[plague-vulture]

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

[heavensghost]

tell me to come back

[fuck-customers]

[important-dog-pics]

[achillesinhighheels]

[iwilleatyourenglish]

my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[polish-lolita]

[cityfawns]

Reset NYC

[voyagers-stone]

btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv "haha sorry ive never done this without help before... can you show me how to do this?" the employee will not care. if that means anything to you

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"

[autistobrat]

absolutely hate it when I wake up tired like what the fuck did I lie unconscious for

[april]

ⓘ Tip If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.

[wordfather]

collecting these

[wordfather]

HOW could i forget this classic

[stlamb]

[heart-eyes-express]

[pulsatory]

[awwww-cute]