Bad SEO Pitches

[badseopitches]

SEO Co-had? What is an SEO Co-had?

Sometimes, there are no words. Today is one of those days. I'm just going to let this bad SEO pitch speak for itself ...

Hi, I am Orchards SEO Co-had for a Search Engine Optimization (SEO) company.

As per the trends in your industry - over 80% of people search for your products/services online and buy the same.

1.      Would you like to increase the leads / sales generated from your ************?

2.      Would you like to make your website Google friendly as well as Google responsive?

3.      Would you like to be listed at the top of every major search engine such as Google, Yahoo! & Bing for multiple search phrases (keywords) relevant to your products / services?

It would be recommended if you go for search engine optimization (SEO) for your website which would increase your web visibility and generate better prospect traffic to your website.

There is a simple equation that is applicable to the online world.

Ethical SEO | Better Traffic | Higher Sales

Just wondering, if you would be interested in improving the position of your website for the key terms your clients would be using to search your services.

Do let me know if you are interested and it shall be our pleasure to give you Details about our services and Offers Price .

I look forward for your reply.

----------------------

Kind Regards Orchards SEO Co-had

[badseopitches]

The Long List of SEO Services

For those not in the business, the world of SEO can seem like a black box. Something goes into the box and out comes your organic search engine rankings. Of course, trying to explain what goes on in that black box can get a little complicated. So, if you're a bad SEO pitcher and you find yourself needing to explain what it is you can do, why not list every single detail of what you can do to help the client. That will help you win the business, right "Jessice Jackson" of India? Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch ...

Dear Sir/Madam, Greeting for the day! As myself ‘Jessice Jackson “a Business Marketing Manager in SEO, Web Design & Web Development providing company based at Delhi -NCR in India. We offer a best and affordable SEO services per month for a 15 keywords package including below outlined monthly services & deliverables: 1. Keywords Analysis & Research 2. 200 Manually Directory Submissions 3. 90 Article Submissions (1 Articles Submit in 30 Top Directories) 4. 10 Press Release Distributions (1 Press Release submit in 10 Sites) 5. 5 Web2.0/Blog postings(Using pre-written articles) 6. 30 Social Bookmarking Submissions 7. 5 Classified Submissions 8. 3 Unique Article Writing (400+ words) 9. 1 Press Release Writing (350+ words) 10. Keywords Mapping 11. New Pages Suggestions 12. Keywords Research 13. Competitor Analysis 14. Title Tags Changes Suggestions 15. Meta Tags Changes Suggestions 16. Alt Tag Changes Suggestions 17. HTML Site Map 18. XML Site Map Setup 19. Anchor text optimization 20. Google webmaster setup 21. Google analytics setup 22. Weekly Work Report 23. Monthly Ranking Report 24. Monthly Full Detailed SEO Work Report in Excel Note: We send weekly report to each of our clients so that they can have regular updates on their website. Also, this shows that we work regularly on the website in a very elegant way. We use only white hat and ethical SEO techniques for websites. Please do let us know in case you are interested. Thanks & Regards, Jessice Jackson

Though this is not an automated email, we are sending these emails to all those people whom we find eligible of using our services. To unsubscribe from future mails (i.e., to ensure that we do not contact you again for this matter), “We will provide you best Services”, Please send us a mail back.

[badseopitches]

Follow-up From Alpana

Last week we shared the bad SEO pitch from "Alpana" who promised that he/she was not like those foreign emails that you get in your inbox every day pitching SEO services. Well, we didn't buy it last week and we're certainly not going to buy it this week in Alpana's latest follow-up email seeking a response on the offer. Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch ...

Hi,

Hope you are doing well.

I would appreciate your response. I am not sure if you already outsource your campaigns but in case you do, we can be a good option as they say one can never diversify enough to mitigate risk. We can provide you with some options here.

In case you don’t, I think it’s worth discussing the proposition we have.

You might just like it. Let me know if you are Interested and I would happy to send you more details & Prices.

I look forward to your response.

Regards, Alpana

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Just Be Sure to Mention Google, OK?

Aha. Google. The favorite company name drop of every bad SEO pitcher out there. It's almost as if our bad SEO pitchers believe that by simply mentioning the name Google (combined with "1st page results") is a golden ticket to get you to respond. At least, that's the way it seems in the case of today's bad SEO pitch from "Ruby." Enjoy the bad SEO pitch ...

Hey guys I hope you're well.

My name is Ruby, and I was doing some research on some of your competitors when I came across your site *************

We will send you the prices, after your reply and If you like the prices, then we will provide free initial analysis report and the keywords suggestion list with Google page 1 projection? I am more than happy to send it to you (free of charge of course).  All I want is the opportunity to discuss how I could help improve the profitability and search traffic to your site.

Are you free this week to discuss?

Kind Regards,  Ruby *******

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Expectations? You're Talking About SEO Expectations?

A while back, we heard from "Seth" who reached out to us to offer to connect us with clients seeking SEO and PPC help. It's an interesting take in the world of bad SEO pitches. But suspicious nonetheless. And then we got today's follow-up bad SEO pitch from Seth. He just wanted to make it clear that they have prospects that are expecting to hear back from a consultant. 

OK. We'll hop right on that. But first, enjoy today's bad SEO pitch ...

Hi,

I reached out to you several days ago regarding SEO/PPC prospects who contact us each day. To be clear, each prospect is expecting to hear back from a consultant.

Would you open to briefly discussing our lead generation process? I think this could potentially be a fresh avenue of business development for your agency.

I'll be available this afternoon and look forward to connecting.

Seth

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The "Reliable" SEO Expert

It's always interesting to see how our bad SEO pitchers present themselves in their email. Reputable. Cheap. Affordable. And then there's the "Reliable SEO Expert." Case in point: today's bad SEO pitch via "Alpana." Alpana lets us know up front that his/her services are not only reliable, but they are completely unlike all "those foreign emails you probably get in your inbox every day." Uh huh. Yet you're spamming me to show just how different you are from "those foreign emails." Great way to make your point. Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch ...

Hi,

I went to your website and wanted to shoot you a quick note.  I have the required expertise to rank your website locally to convert more visitors into leads and to get them placed higher in  the organic search results, for a few of the select terms.

This is NOT like one of those foreign emails you probably get in your inbox every day. Just to be upfront I am I have a large network of expert SEO professionals, designers and programmers.

I would just need to know which (if not both) services you're open to checking out information about, either web design or SEO. Would you be open to seeing more brief info / quote for what I would like to accomplish?

Thanks & Regards, Alpana

[badseopitches]

Affordable SEO Services! Seriously. They Are Affordable! And White Hat Too!

Don't you just love it when you find out that SEO services are affordable? My friend unsolicited SEO services pitcher "Sophia" reached out to me today (I feel as though I've heard from "Sophia" before!) to let me know that her company provides affordable SEO services. In fact, the services are so affordable that they can afford to do big things like optimizing your page titles and page descriptions. But lest you worry, these guys are totally legit because they assured me in the email that they use 100% white hat techniques (hey, them sending me an unsolicited email confirms that they are on the up and up!). So I'm sure the "affordable" SEO services will produce a lot of fruit!

Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch:

Hi,

I am Sophia **** [Sr. Manager – Search Engine Optimization]

Your website is the first impression of your business. I work in the Search Engine Optimization field.

As you know Google is continuously updating its algorithm in regard with TOP 10 rankings for websites in different niches. We can help you to get your website on first page of Google Search for specific keywords.

Our Expertise:

- 5+ Years of Experience in SEO, SMO and Web Development Experience. - Obtained top rankings and increased web traffic for 1000+ clients. - Encouraging customer reviews and feedback.

Why choose Us:

-  100% white hat techniques -  Higher acceptance ratios -  Result Oriented Approach

Our SEO Process Includes:

On-Page Optimization -  Meta Tag Optimization, Content Optimization, Images & Anchor Tag Optimization, Optimizing Site structure and Navigation, Robots.txt, Sitemap, ROR  Files

Off-Site Optimization - Search Engine Submissions, Directory Submissions, and Keyword oriented Article Submissions, Press Release Submission, Web 2.O Link building from Squidoo and Hubpages, Classified Ads Submissions.

Social Media Optimization (Promotion) Includes – Blogging, Forum Listing, Social Media Submission, Social Book marking, Newspaper Article with Link,

Business Branding Includes -  Business/Product Listing, Business Profile Creation, Video/Presentation Promotion, Content and Document distribution.

We also offer Online Reputation Management services.

Please let me know if you are willing to discuss a possible Search engine Optimization of your website. I can send you more details on our SEO packages/action/Portfolio/past work details.

Looking forward to your reply.

Kinds Regards, Sophia **** [Sr. Manager – Search Engine Optimization] Delhi-NCR (INDIA)

Image courtesy of Leo Reynolds on Flickr.

[badseopitches]

We're an Ethical SEO Group. No, Really We Are!

You know what's great? Getting an unsolicited SEO pitch from someone that "was surfing your website" and wanted to point out a few problems. Case in point: today's bad SEO pitch from "Sandy." Sandy says his/her company found that our site wasn't raking for any of the keywords pertaining to our domain. And of course, like any good service provider, Sandy made sure to note that his/her company engages in "ethical SEO." I'm sure you guys are, Sandy. I'm sure you are. Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch:

Hi, I am Sandy as a SEO Expert from **********.com - Its a Web based Company. I was surfing through your website and realized that despite having a good design; it was not ranking on any of the search engines for most of the keywords pertaining to your domain. I was wondering if you would be interested in getting the SEO done for your website. Ethical SEO -> Better Traffic -> Higher Sales Having helped websites in your domain, we are sure we can replicate our success with you too. In case you require any additional information, it shall be our pleasure to furnish the same. So let me know if you would like me to mail you more details. We'll be pleased to serve you. I look forward to your response. Feel free to contact us at ************@gmail.com Yours sincerely, Sandy SEO Expert

[badseopitches]

SEO Content Writing Team! Get Your SEO Content Writing Team Right Here!

No one would argue that content is a critical element to success in search engine optimization (SEO). But <assume best whiny voice> writing is so hard. It's really, really hard. And it costs to much to hire people to write the content I need! /<end whiny voice>

Well, friend. Like a superhero you didn't even know existed, enter the Content Writing Team! Today's bad SEO pitch comes to us courtesy of Benjamin. Benny lets us know that he's "assembled a team of excellent, native-English speaking writers." And his team is ready to work for you. And the best part: you guessed it: super low prices! 

Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch ...

Dear SEO Team,

I am contacting you to offer my services at an SEO Content Writer. I have assembled a team of excellent, native-English speaking writers ready to handle all your content needs.

The Benefits of a Writing Team: With a team of writers, we can take on larger content orders and deliver your content faster. You also gain the peace of mind in knowing all the content from us has been edited at least twice before delivery.

A Major Benefit For You: My rates are set in a way that allows you to mark them up and act as the middleman between me and your clients.  You can profit by providing your clients with another service they need.

Rates 

$0.05 per word for orders up to 1,500 words

$0.04 per word for orders up to 5,000 words

$0.03 per word for orders of 5,000 words or more

I will also offer the $0.03 per word rate for any clients providing regular, weekly work.

Contact: I can be reached via email (Benjamin@***************).  I look forward to establishing a long-lasting relationship with you and I am available to start immediately.

Sincerely,

Benjamin ******* SEO Content Provider

Photo courtesy of djwudi on Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/djwudi/

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A Private Label SEO Partnership? What Could Be Better?!?

As the old saying goes, if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. Of course, today's bad SEO pitch really doesn't even sound like a good deal. But things start to get a little crazy when you toss in the magical word: partnership!

Case in point, Raj of India reached out to us to let us know that they are ready and willing to partner with us! (awesome! made my day!). And, to show us how good they are, they even share with us five of the keywords their company ranks in the top 5 for! Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch:

Hi,

We are an ISO 9001:2008 SEO company in India. We are providing Pocket-Friendly SEO reseller services. Our 5 keywords SEO package starts @ 99 bucks. We ourselves rank in top 5 of Google for the following keywords:

SEO India SEO in India Link Building India Guest Blogging India

And many more…

Please feel free to write to me if you have any questions or need further information. Look forward to your quick response.

Thanks & Regards

Raj *****

[badseopitches]

You Got Our Email, Right?

Here's a nice little ploy: send an email to someone asking if they got your previous email peddling your analysis services. You know, the email you never sent! Case in point, today's bad SEO pitch via Banita. Banita claims she sent an email on one date (even cleverly appends the previous email to her current message) and is not following up since we didn't respond to her offer. But fear not. She still has the same great offer available. And, you guessed it, she will get the site onto the 1st page of Google! (kind of feel like we've heard that one before). 

Here's the full version of the bad SEO pitch from Banita:

Hi,

I hope business is keeping you busy!

I Just want to confirm that did you get my last mail or not.

Haven't heard back from you, just wondering are you interested in our services?

Let me know if you are interested and I would be happy to share more details about our current Projects, clients Testimonials, Methodology and Packages.

I'm looking forward to your views          

Kind Regards

Banita T*****

From: Banita T***** 

Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 7:09 PM To: ****@*********.*** Subject: 1st Page Keyword Ranking on Google

Hey guys I hope you're well.

My name is Banita, and I was doing some research on some of your competitors when I came across your site www.**********.***

Looks like you have a solid brand and a well established company.  I ran an analysis on your site using one of our software and I have found some areas and simple coding issues that are harming your search rankings.

Would you be interested in free initial analysis report and keywords suggestion list with Google page 1 projection ? I am more than happy to send it to you (free of charge of course) all I want is the opportunity to discuss how I could help improve the profitability and search traffic to your site?

Are you free this week to discuss?

Kind Regards, 

Banita T*****

[badseopitches]

Top Rankings on Google!

I'm fairly certain that if the nuclear bombs ever hit, the only things that will be left are cockroaches and bad SEO providers with a claim that they can get you on the first page of Google results (ok, so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but it sure seems that way!).

Today's bad SEO pitch comes to us courtesy of Linda, who claims that she can fairly quickly promote our website to the top of the search rankings. And she can do it all without a long term contract! (Side note: please, please know that SEO is not a one-time, overnight activity. It takes time to produce & sustain results, something Linda clearly doesn't want you to invest in. *stepping off soapbox now*).

Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch:

Hi Administrator,

We can fairly quickly promote your website to the top of the search rankings with no long term contracts!

Our SEO Processes are designed in view of the Google SEO guidelines, and white hat SEO techniques are strictly followed to ensure that our clients from world over get the best SEO services.

Let us know if you would like to increase sales.

We are sending this message to the address: ****@********.***.  Please let us know if this is incorrect.

Thanks and Regard

Linda ******* SEO Consultant

PS: In case you are not interested in opting for any of our services, just inform me and no emails will be sent to you in Future.

[badseopitches]

SEO Desperation Redux

A few days ago, we shared a bad SEO pitch called "SEO Desperation." Well, apparently it is working so well for Vishnu that Manoj decided to get in on the act. I guess imitation is still the sincerest form of flattery, right? Here's today's bad SEO pitch ... SEO desperation part 2...

HI Sir/Madam Can you outsource some SEO business to us? We will work according to you and your clients and for a long term relationship we can start our SEO services in only $99 per month per website. Looking forward for your positive reply Thanks & regards manoj

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Hey ... We're a "Reputable" Digital Marketing Company!

Ahh, its Thursday, July 3. So, it's kind of like a Friday since most of the US will be enjoying the July 4th holiday tomorrow to celebrate our nation's independence. But I'm glad to know that the "reputable" digital marketing companies will still be hard at work with their fantastic SEO services! Case in point, our friend Katy whose business is so reputable that they can't even include the name of it in their email signature! Kind of makes you want to celebrate freedom from bad SEO pitches! But where's the fun in that? Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch:

Hi,

Hope you are well. I am Marketing Manager with a reputable Digital Marketing company.

We promote businesses through Online Marketing which includes Search Engine Optimization and Social Media Marketing.

We follow all white hats, ethical and proprietary techniques to get your website on the top ranking on major search engines like Google so the website can get maximum visitors from search engines and help to improve a brand value on Social media Platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn etc.

Please Let me know if you are looking something like SEO and SMO to grow your business.

I look forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Katy Marketing Manager Online Sales Department Email:[email protected]

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But It's Only $99 per Month!

If I've seen this opening once, I've seen it a thousand times. It's a classic play: let me expose you to a gap (i.e. you're in deep trouble) and then let you know exactly how I can repair the problem. Of course, the "problem" here is that they haven't really scanned the site, nor do they have a specific plan on how to improve the organic search position. But, for the low, low cost of $99 per month, you can get six (count'em, 6!) whole keywords. Someone might want to introduce these guys to Panda. Enjoy today's bad SEO pitch:

Hello,

I am an SEO expert from a very large Indian SEO Company and I have analyzed that your website does not has search engine friendly nature and its current ranking status very low on different search engines (Google/Yahoo/Bing). As you know that top position of Google is the key of success, I would like to share with you that we have well experienced experts in our SEO teams and we all are well updated with White, Black and ray hat techniques.

Our SEO packages are totally content based and have drawn according to Google guidelines.  Our services are very affordable and services quality is very high, below I have mentioned the some SEO package details.

• Package 01, its monthly cost is 99 USDand keyword capacity is 6. • Package 02, its monthly cost is 150 USD and keywords capacity is 10. • Package 03, its monthly cost is 199 USD and keywords capacity is 25. • Package 04, its monthly cost is 299 USD and keywords capacity is 50.

   We would perform these below mentioned activities on our SEO campaigns.

*Manual Relevant Directory Back-links each month. *Social bookmarks each month. *Blog submissions each month. *Blog Creation and Updating on regular basis. *Classified ad Creation and Posting per month *Forum posting per month *RSS Feed Submissions per month *Press release writing per month. *Press Release submissions per month *Articles writing per month. *Article submissions per month *Create Blogspot and Word press account. *Submission of Website URL *Submission of Video URL’s *Twitter account setup and link submissions *Followers per month on the twitter *Facebook page creation and content posting *Content writing for Blog *Submission of blog posts to other Blog hosting sites *RSS feed generation and updated *Xml site map generated and updated *Onsite Optimization (Keyword generation, metatag creation, alt image tags, headings * Many more…….

Kindly select any one package from among as per your keywords requirements and just mail back us we would start the campaign immediately.

I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Thanks,

Aashi Sh****

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PLEASE call us! Pretty please?

There are bad SEO pitches and then there are those that wreak of desperation. Here's one for the desperation file:

Hi,

Please Call us for the following IT / ITES  Services :-

 - Search Engine Optimization ( SEO ) - Pay per click management ( PPC ) - Social Media Management ( SMM ) - Social Media Optimization ( SMO )

Other development service - Resposive website conversion - Website design   -Word press development -Upgrades/Migrations -Query Optimization -Deployments (Cloud, On Premise, Hybrid, Linux, PHP) -PHP Development ( joomla, wordpress, magento, drupal and other open sources ) -PHP MVC Development - PSD To HTML Conversion

Please reply me at : aaliya*******@gmail.com

Just give us a call +91 931******* +91 11******** Skype : ra****** , Gtalk/hangout :- ra*****

Regards,

Aaliya ***** Marketing Manager ( IT Cell ) , Delhi ( India )

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Short and Sweet

Today's Bad SEO Pitch is really short. In fact, it is so short, you may not even notice it until you've already deleted it (it's true: almost happened to me!). But the good news, I'm sure this is a really good opportunity! Enjoy today's Bad SEO Pitch:

My name is Kong Hui from Hong Kong, I want you to be my partner in a business project. If Interested Contact me back via my email address. Thank you, Mr. Kong Hui.