b

she/her; artist and sometimes writer; formerly phrogs-blog and oldbaltimorebelle. Ao3: baltimorebelle

[dogpuppy]

I wish I could have heard you sing this… I bet you have a beautiful voice

[kasaneteto]

im getting really fucking sick of all this “it gets better!” bullshit. im going to have depression for the rest of my life. it’s not going to “””get better””” fuck you

[kasaneteto]

i have really great news guys, despite it all

[baltimore-belle]

learning python

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Life must be a rollercoaster for the D class. You live in a shitty prison cell for the remainder of your probably extremely short life. One day some security guards show up and take you to a big room where a scientist tells you to copy an image onto some paper. You do. The scientist shrugs and writes something down and you're taken back.

One day a scientist hands you a poptart and says "eat this". You say "is it full of some kind of fucked up interdimensional poison". The scientist says "eat it or that security guard will tase you and tie you down and make you eat it". You eat the poptart. It is not full of fucked up interdimensional poison, but it is kind of stale. You describe the taste to the scientist and he shrugs and writes something down and you go back to your shitty cell.

One day a security guard takes you to a big room and there's a flute sitting on a table. A scientist tells you "play Hot Cross Buns on that". You explain that you do not know how to play the flute. You are instructed to try. You play the flute and get immediately get dragged into some incomprehensible shadow dimension and torn to pieces for no reason that makes any sense to you. You are very lucky to have survived so long and died so quickly.

[yuniper]

my specialty is liking the same movies that 50-year-old dads like but in a way that would instantly send those dads into cardiac arrest if they heard me talk about them

[rederiswrites]

Just watched Adam Conover (of Adam Ruins Everything) make such a solid point that I think we should spread far and wide. Yes, having AI write your emails is lazy, sure, but people love being lazy. We need to really emphasize that sending AI emails (or using AI responses on social media, or publishing AI flyers, or or or) is rude.

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

It's rude.

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[danielwaldorf]

since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo

[sconesfortea]

RIP Anthony Stewart Head (1954 - 2026)

[stella-draws-things]

[no-more-dead-dogs]

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

[jiiin22]

the bravest human

[baltimore-belle]

on the wikipedia page for stellar mass loss. made me lol

[baltimore-belle]

me and my father off to interact with project hail mary fictional matter in Very Different Respects

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

“Robbie is gone! I’m still here! And I refuse to live in his shadow!”

Rastapopoulos himself may be out of the picture, but his ghost continues to haunt those who were caught in his web.

A collaboration with @aboardthescheherazade using her OC Marlene Katz - an actress Tintin tries to save in Cigars of the Pharaoh!

Five years later and Tintin is baffled to see Hollywood starlet Marlene Katz turn up at his doorstep asking for help. Formerly under the thumb of Cosmos Pictures, Marlene became an unsuspecting witness to Rastapopoulos’ criminal activity and now the mob is after her, seeking to tie up some loose ends. To top things off, she is due to make a public appearance at The Golden Palm, a prestigious film festival. After years of hiding, Marlene is determined to get her acting career back on track, and this film may be her big break.

Tintin is highly suspicious. Chang, on the other hand, is utterly star struck, and after noticing an uncanny resemblance between the two hatches a ridiculous scheme that may finally put an end to this particular problem. It might just work, but Marlene makes the last minute decision to also go undercover, feeling immense guilt over having Tintin and Chang risk their lives for her.

While Tintin is running around in heels and beating up mobsters Haddock is away on a weekend break with Ramo Nash. Before leaving he asked Chang to keep Tintin away from any incidents and to promise not to throw any house parties.

This was my first collab on this blog and I had a lot of fun bouncing ideas off with Vaye. Her blog was one of the first Tintin blogs I followed - definitely check it out, it’s an absolute treasure trove of resources and research! Below are a few notes of stuff we discussed while making this:

Keep reading

[baltimore-belle]

stop subscribing to my fic. you're making me too powerful. one click of a button and all you people remember i exist via your email inboxes. muahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!!!

[sailermoon]

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved