[sirfrogsworth]

[ shutupfish ]

[zackisontumblr]

[jeongincore]

the crab in the little mermaid was right, the human world is a mess

[boingmann]

dog: (somewhere in the house) *tap tap tap tap*

me: *calls its name*

dog: *TAPATAPATAPATAPATAPATAP*

[pukicho]

God you really know its 2AM when you look at the clock and it is

[evolvingessence]

[oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019]

I literally can’t figure out what this means.

[kittenfossils]

i didn’t even know this could help me. i’m going to shoot the autoimmune disorder out of me

[leecario]

Doctor: you have the flu

Me cocking my gun: like hell I do

[bob-belcher]

[tummydrummer-deactivated2014022]

me nd my pirate girlfriend

[holdin hands]

me: bb ur hands r so cold

her: that me hook

[goneintorapture]

[just-cat-memes]

[innocencelives]

shoutout to people with simultaneously great and terrible memories. like oh yeah i remember in perfect detail that random story you told about the banana costume from a year ago but all of novemeber? completely blank.

[itsaubreylmfao]

you don’t own a dog? sorry I can’t come over I’m busy today

[swordsafetyy-deactivated2019092]

raccoons have people hands

[orcpiss-deactivated20181220]

or do we have raccoon hands

[brucebocchi]

[nick-avallone]

me: *sees a 150lb dog*

me: awww da little puppyyy

[band--wagon]

me: *puts forth minimal effort in an attempt to solve a problem*

me: I've tried EVERYTHING

[thebestoftumbling]