idk if u guys care buti had a dream anton and i were at this girls bday party n he was dating her ro something bc he then gave a speech? but half way thru broke into choreo but he like sucked..
pairing. hockey player ! james / f ! figure skater reader
info. strangers to situationship, morally grey characters on all sides, jealousy, emotional unavailability (both directions), soul tied bc of intimacy type thing, awful communication, fluff and angst
warnings. lowk recommend to be 16+ or so if u can't digest deeper themes, very suggestive themes (nothing explicit ofc), profanity, toxicity, possessiveness, kissing, arguing/banter, implied sneaky link intimacy
SYNOPSIS. you are on the perfect track to success and competing at the highest level of figure skating. james is seemingly on a similarly perfect track to playing in the NHL. there’s no reason to risk either of those things, so what’s the harm of a small fling? a small fling… that occurs almost every other night and includes a sprinkle bit too much of emotion that probably shouldn’t be there. you were both too committed, too closed off, too sharp at the edges for anything real to catch. four months in and you're still telling yourself that. you're both very good liars.
teaser wc. 2.6k
taglist. comment to be added for fic taglist & permanent taglist here
please specify which TL !
▸ feedback & reblogs are highly appreciated
LISTEN TO... stateside by zara larsson and pinkpantheress ... pushing it down and praying and ...what are we? by lizzy mcalpine ... devotion by dijon and justin bieber ... illicit affairs and cowboy like me by taylor swift ... back to friends and undressed by sombr ... bags by clairo ... purple rain by prince ... no. 1 party anthem by arctic monkeys ... robbers by the 1975
maddy's note. one could say this is the shortest teaser i ever dropped.... and they would be right!!! i miss you guys btw :(
thought i'd give u guys some crumbs before i go on this very much needed hiatus hahaha..........
The last thing you heard before the music swelled was the crowd going quiet.
It was not silence—never silent at nationals. Could never be with the arena packed to the upper sections and the overhead lights running so hot you could feel them on the back of your neck and cameras mounted at every angle like the whole world was watching through a lens. But there was a specific quality of quiet that happened right before a skater's final element. This collective inhale. Seventeen hundred people deciding, in the same half-second, that breathing could wait.
You'd been chasing that sound your whole life.
The Rachmaninoff built toward its peak and you felt it in your sternum before you heard it—that specific swell that had been the architecture of your free skate for eleven months, so embedded in your body now that you could reconstruct it from memory at 3 AM in a pitch-dark room. Your left foot hit the ice on the exact beat. Your body pulled into the combination spin before your brain consciously told it to.
Three rotations and then four. Your arms drew in tighter, speed climbing, and for a fraction of a second the rink and the crowd and the weight of what this score meant dissolved completely. There was just the ice and your body and the music and the precise geometric certainty of the one thing you'd been doing since you were four years old.
You came out clean. And the crowd broke open.
You moved into your final pose—arms extended, chin lifted, one leg drawn out behind you in the line your coach had spent three weeks perfecting—and held it through the last note. Held it until the music died. Held it until your own heartbeat was the loudest thing in the arena.
Then you let yourself breathe.
The sound hit you a half-second later, the way it always did after a program. Like your brain delayed the input until it knew you were done. Applause rolling through the venue in waves, people on their feet in the lower bowl, your name somewhere in there if you listened hard enough past the roar.
You lowered your arms. You smiled. Genuinely and not for the cameras, this smile that only showed up when you'd done exactly what you came to do. You pressed a hand to your chest, bowed once to the judges' panel, once to the far end, once toward the section where you knew your coach was standing even though you couldn't find her through the glare.
And then, because you couldn't help it—your eyes swept the upper sections.
You told yourself it was habit every time. You know, just the automatic scan you did after every program, grounding yourself in space before the adrenaline crashed. Normal. Completely normal. It had nothing to do with anything.
Your eyes found him before you were consciously looking.
Section C, four rows from the back, left side. He was standing against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest and his hood pulled up despite the heat of the arena. A little too tall to miss. Too still in a crowd of moving people, like he'd decided that the noise around him simply didn't affect him.
James. Zhao Yufan. Newly number four on the New Jersey Devils hockey program.
He was not cheering nor clapping. He was just watching you with that particular quality of attention he had. The one that evoked this feeling that felt like being studied, like you were a problem he was turning over slowly in his hands. His expression was unreadable from this distance. It always was, and you'd stopped pretending that didn't drive you insane.
You held eye contact for exactly one second. Maybe a few more milliseconds.
Then you looked away and skated toward the boards where your coach was already waiting, arms open, and you let the noise of the arena swallow the fact that your chest was doing something complicated that had absolutely nothing to do with the program you'd just landed.
He came.
You hadn't told him you wanted him to. You hadn't asked, wouldn't have asked—that wasn't what you and James were. You were absolutely not the kind of attachment where you asked for things and expected them to materialize.
You'd established that early. You'd both been very clear about it, or at least you'd both said the words that were supposed to make it clear, and then proceeded to behave in ways that made a complete mess of everything you'd said.
But he came anyway.
He was there with your coach's arms around your shoulders and the crowd still roaring and your score about to flash on the board, you found yourself thinking about the four months that had led to this exact moment.
About Mattamy at 11 PM and the vending machine on the B-level and an argument about ice time that was never really about ice time. About all the ways two people could sink so deep into something they couldn't name that they lost track of when they started sinking.
You thought about James Zhao, who'd come to your nationals and stood in section C and watched you like he had every right to be there.
And you thought about how badly you wished that didn't mean as much as it did.
ii. four months ago
—first blood
The thing about Mattamy Athletic Centre was that it never really closed. Almost like the city that never slept, if you wanted to compare it to something.
This was what they told you when your federation arranged the Toronto residency—that the rink ran on staggered schedules, that programs overlapped, that at any hour between 5 AM and midnight there was someone on that ice doing something. Figure skaters claimed the early mornings when the surface was fresh and the light through the upper windows was still gray and thin. Development programs ran afternoons. The later slots, the ones that bled past 9 PM and into hours that felt less like training and more like a personal problem, those belonged to whoever wanted them badly enough to show up.
You'd been showing up for three months before the hockey boys arrived.
The news filtered through the rink the way all rink news did—through the manager's assistant, who told the Zamboni operator, who told two of the junior skaters, who told Lia, who appeared in the doorway of the locker room one morning in October with her skate bag over one shoulder and her eyes lit up like she'd just heard something excellent.
"Five players," she announced, dropping onto the bench beside you. "Hockey. They're doing a joint training residency, something about the developmental league deferring for the season. Here through spring. All drafted, apparently. One of them top five picks in the last two years."
You looked up from retaping your blade. "What team?"
"That's the thing—they're not really a team. More like a training collective. All from different programs, all doing the same deferral for different reasons. They specifically requested a rink with high-level multi-sport programming because their coach thinks cross-training with elite athletes from other disciplines is good for them." She raised an eyebrow. "So... us."
"Great," you said, and went back to watching the tape.
Lia watched you for a second. "You're not even a little curious?"
"About hockey players?"
"About five elite athletes who are apparently very—"
"Lia."
"I'm just saying."
"I know what you're saying," you told her. "And I'm saying I have a short program that's thirty-seven points off where it needs to be before December and I don't have bandwidth for whatever you're implying."
She pressed her lips together in a way that wasn't quite a smile. "Okay. Sure."
You met these boys four days later, and not under circumstances that left any room for the kind of first impression you might have wanted.
It was 10:40 PM. You had the ice until 11 and you were using every minute of it—running your step sequence over and over, the section that kept falling apart in the back half, the transition your coach had flagged three sessions in a row. The rink was empty except for you and the overhead lights humming and the music playing through your earbuds, cut off from everything else.
You didn't hear them come in.
What you heard was the door to the ice slamming open instead of the soft hydraulic close it was supposed to make. It was a full crash, the sound of something hitting the boards on the far end. You pulled an earbud out. Voices... laughter? The distinctive sound of skate blades on rubber matting.
Five of them, spilling through the far entrance in various states of gear. One of them said something in another language, Korean maybe, that made two others lose it completely. Another one—tall, quiet, already scanning the rink with a calm, assessing look—noticed you almost immediately and nudged the one next to him.
You skated to center ice and waited.
The one who'd been laughing hardest stopped first when he saw you. Broad-shouldered with an easy smile. This boy had the kind of face that probably made things go smoothly for him in most situations. "Oh—hey. Sorry, we didn't realize—"
"You're not on until eleven," you said.
"Yeah, we know, we just—"
"It's ten forty-two."
A moment of silence. The easy smile flickered but it held. "We figured we'd come early and—"
"The ice schedule exists for a reason." You kept your voice flat, not hostile, just factual. "If everyone showed up whenever they felt like it, the surface would be garbage by the time the later sessions started. So the schedule exists. You're on at eleven."
From somewhere in the group, a voice cut through. "We'll wait."
You looked over.
He was standing slightly apart from the others, stick resting against his shoulder, helmet in his hand. He was not as immediately readable as the one with the easy smile—where that one had warmth built into his whole demeanor, this one had something more contained. He watched the exchange with dark eyes that gave away very little. He looked like someone who'd been running calculations since the moment he walked in.
"Okay," you hummed, though you wanted to say more.
"Okay," he echoed, and something in his tone made it very clear he wasn't agreeing with you so much as acknowledging that the conversation was over.
You put your earbud back in and returned to your step sequence.
For the next eighteen minutes you were aware of them the way you were aware of weather. Like something happening at the edges of your attention that you'd decided not to engage with directly. They settled in the first row of the lower bowl, some of them leaning over the boards to watch, some on their phones, one of them already half-asleep against the shoulder of the one next to him.
The one who'd said we'll wait with that gruffy yet smooth voice didn't sit down. He stood at the boards and watched you skate.
You knew because you could feel it. It was that particular weight of someone's attention when they were actually paying attention. It wasn't just the casual glancing of someone killing time but focused and specific. You'd performed under enough high-stakes scrutiny to know the difference.
At 11:01, you stepped off the ice without looking at any of them.
"Good session," the easy-smile one offered as you passed.
"Thanks," you said, not breaking your stride.
You heard the ice door open behind you as they filed out, the sound of blades, someone doing a warm-up lap with long, aggressive strokes that vibrated through the boards. And then, just before you pushed through to the corridor, that same quiet voice from earlier.
"You're dropping your left shoulder on the back end of the sequence."
You stopped and turned around slowly. Seriously?
He was already on the ice, ten feet from the boards, like he'd said it in passing and had no particular investment in whether you heard it. Was not at all looking at you now. Running a slow circle with his stick trailing behind him.
Every instinct told you to let it go.
"You skate hockey," you scoffed.
"Yeah."
"What would you know about my shoulder?"
He stopped the circle. He stared at you across the ice with an expression that was frustratingly calm. "I know that you ran that sequence nine times and it fell apart in the same place every time, and right before it fell apart your left shoulder dropped about two inches. Might be nothing. Might be why you keep losing the flow at the back end." A pause where those shoulders of his shrugged. "Like I said. Might be nothing."
You stared at him for a long moment. He held your gaze without any apparent discomfort, which annoyed you more than it should have.
"Thanks for the input," you said, and walked out.
In the locker room alone, you pulled up the video your coach had sent from that afternoon's session. Scrolled to the step sequence. You watched the back end three times.
Your left shoulder dropped two inches right before the transition fell apart. Fuck. You put your phone face-down on the bench and sat there for a minute.
Then you picked it up and added a note to your session log: left shoulder—check before back-end transition. You did not think about the hockey player who'd told you.
╰┈➤ someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around
ೃ࿐ gentleman!seonghyeon x princess!fem!reader, slowburn, angst, set in the gilded age in england, inspired by “the buccaneers”
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‧₊ ♪˚⊹ playlist : wildest dreams - taylor swift , iris- the goo goo dolls, pushing it down and praying - lizzy mcalpine, illicit affairs - taylor swift , if only - dove cameron, reflections - the neighbourhood, somebody else - the 1975, ghost - justin bieber, trying on shoes - tate mcrae, horseshoe - tate mcrae, aygoustos - danae, we hug now - sydney rose, i can see you - taylor swift, bleed- malcolm todd ft. omar apollo, bench sitter - sarah kays, the prophecy - taylor swift, purple rain - prince, last kiss - taylor swift, did you know there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd - lana del rey
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“Honey, you’ve spent your whole day, looking outside of the window, is there something in your mind?” Her mother approached her and stroked her freshly cut hair — after much quarrel with her father to let her do so. “He’s late. He never is.” Yn kept on looking outside, with the hope of Seonghyeon’s — her childhood best friend’s carriage to come in sight. They have been spending summer apart all the years they’ve known each other, but something felt different this year. A quiet ache that turned into an ever-growing one.
“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute, even though you didn’t have to spend your whole day waiting here.” Her mother adviced. “Mother, I’ve shown great restraint this year, remember how I used to wait by the west gates?” Yn said raising her brows with a soft smile. “I do, dear, and I acknowledge that this whole summer you’ve been very acquiescent with all the balls your father made you attend.” “Oh, don’t remind me, all of that was indeed dreadful.” She laughed turning her eyes towards her mother, looking away from the window.
“I think the one you’ve been waiting for is here, my dear.” Her mother signaled her to a carriage that seemed to be coming towards the palace. “Oh my goodness!” She exclaimed excitedly— standing up quickly and started running, the sound of the wheels against the gravel drive getting louder and louder. She was supposed to be acting restrained— considering how many times she had been scolded by her father— but the anticipation and exhilaration to see her best friend again was way more overwhelming than any restrain she could show. Her best friend was here, after a long long summer away in Florence, how could she not run to him?
Eom Seonghyeon— the Northumberland’s Earl’s son and Yn’s childhood best friend was finally here. “Seonghyeon!” She ran to him, as he was stepping out the carriage, pulling him into a hug. Screw that restraint father has been constantly reminding me about, she thought. “Yn, oh, how I missed you.” He spoke in her hair, inhaling her scent that he so dearly missed. “I missed you, more, Hyeon.” She smiled at him, pulling back. “I’m honored, your Highness.” He smiled mischievously. “I’ve told you countless times to stop calling me that.” She pouted.
“Alright, I’m only teasing you.” He ruffled her hair. “Would you like to take a walk with me at the gardens, dear Yn?” He laughed. “Oh, how could I decline such offer my dear friend?” She said dramatically, linking her arm with his.
“So how was Florence?” She questioned. “It was undoubtedly beautiful, I’ve never seen such exquisite art and the people were extremely kind to me. Truly a once in a lifetime experience.” He answered sincerely. “Does this mean you didn’t even miss England one bit?” She tilted her head. “That was not what I said. There were certainly some aspects of England that I missed every single day.” He looked at her adoringly. “Matter of fact, I even brought something.” He said taking out of his lapel a small pressed flower bookmark and handed it to her. “Seonghyeon, this is so beautiful, thank you.” She said sincerely. “I made it myself, so now you won’t fuss anymore about losing the page you were at the books you read.”
“That is so thoughtful of you, Hyeon.” She smiled at him fondly. “A princess should always be cared for.” He winked at her. “I wish I could be as untroubled as you, this title is making me feel preposterous. You would not believe how many balls I had to attend the whole time you were away!” She took a long breath. “Come on, I don’t think it could have been that bad.” He tried to console her. “Perhaps if you were there, it could have been more tolerable.” She shrugged.
“I was informed that your sister got married.” He said, as they sat on a bench close to the front of the palace. “Yes, she was. Don’t get me wrong, this whole thing was fancy but I could never see myself settling down that swiftly, moreover with someone my parents chose for me. I want to be in love. Don’t you agree?” She looked down at the bookmark he had made for her in her hands. “I do agree. Nonetheless, what else did you do in your summer?” He changed the subject, that evidently was a sensitive topic for her.
“I spent most of my time with Sophia and Eve. You remember Eve, right? We had way too many slumber parties, I was so sad when she had to go back to Devon!” “Well, I’m glad you got to have fun. Reminds me of old times, when we’d stay late outside and our parents would scold us.” He smiled at the memory. “Oh, to be so blithe again!” She smiled too. “I recall the day you tried to climb that one tree and you got stuck on top and then was scared to climb back down!” He laughed. “Thank goodness for you, because I wouldn’t have, if you didn’t help me.” They both smiled, reminiscing their childhood years, nostalgia creeping like a ghost.
“Your Highness,” a soft voice came from the garden archway, Anna said with a smile “Dinner has been laid.” Yn gave a sympathetic smile to Seonghyeon and then turned to Anna, “Is everyone already seated?” She hoped they weren’t so she could spend some more time with the boy she so dearly missed. “Yes, your father has been asking for you.”
“If you excuse me, Seonghyeon, I’ll have to go, I’m so sad we can’t spend more time together.” She held his hand and greeted him goodbye.
“You look extremely joyous, your Highness.” Anna said with a smile that suggested she knew exactly what she was talking about. “It’s because I am.” Yn answered earnestly.
“I hope I have not kept you waiting. I quite lost track of time.” She said sliding in her seat next to her mother. “Yes, I am aware.” Her father said plainly, taking a look at her messy hair. “Although, you are no longer a child.” He said cutting his meat calmly. “What is that supposed to mean?” She raised her eyes from her plate to look at him— even though she had figured what he was trying to imply. “It means that there are expectations now and some attachments you ought to outgrow.” He said still but with a hint of cruelty. “And what if I don’t want to?” She tried to not talk back but could not hold herself back. What has gotten into her father? Why is he dismissing her most cherished friendship? “You’re mistaken if you simply think you have a choice. The son of an earl may walk beside you in a garden but he can’t secure a place beside you at the throne.” He continued, words cutting deeply.
She lets the words sink in, only the sound of cutlery filling the room, she felt the urge to get out. “I find myself feeling a bit unwell. If you excuse me.” She stood up from her seat, the chair scraping the hardwood floor softly. “Anna, could you please check on her later?” Her mother asked and Anna nodded in agreement.
“Perhaps, you should not have been as cruel as you were to her.” Her mother said cautiously. “She will never learn if I am not. And we both know she has been quite defiant since she was young. Someone has to set limits for her.” He stuck to his guns despite his wife’s comment.
A soft knock was heard on Yn’s door. “Your Highness, could I come in?” Anna’s voice was heard. “Sure.” She said. When Anna came in her room, she saw Yn buried under her sheets. “He can be way too harsh sometimes.” She said taking a seat next to Yn who had turned now to Anna’s side. “If you need anything, call me anytime.” She gave her a sympathetic smile and left.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
The next day, Yn slipped out early, with her riding habit on, on her way to the stable yard. She wanted a moment with her favorite horse before the whole party of her friends arrived. They had planned this morning ride long ago, when all of them would be back from their summer excursions.
To her surprise, Seonghyeon had the same idea. She found him petting his respectable horse, as he had previously fed it. “They say great minds think alike.” He said looking at her. “Seems like we had the same idea.” She said softly, walking towards her horse.
A comfortable yet uncommon silence had filled the stable, only the occasional sound of horseshoes being heard. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Seonghyeon how much more stationary she had been than usual. Due to his quiet nature and understanding that something may have bothered her, he hesitated to ask her how she’s feeling, not yet at least.
Soon enough the whole party arrived. The twins — Helen and Keonho, the Marquesses’ children, Sophia— the Viscount’s daughter and Jake— the Duke’s of Northumberland son. The horses were brought forward, formal greetings heard, except one that didn’t go unobserved by Seonghyeon.
“You look well this morning, your Highness.” Jake commented, Yn smiling politely in return. Seonghyeon’s gaze lingering just a second longer. “Do you need any help with your horse?” Jake asked Yn, “That’s very kind of you, but no.” She shut him down quickly and Seonghyeon would be lying if he pretended that he didn’t feel relieved at the sound of that.
Departure time had finally come after all the preparations were done and a socially acceptable formation was in place— because eyes were everywhere. Yn next to Jake, with the twins following and lastly Sophia and Seonghyeon. Shortly, the formation started breaking, Yn urging her horse subtly forward. “Careful, your Highness–” Jake tried to warn her but Yn had been too gone to even listen to him, she followed that path since childhood, she was aware of what she was doing.
In due time, she was riding ahead, the friends’ chatter long forgotten, them falling slightly behind and only one person keeping up. No other than the Earl’s son. “You should not ride so recklessly.” Seonghyeon said calmly. “You’ve never objected before.” She gave him that look she had since childhood. “Fair, enough.” He shrugged, “Although, I can fully comprehend why you wanted to lead the way. You’ve been more still today and it seemed like the loud chatter wasn’t your cup of tea.” He observed, he always did. She didn’t answer, how could he see right through her?
Sophia now stuck behind riding next to Keonho, had been spectating the whole interaction from afar. She knew before anyone else about all the longing stares, about how the princess and the Earl’s son understood each other best— they spoke a secret language only they knew, she knew that if one asked, the other would ruin themselves for.
After the ride was done and everyone began to disperse, Sophia approached her cherished friend, not to tease but to just express her observations. “You always ride faster when you’re with him.” She said interlocking her arm with Yn’s. “It’s not my fault, you guys can’t keep up.” They both laughed simultaneously. “Are you thrilled that he’s back from Florence?” She asked even though she was aware of the answer. “He’s my oldest friend.” Yn responded immediately. “Yes, I know.” Sophia said in that knowing tone.
It was now time for the luncheon, after refreshing, everyone gathered at the terrace. Yn sat between Sophia and Helen, occasionally glancing towards the boys’ side. During tea, “The Season is approaching.” Keonho casually mentioned. “I heard the Duke of Tintagel intents to present his court this autumn.” His twin sister added. “Didn’t he previously do that?” Yn questioned. “He will now be presenting his younger son, if I’m not mistaken.” Jake added. “It seems like the court always has a plan.” Keonho shrugged.
Jake and the twins chatter on, gossiping about the new court additions, Yn spaced out mid-conversation, Seonghyeon quietly observing and Sophia toying with her spoon.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
Days blending into one consisting of constant socializing— paying calls, dinners— making Yn curse her inconvenient royal origin. All she wanted to do was spend some time with her closest friends and get away from this continuous loop. So that’s what she was doing today. A tea party with Sophia and Helen was ahead of her and she could not be more relieved.
The sun was setting, a soft breeze blowing, and the tea had been already laid. The girls arriving at the same time, they hugged each other and took their seats. How much she missed them.
“I’m still expecting you to braid my hair.” Yn told Helen, as she took a sip from her tea. “So do I.” Sophia smirked. “I can not believe my own friends are taking advantage of me so they will get their hair braided!” Helen sighed dramatically. “You’ve been getting taken advantage of since you were oh so excitedly telling us about how your sister taught you to braid properly, back when we were still children.” Yn joked, and all the girls chuckled.
“Do you remember when we used to sneak into the kitchen and steal sweets and then pretend we were clueless when the chef asked us?” Sophia said reminiscing. “I got scolded for the “magically„ disappearing sweets a great deal of times but it was so worth it.” Yn laughed wholeheartedly. “I wish we could reverse time, whenever I think of everything we used to do back then.” Helen confessed. “Just like the time you insisted you could climb onto the horse and fell down?” Sophia teased Helen. “Hey! This was just a miscalculation!” Helen said mock-insulted.
“Girls, what would you think if I suggested we go and steal some sweets? For all time’s sake.” Yn said, mischief lacing her voice. “Well, considering this is for old time’s sake, I suppose we could agree to this suggestion, don’t you agree Sophia?” Helen turned to her, anticipating the positive answer. “Oh, both of you are so impish… I love it.” Sophia returned the same energy. “What are we waiting for then?” Yn stood up and signaled the girls to the palace’s kitchen.
They sneakily slid inside the kitchen, careful to not make any noise, Helen decided to keep watch as Yn and Sophia investigated for the fresh lemon tarts the chef baked this morning. “I found them!” Yn whisper-shouted, trying to balance three tarts for each of them. “You’re going to drop them!” Sophia whispered concerned, rushing to Yn to help her. “All clear?” Yn approached Helen to give her own tart. “Uh oh, I hear footsteps.” Helen said putting a hand over her mouth. “Let’s get out from here— Yn indicated the door that led to the garden”. “To the count of three, we all start running.” Sophia whispered and the two other girls nodded.
Running outside with the tarts in hand while laughing with their heart and souls, it felt just like the old times they’ve been reminiscing about, feeling just like their twelve-year-old selves. The adrenaline mixed with nostalgia hitting even harder. “Phew, that was a close shave.” Sophia exhaled. “We’re far enough, right?” Helen said almost out of breath. “Yeah, don’t worry.” Yn reassured her. “Hey, isn’t that Seonghyeon’s house?” Sophia said as they continued to now walk. “I can’t believe we even ran that much–” Yn’s sentence was caught off by the sound of music coming out of the house’s windows.
She’d recognize this melody anywhere, he was playing her favorite song. “That’s a beautiful song.” Sophia commented giving a knowing look to Helen , as she remembered how Yn had insisted on Seonghyeon learning that specific piece. The notes merging with the late summer breeze softly.
Seonghyeon unaware of the crowd, continued to play, not rushing the last notes like he used to but he let them drag, as if he sensed that she happened to be there. How desperately he wanted to express his adoration for her, but no, it was not yet the time. And furthermore, he thought that he still hadn’t found the way he would communicate it, considering all conventional expressions futile devices.
The girls carried on with their walk, the melody now fading. “So, should we perhaps steal more tarts?” Helen’s voice cut through the silence. “Why are we stalling?” Yn turned to her— trying to find an escape from her thoughts about him— as they started to make a run for the kitchen again.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
The house had been quiet for a while since he stopped playing the piano and returned to his room. He promised to himself that he would perfect the piece before he stopped. You know, just in case she heard him. He will never forget the first time they heard that song playing at that ball, back in december, she looked so mesmerized by the melody, he had to learn to play it properly, for her. Even though he insisted it had nothing to do with her.
With one of his favorite pastimes being painting, this is what he was planning to do. He was looking through his drawers to find the necessities, until he stumbled upon that small velvet box. He hadn’t meant to look at it, but he did, remembering his grandma’s words when she gifted it to him, moments before she passed away. He missed her terribly.
“Take it.” She said handing him the small box, her hands trembling both from old age and that horrible illness that had been troubling for so long. “What is it?” A curious young Seonghyeon asked his grandma’s words, opening the box to see a gold pendant that looked like a chandelier with a small pearl detail in the middle. “This was the first gift your grandfather gave me, isn’t it so exquisite?” His grandmother smiled, remembering her late husband. “Indeed.” The young boy said, still not fully comprehending what was the reason she was giving something so precious to him. “This is for the woman you will love, it’s a family heirloom. Your future wife deserves to have it.” She said smiling. “Thank you, I ensure you, that I will give it to her—whoever she is.” He said earnestly.
He still lived with the hope of finding a true love like his grandparents. Deep in his thoughts, he didn’t notice his mother standing at the doorway, who was admiring her son. “You miss her?” His mother stepped closer to her son. “More than ever.” He said exhaling softly. “Were you thinking about what she told you before she passed?” His mother asked concerned. “Yeah, I do, more often than I’d like.” He admitted.
“You have found the one whom you love, haven’t you?” His mother asked rhetorically, as she always had the feeling from the moment they were children, that they would eventually fall in love, one way or another. “I am still uncertain.” He said cautiously. “You don’t have to lie to me, Seonghyeon.” His mother consoled him. “And what if I did?” He said a hint of vulnerability in his voice.
“It’s not a crime to be in love.” She reassured her son. “Then why does it feel like it?” He said closing his fingers around the pendant. “Because you have so much love inside of you and you still cannot comprehend how you can externalize it.” She said in that overly-motherly way. “Then why am I feeling so irritated and aggravated about it, even though I am not doing anything about it? It feels like I am in a constant fight with myself. Why couldn’t this be a little more simple?” He said frustrated. “It never is and that’s the beauty of it.”
“I do not know who I am without her.” He said running a hand through his hair. “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back ,like Plato said, and I think you found the heart that whispers back to yours.” His mother caressed his face. “Do not wait for permission to love, because you may wait forever.” His mother continued, pulling him in her embrace.
When she left, he stood still in his place, the pendant resting against his palm. Was his mother right? Perhaps, she was, considering she knew much more about love than him. He could confess but how? What if she didn’t feel the same? What if he made a fool of himself and ruined their friendship that he cherished?
That night, he cried, despite the fact that he would never admit it to anyone. That ache in his heart begging to get healed, that ache only she could heal. I ought to confess, he thought. Why couldn’t he have been born as a prince as well? Everything would have been much more simple.
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“Your Highness, you have a guest.” Anna’s voice was heard, waking Yn up from her deep slumber under all the covers that still failed to provide some warmth from the morning November chill. “A guest?” She mumbled in her sleep. “Yeah, so wake up, lazybones.” Yn stood up at the sound of her sister’s voice. “What are you doing here?” She said excitedly, hugging her. “You thought I was going to forget your birthday?” Daniela said hugging her back.
“No, but I thought you had duties at your new kingdom.” Yn shrugged. “Nothing is more important than my little sister. You come first.” Daniela smiled. “Your absence was extremely felt. Especially the first days, considering all my friends were away.” She confessed. “Well, now I am here and that’s all that matters.” Daniela reassured her little sister.
“I brought you something.” Daniela said, pulling out a box wrapped in paper. “You shouldn’t have.” Yn said unwrapping it and seeing a journal bound in leather, her initials engraved on it. “It’s for you to write your secrets and your thoughts, you know the ones you never even let me know about.” Daniela teased. “Oh, hush. It’s not my fault you got married and decided to move away.” Yn rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I had a choice!” Daniela said in her defence.
“Do you love him?” Yn questioned. “I will be sincere, at first I did not… but gradually I learnt to do so.” Daniela admitted. “So what about you? You have anyone, that I do not know about, that has caught your eye?” Daniela joshed her little sister. “Stop acting like you know everything. I am not in love with him.” Yn said. “And the sky is not blue.” It was now Daniela’s turn to roll her eyes. “You genuinely smiled at the thought of him, you can’t trick me, little one.” She tickled her sister.
“Alright, alright enough with the love talk.” Yn said unable to hold her laughs. “Fine, I’ll do as you please, only because it’s your birthday though!” Daniela smiled. “Are you excited about tonight?” She said now brushing Yn’s hair. “Father said he decided to host the start of the little season today as a birthday present, but honestly it does not feel like it.” Yn conceded. “I understand how you are feeling, honey.” Daniela consoled her.
There was a knock on the door, just as Daniela finished with brushing her sister’s hair. “Come in!” Yn said. “There’s someone waiting for you at the gardens, your Highness.” Anna said with a soft smile and Daniela turned to Yn with that playful smile which gained a “hush” from Yn. “Go, what are you waiting for?” Daniela urged her.
Yn quickly put on her gown, went down the stairs running unconsciously, to meet him. “Happy birthday, Yn.” He said with his usual warm smile. “Thank you.” She reciprocated with a smile as well. “I wanted to give you something.” Seonghyeon said, pulling a small box out of his lapel, handing it to her. “It’s not much but it holds a great deal of significance.” He said, in anticipation to her reaction when she opened the box. The golden caught the light faintly, the small pearl detail shining, it was pendant— smooth with age. “Seonghyeon, it is stunning.” She said in awe, understanding that it was not new, hence the significance it held for him.
“It belonged to my grandmother.” He confessed. “I can’t take it from you, then.” She looked at him with her doe eyes. “She would want you to have it.” He said putting his hands on hers. “Could you please help me put it on?” “Of course.” He said, taking the pendant in his hands. He reached to fasten it, his fingers brushing her neck, goosebumps felt by both of them.
She looks up at him, being closer than they have ever allowed themselves to be. It felt like time slowed down, their hearts racing. He lowered his head slightly— albeit hesitatingly— she tilted her head as well. All until footsteps were heard close by, it was Sophia. “Yn, are you here?” She said looking around. They both freezed, the world rushing back in, he took a step back.
“Oh, there you are!” Sophia said, her eyes flicking to the new addition on Yn’s neck. “Your mother called for you.” “Of course.” Yn said touching her necklace unconsciously. “You will stop by in the afternoon, right?” She turned to Seonghyeon before departing with Sophia. “Certainly.” He said with his familiar sweet smile.
“Don’t say a word.” Yn said playing with the necklace nervously. “You know I won’t.” Sophia smiled at her.
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“Just tell me if it’s hurting you, alright?” Anna said helping Yn with her corset. “It always does.” She said lightheartedly. “You’ve always been so dramatic.” Helen said pacing around Yn’s room. “I remember when she cried the first time she had to wear a corset.” Sophia added. “Thanks for the emotional support girls, I couldn’t be more relaxed right now.” Yn said sarcastically.
“No seriously, Yn, you look like you’re a lamb to the slaughter. Cheer up a little! It’s your birthday after all.” Helen said looking through Yn’s jewellery box for a pair of earrings that matched her gown. “Don’t you guys think it’s a bit odd my dad decided this should be my birthday celebration? Heck, I don’t even know half the people that are coming!” Yn said trying to compose her frustration. “That’s why we’re going to be by your side the whole time, don’t become disheartened, beautiful girl. This is your day after all.” Sophia said putting on a bit of blush on Yn’s cheeks.
“You think these earrings suit your new necklace?” Helen said holding up a pair of pearl detailed earrings. “You’re reading way too much into this.” Yn rolled her eyes smiling. “What? We need to find something that’s matching your necklace! You know, to honour its bestower.” Helen smirked. “Give it a rest, Helen, her cheeks are becoming even more rosy at the thought of him.” Sophia said with a huge grin. “I hate you both.” Yn smiled. “We love you too.” Helen winked.
Anna entered the room again, “Your Father is expecting you downstairs before the first guests arrive.” “I’ll be there in a moment.” Yn said and Anna nodded to her reply. “Are you ready?” Sophia asked. “Does it matter if I’m not?” Yn opened the bedroom’s door to go downstairs.
The orchestra had began, laughter was heard and servants moving around to cater to everyone’s needs. Yn moved close with her friends through the crowd, often making that exhausting small talk with birthday wishes from people she had never even met before. “Is it my idea or is this place a bit too crowded for my liking?” Yn said, looking around. “It is crowded indeed. I’m not even able to locate my own brother.” Helen rubbed her temple.
“Wait, is that Seonghyeon?” Sophia pointed. “I think so.” Helen answered. “Go.” Sophia signaled Yn to him, no longer interlocking arms with her. “But if I leave you guys, I won’t be able to find you again. This place is extremely teeming!” “Don’t worry about this, we’ll keep an eye on you, just go.” Helen pushed her waist gently.
As she tried to move through the sea of people, someone grabbed her arm, startling her. “There you are.” Her father said. “I have to introduce to the Duke of Tintagel’s son.” He lead her towards two men— a man of older age and his son, seemingly Yn’s age. “May I present His Grace’s son, Juhoon.” Her father said. “Pleased to meet you.” The guy said bowing over Yn’s hand. “So do I.” She gave a polite smile. “So, why don’t you kids get to know each other better, perhaps with a drink?” The duke suggested. “That’s an incredible idea, your Grace.” Yn’s father agreed. Great, now I’m stuck with some guy and I have to make that oh so dreadful small talk, Yn thought.
Surely this whole interaction did not go unnoticed by a certain someone— and apart from Yn’s friends who face palmed themselves when they saw her father approaching her. So like the good friends they are, they decided to draw near him. “Hallo, Seonghyeon.” Sophia tapped his shoulder and he turned around. “Hello, girls.” He said with his polite smile. “So what do you think of today’s weather?” Helen tried to lighten the situation, with a merely dumb question that gained a concerned look from Sophia. “Uhh, it’s fine–” Seonghyeon didn’t even finish his sentence when he got interrupted by Helen. “Oh there’s Keonho!” She waved at her brother to get his attention. “Now that he’ll come, we won’t bother you anymore.” Sophia joked and Seonghyeon laughed.
This whole bustling atmosphere had been fueling Yn’s urge to flee. All she needed was a good excuse to leave the Duke’s son without appearing unkind. She spotted her sister from afar and that’s when the idea came. “Let me introduce you to my sister, Daniela.” Yn said. “Daniela, this Juhoon, the Duke’s son. And both of you share the love for croquet, so I’m sure you will keep each other great company.” “Oh you like croquet too?” Juhoon asked. “Yes! It’s my husband’s favorite pastime and it gradually became mine too. We should all play together some time!” Daniela said. With the croquet talk, Yn managed to slip out the conversation.
She desperately needed to get some fresh air, and she chose one of her few comfort places in the palace— the rooftop. She was so glad she managed to get away from loud music, the obnoxious laughing and the gold light. What she didn’t expect though, was Seonghyeon having the same idea. Seems like both of them got overwhelmed.
“Didn’t expect you here.” She said sitting next to him on the railing. “Could say the same for you. Don’t you have dukes to entertain?” He said his voice laced with a note of hurt. “Very funny, Seonghyeon. You know better than anyone, I did not choose this.” She turned her head to him. “You never do.” He replied. “I feel like this was a whole set up more than a birthday celebration. What was my father thinking?” She said frustrated. “I think you can answer for yourself.” His hand reached for hers. “I’d rather not.” She exhaled.
“He looked very agreeable.” Seonghyeon mentioned. “Yes… but he isn’t you.” She looked at him. “You should not just say things like that, Yn.” He said, his heart beating out of his chest. “Why?” She said getting closer. “You don’t know what you have gotten yourself into.” He stepped closer too, their faces inches away. “Then show me.” She looked deep into his eyes. “It is not going to be simple.” He responded. “When has it ever been?” She finally closed the gap between them.
One moment there was space between them and then there wasn’t. The kiss was not hurried, not careless, just inevitable. It spelled all of the years holding back, all of the tears wasted on the thought of rejection, it was something both of them have been waiting for all their lives. Whatever happened next, none of them would regret this. Without a care in the world, it felt like time had frozen, she felt like she eventually was chosen and not prayed upon like she felt that whole afternoon. She was chosen by her one true love.
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“My beautiful Yn, wake up.” The next morning, she felt a gentle hand rubbing her arm, to wake her up. “5 more minutes, Dani.” Yn turned around. “Father, wants to talk to you.” Daniela said in a serious tone yet concerning tone. “Well, can’t it wait for a little?” She said groggy from sleep. “I am afraid not. Come on , wake up.” Daniela pulled the blanket off her sister. “Alright, I’m up!” Yn said rubbing her eyes.
“You asked for me, father?” Yn said arriving at the living room. “Yes, I did. Please, sit.” He signaled at her. “Is everything alright?” Yn questioned, seeing her father’s grave expression. “Not quite. Somebody saw you yesterday. With the earl’s son.” Her father said seriously. “Could you elaborate on that?” Yn said, her blood slowly running cold. “They saw you, kissing, Yn.” His eyes shooting daggers at her.
“Do you comprehend how humiliating and disrespectful this was for our family?” Her father’s expression not even faltering for a second. “Who saw us?” Yn asked, her heart beating out of her chest. “It doesn’t matter, it could have been anyone from all those people. I chose not to make a scene back then, but you disobeyed my wishes.”
“Is it really humiliating for you that I am in love? Is it a crime?” Yn said tears welling up her eyes little by little. “It is, when your future is at stake.” Her father’s cold expression not wavering for a second. “You were supposed to be socializing, getting familiar with the duke’s son, but you decided it was a good idea to sneak out to the rooftop with him.”
“You left your sister to interact with him, while you should have been the one to be doing so with him.” He continued. “Well, is it really my fault that they had more common interests than I did with him?” Yn tried to compose herself from breaking down. “That’s such stuff and nonsense!” Her father raised his voice a little more.
“You will not see him outside of social functions.” He said frigidly. “But, father–” “If he values you at all, he will understand. No daughter of mine will behave that childish.” He said unrelentingly, without caring about his daughter’s tears. “You can not decide about my life like that. It’s unfair!” Yn said tears streaming down her face. “This conversation is over.” He stood up from his stool, leaving her back heartbroken.
She spent the rest of her day, locked in her room, with no disinclined to do anything, even when Anna informed her that her favorite meal was cooked for dinner. She cried and cried, she knew it was not going to be simple. How could her father be so heartless? How is it such a great shame that she fell in love with someone who actually saw her for her and not for her title?
“Can I come in?” Sophia’s soft voice was heard from outside the door. “Sure.” Yn answered, quickly wiping her tears. Sophia walked in her room, going over Yn’s bed and pulling her in a hug. “You don’t have to hide from me.” She consoled her friend. “Why does he have to be so cruel?” Yn felt more tears building up. “He doesn’t understand, sweetheart.” Sophia said quietly.
“I don’t ever remember my grandfather saying that my father asked for permission to marry my mother, so why do I have to?” Yn said sniffing. “He cannot forbid what has already happened. You and Seonghyeon have been in love for years, it was actually painful seeing you two not realize.” She ran her hand softly through Yn’s hair. “Realize what?” Yn said. “That you never look at anyone else the way you look at him.”
“Oh, Sophia what would I do without you.” Yn said trying to hold back her tears. “I will always be here, I promise you that.” She wiped Yn’s tears from her face. “Why can’t it be easier? Am I asking for that much?” Yn said. “Because love is a heart attack. Love is the best and worth of everything.” Sophia booped Yn’s nose. “And how infuriating is that?” Yn exhaled, holding a smile.
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No one could say that November was smooth sailing, Yn resented herself for letting them get caught because now she payed the price with having to attend numerous events. With her father on the side. Always. What hurt more though, was the fact that she could not run to Seonghyeon, who happened to attend the same events. Her father’s eyes glued to her as a hawk.
Seonghyeon did not approach her anymore, he bowed to her from a distance, trying to not put her in more pressure, while her father was present. He felt the shift immediately. Her carefree nature exchanged for a serious, calculated one. He felt terrible, knowing that he was the root of it. He should have never kissed her, if that meant she had to go through this.
During a supper at the Marquesses’ estate, when he heard her laugh after such a long time, he felt his heart shattering, was he the one who had stole her ability to laugh?
She felt his eyes on her all the time, and although she wanted to ignore it, she wasn’t able to. She stole glances here and there, whenever her father wasn’t paying undivided attention to her. How she missed his smile, their talks, how they understood each other in a level no one else managed to do.
Only once they found themselves alone, only for a moment, when everyone was so busy, in the living room and they had sneaked in the kitchen for a moment of peace. He stopped in his tracks seeing her sat down on the floor licking any remaining jam from the pot. She looked up at him, taking his face in, she missed being alone with him so much.
“I don’t bite.” She said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “You can sit if you want.” She gave him a polite smile. “I should probably go back.” He quickly said, leaving. He could not bare to see her hurting more, if someone caught them alone again. “Oh, alright.” She said quietly, sighing as long as he left. Why did I have to be like that?
Days passed, interactions between Yn and Seonghyeon from minimal to zero. Yn spent her nights crying, holding the pendant in her hand, never taking it off. It was the only reminder she had of him now. Soon enough, Christmas was approaching and so did the respective celebration her father organised each year.
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“I have an extremely bad feeling about today.” Yn said to Sophia as they strolled around in the great hall, that had already started to get packed with people. “It’s Christmas, what could go wrong?” Sophia tried to cheer her up. Yn looked around with the hope of seeing him, and she did, him looking composed as ever besides his parents conversing with some businessmen. On the other side of the room, her father standing near the hearth, conversing with the Duke and his son. At the sight of this, she immediately looked back to Seonghyeon. Albeit their eyes, did not once meet.
After some time, her father lifted his glass. The room went still, the music lowering, awaiting for his incoming toast. “My friends, I am extremely honored and grateful for all of you spending your Christmas here with us. And in this context, it is my great honour and I am pleased to announce my daughter’s betrothal…— Yn felt her world shattering in pieces, that faint tightening in her chest becoming ever growing —… to his Grace’s son, Juhoon.” She met her father’s gaze, this whole thing was beyond belief. Applause began, enthusiastic and polite. She could still not believe her father had went out of his way to arrange a whole marriage against her will.
“Nothing brings me greater joy than to see both of my daughters that have entered adulthood, ready to live up to the responsibilities that await for them, let alone my youngest daughter, Yn.” He gave Yn that perfectly staged smile. He knew it that he had turned her world upside down. And she despised him for that.
Seonghyeon from the other side of the room met her gaze, he figured it that this happened unbeknownst to her. He hurt at the thought that he couldn’t protect her. As people started gathering towards her and the Duke’s son to congratulate them, he felt that the atmosphere became even more suffocating. “Son–” his mother tried to stop him, but he was already heading outside.
Little did he know, that her eyes had not left him for a moment. “Excuse me–” she pulled her hand away from someone who had been congratulating her, even though they had never met before. “I need some fresh air.” She told the Duke’s son and he nodded as a response.
She rushes out and it’s raining, great, she thought. He couldn’t have gone too far, could he? She looked around, when she recalled the spot they always used to go when they were children, she could take her chance and go there.
He turned when he heard her footsteps. Luckily for her, he was in fact there. “Did you know?” He said not angry but composed. She nodded her head no and he came closer to her, pulling her in a hug to shield her from the rain and the cold. “He cannot just decide like that, it’s unfair.” She said breaking down. “I know, I know.” He caressed her hair, trying to hold his own tears back. “I thought, we could scrape through, I thought we had more time.” She continued. “It doesn’t matter, you will always have me.” He consoled her.
“I am hopelessly, irretrievably and overpoweringly in love with you, Yn and nothing is going to change that.” He put his hand on her chin to make her look up. “Don’t say that.” She said, sniffing. “God, Yn, I spend the entire time I’m not with you trying to convince myself that I must be making that up, the amount I love you. It will always be you I see.” He said wiping her tears, mixed with rain, with his thumb.
“I love you.” She said taking a deep breath. And that’s when he kissed her. It started small at first, they pulled away for an instant, but they could not hold back anymore. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t careful. It was everything they had refused to say, it was every time they ignored each other in order to not “hurt” each other, failing miserably each time.
It was every stolen glance. Every deliberate step away. Every moment they had tried to convince themselves they could endure the distance. Any restraint that kept them away from each other those past weeks was now gone.
Her hands in his hair. His tightened around her waist, afraid she might disappear any moment now. The rain soaking both of their clothes, but neither of them could not care less.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
The weeks between Christmas and the night before the wedding was a fine line between stolen moments and implicit understanding about what they were doing.
Sneaking around at social gatherings, Yn on the outside mimicking the perfect soon-to-be wife in front of her father and her soon-to-be husband— who by the who knew all about her and Seonghyeon— when the only thing in her mind was how to disappear slyly to meet with Seonghyeon even for a second.
The old greenhouse had become their haven, late night meet ups, stolen kisses and quiet conversations filling up the abandoned place almost every night. Needless to say this whole scheme would not work without the help of Anna and Sophia, being the only people who knew about the secret rendezvous.
It was truly ridiculous what lengths two people would go to for love, but they were determined to do so, to defy the rules set by a cruel society. Of course, there were a lot of risky moments, suspicions of her father, a lecture from her sister, even a remark from Seonghyeon’s mother.
They had mastered the art of secrecy, words whispered only for them to know, dancing at balls out of “politeness” and hands brushing under tables, but when she’s in his arms, she feels no fear. Now they know that to live is to dream and hope for all those moments.
With the wedding date approaching, made them appreciate all this absurdity even more. Their moments becoming moreover precious. “So, he knows?” Seonghyeon said surprised. “Honestly, he took it better than I expected. He said he understood because he has his own lady friend.” She raised her eyebrows. “Oh, that explains it then. And why didn’t her do anything to prevent this whole marriage arrangement?” Seonghyeon questioned.
“Me and him are on the same boat, it’s his father.” Yn face palmed herself. “It’s like you’re destined for each other.” Seonghyeon said, his voice laced with sadness. “Don’t say that. No one will ever get me like you do. Hyeon, you have taken complete control of how my heart bleeds.” Yn pressed a soft kiss on his cheek.
“But do you ever wonder what will happen after you get married?” His words stopped Yn’s hand mid-playing with his hair. “Nothing is going to change.” She tried to reassure him, although she wasn’t that sure herself. “Your parents will defined expect a heir in the future.” Seonghyeon exhaled. “You know better than anyone that I do not conform to their expectations.” She said, hurt because how could he ever think something like that about her.
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“Could you at least pretend to be a little thrilled? You’re getting married tomorrow for God’s sake!” Daniela said, admiring her sister’s wedding dress that hung at her wardrobe. “Marriage is not something all women want.” Yn rolled her eyes, closing the book she read, putting the pressed flower bookmark Seonghyeon gifted her. “Well, you’re not all women, are you?” Daniela threw a pillow at her. “Do you have to remind me every time?” Yn said irritated.
“Is this attitude because of him?” Daniela said seriously. “I don’t know, you tell me, Daniela. Would you be happy getting married to someone who you don’t even love and doesn’t love you, instead of the love of your life?” Yn said trying to not completely lash out on her poor sister. “Look, Yn, I’d rather not argue with you right now. Perhaps you need some time by yourself.” Daniela moved towards the door. “Great, do not answer me, you’re just like father. No wonder you agree so much on everything with him lately.” Yn said resentfully. “See you tomorrow, Yn.” Daniela said coldly and closed the door. “Oh, and please call Anna, I need her!” Yn said as the door closed loudly.
“You called for me, your Highness?” Anna stepped in the room, some moments after. “Yes, Anna, I did. Did you manage to talk to Seonghyeon about what we agreed upon?” She said, hopeful. “He took some time to get convinced but he is coming tonight, sweetie.” Anna smiled. “Ugh, thank you so much.” She hugged her governess.
Yn had been anticipating the night before her marriage— evidently much more than the actual day, since this was the last time she could have Seonghyeon by her side “freely„ . As much as they both were dreading the fact that things were about to change, they had no choice but to accept this.
She had been standing in front of her window, door locked expecting him to climb any moment now that it was dark. Yes, Yn was worried about being caught but this was their last chance.
She turned around to brush her hair a little, when she heard a thump on her window— the little signal Seonghyeon used to do every time he sneaked in. Yn eagerly went to open it and help him get in. “I began to feel anxious, I thought you wouldn’t come.” She said as she helped him take off the dust from his clothes. “Not a chance in the world that I wouldn’t be here with you tonight.” He brushed a stray hair off her face.
They settled for Yn’s bed, her on his chest, their breathing steady and synchronized, every thing had quieted down, considering it was almost midnight. “Can I ask you something?” She said as he played with her hair. “Anything.” “When did you first know?” She said, playing with her pendant. “The day you jumped into the pond when the guys dared you to prove you were brave and then defended yourself when your father deemed your action improper.” He smiled, reminiscing about their childhood. “That was humiliating.” She blinked. “No, it wasn’t. Even when your father lectured you, you told him you’d rather be improper than a weakling.”
“That’s what I always admired about you, Yn. Your courage, the way you refused to cry.” And that’s what was the breaking point for her, soft tears started falling from her eyes, him wiping them for her, attempting to hold his own tears back. “What about you?” He asked. “I think I loved you before I even knew what love was, but if I need to be specific, it must have been the first summer you went away, when the house had never before felt incredibly quiet and empty.”
“This was indeed a rough summer.” He added. “You tell me? I felt as if I could not breath when you were not near.” She said, playing with his fingers. “Seonghyeon, do you hate me?” She said, taking a deep breath. “I could never hate you.” He said, tears escaping from his own eyes. The thought of not growing old beside one another, of not laughing together, kissing, dancing, the thought of becoming strangers one day, taunted them, causing an intolerable pain.
She fell asleep first—exhausted from crying, exhausted from having to part from who she truly wants for the sake of the title she unfortunately bares. Seonghyeon stayed awake, although he knew he could never forget her, memorizing any last details. How her slightly wavy hair fell loose, the way her hand moderately curled, how the pendant bejeweled her neck. If only he could freeze time.
“You take my breath away, I hope you know that.” His voice barely a whisper, to not wake her. Seonghyeon kissed her forehead, as a quiet goodbye and he silently made his way towards the window, doing his best to not make a sound. No one saw him leave that night. He regretted it that it had to happen like that but he knew deep down that it never would have been them, no matter how much they both craved it.
The night was cold, a frosty air filled the atmosphere. There was not a single soul outside, apart from him, his mother and his coachman waiting for him to depart. “Are you certain this is what you want?” His mother asked him, evidently troubled about her son’s choice. “Yes, mother, I am certain.” He said, attempting to keep his cool, even though his distress was clear. “You can always change your mind.” She advised him. “There’s no time for that, I ought to departure now. Is everything ready Mr. Edwards?” He turned to the coachman. “Yes, sir.”
“Till we meet again, mama.” He said as he sat inside the carriage. “Goodbye, my dear son.” She said, tearing up a little. The hooves made an unpleasant sound against the wet gravel, reminding him his decision. Seonghyeon promised to himself that he would not look back, but he did— the estate growing smaller behind him. Seonghyeon, undoubtedly, will always love her but still he resents her for giving him a glimpse of what they could have been.
He had known it all this time, they were walking a fragile line, and the day had came when he had to live to see it break. He deemed himself fearless, but leaving proved otherwise. He never meant to cause her any sorrow, but he chose to step aside. He thought this sacrifice would make her thank him one day, he had convinced himself he had done the right thing. Though, it didn’t hurt any less.Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, he’ll never know.
She woke up some minutes before dawn, reaching to his side only to be met with cold linen and an envelope. She woke up distressed, rubbing her eyes as she quietly called out his name— no answer. She picked up the envelope, quickly tearing it, a letter in her hands now.
“No…” The word broke out before she could even comprehend it. Hands trembling. “You’re not gone, you can’t be gone, no.” She said sobbing , holding the paper to her chest tightly. She rushed to her sister’s room unconsciously, knocking her door harshly than appropriate. Her brother-in-law opened her door, surprised and half asleep, seeing Yn clearly upset, he woke up his wife immediately. “Daniela, your sister needs you.” He said quietly.
Daniela woke up, pulling her robe over her shoulders, walking towards her crying sister who held a piece of paper. “What happened?” She wiped Yn’s tears. “He left.” She said, a sob escaping her mouth, her hands shaking. “Oh, my darling.” Daniela pulled her in a hug, and this time Yn did not try to appear strong.
Daniela held her tightly, one hand caressing her hair as she had done when they were children. “We must endure what we are given.” She said softly. “Even this.” Yn shook her head against her shoulder.
“I did not even get to say goodbye.”
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
so hey people…
any criticism about my writing is more than welcome!
i have a love hate relationship with this fic honestly
and yes i did use guy thwarte’s telegram for the letter because i think there’s nothing cuter and more heartfelt in the entire world
╰┈➤ someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around
ೃ࿐ gentleman!seonghyeon x princess!fem!reader, slowburn, angst, set in the gilded age in england, inspired by “the buccaneers”
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‧₊ ♪˚⊹ playlist : wildest dreams - taylor swift , iris- the goo goo dolls, pushing it down and praying - lizzy mcalpine, illicit affairs - taylor swift , if only - dove cameron, reflections - the neighbourhood, somebody else - the 1975, ghost - justin bieber, trying on shoes - tate mcrae, horseshoe - tate mcrae, aygoustos - danae, we hug now - sydney rose, i can see you - taylor swift, bleed- malcolm todd ft. omar apollo, bench sitter - sarah kays, the prophecy - taylor swift, purple rain - prince, last kiss - taylor swift, did you know there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd - lana del rey
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“Honey, you’ve spent your whole day, looking outside of the window, is there something in your mind?” Her mother approached her and stroked her freshly cut hair — after much quarrel with her father to let her do so. “He’s late. He never is.” Yn kept on looking outside, with the hope of Seonghyeon’s — her childhood best friend’s carriage to come in sight. They have been spending summer apart all the years they’ve known each other, but something felt different this year. A quiet ache that turned into an ever-growing one.
“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute, even though you didn’t have to spend your whole day waiting here.” Her mother adviced. “Mother, I’ve shown great restraint this year, remember how I used to wait by the west gates?” Yn said raising her brows with a soft smile. “I do, dear, and I acknowledge that this whole summer you’ve been very acquiescent with all the balls your father made you attend.” “Oh, don’t remind me, all of that was indeed dreadful.” She laughed turning her eyes towards her mother, looking away from the window.
“I think the one you’ve been waiting for is here, my dear.” Her mother signaled her to a carriage that seemed to be coming towards the palace. “Oh my goodness!” She exclaimed excitedly— standing up quickly and started running, the sound of the wheels against the gravel drive getting louder and louder. She was supposed to be acting restrained— considering how many times she had been scolded by her father— but the anticipation and exhilaration to see her best friend again was way more overwhelming than any restrain she could show. Her best friend was here, after a long long summer away in Florence, how could she not run to him?
Eom Seonghyeon— the Northumberland’s Earl’s son and Yn’s childhood best friend was finally here. “Seonghyeon!” She ran to him, as he was stepping out the carriage, pulling him into a hug. Screw that restraint father has been constantly reminding me about, she thought. “Yn, oh, how I missed you.” He spoke in her hair, inhaling her scent that he so dearly missed. “I missed you, more, Hyeon.” She smiled at him, pulling back. “I’m honored, your Highness.” He smiled mischievously. “I’ve told you countless times to stop calling me that.” She pouted.
“Alright, I’m only teasing you.” He ruffled her hair. “Would you like to take a walk with me at the gardens, dear Yn?” He laughed. “Oh, how could I decline such offer my dear friend?” She said dramatically, linking her arm with his.
“So how was Florence?” She questioned. “It was undoubtedly beautiful, I’ve never seen such exquisite art and the people were extremely kind to me. Truly a once in a lifetime experience.” He answered sincerely. “Does this mean you didn’t even miss England one bit?” She tilted her head. “That was not what I said. There were certainly some aspects of England that I missed every single day.” He looked at her adoringly. “Matter of fact, I even brought something.” He said taking out of his lapel a small pressed flower bookmark and handed it to her. “Seonghyeon, this is so beautiful, thank you.” She said sincerely. “I made it myself, so now you won’t fuss anymore about losing the page you were at the books you read.”
“That is so thoughtful of you, Hyeon.” She smiled at him fondly. “A princess should always be cared for.” He winked at her. “I wish I could be as untroubled as you, this title is making me feel preposterous. You would not believe how many balls I had to attend the whole time you were away!” She took a long breath. “Come on, I don’t think it could have been that bad.” He tried to console her. “Perhaps if you were there, it could have been more tolerable.” She shrugged.
“I was informed that your sister got married.” He said, as they sat on a bench close to the front of the palace. “Yes, she was. Don’t get me wrong, this whole thing was fancy but I could never see myself settling down that swiftly, moreover with someone my parents chose for me. I want to be in love. Don’t you agree?” She looked down at the bookmark he had made for her in her hands. “I do agree. Nonetheless, what else did you do in your summer?” He changed the subject, that evidently was a sensitive topic for her.
“I spent most of my time with Sophia and Eve. You remember Eve, right? We had way too many slumber parties, I was so sad when she had to go back to Devon!” “Well, I’m glad you got to have fun. Reminds me of old times, when we’d stay late outside and our parents would scold us.” He smiled at the memory. “Oh, to be so blithe again!” She smiled too. “I recall the day you tried to climb that one tree and you got stuck on top and then was scared to climb back down!” He laughed. “Thank goodness for you, because I wouldn’t have, if you didn’t help me.” They both smiled, reminiscing their childhood years, nostalgia creeping like a ghost.
“Your Highness,” a soft voice came from the garden archway, Anna said with a smile “Dinner has been laid.” Yn gave a sympathetic smile to Seonghyeon and then turned to Anna, “Is everyone already seated?” She hoped they weren’t so she could spend some more time with the boy she so dearly missed. “Yes, your father has been asking for you.”
“If you excuse me, Seonghyeon, I’ll have to go, I’m so sad we can’t spend more time together.” She held his hand and greeted him goodbye.
“You look extremely joyous, your Highness.” Anna said with a smile that suggested she knew exactly what she was talking about. “It’s because I am.” Yn answered earnestly.
“I hope I have not kept you waiting. I quite lost track of time.” She said sliding in her seat next to her mother. “Yes, I am aware.” Her father said plainly, taking a look at her messy hair. “Although, you are no longer a child.” He said cutting his meat calmly. “What is that supposed to mean?” She raised her eyes from her plate to look at him— even though she had figured what he was trying to imply. “It means that there are expectations now and some attachments you ought to outgrow.” He said still but with a hint of cruelty. “And what if I don’t want to?” She tried to not talk back but could not hold herself back. What has gotten into her father? Why is he dismissing her most cherished friendship? “You’re mistaken if you simply think you have a choice. The son of an earl may walk beside you in a garden but he can’t secure a place beside you at the throne.” He continued, words cutting deeply.
She lets the words sink in, only the sound of cutlery filling the room, she felt the urge to get out. “I find myself feeling a bit unwell. If you excuse me.” She stood up from her seat, the chair scraping the hardwood floor softly. “Anna, could you please check on her later?” Her mother asked and Anna nodded in agreement.
“Perhaps, you should not have been as cruel as you were to her.” Her mother said cautiously. “She will never learn if I am not. And we both know she has been quite defiant since she was young. Someone has to set limits for her.” He stuck to his guns despite his wife’s comment.
A soft knock was heard on Yn’s door. “Your Highness, could I come in?” Anna’s voice was heard. “Sure.” She said. When Anna came in her room, she saw Yn buried under her sheets. “He can be way too harsh sometimes.” She said taking a seat next to Yn who had turned now to Anna’s side. “If you need anything, call me anytime.” She gave her a sympathetic smile and left.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
The next day, Yn slipped out early, with her riding habit on, on her way to the stable yard. She wanted a moment with her favorite horse before the whole party of her friends arrived. They had planned this morning ride long ago, when all of them would be back from their summer excursions.
To her surprise, Seonghyeon had the same idea. She found him petting his respectable horse, as he had previously fed it. “They say great minds think alike.” He said looking at her. “Seems like we had the same idea.” She said softly, walking towards her horse.
A comfortable yet uncommon silence had filled the stable, only the occasional sound of horseshoes being heard. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by Seonghyeon how much more stationary she had been than usual. Due to his quiet nature and understanding that something may have bothered her, he hesitated to ask her how she’s feeling, not yet at least.
Soon enough the whole party arrived. The twins — Helen and Keonho, the Marquesses’ children, Sophia— the Viscount’s daughter and Jake— the Duke’s of Northumberland son. The horses were brought forward, formal greetings heard, except one that didn’t go unobserved by Seonghyeon.
“You look well this morning, your Highness.” Jake commented, Yn smiling politely in return. Seonghyeon’s gaze lingering just a second longer. “Do you need any help with your horse?” Jake asked Yn, “That’s very kind of you, but no.” She shut him down quickly and Seonghyeon would be lying if he pretended that he didn’t feel relieved at the sound of that.
Departure time had finally come after all the preparations were done and a socially acceptable formation was in place— because eyes were everywhere. Yn next to Jake, with the twins following and lastly Sophia and Seonghyeon. Shortly, the formation started breaking, Yn urging her horse subtly forward. “Careful, your Highness–” Jake tried to warn her but Yn had been too gone to even listen to him, she followed that path since childhood, she was aware of what she was doing.
In due time, she was riding ahead, the friends’ chatter long forgotten, them falling slightly behind and only one person keeping up. No other than the Earl’s son. “You should not ride so recklessly.” Seonghyeon said calmly. “You’ve never objected before.” She gave him that look she had since childhood. “Fair, enough.” He shrugged, “Although, I can fully comprehend why you wanted to lead the way. You’ve been more still today and it seemed like the loud chatter wasn’t your cup of tea.” He observed, he always did. She didn’t answer, how could he see right through her?
Sophia now stuck behind riding next to Keonho, had been spectating the whole interaction from afar. She knew before anyone else about all the longing stares, about how the princess and the Earl’s son understood each other best— they spoke a secret language only they knew, she knew that if one asked, the other would ruin themselves for.
After the ride was done and everyone began to disperse, Sophia approached her cherished friend, not to tease but to just express her observations. “You always ride faster when you’re with him.” She said interlocking her arm with Yn’s. “It’s not my fault, you guys can’t keep up.” They both laughed simultaneously. “Are you thrilled that he’s back from Florence?” She asked even though she was aware of the answer. “He’s my oldest friend.” Yn responded immediately. “Yes, I know.” Sophia said in that knowing tone.
It was now time for the luncheon, after refreshing, everyone gathered at the terrace. Yn sat between Sophia and Helen, occasionally glancing towards the boys’ side. During tea, “The Season is approaching.” Keonho casually mentioned. “I heard the Duke of Tintagel intents to present his court this autumn.” His twin sister added. “Didn’t he previously do that?” Yn questioned. “He will now be presenting his younger son, if I’m not mistaken.” Jake added. “It seems like the court always has a plan.” Keonho shrugged.
Jake and the twins chatter on, gossiping about the new court additions, Yn spaced out mid-conversation, Seonghyeon quietly observing and Sophia toying with her spoon.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
Days blending into one consisting of constant socializing— paying calls, dinners— making Yn curse her inconvenient royal origin. All she wanted to do was spend some time with her closest friends and get away from this continuous loop. So that’s what she was doing today. A tea party with Sophia and Helen was ahead of her and she could not be more relieved.
The sun was setting, a soft breeze blowing, and the tea had been already laid. The girls arriving at the same time, they hugged each other and took their seats. How much she missed them.
“I’m still expecting you to braid my hair.” Yn told Helen, as she took a sip from her tea. “So do I.” Sophia smirked. “I can not believe my own friends are taking advantage of me so they will get their hair braided!” Helen sighed dramatically. “You’ve been getting taken advantage of since you were oh so excitedly telling us about how your sister taught you to braid properly, back when we were still children.” Yn joked, and all the girls chuckled.
“Do you remember when we used to sneak into the kitchen and steal sweets and then pretend we were clueless when the chef asked us?” Sophia said reminiscing. “I got scolded for the “magically„ disappearing sweets a great deal of times but it was so worth it.” Yn laughed wholeheartedly. “I wish we could reverse time, whenever I think of everything we used to do back then.” Helen confessed. “Just like the time you insisted you could climb onto the horse and fell down?” Sophia teased Helen. “Hey! This was just a miscalculation!” Helen said mock-insulted.
“Girls, what would you think if I suggested we go and steal some sweets? For all time’s sake.” Yn said, mischief lacing her voice. “Well, considering this is for old time’s sake, I suppose we could agree to this suggestion, don’t you agree Sophia?” Helen turned to her, anticipating the positive answer. “Oh, both of you are so impish… I love it.” Sophia returned the same energy. “What are we waiting for then?” Yn stood up and signaled the girls to the palace’s kitchen.
They sneakily slid inside the kitchen, careful to not make any noise, Helen decided to keep watch as Yn and Sophia investigated for the fresh lemon tarts the chef baked this morning. “I found them!” Yn whisper-shouted, trying to balance three tarts for each of them. “You’re going to drop them!” Sophia whispered concerned, rushing to Yn to help her. “All clear?” Yn approached Helen to give her own tart. “Uh oh, I hear footsteps.” Helen said putting a hand over her mouth. “Let’s get out from here— Yn indicated the door that led to the garden”. “To the count of three, we all start running.” Sophia whispered and the two other girls nodded.
Running outside with the tarts in hand while laughing with their heart and souls, it felt just like the old times they’ve been reminiscing about, feeling just like their twelve-year-old selves. The adrenaline mixed with nostalgia hitting even harder. “Phew, that was a close shave.” Sophia exhaled. “We’re far enough, right?” Helen said almost out of breath. “Yeah, don’t worry.” Yn reassured her. “Hey, isn’t that Seonghyeon’s house?” Sophia said as they continued to now walk. “I can’t believe we even ran that much–” Yn’s sentence was caught off by the sound of music coming out of the house’s windows.
She’d recognize this melody anywhere, he was playing her favorite song. “That’s a beautiful song.” Sophia commented giving a knowing look to Helen , as she remembered how Yn had insisted on Seonghyeon learning that specific piece. The notes merging with the late summer breeze softly.
Seonghyeon unaware of the crowd, continued to play, not rushing the last notes like he used to but he let them drag, as if he sensed that she happened to be there. How desperately he wanted to express his adoration for her, but no, it was not yet the time. And furthermore, he thought that he still hadn’t found the way he would communicate it, considering all conventional expressions futile devices.
The girls carried on with their walk, the melody now fading. “So, should we perhaps steal more tarts?” Helen’s voice cut through the silence. “Why are we stalling?” Yn turned to her— trying to find an escape from her thoughts about him— as they started to make a run for the kitchen again.
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The house had been quiet for a while since he stopped playing the piano and returned to his room. He promised to himself that he would perfect the piece before he stopped. You know, just in case she heard him. He will never forget the first time they heard that song playing at that ball, back in december, she looked so mesmerized by the melody, he had to learn to play it properly, for her. Even though he insisted it had nothing to do with her.
With one of his favorite pastimes being painting, this is what he was planning to do. He was looking through his drawers to find the necessities, until he stumbled upon that small velvet box. He hadn’t meant to look at it, but he did, remembering his grandma’s words when she gifted it to him, moments before she passed away. He missed her terribly.
“Take it.” She said handing him the small box, her hands trembling both from old age and that horrible illness that had been troubling for so long. “What is it?” A curious young Seonghyeon asked his grandma’s words, opening the box to see a gold pendant that looked like a chandelier with a small pearl detail in the middle. “This was the first gift your grandfather gave me, isn’t it so exquisite?” His grandmother smiled, remembering her late husband. “Indeed.” The young boy said, still not fully comprehending what was the reason she was giving something so precious to him. “This is for the woman you will love, it’s a family heirloom. Your future wife deserves to have it.” She said smiling. “Thank you, I ensure you, that I will give it to her—whoever she is.” He said earnestly.
He still lived with the hope of finding a true love like his grandparents. Deep in his thoughts, he didn’t notice his mother standing at the doorway, who was admiring her son. “You miss her?” His mother stepped closer to her son. “More than ever.” He said exhaling softly. “Were you thinking about what she told you before she passed?” His mother asked concerned. “Yeah, I do, more often than I’d like.” He admitted.
“You have found the one whom you love, haven’t you?” His mother asked rhetorically, as she always had the feeling from the moment they were children, that they would eventually fall in love, one way or another. “I am still uncertain.” He said cautiously. “You don’t have to lie to me, Seonghyeon.” His mother consoled him. “And what if I did?” He said a hint of vulnerability in his voice.
“It’s not a crime to be in love.” She reassured her son. “Then why does it feel like it?” He said closing his fingers around the pendant. “Because you have so much love inside of you and you still cannot comprehend how you can externalize it.” She said in that overly-motherly way. “Then why am I feeling so irritated and aggravated about it, even though I am not doing anything about it? It feels like I am in a constant fight with myself. Why couldn’t this be a little more simple?” He said frustrated. “It never is and that’s the beauty of it.”
“I do not know who I am without her.” He said running a hand through his hair. “Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back ,like Plato said, and I think you found the heart that whispers back to yours.” His mother caressed his face. “Do not wait for permission to love, because you may wait forever.” His mother continued, pulling him in her embrace.
When she left, he stood still in his place, the pendant resting against his palm. Was his mother right? Perhaps, she was, considering she knew much more about love than him. He could confess but how? What if she didn’t feel the same? What if he made a fool of himself and ruined their friendship that he cherished?
That night, he cried, despite the fact that he would never admit it to anyone. That ache in his heart begging to get healed, that ache only she could heal. I ought to confess, he thought. Why couldn’t he have been born as a prince as well? Everything would have been much more simple.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
“Your Highness, you have a guest.” Anna’s voice was heard, waking Yn up from her deep slumber under all the covers that still failed to provide some warmth from the morning November chill. “A guest?” She mumbled in her sleep. “Yeah, so wake up, lazybones.” Yn stood up at the sound of her sister’s voice. “What are you doing here?” She said excitedly, hugging her. “You thought I was going to forget your birthday?” Daniela said hugging her back.
“No, but I thought you had duties at your new kingdom.” Yn shrugged. “Nothing is more important than my little sister. You come first.” Daniela smiled. “Your absence was extremely felt. Especially the first days, considering all my friends were away.” She confessed. “Well, now I am here and that’s all that matters.” Daniela reassured her little sister.
“I brought you something.” Daniela said, pulling out a box wrapped in paper. “You shouldn’t have.” Yn said unwrapping it and seeing a journal bound in leather, her initials engraved on it. “It’s for you to write your secrets and your thoughts, you know the ones you never even let me know about.” Daniela teased. “Oh, hush. It’s not my fault you got married and decided to move away.” Yn rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I had a choice!” Daniela said in her defence.
“Do you love him?” Yn questioned. “I will be sincere, at first I did not… but gradually I learnt to do so.” Daniela admitted. “So what about you? You have anyone, that I do not know about, that has caught your eye?” Daniela joshed her little sister. “Stop acting like you know everything. I am not in love with him.” Yn said. “And the sky is not blue.” It was now Daniela’s turn to roll her eyes. “You genuinely smiled at the thought of him, you can’t trick me, little one.” She tickled her sister.
“Alright, alright enough with the love talk.” Yn said unable to hold her laughs. “Fine, I’ll do as you please, only because it’s your birthday though!” Daniela smiled. “Are you excited about tonight?” She said now brushing Yn’s hair. “Father said he decided to host the start of the little season today as a birthday present, but honestly it does not feel like it.” Yn conceded. “I understand how you are feeling, honey.” Daniela consoled her.
There was a knock on the door, just as Daniela finished with brushing her sister’s hair. “Come in!” Yn said. “There’s someone waiting for you at the gardens, your Highness.” Anna said with a soft smile and Daniela turned to Yn with that playful smile which gained a “hush” from Yn. “Go, what are you waiting for?” Daniela urged her.
Yn quickly put on her gown, went down the stairs running unconsciously, to meet him. “Happy birthday, Yn.” He said with his usual warm smile. “Thank you.” She reciprocated with a smile as well. “I wanted to give you something.” Seonghyeon said, pulling a small box out of his lapel, handing it to her. “It’s not much but it holds a great deal of significance.” He said, in anticipation to her reaction when she opened the box. The golden caught the light faintly, the small pearl detail shining, it was pendant— smooth with age. “Seonghyeon, it is stunning.” She said in awe, understanding that it was not new, hence the significance it held for him.
“It belonged to my grandmother.” He confessed. “I can’t take it from you, then.” She looked at him with her doe eyes. “She would want you to have it.” He said putting his hands on hers. “Could you please help me put it on?” “Of course.” He said, taking the pendant in his hands. He reached to fasten it, his fingers brushing her neck, goosebumps felt by both of them.
She looks up at him, being closer than they have ever allowed themselves to be. It felt like time slowed down, their hearts racing. He lowered his head slightly— albeit hesitatingly— she tilted her head as well. All until footsteps were heard close by, it was Sophia. “Yn, are you here?” She said looking around. They both freezed, the world rushing back in, he took a step back.
“Oh, there you are!” Sophia said, her eyes flicking to the new addition on Yn’s neck. “Your mother called for you.” “Of course.” Yn said touching her necklace unconsciously. “You will stop by in the afternoon, right?” She turned to Seonghyeon before departing with Sophia. “Certainly.” He said with his familiar sweet smile.
“Don’t say a word.” Yn said playing with the necklace nervously. “You know I won’t.” Sophia smiled at her.
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
“Just tell me if it’s hurting you, alright?” Anna said helping Yn with her corset. “It always does.” She said lightheartedly. “You’ve always been so dramatic.” Helen said pacing around Yn’s room. “I remember when she cried the first time she had to wear a corset.” Sophia added. “Thanks for the emotional support girls, I couldn’t be more relaxed right now.” Yn said sarcastically.
“No seriously, Yn, you look like you’re a lamb to the slaughter. Cheer up a little! It’s your birthday after all.” Helen said looking through Yn’s jewellery box for a pair of earrings that matched her gown. “Don’t you guys think it’s a bit odd my dad decided this should be my birthday celebration? Heck, I don’t even know half the people that are coming!” Yn said trying to compose her frustration. “That’s why we’re going to be by your side the whole time, don’t become disheartened, beautiful girl. This is your day after all.” Sophia said putting on a bit of blush on Yn’s cheeks.
“You think these earrings suit your new necklace?” Helen said holding up a pair of pearl detailed earrings. “You’re reading way too much into this.” Yn rolled her eyes smiling. “What? We need to find something that’s matching your necklace! You know, to honour its bestower.” Helen smirked. “Give it a rest, Helen, her cheeks are becoming even more rosy at the thought of him.” Sophia said with a huge grin. “I hate you both.” Yn smiled. “We love you too.” Helen winked.
Anna entered the room again, “Your Father is expecting you downstairs before the first guests arrive.” “I’ll be there in a moment.” Yn said and Anna nodded to her reply. “Are you ready?” Sophia asked. “Does it matter if I’m not?” Yn opened the bedroom’s door to go downstairs.
The orchestra had began, laughter was heard and servants moving around to cater to everyone’s needs. Yn moved close with her friends through the crowd, often making that exhausting small talk with birthday wishes from people she had never even met before. “Is it my idea or is this place a bit too crowded for my liking?” Yn said, looking around. “It is crowded indeed. I’m not even able to locate my own brother.” Helen rubbed her temple.
“Wait, is that Seonghyeon?” Sophia pointed. “I think so.” Helen answered. “Go.” Sophia signaled Yn to him, no longer interlocking arms with her. “But if I leave you guys, I won’t be able to find you again. This place is extremely teeming!” “Don’t worry about this, we’ll keep an eye on you, just go.” Helen pushed her waist gently.
As she tried to move through the sea of people, someone grabbed her arm, startling her. “There you are.” Her father said. “I have to introduce to the Duke of Tintagel’s son.” He lead her towards two men— a man of older age and his son, seemingly Yn’s age. “May I present His Grace’s son, Juhoon.” Her father said. “Pleased to meet you.” The guy said bowing over Yn’s hand. “So do I.” She gave a polite smile. “So, why don’t you kids get to know each other better, perhaps with a drink?” The duke suggested. “That’s an incredible idea, your Grace.” Yn’s father agreed. Great, now I’m stuck with some guy and I have to make that oh so dreadful small talk, Yn thought.
Surely this whole interaction did not go unnoticed by a certain someone— and apart from Yn’s friends who face palmed themselves when they saw her father approaching her. So like the good friends they are, they decided to draw near him. “Hallo, Seonghyeon.” Sophia tapped his shoulder and he turned around. “Hello, girls.” He said with his polite smile. “So what do you think of today’s weather?” Helen tried to lighten the situation, with a merely dumb question that gained a concerned look from Sophia. “Uhh, it’s fine–” Seonghyeon didn’t even finish his sentence when he got interrupted by Helen. “Oh there’s Keonho!” She waved at her brother to get his attention. “Now that he’ll come, we won’t bother you anymore.” Sophia joked and Seonghyeon laughed.
This whole bustling atmosphere had been fueling Yn’s urge to flee. All she needed was a good excuse to leave the Duke’s son without appearing unkind. She spotted her sister from afar and that’s when the idea came. “Let me introduce you to my sister, Daniela.” Yn said. “Daniela, this Juhoon, the Duke’s son. And both of you share the love for croquet, so I’m sure you will keep each other great company.” “Oh you like croquet too?” Juhoon asked. “Yes! It’s my husband’s favorite pastime and it gradually became mine too. We should all play together some time!” Daniela said. With the croquet talk, Yn managed to slip out the conversation.
She desperately needed to get some fresh air, and she chose one of her few comfort places in the palace— the rooftop. She was so glad she managed to get away from loud music, the obnoxious laughing and the gold light. What she didn’t expect though, was Seonghyeon having the same idea. Seems like both of them got overwhelmed.
“Didn’t expect you here.” She said sitting next to him on the railing. “Could say the same for you. Don’t you have dukes to entertain?” He said his voice laced with a note of hurt. “Very funny, Seonghyeon. You know better than anyone, I did not choose this.” She turned her head to him. “You never do.” He replied. “I feel like this was a whole set up more than a birthday celebration. What was my father thinking?” She said frustrated. “I think you can answer for yourself.” His hand reached for hers. “I’d rather not.” She exhaled.
“He looked very agreeable.” Seonghyeon mentioned. “Yes… but he isn’t you.” She looked at him. “You should not just say things like that, Yn.” He said, his heart beating out of his chest. “Why?” She said getting closer. “You don’t know what you have gotten yourself into.” He stepped closer too, their faces inches away. “Then show me.” She looked deep into his eyes. “It is not going to be simple.” He responded. “When has it ever been?” She finally closed the gap between them.
One moment there was space between them and then there wasn’t. The kiss was not hurried, not careless, just inevitable. It spelled all of the years holding back, all of the tears wasted on the thought of rejection, it was something both of them have been waiting for all their lives. Whatever happened next, none of them would regret this. Without a care in the world, it felt like time had frozen, she felt like she eventually was chosen and not prayed upon like she felt that whole afternoon. She was chosen by her one true love.
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“My beautiful Yn, wake up.” The next morning, she felt a gentle hand rubbing her arm, to wake her up. “5 more minutes, Dani.” Yn turned around. “Father, wants to talk to you.” Daniela said in a serious tone yet concerning tone. “Well, can’t it wait for a little?” She said groggy from sleep. “I am afraid not. Come on , wake up.” Daniela pulled the blanket off her sister. “Alright, I’m up!” Yn said rubbing her eyes.
“You asked for me, father?” Yn said arriving at the living room. “Yes, I did. Please, sit.” He signaled at her. “Is everything alright?” Yn questioned, seeing her father’s grave expression. “Not quite. Somebody saw you yesterday. With the earl’s son.” Her father said seriously. “Could you elaborate on that?” Yn said, her blood slowly running cold. “They saw you, kissing, Yn.” His eyes shooting daggers at her.
“Do you comprehend how humiliating and disrespectful this was for our family?” Her father’s expression not even faltering for a second. “Who saw us?” Yn asked, her heart beating out of her chest. “It doesn’t matter, it could have been anyone from all those people. I chose not to make a scene back then, but you disobeyed my wishes.”
“Is it really humiliating for you that I am in love? Is it a crime?” Yn said tears welling up her eyes little by little. “It is, when your future is at stake.” Her father’s cold expression not wavering for a second. “You were supposed to be socializing, getting familiar with the duke’s son, but you decided it was a good idea to sneak out to the rooftop with him.”
“You left your sister to interact with him, while you should have been the one to be doing so with him.” He continued. “Well, is it really my fault that they had more common interests than I did with him?” Yn tried to compose herself from breaking down. “That’s such stuff and nonsense!” Her father raised his voice a little more.
“You will not see him outside of social functions.” He said frigidly. “But, father–” “If he values you at all, he will understand. No daughter of mine will behave that childish.” He said unrelentingly, without caring about his daughter’s tears. “You can not decide about my life like that. It’s unfair!” Yn said tears streaming down her face. “This conversation is over.” He stood up from his stool, leaving her back heartbroken.
She spent the rest of her day, locked in her room, with no disinclined to do anything, even when Anna informed her that her favorite meal was cooked for dinner. She cried and cried, she knew it was not going to be simple. How could her father be so heartless? How is it such a great shame that she fell in love with someone who actually saw her for her and not for her title?
“Can I come in?” Sophia’s soft voice was heard from outside the door. “Sure.” Yn answered, quickly wiping her tears. Sophia walked in her room, going over Yn’s bed and pulling her in a hug. “You don’t have to hide from me.” She consoled her friend. “Why does he have to be so cruel?” Yn felt more tears building up. “He doesn’t understand, sweetheart.” Sophia said quietly.
“I don’t ever remember my grandfather saying that my father asked for permission to marry my mother, so why do I have to?” Yn said sniffing. “He cannot forbid what has already happened. You and Seonghyeon have been in love for years, it was actually painful seeing you two not realize.” She ran her hand softly through Yn’s hair. “Realize what?” Yn said. “That you never look at anyone else the way you look at him.”
“Oh, Sophia what would I do without you.” Yn said trying to hold back her tears. “I will always be here, I promise you that.” She wiped Yn’s tears from her face. “Why can’t it be easier? Am I asking for that much?” Yn said. “Because love is a heart attack. Love is the best and worth of everything.” Sophia booped Yn’s nose. “And how infuriating is that?” Yn exhaled, holding a smile.
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No one could say that November was smooth sailing, Yn resented herself for letting them get caught because now she payed the price with having to attend numerous events. With her father on the side. Always. What hurt more though, was the fact that she could not run to Seonghyeon, who happened to attend the same events. Her father’s eyes glued to her as a hawk.
Seonghyeon did not approach her anymore, he bowed to her from a distance, trying to not put her in more pressure, while her father was present. He felt the shift immediately. Her carefree nature exchanged for a serious, calculated one. He felt terrible, knowing that he was the root of it. He should have never kissed her, if that meant she had to go through this.
During a supper at the Marquesses’ estate, when he heard her laugh after such a long time, he felt his heart shattering, was he the one who had stole her ability to laugh?
She felt his eyes on her all the time, and although she wanted to ignore it, she wasn’t able to. She stole glances here and there, whenever her father wasn’t paying undivided attention to her. How she missed his smile, their talks, how they understood each other in a level no one else managed to do.
Only once they found themselves alone, only for a moment, when everyone was so busy, in the living room and they had sneaked in the kitchen for a moment of peace. He stopped in his tracks seeing her sat down on the floor licking any remaining jam from the pot. She looked up at him, taking his face in, she missed being alone with him so much.
“I don’t bite.” She said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “You can sit if you want.” She gave him a polite smile. “I should probably go back.” He quickly said, leaving. He could not bare to see her hurting more, if someone caught them alone again. “Oh, alright.” She said quietly, sighing as long as he left. Why did I have to be like that?
Days passed, interactions between Yn and Seonghyeon from minimal to zero. Yn spent her nights crying, holding the pendant in her hand, never taking it off. It was the only reminder she had of him now. Soon enough, Christmas was approaching and so did the respective celebration her father organised each year.
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“I have an extremely bad feeling about today.” Yn said to Sophia as they strolled around in the great hall, that had already started to get packed with people. “It’s Christmas, what could go wrong?” Sophia tried to cheer her up. Yn looked around with the hope of seeing him, and she did, him looking composed as ever besides his parents conversing with some businessmen. On the other side of the room, her father standing near the hearth, conversing with the Duke and his son. At the sight of this, she immediately looked back to Seonghyeon. Albeit their eyes, did not once meet.
After some time, her father lifted his glass. The room went still, the music lowering, awaiting for his incoming toast. “My friends, I am extremely honored and grateful for all of you spending your Christmas here with us. And in this context, it is my great honour and I am pleased to announce my daughter’s betrothal…— Yn felt her world shattering in pieces, that faint tightening in her chest becoming ever growing —… to his Grace’s son, Juhoon.” She met her father’s gaze, this whole thing was beyond belief. Applause began, enthusiastic and polite. She could still not believe her father had went out of his way to arrange a whole marriage against her will.
“Nothing brings me greater joy than to see both of my daughters that have entered adulthood, ready to live up to the responsibilities that await for them, let alone my youngest daughter, Yn.” He gave Yn that perfectly staged smile. He knew it that he had turned her world upside down. And she despised him for that.
Seonghyeon from the other side of the room met her gaze, he figured it that this happened unbeknownst to her. He hurt at the thought that he couldn’t protect her. As people started gathering towards her and the Duke’s son to congratulate them, he felt that the atmosphere became even more suffocating. “Son–” his mother tried to stop him, but he was already heading outside.
Little did he know, that her eyes had not left him for a moment. “Excuse me–” she pulled her hand away from someone who had been congratulating her, even though they had never met before. “I need some fresh air.” She told the Duke’s son and he nodded as a response.
She rushes out and it’s raining, great, she thought. He couldn’t have gone too far, could he? She looked around, when she recalled the spot they always used to go when they were children, she could take her chance and go there.
He turned when he heard her footsteps. Luckily for her, he was in fact there. “Did you know?” He said not angry but composed. She nodded her head no and he came closer to her, pulling her in a hug to shield her from the rain and the cold. “He cannot just decide like that, it’s unfair.” She said breaking down. “I know, I know.” He caressed her hair, trying to hold his own tears back. “I thought, we could scrape through, I thought we had more time.” She continued. “It doesn’t matter, you will always have me.” He consoled her.
“I am hopelessly, irretrievably and overpoweringly in love with you, Yn and nothing is going to change that.” He put his hand on her chin to make her look up. “Don’t say that.” She said, sniffing. “God, Yn, I spend the entire time I’m not with you trying to convince myself that I must be making that up, the amount I love you. It will always be you I see.” He said wiping her tears, mixed with rain, with his thumb.
“I love you.” She said taking a deep breath. And that’s when he kissed her. It started small at first, they pulled away for an instant, but they could not hold back anymore. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t careful. It was everything they had refused to say, it was every time they ignored each other in order to not “hurt” each other, failing miserably each time.
It was every stolen glance. Every deliberate step away. Every moment they had tried to convince themselves they could endure the distance. Any restraint that kept them away from each other those past weeks was now gone.
Her hands in his hair. His tightened around her waist, afraid she might disappear any moment now. The rain soaking both of their clothes, but neither of them could not care less.
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The weeks between Christmas and the night before the wedding was a fine line between stolen moments and implicit understanding about what they were doing.
Sneaking around at social gatherings, Yn on the outside mimicking the perfect soon-to-be wife in front of her father and her soon-to-be husband— who by the who knew all about her and Seonghyeon— when the only thing in her mind was how to disappear slyly to meet with Seonghyeon even for a second.
The old greenhouse had become their haven, late night meet ups, stolen kisses and quiet conversations filling up the abandoned place almost every night. Needless to say this whole scheme would not work without the help of Anna and Sophia, being the only people who knew about the secret rendezvous.
It was truly ridiculous what lengths two people would go to for love, but they were determined to do so, to defy the rules set by a cruel society. Of course, there were a lot of risky moments, suspicions of her father, a lecture from her sister, even a remark from Seonghyeon’s mother.
They had mastered the art of secrecy, words whispered only for them to know, dancing at balls out of “politeness” and hands brushing under tables, but when she’s in his arms, she feels no fear. Now they know that to live is to dream and hope for all those moments.
With the wedding date approaching, made them appreciate all this absurdity even more. Their moments becoming moreover precious. “So, he knows?” Seonghyeon said surprised. “Honestly, he took it better than I expected. He said he understood because he has his own lady friend.” She raised her eyebrows. “Oh, that explains it then. And why didn’t her do anything to prevent this whole marriage arrangement?” Seonghyeon questioned.
“Me and him are on the same boat, it’s his father.” Yn face palmed herself. “It’s like you’re destined for each other.” Seonghyeon said, his voice laced with sadness. “Don’t say that. No one will ever get me like you do. Hyeon, you have taken complete control of how my heart bleeds.” Yn pressed a soft kiss on his cheek.
“But do you ever wonder what will happen after you get married?” His words stopped Yn’s hand mid-playing with his hair. “Nothing is going to change.” She tried to reassure him, although she wasn’t that sure herself. “Your parents will defined expect a heir in the future.” Seonghyeon exhaled. “You know better than anyone that I do not conform to their expectations.” She said, hurt because how could he ever think something like that about her.
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“Could you at least pretend to be a little thrilled? You’re getting married tomorrow for God’s sake!” Daniela said, admiring her sister’s wedding dress that hung at her wardrobe. “Marriage is not something all women want.” Yn rolled her eyes, closing the book she read, putting the pressed flower bookmark Seonghyeon gifted her. “Well, you’re not all women, are you?” Daniela threw a pillow at her. “Do you have to remind me every time?” Yn said irritated.
“Is this attitude because of him?” Daniela said seriously. “I don’t know, you tell me, Daniela. Would you be happy getting married to someone who you don’t even love and doesn’t love you, instead of the love of your life?” Yn said trying to not completely lash out on her poor sister. “Look, Yn, I’d rather not argue with you right now. Perhaps you need some time by yourself.” Daniela moved towards the door. “Great, do not answer me, you’re just like father. No wonder you agree so much on everything with him lately.” Yn said resentfully. “See you tomorrow, Yn.” Daniela said coldly and closed the door. “Oh, and please call Anna, I need her!” Yn said as the door closed loudly.
“You called for me, your Highness?” Anna stepped in the room, some moments after. “Yes, Anna, I did. Did you manage to talk to Seonghyeon about what we agreed upon?” She said, hopeful. “He took some time to get convinced but he is coming tonight, sweetie.” Anna smiled. “Ugh, thank you so much.” She hugged her governess.
Yn had been anticipating the night before her marriage— evidently much more than the actual day, since this was the last time she could have Seonghyeon by her side “freely„ . As much as they both were dreading the fact that things were about to change, they had no choice but to accept this.
She had been standing in front of her window, door locked expecting him to climb any moment now that it was dark. Yes, Yn was worried about being caught but this was their last chance.
She turned around to brush her hair a little, when she heard a thump on her window— the little signal Seonghyeon used to do every time he sneaked in. Yn eagerly went to open it and help him get in. “I began to feel anxious, I thought you wouldn’t come.” She said as she helped him take off the dust from his clothes. “Not a chance in the world that I wouldn’t be here with you tonight.” He brushed a stray hair off her face.
They settled for Yn’s bed, her on his chest, their breathing steady and synchronized, every thing had quieted down, considering it was almost midnight. “Can I ask you something?” She said as he played with her hair. “Anything.” “When did you first know?” She said, playing with her pendant. “The day you jumped into the pond when the guys dared you to prove you were brave and then defended yourself when your father deemed your action improper.” He smiled, reminiscing about their childhood. “That was humiliating.” She blinked. “No, it wasn’t. Even when your father lectured you, you told him you’d rather be improper than a weakling.”
“That’s what I always admired about you, Yn. Your courage, the way you refused to cry.” And that’s what was the breaking point for her, soft tears started falling from her eyes, him wiping them for her, attempting to hold his own tears back. “What about you?” He asked. “I think I loved you before I even knew what love was, but if I need to be specific, it must have been the first summer you went away, when the house had never before felt incredibly quiet and empty.”
“This was indeed a rough summer.” He added. “You tell me? I felt as if I could not breath when you were not near.” She said, playing with his fingers. “Seonghyeon, do you hate me?” She said, taking a deep breath. “I could never hate you.” He said, tears escaping from his own eyes. The thought of not growing old beside one another, of not laughing together, kissing, dancing, the thought of becoming strangers one day, taunted them, causing an intolerable pain.
She fell asleep first—exhausted from crying, exhausted from having to part from who she truly wants for the sake of the title she unfortunately bares. Seonghyeon stayed awake, although he knew he could never forget her, memorizing any last details. How her slightly wavy hair fell loose, the way her hand moderately curled, how the pendant bejeweled her neck. If only he could freeze time.
“You take my breath away, I hope you know that.” His voice barely a whisper, to not wake her. Seonghyeon kissed her forehead, as a quiet goodbye and he silently made his way towards the window, doing his best to not make a sound. No one saw him leave that night. He regretted it that it had to happen like that but he knew deep down that it never would have been them, no matter how much they both craved it.
The night was cold, a frosty air filled the atmosphere. There was not a single soul outside, apart from him, his mother and his coachman waiting for him to depart. “Are you certain this is what you want?” His mother asked him, evidently troubled about her son’s choice. “Yes, mother, I am certain.” He said, attempting to keep his cool, even though his distress was clear. “You can always change your mind.” She advised him. “There’s no time for that, I ought to departure now. Is everything ready Mr. Edwards?” He turned to the coachman. “Yes, sir.”
“Till we meet again, mama.” He said as he sat inside the carriage. “Goodbye, my dear son.” She said, tearing up a little. The hooves made an unpleasant sound against the wet gravel, reminding him his decision. Seonghyeon promised to himself that he would not look back, but he did— the estate growing smaller behind him. Seonghyeon, undoubtedly, will always love her but still he resents her for giving him a glimpse of what they could have been.
He had known it all this time, they were walking a fragile line, and the day had came when he had to live to see it break. He deemed himself fearless, but leaving proved otherwise. He never meant to cause her any sorrow, but he chose to step aside. He thought this sacrifice would make her thank him one day, he had convinced himself he had done the right thing. Though, it didn’t hurt any less.Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, he’ll never know.
She woke up some minutes before dawn, reaching to his side only to be met with cold linen and an envelope. She woke up distressed, rubbing her eyes as she quietly called out his name— no answer. She picked up the envelope, quickly tearing it, a letter in her hands now.
“No…” The word broke out before she could even comprehend it. Hands trembling. “You’re not gone, you can’t be gone, no.” She said sobbing , holding the paper to her chest tightly. She rushed to her sister’s room unconsciously, knocking her door harshly than appropriate. Her brother-in-law opened her door, surprised and half asleep, seeing Yn clearly upset, he woke up his wife immediately. “Daniela, your sister needs you.” He said quietly.
Daniela woke up, pulling her robe over her shoulders, walking towards her crying sister who held a piece of paper. “What happened?” She wiped Yn’s tears. “He left.” She said, a sob escaping her mouth, her hands shaking. “Oh, my darling.” Daniela pulled her in a hug, and this time Yn did not try to appear strong.
Daniela held her tightly, one hand caressing her hair as she had done when they were children. “We must endure what we are given.” She said softly. “Even this.” Yn shook her head against her shoulder.
“I did not even get to say goodbye.”
…………………………………..۶ৎ…………………………………….
so hey people…
any criticism about my writing is more than welcome!
i have a love hate relationship with this fic honestly
and yes i did use guy thwarte’s telegram for the letter because i think there’s nothing cuter and more heartfelt in the entire world
when your mother tells you that you will soon be getting into a car headed straight towards the one place that has always been forbidden, you know she has ulterior motives. what you hadn't expected was a handsome prince ready to risk it all for you.
listen to ˚.⋆♪ amore mio aiutami , capri seranade , mexican dream , lady love , easy lovers , sensual , breakfast at tiffany's , vivre pour vivre | six thirty , once in a moon , juna , infrunami , give you the world , la mentira , no se tu , down to earth , freudian , over and over , nobody's supposed to be here , somethin' stupid.
please listen to the songs here bcuz i love them all, and im so excited to do this. i love descendants smmmm one of my childhood staples andj hope this inspires me for ao many more ideas like maybe even zombies or teen beach movie but yea i love u guys bai
when your mother tells you that you will soon be getting into a car headed straight towards the one place that has always been forbidden, you know she has ulterior motives. what you hadn't expected was a handsome prince ready to risk it all for you.
listen to ˚.⋆♪ amore mio aiutami , capri seranade , mexican dream , lady love , easy lovers , sensual , breakfast at tiffany's , vivre pour vivre | six thirty , once in a moon , juna , infrunami , give you the world , la mentira , no se tu , down to earth , freudian , over and over , nobody's supposed to be here , somethin' stupid.
when your mother tells you that you will soon be getting into a car headed straight towards the one place that has always been forbidden, you know she has ulterior motives. what you hadn't expected was a handsome prince ready to risk it all for you.
listen to ˚.⋆♪ amore mio aiutami , capri seranade , mexican dream , lady love , easy lovers , sensual , breakfast at tiffany's , vivre pour vivre | six thirty , once in a moon , juna , infrunami , give you the world , la mentira , no se tu , down to earth , freudian , over and over , nobody's supposed to be here , somethin' stupid.
jbbartram-illu
snowghoul
pixelskylines
kaledo-art
