Behold, a Meme

on Facebook: Behold, A Meme

[bameme]

"Let me slip into something a little more ...comfortable 😘"

[unties the green ribbon around my neck and my head immediately falls off]

[bameme]

Him: it's just a dress-up item in a self care app, are you obsessing over it?

Me: you wouldn't get it.

[yellow-cat]

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

[bameme]

God it would have been so baller to be an ancient Greek philosopher, just go around saying stuff like this ^ and people would believe you for several hundred years.

[bameme]

"Oh, so I guess that makes me the bad guy?" - Someone who is most definitely The Bad Guy.

[bameme]

"A-ACAB...*sniffle* includes the d-drag cops"

[tetitasdelimon]

top 5 horror movies

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

-the concept of working my whole life

[bameme]

All horror movies exist on a gradient between:

- "working"

And

- "The Sea."

[bameme]

"Your cat would eat you if you died"

This fat, hairy, young man starts to nibble my fingers if I don't get up fast enough while I'm alive and you think it'll become a deal breaker once I'm dead?

[bameme]

Something kinda relaxing about Elden Ring is that even if I can't save the genuinely nice characters, I can actually loathe the loathesome ones without worrying about their Tragic Backstory ™️

They're not "doing their best in a morally gray, complex world!" White Mask Varré worships a blood god and called me Lambkin, he sucks and I'm going to kill him.

[jovishark]

some advice for people entering their 20s:

-dont go to the emergency room with dental problems. go to the dentist

-bagged greens are cheaper than pre-made salads

-taco bell is NOT worth the money anymore. 1/4 cup mayo, 1/4 cup sour cream, 3 tblspoons pickled jalapenos+2tblspoons of the jar liquid, 2 tsp paprika 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder salt+pepper. all in your blender. creamy jalapeno sauce

-dont quit your job unless you have a bunch of job interviews lined up immediately after

-use resources. food bank, unemployment, housing assistance, financial aid, etc. yes there will be paperwork. but Do It

-dont stay awake longer than 20 hours. you Will start to become impulsive and cranky. resting for 20 minutes is better than trying to stay awake

-for every 2 hours you spend looking up close at screens, spend 20 minutes looking at something far away from you. stretch your wrists a lot

-dont do that yoga stretch where you roll your head around your shoulders. youre grinding down the joints in your neck

-be nice to your friends, bullying them as a joke gets old. if you need a ride somewhere at least offer them gas money

-brush your teeth at any time of the day but especially before you sleep. dont snack in bed if you can help it. make your bed the Clean Teeth Zone. keep floss picks by your bed

-dont tell your boss youre adhd/autism/depression/suicidal. dont trust your coworkers with that. you NEVER know how people will take it and its none of their business

-train your pets to go to the front door when they hear a fire alarm

-get regular oil changes

[fresh2definitely]

[thememedaddy]

[bameme]

Barring an actual anxiety disorder this is actually a good impulse to have. Find sources for "common knowledge". Check dates and locations. Is this something that could, in fact change? Are you being accurate in your description?

[oneheadtoanother]

[bameme]

[bameme]

Okay but what if I just want to turn into a crab for personal reasons? Yeah I know about carcinization but that's not why I'm doing it, I'm doing this for me

[bameme]

Nobody told me that Elden Ring is actually kind of hilarious at some points? The first merchant you meet is literally dressed like Santa. There's a mirrored helmet that keeps out the influence of the Outer Gods - it's a tinfoil hat that works. There's a JAR and he's from JARBURG. The sheep roll around like Sonic. Some guy is called "The Shit Eater". Games like Saints Row or Borderlands do backflips to be seen as "quirky" and yet nothing but nothing is funnier to me than emerging into the majesty of the Lands Between, and the very first person you talk to immediately calls you bitchless to your face.

[bameme]

Are any of us shy anymore or do we all have anxiety

[bameme]

"Is it a boy? Is it a girl?"

It's a meat clown.

[chronicillnesshumor-deactivated]

It's okay to feel burnt out from dealing with your chronic illness. Chronic illness is an exhausting 24-7 job with no breaks and no vacations.

In fact, I think we should all unionize and go on strike until our bodies start respecting the contract.