Words to the Wise, Seriously

Greetings visitors! The great leader Bieber Hussein has generously provided his people with the internet, so I'm pleased to create this and many other blogs in his honor! With that said, let me introduce myself. My name is Eric Cartman, and a little while ago I was so graciously plucked from my world and brought here for a reason that has not yet been explained to me, but I'm just dying to find out! But while we're all here, who better to follow than, I believe, one of dear leader's most loyal fans! I'll be updating about the latest news and stories from a ground level perspective of one of Bieber Hussein's newly recruited subjects! As you will see from this blog, I am the most interesting and well-rounded person brought here, so if there's anyone reading this with connections to the great leader? They'd probably be more than impressed with my devotion to this world and should consider me for any and all positions of authority! ALL HAIL THE BIEBER! ((This blog is for RP purposes only. Any opinions held by this character do not represent the opinions of the person playing him. For the main RP page, please go here. For Cartman's Livejournal, please go here. Mun: Labyrinth1n3))

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incitedtoriot replied to your post: PIRATE FIGHT!

No, and also no. We were supposed to /discuss this with our crew and return to negotiations,/ you derelict; not decide to steam forward with your ‘winner takes all’ plan. When you proposed this, this was a duel between you and myself.

My team is OBVIOUSLY consents to this fight seeing as we've been TRAINING FOR IT ever since we GOT ourselves into this mess. And EXCUSE ME Princess, but I SAID the winner takes the "portion of the prize" we were TALKING ABOUT. Did you not READ the bit about "not destroying ships" or were you too busy walking Christophe's plank?

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PIRATE FIGHT!

Attention Mateys (and non Mateys), we're having a fucking PIRATE THROW DOWN at ((enter coordinates)) THREE MOONS FROM NOW AT SUNSET. That means you have three days to train, SO GET A MOVE ON. My ship has already trained super hard for this, since we're just badass. Winner gets all the fucking treasure and everyone's share of the contest booty. Just NO KILLING AND NO BOAT SINKING, that would be totally lame.

SO LETS GET PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN UP IN THIS BITCH!

((Group log Monday night guys! Lets shoot for 8pm EST as always!))

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jm8372tp replied to your post: jm8372tp replied to your post: ALRIGHT...

I will have you know that the only payment I require is that blasted parrot in my custody. No parrot, no Myers. As such, you should not expect any compliance from my end unless you have what I want. Do you have the parrot, Fatbeard?

Lucky for you I have a fucking parrot, courtesy of a net and a dart gun. It's wing is a tad retarded though, but it won't fly away that's for sure! It's also a little nasty, but you like a challenge... right?

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incitedtoriot replied to your post: jm8372tp replied to your post: ALRIGHT...

…Pirate Persona.

LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ONE, HYPOCRITE. 

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jm8372tp replied to your post: ALRIGHT SCALLEYWAGS, OR HOWTHEFUCKEVER THAT IS PRONOUNCED

What do you say, Fat Boy — I mean Beard? Hear out my suggestions in exchange for my services? And what is the back story behind this FatBeard fella, huh, matey? Another persona that you aspire to be, one that compensates for insecurities? 8]

WTF Myers? I'm just going to have a Fatbeard and "Captain Fatbeard" has been my Pirate Persona for like, ever! And compensate for WHAT? Don't give me any of that Fat Boy shit or it won't be YOU walking the plank... but the one you've been looking for since the beginning of this trip.

[badkittymypotpie-blog]

jm8372tp replied to your post: ALRIGHT SCALLEYWAGS, OR HOWTHEFUCKEVER THAT IS PRONOUNCED

As delighted as I am that you have considered my worth as a man of rebellious, treasure-scavenging nature, I’m afraid that I will have to treat you as the competition. I don’t expect you to work for me, but perhaps beside me, as an alliance of sorts.

Actually no you're just on our team. We have what you've been looking for, and we're not giving "her" up unless you comply. Consider this leverage. 

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incitedtoriot replied to your post: ALRIGHT SCALLEYWAGS, OR HOWTHEFUCKEVER THAT IS PRONOUNCED

Yes, it is most certainly your nonexistent beard that your team is named after.

You just fucking watch. My beard will be better than anything YOU could ever grow. Have you even gone through puberty yet? I didn't want to ask this publically, but I've had my suspicions... 

It's okay though, we're all friends here.

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her-indigo-eyes replied to your post: ALRIGHT SCALLEYWAGS, OR HOWTHEFUCKEVER THAT IS PRONOUNCED

I’m sure our greatest concern is not a SAUSAGE FEST.

That's like, my greatest concern when I'm tackling anything.

[badkittymypotpie-blog]

ALRIGHT SCALLEYWAGS, OR HOWTHEFUCKEVER THAT IS PRONOUNCED

Here is my Team, AKA Team FatBeard (because my beard is totally going to be fat and big and fearsome not because I'm fat obviously you fucking douchebags).

Wendy

Kyle

Josh - IF HE'S DOING THIS, but we'll take Ike or Kenny.

or red or hen so its not so much of a sausage fest...

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[Private Post] Dear Journal.

I'm only slightly surprised that I haven't written one of these in a while, more or less because I think my older self is in complete fucking denial when it comes to how badly that greedy Jew has been playing him. At this rate, I could have forgiven Wendy back at Bieberfest and I'd PROBABLY be in a better place than I am now. Now it just feels like I'm some fucking weird as thirdwheel to Gregory and Christophe - which isn't true AT ALL but it still FEELS that way since NEITHER of them can figure out their own shit and they're just too perfect to break up.

Besides I don't want that shit that happened in Christophe's world to happen here.

I think everyone just lost focus ever since we figured out just what the fuck is really going on here, as if everyone's just accepted that the situation is beyond our control and there's no real way to get around it. I for one think that's utter BULLSHIT but what the hell am I supposed to do? Everyone's more concerned with their own relationship drama here than getting back up to space, me included! Well, me as a seventeen year old who wants to apparently bone anyone who even SNAPS at him.

I mean, I personally wouldn't mind if Kyle suddenly stopped being such a flippant tease but it's not like I'm going to play by HIS rules to get there? WHAT rules even, his so-called "boundaries" are so indiscriminate that I don't even know if they EXIST. Not to mention he's still pining over Stan who's more annoying in this world than any incarnation I've ever SEEN of him. ESPECIALLY as a 13 year old, Jesus FUCK.

I think I should talk to that Josh kid more. I think he knows more than he's letting on and I need to start believing in something again. I need to believe I can get out of here without losing faith in Kyle as a person and before I get knifed by Christophe. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who can save us all anyway. That or Fuckface, but... ugh.

Ugh okay I don't know WHY Gregory started becoming so appealing all of a sudden, but he just HAS and its so fucking ANNOYING and the more he GRIPES at me the more ALIVE I feel and it just feels so much more FAMILIAR. But Gregory is such a fucking dork, like, TEN TIMES the dork Kyle could EVER be and it disgusts me that... gross nevermind.  I just need to remind me of the shit that weirds me out about him, like the way he dresses and the way he SPEAKS and his stupid arrogant sneer and EVERYTHING. 

What's even MORE annoying is the way he gets when Christophe and I talk. Like, Kenny's my best friend and all (even though he's a fucking douchebag, I cant believe he said that shit to me the other day WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS) but Christophe and I are pretty tight too and he's all "STOP TALKING TO HIM" and I just want to be like "WHY NOT? BECAUSE HE'S STILL TO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU?" 

You know I think that's how I'm going to fucking get back at him. He and Christophe will still be boyfriends, fine, but I'll be the BESTEST friend Christophe has EVER HAD.  That will drive Gregory NUTS, HAH! Okay this sounds fun, and of course I want to brag to Kenny about this but he would PROBABLY tip Christophe off and thats gay as balls. 

I should start on this soon, maybe I'll piss people off enough to get them to want to GTFO again. 

[badkittymypotpie-blog]

@Christophe.

we coolsies now?

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incitedtoriot replied to your post: incitedtoriot replied to your video: WELL It looks...

That’s not manfood that’s a trainwreck. With butter.

YOUR a trainwreck with butter. A Butter HEAD.

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afuckinusername replied to your post: afuckinusername replied to your post:...

fry that shit in butterrrr fuck yeah!!!!

Fuck. We need to go to Gomez Mart like, TONIGHT. Have they all turned into kids too? Can we just like, beat them up, take the bacon, and leave? That would be killer, free bacon and butter and everything. That way I can save my Bieberbucks for... wait nothing cool happens here. GOD DAMN IT. We should just pull our Bieberbucks together and buy ourselves an army. THEN we could take over Fogel FOR SURE. Put them on their OWN REALITY SHOW before going back home!

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afuckinusername replied to your post: afuckinusername replied to your video: WELL It...

nope but sounds fucking tasty as shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttt BREAKFAST PARTY

I'll leave you to the PopTart part. Lord knows how creative you can get with those fucking things. 

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incitedtoriot replied to your video: WELL It looks like we’re BACK AT THE MERCY of...

Oh my God what the heck. That is absolutely disgusting. Who would eat that?

Oh I'm sorry, Gassy Gregory. We can make a PANSY edition where we pick out all the GREASY BACON for you. LORD KNOWS how much you HATE Manfood. 

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afuckinusername replied to your video: WELL It looks like we’re BACK AT THE MERCY of...

fuck yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssss

You remember that bacon troth we made? Fuck yeah. Breakfast tomorrow we're doing THIS shit. Anyone who likes my post and isn't a total tool is invited. Wendy's fine, I guess, Kenny you're obviously in. Kyle, as long as we're cool you're fine. Stan, suck a dick.

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WELL It looks like we're BACK AT THE MERCY of doing WHATEVER THE FUCKING ALIENS DO TO US. Assholes! So guess how I'm celebrating?! Fuck. Yes. It's not like I have to give a fuck anymore, and besides! I think the best when I'm bloated beyond comprehension. My best ideas I've ever come up with were when I was this age on a full stomach. Remember our to Middle School to High School Goods Exchange? Yeah. No one can deny that was GENIUS.