.
The amount of time I feel so apologetic towards myself and my family for having been put in this situation, which I see as a consequence of my own actions, is unbearable. Having to think about the "what if I did not do this" is useless, I know, for I cannot let the things that are done be undone. But sometimes, I cannot help it. The pressure and sadness of not being able to provide is eating me up. Day by day. Every time I wake up, I always hope that there's some good fucking news that I see in my email. Must be nice to receive a "Congratulations," "You are accepted," or "You are hired" email.
I swear, I don't want to compare because I know how bad it is for a person's mind; however, I cannot help but see how easily some people get hired. What the fuck is wrong with my resume? With my credentials? With my skills? Is it not enough? I just want to start working again, to be able to provide, to not worry much about the upcoming bills, to get out of this unemployment bubble. When will my time come?
