the implication of andrew being raped in prison in s1 is so harrowing to think about & while he doesn’t explicitly include it when he tells baz how he was tortured there are specific moments in the first season that give me a Bad Feeling:
1. ep1 deran wonders out loud if andrew was raped in prison
-it’s interesting to me that they wrote this & decided to include it in the scene, it tells the audience that it’s significant enough to be mentioned
2. ep3 andrew tells vin he doesn’t want to do a job with him because he refuses to go back to prison, in response vin tells andrew “ass like that, i wouldn’t want to either” there’s a moment where andrew visibly dissociates/detaches himself you can see all the life go out of his eyes as he just stares off into the distance
-vin was andrew’s protector in prison, he knows everything that happened to him & it’s clear he felt hurt by andrew turning him down so he decided to go for what would be the most painful, the fact that he specifies “ass like that” can, unfortunately, only mean one thing especially considering andrew instantly becomes visibly upset at having to relive it even just for a second
3. ep6 andrew does a job w deran right after spending a night in prison & before they go in he tells deran that if they’re caught, he will kill himself. deran asks what the hell happened & andrew has that lost look on his face again
-i feel like they had to have done something especially horrible to andrew for him to pick self-inflicted death over going back. there’s only so many ways to torture someone in less than 24 hours & andrew does not return with any visible injuries, this matched with the similarities between how he reacts to deran & vin tells a story all on its own
4. ep7 vin says “guard shot him up with so much thorazine he was drooling”, also in this ep baz mentions that pope has been up since 6 am swinging at his punching bag
-andrew was in an incredibly vulnerable state, unable to protect himself. i don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine the guards took advantage of this. andrew mentioned to baz early in the season that his torture included him being stripped naked. i do think they would have used this to harm him in ways other than described by andrew. if he’s naked and can’t fight back, what’s the worst way to torture him? andrew also typically deals with his emotions through violent means (ie beating the shit out of billy after he pokes fun at smurf’s abuse) so what happened to make him so upset that he up for hours beating the shit out of a punching bag?
this is rambly & not analyzed very well but it’s just something i noticed while rewatching s1 & i think it’s important to consider this alongside smurf’s incest & deep involvement in his sex life because i think it gave him a very fucked up sense of both intimacy & how he deserves to be treated, i can imagine it being hard for him to establish his worth in a relationship because it’s never been about what He Wants.
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