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kari | 25 | she/they | newton’s fourth law: put a little hot sauce on that bad boy

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[cyborg-furby]

I disrespect the grind tbh

[romanceyourdemons]

sex position: you, sitting on your throne. me, standing behind you, resting my arm on the back of your throne and sniling so sneetly at your ministers like i have any right to be there

[devilishdescent]

>the goblin leaps to attack!

>the goblin misses!

>the goblin has scraped his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

[thecollectibles]

Art by Laura El

[claws-in-my-back]

so who’s ready for loser queer summer

[officialpenisenvy]

hit after hit after hit

[prunsel]

if you've ever pet more than a few dogs you'd Know what dog residue is

[computationalcalculator]

[plasmapop]

09/04/2026 • every time @softinvasions writes a villanelle about how sonnets suck i write another suckful sonnet*. metrical malpractice!

*sonnets do not even have to have 14 lines if you are pure of heart and sonnetpilled enough

[colorado-rockies-official]

bunny moment

[colorado-rockies-official]

the baseball crowd loves unexpected animals far more than the baseball game

[colorado-rockies-official]

you come into our house and say something so brave and true

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"codify" is such a fun word. lawmakers! turn this into a fish

[zinesbycee]

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[lamignonette]

[mtftk9]

panicked when i heard crouton.net was down so i went and got the crouton from the wayback machine in case anyone needs it

[im-mender]

"scroll back up!" and it's a painting which you clocked as a painting immediately

[novahazard24]

For a brief second I thought this was part of the previous post on my tl and the car onions were the painting in question </3

[im-mender]

scroll 📜 back up! 🆙☝️ there's onion 🧅 and garlic 🧄 in the car seat 🚗💺

[kaiasky]

its terrible for any number of reasons, but i think if we invent immortality there should be an extreme sport called civilizational speedrunning where teams of 20 go into the wilderness somewhere and try and be the fastest build the first internal combustion engine. i bet you could get it down to like 3 years tops

[biggestzam]

The real trick is to eat seed heavy food before the speedrun starts so your first poops are halfway to agriculture already

[kaiasky]

i want you on my team holy shit