banky

25; he/him; i’m barking at you because i’m scared not because i’m mad

[memewhore]

[turnabout]

these two communicate on a level we cannot understand with current language.

[eameschairs]

"sorry-- i didn't catch your name." "carl."

[pwhl-mybeloved]

I need like 20 more pop stars and then we’re gonna expand with pwhl hollywood

[hyenabeanz]

Hello Barbie!

[magnoliamyrrh]

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

[cherrysnax]

they whitewashed him

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]

[dovesndecay]

depiction is not the same as glorification and I need people to get that 

[chaotic-carnifex]

depiction from the POV of a character who thinks it’s okay is still not glorification

[everyurlithinkofistoolong]

[eternalgirlscout]

people always take descartes out of context. so few know the full quote is "come on and slam, i think therefore i am"

[lord-shitbox]

thought too hard about making this a real poster I could put on my wall

[selfundiagnosed]

[savahnahhallow]

Unrestrained summer fun

[nattousan]

* crazy tire-screeching noises*

[toskarin]

the average person with bad taste can be into some extremely banal garbage but when you get close enough to someone with otherwise good taste that they start a recommendation by going off on a preamble about how they don't necessarily recommend it you know you're seconds away from hearing about some real torturously wretched dogshit

[toskarin]

friend from work will have you watch a two hour movie where you can feel every second as it passes by, but enemployed movie mutual will put you on the kind of shit that feels like crawling on cobblestone until emaciated

[toskarin]

people are reading this as the latter friend recommending dry, pretentious cinema. that's not the case. not that kind of situation. you're getting no enrichment out of this. I need you to understand they're making you watch Gooby because "it's kinda good"

[weepingchoir]

[teaboot]

Not to insert myself here but as someone who owns Ghost Rider 1 and 2 on DVD I do actually need everyone to watch it right now because in the second one a kid asks Nick Cage as Ghost Rider how he pees and Nick Cage says “it’s like a flamethrower” and then they hard cut to a CGI skeleton in full black moto leather pissing a jet of fire and then it does a shoulder check at the camera and nods like “hell yeah brother”

[teaboot]

Fully derailing this post because I found a gif

[fairycosmos]

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

[devilishdescent]

[so horny my penis is whistling like a tea kettle] what? i cant hear you over my penis

[vexx-the-egg]

[largishcat]

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

[dragosballz]

movie called technically blonde where she goes to trade school instead

[inertial-reel]

No but you don't understand. Rocking up to Welding class with 100% barbie pink tools is such a POWER MOVE.

"Jeremy, I'd really like my orbital sander back ^_^"

"... didn't know it was yours..."

(Legit excited, no sarcasm) "Someone ELSE has the original Box 20-Volt Brushless Cordless Detail Sander with Dust Management?!?!?!?!"

"...no..."

Teacher walking up like "Miss Woods, is that a nail file"

(Elle, blasting compressed air to get rid of the nail file sand)

"Actually, its an emery board. But yes! :D It's a finer grit than what we have, and I've always found these easier to handle"

"...Ok, fair enough."

Elle making friends with the 6 year old daughter of one of her classmates. (Child care ain't cheap, I get it. Bring your kid to class)

Elle learning how to drive a forklift/motorcycle/semi-truck

Elle giving an impromptu lecture in the break room about what gifts to give their wives/girlfriends/mothers

Fucking laser cut "bless this mess" sign on her locker (I lied. It would totally be live, laugh, laser)

Elle's car breaks down and 20+ dudes coming out to show her how to fix it. (And realizing her mechanic is ripping her off)

Every single guy in the building filled with instant despair when she gets with one of the butch lesbians in the program.

Gimme plzzz

[kla1991]

Proposal: She takes her car to a mechanic and it's beat for beat like the original movie scene at the dress shop, where the mechanic *tries* to rip her off and she nods along and then eviscerates her with precise technical details.

The rest of Elle's class now shun that mechanics' shop and tell everyone else to as well, so that place ends up going out of businesss, which allows someone else in the class to open up a sparkling pink and perfectly trustworthy shop of his own.

[predishthefish]

[theside-b]

[fullmoonguidance]

let the bodies hit the floor is such a scary song. usually bodies hitting the floor isn’t a good thing but this guy wants it to happen anyway.

[fullmoonguidance]

and yet he insists there’s nothing wrong with him. haunting

[probuccalfat]

you people will make anybody a daddy dom it’s so scary