[shirodontpullout-deactivated201]

naruto but instead of him saying “multiple shadow clone jutsu” he says “yea can i get 1000 more of these little blonde bitches” 

[heartshapedbasil]

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

[dadbodbobby]

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

[fuckdamn]

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

[vexwerewolf]

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

[lindseymorqan]

[rottingtrouble-child]

this is my inner child btw

[log6]

the 5 love languages are:

- Sharing a blunt

- All forms of cooking

- Being incredibly stupid on purpose

- Collaborative hating

- Ignoring things

[lakevida]

will you please take my whimsical ass seriously

[solisaureus]

came home drunk last night and got way too excited to see my cat

[yellow-cat]

babe what's wrong you've barely touched your vanilla extract

[emotion-deluxe]

No offense but where are the male porn bots

[leahthedreamer]

The show is so realistic cause look how much ammo they wasted on two clickers, they’re just like us.

[andrewbelami]

I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation

[myfirstname]

i’m ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation

[fallingtowers]

bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"

[fallingtowers]

[luntfontanne]

when you all keep recommending shows about teenagers to me

[unbotheredmuse]

[fairycosmos]

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

[touching-living-breathing]

That's called being an adult

[fairycosmos]

no it’s called being the bravest girl on planet earth

[kaijuno]

[fairycosmos]

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.