I'm a bad "Best Friend"

Hey! I'm 21 years old. Some of you might remember me for having depression for some years. I was wrong with that. I feel like I only have depressive phases that are still really bad. Please DM me if you need someone to talk to. I'll try my best to cheer you up, even it's its just listening to your problems. Take care ❤️

[baddestbestfriend]

"Could you live with the thought that you killed someone?" I have to live with the thought that calling the ambulance which saved that persons live was the worst thing I have done. That that persons live was ruined because of me. Killing someone or saving someone seems both to be wrong.

[baddestbestfriend]

I guess I really am easy to replace... Maybe I shouldn't let people near me

[baddestbestfriend]

I do love that I have a lot of guy friends and that guys feel comfortable around me. I mean on discord where they don't know my gender they always thought I was a guy because they could talk to me like I was a dude (I know that sounds pick me but I actually spend the most time of my childhood with my brother and his friends which is why I have a lot of masculine vibes)

But everytime I think about relationships I have the feeling I will always be just a friend, that no one will be attracted to me because of the masculine side of me even tho I did change through puberty. I did become more feminine but apparently not enough.

I always say 'I'm not even ready for a relationship', 'I don't care about being single' and stuff like that but I would love to know the feeling about someone caring for me in a romantic way. Someone who will look at me and smile like I am the best thing that ever happened to them. Someone who could imagine a future with me.

Maybe this will always be a dream, a wish.

[baddestbestfriend]

My female boss just asked me how it's going with the studying for the final exams and I tried to explain to her that I sadly couldn't study much during my week off because of my father.

My father had a mild stroke which is why he is not allowed to drive for one month.

I told my female boss that he's not allowed to drive for one month due to medical reasons (not everyone has to know that my father had a stroke) and this bitch had the audacity to tell me "just tell the truth your father drank to much and sat behind the wheel"

BITCH MY WHOLE FAMILY DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE AND YOU ACCUSED MY OWN FATHER FOR THIS?!

[baddestbestfriend]

✨New Trauma unlocked✨

I think I got drugged on a party this weekend. I never thought something like that could happen to me but it did. I don't know if I ever want to drink again. The next day I was at a birthday party and said I won't drink instead I was the driver. Even tho there were only people who I knew I always had my cup in my hand scared it could happen again. The trust issues got worse.

Thank you for that trauma! I hate it :')

Please be safe when yall are out! Don't leave your drinks unattended!

[baddestbestfriend]

My mental illnesses are strong but my healed soul is stronger

I wish for everyone to feel the same success someday

[baddestbestfriend]

I just want to hang out with someone and since my brother was planning on meeting his friends I asked if I could tag along. He said he didn't care but now he is gone and I am at home. My parents also nagged about that he want to meet HIS friends... They just don't know how it feels to be alone without friends.

[baddestbestfriend]

How can I become better in school? I'm trying so hard but it seems I can't remember anything when it's really necessary. I'm scared of the final exams. Can I really pass them?

[baddestbestfriend]

THANK YOU! ❤️

I just went through some old messages here and realized that I never thanked all of you. Thank you for the follows. Thank you for the likes. Thank you for messaging me and telling me I have a good site. And most importantly... Thank you all for staying strong! I love you all and I wish you all a great life ❤️

[baddestbestfriend]

Again before my birthday party there is a huge argument. It's always on my birthday. Why? I just want to celebrate my birthday once without any arguments or feeling depressed.

[baddestbestfriend]

Why couldn't I been born with a healthy body? Everyday I struggle with common tasks like walking or even drinking water. I learned to love how my body looks but I can't live in it any longer! What did I do in my past life to deserve these health conditions? And why can't any doctor help me? I'm only 20 years old but I feel like I life in a 80 year old body! Please some one help me... I want to enjoy my youth...

[baddestbestfriend]

My friends just "trolled" me by saying they were driving home drunk. I got really worried and told them to not do that but they just told me to shut up and that they are old enough. After they revealed thah they were kidding I was crying out of disappointment. It's something you don't joke about.

Please don't drink and drive and also don't try to fool friends till they cry.

[baddestbestfriend]

I told my parents that I want to move out with 18 but my parents dont want that. Why? It's like they hate me so why do they want me to stay?

[baddestbestfriend]

What do I do if I have feelings for my best friend and he does too but we don’t want to ruin our friendship so we haven’t pursued anything but he has been talking to other girls romantically and has lied to me about it? I feel like I should walk away but I can’t imagine my life without him. Even just as a friend.

If it hurts you so badly just let him leave. It will hurt at the beginning but it will get better. If you both really love each other give it a try. You guys can still be friends.

[baddestbestfriend]

By the way guys I finally figured out how you guys can message me privately. I am now available for everyone of you! It doesn't matter if it's for advice or if you just want someone to talk.

Stay healthy and positive!💕

[baddestbestfriend]

I already know I’m worthless. The voices in my head keep telling me.

You are NOT worthless! Its hard to believe me because of that voices in your head but they are telling lies!

[baddestbestfriend]

As of 2019 love doesn’t exist. I’ve been dying for love since 2009. Any ways I can get over it? Instead of getting humiliated? I could just go with the status quo on how nobody cares about anybody?

Just wait. The right one will come when you at least expect it! Sadly we have to be patient to find true happiness