I’ll Say Things You Might Not Want To Hear

Ask me for a reasonable take on all things Swift, from a Gen Xer. I’m not a Swiftie, Gaylor, Kaylor, Swiftgron, Toe, Tayvis or anything else. I am a fan. I’m agnostic, for the most part. I think there are a lot of plausible answers for some of the stuff that vexes the fandom, and I don’t adhere to ideology on any of it. So, if you want a balanced, honest opinion, ask away. I’ll do my best. (And I can be persuaded! New information can and should change your mind sometimes.)

[balancedgrasshopper]

Wow you’re really investing a lot of time in telling people how wrong they are and that they need to stop doing one thing or another. Have a lot of fun with that!

(But have you heard of this really cool thing called going outside, meeting people, having a life? It’s supposed to be real good for you 😉)

I’m barely on here and you’re free to scroll past anything you see. Blocking content you don’t like is an option, as well.

[balancedgrasshopper]

This is really funny to me.

It's an answer you give when you don't want to give an answer. She's either heard it and didn't want to say what her favorite was, heard it and didn't like it, or, my guess, she hasn't listened to it at all.

You guys, she's dodging here. She wants distance from the swift lore. I don't blame her.

[balancedgrasshopper]

Random thoughts

More pics with the Mahomes. Instant cooling of my appreciation for her. I will never think it's ok to cuddle up to an SA apologist. Vile.

This is also why I think whatever is going on with TK is real. Only love makes you do that level of dumb shit.

On another note, I'm so very sick to death of the speculation. It's exhausting, and everyone sounds insane, and you aren't ever right. Or if you are, you threw so much junk out there that something was bound to stick eventually. All the theorists, gay and straight, make this fandom deeply unfun (for me). You're wrong. You're like fortune tellers or those people who contact the dead. You say so much shit that sooner or later of course you'll get something right.

The people who think they are breaking up anytime soon REALLY need to get their heads checked. In your bubble, this has all been terrible. In the gen pop and to most of the fandom, this has been amazing and to her, it's been pure profit. And probably she loves him. Sorry. I hate it. I think it's all vile. But here we are. A year in. No signs of going away. The mashups aren't signaling anything in her personal life; you need to give that up. They are lyrics and stories and chords and notes that go well together, and she knows what will keep people talking. That's it. She's not telling you a breakup is incoming every time she plays getaway car. She's just not. And she's not tying everything back to Red, so show that Diana was the muse and still matters. You all think you're right, you know what she's really doing and saying. You don't. You're proven wrong over and over and over again.

Edit: Everyone saying she's using that fuckass filter on the mahomes pics because she's working. Um. Ok? She's been using that filter for a million years and not every time is when she's working. Just stop.

[balancedgrasshopper]

On the nose and those mashups

Ok, gaylors. I'll give you this one. The Reddit request + 7-second self-nose boop is pretty interesting and hard to ignore. I'm not writing it off because there was an edit. We've seen enough about that to think nothing sus happened there. Are the two things connected? Who knows. But I, like a crazy person, went back and looked at A LOT of CP applause videos and saw nothing even close to that from other shows. (I'm actually not crazy I just like facts.)

Can we talk about the mashups, though? I knew late stagers were going to lose it. I knew who they would think those songs were for, especially given it was the day before his bday. But for FUCKS SAKES, can you leave the kids out of it? Can you not pull pictures off KK's Instagram and comment about those songs being about KK and TS's alleged children?? I don't care if people want to lsk. Everyone has their theories, I even used to be able to buy into this one until KK had kids. Then, it just became too difficult to explain. There are too many things you have to ignore or twist to make it make sense, and I just don't roll like that. The fact that Taylor was zooked out at a weed party the night the kid was born, and you try to explain it away by saying KK changed the bday dates to cover things up? At what point does this just all become too crazy for everyone?

Where are the sane people in this fandom? Everyone has lost their marbles.

Edit/Update: She posted "firsts" in her IG post, and now you're all losing it again. You guys, I love you but please be serious. Karlie's kids are not Taylor's.

[taylornation]

We love you, it’s ruining our life

[balancedgrasshopper]

Well well well…

[balancedgrasshopper]

Gaylor update

OK so I had to step away from writing here for awhile but I have been following along here and on other platforms.

I want to address gaylors. And I'm saying this with love and respect and truly, I think she's probably bi. So I'm not denying she's a girl kisser. I'm a big ol lez, so yeah, that is my filter here.

Some of you, A LOT OF YOU, are truly on another planet with it all. It's relentless. You have theories that make no sense. You're constantly trying to prove she's what, a liar? A gay liar?

If you think Travis is a beard, you must think she has something to hide. So I have to ask, why the fuck are you trying to out her??

And don't give me the, "we're just analyzing lyrics through a queer lens" bullshit. No you are not. You are using that "analysis" to prove she's queer. Yes, you are. I have yet to see ANY of you look at her lyrics and say, "huh, that sounds kind of gay to me, here's how that relates to my own life." You don't. You use it to try to prove she's queer. You have absolutely bizarre theories about living out music videos, a mass coming out, every color she wears is flagging, Travis looks miserable, they're never together (until you see the photos and then you say they were all staged pap photos, so there's no winning there), it's all performance art (don't you see she brought him on stage to prove he's forcing her into performing!)....what??

Taylor mutherfucken Swift is not getting on stage in front of 80k people every night and flagging her queerness to a small corner of her fandom through color choices. Be for real. That is not happening.

You've taken queer history and mapped it to her to fit your narratives, that's all.

She's not telling some epic sweeping tale of being closeted her whole life and burning down the lover house and ghosting a prince and being pushed off a balcony or whatever. You're acting like only you know how to listen to her music and everyone else is an idiot. I got sad news for ya on that one...

If you think Travis is fake, it's all for show, then logically she has something she's hiding. So why are you hellbent on exposing her? And don't give me that "you can't out someone you don't know" bullshit. Of course you can. If you know so much about queer history you would know that to be true. Who started that that line? An asshole, that's who.

Maybe just maybe, he's real. And she's happy. Whatever you think of him, and I cannot stand that guy or the NFL, maybe she's happy. Don't you want that for her?

Real or not, not only will none of us ever know, it doesn't matter. This is the part of her life she wants people to see, whatever her reasons are. Let it go. Why do you care about her love life?

You are so closely tied to your own identities that you are projecting them onto a billionaire pop star you will never ever know.

I say this will love. I do. Move. On. There is no Taylor Swift queer puzzle to solve. It's rude, if nothing else. If her lyrics mean something to your life, great, talk about that. Leave her personal life out of it.

If you think she's queer, cool. Move on. So what if she is or isn't. It's fine to think she is. It's not fine to do whatever the fuck you all are doing now.

Aren't you exhausted from this?

P.S. I think she's never directly addressed it because it's no one's fucking business. And the second she does that, she'll get pressured to speak on other things she really doesn't give a shit about.

[balancedgrasshopper]

The Mahomes of it all

Let's start with with:

She's not coming out. It's reasonable to believe she had some situations with women in the past; maybe she's bi, but she is not really into women as she is men. I think that's clear now. Does bearding exist? Yes. Could she have had beards? Sure. But we are where we are and Travis is real.

That was to dispel any notion that I'm just saying what I'm about to say because she's dating a guy. It's not. I don't care. Love is love and all that.

Do I like that she's dating a football player? No. Here's why: I hate the NFL. It's a violent sport. It's full of racism, homophobia and misogyny. The incident rate of domestic violence and sexual assault committed by players is as staggering as it is disgusting. Travis seems like one of the less horrible men in the least (low bar), but he, too, has a history of violence, saying gross things about women (breeder) and say what you want about his past tweets, but I personally think they are gross and I don't believe he's evolved much past them.

It's also not my relationship so if she's happy and he treats her well, cool.

But the Mahomes shit.

Embracing Brittany Mahomes as a new bestie is too much for me. She literally told people to "just shut up" after people started, rightfully, talking about Jackson Mahomes, her BIL, SAing someone. And it was caught on camera. There are many reports of her being an off-putting person, at best, but her telling people to shut up about SA is beyond the pale, even if it's a family member. There were ways to address it if she felt she had to, that could not have been awful, but she went the awful route.

Further, Taylor has been photographed multiple times celebrating with Jackson Mahomes. It's unconscionable.

His case mostly got dismissed. That doesn't absolve him. We know most SA cases never make it to court or trial. The woman he assaulted was harrassed and lost business. There is still one charge against him. IT WAS CAUGHT ON CAMERA.

Taylor, you were literally on the cover of Time Magazine as one of the faces of the MeToo movement. You talked about not being believed and if it could happen to you it could happen to any woman. Proximity to you is cleaning up their images. You can see it online how Swifties are defending both of them now because of you.

What the fuck are you thinking/doing right now? You do not have to hang out with anyone other than your bf. Your bf's bestie's wife and bro do not have to be in your circle. You are choosing that. My BIL and SIL went full qanon, I haven't hang out with them since. It's actually easy. My morals require it and I make choices accordingly.

Do better. No one expects you to be perfect. Every one of your fans wants you to be happy. This aspect of what you're doing now? As baffling as it is disgusting.

[balancedgrasshopper]

People who have "the tea"

No they don't.

They just don't. If they had anything real, they'd be under NDA. I've seen/heard podcasters, bloggers, TikTokers, rando messages sent to Tumblr accounts, and people on X all say they have credible tea. And they all contradict each other on every topic.

Just know that. Anyone claiming to know anything about a celebrity doesn't. It's all gossip and opinion. If you want to take it in, just know you're only putting it within context of a bunch of other bullshit you heard and forming yet another opinion out there.

Look, we all do it to some degree. But I've seen at least a few accounts I used to think we're pretty balanced and clear about it all being opinion go in hard on "tea" and they, too, are full of shit.

Really think about that next time you hear something about Taylor Swift. Between whatever is being fed to the tabloids and content creators who gained some followers, you are not getting whatever is really going on. You just aren't.

I don't care what Swift says about being more public, you think some random person with a podcast or blind item TT account actually knows her life at all?? We see only what she wants you to see and you're making assumptions about that, too.

And as soon as I see one of these accounts scream about "omg you guys learn about media literacy!!!!!" I'm 100% sure they have no idea what they are talking about.

Critical thinking is lost skill, isn't it.

[balancedgrasshopper]

Stray thought

I really hope this doesn't change how Taylor creates her art. I love it as it is. I love that all kinds of people can see themselves in it. I know she has changed things because of fans (yer, gay, ATW 10 min version and taking out the spelling is fun line, which I thought was so corny and adorable and fun and cute, I wish she left it in), and I just don't think artists should be compelled to do that. I get if something is genuinely harmful and they believe it's not worth it (like Lizzo changing *that* line or even the scale bit in Anti-hero mv though I'm on the fence on that one), but if she changes her complex, layered, and often ambiguous wording so no one gets the "wrong" idea, man, we all fucking lost. And mostly her.

Taylor, babe, normal people don't give a shit about your orientation. Normal people just hope you're safe and happy and healthy. Normal people want you to be you, whatever that is.

Keep on keepin' on.

[balancedgrasshopper]

Chely Wright weighs in

She's an amazing woman, btw. Read her book.

And she's right; we do need a hero. We do need someone uncancelable. Too big to fail. But publicly suggesting that was Taylor Swift and she wasn't successful at it or the public just didn't get crossed the line

I'm an older Gen X gay, we don't do shit like that.

[whatiwillsay]

how have we gone from why be mad when you could be glaad to this lol.

i blame the wags

[balancedgrasshopper]

CNN, revisited

I’m seeing a lot of, “the associate can be anyone who’s ever talked to her! it’s not Tree she doesn’t operate like that or go to CNN!”

So what. Stop being delusional.

Tree absolutely operates in the shadows all day every day. You think the only time something comes from her or is sanctioned by her is if she tweets it or it’s in People? That would be a very easy job, wouldn’t it. What are some of you on??

The very shitty, very homophobic CNN response came from Taylor’s camp.

Let’s say the associate isn’t closely tied to them and Tree didn’t know about their comments. What they said was actually not just homophobic, they were factually incorrect about a few things. Is Tree getting on Twitter shutting it down? Is she telling People mag to run a story saying calling Taylor gay isn’t that serious, she’s fine, move on?

No.

Unless and until she does, the only reasonable conclusion is it either came from or was approved by her and Taylor or it wasn’t but they’re ok with it and not shutting it down.

Do you feel good about either of those scenarios? Are you entertained?

Reminder: I’m not a Gaylor. I love her music, I think she’s alternately adorable and hot af. I also think she’s fully in a heterosexual era, regardless of all the previous seemingly obvious gay shit.

[balancedgrasshopper]

Yes, there are two paths you can go by...

Or three, really. And they are all degrees of terrible for gaylors.

She comes out unequivocally as straight. And gaylors will be mocked, bullied, harassed, and threatened forever for being wrong (and for not stopping their speculation because they will not stop, that ship has sailed.)

She comes out unequivocally as queer (lesbian, bi, pan, etc). And gaylors will be mocked, bullied, harassed, and threatened forever for forcing her out of the closet.

Nothing changes; she doesn't address it directly herself. And gaylors will still be mocked, bullied, harassed, and threatened forever for existing.

No one deserves any of the shit they are getting for seeing and talking about queer themes in her work. Ever. Once art is out for consumption, it's everyone's to internalize as is meaningful to them. They have the right to talk about it. Seeing art through different lenses makes it more alive and interesting, to me anyway. And I don't care what anyone says, intentionally or not, there are obvious things in her art that can reasonably and easily be interpreted through a queer lens. Deal with it.

Lines have been crossed on all sides of this. Whether you posted publicly about her retiring, moving to KC and cranking out babies and then posted AI photos of babies or you said the football guy likes it in his tight end and she's banging zoe kravitz, everyone needs to get a grip. The problem here is that only one side is getting put in the woodchipper and it's not the retire, move to KC and have babies crowd.

I've always heard Swifties are the nicest fandom ever and frankly, I don't see it. I've seen some of the meanest, most homophobic, sexist and downright disgusting stuff come from this fandom. And now it's gone on for so long and it's so far off the rails, there's no way for her to land the plane and stop it all, no one getting hurt.

Rough week. I wish that NYT piece never got published. It was good for no one.

But I'm going to follow this up with, what does an artist really owe us...

[balancedgrasshopper]

What if…

A lot of Gaylors have been theorizing she’s living out, I don’t know, Bejeweled mv, Lavender Haze mv, all of Midnights…whatever. And the Lover house is going to be burned down and she will live her authentic life, be her true self, finally. And, because Gaylors, she’ll come out and live openly with her female partner.

Dear reader: what if, and it pains me a bit to write this, but what if she’s already burned the house down and her true authentic self is Midwest/country Christian conservative heterosexual woman?

Look, I think she is probably genuinely all the wonderful things people say about her. So this isn’t a judgement. But it’s time to look at it all and think, ya know, maybe this is just who she is. Not the boy crazy loon she was made out to be, but the amazing woman who always seems to have bad taste in men, loves the baby jesus, leans conservative. The company she’s keeping lately shows us she’s more than ok with folks like that.

Gaylor is dead, friends. Even if she is, she’s never coming out. Travis isn’t some elaborate performance art designed to burn her current life down so she can be openly gay at the end of the tour.

Personally, it would delight me to no end for her to have a great gf behind the scenes, whether we know about it or not. But the company she’s keeping lately? It just defies logic that she’d be with them if it wasn’t real. I think it is, to her anyway. I think he’s a clout chasing jabroni who doesn’t deserve her, but because I’ve been friends with wonderful women who date gross guys, I will stand by and support regardless. For now.

Anyway, just a thought. This is already her living authentically. Maybe. Who knows.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?

[balancedgrasshopper]

I said this the other day. She's in her WAG Era, and everything we're seeing points directly to that. Good, bad, or otherwise, this is where we are.

[balancedgrasshopper]

Homophobia in the Lover House?

So, we don't know who the associate talking to CNN is, but they actually talked about this shit ON AIR. In the year of our lawd 2024, this made it to air on CNN.

Either way you look at it, it's problematic that someone in her camp said what they said. Are they homophobic? Because why would anyone secure in their sexuality care about being called gay? That would indicate she's gay and hiding, and her cover was blown in a big way, or they think gay is terrible, and how dare anyone call her that.

Whew. I hate all of this.

[balancedgrasshopper]

CNN

Edit: Rereading this, would Tree body slam Mendes like that? I hope not. But this is a respected actual journalist; it's not an opinion piece. They spoke to people in her camp. Where in the camp, we don't know.

I take issue with this: “This article wouldn’t have been allowed to be written about Shawn Mendes or any male artist whose sexuality has been questioned by fans.”

That's just blatantly false. I mean, Shawn Mendes, Harry Styles, recently. The author of the NYT piece wrote a similar one on Harry in 2022. Elton, George Michael, Freddie. Bowie. Boy George. Plenty of ink has been spilled on are they or aren't they for male pop stars. And movie stars. I think so much of all this discourse on all sides is just very young people who have no interest in looking at the history of gay flagging, outting, speculating. It's all been done before.

Taylor isn't going to crumble if people think she's gay. Clearly. Because many people think she is and she's richer and more famous than ever. She can flat out say, "I'm flattered, and please do go on seeing your gorgeous selves in my art, but I'm straight." She actually hasn't yet. And there can be countless reasons why. I don't think anyone is owed that, and I'm not expecting a declaration one way or another.

It's all so weird. Just...we all need to touch grass.

________________________________________________

Her camp responds, and it’s bad for Gaylors.

Of course they responded. I said just because Tree didn’t hop on X immediately to say something directly doesn’t mean it’s not coming.

Here it is.

Taylor Swift’s associates dismayed by New York Times piece speculating on her sexuality: ‘Invasive, untrue and inappropriate’ | CNN Business

A controversial New York Times opinion piece that openly speculated this week whether Taylor Swift is a closeted queer person has drawn the

https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/06/business/taylor-swift-new-york-times?cid=ios_app Taylor Swift’s associates dismayed by New York Times piece speculating on her sexuality: ‘Invasive, untrue and inappropriate’

[balancedgrasshopper]

UPROXX: "Can We As A Culture Resolve To Be More Normal About Taylor Swift In 2024?"

FINALLY. This needed to be said and needs to be said over and over and over. It's not just her fans; the media has fed it all. I honestly felt like I was high reading the Time mag POY piece. Zero critical thinking. Zero depth. Zero analysis. Absolutely zero pushback. Tree could have written it. It is a journalistic failure.

And her fans, well, I'm on record here saying all corners are off the rails. Have I contributed? Probably. Just by writing anything here, I am adding to the deluge of meaningless discourse on her.

I hope that some folks will find this and take the time to read and find some balance in their own contributions to the fandom. I've pumped the brakes on so many things I've wanted to say and I'm glad I did. We don't all need to have a reaction or opinion on absolutely every breath she takes.

She's a human who is not above critique but also one who deserves to not be ripped apart and constantly speculated about.

Check yourselves, will ya?

Can We Resolve To Be More Normal About Taylor Swift In 2024?

We lost our minds over the world’s biggest pop star last year. Maybe it’s time for a little perspective.