BAnJo Thoughts

I'm just a simple, complex person that wants to put out her inner most thoughts. I like to take the clarity in my feelings and put it on paper. Feel Free to interpret my words in your on Point Of View.

[banjo-universe]

Insecurities

Insecurities creep up ever so slowly, twisting and climbing into my mind. Shifting my thoughts from reality to a seed of insecurity that has been planted in the center of this abstract idea that configures in the windows of the soul. Ideas manifest to grab root in its new foundation of unfounded fear. Fear that direct my being into a place of isolation. What surrounds me are weeds of deceit that tangled my path and block the truth. But then there’s you. your words are comfort like a light that shines through the dark. your truth reconstructs reality. your words unravel any interlaced or misplaced ideas. your actions make me feel at peace. your words make the insecurities disappear. your being makes the insecurities go back to a place of nonexistent. your security now wraps my body and soothe my soul. You make me feel secure. your security is where I reside.

[banjo-universe]

The Thought Of..

The thought of you makes my soul quiver with a feeling I can’t put into words. Most days, if not every day, I ponder the thought of you and your words. I ponder your ways which doesn’t include me. The separation I feel is like rejection to me. At one point I thought we were connecting, but maybe it was a delusion I created. I know most times a perception can be a deception, but I know better this time. If you truly felt anyway about me, you would have reached your soul out towards me. Why must I feel this feel? it’s not like we jumped in deep. Maybe I’m being too sentimental, or maybe you’re just being too impersonal. The very thought of you reaches back in my mind to how I was beginning to know you. I now have no concept of what you now become. I want to share with you a segment of me, but you have no room to understand me. All of these thoughts make me feel crazy. Not crazy for you, but rather crazy that I know and if you know you knooooooww. I know it’s life and life stops for no one, but just because life doesn’t stop for me doesn’t mean you had to stop knowing me.

[banjo-universe]

Silence

The silent words of a silent you made time move in  slow motion..It eventually stood still. A silent you made the air feel like a brisk whisper of solitude. Insecurities crept ever so slowly starting from the inside of a place that never existed; which were created when you words were less than none. Uncertainty vastly transferred from this new existence on the inside to the windows of the soul. A new perspective of reality. A reality that started aloof of orange and pink skies that could be cherished quickly became red skies and yellow flashes. Silent thoughts grew louder and louder as time stood still. A silent you forged walls that reflected any possibilities of another that could capture what I thought I wanted with what was a not so silent you. Not so silent you began to slightly bloom for me. Not so silent you revealed a possibility of an angelic vision. There is a slight possibility of another, but not so silent you outweighs the other. The silent you left me feeling incomplete, but now more complete than ever. The silence kept me focused on what I chose to achieve which felt so golden, but I also felt a sliver of blue because I couldn’t share my victories with a not so silent you. As the silence quieted ever so lightly, the vision slowly grew in the window of the soul that left a small flicker of a positive unknown.

[banjo-universe]

Remember

Remember you

Because I know you didn’t write it down when I asked,

Don’t let the flashing lights of the city blind your vision,Let your bright light beam through to guide you through the unknown that’s filled with the shadows of the past and the figures of the present,

Don’t lose your way,

Never forget the simple things in life like a swimming family of ducks or sherbet ice cream that floods the mind with sweet dopamine,

Never let your dreams fade,

Never let your dreams become a dream deferred by reaching for what’s not yours,

Fill your life with beautiful moments that makes you search for more,

Search for excitement and vibrant vibes,

Yes make mistakes,

Let your mistakes make you rise

Re-create visions with passion to establish achieved goals,

Never let someone cause you to lose the real authentic version of you,

Always protect your heart and always protect your vision,

Embrace each memory each day,

so

“Live”...

“Laugh”...

“Love”...

“Dream”...

“Feel”...

Experience you.

[banjo-universe]

“Not Another Love Letter”

Let me start by saying,“This is not another love letter”. In order for this to be a love letter you have to love and know how to love. So I simple ponder “what is love?” at the thought of you..me..the university.. One must confidently know who they are and be comfortable in their own skin. Knowing their laugh may have a snort, but still laughs; knowing their teeth may be spaced, but still smiles despite the wide eye stares. One must accept their mistakes and embrace their future in order to love thy self. BUT “ this is not another love letter”. Love can be as complicit as calculating the number of stars in the sky or as simple as watching a family of ducks swim right in front of your eyes. Love can create beautiful paintings by infusing passion with interest to capture peeled layers of what’s on the inside. Love can eradicate the beauty in the bond and elicit the fire that’s within. Love can take place of many forms that shape shift but is always recognizable to the humble eye of the heart. Again I say “this is not another love letter”. Love is love and is defined by who you are. So who are you?