Getting your mind right.

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Who Am I Now?

One of the conversations I have most often with people who are facing a life-changing diagnosis, those who are battling illness, and those who have overcome these illness is the “Who Am I Now?” conversation. As humans, we tend to be involved in a constant dialogue with ourselves, trying to figure out how we fit in to our social groups and in to our environments. When we find ourselves dealing with an illness, our idea of who we are can get turned upside down.

The first Sunday in June is National Cancer Survivors Day and it is a day that is spent celebrating the fact that more people than ever can say they are cancer survivors. The National Cancer Survivors Day website reports that 14.5 million Americans are alive today, following a cancer diagnosis. This means that there are 14.5 million people asking themselves “Who Am I Now?” in the context of a disease that exacts a physical, emotional, and financial toll like few other human experiences.

I often have the “Who Am I Now?” conversation with people following successful treatment when there are feelings of joy, guilt, and terror living in the same person. Joy at having triumphed over the illness, guilt that the price paid was so high (both financially and emotionally, both by the individual and their loved ones), and terror that the cancer will come back and the roller coaster will begin all over again. I am sharing this with you because if you are going through this now, it is so important to me that you know that these emotions are normal. And that there is support. You are not alone. You get to answer “Who Am I Now?” in the manner of your choosing.

Whether you were diagnosed yesterday or you beat cancer 20 years ago, celebrate National Cancer Survivors Day on Sunday. Give yourself permission to cry, or laugh, or scream, or dance around your living room. Maybe all these things at the same time. Because you get to choose who you are, every day.

balancedwellnesscenter.com

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Who Am I Now? One of the conversations I have most often with people who are facing a life-changing diagnosis, those who are battling illness, and those who have overcome these illness is the “Who Am I Now?” conversation. As humans, we tend to be involved in a constant dialogue with ourselves, trying to figure out how we fit in to our social groups and in to our environments. When we find ourselves dealing with an illness, our idea of who we are can get turned upside down.

The first Sunday in June is National Cancer Survivors Day and it is a day that is spent celebrating the fact that more people than ever can say they are cancer survivors. The National Cancer Survivors Day website reports that 14.5 million Americans are alive today, following a cancer diagnosis. This means that there are 14.5 million people asking themselves “Who Am I Now?” in the context of a disease that exacts a physical, emotional, and financial toll like few other human experiences.

I often have the “Who Am I Now?” conversation with people following successful treatment when there are feelings of joy, guilt, and terror living in the same person. Joy at having triumphed over the illness, guilt that the price paid was so high (both financially and emotionally, both by the individual and their loved ones), and terror that the cancer will come back and the roller coaster will begin all over again. I am sharing this with you because if you are going through this now, it is so important to me that you know that these emotions are normal. And that there is support. You are not alone. You get to answer “Who Am I Now?” in the manner of your choosing.

Whether you were diagnosed yesterday or you beat cancer 20 years ago, celebrate National Cancer Survivors Day on Sunday. Give yourself permission to cry, or laugh, or scream, or dance around your living room. Maybe all these things at the same time. Because you get to choose who you are, every day.

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High Functioning But Struggling?

“I’m not depressed… I’m just fine! Look, I’m working/attending school/managing my household just fine! So what if I don’t enjoy [insert hobby here] like I used to….? Stop worrying over nothing.”

How many of us have shrugged off the concern of our families and friends, citing our high functioning as proof that we are “just fine”? If a loved one is worried enough to voice their concern, it is likely that we are not “just fine.” Many high functioning individuals will go to work, spend time with loved ones, pay the bills, and do routine household chores under the looming cloud of depression and pretend to be “just fine”. Others will white-knuckle their way through social events or mundane tasks as anxiety burns through their bodies and pretend to be “just fine.”

One thing that my experience as a psychologist has shown me is that people often delay asking for help, even if they know that they need the support. It may be because we have images that we want to uphold, or feel embarrassed that we aren’t able to manage our stressors. Sometimes, having a loved one share their worry can increase the sense of shame, knowing that others can tell that you’re struggling. But letting others support us through times of difficulty can be a sign of strength. If you are struggling to get out from underneath the cloud of depression or the crush of anxiety, or any other mental health concern, ask for help. You don’t have to wrestle with your concerns alone. The sooner you seek support, the sooner you can learn the skills you need so that you can stop pretending to be “just fine” and start feeling like yourself again!

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It’s Just a Little Stress… Right…?

You spend your day running around, putting out fires at work (literal or metaphorical), at lunch you eat whatever you threw together during the 10 minutes you allowed yourself away from your computer or phone, you race to pick up your kids before daycare closes, you throw together another meal, and you finally collapse after another exhausting day. So many of us ride this roller coaster day after day, week after week, and just chalk it up to normal life. Because, “everyone lives like this, right…?”

What you are not thinking about while you crash through your busy life is a little problem called Metabolic Syndrome. While you aren’t thinking about it, your chronic stress could be steadily increasing your risk for all kinds of things you don’t want: heart disease, diabetes, and stroke.

Wait. What…?

Yes, Metabolic Syndrome, which is a cluster of risk factors that includes high blood pressure, high triglycerides, and high fasting blood glucose, has been linked to chronic stress. The scenario I described above could be putting millions of us at risk. Research suggests that the more chronic stress you experience, the more likely you are to develop Metabolic Syndrome, which can lead to some of the most common health conditions we see in our community.

The good news is that we aren’t helpless. We, as adult humans, have a lot of control over what happens in our lives. It takes brainstorming, creativity, planning, and support, but we are totally capable of reducing excess stress in our lives. It might mean using the words “No”, “I would appreciate your help”, and “I can’t take that on right now”. It might mean doing less stuff and doing more self-care. It isn’t only quality of life we are talking about—it could literally be your life. And you have a life worth living- you might just need some adjustments. Some of the adjustments might be big and some might be subtle, but increased health and wellness is worth it. April being Stress Awareness Month, this month is the perfect opportunity to check in with yourself and decompress where possible. With help, you are absolutely capable of improving your well-being and I would be delighted to help you de-stress your way into a more peaceful, healthy life.

 Chandala, T.; Brunner, E.; Marmot, M. (2006) Chronic stress at work and the metabolic syndrome: prospective study. The BMJ, 332:521. doi:10.1136/bmj.38693.435301.80

Rosmond, R. (2005) Role of stress in the pathogenesis of the metabolic syndrome. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 1-10. doi:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2004.05.007

www.balancedwellnesscenter.com

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The Importance of Fueling Up

This week, I fell victim to a trap I set for myself. I know that one of my colleagues has fallen this week, as well. And I’m sure it’s happened to you, too. If not this week, then definitely at some point in your recent past.

I was rushing out the door, heading into a full day, when I realized I hadn’t packed a lunch for myself. I knew I was tumbling into a day with back to back appointments and meetings, but I was in a hurry, so I left my house thinking “Its okay, I’ll figure something out.”

I’m sure you all can guess what happened. Sometime at around 3 p.m. I was ready to admit that I’d made a mistake.  My day was booked for another several hours and my hunger cues transformed from polite requests to angry protests. When I finally found myself at dinner, I was famished and cranky—basically, not my best self.

Missing meals can lead to symptoms that many of us can probably remember experiencing on days that we haven’t adequately nourished ourselves: shakiness, fatigue, difficulties with attention and concentration, shifts in mood, irritability, nervousness, racing heartbeat. Any one of these symptoms is going to make is more challenging to meet the demands of your day.

March is National Nutrition Month. It is also a good time to review those New Year’s resolutions- especially the ones that included promoting healthy habits. We are very good at ignoring our basic needs for rest and nutrition at the expense of other demands, but the irony is that we are less productive, kind, and satisfied when we sacrifice our bodies’ basic needs.

As I think back on what I could have done differently the day I neglected to fuel myself, I know that planning ahead would have made the biggest difference. Next time I’m facing a busy day, I can set a reminder to pack a lunch the night before. I can also stock my office refrigerator for hectic days. With some problem-solving and small changes, we can come up with an alternative to being undernourished. I would be happy to help you trouble-shoot your way into better health. When we take care of our bodies, our minds have a clearer path to wellness. Let’s come up with solutions that work for you!

www.balancedwellnesscenter.com

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The Open is Opening!

You’ve registered for the Open! Congratulations! Whether you joined CrossFit last week or you’re a seasoned veteran, it’s an exciting time to be a CrossFit athlete. When we gather round the screen to watch the WOD announcements, we go through a variety of different thoughts and feelings: “Oh wow, that’s going to suck.” “I can do that this year!” “Yay!!! Those ______ are my favorite!” “Uggghhhh!!! I hate doing _____!” The feelings that follow us into the 3…2…1… countdown can range from solid confidence in our ability to crush this, to debilitating anxiety that makes it hard to get a good deep breath.

The difference between the athletes who will recruit every last shred of muscle and grit to complete these WODs has a lot to do with who has trained the hardest. And not just physically. There is another side to training that most of us neglect even more than we neglect our mobility training (I’m looking at you, athlete that skips post-WOD mobility…).

I’m talking about mental skills training. I’m talking about your ability to visualize your performance before you ever walk up to the bar, to use narrow, task-driven focus, to transform anxiety into excitement, to calm your body so it can do what it has been trained to do, and to put set-backs behind you so they don’t get in the way of the present task.

Visualization is the term used to describe mentally practicing for an upcoming challenge. It involves imagining, in as vivid detail as possible, what the challenge will be like. Mentally practicing the emotions and skills you’ll need to recruit to be successful can be hugely helpful: if you need to relax, imagine calming yourself; if you need to get pumped, imagine intensity. Imagine how you will cope with failed lifts and how you’ll pace yourself. Having a plan for best and worst case scenarios will boost your confidence.

Speaking of confidence, knowing that you have the skills to perform a task is just as important as physically having the skills. Being physically able to climb a rope is not going to get you up there if you’re too afraid to leave the ground. Confidence in your own strength and skill set increases positive emotions, makes concentration easier, increases effort, increases psychological momentum, and turns obstacles into goals. Confidence is developed by stock-piling evidence that we can overcome and succeed. Even if your progress is measured in baby steps, success breeds success. Reminding yourself how hard you’ve worked, that you’ve faced challenges before, and that you are a bad ass who won’t back down, can go a long way.

Your level of confidence has a huge influence on your self-talk. Self-talk refers to the running commentary we all have going in our heads every minute we are awake. Our self-talk can be encouraging: “You can handle this, you’re ready”; or it can be defeating: “Wow, you are really dying out here! No way you can catch up with her now…” Imagine if you had a crowd of people watching you do each Open workout. Do you want them shouting encouragement or booing and hissing every time you get no-repped? Most of us would chose the encouraging crowd but many of us yell internal negativity and then wonder why we got lapped. Most of us know who we would prefer to be our judges in competition settings: the coach who knows just what we need to hear when we’re struggling, the member whose enthusiasm never flags, the workout buddy who pushes you to perform your best. Identify what you like to hear from others when you’re performing, and then provide it for yourself!

All of these skills are in service of the same goal: preparing yourself to use all the physical strength and skills that you’ve been developing. When your mental skills and your physical skills are complementary, there is nothing keeping you from performing your best. Anxiety becomes excitement and fear becomes determination. When you train your mental skills like you train your lifts, nothing can hold you back.