No sex, just a few dates, we’ll have an amicable break up. I already know and love Christopher. And anyway, I’m a guy. So, no need to worry about you catching feelings either.”
-
Spoiler alert: it’s not casual. They don’t break up. And they have sex.
come on, get higher by montygreenn
e | 39.9k | oneshot
“Okay, this is—” Eddie runs a hand through his hair, growing increasingly distressed, “you guys are purposely missing the point here. Buck, I’m not getting high with you, dude.”
“Uh, why not?” Buck asks, tilting his head. He has the audacity to sound genuinely puzzled.
“We can’t. We’re firefighters,” Eddie says, confused that Buck is confused.
Buck gives him a sad smile. “Not right now, we aren’t. And we won’t be, Eddie, not for a while.”
Buck and Eddie get injured on the job and decide to smoke a lot of weed about it.
however i can have you by anonymous
e | 27k | oneshot
It's really good sex. Buck might be addicted. He does wish things were a little different—but alas, the tricky circumstances of having sex with your straight best friend to cure the unexplained appearance of a vagina.
Or, Buck finds himself in possession of a vagina. Eddie, because he's such a good friend, volunteers to help Buck--first to relax, and then to get his dick back. Because he is so nice, and a good friend, and straight!
TO LOVE IS TO ENTER TERROR [after Christian Wiman]
etsy ₍^. .^₎⟆ | redbubble ᓚ₍⑅^..^₎♡ | IG 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
"Falling in love seems at the same time an intensification of consciousness and the loss of it. Never are the physical facts of existence more apparent and cherished, and never is their impermanence more obvious and painful. One is reduced and exalted at the same time, an animal spirit, a spiritual animal. This experience brings most of us closer to a knowledge of God than anything in our lives, which is to say, closer to that unknowingness that heightens and haunts every aspect of our lives, and is our death. For that's what we feel when we feel most alive, the bite (it may not be conscious at all) of life's ending. To love is to enter this terror, to revel in it, and even, for a time, to triumph over it."
— Christian Wiman, from "A Million Little Oblivions," in My Bright Abyss
Anyway I like how Chattopadhyaya put it when he said Jesus wasn’t any kind of socialist (because there’s no evidence Jesus ever thought that hard about how society works) but he did have a rudimentary critique of property. Siddharta was similar and Chattopadhyaya compares their respective early movements by saying Siddharta had the more robust theoretical critique though Jesus’ earliest followers may have had a more radical praxis in terms of setting up communities. In both cases however their respective founders critiques of property and implicit critiques of class would be undone by the introduction of monasticism which transformed a critique of society into a spiritual discipline reserved for a small group of spiritually-elite people
“Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature, is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.”
anyway… if anyone is looking to improve their reading & writing skills, i highly recommend this article by celine nguyen, which analyses the opening paragraphs of good essays to understand how and why they work. focuses on nonfiction but could apply generally i think
art will save you, being unreasonably passionate about something niche will save you, letting past sources of joy show you the way back to yourself will save you, earnestness over composure will save you, the natural world will save you, caring for something bigger than yourself will save you, daring to be seen will save you, kindness not as a whim but a principle will save you, appreciation as a practice will save you, daring to try something new will save you, grounding will save you, love will save you, one good nights sleep will save you
i'm going to listen to the album of the artist you like even though he's not really my vibe. i'm going to read the book you suggested even though it's not a genre i usually enjoy. i'll watch the show. i will try the recipe. i will play the video game, or at least watch a deep-dive youtube explaining the really-long lore so i have some idea of what's happening. the movie you suggested is too scary for me, but - i mean, the wikipedia page is kind of interesting - look at the length of the section Controversy.
this is not a burden. i think maybe "burden" and "love" might be oppositional, the way sometimes "love" and "hate" are not opposites. a burden is a dragging. i love you because you brought me to the water, and it is the horizon of your heart. i love you because of your nervous pacing around the edges of the rabbit hole.
often you are right. some songs on that album remind me of the spark in your eyes. the book was really thought-provoking.
more i just want to understand enough that you can talk to me. that you can explain, in depth, why it matters that wheat has shallow roots. i love you, even platonically - your love of this thing leaks into me. i watch you, cautious and dancing, the shy desire for you to smear the colors of this thing into my life, too.
they are your colors, though. of course i want them here, in the marginalia of my life. you matter to me. i want them to crowd the little moments of my day. i want your fingerprints scattered throughout the rooms of my heart.
one time i spent about six months reading and researching a particular author, just so i could talk to one of my friends about him. i never got the chance. she betrayed me, broke my trust, and sided with her abusive ex-boyfriend. standing in the sodden floodplain of what she left over, some bitter part of me asked - isn't that tragic? you have all this knowledge and nothing to do with it.
but i did have all that knowledge, though. when i reach for it, i still feel it glow.
